Simpsons Fanon
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Lisa's Rival Lisa encounters a rival nerd at school and competes with her. Bart causes trouble so he gets hypnotised again but thinks he's a chicken called Baron Von Chickenpants.

Plot[]

One afternoon Lisa was playing her saxophone in her room. This annoyed Bart.

"Lisa! Keep it down! I'm trying to prank phone call Skinner!"

"Actually my fridge isn't running as it is leaking a rather large amount of liquid young man." said Skinner.

Bart sighed and ended his phone call.

"Well tough! It's my room so I'll do what I want in it!" said Lisa.

Bart had an idea to get her back.

Lisa started playing again as soon as he left her alone but suddenly something was banging and crashing against the wall between her room and Bart's. Whatever it was it was knocking things off of her shelves and dislodging her picture of Yendor and the curious bear cub.

"Bart! Quit it!" Lisa yelled.

"My room my rules!" Bart replied as he was lying on his bed reading a comic and kicking his bedroom wall that on its other side was Lisa's room.

Lisa tried to keep playing.

"I can do this all day...." said Bart.

Lisa sighed and went elsewhere.

She was now in the garage playing her saxophone.

"Lisa keep it down! I'm trying to fix your mother's camera!" said Homer. He was using an electric drill with a hammer like a hammer and chisel. "Easy..." he whacked the drill and broke the camera into pieces.

Homer pointed the drill bit at his eye.

"Dad! Don't!" Lisa warned him.

"Hmmmm... need a bigger drill bit..." said Homer.

In the lounge Marge was reading about pirates. She then fell asleep and dreamed about a gay Puerto Rican pirate with long blond hair and heaving muscles.

"These seas sure are heaving!" said Marge giggling.

"Not as much as your buxom bosoms darling." said the pirate. Um you're a gay pirate...

"That earring, does that mean you're a pirate?" Marge asked. No it means he's a butt pirate and likes to take it up Davy Jones's locker! Oh!

"Perhaps..." said the gay pirate in denial. "Now my darling let's return to my cabin and- Oh what is that noise?! Ugh! Well I'm outta here..." a saxophone playing put him off having his way with Marge.

Marge woke suddenly to find Lisa playing her saxophone.

"Lisa stop blowing my sex! I mean stop blowing your sax! Your sax!" Marge yelled.

"But mom I have to practice for next week's recital!" Lisa explained.

"Well I sacrificed a camera for five minutes peace..." said Marge.

Maggie put pacifiers in her ears.

"I'll play outside..." said Lisa.

Marge went back to sleep.

"Oh Lorenzo..." Marge was dreaming about that gay pirate again.

...

Lisa was playing in the garden. However Maude was next door trying to prune her flowers.

"Lisa dear, can you play your instrument elsewhere I'm trying to prune Ned's petunias." said Maude.

"Fine..." Lisa sighed.

Lisa went up to the attic. She didn’t see why she couldn’t go up here, except nearing her birthday and Christmas because her presents were likely kept up here.

She sat on a box and played the saxophone.

The Thing in the attic groaned and growled annoyed.

”Lisa! Are you in the attic pestering the attic monster that we don’t actually have!! Damn it Homer!” said Homer yelling.

Lisa sighed and went downstairs not noticing a Bart like kid chained up in the attic.

”Lisa, the attic is out of bounds!” Homer explained. “Do you understand?”

”Yes Dad, but I need to recite for the band practice. School is looking for first Saxophone this year.” said Lisa.

...

Miss Hoover's class were having a test.

"Twenty minutes till the end of test children." said Miss Hoover.

"Lisa what's the answer to question seven?" Ralph asked.

"Sorry Ralph that would be against the point of testing!" said Lisa.

Ralph paused. "My cat's called mittens." He whispered to Lisa.

"Test over." said Miss Hoover. Everyone except Lisa sighed.

"For extra credit what did Christopher Columbus set out across the world to find?" said Miss Hoover. Lisa put her hand up.

"Anyone besides Lisa..."

Ralph put his hand up.

"Is it about your cat Mittens..." Miss Hoover asked him.

Ralph put down his hand.

"Fine... Li-" Miss Hoover asked Lisa but a girl answered the question successfully.

"To find a passage to India." said the unseen girl.

"Very good Alison!" said Miss Hoover.

"And he wasn't the first to discover America. Several explorers before him can be attributed to that, including the Viking Leif Erikkson." said Alison.

"Wowee!" said Miss Hoover.

"I've never heard Miss Hoover say wowee..." said Lisa.

At Recess Lisa introduced herself to Alison.

"Hi I'm Lisa." said Lisa.

"Hi I'm Alison." said Alison.

"How's being an eight year old too smart for second grade?" Lisa asked.

"Actually I'm only seven. I skipped first grade because I got bored." said Alison.

"You're younger than me too?!" Lisa gasped. Then she started hyperventilating into her lunch bag.

"Are you hyperventilating?" Alison asked.

"No I just like the smell of my lunch." said Lisa.

Suddenly some bullies pushed Lisa over. "Hi Brain Queen!" They taunted her.

The camera pans over to Peter Shepherd smugly looking at his older sister Judy.

"Brain Queen!" He teased her.

"Shut up Peter..." Judy sighed.

...

After recess Bart decided to continue tormenting Lisa for playing her saxophone over his prank phone call. Lisa took Malibu Stacy out of her locker.

"Yoink!" Bart took the Malibu Stacy doll's head.

"Bart!" Lisa yelled.

A rat poked its head out of her now headless doll.

Lisa screamed and and dropped her doll.


Bart was in science class and flushed the Malibu Stacy head down the sink plughole some how.

Lisa angrily ran in.

"Bart what did you do with my Malibu Stacy doll's head?!"

"Nothing..." Bart feigned innocence.

"Where is it??" Lisa yelled.

"Nowhere...." said Bart. The sink behind him overflowed with water...

"Baaaaaart!" Lisa screamed.

"Lisa no screaming out loud!" said Skinner. "And don't you have a saxophone recital?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks Principal Skinner!" said Lisa running off.

"Bart, is that sink flooded?" Skinner asked.

Bart looked around awkwardly.

...

At Home Marge was sleeping after reading her gay pirate book again.

"Mom...." said a voice. She didn't wake. "Mom!"

Marge woke with a start to find Hugo staring at her.

"Mom the ring came off my pudding can..." said Hugo.

Marge sighed and went to the kitchen.

"The can opener should be in the draw on the right. No the other right."

"Found it." said Hugo. "Now what?"

"Open the can with it." said Marge.

Hugo couldn't get the can opener to work.

"Mom it's broken. Mom it's broken..." Hugo explained then he started singing "Mom it's broken! Mom it's broken!" to the Simpsons theme tune.

"Hmmmm!" Marge sighed opening his pudding can for him.

...

At dinner several hours after Hugo was quickly locked up in the attic again Homer had made a grey mash for dinner.

"Homer what is this? It looks like grey mush..." Marge wasn't impressed with his cooking.

"I call it grey mush!" Homer explained.

"It tastes very sweet and is hurting my teeth!" said Lisa.

"That's because it's loaded with sugar!" said Homer holding a bag of sugar spilling everywhere.

The family coughed and spluttered and ran off.

"Hey that meal was only half the lethal dose of sugar!" said Homer.

"Uh oh! Shouldn't have had seconds!" said Grampa groaning.

...

It was the instrument recital. Utter played the alphorn.

"Next..." said Mr Largo.

Jimbo played the tambourine badly.

"He's good!" said Mr Largo to Skinner.

Martin played the lute while wearing green medieval clothes and a sugarloaf hat.

Jimbo then punched Martin.

"Ow! My lute!" His lute got broken.

"Oh! Give him bonus points for hitting that fat knowitall kid!" said Mr Largo.

Then Lisa and Alison were in direct competition with each other. Lisa was annoyed Alison was just as good as her at playing the saxophone so she played finer and harder until she fainted from running out of air.

"Lisa! Lisa!" Lisa woke up to Mr Largo checking if she was alright. "Are you alright?"

"Did I win?" Lisa asked.

"No you didn't!" Largo yelled. "Alison did!"

Lisa screamed.

However this was a dream and she actually woke to Mr Largo reviving her.

"Lisa are you alright?" He asked.

"Did I win?" Lisa asked.

"No you didn't! Alison won! And this is not a dream, young lady!" yelled Mr Largo.

"Yes it is!" said Oscar dressed as Marge from Homer's photographic memory. He had a green Marge hair do with blue rolls of hair with orange rollers, a rainbow necklace and a blue dress.

"Tamaki stop making a spectacle of yourself!" Mr Largo told Oscar off. "Lisa, Allison is ten times more talented than you will ever be, so give up your dreams as a jazz musician!"

Oscar threw a live lion at him. He screamed as the lion mauled him.

At recess Bart noticed Harrison Ford from The Fugitive was skulking about hiding in the bushes. Bart winced.

Quigly the cross eyed kid was playing jacks with the boy who eats worms as he slurped up some poor earthworms and the kid who wears diapers. A boy was sat there in just his diaper.

Plot 2[]

Lisa was sad at lunch as Ralph didn't want to ask her for answers to test questions and her bullies were picking on Alison now.

"I can't stand to see you so sad... except from a rubber spider down your dress." said Bart. He took out a tape recorder. "Note to self. Put rubber spider down Lisa's dress..." said Bart into his recorder before laughing. Then he set it to record to just record him laughing evilly.

Lisa sighed.

...

At home Homer was off work for some reason.

Marge came in with Maggie who was crying.

"Homer I can't settle Maggie! Can you help?" Marge asked.

"Sure, give me our little angel." said Homer taking Maggie. He then inflated his head until it exploded. Maggie stopped crying and started laughing and clapping.

"Hmmmmm! Homer..." Marge didn't like him doing that.

At school, Bart was assigned as a punishment at detention to help unblock the flooded sink in the science lab class room.

"I found the source of the blockage. A Malibu Stacy head! I wonder how that got there..." said Bart feigning innocence as he held an engorged Malibu Stacy head brown from dirty water and gunk in the plughole pipe.

"Good, I suppose you can go now, Bart." said the science teacher.

Bart read the timetable for tomorrow's lesson.

"Coooool! Frog dissecting!" said Bart. He liked being disgusting in dissection class.

However it wasn't long before he was causing trouble again. At lunch he was being chased by an angry Principal Skinner and was using ketchup and mustard bottles to slide down the hall but ran out of ketchup and Mustard. He desperately squeezed the bottles and tripped and stumbled into a darkened gym. It was pitch black in there.

"Ah they'll never find me in here... Hehehehe!" said Bart laughing as only his eyes could be seen. However suddenly a spotlight came on above him and Lunch Lady Doris sat on a chair took his arm and injected him.

"Ow! Lunch lady Doris?! Why did you do that for?!" Bart asked.

"Bart you just stumbled into the BCG vaccine line." said Skinner having turned on the gym lights. There was a line of kids waiting for their jabs.

"Why does the gym need to be dark...?" Bart asked.

"Because I'm getting my jab..." said Ace the vampire kid.

...

At home after school Bart was drinking a squishee and watching cartoons while Maggie and Lisa poked his vaccine area that had been plastered up.

"Ow! Quit it! Ow! Quit it!"

They poked him again.

"Ow! Quit it!"

"Hey boy, what's this?" Homer asked poking his vaccined arm.

"Ow! Quit it!" Bart said annoyed. "I stumbled into a BCG vaccine line and got my jab."

"We've been poking him all afternoon to see his reaction." said Lisa.

"That sounds fun!" said Homer.

They all started poking Bart's arm.

"Ow! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it!" Bart yelled.

...

Lisa went to Alison's for tea. She was pleasantly surprised to find Alison's family were just as smart as her and held polite conversations.

"What are guys getting up to?" Lisa asked as Alison and her dad were in an anagram game of some kind.

"We're taking names and rearranging the letters to form an apt description of that person." said Alison's Dad.

"For example... I dunno, Alec Guinness." said Alison.

"Genuine Class." said Alison's Dad.

"Excellent Dad! Now you do one Lisa! Let's start with Jeremy Irons." said Alison.

"Uh.... Jeremy's Iron?" Lisa didn't do very well.

The Alisons didn't know how to respond.

"Tell you what Lisa. You play with this little red ball." said Alison's Dad, giving Lisa a red ball.

Lisa sighed.

However Lisa was pleased they were a very smart and civilised family and held the most polite and fascinating conversations at dinner. At home it was just Dad burping or strangling Bart or Bart being disgusting.

After dinner, Lisa was in Alison's observatory. She took the time having not seen Alison's father she decided to throw the red ball away.

However it rested by his feet. "Oh you almost lost this. Now you keep bouncing and catching that ball, Lisa." said Alison's father giving her the red ball.

Lisa sighed.

...

The following day was book day. Everyone was to design a diorama of their favorite book.

"I'm doing Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens." said Lisa. "And Alison is doing The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe."

Bart pulled a face at her.

Then he wanted to help sabotage Alison’s model. “By soaking her with a hose! Mwuhahahaha!”

“Bart how does that help me win the competition?!” Lisa yelled confused.

“She’ll be soaking wet and we’ll be mostly dry. Well there’s to be some splash back...” said Bart.

“That won’t stop her taking part!” Lisa was frustrated by Bart’s moronic suggestions.

“Yes it will! She’ll be soaking wet and crying!” said Bart.

“Bart we’re not soaking her with a hose!” Lisa yelled.

“Ok ok. Hear me out... how about we spread an embarrassing story about her?” Bart asked. “Look at this photo I took covertly of Alison. She still uses stabilisers...” said Bart. There was a picture of Alison riding a pink bike with stabilisers.

“Oscar still uses stabilizers.” said Lisa.

“Exactly. She’s one of the backwards freaks who won’t grow up!” said Bart,

Oscar suddenly lunged at him and throttled him.

”Why you big!”

”Ack! Ecccccck! Help I’m being killed by a diaper wearing freak!” Bart gasped as he was being strangled.

It was the book day. Nelson was up first.

"The Grapes of Wrath?" Skinner asked as Nelson just had a box of grapes.

"Here's the grapes (Nelson pointed at the grapes) and here's the wrath! Haw-Haw!" Nelson smashed the grapes with a mallet, splashing grape juice all over Skinner.

"Well I fell for that one!" said Skinner cleaning himself up. Next was Uter. He stood before an empty box with a few chocolate stains in it and looked miserable.

"Charlie and the chocolate factory. Uh Uter where's your diorama?" Skinner asked.

"I begged you to look at mine first! I begged you!" Uter cried.

Next was Lisa's and Alison's. "May we see your dioramas?" Skinner asked.

"Well, these are both disappointing..." said Skinner.

Lisa and Alison were shocked.

Oscar’s was a cow heart. “Kali ma shakti de! Kali maaaa! Kali maaaa!”

“Good lord!” Skinner gagged in disgust.


Bart then decided to distract everyone while Skinner checked Ralph's.

"Look at me! I'm doing something! Lalalala!" Bart made a spectacle of himself.

"Bart, stop acting like a jack ass this minute, young man!" Skinner told him off.

Bart started squawking like a chicken and held his arms like chicken wings.

Skinner was very pleased with Ralph’s simply because his diorama was Star Wars collectible figures. “Star Wars figures?! Han! Luke! Chewie! They’re all here!”

“What’s a diorama?” Ralph asked.

“What do you think, Elizabeth?” Skinner asked Miss Hoover.

“I think it’s lunch time.” said Miss Hoover.

“We have a winner!” Skinner gave Ralph first prize.

Lisa and Alison were shocked and annoyed because the whole point of the diorama exhibition was to do a diorama on your book of choice. Not bring in Star Wars figurines.

After the book fair as everyone went home.

"I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids! I- (Ralph fell on his diorama.) I bent my wookie..." said Ralph.

Lisa and Alison sighed and helped him up.

...

Homer was driving Lisa somewhere. Probably to her friend's house. Lisa didn't like the station he had on the radio.

"Daaaad! Turn it over..." Lisa whined.

"Sweetie, when Daddy's driving he listens to what he wants. When you're driving, we listen to what you want." said Homer

Suddenly they decided to swap seats. Lisa was driving the car with liberal rock music playing.

"Agh! It's awful! Let's change back!" Homer screamed. Homer was back in the driving seat and Lisa was in the front sulking as Homer had his sports station on.

Meanwhile.

“Oscar, where’s Milhouse?” Bart couldn’t find Milhouse at recess.

“Uh I reported him to the FBI for a prank and they took it a little too seriously...” said Oscar.

Milhouse was at the dam outlet from The Fugitive being held at gun point by Tommy Lee Jones.

“I didn’t do anything!” Milhouse cried.

“I don’t care...” said Tommy Lee Jones. He kicked Milhouse off of the dam.

“Aaaaaaaaagh! My glasses!” Milhouse screamed.

“Errrr... okay...” said Bart at school.

...

Marge was annoyed to find sugar in the backyard again. And dancing lollipops and ice creams.

“Homer are you sugar posting again?” Marge yelled.

Homer was in a vest and shorts with a Walkman singing “Sugar Sugar! Do do do! Oh honey honey! Do do do!”

Marge face palmed.

That afternoon my co author suggested Abe, Oscar and Hugo wanted some chocolate pudding...

”Where is this going...” Bart groaned.

At home Homer was feeling under the weather.

Grampa, Hugo and Oscar came in.

"Son, we want some chocolate puddings." Grampa asked.

"Me too." Hugo asked.

”No way you freak! You don’t get anything! I didn’t want you!” Homer snapped.

”Shut up fat ass! He’s your son whether you like it or not!” Abe snapped.

"Me three." Oscar asked.

"I’m sorry, guys. It's afternoon, I'm so sick, we don't have any chocolate pudding." Homer explained.

"Daaarrgghh! Now you darn it!" Grampa groaned.

"We want the chocolate pudding! We want the chocolate pudding! We want the chocolate pudding! We want the chocolate pudding!" Hugo and Oscar complained.

"Dad, Hugo, Oscar, we don't have any chocolate pudding!" Homer groaned.

"There must be a store open somewhere." said Grampa.

"Dad, I'm not going out at afternoon to buy you chocolate pudding, and that's final!" Homer scolded at Grampa, Hugo and Oscar.

At Kwik-E-Mart, Homer came in and walked up to a cash.

"Where's the chocolate pudding, Apu?" Homer asked.

"We're out of the ready-made stuff, but we got pudding mix!" said Apu as he pulled out a box of Duffy's pudding mix.

At Simpsons' home, in the kitchen, Homer stirred the pudding mix in a pot on the stove as Marge walked and came in.

"Homer, what are you doing?" Marge asked.

"Making chocolate pudding." said Homer.

"It's afternoon for dinner!" Marge explained and looked her watch. "Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?"

"Because I've lost control of my life." said Homer.

Bart screamed frustrated and a studio audience booed.

”Enough of the flippin Rugrats Chocolate Pudding memes!!” Bart yelled.

In the lounge, Grampa, Hugo and Oscar watched the television to "Disney’s The Little Mermaid".

Homer and Marge came in as he brought them their chocolate puddings.

"Here's your pudding, all of you." said Homer.

"Oh, that's okay, Dad. We’re not hungry anymore." said Hugo.

Homer screamed the house down.

(Homer screaming while we cut to the outside of the house.)

Bart (in a wheelchair) in his room reading wore his green pyjamas and saw Homer's was off work for some reason. He was soothing Maggie who was crying again, probably from gas or a dirty diaper. Homer’s idea of soothing her was inflating his head until it exploded like that time Bart kept mucking up stories about their younger years with zany random things like exploding heads.

Maggie giggled.

”Homer stop that! I’m sure you only have a certain amount of heads you can regrow!” said Marge.

Bart laughed because he found Homer’s head explosions funny too.

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