High Class Marge At an outlet store in Ogdenville to buy a new Tv, after Grampa breaks it, Marge wanders off to find a Chanel suit accidentally down priced to 90 dollars. She buys it and when invited by an old school friend to a posh country club which causes her to start being uppity and nagging
The Simpsons are watching Bumblebee man eating some corn.
However he has a tooth ache.
"Ay Ay! El dolor de meulas!" Bumblebee man cries holding his mouth in pain.
The Simpsons laugh except Bart.
"Oy. This is muchas estupidio!" said Bart as he didn't like the Bumblebee man show.
"No it's not! It hilarious! He wanted that corn so much!" Homer laughed hysterically.
"I wanna see what's on the other broadcasts! Where's the oscillator?" Grampa got up and started mucking with the TV's antennae.
It messed up.
"No Grampa! No!" The kids cried.
"I'll just make an adjustment here..." Grampa said fiddling with something.
"Abe sit down!" Marge sighed.
"Bad Dad! Bad Dad! Homer yelled.
Grampa broke the TV and it went black.
The Simpsons screamed.
"Oh dear..." Grampa sighed.
The Simpsons dropped him off at his retirement home and went off somewhere.
"Don't worry kids. We're getting a new TV!” said Homer.
“Cool! Let’s go to that outlet store where they have a TV shaped like a dime!” said Bart.
“No let’s go to that eco-friendly store! They have TVs made from recycled garbage!” said Lisa.
“Kids we can’t afford to shop at a store with a gimmick! We’re going to Sharper Image!” said Marge.
The kids groaned.
They went to Sharper Image. A TV store ran by Raphael.
However, all of his TVs were too expensive. Even his cheapest when asked of was too expensive and it was like The Simpsons' old one!
"Hey I paid not even half that for the old model five hundred with bunny ears antennas!" Homer yelled.
"Hey I have a family to feed pally!," said Raphael.
Marge sighed. "I guess we'll just have to go to that outlet store in Ogdenville..." said Marge.
"Ogdenville?!" Homer screamed.
The Simpsons were trying to get him in the car but he resisted and fought them off.
"Ugh! Dad! Get in the car!" Bart grunted.
"No!" Homer yelled and broke free. He ran off and stole a mobility scooter off of an old lady and drove off.
"Oh great..." Bart sighed. "What is Dad's problem with Ogdenville?"
"Hmmmm! I don't know kids..." Marge sighed.
Marge took the kids to Ogdenville. There were Norwegian people everywhere. At an outlet store they looked at the cheap TVs and settled on one that just looked like their old one. Because it was the exact same model.
"Eh, we don't want anything to fancy. It just needs to be a TV." said Marge.
Then for some odd reason Lisa was looking through the clothes spinner.
"Lisa we're just here for a new TV." said Marge.
"But Mom! Look what I found!" Lisa found a Chanel suit.
"Oh my! Could it really be?!" Marge examined the suit. "It is! A real Chanel! Oh but I can't afford this..."
"Yes you can Mom! It's only $90!" said Lisa.
"Ninety dollars?!" Marge gasped.
"It would normally sell at two thousand three hundred!" Lisa explained.
Marge decided to try it on.
"Well um...." She was still unsure. "If it were a suit we could all wear."
"Mom you don't have to rationalise everything! Treat yourself once in a while." said Lisa.
"Oh I treat myself all the time! Why last week-" said Marge.
"Don't make me call Mr Flanders..." said Lisa.
Marge sighed. Ned had a habit of going "Oh! Spoil yourself!" Repeatedly. "Okay I will! It'll be good for the economy!"
Meanwhile Cletus found a revealing crop top for Brandine.
"Hey Brandine! You can wear this to work!" said Cletus.
"Oh Cletus. You know I have to wear what Dairy Queen gave me." said Brandine stating that she had to wear her uniform.
The Simpsons go home with their new TV and Marge's new suit. Homer is waiting for them.
"Don't bring any Ogdenville crap in here!" said Homer.
"Hmmmmm! Homer... You really need to get over this Ogdenville thing you have..." Marge sighed.
Marge was later admiring herself in the mirror while wearing her new Chanel suit.
"Oooooh!" said Homer. "Marge you look just Kennedy's wife!"
"Oh Homer! Wouldn't it be nice to wear this out to somewhere fancy?" Marge asked.
"Sperlock's cafeteria it is!" said Homer.
Marge sighed exasperated. "I meant somewhere nice like the theatre or the singing Sirloin..."
"Why even bother going out... we'll just end up back home again..." Homer sighed.
Someone is at the opera but it is just on TV as Marge in her Chanel suit is hoovering with the vacuum cleaner and grumbling.
The next day Marge went shopping at Apu's store wearing her Chanel suit.
"Mrs Simpson. May I say you are looking very wealthy today!" said Apu.
"Why thank you Apu!" said Marge giggling.
"May I interest you in impulse items from the cash register? Look at this crazy pen! Look at the craziness!" Apu tried to sell her a novelty pen.
Suddenly a lady came in and asked for some gasoline. "Attendant I'd like some gas please.
"Sorry I no speak English!" Apu replied.
"But you were just talking to-" the lady asked.
"Yes sir. No sir! Hotdog! Hotdog! Maybe bye bye!" said Apu trying to fob her off as for some reason he decided to be rude that day.
"Well I can't pump gas my self!" said the lady annoyed by Apu's unhelpful behaviour.
"I used to be a little overwhelmed myself! It's not that hard! I can help!" Marge said to the lady as she left.
The lady recognises her. "Marge? Marge Bouvier?" said the lady.
"Hi Evelyn!" said Marge recognising her. "Um, it's Marge Simpson now."
"Oh how wonderful! And to think you almost married that Homer..." said Evelyn obviously not a fan of Homer. There is a flash back of him being a slob at school and embarrassing Marge and Evelyn.
"Hey Baby! I'd like to try Einstein's theory of relativity on you..." Homer had clearly got drunk smuggling beers into school.
The flashback ended with Evelyn disgusted.
"Um actually I did marry Homer." Marge explained.
Evelyn was lost for words. "Oh... Why don't you show me the pumps!"
Marge and Evelyn were at the gas pumps outside Apu's store.
"Now ninety nine percent of the time if the gas isn't pumping it's because this arm has been put down." Marge explained pulling the arm of the gas pump up.
"Marge you are an angel! How ever did we go our separate ways?" Evelyn asked joyfully.
"Well we lived different lives. You had your debutant classes and skinny dipping. And I had errr... my home education classes..." Marge explained.
"Well lets catch up! You must join me at the Springfield Heights country club this weekend!" said Evelyn.
"Why thank you!" said Marge.
Marge was fussing over the family one evening because they were going to that country club.
She embarrassed Bart by wiping his face with a licked napkin.
"Moooom!" Bart whined wearing his best suit.
"Bart I told you to comb your hair..." she combed Bart's spikes into his smart hair do. Oscar laughed at him.
"Homer I don't think you should wear a short sleeve shirt with a tie..." Marge explained.
"But Sipowicz would!" Homer whined.
"If Detective Sipowicz jumped off a cliff would you?!" Marge nagged.
"No..." Homer sighed. "I wish I was Sipowicz...
Marge was examining Lisa to make sure she was dressed nicely.
"Mom do we really have to go to this fancy country club? It's nothing but a hotbed of elite social climbers trying to better themselves!" Lisa ranted.
"Lisa you know I don't like you using the word hotbed..." Marge sighed. "Everyone just try to behave... Bart! No grifting!"
Bart had a hand of playing cards attached to a gadget that he dismissed up his blazer sleeve. "Aawww Raspberries!" Bart sighed.
"Coooool! Inspector Gadget thingy! What else have you got up there Bart?" Oscar asked.
"Oscar it's not an Inspector Gadget cybernetic instalment... it's just a device I'm wearing on my arm..." Bart sighed.
"Go go Gadget helicopter!" said Oscar.
"Oscar no silliness please..." Marge sighed.
The Simpsons arrived in Springfield Heights at a very posh country club. The door man asked for their names. "Names please."
"Simpsons." said Marge. "Uh we're not poor."
The family looked at her funny.
"What? We're not!" said Merge.
"We were invited by her old school friend Evelyn..." Oscar explained.
"Ah. Right this way! Evelyn is so pleased to see you!" said the door man.
They went into the club.
"Marge! How nice of you to come!" said Evelyn. She then introduced Marge to all of her posh friends at the country club. Unfortunately one of them was clearly a condescending bitch... (She was subtly putting Marge down.)
"Everyone smile, even if you don't mean it..." said Homer through his teeth. He and the kids then smiled big cheesy grins.
"Oh Marge's family! You don't have to stay in the hall! You're all free to roam the club!"
"Come on kids, let's look around. Ooooh! Chandelier!" said Homer looking around..
They were wandering a hall with paintings. Homer was relaxed and carefree despite Bart's antics. He was drawing moustaches on the paintings.
"Hey Dad, how comes you're so relaxed? I'd figure a fancy country club would bring out Strict Homer." said Bart.
"Oh Strict Homer is safely locked away..." said Homer. In his head Strict Homer, dressed as an army sergeant was locked up in a cage while drunk Homer was lying down in a drunken stupor, smart Homer was reading and fun Homer was partying. "Why'd you think that boy?"
"Because you were being a right ogre at old man Burns' picnic..." said Bart.
"Hey, Mr Burns is my boss, I had to set a few boundaries because he'd fire any dads with badly behaved kids! Besides that day ended spectacularly in all the wrong ways because of Oswald here..." Homer replied.
"My name's Oscar!" Oscar replied. "And your boss shouldn't be such a sore loser! What's the point in holding a sports day if he wins all the time?!"
"Well, there'll be no yelling tonight because Mr Burns isn't here." said Homer.
"Simpson?!" said Mr Burns on one of the rare occasions he remembered his name.
"Ahhhhh!" Homer screamed. "Be normal! Be normal! Bart! Lisa!" Homer suddenly became his nagging season one self.
"Oh ho ho ho! Relax Simpson. We're not at work! And I didn't know you were a member!" said Mr Burns.
"Um yes. We've just joined tonight! In fact I hope we get to come here all the time!" said Homer.
"Oh ho ho ho! Why don't I show you the golf course? You like golf don't you Simpson?" Mr Burns asked.
"Oh sure! I love golf!" Homer lied.
"See you later Dad!" Bart said as he and Oscar ran off with Lisa not far behind.
Marge meanwhile spent her time with her new friends sipping tea and chatting about boring things like mail ordering food instead of shopping because apparently they're too high class to waste time yelling at incompetent store clerks all day.
"I once mail ordered steaks." said a posh lady.
Oscar narrating: "Well I once mail ordered wooden stakes to Ace's mansion. He wasn't very happy with me..."
Then the condescending bitch said, "I have a sneaking suspicion L Benedict and H Bausen are sending me the same honey..." Well why don't you use the shops like a normal person!
“Well, I say there’s nothing like a home cooked meal you made yourself.” said Marge.
Everyone looked at her like she was an alien until Evelyn spoke up for her.
“Well once Hubert and I snuck home from a party late and we didn’t want to wake the chef so we made ourselves some soup! Of course we made a mess but I’m sure our maid didn’t mind the extra work.” said Evelyn.
Anyway the rest of this scene drove me nuts so we're skipping to when the Simpsons return home for the night.
"Well I had a lovely evening! The place was just like the Playboy mansion! Except without all the sex..." said Marge.
"Oh what a shame!" said Bart and Oscar snarky as they grinned and rolled their eyes.
"Hmmmmmmm! Boys, you know I don't like you idolising Hugh Hefner!" Marge told them off. "Anyway how was everyone else's time?"
"Awful! A man in the bathroom kept giving me towels until I paid him to stop!" Bart replied.
"Should have kept them coming boy." said Homer holding a large stack of white towels.
"Well, we're going to be going there again next weekend so get used to it!" said Marge.
The Simpsons were at the fancy club again.
"But mom, these people aren't like us!" said Lisa.
"You're right, they're better." said Marge. "Just try to fit in, soon we'll be better too!"
Lisa sighed and went to find Bart.
Meanwhile Kent Brockman's daughter was yelling at a butler for bringing her the wrong sandwich. "Jeeves you idiot! You've brought me a baloney sandwich! I said Abalone! Take it back and get it right this time!"
"Yes madam." said the butler taking away the wrong sandwich.
"Ugh! So many spoilt brats here..." Lisa sighed.
"Hey, I like my ladies spoilt." said Bart.
"Ugh! Bart she got all of her looks from her dad! And besides girls have cooties..." sad Oscar.
"Oh yeah... if I were dating her I'd be dating Kent Brockman in a dress. Yeeeuck!" said Bart.
Marge was playing a card game, probably Bridge, with her new friends.
“A winning hand! Don’t let them know! Put on your best poker face!” said her brain.
“But remember we’re here to make friends not enemies!” said her hair.
“Oh who cares!” said more of her hair.
“Don’t ask me! I’m just hair! Your head stopped a foot ago!” said even more of her hair.
Condescending bitch was mocking Marge's outfit again and Homer was playing golf but swung his club so hard it went flying and smacked Krusty on the head knocking him unconscious.
It was then time for lunch. Bart and Oscar arrived late.
"Hmmmm Take your seats. Soups getting cold now because of you two." Marge sighed.
"Mom! It's gazpacho! It's supposed to be cold!" said Lisa.
"Well sorry I'm late folks, I was resting and just forgot the time." said Oscar.
"Resting? Or did you just fall asleep..." a condescending kid remarked.
"(Sarcastic laughter) Yeheheheh! Shaddup!!" Oscar yelled at him.
Marge was embarrassed by Oscar's attitude. "Oscar just eat your soup."
"This is good soup." said Dr Hibbert.
Evelyn made a speech. "I can't thank Marge enough for reuniting with me again! Here's to the girls of class '66!"
Everyone toasted Marge. "To Marge!"
However Condescending kid was mucking about with a piece of salad leaf in his mouth making faces at Oscar.
"Balae nic noo dayee!" Oscar screamed in gibberish at him. Everyone was quite shocked by his behaviour.
"Oscar, please, no gibberish tonight I beg you." said Marge.
"Sorry lady." said Oscar sipping his soup.
Evelyn continued her speech. Condescending kid was making a face sticking his tongue out.
"Kero gero giggigoskskhjk oooo!" Oscar screamed.
"That's it Oscar! Get the hell outta here!" Homer yelled thumping the table.
Everyone was mortified.
Oscar grumpily got up and left the table. Condescending kid was trying to act innocent.
"Kalae kistnae... Gabahoooooo yeah...." Oscar ranted in gibberish glaring at the condescending kid who looked alarmed at him.
"I'll see you later Oscar." said Bart breaking the ice.
"Kalae hoo hoo! Sabayoo!" Oscar said sarcastically to Bart. He then marched up to condescending kid and screamed "Geruuuuuuu!" In his face while flipping the bird/middle finger gesture at him. Oscar then stormed off.
Marge laughed sheepishly as soup course drew to a close.
The Simpsons were not happy with Oscar.
"Oscar... I asked you to do one thing and that was don't be silly or embarrassing..." Marge sighed.
"Yeah, you lucky they haven't kicked us out you little!" Homer said angrily.
"Homer!" Marge told Homer to calm down. "Oscar why were you acting up at dinner?"
"Because that posh kid was getting under my skin by pulling faces at me!" Oscar replied.
"Did you have to scream in gibberish at him?!" Bart winced.
"I'm fluent in gibberish!" said Oscar proudly.
The Simpsons sighed.
After that incident the Simpsons had lunch one day with Evelyn alone. No spoilt rich brats to annoy Oscar.
Marge was politely talking to the butler as he poured tea.
Oscar was being very demanding at the kids table.
“Cut my eggs!” He demanded. The butler cut his eggs.
“Your eggs are cut sir.” said the butler.
“Cut my milk!” Oscar demanded.
“I can’t sir.” said the butler.
“Why not?!” Oscar asked.
“Because it’s liquid sir.” said the butler.
“Imbecile! Freeze it then cut it! And if you question me again I’ll have you put on diaper changing duty and I swear I won’t make it easy for you!” Oscar ranted.
“Oscar stop that!” Marge told him off. Homer arrived glum. “Homer you’re back early! What happened?” Marge asked.
“I got kicked out of the yacht club...” Homer sighed.
“Hmmmmm!” Marge sighed.
Bart bribed the butlers. “Here’s fifty dollars each to fight to the death!” said Bart.
Star Trek music played as the two butlers grabbed the nearest object that could be used as a weapon and started fighting one another.
“Oh lord!” Marge gasped.
Bart laughed evilly.
Homer then decided to play golf with Kent Brockman.
“Oh dear Homer, you’re in the bunker!” said Kent. “You need to use the open faced club. It’s sometimes called a sandwich.”
“Mmmmmmm! Open faced club sandwich...” Homer moaned with joy as he got out the sandwich club.
Homer then got frustrated on one swing and throw the golf club like an Olympic hammer again. It Hit Krusty and knocked him out.
Bart was horrified Krusty was knocked out.
Homer was then playing a wager against Sean Connery as James Bond and Goldfinger.
“Yeah well if I ever get rich I’ll hire a more talkative butler.” said Homer. Oddjob furiously crushed a golf ball in his bare hands.
Homer then highland flung his golf club again in anger at a bad shot. Smithers cried out.
Homer found he was cheating for Mr Burns. He was planting identical golf balls to Mr Burns.
“Mr Burns you’re cheating!” Homer gasped.
“How unsportsmanlike!” Goldfinger gasped.
“Uh no. These a crocodile eggs! Endangered crocodile eggs! Watch out! Don’t step on them!” said Smithers gathering the golf balls.
Homer tried to eat one. “Ptooey! These are not eggs! They’re golf balls!”
“So? I own this club for the wealthy! You squeal and I’ll have you kicked out Simpson...” said Mr Burns.
“He’s very serious Simpson...” said Smithers.
“So? I don’t like this club anyway! A guy yelled at me for peeing in the fountain...” said Homer.
“But you wife loves going here doesn’t she...?” Mr Burns asked with an evil grin. “Imagine how angry she’d be if you cost her her membership here...”
Homer groaned. He’d have to keep quiet for now.
At somewhere at the club Lisa was ranting again about all the spoilt brats and smug complacent parents when a horse went by. “Those high horses on their... horses... I have to go Bart.” Lisa was engrossed in the horses because she loves horses and ponies.
“I see sister...” said Bart smirking that the sight of horses shut her up.
Oscar was going about speaking in gibberish. “Kallae kist nae... Galahoooooo yeah...”
He then went off and found some swans in the lake. Bart smirked evilly and rubbed his hands with glee.
Marge was talking with Evelyn and not noticing Smug Bitch’s condescending remarks.
“Marge, is that your boy tormenting the swans?” asked Evelyn.
Marge gasped as Bart was teasing swans again. They were squawking at him because he would not give back one of their cygnets. “Bart! Stop that at once!” Marge shouted at Bart.
“Be normal! Be normal!” Homer chased after him and Oscar.
Marge face palmed.
Homer grabbed Bart and Oscar and took them to the crèche.
“I know you’re meant for babies but do you have a place for one looney and one brat?” said Homer.
“Jeeve throw these boys in the pit...” said the crèche worker. A butler took Bart and Oscar.
“No! Not into the pit! It burns!” Oscar screamed exactly like CDI Ganon.
“Oh good! And you can take one evil psychotic twin I didn’t want. Careful he bites!” said Homer handing over Hugo in a rabbit cage.
Homer then went to play golf/practice his swings. A man with brown hair and glasses came to offer him some friendly advice.
“Oh my god! It’s-“ whoever that famous golfer is. Probably Nick Orice.
The famous celebrity golfer said “First up adjust your posture, swing from your hips. And secondly, STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER!” He yelled snatching his golf clubs from Homer. “Keep the shoes.”
Meanwhile Bart, Hugo and Oscar totem pole to get out of the pit.
Marge heard condescending bitch say her suit was getting a bit dated. Marge smirked gamely and decided it needed adjusting again.
At Home Marge was adjusting her Chanel suit on the sewing machine again when Lisa being oddly noisy and distracting was jumping on the bed.
“Mom look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Mooooooom!”
“Whaaaaaat?!!l Marge screamed.
“Nothing...” Lisa squeaked frightened.
There was an accident with the sewing machine as it stitched up the Chanel suit wrong.
“Noooooooooo!” Marge screamed and pulled out the suit but it ripped.
“Oops!” said Lisa.
Marge went back to the store to find another Chanel suit.
“Sorry lady, all we had is this evening dress.” said Raphael.
Marge reluctantly bought it and wore it that night.
She was harsh and argumentative with everyone that night,
“Homer park here.”
“No way I wanna park in the parking lot!” said Homer.
“Homer I said park here!”
“No way! For once in my life I’m being called sir! Without people adding “You’re making a scene...”” said Homer stubbornly.
Marge grumbled as he pulled up and parked.
“Good evening sir!” said a butler welcoming the Simpsons in. After they were out of ear shot. “You’re all making a scene...”
While Marge and Evelyn etc had tea, Marge embarrassed by her new dress. Oscar decided to cause embarrassment when he was helps himself to the green raisin flapjack things.
“Eeeeeew! Why do these have squashed flies in them...” said Oscar.
The posh ladies gagged and spat out their tea.
Marge hmmmmmed grumpily.
Meanwhile Chef Boyardee is disgusted with Homer’s Gluttony as he scoffs up the banquet of party food and canapés.
“Homer! It’s polite to have one canapé! No more!” Marge nagged as Honer greedily helped himself to food.
Then Marge over heard Smug Bitch make a remark about her.
“Where does she think she’s going to stick bells on that mangled Chanel suit anyway?” said Smug Bitch.
Marge growled. “Now you listen here you over privileged hussy! If you have something to say about me say it to my face!” Marge yelled. The posh ladies gasped at her behaviour.
“Very well Marge. I don’t think you fit in here. You poor over dressed housewife! Putting a Chanel suit on you is like putting diamonds on dog faeces.”
Marge snapped and they got into a cat fight. Cooooool!
Sometime later the Simpsons got kicked out of the club.
“I can’t believe Mom of all people got us kicked out...” said Bart.
“Come on kids, this place isn’t for us...” said Marge.
They went still dressed up nicely to Krusty burger.
“Now this is my kind of place!” said Marge as they ate fast food. I.e. burgers and fries etc.
“Are you nuts lady? There’s vomit on the floor and gum under the seats!” said Squeaky Voiced Teen. “Some people...” he sighed as he cleaned up.