Homer Loves Flanders Homer takes the phrase Love Thy Neighbour way too seriously...
Plot
The Chalkboard gag is “I am not delightfully saucy.” Oscar then pours barbecue sauce on Bart who glares at him. Oscar licks Bart. “Mmmmmmm!” He says pleased with how he tastes.
The couch gag is two identical couches next to each other. The Simpsons split themselves in halves. The halve sit on each of the couches.
The episode starts at the Flanders house at eight thirty one morning. Ned’s old fashioned alarm clock rings. It is an old fashioned one with bells on top. Not the modern electronic ones with the painful shrill buzzing. Now that’s the way to start the day. Thought Ned as he tapped the alarm clock to stop it.
Ned and Maude got up in their still tucked up tightly bed. They stopped at two boys. That was enough for them. And I doubt Ned even had sexual thoughts, even about his wife.
“Good morning dear.” said Maude.
“Why yes it is a spiffaroony day today! Yesiroony!” said Ned painfully joyful. He kissed his wife and got up to do his morning routine.
“Ned did you clip Ann Landers yesterday.” Maude asked as Ned got ready.
“Ann Landers is such a sweet old dear!” said Ned joyfully.
“Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!” said Ned’s brain to himself.
“Shhhh!” Ned scolded his brain for being rude.
A drunken shadow was upon his mind. A reminder of that time he got tipsy on blackberry schnapps and insulted Ann Landers.
“Oh Neddy!” Maude lovingly hugged her husband.
Maude tidied up the already tidied Bed. As I explained a few paragraphs earlier Ned was simply incapable of sexual thoughts let alone doing the nasty so very little of the linen sheets were messed up.
”I’m sure they had “relations” at one point to have Rod and Todd...” Oscar commented via telepathy.
Yeah, um probably.
Maude then opened the curtains to let in the morning sunshine only to be greeted by a horrid sight.
Homer in his underwear putting out the garbage and scratching his butt. “Oh! She cried looking away in disgust.
To put her mind off this horrid image she opened the bathroom windows to hear the cute birds singing in the morning.
Only to have this delightful melody be drowned out by Bart’s asphyxiated gasps as Homer once again strangled him for something.
Ned gave his wife an affectionate peck on the cheek and embraced her in a hug. “Enjoy it while it lasts dear. Won’t be long before those darn diddly yarn Jehovah’s Witnesses come a knocking! Bless their poor misguided hearts.”
Meanwhile at the Simpsons. After getting dressed Homer looked out the windows of the front lounge to see Jehovah’s Witness’s arrive. He needed witness to explain to Dr Henry Jones that his name is Jehovah not Iehouha. Stupid letter tiles boobytrap...
“Yeah you dare come to my front door you annoying satanic-“ Homer grumbled, cursing under his breath as he watched then walk onto his driveway.
The male Jehovah’s Witness stopped his colleague. “Wait Clara. Maybe people don’t want to be bothered by us about joining our faith...”
The Jehovah’s Witnesses left. Homer sighed with relief.
“Phew! Now the only thing we get is Aunt Jemima’s Witnesses.” said Homer.
“Would you folks like some pancakes?” Aunt Jemima joyfully asked at the lounge windows.
“No thank you Aunt Jemima.” said Homer.
Meanwhile Ned and Maude went downstairs to their living room and Ned put on the family’s favourite CD. Annoying Christian songs such as “God said to Noah, build up that Arky Arky!” He sang along to the annoying songs as he minced happily, I don’t think straight Christian men mince, upstairs to wake up his two boys and Oscar who for some reason was sleeping over for some reason.
“Rise and shine boys! It’s a beautiful day today!” said Ned.
Rod and Todd woke up happily. Oscar rubbed his eyes sleepily as he got up.
“Sleep well Oscar?” Ned asked him.
“Well the early night doesn’t work if Rod and Todd sing all night. If I have to go to sleep to Rod singing “give me joy joy joy joy! Joy in my heart! Joy in my heart! I’ll flip!”
“Now turn that frown upside diddly down kiddo! It’s a beautiful day outside!” said Ned. “Now boys get dressed and hurry down for breakfast.”
The Flanders have a like for dull bland food, nothing exciting like butter or toppings. Perish the thought! Today was plain slices of bread and glasses of water. Ned even only liked as a treat, plain vanilla ice cream, no toppings like chocolate sauce or anything like that.
“Ugh? Well I’m going next door to the Simpsons to have a proper breakfast.” said Oscar crawling out of the kitchen window in his pyjamas and going to the Simpsons house.
“Oh dear.” said Maude.
...
At the Simpsons Oscar joined the Simpsons for breakfast coming through the kitchen door to the garden.
“Fed up with Casa Flanders boy?” Homer asked.
“Just their weird definition of breakfast.” said Oscar. He sat down and poured himself a bowl of sugary cereal, fruit loops to be precise, and some milk.
Bart was making faces at Lisa.
“Quit it Bart!”
He still made silly, grotesque faces.
“Quit it!”
Bart is pulling his mouth wide open with his fingers and sticking out his tongue. And pulling at his hair and going “Bleeeeeeeh!”
“Quit it!!” Lisa yelled loudly. “Mooooooooom! Bart’s pulling faces!”
“Bart stop pulling faces!” Marge told Bart off. “Homer! Speak to him!”
Homer was making faces at the dog and cat. “Hehehe! Stupid animals.” He turns back to the table to read his newspaper but the dog’s head and the cat’s head magically turn into Bart and Lisa’s heads respectively. “Uh?” Homer turns round to look at them. Then his face pops out of the back of his head like in El Viaje Misterioso De Jomer.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Homer screams and runs off.
“He said what now?” Bart asked.
“Please! Don’t brink back anymore crutches!” Marge yelled to Homer as he fled in terror at this insanity.
“This is indeed a disturbing universe.” said Maggie in a Darth Vader voice.
”Aaaaaaaagh! Darth Vader Maggie!” Oscar screamed.
Bart sweat dropped.
”Oscar would you like me to pour you some cereal?” Marge asked.
”Yes please, the Flanderses are having bread and butter for breakfast...” Oscar sighed.
Marge sighed. In stark contrast to the Flanders the Simpsons had rather gluttonous meals.
“Ok guys, extra-large serving of pancakes, strawberry jam and syrup is all ready.” Marge rested the plate of pancakes on the table.
”Ooooooooh!” said everyone except Homer hungrily. He ran off in hysterics remember?
Bart accidentally spilt his drink. “Oops.”
“You chocolate dipped banana elephant!" Oscar yelled as some sort of weird expletive.
”Oscar... no yelling gibberish at the breakfast table...” Marge sighed.
”Anyway we’re all going on a nature walk today.” said Lisa.
"Whoopdee freakin' do...” said Bart sighing sarcastically.
Lisa frowned at him.
”Oh goody! I can get sniffed by cartoon green bear cubs in the forest!” said Oscar.
”No Oz... you stay away from them Curious Bear Cubs...” Lisa sighed.
This isn't supposed to happen to me," Hugo moaned as he looked at his note Homer left on his plate saying “No food for you!”. "I'm a good guy. I shouldn't be treated like this!" Lisa was surprised by the undirected rancor in his words as the left his mouth.
”Aaaaaaaagggghhh! The Rancor!” Oscar screamed.
The Rancor from Return of the Jedi ate him.
”Okay that’s it! Oscar’s no longer allowed to write Rancor in the transcripts if he’s gonna be stupid about it!” Bart ranted frustrated.
The Rancor roared.
Anyway in canon Homer was upset he couldn’t get tickets to a football game but Ned had some so he thinks a waffle stuck to the ceiling is God...
”Oh why do you mock me lord?!” Homer cried.
”Homer that’s not God... that’s a waffle Bart stuck up there.” said Marge.
”Do not blaspheme the waffle god!!” Oscar yelled.
Marge sighed frustrated.
”Dad you ran away in hysterics and Oz, a Rancor just ate you...” Bart sighed.
Homer fled screaming in hysterics.
...
Meanwhile breakfast at the Flanders. Ned asked his family for suggestions of what they were going to do today on this fine Saturday morning. Ned offered an unexpected suggestion.
“I figured we could go down to the new racetrack today.” said Ned.
Rod and Todd gasped. “You mean the one with bright flags?”
“And where they give you soda water at the end of the race?”
“The very one!” said Ned happily.
The boys jumped with excitement and quickly finished their food.
The family already got dressed as Ned didn’t approve of having breakfast in your jammies regardless if it was a weekend and you were taking the day slowly.
“First thing in the morning for me is breakfast...” said Oscar. “So I’ll obviously be in my pyjamas...”
”At least ask Mom or your teddy bear creature to change your diaper first, before you come down for breakfast.... Eeeeew!” Bart groaned because Oscar’s diaper stank.
Oscar blushed embarrassed.
Anyway dressed and cleaned the Flanders went outside to find the car missing from the driveway.
“Oh my! The car is gone!” said Ned. He looked over at the Simpsons house. No the Simpsons would not have taken it he thought to himself. They were good people. Even if they had an odd habit of borrowing his things generously at inopportune moments and never giving them back.
”Oh no!” said Maude.
“Maude did you give the car to the Good Samaritans?” Ned asked.
“No dear. They were only supposed to take the linen and the used jigsaw puzzles.” said Maude.
“Oh my! Looks like we have a Subaru snatcher!” said Ned.
The Flanders were worried and frightened.
“Oh Neddy!” said Maude.
But how? Thought Ned. He retraced his steps that night. After work he pulled up on the drive. Parked and switched off the ignition. Continued filling out forms and paperwork for the Leftorium. Then got out taking the paperwork, forms, three boxes of Left is the new Right t shirts that only one customer bought. Oscar, because he wanted to annoy Lisa with it. Groceries, his driving bible and his lunch box before closing the car door. His wife saw him struggling so she opened the front door to let him in.
“I left the key in the ignition and the car unlocked! How could I be so-“ Ned gasped but was interrupted by Maude.
“Oh! I’m worried Neddy! First someone takes the coupon booklet out of our Sunday newspaper and now this? Pretty soon the whole neighbourhood will be overrun with hoodlums!” said Maude worried.
“Now lets not to be too quick to judge!” said Ned remaining optimistic. “Perhaps some unfortunate borrowed it to, oh, get to work so he could feed his family? Or take his pet to the vet?”
“Maybe a Good Samaritan decided to wash it for us?” Rod suggested.
“Yes quite so Rod.” said Ned shuffling his shoes against the gravel.
They’re so silly...
A few moments passed in silence. Ned had enjoyed his morning too much to let it be ruined by this spate of car theft. He felt compelled to hold on to the moment, no matter what happened.
“Oh what the hey? It’s a beautiful day out! Let’s not let a little grand theft auto lead to a grand theft weekend! Whaddaya say we take a nice long nature walk?” said Ned putting a positive spin on things.
“Hehehe! Grand Theft Auto...” said Oscar playing Grand Theft Auto on his games console.
(Machine gun firing and people screaming.)
“I’ll go get our hiking sticks!” said Maude nodding with agreement to Ned’s idea.
“Can we finally use the bug repellent?” Rod asked.
“Well the warning label did say eye irritant. Uh I think you boys are old enough to handle it.” said Bed.
“Yaaaaaay!” Rod and Todd cheered.
...
Meanwhile Homer drove about erratically in Ned’s car laughing maniacally with an unhinged look on his face from the result of the hallucinations he saw that morning.
”Ooooooooh! A new burger at Krusty’s! Mmmmmmmm! Clown food... wait! You can’t eat clowns! Stupid brain...”
Meanwhile at the Simpsons.
”Kids are you ready yet! We’re going out on a nature walk to get some fresh air!” said Marge.
”Oh good! Can I take Hugey?” Oscar asked.
”Hmmmmmm... no dear.” Marge sighed.
”I want Hugey!” Oscar shrieked petulantly.
Marge sighed.
The Flanderses made their way through Springfield’s nature reserve when the late morning calm was interrupted by some familiar voices. The Simpsons came down the same trail but from where the Flanderses were heading to.
“Dad?”
“Daaaaaad? Where are you?”
“Homie?”
Hugo growled and moaned in a creepy manner.
“Why hi diddly ho Neighbourimos!” said Ned cheerfully.
“Why good morning Ned!” said Marge. “Well unfortunately Homer isn’t here to say ‘Shut up stupid Flanders!’ But I suppose that’s a good thing.”
“Shut up stupid Flanders!” said a bush rustling.
“We’re trying time find our Dad. He ran off screaming from breakfast over something. I think Shelbyille spiked the tap water with LSD again. Because the walls started melting...” said Lisa.
“Maybe we should check that rustling bush that keeps yelling and muttering ‘Stupid Flanders!’?” Bart asked.
”Stupid Flanders...!” said the bush.
They all found Homer.
“Agh! Leave me alone!” Homer screamed.
“Homie it’s okay! You were just hallucinating!” said Marge.
“Yeah, we think Shelbyville put LSD in the drinking water again.” said Bart.
“Stupid Shelbyville! Who do they think they are!” Homer yelled.
The Simpsons and the Flanders walked about the nature preserve park. They had idle conversations, well at least the ones willing to stand the sight of one another did.
“Well this morning someone borrowed my car without my permission.” said Ned.
Homer laughed. “Oh that’s a real classic! Ahahahaha!”
Marge grumbled at him glaring furiously.
“Oh I mean what terrible news Ned! You can’t trust anyone these days!” said Homer insincerely.
“No I’m afraid not Homer.” said Ndd.
“Well I think appreciating Mother Nature and her wonderful gifts really takes your mind off it.” said Lisa. “Right guys?”
“Oh yeah, you really have to appreciate nature...” said Oscar letting a green cartoon bear cub from the Happy Little Elves sniff his crotch.
Lisa grimaced.
“Oh sure Sis!” said Bart firing a pebble with his slingshot at a grey squirrel. It squeaked and scurried up his blue shorts and bit him somewhere very delicate... “Yeeeeeeouch!” He cried in pain.
Everyone including the Flanders laughed at him.
Plot 2
The Flanders and the Simpsons stopped to set up camp.
“Now Homer I’m not just your neighbour but also your church buddy you can ask me anything! Preferably about church...” said Ned.
Homer groaned.
“Well what’s on your mind Homer, got anything to confess? Thought of anything naughty...” said Ned.
“Well... I once thought a waffle was God once...” said Homer.
In a flashback to the canon version of this episode Homer is annoyed Flanders got two tickets to a football game. “Oh why do you mock me Lord?!” Homer cried.
“Homer that’s not God! That’s just a waffle Bart stuck up there...” said Marge using a broom to knock down a stuck waffle. Homer caught it.
“I know I shouldn’t eat thee, but... Mmmmmmmm! Sacrilicious...” said Homer eating God as a waffle.
“Um okay...” said Ned confused.
Oscar did not like the idea of sleeping in the great outdoors. Well in a tent...
“Hey I am not sleeping in a tent where bugs and the boogeyman can get me.” sId Oscar.
“Aaaaagh! Don’t say boogeyman!” said Bart frightened.
“Sorry Bud.” Oscar apologised. “I expect four walls and a ceiling around me.” He conjured up a small log cabin and went inside.
“Hmmmmmm!” Marge grumbled at him not having a spirit for the great outdoors.
“Can I stay in Oscar’s log cabin Mom?” Bart asked.
“No!” said Marge annoyed.
Oscar looked about. Something was missing in his log cabin. “Of course! A TV. Powered by magic because there’s no electricity out here...” said Oscar conjuring up a magic TV. He put it on and sat on his comfortable bed to watch it.
“And playing this fine game of tossing the old pigskin this winter’s morning is our very own isotopes vs the Shelbyville Sharks!”
“Boooooo!” Oscar jeered the Sharks.
“And, oh it seems Gill from Streetfighter II is in the crowd but he doesn’t care whatever the weather is! What a trooper!” said the commentators. Gill from Streetfighter was shivering.
“Boring!” Oscar found sports boring and switched over.
“Hi! I’m Troy McClure live from Molokai Island!”
“We’re not just for lepers anymore!” said the locals.
Oscar screamed. “Aaaaaaagh! Lepers!”
“Now you folks may remember me from such movies as The erotic adventures of Hercules! And Dial M for Murderousness!” said Troy. “But tonight we have Angela Lansbury walking on hot coals! Yes that was an actual line from the Simpsons! (Season four episode nine Mr Plow.)
Angela Lansbury was walking on hot coals bear foot and groaning in pain.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
“And now Krusty the clown!” said Troy.
“Hooahahahaha!” Krusty laughed. “I’ll be played by Jimmy Smits!” He quipped and laughed.
“Will tonight face his toughest audience. Three Siberian tigers.” said Troy. Yes there’s tigers in Siberia...
“Simba get on the ball!” Krusty yelled at the tigers. They lunged at him and mauled him.
“Aghhhh! My jugular!” Krusty screamed.
Bart was horrified. “Krusty!” He cried.
“It’s a stunt double...” said Oscar.
“They’ll be chewing him for a while.” said Troy.
Bart was concerned for Krusty.
Oscar put on the Bumblebee man show.
“Ugh! Oscar this show is lame!” Bart groaned.
Bumblebee man was arrested by policemen. “Ay Ay Ay! La Policia!”
Oscar laughed.
“Oscar we’re doing arts and crafts! Are you gonna join us or be a wet blanket all weekend?” Marge asked.
“Awwww Marge! Alan Thicke is about to throw knives at Ricardo Montalban!” Oscar whined. “Wait a minute...” Ricardo Montalban was on his TV. “KHAAAAAAAAN!” Oscar screamed Khan! at his TV.
“I think he wants to sit this activity out Mom...” said Bart.
Marge sighed annoyed.
...
Eventually Oscar joined the nature walk because he could not be left alone. Everyone had to note what thy saw.
Oscar saw a cartoon grey squirrel with a big wet shiny black nose sniffing.
“I saw a squirrel.” said Oscar. “It was doing like this!” He did a squirrel impression of a squirrel scratching and chittering with its buck teeth.
“Um okay...” said Bart.
“Well I can’t find anything cool in this forest! Like a jabberwocky, or a Flandersnatch or a buck toothed teddy bear cub...” Homer whined.
“Hmmmph!” Teddy, Oscar’s living teddy bear glared at him.
“F-f-flandersnatch?” The Flanders stammered frightened.
“Now Ned and Maude... remember what the town’s nature guide explained. Shun the frumious Flandersnatch...” said Marge.
“Ah. Yessirooney Marge.” said Ned.
During the nature walk Homer opened up to Ned a bit more.
“And that’s where your RV fell off a cliff. Sorry about that. That’s where we camped... that’s where I fell in a muddy swamp and got mistaken for Bigfoot.
On the way home Ned and Homer were laughing and getting along like the best of friends.
Marge was very happy.
Bart wasn’t as he had an inkling this would mean seeing more of the Flanders.
”Don’t worry Bart. I have a feeling we’ll be back to normal with Dad yelling at the Flanders. I’d say say a few quick witted quips or catchphrases and hey presto. We’ll be back to normal next week.” said Lisa.
”Ay carumba!” Bart cheered.
”Exactly.” said Lisa.
At home in the living room.
“Aren’t the Flanders great?” said Homer.
“No they’re geeks.” said Bart.
“The Flanderses are not geeks!” said Homer. “Just for that you’re having a play date with Rod and Todd!”
“Noooooo!” Bart screamed.
...
At the Flanders Rod and Todd were printing newspaper articles on a printing press.
“Playtime is fun!” said Rod’s article.
“This is front page material!” said Todd. “Another successful issue of the Flanders Press.”
“Here’s my artics.” said Bart. Handing over his article.
“Extra! Extra! Todd Smells!” read the article headline.
“I don’t think this should be an article Bart...” said Rod.
“Where are you getting your information...” said Todd annoyed as he crossed his arms.
“Ha! He looks so annoyed that you told him he smells!” Oscar laughed.
Todd was very annoyed at Bart.
“How are you boys getting along?” Ned asked smiling.
”Bart told me I smell...” Todd groaned.
”Bart!!” Homer yelled.
Then it was bible quiz time, which the Flanders swatted as usual. Rod had just received a star for getting the answer right.
Oscar thought the serpent of Rehoboam was a Yugioh monster with nine thousand attack points.
”Oz you can’t get a Yugioh card with that many attack points...” said Bart.
Ned so disappointed in the Simpsons lack of religious knowledge despite that they attend Sunday School, that he dismissed them from the game to watch cartoons.
Unfortunately to Bart’s disgust the only channel not locked out was a Christian children’s channel with cartoons like Veggietales.
Oscar was engrossed in Veggietales and sung the Larry the cucumber song.
Bart winced as he heard Oscar singing along to Larry the cucumber.
The McGee and Me was on.
“I’m baaaaaaack!” said McGee.
”Stop turning Nick into a momma’s boy!” Oscar snapped.
”Stop turning Bart into a brat!” McGee retorted.
...
Things got worse with Homer’s love of Ned. He took them all to a picnic.
“Now stop that whining! Doesn’t the bible say love thy neighbour?” said Homer hugging Ned and stroking his head.
“Well um yes Homer but I don’t think it means-“ said Ned but Homer hushed him seductively.
Marge and Maude exchanged exasperated looks.
During the car ride Lisa reassured Bart that this was a phase and that Dad would be back to hating Ned again as usual.
”Hotdog!” Bart cheered.
Like their last picnic Homer put on his rapping Ronald Reagan tape.
“Well, well, well?” said the tape repeatedly.
“Hehehe! He did say well a lot!”
At the picnic camp they were staying at Homer helped Ned release his boat but told him to release it too early and it scratched against the concrete.
Ned whined as his pride and joy got scratched up.
”Okay. Let’s go sailing!” said Homer.
Homer wanted to go sailing in it as Ned looked quite upset that his boat was scratched up.
They took Rod and Todd water skiing.
“How’s my boys doing Homer?” Ned asked Homer.
“They’re doing fine.” said Homer. They were dragging two empty water skis.
At the picnic Maude once again had to remind Marge that her boys couldn’t have sugar.
“But...”
“No sugar!”
Meanwhile Rod and Todd miraculously turned up alive and well in time for Bart to offer them a pixie stick again.
“We can’t have sugar.” said Rod.
“There’s no sugar in pixie sticks.” said Bart.
They stupidly believed him and tried the pixie sherbet. It made them aggressive and they started beating each other up.
“Don’t hog it all smelly head!”
“Up yours fatty!”
They were fighting.
“Cooooool! Mwuhahahaha!” Bart laughed evilly.
At lunch Ned delivered a speech.
“Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse." said Ned.
Homer delivered one too before declaring a food fight. Everyone threw food at each other.
Marge and Lisa reluctantly joined in.
The Flanders has to leave because Rod got nachos in his eye some how.
Homer wanted to joy ride the boat again. Ned has no choice as he took it anyway. Ned frustrated prayed to God but Homer landed the boat on him. He screamed and just about leapt out of the way as it crushed his car.
“Homer! Quit goofing off! We have to go! Bart got shrimp in his eye!” said Marge nagging as Bart had an ice pack on his eye.
...
One day at Ned’s, Ned was playing basketball with the boys when Homer was acting like the terminator, the liquid metal one. By emerging from the bushes.
”Well hi diddly ho Homer!” said Ned.
”Wanna play mini golf Ned?” Homer asked holding golf clubs.
”Well-“ said Ned but another Homer arrived wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket carrying a shotgun.
”Come with me if you want to live.” said the jacket Homer.
Homer with golf clubs growled.
The Flanders and Motorcycle Homer drove off with Homer holding golf clubs copying the car chase scene from Terminator 2. “Neddy? Neddy!”
”Hasta la vista, Homie!” said leather jacket Homer shooting him.
”Oz no! We get it. Terminator reference...” Bart sighed.
”I wish God were alive to see this.” said Homer sitting there as the Flanders escaped.