Holidays of Future Passed: Family Reunion Another instalment of this series. The Simpsons are celebrating Fourth of July and have every conceivable family member around, including, future, past and alternate selves. Oscar annoys Dana Simpson from CdsWalkthrough’s fanon by going “There is no Dana, only Zuul!” Ape Simpson, Grampa Abe as a strapping young gorilla from Treehouse of Horror XVI presumably visits from the gorilla hospital with or without vampirism from Vampire Dr Hibbert And Mooch Bart falls in love with a sexy alien lady and her mother?!
The chalkboard gag is “Obama is legally allowed to run for President as an American citizen.” A reference to that someone thought he was Kenyan. He was actually born in Honolulu in Hawaii, which is a state of America despite being a monarchy.
“Their last king died in the 1890s. Hawaii wasn’t a state until 1959...” said Hugo.
The couch gag is eyes floating in the dark. The Simpsons, eyeless turn the lights on and sit at where their eyes are floating and put them on their heads properly.
At 7 42 Evergreen Terrace The Simpsons are celebrating Fourth of July.
”I prefer May the fourth. Star Wars Day.” said Oscar. “May the fourth be with you!”
”Shut up Oz...” Homer sighed getting out some fireworks he bought last week from that weird alternate Apu from Little Pwamattasquamflimflamfgghhjygport. America’s crotch spot.
Baby Bart in just a White diaper crawling held up a lit Roman candle sparkling away and offered it to Homer.
Homer screamed and dropped his fireworks and took the Roman candle from Bart and tried to dispose of it.
Lisa came downstairs to witness a violent explosion from the kitchen and Homer scream in pain.
”I’m not gonna ask..” she sighed. “But I will ask this, Mom can I get on my soap box at the anniversary of our independence from Britain to protest how we took away freedom and independence from the natives? And how America isn’t truly free...”
“No! Certainly not! You’re not ruining another holiday with politics Lisa!” Marge scolded Lisa.
”Woooooo! Freedom!” Present Bart cheered.
”America’s freedom from the British, dear. Not an excuse to go out and do what you feel like. We’re having family members over...” Marge explained.
”I don’t why you yanks are celebrating. I hate this holiday! It’s a day of mourning for my people to lament over the loss of our glorious global empire!” Oscar ranted.
”Oz how can you be happy supporting a dictatorship...” Bart sighed.
”You poured our tea into the sea at a boat party in Boston!” Oscar ranted.
”Oz that was not what the Boston tea party was...” Hugo sighed.
”I want to break free!” Lisa wearing a protest placard protested.
”I want to breaaaaaak freeeeeeee!” Oscar sung Queen.
”Oh god! No!” Bart groaned.
“Anyway I hope your father’s irrational phobia of garden gnomes doesn’t put a damper on things.” said Marge.
Outside in the backyard Homer was setting up the fireworks computer.
”Fireworks detonation console goes here. Roman candles go there, fireworks buried here...”
Homer turned round and saw one of Oscar’s garden gnomes he decorated the backyard with to liven it up with. The tiny porcelain man with a beard and a red pointy hat stared at him with a scare chord. “Aaaaaaaagh! It’s so tacky and British! We Americans don’t decorate our yards with these things!!” Homer screamed.
”Yeah Mom, but I’m more concerned about Kyle Broflovski’s Mom Mrs Broflovski ruining things campaigning to ban fireworks again because she has to be a buzzkill and the fun police...” said Bart.
”How dare you! Mother knows best!” Shelia Broflovski yelled. “Ban all fireworks! They are dangerous to our children!” She yelled through a Bullhorn.
The Future from Holidays of Future Passed
Elderly Homer and Marge were getting ready to visit the past for the big family reunion.
”Okay Hugo, Chrono Clicker?” Homer asked.
”Check.” said Hugo.
”Potato salad?” Homer asked.
”Check!” said Hugo.
”Fireworks in case I forgot that year.” said Homer.
”Check.” said Hugo. “Should I have Lionel Hutz or whoever Matt replaced him with on speed file in case we end up in a time where Shelia Broflovski has succeeded in making fireworks illegal?” Hugo asked.
”Nah. That’ll only happen when pigs fly...” said Homer.
Spider Pig/Harry Plopper/Plopper was flying with little feathered wings. He was grunting and oinking.
”D’oh! Stupid future genetics! Okay that’ll only happen when Hell freezes over...” said Homer.
Satan arrived in a burst of Hellfire. He was shivering and wearing a scarf and woolly hat.
”Homer Simpson!” He roared. Homer screamed and shivered in fear. “Because you said when Hell freezes over, my central heating stopped working and Hell literally froze over!”
”I’m sorry!” Homer squeaked frightened.
”How about... That happening will be like getting blood from a stone...” said Hugo.
Ace the vampire tried to bite a hard stone. He broke his fangs. “Ow! My teeth!”
”That reminds me of when Tombi broke his fangs on a rock trying to chase a boar.” said Oscar.
”What is happening over there?!” Homer asked looking over at next door at the brown house.
”Aurora Borealis?” Oscar asked.
”Oh that’s the space time continuum getting messed up Dad, by all the different neighbours we’ve had living there...” said Hugo.
”Up yours Simpson!” Mr Winfield yelled as the Winfields glared at the Simpsons.
“Hi Homer! How’s Marge?” said Ruth.
”Doing well Ruth.” said Homer.
Sideshow Bob wearing Walt Warren’s face laughed maniacally.
Dan Gillick waved at Homer.
Terrance and Emily and their kids T Rex and Corduroy waved at Homer.
”Well at least next door at Ned’s it was alway Ned... except that time he declared bankruptcy...” said Bart,
”Yeah but he left to become a missionary so the DeGeorges live there now.” said Hugo.
Eric sighed and leaned over the fence watching his girlfriend Felicia. She smiled at him.
”Come on Eric... We have to get going...” said Homer.
Eric groaned petulantly like his older brother Bart would when he was a boy.
”I better get the boys.” said Bart. “Picard! Kirk! Come down here!”
In the present other weird characters started to arrive as the madness sets in.
”Mom! Dana’s still hogging the bathroom...” Flint from CdsWalkthrough’s canon still in his pyjamas whined.
”There is no Dana, only Zuul!!” Oscar said aloud in a demonic voice.
”Oz stop that... that’s not even remotely funny....” Bart groaned.
”Hello....” said Grampa unsure if he was in the right house.
”Yes Abe. It’s us! Marge Simpson and your son Homer.” said Marge.
”Hot diggity! I got the right house this time!” said Abe. “But I forgot my pants...” He had no trousers on...
And because the guy writing Prehistoric Park and Ooga Booga Land articles accidentally wrote Abe Simpson as Ape Simpson I decided Gorilla Abe from Treehouse of Horror XVI was visiting.
Abe as a gorilla swung in hooting. “Well I just got back to the gorilla hospital to keep tabs on my vampirism after Count Hibbert bit me.” said Gorilla Abe swinging about.
”Ahehehehe! Bleh!” said Dr Hibbert as a vampire.
Then the Simpsons as Manimals and the Simpsons as CGI animation characters arrived,
“I think the house is getting mighty crowded...” said Erik as James Bouvier arrived.
”I hope not, as I have to add all my silly characters!” said Oscar.
Alvinluvr annoyed one of the fanfiction writers because they yelled “Alviiiiiiiin!”
”An Alvin and the chipmunks gag... That’s real funny...” said Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. “And it’s just Electric Mayhem!”
The Simpsons and The Simpsons, from Earth-9999999999, who happen to be evil in that universe were in an old American temple built by early Americans, ie Olmecs.
”And I say, you’re a jerk!” said Homer to Earth-99999999999 Homer.
”Hmmmmm... What a cool looking old relic. I wonder if I should pick it up...” said Bart.
”Bart no!” Lisa saw he was going to touch things in a creepy old temple.
Bart touched the relic but a voice boomed out.
”Uh oh....” said Abu.
”You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now you’ll never see the light of daaaaaay!” The voice boomed.
The scary looking mural on the wall Bart was facing glowed green and a green phantasm of the monster it depicted float into Bart taking him over as he had green glowing eyes.
”Now this vessel is mine! At last! I can feel again! I liiiiive!” said the deep booming voice from Bart.
”Who are you?! And get out of Bart!” Oscar yelled.
”I am the Ancient One!! And No! I will not leave this vessel!” The Ancient One boomed.
”Get out of Bart or I’ll kick your ancient butt!” Oscar warned the ancient one.
And that was, um that for that universe until Erik expands on the Ancient one. Oh shoot he just he has. Ho hum...
In another universe, Universe X-665 or something. Maggie was climbing the Ural mountain range when pikachu’s attacked!
”Pi! Pika pi!” said a pikachu.
In another universe, Universe 66E or something. Homer was a spy. Well he did a Bond gun barrel couch gag. And one of his imaginary friends is the British spy Stradivarius Cain.
Spy Homer sung Duh duh duh doo doos to the James Bond theme while wearing a three piece suit.
In a present time period probably the main one. Gorilla Abe scooped up Baby Bart visiting from the past because I said so and swung about.
”Now listen young whipper snapper, I want the secret to man’s red flower, I’m tired of monkeying around! Oh oobee doooooo! I wanna be like yoooooouuuu ooooooh oooh! I wanna be like you, walk like you, talk like you, too!”
Baby Bart sat in his diaper gurgled wondering why his Grampa as a gorilla was singing songs from Disney’s Jungle Book and claiming he was King Louie.
In the Back yard Oscar laid out more Gnomes and a fish pond for them to fish at.
”Ah now that’s tasteful now eh Guvnor?” said Oscar slipping into cockney. “I have to stop doing that... we don’t all talk in that ear grating accent in Blighty....”
Homer screamed. “Oz! Garden gnomes are not a thing in American Front and Backyards! We think you lot are weird for decorating your yards with those things!!”
Eventually the Simpsons from the future arrived. Past Homer concerned and embarrassed about all the guests seeing Hugo tried to usher him upstairs.
”Return to the attic little monster face.” said Homer.
Oscar flashed his glowing red eyes at Homer in an evil glare. Homer screamed and left Hugo alone. “B-b-but in my time era he’s still-“ Homer stammered.
”I don’t care! In this time era you leave the Hugos alone!” Oscar snapped.
Baby Hugo found a book. The Great Gatsby, by Fitzgerald. And chewed on it because he was teething from his two big cartoon hippo like teeth. Which also reminded Oscar of Dale from Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers and Reuben from Lilo and Stitch.
”Oz I know my dad from 1980 is being a jerk, but don’t yell. Look I’ll put the Disney channel on.” said Bart putting the TV on.
”Oh cool! Lilo and Stitch!” Oscar cooed as he watched Disney cartoons.
”Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!” Retro Lisa from one of the pasts jabbered as she ate bacon, pig bacon. Because she was from before she became vegetarian.
Present Lisa winced.
”There’s a lot of, characters do random things... where’s the story?” Hugo asked.
You’re all celebrating Independence Day...
”Okay...” said Hugo. “Maybe we need drama, or conflict.”
Okay. Everything was going hunky dory with Oscar going “There is no Dana! Only Zuul!” at Dana Simpson. When suddenly...
”I am the Ancient one! Fear me!” yelled The Ancient one inside Bart from Earth 3.
”Bart! Stop scaring your sister!” Homer snapped.
”No you don’t get it! Bart’s possessed! Oh how can I forget?!” Oscar groaned.
Bart roared with glowing green eyes as a green scary phantasm floated above him.
”Okay here’s the duds on the ancient one, Oz...” said Erik. The green phantasm became a divine god like being, sorta like Jenovah/Yahweh except with red hair and none of the elitist “Only I’m the one true lord! Worship me or die!” Stuff.
“Apparently I’m God.” said the Ancient one. “Or the one that’s been listening to your prayers.”
Marge frowned. “You’re not God!”
“How do you know?!” The Ancient one through Bart snapped.
”Because you look nothing like him!” Marge replied.
”How would you know what God looks like... it’s not like he’s always visible!” said The Ancient one.
”Oh God always visits occasionally. Particularly in Halloween episodes where everyone dies and when Homer wouldn’t go to church!” said Oscar. “And he looks exactly how one would imagine the Lord. A giant wise old man with a white beard, white robes deep booming voice...”
“My voice is booming!” The ancient one shouted, rocking the Simpsons house.
”Yes but when you speak you sound like an angry deity or tomb guardian that just got woken up and is about to inflict holy wrath on tomb robbers. When the lord speaks in a mighty voice he sounds powerful but wise and restrained. He only has to raise his voice slightly to let you know he’s displeased.” said Oscar. “And he doesn’t possess people...”
”I’m sorry it was an accident. I was drawn in by the evil in Bart’s heart like dust sucked up by a vacuum cleaner.” said the ancient one.
The ancient one left Bart. Bart gasped, taking exhausted breaths. “Don’t ever do that again! You! You! Ancient dude!”
”The ancient one! Or God. Please just call me God.”
”You’re God...” Bart asked.
”Then I’m the Queen of Sheba...” said Bart in disbelief.
”Infidels!” The ancient one roared.
”Easy there big guy... You’re supposed to be benevolent...” said Erik.
”You claiming to be God is like South Park saying their god is that frog hippo squirrel elephant thing that strangely only permits Mormons into Heaven....” said Oscar. He has a zany theory. “Wait, You’re Lord Xenu aren’t you!?”
”Uh no... I’m God. The God...” said He ancient one.
”Noooo.... you’re Xenu and you possessed Bart because his actress is a naughty Scientologist!” Oscar winked at the fourth wall.
”Oz stop bring that up!” Bart yelled.
”Old Father Hubbard, looked in his cupboard to call the IRS on his phone! I say there! He laid bare, his devious ploy, to swindle them of taxes and misemploy... he said “By gum I’ve founded my own religion!” Oscar made up his own version of Old Mother Hubbard referencing Father L Ron Hubbard founding Scientology to avoid paying his taxes.
Bart throttled Oscar,
“Oz mocking Scientology is our thing...” Stan Marsh off stage as the Simpsons house interior was a film set...
”Yes but I doing this because I recently found out Nancy Cartwright is a Scientologist.” said Oscar.
Stan cracked up laughing. “Oh god! That’s hilarious! Bart you’re a Scientologist! Nahahahahaha!”
”Shut up! No I’m not! I’m Catholic!” said Bart annoyed.
”Well right now you’re possessed...” said Oscar.
”I told you I’ve left his body...” the Ancient one sighed.
Future, one of the many multiverses
Adult Bart, who in this time line is single or cheating on Jender, or even Mary Spuckler... was visiting an intergalactic bar to drink.
”Bart’s moon party in outer space! Doo doo doo doo and R2D2 is playing the bass!” Adult Bart as Mooch Bart sung as he sat in the bar, “One beer please.”
The alien bar tender with a trunk and multiple heads and uh five eyes... poured him a glass of beer with a foam head. Bart paid for his beer and drank it.
A sexy green alien lady walked past swinging her buxom butt. Bart thinking nothing of it, slapped her butt.
She gasped and saw him giving her bedroom eyes. She slapped him across the cheek.
Aliens drinking laughed.
”Okay here’s a request for the band, play Mos Eisely Cantina.” said the Bith aliens from Star Wars. The Cantina song played. Duh duh duh duh, nananananah duh!
Adult Oscar heavily drunk was dancing to it.
Adult Bart went home once last orders were called. However the alien chick who slapped him arrived making bedroom eyes and caressing him.
“I thought you were frigid and took my flirting as harassment like all women do these days...” Bart groaned. Butt slapping is harassment you chauvinistic pig!
“Come back to mine...” said the sexy alien lady.
Bart complied and had hot alien sex but then Alien lady’s mother was smitten with him. And elderly alien lady arrived in the bedroom. “Mmmmmmm! Mama like!”
In the present.
”And that’s how Garglaxon Simpson was born.” said Oscar freaking out Picard, Kirk and Bart Jr.
”Oz!” Living in the school Adult Bart yelled.
”Okay the food is ready.” said Homer. “And no I didn’t eat all of it like a gluttonous pig Oscar...” Everyone went out into the yard. “And the fireworks will be on soon.”
”But first the British, including myself in red coats will angrily shake our fists at you.” said Oscar. He was wearing Red Coats military uniform and stood with 18th century British Red Coats. They angrily shook their fists.
”How rotten! You impudent folks!”
”Well I never!” said the British.
The Simpsons, just the main five, rolled their eyes exasperated.
In the Fanfiction writers pen. One of the fanfiction writers wrote something called “The Simpsons: Equestria Girls.”
”No! Hell no! No! No! No!” Oscar ranted. “Don’t bring up those lame ponies that are strangely humans in that spinoff!”
”Oh put a sock in it Oz! What if I said the latest reboot of Care Bears was terrible?!” Lisa ranted.
”I’d agree with you. It is terrible! It’s CGI, like all cartoons are these days... and Baby Tugs and Hugs no longer wear nappies!! DIC or whoever owns them now, what is your problem with cartoon baby bears wearing nappies?! I draw Teddy wearing a nappy! Sometimes.” Oscar ranted. Teddy, his living teddy bear creature was wearing a simple cloth diaper with two knots either side.
”Probably because people find cartoon animals in diapers freaky, Oz. Like Baby Bear in Looney Tunes, who is a full grown bear wearing a diaper...” said Bart.
”I think he’s cute!” said Oscar.
The ancient one was there um celebrating Fourth of July. I uh have run out of steam with him.
Shelia Broflovski was protesting for the ban of fireworks.
”Fireworks are dangerous!” said Kyle’s Mom.
“Yeah and that giant carbon snake firework was totally safe, Shelia...” said Oscar.
”Stop undermining me! Marge support me here!” Shelia yelled.
”I can’t Shelia. Even I think your ban of fireworks is too far. People just want to have a fun Fourth of July...” said Marge.
Shelia stormed off. She stomped off angrily past Ape Simpson, Abe as a gorilla from Treehouse of Horror XVI.
Gorilla Abe was singing Oobee doo! I wanna be like yoooooouuu ooooh ooooh! From Disney’s Junglebook while holding baby Bart and eating bananas.
”That weird gorilla version of Dad, stop singing Disney songs! We have to pay for cameos!” said Homer. “Now make with the alcoholic hippo!”
“There is no alcoholic hippo!” Gorilla Abe sighed face palming as he securely but gently held Baby Bart.
”If Gorilla Grampa is here. Does that mean Jared Fogle Wiggum is?” Bart asked.
”Hell no! No! No freaking no!” Oscar ranted.
Marge had some food. “Well I must say this Fourth of July is going pleasantly. Despite Bart’s shenanigans.”
Bart put a frog down one of the alternate universe Lisa’s dresses.
”Baaaaaaart!” she yelled.
”Or Oscar’s 18th century British Red coats because he wants his empire back...” said Lisa.
Oscar and 18th century Red Coats shook their fists angrily.
”Or Dad’s irrational fear of garden gnomes.” said a Bart wearing glasses.
Homer was screaming at garden gnomes.
”Or Kyle’s Mom protesting for fireworks to be banned.” said Oscar dressed as a Red Coat soldier.
Shelia Broflovski was holding a protest sign explaining fireworks were dangerous and needed to be banned.
”Well hopefully Bart’s irrational fear of the name Bob won’t be an issue today.” said Hugo.
”It’s not irrational that I’m frightened of Sideshow Bob!” Bart whined.
”Yeah well what about that time Dad could finally afford a decent RV....” said Hugo.
”Howdy folks! The names Bob, Cowboy Bob that is!” said Cowboy Bob of Cowboy Bob’s RVs.
”Aaaaaaaagh! Cowboy Bob!” Bart screamed.
”Or when I took you to Jumanji...” said Oscar.
In Jumanji, Alan, Peter, Judy, Bart and Oscar encounter Tribal Bob of the Manjis.
”Uh oh. That’s Tribal Bon, leader the Manjis.” Peter explains as Tribal Bob jabbered and blew raspberries with his tongue.
”Aaaaaaaagh! Tribal Bob!” Bart screamed.
”Okay! Okay! I get it!” said Bart in the present.
Anyway I think Eric needs more screen time.
Baby Eric crawled about with a lit Roman candle in his mouth like he was a dog carrying a bone.
”Come on Eric. Give Daddy the exploding boom boom stick....” Homer asked nervously as he tried to get the Roman candle off of him.
Older Eric playing with his slingshot winced at the sight of himself as a baby being so reckless.
Eric aged eleven was drinking a soda and wearing red goggles in his hair like Oscar’s green goggles.
Eric as an adult was there eating a dill pickle. Mmmmmmmm.... Homer and Eric’s pickles....
Past. Nineteenth century Texas.
“Oh god, our episode never got finished and we’re stranded in the nineteenth century cowboy years!” Hugo yelled.
Agent 3630 as a time paradox visceroid roared.
”Okay that’s just freaky.” said Jean Claude Van Damne.
”It’s not so bad. I’m young enough to still find cowboys and Indians cool.” said Oscar dressed as a cowboy.
”Oz stop saying Indian!” Lisa tied up yelled.
”Silence!” The Dark Knight yelled.
”Okay medieval Batman...” said Oscar.
Hugo face palmed.
”You have a smart Aleck reference for everything, don’t you Oz...” Erik sighed.
In the present.
Cleto man arrived to the party late.
”Sorry I’m late, Rich city folks! Aunt Dia Betty got stuck in the door way.” said Cleto man.
“Let me pinch the kids’ cheeks!” said Dia-Betty. A fat southern woman.
”You’re not that late Cleatus. The fireworks haven’t started yet.” said Marge.
”I wonder if everyone will be inexplicably mad at Picard again.” said Oscar. “Oh wait we then got mad at him for a reason for messing up our holiday through time.”
Picard “Skippy” Simpson frowned.
”Has anyone seen Jimmy?” Milhouse asked.
”Up here Dad.” said a Milhouse like kid made of balloons tangled up with the party balloons that were decorating the house.
Oscar took out a crossbow and shot Jimmy Van Houten. He popped with a bang because he was made of balloons.
“Jimmy!” Milhouse cried.
”Oz stop referencing that...” Bart sighed. “Anyway I hope we don’t see any more of Sideshow Bob Marley or Gino Terwilliger...”
In the Future, Gino Terwilliger kidnapped Eric Simpson and tied him to a chair. He recited the weird slightly gay interrogation scene from Skyfall.
”Mommy was very bad.” said Grown up Gino Terwilliger, who looks pretty much like his Dad, Sideshow Bob except wearing crisp white suits and the heavily Italian accent.
”What makes you think this is my first time?” said James Bond teasing Silva over his obviously gay gestures. “Oh and I’m now Scottish but I’m blond, not ginger and don’t wear a kilt or have the outrageous Highlander accent...”
”So you’re Gordon Ramsay Scottish...” said Oscar tied to a chair.
”My Scottish fury comes out in my swearing.” said Gordon Ramsay.
”Okay people! The show is about to start! The best Simpsons Fourth of July ever!” said Homer.
”I still think we should have invited the Flanders...” Marge sighed.
”Marge stop going on about Flanders...” Homer sighed.
”I just hope Bart doesn’t muck everything up again.” said Punk Homer from the United federation of Homers.
”Crush him! In the name of Jebus!” said Pope Homer.
Homer sighed remembering when Bart was a baby he crawled about and offered him a lit Roman candle. Homer screamed for obvious reasons because his baby son was holding a lit firework.
A few years later when Bart was four he mucked about with Comic Book Guy’s fireworks detonator computer at a fireworks festival causing catastrophic explosions and scarring himself when a molten plastic cocktail sword scalded his hand. Leaving a distinct scar.
Jehovah and the Ancient one were fighting again. South Park’s hippo squirrel thing God observed the fight.
“Oz, where’s Dana?” Bart from CdsWalkthrough’s fanon asked.
”There is no Dana, only Zuul!” Oscar spoke in a demonic voice.
”Oz that’s not funny! Where’s Dana?!” Bart yelled annoyed.
’There is no Dana, only Zuul!!” Oscar roared taken over by Zuul.
”Um okay....” said Bart.
James Bouvier was there watching the fireworks because this is a joint idea Erik helped start this sub series, the Holidays of Future Passed saga. However Erik insisted Hugo was not part of it. Being a Halloween character. Well he is, so there! 😜. And at least he is real, sorta.
”Hugo is not in my canon. And neither is this episode.” said Erik.
It’s everyone’s canon though... Everyone is here, BlueKraid, Erik Nicholaz, AlvinLuvr, Electric mayhem, CdsWalkthrough, Simpson Animals, CGI Simpsons... Even that guy with the fixation on Homer clones yelling “No! Those are in Every Spring!”
Lots of Homers yell “No! Those are in every Spring!” Then Every Summer! Then Every Fall! Then Every Winter.
And the mind swapping with animals.
Bart winced. “Are you gonna go nuts too as well Oscar...”
”Well in this area penned off with museum ropes is Hoju, Gamblor, Larry Christmas, Justin Timberwolf, Tyrannosaurus Sex and Okra Winfrey.” said Oscar. Yes Oprah as a giant Okra with arms and legs. “And Sideshow Bob Marley and Rapist Bill Cosby.”
”Zip zop boopity bop! Here’s a roofie in your pop!” Bill Cosby tried to spike someone’s drink with a sleeping drug.
”He’s really not funny anymore now that everyone know he’s a rapist. So I’m just gonna reference it constantly.” said Oscar.
Dr Caligarus watching the fireworks saw something interesting. “Good lord what is happening over there?!”
”Um Aurora Borealis?” said Oscar.
”Uh! Aurora Borealis?! At this latitude, this time of year localised entirely in your neighbours back yard?!” Dr Caligarus said in disbelief.
”Um yes....” said Oscar.
”May I see it?” Dr Caligarus asked.
”Uh no...” said Oscar.
then the space time continuum sort of collapsed and threw them back to 1775 to 1783.
”Where are we?!” Dr Simpson asked.
”The battle of Lexington.” said Hugo.
”Can I be the history buff?” Lisa whined.
”Oh Good, because I’ve had to sit through year after year of you Americans rubbing your victory in my face! I am going to mess with time so that you lose! Now where’s Benedict Arnold...” Oscar stormed off.
”Oz no!” Bart whined.
”I’m here. But I am very busy. Inventing a new breakfast egg dish of poached eggs on muffins with Canadian bacon draped on top and hollandaise sauce.” said Benedict Arnold cooking what we will now in the present know as Eggs Benedict.
”You should call them fried Arnolds.” said Oscar.
”Uh no....” said Benedict Arnold.
”Anyway I’m here as an English man to help you betray America.” said Oscar.
After inventing Eggs Benedict. Benedict Arnold and Oscar found David Farnsworth, a traitorous ancestor of Professor Farnsworth.
Obviously Oscar’s plan to muck up history, by stealing on of the signal lamps so the Americans thought the British were arriving by sea and leading a land ambush, worked, because when everyone everyone ended up in the future’s present. America was ruled by British policemen, everyone dressed in Georgian era cloths and the Queen, Queen Elizabeth the VIII was visiting. Basically her regal highness looked like Elizabeth the first or the Red Queen from Disney’s through the looking glass crossed with Pennywise. She also had bad teeth and a grating British accent. And he nicked Hugo’s time travel return pad so the Simpsons could not fix time.
”Oz! Give that back, you little!” Hugo snapped.
”Oi lads and ladies! I’m your monarch gizzus a courtesy then! Or it’s off with your head!”
The Simpsons reluctantly complied.
”That’s more like it. Now your free to roam my kingdom! But, it is customary for a man of science to kiss the Queen!” said the Queen.
Professor Frink gulped.
Oscar shrugged and wouldn’t help the Simpsons. He went off to get lunch.
”Ah because my people now rule America, they have Judi Dench fish and chips restaurants!” said Oscar finding a Judi Dench Fish and Chips restaurant where Krusty Burger once stood.
Oscar went up to the drive through box that amusingly looked like Judi Dench’s face.
”Judi Dench’s fish and chips! Now free of mad fish disease!” said a Squeaky Voiced Teen.
”Hmmmmm....” Oscar pondered if he wanted fish and chips.
“Please order something! Ms Dench will beat us! She will!” The Squeaky Voiced Teen whined.
”Who are you talking to?!” Judi Dench yelled.
”Uh no one Ma’am!” said the Squeaky Voiced Teen.
”I’ll Ma’am you!” yelled Judi Dench.
Oscar winced as he could hear someone being beaten violently.
”Cor! Blimey! Oof!”
Meanwhile the Simpsons tried to find Oscar because he had Hugo’s return pad for brief one man hops back in time.
”Ow! You crowned my crown! Guards after them!” The Queen yelled because Frink head butted her or something.
The Simpsons ran faster not wanting to face execution.
”Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!” said British old fashioned police men chasing them.
Then suddenly a giant flying jellyfish appeared. No it wasn’t Tentacruel...
”That’s um.... something...” said Bart.
The giant jellyfish grumbled.
”Is it saying something?” Lisa asked.
”Yes, it’s the god jellyfish. It wants us to hide the trees.” said the fan fiction writer who makes those odd Homer clones...
”No! Those are in every Spring!” said an odd Homer clone.
”Um why...” Bart asked. “And from whom?”
”Um... the Lorax?” Hugo asked. Giving a silly answer.
Oscar was sat on a chair on a roof eating fish and chips.
”Oz give me back my return pad so we can fix the past...” Hugo said sharply. “You’ve had your fun...”
“No!” said Oscar being petulant.
”Oz don’t be a brat!” Hugo snapped.
”Fine... but the jellyfish says you have to hide the trees from the Lorax....” said Oscar.
”Uh... The Lorax was protesting the trees... I think you mean the Onceler...” said Lisa.
Season one episodes that didn’t make it.
In Homer Gets his Job Back, Mr Burns is left unattended by Smithers at mall. He sees a coin in the fountain.
”Charity?! What foolishness! Oh well, a fool and his money are soon departed!” Mr Burns tries to get some money from the charity fountain but falls in and drowns.
Homer still being a boot licker... “Oh my goodness! The boss!” Tries to save him.
”Oh hell no!” Future Homer wearing a La Forge visor and future clothes shoves Homer out of the way and forces Mr Burns under and drowns him.
”Author, I’m supposed to save him and get my job back...” said Homer. “From the time you got me fired in There's No Disgrace Like Home...”
Elsewhere Bart shortly after the episode Bart gets Expelled Is walking about the neighbourhood when he is run over, not by Mr Burns as in canon but by Principal Skinner!”
”Ye gods! I’ve killed Bart Simpson! Sure he aggravated me, but he didn’t deserve to die! Oh cruel merciless god! Take me instead!” Skinner cried.
”Okay.” said God and smited him.
Then in a deleted scene from Bart the Genius Bart pranked the school by turning the halls into a big ice rink so everyone had to go home.
”It’s like Braveheart on ice!” Willie cheered as he skated on the ice.
Homer and Oscar make Mr Burns loopy on ether so he won’t fire Homer again.
“Why it’s Pop n fresh! You delightful tub of goo! I know what I’m going to do to you!” said Mr Burns thinking Homer was Pop N Fresh and poked his belly.
Lisa took her family to a jazz restaurant at the canon ending of Moaning Lisa where she sung her Dad “Belongs in a zoo.”
”Hey!” Homer yelled.
In my fanon it ended up two episodes. One about Bart’s birthday but working up to one of his birthdays. And one about Lisa’s depression and Skinner going Norman Bates and killing his mother and dressing up as her to kill others...
”Coooool!” thought one of my many fans as I referenced Paycho.
Alternative Present where the British defeated America in the Revolutionary War
The Simpsons and Oscar following the god Jellyfish found the trees they needed to find. Along with the Lorax...
”I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!” said the Lorax.
”Yeah sure Wilford Brimley...” said Bart.
Lisa agreed they should take a pit stop from fixing the past to protect nature and help the Lorax. Oscar however wanted to turn the trees into...
”Those freaky raping trees from The Evil Dead but instead raping they put diapers on you and stick you in weretree slime! And cartoon squirrels with big wet shiny black noses sniff you!” said Oscar.
”Uh.... no.....” said Homer.
”There’s the traitors, your majesty!” said Sir Ian McKellen in a kilt.
”Please your omnipotence... have mercy!” Oscar begged as the Queen arrived.
”Oz no! No Phillips CDI memes!” Bart groaned.
”You shall not pass!” said Hugo.
”Or Lord of the Rings...” Bart sighed.
”Macbeth!” said Homer, a tree fell on Sir Ian McKellen and squashed him.
The Simpsons used this distraction to flee. And Homer head butted his way through the royal guards.
”You go Homer!” said Snap, Crackle and Pop.
”Thanks imaginary elves!” said Homer.
”Oh crumpets! They’re heading for the territory of my sister! The white queen!” said the red Queen aka Pennywise aka the Queen from Futurama. “Aka Queen Elizabeth II, aka Henrietta R Hippo aka the lizard queen!”
The Simpsons headed through Lorax’s forest.
The Onceler was there perpetuating my theory that because what little you see of him is green and furry, he is obviously the Grinch...
And Teddy bear-like Seussian bears ate marshmallows.
Oscar for some reason was a baby again wearing just a diaper.
”No Oz! We do not have time for your babyish diaper antics and teddy bears with big wet shiny black noses!” Bart whined.
”Anyway why do you hate Independence Day? Do you have a Napoleon complex or something Oz?” Hugo asked.
”No, I just don’t like you guys rubbing my face in it that your ancestors won the revolutionary war...” said Oscar. “I’m sorry I messed up history. But the only Independence Day I like is the one where Will Smith destroyed all those aliens in giant Oreo shaped flying saucers...” said Oscar.
”Oz that’s a sci-fi movie...” Bart groaned.
The teddy bear like bears that lived with the Lorax and his fluffy trees were eating marshmallows.
Then Seussian bees sting Bart’s nose.
”Ow! Gee I’m unlucky this adventure! I got possessed by the Ancient one, dated a hot alien babe only for her mother to fancy me! And...” Bart tried to think how else he was unlucky.
The god jellyfish that demanded they hide the trees stung him with its tentacles by whipping his butt.
”Ow!” Bart whined.
”And that giant jellyfish thing stung you...” said Oscar.
”Yes and that...” Bart groaned.
Bart to the Future
In this future Bart was a jobless mooch living with Ralph who magically, or through surgery grew locks of sandy brown hair.
”Bart we cannot pay this bill! Bad people will take housey house away!” said Ralph in a childish manner.
”I’m sorry Ralph but I was such a lazy bum all my life I dropped out of school and no one will hire me. And um I don’t think you can work with your special needs.” said Bart.
”Bart, special people can work and hold down jobs...” Ralph explained.
Lisa was the first heterosexual female president. The first female president was either a lesbian or they have had a homosexual female president yet... Also she was somehow after Trump but we now know Biden came after him.
”And now about that ghastly wall my predecessor built...” Lisa sighed.
Homer and Marge chewed virtual fudge and went on a treasure hunt trying to find Lincoln’s gold. It was a dumb metaphor about democracy and the willingness to fight for human rights.
Oscar was dismayed that he was dead in this timeline. His future self had been sent to the electric chair for several counts of homicide.
Hugo wasn’t mentioned at all.
Present Hugo growled.
But what canon didn’t explain was...
Maggie was an astronaut, and had a daughter.
Maggie was on the moon in an astronaut outfit.
”So? Matt from Digimon became an astronaut in the future...” said Oscar.
Matt and Gabumon were on the moon wearing astronaut suits.
“Well at least Picard didn’t mess with time this time.” said adult Bart.
Picard Simpson frowned at Oscar.
Baby Oscar stood there and let one of the Bar-baloot bears sniff his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar winced and wet his diaper.
”Oz no! I said no sappy baby stuff!” Bart whined annoyed at him.
Oz frowned and stood in a puddle of butterscotch or Scutterbotch. He got stuck in the gooey syrup. Stretchy rubbery cartoon sounds could be heard as he struggled.
Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.
”We aren’t even making any progress! Just dumb stuff!” Bart groaned.