Lisa's First Word While trying to get Maggie to talk, Marge tells everyone the story of Lisa's birth and her first word.
Homer and the kids are trying to get Maggie to talk.
"Come on Maggie, say Daddy!" Homer coaxes her.
"Come on Maggie!" said Lisa.
"You can do it Maggie" said Bart. However she just sucked her pacifier.
”Come on Mags!” said Bart.
”You can do it Maggie! Say Lisa! Lisaaaaa.” said Lisa.
”No say Bart! Come on Maggie! Say Bart!” said Bart.
Then in canon it gets funny.
“Maggie say Mommy.” said Lisa being sensible.
“Can you say "get bent"?“ Bart asked trying to get the baby to say something rude.
”Bart!” Marge yelled.
”Mr. Rogers says it all the time.“ Bart replied making a phoney excuse.
“He does not.” Marge said sharply.
“Maggie, can you say "Daddy"? Daddy.” Homer gently asked Maggie. She sucked her pacifier.
“Kitty. Kitty.” Lisa was holding Snowball II.
”Be-bop. Be-bop.“ Oscar suggested a silly suggestion.
”Shove it. Shove it.“ Bart was still trying to get Maggie to be rude.
(Belches) Maggie took out her pacifier and belched.
”Did you hear that? She said "burlap".“ Homer gasped.
“I don't think so.“ Marge sighed.
The Simpsons and Oscar continue to get Maggie to talk.
”Say kitty!” Lisa was still holding the cat who looked fed up.
”Bum! Bum! Bum! Buuuuum!” Oscar was yelling Bum.
”Oz!” Marge yelled.
Oscar pouted a sad cute face.
”Oooooh! I can’t stay mad at that face!” Marge thought he was adorable.
"I don't think she's going to be talking anytime soon guys." Marge sighs. "I remember Lisa's first word..."
"Ooooh! Tell us! But first what was my first word?" Bart is eager for yet another story.
"I don't really remember..." Marge lies blushing with embarrassment as she remembers a particularly embarrassing memory. One night while Bart was a baby, he got out of his crib and walked in on his Mom and Dad clearly at it in bed throwing their clothes about in passion.
"Ay carumba!" yelled Baby Bart.
The daydream ends. "Let's save that story for another time..." Marge grimaces. "Anyway, you kids may not know, but your father and I didn't always live here at 742 Evergreen Terrace..."
Nine years ago in downtown Springfield, A young Marge Simpson was nursing her baby, Bart and talking to the neighbors when Homer arrived home from work.
Baby Bart runs up to him. "Homer!" he cooes in joy.
"Hehehe! Homer's what grown ups call me. Call me daddy." Homer explained to Bart who was wearing just a diaper.
"Homer!" Bart insisted.
"Daddy!" Homer was getting impatient.
"That's it! Come on!" Homer thinks Bart is really trying to say Daddy.
"Dohmer! (Giggles)!" Bart says and giggles.
"Grrrrr! Why you little---" Homer strangles Bart.
"(Choking noises)" Bart couldn't breathe and his eyes bulged as Homer throttled him.
"Homer! What the hell are you doing?!" Marge snatched Bart from him. "I never want to see you do that ever again!" she yells at Homer.
Back in the present.
"Yet he still does that..." Bart comments.
"He only started doing that again when you were five..." Marge explained.
"He shouldn't be strangling Bart at all!" Oscar glares at Homer.
"Anyway Bart got up to all sorts of mischief..."
Nine years ago.
After that afternoon. There was a short montage of Baby Bart getting up to mischief. Bart climbs onto the TV while Homer's sleeping and dives off of it trying to copy a wrestling move as he lands on Homer's stomach. Homer screams in pain.
The family are then having spaghetti dinner. Bart is making a mess with his food, and so is Homer...
Homer is then changing Bart's diaper when he pees at him.
Bart then decides to swing dangerously from the washing line naked. (They live on the third floor. So it's pretty high up from the ground.)
"He'll get tired..." Homer explained to a gasping Marge. However it's night and Bart's still swinging about and cheering.
"Bart sounds like he was very mischievous even as a baby." Oscar comments.
"That's putting it lightly..." Homer groans.
Nine years ago.
Marge has finally Got Bart back indoors and put his diaper back on. He's now in his crib being read a bedtime story.
"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe..." Marge reads.
"And..." Bart asks.
"She had many children, the end." Marge replies.
"What were their names?" Bart asks.
"George, Julie, Yeardley, Nancy, Dan, Hank, Phil, Kelsey, Marcia, Pamela, Terrance, Tim..." Marge lists names until she falls asleep. Bart rolls his eyes and decides to watch TV. He is watching a slapstick comedy. He giggles at the mayhem.
The next day Homer is playing gotcha nose with Bart.
"Gotcha nose!" says Homer.
"Gotcha wallet!" Bart takes his wallet and runs away. The naughty baby flushes it down the toilet. "Bye bye Wallet!"
"Aghhhhh!" Homer screams. "Bart! Don't you ever do that again! Understand?"
"Beep!" Bart pokes his nose. Homer growls at him.
"Homer! Don't get angry with him! He's just a baby!" Marge scolds Homer. "Now, Bart, there's going to be twice as much love in this house."
"We're gonna be doing it during the day?!" Homer asks.
“Homer!” Marge scolds him first mentioning sex in front of Bart.
“Oh he doesn’t know what we’re talking about...” said Homer.
“Yes I do! You’re talking about nakey time!” said Bart.
“Bart!” Homer yelled, losing his temper.
“Any as I was saying! I meant we will be having another baby! Bart you will have another little brother or sister.” said Marge.
Bart imagined a scenario where he used the baby to hold up a ramp for performing stunts on his skateboard. Then in another scenario he had scribbled on a wall.
“Who drew on this wall?!” Marge said vexed.
“Baby did.” said Bart.
“Bad baby!” Marge took the baby off somewhere.
Then in another scenario Bart spilt his glass of milk.
“Uh oh.” said Bart. He picked up the baby and wiped up the spilt milk with the baby. He put the baby back in its high chair and smiled innocently as Marge walked past.
”Well Bart what do you think?” said Marge.
”Don’t I get a say in this, Lady?” Bart asked.
”Hmmmmm... Bart I’ve asked you nicely. I’m your mommy. You call me mom, or mommy or even mother but not lady....” Marge sighed.
”Okay Lady! I love you! Buh bye!” said Baby Bart.
Meanwhile Bart has taken Homer’s keys keys and flushed them.
"Bye bye keys!"
"D'oooooh!" Homer groans as Marge gasps.
"Of course the flat wouldn't be big enough for us and Lisa..." said Homer.
“Or attic boy.” said Oscar. “Come to think of it, where did you put him if you had no attic then?” But Homer growled and suddenly hand gagged Oscar and took him out the room.
"That's easy, the baby can sleep in the crib and Bart can sleep with us until his 21!" Homer suggested. “Like my cousin Arnie!”
"We're not doing that..." Marge replied at Homer's stupid suggestion. “Any what happened to Arnie?”
“Well she’s Agatha now and wears dresses. Then she joined a cult and started asking to be called Mama Shamu or something.” said Homef.
Marge went “Hrrrrmmmmm...”
They looked around some houses. First up was a house full of cats. The cats are hissing and screeching.
“I think a cat lady died in here.” said Marge.
Then a house boat advertised to them by Captain McCallister. But suddenly a great big shark appeared!
“Excuse me one second!” said Sea Captain putting a knife in his mouth and grabbing a harpoon gun. He dived in the water. Then moments later the shark came up with him in its mouth. “Have a gander at the poop deck!”
Then they checked out an MC Escher dimension of stairs and door ways.
“Hmmmmmm... I don’t think we need to be spending money on a dimension we’re not gonna use...” said Marge.
Homer tumbled down the stairs and fell down them and others at odd angles. Even ones that were upside down. He yelled “D’oh! D’oh! D’oh!” Repeatedly as he fell.
Then the next house they looked at was seemingly perfect.
“Okay what the catch?” Homer asked having seen some terrible houses.
“No catch sir.” said the estate agent. “But we are technically in New Jersey.”
“Before settling on 742 Evergreen Terrace...” said Homer in the present.
"Where we live now." Marge narrates.
In the past, Homer and Marge moved into 742 Evergreen Terrace.
“Hey, Homer this place sucks!” said Toddler Bart.
“Bart don’t speak like that! And call me daddy!” Homer yells at Bart.
“Homer!” Bart said petulantly.
“Homer! Bleh!” Bart stuck his tongue out at Homer.
Homer growled at Bart and began strangling him.
“Homer!” Marge shouted at Homer for threatening Bart.
That evening Patty and Selma cane over.
“Bart sung that cute song you like to sing.” said Selma offering him money. “I’ll give you a dollar...”
Bart took the money and cleared his throat. He began singing Allouette.
“Allouette, gentile Alloutte...” Bart sung in fluent French. “Allouette, Je te plumerai!”
”Oh god! You frog...” Oscar in the present groaned.
”Limey....” Bart retorted.
Next was finding a bed for Bart. He wouldn't let go of the crib.
"Bart, the baby sleeps there now." Marge tried to explain.
"I am a baby! Goo goo gah gah!" Bart retorted.
"Fine. Marge let's leave the baby with his crib." Homer then tries to pull Bart away from the crib again.
Later Homer finds Bart watching Krusty the Clown and gets an idea.
“Clown, funny.... hehehehe!” said Bart.
He builds a clown bed for Bart.
However the bed is scary looking, due to Homer's poor craftmanship.
"There, now you can laugh yourself to sleep!" Homer explains. "Night night!"
Bart stays curled up staring at the creepy clown. Suddenly in his imagination it talks to him.
"If you should die before you wake... (demonic clown laughter)!"
There is a cut to the outside of the house with Bart's very loud cries.
Bart is then watching TV with his parents. "Can't sleep. Clown will eat me! Can't sleep. Clown will eat me!" He repeats shivering with fear.
"Hrrrmmmm! Homer what did you build for him?! We can't have this every night!" Marge nags.
So where's that clown bed now?" Oscar asks.
"Uh that's a story for another time." Homer explained.
"Please don't mention that clown bed..." Bart shivers. He still has nightmares about it.
”Cloooooooowns...” Oscar spooked him.
”Oz don’t scare people.” Marge admonished him.
”Well. That wasn’t the first bed that I made that scared Bart.
Homer suddenly had a flashback of the Rugrats episode Under Chuckie’s bed.
Chuckie got out of the playpen and toddled off to his room. Instead of a cot bed was a plain bed with no bars in a drab grey room.
”Nooooooooooo!” He cried.
The grown ups just heard him crying.
”Looks like the Chuckster found his new bed!” said Betty.
In the present.
”Everyone stop referencing the Rugrats just because I voice Chuckie!” Bart yelled. “Which hasn’t happened yet! Christine Cavanaugh still voices him!”
The Flanders come round to greet the new neighbors, the Simpsons.
"Well hi diddly ho, neighborinos!" Ned greets them. "And these are my sons, Rod and Todd."
"Hi!" Rod greets them.
"Ooooh, so you have kids. Mind taking one more?" Homer asks, trying to give Bart to them.
"Homer!" Marge yells. "What he means is can you babysit Bart for a while? How about that Bart? You can sleep over and make some friends!"
"Of course! That's what neighbors are for!" Ned is happy to babysit.
(These people are obviously geeks... But I don't want to stay with that big scary clown!) Bart is thinking. "Ok Lady, I love you bye bye!" Bart replies as he's handed over.
"Ooooooh! Bart, you know I don't want you calling me that! Call me Mommy." Marge admonishes him gently.
"Ok Lady, I love you bye bye!" Bart repeats and giggles.
At the Flanders Bart finds the place boring and doesn't want to take part in their religious pop quizzes. Rod and Todd are annoying him with their geekish, overly Christian behaviour.
“Iron helps us play!” said Rod. In canon, Todd was alive some how. Despite being eight in canon so if he was he’d be a newborn baby.
Bart is bored of the Christian board game and wearing a turban.
"I wanna go home..." However he sees the clown bed staring at him from his bedroom window. "No I don't!"
It's soon Bed time. Things are about to get worse. Marge had given Ned some instructions during the day and something...
"Now boys, Bart's not potty trained yet so he has to wear diapers to bed." Ned explains to Rod and Todd. Bart blushes with embarrassment. "Maude, you think we should think about getting a waterproof mattress cover if Bart's going to here for a few nights?" He asks his wife.
Bart is changed into a clean diaper and put into his pyjamas and tucked in. However Rod and Todd keep singing bible songs.
“(Rod singing I’ve got joy in my heart!)” Rod sings I’ve got joy in my heart today.
“Gimme joy, joy joy... Joy in my heart! Joy in my heart! Joy in my heart todaaaaay!”
Bart gets fed up and goes downstairs to make an escape.
(This is driving me nuts! Clown bed or no clown bed, anythings better than here!) However he then bumps into a hideous cackling hag with a lazy eye.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Bart screams. Ned comes down stairs and turns the light on.
"Oh I see you've met Grandma Flanders!" Ned explains the lady is just his grandmother.
"Hello Joe!" says the eccentric old lady.
The next morning, Bart is thinking about the clown laughing, Rod saying "Iron helps us play!" And Grandma Flanders saying "Hello Joe!" Over and over.
Soon Bart has to come home. Fortunately for him the clown bed is gone and he has a crib bed. A bed with slide away safety bars. (This is for you, Bart!)
“No he got the bed he has now. And that was a problem for him...” said Homer.
Chuckie screamed at his grey room.
”Homeboy enough!” Bart groaned.
”Call me Dad!” Homer snapped.
Anyway in the past Bart slept in his new bed that thankfully wasn’t a spooky clown that wanted to eat him.
”Hey there Bart....” said a deep voice from under his bed...
Toddler Bart screamed the house down.
”Oz stop ad-libbing the Rugrats episode where Chuckie has a monster under his bed into the story!” Bart rants.
"When do we get to me?" Lisa groans.
"Oh, eventually Lisa was born.” said Homer. “What you might not know is that Lisa would have had an older sister and therefore Bart you would have had a little sister sooner but unfortunately she died inside your mother.”
“Homer! They do not need to know I miscarried!” said Marge.
“Well there’s a scene where you’re crying for some reason that I thought was prenatal mood swings.
Young Marge was crying on the bed, deeply upset. Homer soon found out from her that they had lost the baby. No not Lisa, a baby Marge had a few months before getting pregnant with her.
“Marge... Marge honey... that baby was very young, so it’s not like we had time to get attached to him or her...” Homer tried to comfort Marge in his own way. Marge cried even more.
“Oh that’s so sad!” Lisa said tearfully.
“Unfortunately, when Lisa was born Bart didn't like her one bit..." said Homer.
“I hate you!” said Toddler Bart to baby Lisa when she was ready to go home go start her life as a baby.
“And you thought she was a boy...” said Marge.
Homer is in hospital holding baby Lisa. He mistook her umbilical cord for a penis. “Awwww! A boy! And what a boy!”
“No Mr Simpson. She’s a beautiful healthy girl. That’s the umbilical cord...” said Dr Hibbert.
“D’oh!” Homer groaned.
Bart in the present laughed.
Things got worse for Bart. His Aunts didn't want him singing anymore.
Patty and Selma were doting over baby Lisa.
“Coochy coochy coo!” Selma cooed at baby Lisa.
“She’s adorable Marge!” said Patty. She breathed smoke from her cigarette over Lisa.
Baby Lisa coughed.
“Awwwww! She coughed!” Selma cooed.
“Hmmmmmm! Maybe you two shouldn’t smoke around the baby...” Marge sighed.
Bart tried to sing allouette.
“Allouette! Alla Oooooo eeeettteee!”
“Shut the hell up! We’re trying to admire the baby!” Patty told him off.
Bart went off sulking.
He got told off and put on the naughty stool for his mischief. Such as banging pots and pans.
“I am so great! I am so great!” Bart sings dressed in pots and pans bashing pans about while Marge has a headache and post pregnancy morning sickness. “Baaaart!” she yelled.
Some one put him on the naughty stool in the corner.
Trying to mail Lisa in the mailbox,
Ned arrived at the door holding Baby Lisa covered in stickers. “Well hi diddly ho! Homer! We found this little angel in the post box!”
“D’oh! That’s it! Sit in the corner!” Homer shouted at Bart.
And at one point he even shaved off her hair.
Marge saw Lisa had been shaved and screamed horribly.
"Ha! Shaved off her hair!" Oscar giggles.
"Oscar that's not funny..." Marge sighed.
“Things weren’t swell for Lisa either.” Marge narrated.
One day Lisa had learnt to walk and was toddling about in a diaper. D’awwwwwww!
“Homer look! Lisa’s taking her first steps!” said Marge.
Homer was too busy watching the football. Lisa then toddled and stumbled about in front of the TV and gurgled for attention.
Homer just picked her up and put her gently down on the carpet away from the TV.
Baby Lisa sighed sadly.
“That’s Dad for ya...” Bart narrated.
“Shut up boy...” said Homer.
Then Lisa at lunch in her high chair was trying to speak.
“Ma ma ma...”
“Gasp! Homer! Lisa’s trying to say her first words!” Marge gasped proudly.
Homer was strangling toddler Bart again. “Marge I’m rather busy here!”
“(Toddler Bart gasping and wheezing from being strangled.)”
And as if her Dad ignoring her was bad enough there was her favourite cartoon character the Curious Bear Cub from The Happy Little Elves.
Baby Lisa was cooing and clapping while watching The Happy Little Elves.
Suddenly the Curious Bear Cub smooshed his big wet shiny green nose into the camera.
Baby Lisa grimaced as she wet her diaper from childish obsessions with big shiny cartoon noses.
Eventually Bart has enough and packs his stuff to leave home. Lisa crawls into his room.
"Leave me alone! I don't like you!" Bart groans. He goes to leave when Lisa says her first word.
"What did you say?"
"Holy moly! Mom! Dad!" He takes Lisa to Marge and Homer.
"Listen! She can talk!"
"Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!" Lisa repeats.
"Well whattya know. She must really think you're special that you're her first word!" Marge explains.
"Lisa, say Daddy." Homer tries to get her to address him.
"Homer." Lisa replies.
"D'oh!" Homer groans. Bart and Lisa giggle.
"And that's the end." Marge ends the story.
"That was the sappiest story ever! I'm gonna puke!" Oscar goes off to be sick somewhere.
The Simpsons sighed.
”He has a point.” said Bart.
Nine years ago.
Bart's in his playpen when Baby Oscar comes to visit. He just looks like Oscar as a baby and normally just wears a diaper.
"Who are you?" Bart narrows his eyes at Oscar who is sucking a pacifier.
“Anyway that’s the story of Lisa’s first word. You two still had your gripes. But at the same time. Loved each other in a way.
”Yeah right...” Bart said in disbelief.
”It’s true!” said Marge.
In the past.
Homer was woken up by the baby cooing.
”Sun! Sun! Sun! Sun!” Baby Lisa in her crib yelled as she stood in her crib wearing a diaper pointing at the sun.
”Hmmmmmm! Homer. The baby is awake.” Marge smiled proudly.
Homer sighed and got up to see to Lisa.
He found her still pointing out the window at the morning sun and saying “Sun! Sun! Sun!”
Homer smiled and picked up his baby daughter and saw to her. Ie changed her diaper probably etc.
Baby Bart wearing orange Krusty pyjamas had drawn something. However Homer was busy playing with Lisa. Baby Bart frowned and jabbed Homer’s foot with a sharp pencil.
”Ow!” Homer whined.