Holidays of Future Passed: The Time team. My adaptation of the fourth episode of Erik Nikolaz’s Holidays of Future Passed series. It’s Cleatus Spuckler’s birthday. Picard wants to make it a good birthday because for some odd reason everyone hates him. Meanwhile there is a time travelling company called Deja Vu Agenency that Picard causes time travelling problems with and something involving Tony Robinson from Time Team for some reason and Baldrick...
The chalkboard gag is “Yes this storyline is still on going.”
The couch gag is The Simpsons as a mariachi band with maracas shaking them and dancing.
At a high tech skyscraper office building of a company called Deja Vu Agency the boss is showing a new recruit around on his first day and there is a mariachi band playing for some reason to entertain new recruits and guests.
”And this will be your office, oh and this is a chrono clicker. Keep this on you at all time. Do not lose it! It is very important and very dangerous in the wrong hands.” said the boss giving the new agent a small clicking device that allows him to time travel.
”Yes sir.” said the recruit. Who was known only as Deja Vu Agent 3630.
Erik did not describe any of the characters or even the location. Boooooo! Hisssssss!
Anyway, the boss being the much older man was a red faced portly man with a walrus moustache He looked at Agent 3630 and frowned. The boy was too tall and thin, why couldn’t he stand up straight? The taller younger man’s hair was in his face and he had spots on his face and greasy dull off white shirt. And take some pride in your appearance!
”You’ll like working here Knipe.” said the older man.
”Will I? Oh yes. Of course sir.” said Agent 3630.
The older man smiled resembling Dick Strawbridge. However inside he was infuriated by Knipe’s clumsy, messy appearance at a place of work on his first day! He had a feeling this young lad couldn’t be trusted with such dangerous time travelling equipment and would soon cause an accident. But he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and not let him know what he actually thought about him. “Well, those papers won’t write themselves boy! Hop to it! If you need me, I’ll be in my office.” The boss said beaming as he left. Knipe got straight down to work.
The unknown office of no set appearance because Erik did not explain what it looked like, looked very much like Black Mesa from Half Life except with out the aliens attacking or HECU marines shooting everyone and violating the Geneva Convention and committing mass murder of unarmed civilians. The offices had glass windows so they could be seen into from the corridors. The place had soda vending machines, green office lamps and electronic doors. Being a time travelling agency it worked in affiliation with the Time Police including such time detectives as Flint Hammerhead as he bought a soda from the vending machine and the testicle headed time police from Rick and Morty.
”No no no! I said after dolphins!” said a Testicle headed Time Cop Langolier.
”Man! Do you know how much time is after the dolphins?!” His colleague ranted.
The Chrono clickers make portals to anywhere in time and space like Rick Sanchez’s portal making gun.
Rick belched as he drank beer. Morty whined and called his grandfather by his name instead of Gramps or Brampa.
”Oh geez Rick! Etc etc... (Misplaced ethics and morales that have no place on their adventures where most of the time Morty is a drug mule...)”
Agent 3630 when his work for today required him to visit the Italian Renaissance shot his chrono clicker making a green portal and went in, sending himself back in time.
At Seven Forty Two, Evergreen Terrace, all the Simpsons were visiting Marge, Homer and their son Eric, the blue haired boy from everyone’s fan art. The blue haired boy wearing a red long sleeve shirt and cream shorts and sandals had the same smug and devious grin his older brother Bart always had when he was up to no good plotting naughty pranks. However he had not got himself into trouble yet. But his nephew Picard/Skippy had as Erik Nikolaz insisted everyone was cross with Picard today.
”Skippy, it is Cleatus’s birthday today and already you’re wrecking it for him!” Bart said cross with Picard/Skippy as everyone glared at the small boy who resembles Bart in a red cardigan like Simon Woosterfield’s with his spikes combed to one side.
”I’m sorry Dad, I didn’t mean to fly the flyable Lego space fighter into Cleatus’s cake...” said Picard as everyone glared at him.
”You owe Cleatus a big and thoughtful present. Big time!” said Bart annoyed at his eldest son.
”This company called Deja Vu Agency might be just the ticket.” said Hugo handing Bart a leaflet.
”Thanks bro. Well this’ll give you an idea Skippy, and don’t screw it up! Or you’ll be banned from playing with the shrink ray and riding in your Lego space fighter craft that can actually fly for a month!” Bart said to Picard/Skippy prodding his cute nose.
”Noooooo! I like it when your sons shrink themselves and ride in their Lego space fighter in their cute blue feeties every night! It’s cute!!” said Oscar demented.
”Oz, I’ve told you a zillion times! Stop finding my boys cute! It’s weird!” Bart sighed.
”But it is cute! And when they’re tiny I get to torment them with... booger time! Hehehehe!” Oscar’s living teddy bear creature Teddy said chuckling.
”Teddy stop stuffing Kirk and Picard up your nose when they shrink themselves with the shrink ray...” Bart sighed.
”Can the curious bear cub...” Oscar asked.
”No!” said Bart. Annoyed at his weirdness.
”Oz Time team is on...” said Hugo trying to distract him.
”Baldrick! Have you been eating dung again?!” Oscar yelled going off to watch Time Team.
Bart face palmed.
Zia immediately got out her laptop and plugged herself into it and went into a trance as her soul went into the ultra net.
”You still haven’t solved her internet addiction?” Bart asked.
”Nope...” Lisa sighed.
Oscar went to the lounge to watch Time Team. An archeological dig show hosted by Tony Robinson, aka Baldrick from Blackadder except unfortunately without being the bumbling, smelly manservant to Rowan Atkinson and being serious.
Oscar rolled his eyes as Tony Robinson was straight acting of doing a documentary instead of being funny and annoying Blackadder.
”Oi get off moi land! Oh bless my groats! We’ve got some Roman pottery fragments!” said a long haired guy with a funny farmer’s accent.
Oscar laughed hysterically. “Hehehehe! Stop it! That’s hilarious! That accent is clearly being put on!” He laughed.
”Baldrick! Are you doing a documentary on digging up artefacts from the past again!?” Blackadder asked.
”I have a cunning plan M’lord!” said Tony Robinson.
Hugh Laurie and Tim McInnery argued over who should be the silly character. Then Tim realised he hated being typecast as the silly character and left Blackadder only to return in Blackadder goes Forth as a serious character.
Then one of the archaeologists got a jousting lance stabbed into his eye and died! Yes this is true.
”Coooooool! Death!” Oscar cooed.
”Oz this is a documentary... a man actually died...” Hugo sighed.
Meanwhile, while Agent 3630 time travelled, he encounters Baldrick in the Elizabethan times.
”Baldrick! Are you eating dung again?!” Blackadder yelled.
Agent 3630 sweat dropped.
Elsewhere Erik put up the cast list. After the usual main stars, Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith, and reoccurring guest stars, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer and Maggie Roswell... (Maggie at Roswell would be hilarious...) He added Dee Bradley Baker. Rest assured you’ll be seeing a cameo from Klaus the talking goldfish, Wallaby Beetles aka Numbuh 4 or even... Mudboy!
”Mudboy is way too obscure... only you know who he is, author...” said Bart.
“Mudbooooooooy....” Oscar sung.
”It’s not Mudboy! Dee Bradley Baker is in the cast but not as Mudboy!” Erik ranted.
In a pen waiting for their scene was Numbuh 4 holding Klaus’s fish bowl and Mudboy picking his nose.
Although Dee might be voicing the dinosaur. Personally I want Mudboy or Numbuh 4....
Eric was playing soccer in the backyard with those soccer balls with pentagons on them that Oscar screams at. Suddenly Mudboy arrived and tossed globs of mud at him and laughed.
Eric grunted as he wiped the mud off of his face annoyed at the cartoon mud monster.
Everyone was still mad at Picard.
”Well I’m still mad at Bart!” Oscar snapped.
”Why?!” Bart asked.
”Because you punted me half way across several miles of jungle with Clownja’s hammer!” Oscar yelled.
”Because you were being moronically stupid and perverted! And attacking the Switchapillar with Shazam, Teddy, Clownjas and French chefs!” Bart ranted.
”And Cornholio....” said Oscar.
Bart sighed and softly cradled his head in his palm to show exasperation. Then he glared at his eldest son Picard.
”Look, you should be grateful I tried to help!” Oscar ranted.
”How is summoning nonsensical crap helpful?” Bart yelled at Oscar.
”You’re always screwing up during a Calendar holiday! Like when you ruined thanksgiving!” Homer said sharply to his grandson.
”I’m pretty sure that was Dad...” said Picard.
”No this was a different one where you were fighting with your brother.” said Homer.
”And don’t be a smart mouth at your Grampa!” Bart told Picard off.
”But Dad, you’re always being smart mouthed to Grampa...” said Picard.
”He’s right there, Bart.” said Homer.
”Dad! Don’t undermine me when I’m telling off my sons!” Bart whined.
”And there was that time you broke one of my model spaceships in bottles...” said Homer.
”Kallae kistnae....” Oscar rasped harshly.
”Oz no! Talking gibberish isn’t going to change my mind about stopping you and your teddy bear creature from tormenting my boys by shrinking them....” Bart sighed.
Teddy was stuffing a small Bart figurine up his left nostril with a cartoony splat.
Oscar winced and wet himself.
Eventually the special guest, Cleatus was arriving with Brandine and his many freaky children to his surprise birthday party.
”Brandine we need a bigger vehicle for the younguns...” said Cleatus.
”Now Cleatus you know we can’t afford that, what with me working for Uncle Ed again at the Dairy Queen....” said Brandine.
Picard got ready and went to Deju Vu Agency with his Grampa.
Agent 3630 explained all the agents could travel about through time on time travel tours and dinosaur safaris like in A Sound of Thunder by Bradbury.
“Yeah sure....” said Picard in disbelief.
”Don’t believe me er?” Agent 3630 replied smugly. He clicked his Chrono Clicker and a green portal opened and he went in it. He arrived five minutes ago.
”Ay carumba! There’s two of you! That’s impossible!” said Picard.
”No, I am myself from five minutes in the future.” said one copy of Agent 3630.
”And I’m the present version of myself. Or the real version of myself.” said the other copy.
”Coooool!” said Picard.
”Oh... so now you’re interested Sonny...” Agent 3630 said smirking.
”Doc, you’re asking about if you’re cool now from a boy who wears a tacky sleeveless nerd sweater...” Jimmy Van Houten asked rolling his eyes. Jimmy was a Milhouse looking a like boy except made entirely of balloons.
”Oh buzz off Jimmy! My mom makes me wear this!” Picard whined as he tugged at his red cardigan sweater.
Oscar sighed exasperated and poked Jimmy Van Houten with a pin. The boy made of balloons exploded with a bang.
”You killed him!” Picard cried.
”Now we do many time vacations and activities such as dinosaur safari and actually visiting the Renaissance...” said Agent 3630. Picard yawned bored.
At the Simpsons Oscar is asleep on the couch snoring loudly because Time Team bores him. Hugo sighed annoyed trying to enjoy the intellectual programme but Oscar was snoring loudly.
”I have a cunning plan Blackadder...” said Tony Robinson. But Oscar’s snoring drowned this out.
”Oz breath through your damn mouth!” Hugo yelled waking him.
”Boys... no raised voices.... the birthday boy, well not actually a boy anymore, more of a man is coming soon, and we’re going to give Cleatus the best birthday ever.” said Marge asking them to be civilised.
”I know.... Wallaby how are you getting on with inflating those balloons...” said Oscar to Numbuh 4.
”Nothing to difficult!” said Wallaby inhaling helium from the balloons to sound squeaky.
”Wallaby’s that’s very dangerous! Don’t do that!” Marge told Numbuh 4 off.
Kirk and Picard were playing video games in the rumpus room, Zia had plugged herself into the ultra net again. and Lisa compared herself to a tyrannical Prince Harry. Probably causing a scandal or having a scandalous interview with his wife Megan hosted by Oprah Winfrey.
”Oprah what does that scouter say about the penises on the Internet?” Nappa asked her.
”It’s over 9000 penises!” Oprah yelled.
”What 9000?! There’s no way that can be right!” said Nappa.
“Stop making stuff up about Prince Harry! Except for the Oprah interview. That actually will happen.” said Oscar. “Or has happened since we’re in the future.”
Eric came in from the backyard muddy.
”Eric! You’re treading mud inside! How did you get so filthy?” Marge asked sharply.
Mudboy...” Eric groaned, pointing outside where Mudboy was sliding around on his butt, using his mud to slip and slide about.
Wallaby was face palming because his brother Joey came in wearing just a diaper.
”Joey, it’s the future and you’re still wearing diapers?!” Wallaby sighed.
”Actually you two never aged. So you’re still 10 and Joey is still a baby...” said Oscar.
”Hausergeist!” Klaus the talking goldfish from American Dad yelled in faux German in a cartoonish German accent.
”German mad geniuses are funny...” Hugo laughed. Chuckling.
Eventually Cletus aka Cleto-Man arrived at the Simpsons as if these characters would actually interact in a friendly manner in canon. Well Bart’s in love with Mary Spuckler etc....
”Happy birthday!!” The Simpsons yelled jumping out at him and setting off party poppers and confetti.
Cletus jumped out of his skin but was happy the Simpsons remembered his birthday.
”Thank you kindly rich city folks! Zounds! A villain is causing trouble again!” said Cleato man.
Everyone looked at Superintendent Chalmers.
”Well don’t look at me! I’m not Dr Caligarus again!” said SuperIntendant Chalmers.
Picard redeemed himself by giving Cleatus a nice present. A vacation through time guided by Agent 3630.
“Our first destination is the prehistoric times for dinosaur safari and hunting. It’s a bit like the book A Sound of Thunder.” said Agent 3630.
”Oooooooh” Hugo said interested.
Bart and Picard yawned bored by the geeky reference.
”I feel I should see everyone else’s presents they kindly bought me Doctor Who.” said Cleato Man.
”I’m not the Doctor... I advertise time travelling vacations to the past for a company called Deja Vu Agency...” Agent 3630 sighed.
”Yes Cleatus. We don’t want Picard’s very thoughtful gift to overshadow everyone else’s too much.” said Marge.
Picard frowned at his Grandma.
”This one is from me.” Oscar gave Cleatus a present.
inside were a blue Megaman doll, a yellow Megaman doll and a red Megaman doll.
”Uh...” said Cleatus.
”So you can make the ultra Megaman.” said Oscar.
Eric Cartman punched him.
”Ow!” Oscar whined.
”I would have preferred a nice game of Ants in your Pants.” said Cleatus.
Cartman stormed off, furious and swearing.
In Agent 3630’s Office were campaign posters from the last general election when Obama won his second term. This is important because of the A sound of Thunder references.
They time travel back to the dinosaur times. Historically accurate dinosaur times so no cartoon cave men Oscar.
“Ahh... so intellectual and scientifically accurate... And cool!” said Hugo wearing a lab coat and glasses.
”I’m scared!” Lisa quivered as dinosaurs roared, pterodactyls flew overhead and Jim Carey as Count Olaf was doing his velociraptor impression.
Count Olaf doing his velociraptor impression.
”Don’t worry Lisa, you’re perfectly safe as long as you stick close to me and your family and don’t run off like that other guy...” said Agent 3630 as the protagonist of A Sound of Thunder was running about screaming and treading on butterflies.
They were on a designated path. Agent 3630 explained they must stay on it and not squash any butterflies or they would change the future. Obviously someone doesn’t listen and alters the future. Mmmmmm! Bradbury...
Oscar had summoned Dino, his baby chomby dinosaur monster. Dino was eating plants that grew on the path.
”Oscar can you not...” Agent 3630 warned.
”Dude I have to feed my pet dinosaur monster! Don’t worry I brought a poop-a-scoopa...” said Oscar holding a device for picking up dry animal poop.
A tyrannosaurus appeared. One of the characters from A Sound of Thunder got spooked and ran off the path and squashed a butterfly and changed the future.
The tyrannosaurus ate a lawyer who was sitting on a toilet.
”No Oz....” Bart groaned.
Then Agent 3630 explained to Picard hadn’t paid for the vacation.
”How much is it?” Homer asked.
”For a few trips through time... I’d say $1,000.” said Agent 3630.
The Simpsons fainted.
”I’m not paying that!” said Picard.
”Fine, I’ll send you all back home then...” said Agent 3630.
”No. I’ll have that!” Picard took his Chrono Clicker.
”No! No! No! You don’t understand! That device is very dangerous!” Agent 3630 lamented.
”Picard give that back now!” Bart told off his eldest son. But they were all suddenly sent through time. They ended up in different places in time. Bart and Lisa were in the medieval times, Homer and Cleatus were in Ancient China where Chalmers was the emperor of China and Agent 3630 and Eric ended up in the cowboy times. Picard remained in the dinosaur times where he mucked up time or caused a time paradox or something as another Picard arrived with a pallet swap/inverted colours.
”Who are you?” Picard asked.
”I am you from another universe. I am Dracip.” said Dracip.
”Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!” said Milhouse backwards while writing on a wall.
”Milhouse have I told you about writing on the wall!?” Kirk Ban Houten told Milhouse off.
Pink Floyd was also writing on the wall.
”Pink Floyd! What have I told you about writing on the wall!” Kirk told him off.
”Buzz off! I am doing an artsy punk stunt! Or shall I unleash my giant red and black hammers?!” Pink Floyd yelled.
Banksy was writing on the wall. Kirk Van Houten was about to speak but a frown from Banksy told him to shut his yap.
Bart and Lisa ended up in the medieval times and some how had to take part in a jousting tournament. Trust me, when ever characters visit the past someone makes them take part in a tournament. In this case the Dark Knight challenged Bart and Lisa and they probably couldn’t say no because he threatened to have them executed or something.
”Batman?!” Oscar screamed when he saw the Dark Knight.
”No Oz!” Bart whined.
”We should have gone with the Black Knight...” Lisa sighed.
”Tis only a flesh wound.” said Oscar quoting Monty Python.
”Or not...” Lisa sighed.
However they were coaxed not with threats but a grand prize of a cauldron of Butterfingers. Yes, there were Butterfingers some how in the medieval times.
”Mmmmmmmmm! Butterfingers...” Bart moaned and drooled.
”Bart...” Lisa sighed.
”No one lays a finger on my butterfinger.” Bart quipped with a smirk. The butterfingers felt magnetised towards him by some force but Oscar grabbed one as it was flying and yanked it back, trying to resist Bart’s powers to draw Butterfinger bars towards himself to stop others from eating them.
Dracip arrived followed by Picard and Oscar in Italian Renaissance clothes. Followed by agent 3630.
“Picard let go of that!” Bart yelled. Picaard continued holding the Chrono clicker...., a clicking sound and he vanished through time again, along with Dracip and Agent 3630.
Meanwhile in Ancient China Homer,Cleatus, Kirk/Jiff and Marge danced with Chalmers muttered to his assistant.
”Skinnnnnnnnnerr!!” said Chalmers to his assistant.
Yes sir?” Skinner replied.
“I grow bored of my dancers.” Said Chalmers.
”Which one of you is Gilbert Gottfried?” Cleatus asked. Because his eyes look like he constantly doing Chink eyes.
”I have a herniated cornea!” said Gilbert Gottfried.
Oscar arrived because he can be everywhere the story is set. Trapping him in the past won’t work.
”Oh China! Or in this time period, Yuezhi! Come on Teddy and Chin Kee!” said Oscar.
Teddy and Chin Kee the racist China man caricature arrived. Along with Oscar they all pulled at their eye lids to do China man impressions while wearing buck teeth, Teddy and Chin’s being their natural teeth of course. And Teddy and Oscar wore cymbals on their heads. Chin Kee was a,ready dressed in Qing dynasty clothes like a Chinese vampire.
”Skinnnnnner! I have never been so insulted! Seymour! Release the Chinese vampires!!” Emperor Chalmers of China yelled.
“Yes sir.” Seymour Skinner of Ancient China stammered as he pulled a lever. A wall opened and Jiangshis, or Chinese hopping vampires rushed out hopping about with their arms outstretched.
Oscar was in the dinosaur times alone, stroking Dino, his chomby and squeezing his big bulbous nose.
Then Oscar turned himself into a baby and toddled about.
”Mucky muck!” He gurgled wanting to find a big mud puddle or something mucky in the prehistoric times.
Dino sighed and seized the back of Oscar’s diaper in his mouth and pulled back as the baby boy tried to run off into danger.
Dracip fighting with Agent 3630 pushed him not the cowboy era. There was Rich Texans and Avery Texans. At the time they were in a dark gold mine.
”Yeehaaaaw!” The Rich Texans yelled with joy and fired their guns into the air.
”Ooooooooh! Hellloooooooo sailor!” said the Avery Texans in a camp manner.
”How can Avery be gay if he’s only ten years old...” asked Agent 3630.
Oscar and Eric caught up. Eric had a painting from the renaissance period.
”Eric! You have to give that back!” said Agent 3630.
”Leonardo Da Vinci gave it to me as a gift.” Eric Simpson lied.
Everyone Else arrived.
”Where are we?” Homer asked.
”When are we...” Agent 3630 corrected him.
”Shut up. That’s not clever or witty...” said Homer.
”We’re in the era of Cowboys and Indians.” said Hugo sighing.
”They are called Native Americans!” Lisa snapped.
”Actually giant prehistoric armadillos are the true natives...” said Hugo smirking.
Agent 3630 struggled with his torch to show light. Shining light as a beam emitted from his torch, especially reflecting off of Dino’s shiny bulbous snout.
”Oz you are obsessed with noses... if it’s not Teddy’s it’s Dino’s...” Bart sighed.
Agent 3930 explained Dracip will have to be destroyed because he’s a paradox.
”No? Picard whined.
”Picard you started this!” Bart snapped.
Everyone in the cowboy era was on a train heading towards a chasm, and something involving Back to the Future’s train.
Dracip and Agent 3630 were fighting over the Chrono Clicker
In the present posters for Obama as president were now for Mitt Romney.
”Oh goodness! No!” The Boss yelled. Mitt Romney being president started World War III. Probably. Aside from his magic underwear and him being a Republican is he that bad, Matt...?
In the Cowboy era, the Simpsons, Agent 3630, the Spucklers and the Van Houten left the gold mine and arrived in a nearby typical gunslinger and saloon town you see in John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies.
In fact Clint Eastwood as the Man with no name, John Wayne etc were in a gun duel.
Marty McFly punched a cowboy era ancestor of Biff.
”And Oscar killed your son Jimmy, Mr Van Houten.” said Picard.
”What?! Nooooooo!” Milhouse cried.
”He was made from balloons! He’s not even really alive!” Oscar ranted.
”Oz no! Don’t reference my weird balloon sculpture Milhouse thought was his son in Moonshine River...” Bart sighed.
In the present laser eyed mutant alligator men arrived and enslaved humanity.
”Oh god!” The boss cried.
And H G Wells in a time machine and Morlocks eating the beautiful people.
”Eat the beautiful people.” said Mitt Romney’s campaign poster.
”Oh god!” The boss cried.
The boss concerned brought back everyone.
”Awwwww! I wanted to see more Cowboys and hustling and rooting tooting...” Bart sighed.
”I wanted to eat Chinese food in China...” Homer whined.
”I wanted to go on one of my nonsensical mucky diaper adventures in the prehistoric times...” Oscar groaned.
”Well I’m sorry guys, but this brat ruined everything!” said Agent 3630 taking back his Chrono clicker.
”Snipe, what’s going on?, what the hell!” said the boss.
Agent 3639 explained everything.
”Then I better fix everything...” said the boss.
He fixed all the paradoxes, got rid if Dracip and called upon the testicle headed alien Langoliars. The testicle headed alien because they were annoyed at the Picard messing with time, they beat him an up.
”Don’t ever mess with time!” yelled the testicle headed time cops as they Beat up Picard.
”I vill mess with time! I vill!” Picard cried, bruised and bloody.
How are the Simpsons fine with Bart’s son being beaten up I don’t know...
”Yeah even I think that’s too far! Flint do something!” Oscar whined. “That’s Time Police brutality!”
”I’m sorry but Picard isn’t under my jurisdiction! He’s under theirs!” said Flint Hammerhead.
Agent 3630 went back to his office.
The Simpsons mortified frogmarched Picard home where Bart was furious with him. He banned Picard from riding in his Lego space fighter for a while.
”And you are grounded grounded grounded for X-Illion years!” said Bart.
”Stop that! GoAnimate triggers me!” Bubbles8218 yelled.
Oscar frowned and slapped a crow.
”Stop that!” Bubbles screamed in the writing studio as I laughed while writing about Oscar slapping crows.
”To be fair GoAnimate is pretty lame Oz...” said Homer.
Maggie and Maggie Jr were exploring the Ural Mountains when they were attacked by Pikachus.
“Pika pi!” said the pikachus.
Oscar was in the cowboy era riding the Doc Brown train with Jules and Verne. Verne needed the toilet.
”Live action Verne, that gesture looks really rude... just say you need the bathroom.
”I really need the bathroom!” Verne cried.
”No! I want to finish shooting this scene!” yelled the director.
Picard was sulking because he got in trouble. He sat in Bart’s old room playing with a Krusty doll.
”Ooooooooh... Oooooooh! Oooooooh! Krusty groaned.
That night as Bart tucked his boys into bed, they were wearing their cute blue feetie pyjamas. Teddy sniffed them. “Oz no! Stop letting your teddy bear creature sniff my boys!” Bart groaned tossing Teddy aside.
”But it’s cute?” said Oscar.
”No it’s not...” Bart sighed “Now just let Teddy sniff you, if you’re in to that thing...”
Oscar took Teddy and went to his room to play with him.
”Now Picard, if you behave I might end your ban early.” said Bart.
”Yes Dad...” said Picard/Skippy.
”G’Night Dad.” said Picard and Kirk.
As soon as Bart went downstairs Picard grinned deviously. “Dutch oven!” He yelled stuffing Kirk under the blanket and farting. Kirk whined and struggled.
The next morning Oscar was struggling with a Butterfinger as it was drawn towards Bart.
”No one can lay a finger on my Butterfinger, Oz.” said Bart.
”On Picard’s behaviour yesterday. Where was his mother in all of this?” Marge asked.
”Jenda? Oh she’s with her new husband/boyfriend Jerry...” Bart sighed.
A door appeared right in the middle of the kitchen.
”Oh yeah, the transporter system sends a facsimile of your front door of your house now...” said Bart.
”And what’s inside...” Lisa added.
Bart opened the door Jerry, a green alien was there.
”Hi Bart.” said Jerry the alien.
”What is it Jerry...?” Bart sighed.
”Jenda has the boys today.” said Jerry. “I’m taking them to the park.”
”Aaaaaaaagh! Alien!” Oscar screamed.
”No Oscar... and so what?! My wife is dating an alien life form...” said Bart.
Meanwhile in cowboy era, a terminator transporter orb with lightning opened up and an Agent 3630 was in it. However this one was evil, but hated people messing with time. He tracked the time footprints and void stuff left by the Simpsons time travelling all the way to what was left of Dracip.
”I exist! I exist!” Dracip ranted as he faded in and out of existence.
The Seventh Doctor scared the crap out of me with a cool dark speech while defeating a fire elemental in the story Afterlife.
There were time cop testicle headed monsters cleaning up time and time beavers eating things and people that don’t belong.
”You!” Evil Agent 3630 yelled.
”What of it?” Dracip asked.
”You do not belong! You cannot exist! In the name of time I will erase you!”
In the present Agent 3630 paid the Simpsons a visit.
”Is this about Picard?” Bart sighed.
”No, it’s about evil copies of myself travelling through time. Must dash!” Agent 3630 used his Chrono clicker to travel in time.
”Oh yeah, we have time travel devices from treehouse of Horror V and XIII! Let’s go Oz!” said Hugo. He travelled in time with the boom box time machine from Treehouse of Horror XIII.
They arrived to Evil Agent 3630 tying Dracip to the train tracks.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
”He’s a paradox, helping him would cause trouble...” said Hugo.
”Help! Help!” Lisa was in a cage somehow with the Dark Knight guarding it.
Evil Agent 3630 tossed his Chrono clicker into Emperor Chalmers’s mouth and this summoned a dinosaur who ate the Chinese emperor.
The dinosaur then held a conversation with a sentient volcano called George.
”Raaaaarw! Whatcha doing Mr Volcano?”
”Hello Tyrannosaurus Alan, I’m filling my water with volcanicity!” said George the volcano.
”No Oz!” Bart whined, having gone with them to keep Oscar from causing paradoxes etc.
On Bart’s all purpose phone watch he got a video call.
”Agent 3630? Is this about...” Bart sighed.
”Yes Bart, it’s about Picard. He’s ran away!” Marge cut in.
”Oh no!” said Bart. He was cross with Picard but didn’t hate him.
”And Gino Terwilliger has just broke out of prison!” said Agent 3630.
Bart stared blankly. “Why is that significant...?”
”Gino is Sideshow Bob’s half Italian son, remember...” Lisa sighed.
”Yes... and why is that important...” Bart asked.
”Bart, Sideshow Bob is too old and frail now to go after you or any of us to get at you! He retired and gave up his vendetta five years ago.” said Milhouse.
Bob with a beard and grey roots in his faded red dreadlocks lived in a lighthouse like in the end of Gone Boy.
”Gino took up and continued his father’s revenge schemes and reputation! He is really dangerous now that he’s grown up!” said Milhouse.
”He was pretty dangerous as a knife wielding baby...” said Oscar.
In this startling twist, Picard was wandering about Springfield, mostly sticking to his local businesss like the Kwik e mart and the arcade. He shivered, thinking he should have worn a coat while heading for shelter. Meanwhile a familiar dreadlocked silhouette stalked him as that Sideshow Bob Theme played.... Eep!
”Of course it cant possibly be me, because like the author said, I’m far too old to be chasing after Bart now...” said Elderly Bob enjoying his retirement.
”Oh and Milhouse has called the police and is wasting their time jabbering about Oscar murdering his weird sentient balloon child Jimmy.” said Agent 3639.
”Murderer! Murderer!” Milhouse chanted.
”Murderer!” Fizzie of Sunset Overdrive Voiced Clownja repeated several times like a parrot.
”Stop that! Weird Fizzie Voiced Clownja!” Oscar scolded the Clownja that is Voiced by Fizzie.
Meanwhile Oscar was typing up this episode when he was playing with the predictive text tool on his computer. He screamed with laughter when the option “Sideshow Bob Marley” came up.
”Oh hell no!” Bart winced.
Reggae music played as Bob Marley as Sideshow Bob Marley bursted in, through the wall between Bart’s room and Lisa’s room. “Your life is about to come to an abrupt end! Mon! Ay! (Kisses teeth) Let’s hurry dis ting! I have to go back to the 19th century and haunt Ebenezer Scrooge!” He was holding a machete. That had been recently sharpened.
Bart screamed and ran off.
”Mom!” He screamed.
Marge saw that Bob Marley as Sideshow Bob Marley was chasing him. “Oh lord!”
Bart wasn’t as athletic and nimble as he was as a child, he tripped and stumbled on a rug. “Oof! I really have to stop drinking...” he groaned. He quickly got up and dashed off as Sideshow Bob Marley caught up swinging his machete as One loooooove! One heeeeearrrrt! Boomed through the house.
Meanwhile Maggie and Maggie Jr fed up with being attacked by Pikachus while climbing the Ural Mountains teleported. They arrived at Roswell, Area 51. Hehehe! Maggie at Roswell... Maggie Roswell...
Miss Hoover rolled her eyes and sighed.
”Then Maggie suddenly died...” said an Osirian from Osiris IV in Futurama. Uh no... maybe in Eris’s fan fictions but not here...
At the Simpsons Sideshow Bob Marley was still chasing Bart while Reggae music was booming loudly.
”One looooooove! One heeeeeeeaaaaarrrtt! Let’s get together and feeeeeeel alright!”
”We’re jammin! Jammin! Jammin! Jammin! We know you like jammin too!”
“Buffalo soldier! In the heart of America!”
”Oz turn off that reggae music!” Homer yelled.
”I’m not playing that! Sideshow Bob Marley is!” said Oscar.
Picard was wandering the streets of Springfield avoiding the Kwik e mart because Cyber Snake as a Robocop cyborg with chaingun arms was attacking it again. Picard felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see the feared serial killer of Springfield Gino Terwilleger.
“Aaaaaaagh! Gino!” Picard screamed.
Gino laughed in a heavy Italian accent.
Meanwhile in the past Eric Simpson arrived to help his brother Hugo rescue Lisa.
”I’m sorry but she’s tainted with time energy. She must be destroyed.” said evil Agent 3930.
As well as Agents from Deja Vu Agency, there were testicle headed Langolias as time cops.
”Son of a mother Fuc- This is some serious paradoxical shit!” said a Langolia time cop.
Flint the time detective was there.
Flint grimaced at the fourth wall while carrying his dad as a hammer.
And to top it all off, Jean Claude Van Damne from Time Cop arrived!
”I’m still kicking, I must be on Broadway.” said Jean Claude Van Damne.
Then he liquid nitrogen froze a man’s arm off and shattered it. Then he made a man touch his past self and they merged horrifically together into a visceroid.
”See? This is what will happen if Dracip ever finds and touches Picard!” said Evil Agent 3630.
Oscar was running to roundhouse kick Evil Agent 3630 into Regular Agent 3630 but Hugo stopped him.
”No Oscar don’t be so reckless! You’ll be killed! Or worse, expelled.” said Hugo.
Oscar glared at the fourth wall.
That was actually me this time and not Alvin.