Kamp Krusty Bart and Lisa go to Krusty's summer camp. However it turns out to not be as fun as they hoped.
Plot[]
It's summer break and Homer promises to take the kids to Kamp Krusty if they get good grades. Bart, in a dream gets bad grades from Mrs Krabappel. F minuses.
“But Mrs Krabappel. If I don’t get at least a C average I won’t be allowed to go to Kamp Krusty.” Bart explained.
“Well... It wouldn’t be very fair to the other children but okay.” said Krabappel as she changed his grades to all Cs. Yeah you can tell this is obviously a dream or something is very, very weird...
“Much obliged doll...” said Bart slapping her butt.
“Oh!” Krabappel squealed. “I’m gonna miss you most of all Bart.” Uh...
Skinner then has a message for the class over the speakers. “Children, it’s the last day of school. Get out your tools of destruction!”
The kids get out various things such as Nelson taking out from his desk a flamethrower and Bart dressed in his army clothes carrying an assault rifle! Cool! They end up destroying the school.
“Someone burn these permanent records!” said Skinner.
.....
Bart was singing in his sleep. Homer woke him up for school.
Bart reluctantly got up.
“I dreamt it was the last day of school.” said Bart.
“Well, you’re in luck, boy, because it is!” said Homer pointing to a calendar. It was the final day of summer term.
“Well, I’ll be.” said Bart joyful that it was the last day of school. “How do I know this isn’t just part of a wonderful dream...”
Homer slapped the back of his head.
“Ow! You know some people pinch to wake someone...” said Bart annoyed at Homer for slapping him upside the head.
Everyone was in the kitchen eating breakfast rather rudely when Marge reminded Homer of something.
“Homer didn’t you promise the kids something?’ Marge asked:
“Oh yeah. When your eighteen get outta here!” said Homer.
“No...” Marge sighed.
“Dad you promised us if we got at least straight Cs we could both go to Kamp Krusty.” said Lisa. “Not to use false modesty but you’re looking at one happy camper!”
“Just remember Dad, our class has a new grading system. D, B, A, C.” said Bart.
“Now Bart we had a deal. I wouldn’t be any sort of father if I let you go to Kamp Krusty with Ds.” said Homer.
“But Dad.” Bart whined.
“I’m sorry son, but somethings you have to work hard for.” said Homer. “Now pipe down they’re reading the lottery numbers.”
The radio reads out the numbers. “The winning numbers are: seventeen, thirty two...”
“D’oh!” Homer groaned.
“Seven.” said the radio.
“D’oh!”
“Eight.”
“Woohoo!” Homer got one matching number.
“Forty two.” Was the last number.
“D’oh!” yelled Homer.
Marge went Hrrrrrm.
Oscar came downstairs.
"Oh the kid who does what he wants anyway, so there's no incentive..." Lisa sighed.
Marge had an idea.
"Oz, I know you're going to camp anyway but. If you get good grades we'll pay for your ticket on the bus. If you don't. Well you'll have to walk..." said Marge.
"I need the exercise." said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
...
In the morning Skinner instructed everyone to empty their lockers and throw away any rubbish in them.
“Straight into the waste paper basket, children!” said Skinner.
Bart looked in his locker. Inside was a plant pot with mushrooms growing in it, some gym socks, a banana skin, bubblegum chewed up and stuck to the walls of his locker to go dry and hard... His slingshot Betsy.... A potato science experiment that had hone mouldy...
Bart put Betsy in his shorts pocket, threw away the banana skin and then smacked his mouldy gym socks against the lockers. They had gone hard... he folded them up into paper planes and threw them. The socks as paper planes flew off down the corridor.
Ace winced as Oscar emptied from his locker, plushies and packs of diapers.
At second grade miss Hoover gives the class their report cards and asks them to sit in silence. Lisa got straight A’s as usual.
“No, she didn’t! She threw a hissy fit over getting a B!” said Oscar.
“I’m perfect!!” Lisa screamed in class, demanding straight As.
Misd Hoover sighed.
......
In fourth Grade Bart was horrified to find he had gotten F minuses. Hoping that like his dream Krabappel would be understanding.
“Mrs Krabappel if I don’t get at least Cs I won’t be allowed to go to Kamp Krusty!” said Bart.
“Not my problem...” said Krabappel, ignoring him.
Bart groaned and buried his head in his arms.
In third grade the teacher was boring everyone by teaching about World War 2. The bell rang and Oscar was the first to get up.
“Wait! I haven’t told you who won!” said the teacher. Everyone froze.
“We did!” said the teacher. Everyone cheered.
On the bus ride home Bart cleverly altered his grades to A’s
“Nice try Bart, but could you have at least chose a more realistic grade...?” Lisa sighed.
“Says the know-it-all who threw a temper tantrum today because she didn’t get straight A’s...” said Oscar.
“Ms Hoover marked me down for being a clever clogs!” Lisa yelled. “That is so unfair!”
Homer saw Bart's report card and wasn’t happy he got greedy. “I couldn’t care less if you altered your grades but you had to get greedy...”
“I guess I can’t go...” Bart was sad.
Homer lets him go anyway because he'll be getting in the way of Homer's snuggle time with his wife, yeeeeuck! “Well... I wouldn’t want you mooch around the house all summer so okay you can go to Kamp Krusty...” said Homer.
“Aww thanks Dad! You’re the best!” said Bart. Homer stroked his hair messing it up.
“Now you’ve got small hands. Stick you arm under the lawn mower and get out the chunk of wood lodged in there...” said Homer.
Bart was about to do so but the lawn mower started up and grass shot out along with a piece of wood.
Never mind...” said Homer.
...
Marge was packing Bart’s stuff for summer camp. Uh I don’t know how he convinced her to let him go...
“Bart where’s your swimming trunks?” Marge asked.
“I figured the human body is a thing of beauty and we shouldn’t be ashamed of nudity... sure, I might offend a few uptight camp counselors...” said Bart.
“Bart, you’re not swimming naked...” Marge told him off and made him pack his swimming trunks.
Lisa was at the doctors asking for a ridiculous amount of vaccinations. Some of them were real diseases like German measles and some were silly made up illnesses like Hysterical pregnancy or Simpson’s Jaundice.
“I think we have a case of hypochondria. I suggest proscribing a wowwipop! Ahehehehe!” Dr Hibbert gave her a lollipop.
“Don’t patronize me, doc...” said Lisa.
Then back at the Simpsons Marge was packing Oscar's stuff.
"Hmmmmmm! Oscar you're packing a lot of packets of Huggies/Bambinos. (Diapers!) Um I don't think the camp permits Special little boys." said Marge.
"Then I'll make them..." said Oscar growling.
"Oz... Krusty doesn't want you prancing around in a diaper at his camp..." Bart winced.
...
The Simpsons were having their last dinner together before Bart and Lisa would go off to summer camp. Marge was crying. “I promised I wouldn’t cry... (sobs)”
“Hey that’s my pickle, man!” Bart was annoyed Homer took his pickle.
“I don’t see your name on it!” said Homer:
“Oh, yeah?” said Bart, before licking the pickle.
Homer dropped the pickle in Bart’s glass of milk. “Check and mate!”
Bart admired his response. “Always one step ahead of me...”
The next day all the kids were being put on the bus to Kamp Krusty.
“So Martin, ready for image improvement camp?” Martin’s dad asked him.
“Oh father spare me the euphemisms! We all know you’re sending me off to fat camp! Well say goodbye to your darling little butterball!” Martin ranted.
“Martin, please! Not in front of everyone!” his dad groaned.
"I'm fat! I get it!" Martin said loudly and annoyed.
“Fat camp?! Ha!” Oscar laughed as he got on the bus to camp.
Marge was saying goodbye to Bart and Lisa as the bus was leaving.
“Uh, while I’m away don’t look in my closet. In fact stay out of my room altogether!” said Bart.
“Remember Lisa, leaves of three, let them be.” said Marge.
“And Leaves of four, eat some more! Ha!” said Homer.
“If the pets die while I’m away, don’t replace them!” I’ll know!” said Lisa as the bus left.
“Hehehe! Poor little Lisa! Our little princess will never know we replaced Snowball II five times after I accidentally ran over her and Bart’s bike...” said Homer.
“It was nice of the crazy cat lady to give away one of her cats.” said Marge.
Crazy cat lady screamed gibberish and ranted and raved as she threw cats.
After bus was long gone. The parents suddenly took out bottles of champagne and glasses and celebrated. Ha!
...
They're dropped off only to find Krusty is absent and that Mr Black is in charge for time being having inserted himself saying his name over Krusty's recording in case of his absence.
"(Krusty saying something)"
"Mr Black." Would say a short recording dubbed in by Mr Black.
For some reason Krusty was wearing a raccoon skin hat like Davy Crockett. Cool!
Verne Brown from Back to the Future winced.
Mr Black also announces that the bullies will be helping to run the camp. Jimbo and the gang make threatening gestures to scare the others.
“Okay, we’re in charge, dweebs! Anyone got a problem with that?” Jimbo asked.
Wendell coughed.
“That’s it! Take him round the back of cafeteria!” Jimbo ordered his friends to take Wendell to be beaten up.
"Gladly!" Nelson responded as he, Dolph and Kerney yanked the poor, frail boy off his feet.
......
Meanwhile Homer and Marge got frisky in the shower. Yeeeeuck!
Marge giggled as Homer purred and got in the shower with her.
“Say dear. Now that kids are off at summer camp and Maggie is at Patty and Selma’s...”
Maggie is at Patty and Selma’s flat. She’s lying on the table in the middle of a diaper change.
“Maggie finish changing yourself!” said Patty as she was too busy watching TV and smoking with Selma.
Maggie taped up her diaper upon herself.
“They grow up so fast...” said Selma.
....
Back to Homer and Marge’s conversation. “I was thinking it would be safe to let Hugo down from the attic for a few days.” said Marge.
“Okay fine... but he has to stay indoors! And no visitors!” said Homer.
Plot 2[]
During the kids time there, the camp is miserable. The bullies showed their sleeping quarters, an old abandoned chicken barn with some chickens still inside.
"Mwuhahahaha!" Young Link laughed evilly.
"No Link! Leave the chickens alone..." Oscar sighed.
“Okay, we’re chasing some skirt at the lake, so lights out, dweebs!” said Kerney, shutting the kids in the barn.
“This seems a little rustic...” said Lisa.
“I’m not worried. As long as it has the Krusty seal of approval, it’s safe.” said Bart rubbing some dust off of a Krusty logo stuck on a bed.
....
Meanwhile, Krusty burnt his finger on a Krusty lamp.
“Yeeeowch!” Krusty yelled.
“Oops, sorry forgot to mention that lamp gets extremely hot when left plugged in.” said a man.
“Eh... everything else looks fine...” said Krusty, as the camera panned over several malfunctioning Krusty products. “Now I have to get packing for Wimbledon.”
....
Meanwhile at seven forty two Evergreen Terrace, Homer was letting Hugo out of the attic. “Okay, stretch your legs round the house, rat boy.” said Homer. Hugo gnawed a wall. “Maybe I should just install a giant hamster wheel.”
“Hugo, don’t gnaw the walls...” said Marge.
...
At the decrepit chicken barn lodgings.
Chickens squawking and clucking with fright.
"Link! Stop tormenting the chickens! Milhouse yelled.
Bart winced.
"Hey look! This chicken has babies." said Richard. A mother hen had chicke.
Oscar had that demented look again as his pupils shrank and his lips quivered.
"Oh no..." Bart groaned.
"Haaaaaaaaawwwwwww! Chicky chickies!" Oscar squealed obsessed with chicks.
Bart groaned.
Later everyone decided to go to bed.
”Bart, I can’t sleep.” said Lisa.
”None of us can Lisa.” said Bart curled up in a corner hugging his Krusty doll.
”I’m afraid we will die!” said Lisa.
”Everyone dies some day or other, Lis.” said Bart.
”I meant soon!” said Lisa.
”Ooooooh...” said Bart hugging his Krusty doll.
At morning lecture with Mr Black. All the kids were sat on the logs.
"I'll take any questions you might have ... you? And then, um ... one more." said Mr Black as Milhouse put up his hand.
"Can we call you Uncle Blackie?" Milhouse asked.
Oscar cracked up laughing. In fact he literally screamed with laughter.
Bart glared at Milhouse.
"No. Last question." said Mr Black.
After meeting.
"Milhouse, what is wrong with you?! You can't call Mr Black Uncle Blackie!"
"Why not?!" Milhouse asked.
"Because it sounds racist!" Bart explained.
Oscar was still laughing hysterically.
At camp, the lake is polluted and the dock to get to the rowing boats was extremely unsafe and rickety with a dangerous current running under it and sharp rocks. Lisa was the first to try to get in the boat.
“This doesn’t look very safe...” said Lisa.
“Well, it ain’t getting any safer.” said Kerney.
The boat sunk and part of the pier collapsed.
.....
Everyone got a bowl of gruel for each meal and the bullies run a sweatshop making everyone sew wallets.
“Krusty brand imitation gruel. said Dolph. “Nine our of ten orphans can’t tell the difference.”
It’s still gruel, Dolph...
"This place is horrible Lis! This is the worst summer camp we've been too!" Bart groaned not wanting his gruel.
"Not exactly Bart." said Lisa.
"Oh yeah. There was that time we went to Camp Deadly that was run by Mr Burns's nephew Ironfist Burns." said Bart.
Oscar was playing a Gameboy.
After meals the kids made wallets in a sweatshop. Oscar accidentally stitched some leather to his arm with the electric sewing machine. “Uh I need to see the nurse.” Oscar chuckled sheepishly.
Kerney sighed and clicked his fingers and Oscar was dragged off somewhere and a pregnant Asian lady was brought in and she cried as she gave birth and the baby was put straight to work on the machines.
That evening everyone sat round the fire.
"Burn! Burn! Buuuuuurn then all!" Oscar was a little too fascinated in the fire.
"Well this isn't very festive guys..." said Gay purple Link from Four Swords Adventures.
"Don't we get to roast marshmallows?" Bart asked.
"Shut up and eat your pine cone!" Kearney snapped. Bart had a pine cone.
Peter Griffin as a boy whimpered as Oscar tried to force feed him a pine cone.
"Eat it!"
"No!"
"Eat it! It would amuse me!" Oscar demanded.
Young Peter Griffin reluctantly chewed the pine cone. His mouth was bleeding from it.
Then everyone has to go to bed early on uncomfortable hard beds.
Link attacked the chickens again.
And Oscar squealed at the baby chicks and played with them.
Meanwhile, the bullies and Mr Black had a luxury dinner and brandy and cigars in a warm log cabin.
“More brandy, Mr Black?” Kerney asked.
“To evil, gentlemen!” said Mr Black as they made a toast to evil and laughed evilly!
...
Lisa sneaks out and sends a letter home to Mom and Dad.
However, the letters back are intercepted by the bullies who read them and eat any gifts posted with them/or pocket it if it's money. They ate Bart and Lisa’s jelly bean cookies sent by their mother!
Then all the fat kids are locked away and poked and teased at by the bullies, while the other kids are put on exhausting marches in the rain.
“Where is Krusty...?” Bart sighed as they were whipped by Kerney.
“No talking!” Yelled Kerney as he whipped them.
"Haw-haw!" Nelson laughed.
Kearney whipped him.
”Ow!”
”No laughing!” said Kearney sharply.
....
Meanwhile at Wimbledon, Krusty was eating strawberries and cream while making odd faces that have become meme worthy now. He used to make such odd faces if you paused the TV.
“Mmmmmmm! Those were some great strawberries...” said Krusty making odd faces.
Then he started heckling Tim Henman and telling him to choke (get out during a volley basically).
“Can the harlequin in the fifth row please shut his mouth!” said the announcer.
Krusty gulped as everyone glared at him.
.......
When not being teased by the bullies, the fat kids were put on a gruelling boot camp ran by R Lee Erney from Full Metal Jacket.
“Nobody goes anywhere until I get ten push ups from this thanksgiving ham!” said the boot camp drill sergeant, addressing Martin as a thanksgiving ham. Martin was trying to do push ups.
One afternoon, Mr Black announces Krusty has returned. Though the clown actually is Barney dressed as Krusty.
“Hi kids! I’m your old pal Crunchy! Uuuurp!” He belched loudly.
“That’s it! I’ve been scorched by Krusty before! I got rapid heart beat from these Krusty brand vitamins! My Krusty calculator is missing a five and a Z! And Krusty’s autobiography was just a self serving mess with glaring omissions! But no more! We want Krusty! We want Krusty!”
The others have enough of this mutiny. They are surprisingly successful and scare off the bullies and Mr Black. While in the riot, Oscar takes Bart’s Krusty brand vitamins and clutches his chest in agony as he has a heart attack.
"I told you to break their spirits!" Mr Black yells furiously at Jimbo as they leave the camp.
...
Bart declares himself leader since he lead a successful mutiny, and the kids think he's cool. He promises to run the camp fairly until Krusty gets there and will also send out a message explaining to Krusty what went wrong, so he'll hurry back.
During the new regime, Bart puts on war paint, (paint from the art class) to look like a fierce tribal warrior and goes around camp with his shirt off and armed with a toy bow armed with flaming arrows.
Ralph eats all the gruel.
"Eeeeeew! How can you eat that?!" Lisa groans as Ralph eats it.
...
The news team led by Kent Brockman interview Bart. He explains what happened and that he is now in control of the camp. Meanwhile Marge and Homer are shocked by Bart's fierce demeanor as a tribal warrior.
"Well, tribal leader Bart Simpson. How do you feel about Kamp Krusty?" Kent asked him.
"It was crappy. Can I say crappy on this station?" said Bart.
"Um no..." said Kent.
"Well I'm saying it anyway. Crappy! Crappy! Crappy! Crap! Crap crap crap!" said Bart.
Kent made a cut his mike gesture to someone off screen.
Marge sighed and Homer growled at Bart cursing.
Eventually one evening Krusty arrives after seeing Bart's broadcast is deeply apologetic.
"Whoa! I'm so sorry kids. When I get my hands on that Mr Black...!" He shakes his fist thinking about what he's going to do to Mr Black.
"Krusty, you owe us several nights of fun and s'mores and campfire activities! But since I'm your biggest fan, I shall be merciful and relinquish my leadership to you in return for making up all those nights we suffered under Jimbo and his gang!" Bart explains as he gives up leadership to Krusty. Everyone cheers.
"Okay, okay... Alright, who's up for some campfire songs?!" Krusty sighs before enthusiastically taking charge of camp.
...
Krusty hires men to rebuild the camp and clean the lake. Meanwhile Bart tells him how a camper got eaten by a bear.
“Oh god!” Krusty was horrified.
“Well actually it just ate his hat.” said Bart.
“Oh. Was it a nice hat?” asked Krusty.
“Sorta.” said Bart.”
“Oh god!” cried Krusty.
The shacks are built. A boys dormitory decorated with Itchy and Scratchy and a girls dormitory decorated with ponies, unicorns and pinkness. They've also been refurbished on the inside with comfortable beds.
They then have montages of photos of them doing stuff, including a trip to Mexico. Bart is seen getting another real tattoo. The tattoo artist inks “Ay carunba!” across his chest. Oscar is nearby leaning on Bart’s chair looking smug.
“Oz, my parents are gonna kill me when I get home...” Bart sighed wondering how this scene happened.
“Then why did you get the tattoo...” Oscar sighed.
The cafeteria was also improved with better food and the sweatshop was shut down for good.
As for Mr Black and the bullies, we don't know what happened.
Plot 3[]
Anyway we start act 3 with the mysteries of Bart's locker...
Back in act 1 when Bart was emptying his locker. There was a purple recorder (The clarinet like instrument) in his locker.
"Um. I play the recorder..." said Bart.
"Haw Haw!" said Nelson.
In the tribal leaders chambers.
"The Horror! The horror!" Bart in tribal make up and shorts made an Apocalypse Now reference.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
Lisa winced.
"Okay so what other horrors happened while I was away." Krusty asked.
"Well there was that weird indoor hurricane one night..." said Bart.
Bart and Lisa and others clung desperately onto their bedposts as a whirlwind blew about.
"Lisa, I've been thinking it over. Next summer, I'm getting a job." said Bart clinging to his bed post.
Oscar lost his grip and flew away into the whirlwind screaming.
"Oscar!" Lisa yelled.
"Wheeeeee! I'm going to Oz!" Oscar cheered.
Bart winced.
Back in the present.
"Then the bullies confiscated things from us. Like Ralph's spare underwear...
After scaring away Nr Black and the bullies.
Bart was handing out things the bullies took.
"Kowalski."
"My brownies!" said a kid as Bart passed over a tray of brownies the bullies hadn't eaten. Unlike Lisa's cookies.
"Why does a kid have brownies..." Ace winced.
"Maybe they're pot brownies!" Oscar yelled.
"No Oz... A kid didn't smuggle in pot brownies..." Bart sighed.
"Wiggum."
"My spare underwear!" said Ralph.
"Eeeeeew! They made him wear the same underwear all this time?!" Oscar groaned.
"Crandall."
"My insulin!"
"Oz. Oscar..." Bart called for Oscar. Yes our Oscar...
"My insulin!" Oscar took his insulin supplies.
"I have no idea how you and Crandall are still alive..." said Bart.
"I have no idea either..." said Oscar.
The present.
Krusty cried.
"Then they made us eat gruel. Well Krusty imitation gruel." saud Bart.
A few weeks ago during the bully reign of terror. Lunch.
"Please sir, can I have some more?" Oliver Twist was there for some reason asking for more gruel.
"Moooooooore?!" Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney yelled.
"You know those three instead should be a fat nineteenth century guy." said Oscar.
The present.
"I have no idea how Oscar made an Oliver Twist reference back then." Bart winced.
