Simpsons Fanon

Gone Maggie Gone There is a solar eclipse. Marge goes temporarily blind from looking directly at it. Oscar turns into a fox demon every total eclipse. And Homer loses Maggie to some nuns. Lisa goes under cover as a nun and solves Da Vinci code style riddles to find Maggie while fleeing from a mad albino monk assassin.


The couch gag is that the couch is a piñata. Ralph knocks the piñata and it breaks spilling out candy and the Simpsons. Ralph cheers.

The episode starts with the Simpsons watching the news about the solar eclipse.

There is a rather surreal title intro that looks like the title sequence to the Scary Door from Futurama narrated by the Scary Door Narrator.

“It might as well be the Scary Door.” said Bender drinking bear.

“Ssssshhhh!” Bart hushed him.

The narration was as follows.

“For centuries man has been ruled by science and industry. But that era is drawing to a close, for we now stand on the cusp of a new epoch. An epoch of prophecies, puzzles and signs in the sky! And that epoch begins today.”

Kent was telling us the news. “When a rare total eclipse of the sun begins. Now the total eclipse is like a woman breastfeeding in public. It’s free, it’s beautiful! But under no circumstances should you look directly at it?” said Kent.

“Kent that just made you look weird...” said Arnie Pye. “A solar eclipse is more like looking into the ark of the covenant! Shut your eyes Marion! Don’t look at it!”

“Yes quite so Arnie...” Kent sighed. “The only safe way to observe a solar eclipse is with a camera obscura which you can all make at home with a shoe box, some toilet tubes and sticky tape!” Kent was given the parts needed to make a shoe box camera. He was annoyed because it was supposed to have been assembled for him.

“This was supposed to be premade!” Kent yelled. “Fine! I’ll do it myself! Where’s the end of the tape?., gerrrr! Fine! We’ll do this next week!”

He throws the shoe box in a strop.

“Sir the solar eclipse is today.” said a film crew member.

“There’s an eclipse when I say there’s an eclipse!” Kent shouted.

“Nope when I say there’s one! Lunar locket!” Oscar used Lunar locket, a Shen gong wu that makes eclipses.

“Gimme that!” Omi yelled snatching the Shen Gong Wu.


The eclipse happened as the moon covered the sun and the earth went dark.

Animals acted madly. Ie squirrels eating other animals like a swarm of piranhas, fish walking on land, penguins flying...

Then bats flew out of the Washington monument obelisk.

Ace laughed when he saw bats fly out of the obelisk.

Then a guy’s solar powered car stopped working right on a level crossing. He screamed as a train headed towards him but it was a solar powered train and stopped once the eclipse cut its power source. The man sighed with relief.

Then people leapt off of sky scrapers in mass suicide screaming.

Then Mr Burns saw the eclipse from his office at the plant.

“Excellent! Even the almighty god agrees with blotting out the sun, Smithers!” said Mr Burns.

“I’m just resting my coffee cup on the sun you evil mortal! This has nothing to do with your wicked plan to blot out the sun!” God yelled.


At the Simpsons house in the backyard the Simpsons and Hugo and Oscar were watching the solar eclipse with shoe box cameras.

“That’s the penumbra! Now for umbra!” said Lisa.

“I’m gonna see it first!” said Bart climbing on the dog’s house.

“No me!” said Hugo trying to push him off.

“Out of the way! I’m seeing it!” said Homer climbing on Bart’s shoulders.

“Ungh! You’re too heavy you great big lummox! Get off!” Bart pushed him off. Homer broke his camera.

Homer whined.

“Oh Homie. Use mine!” said Marge.

“But mom you’ll miss the eclipse!” said Lisa. “And it only happens every seventy years!”

“I’ll just look at the shadow on the ground.” said Marge. “Has our grass always been blueish green?”

The rest of her family and Oscar ooooooohed at the solar eclipse.

“Hmmmmmm! One quick peak can’t hurt surely...” said Marge. She looked at the eclipse. It was beautiful as a black circle blotted out the sun completely turning the sky black. However the circle moved and the sun’s blinding glare shone...

Marge screamed horribly as her eyes went white with lots of red blood vessels. Eeeeeeeew!


The Simpsons were indoors nursing Marge. She was wearing a blindfold.

“Oh no! The sun blinded Mom!” said Lisa.

“Aaaaaaaagh! I’m blind!!” Marge screamed.

“Ssssshh! Mom calm down! We’ll take you to Dr Hibbert!” said Lisa.

“Ah good old Dr Hibbert. Is that you Lisa?” Marge asked.

“Yes Mom I’m right here holding your hand.” said Lisa.

“Oh thanks Lisa. You’re such a good girl.” said Marge.

“Where’s Oscar?” Homer asked.

Oscar was out in the backyard staring at the eclipse.

“Oz! Do you want to go blind as well?!” Bart yelled at him. But he didn’t respond. “Oz?”

Oscar was in some kind of trance looking at the eclipse. Which for some reason was back in its total umbra form again. He had tiny red pupils.

“Oz? We have to get to the hospital.” said Bart. “It’s Mom.”

Oscar then transformed into a feral beast. First of he grew fangs and growled. Then he grew a big fluffy yellow tail. Then hi ears became pointy.

“Oz?” Bart asked.

Then Oscar’s nose became a big black round shiny wet nose and he grew yellow fur everywhere as he growled.

“Holy crud!” Bart yelled.

Oscar was now some sort of werewolf. Well actually a were kitsune. (Legendary nine tailed fox demon) he growled at Bart.

Bart screamed and ran inside.

Oscar then reverted back but he was baby sized with a big fluffy yellow tail and pointy ears.

“Uh? Where did everyone go?” Oscar asked.


At Springfield General Hospital.

“Mrs Simpson must keep her eyes covered for two weeks. Fortunately her sight will return. But I suggest you take this as a warning Marge! And not to stare at the sun!” said Dr Hibbert.

“Yes Doctor.” said Marge with her eyes covered.

“Don’t worry Marge. I’ll be your seeing eye Homer.” said Homer.

“Oh Homie!” Marge sighed happily.

“We’re in some sort of Doctor room, there’s stuff on the walls. It’s kinda hard to describe. I’ll stop now.” said Homer.

“Now Marge mustn’t suffer any stress or upset! The slightest stress would put pressure on the blood vessels in her eyes causing what we doctors call... Tex Avery Syndrome!” said Dr Hibbert.

“Cooooool!” said Oscar.

Dr Hibbert put on a tape. It was of the Tex Avery Wolf aroused by a beautiful lady and going crazy doing toon things such as whacking himself with a mallet. Then his eyes exploded.

Oscar laughed.

“Oh my god! Wolves are taking our women!” Homer screamed.

The Simpsons except Marge face palmed.


At Home the Simpsons doted on Marge. Tending to her every needs and keeping her content.

They made her a lovely dinner.

“Oh! I feel so pampered! Like the first ten minutes of Mother’s Day!” said Marge.

“Um it Mother’s Day Mom.” said Bart.

“That reminds me! Happy Mother’s Day Mom.” said Homer giving Mona a present.

“Oh Homer!” Mona hugged her son.

“Now Sweetie you just rest your rods and coddle those cones...” Homer said to Marge as they made sure she was content.

Lisa called for Dad to come into the kitchen. “Dad come into the kitchen! Quickly!” said Lisa.

“Is there any other way to enter a kitchen...” said Homer suddenly he was greeted to the sight of lots of rats cleaning the dishes and cooking etc. “Awwww! Rats in the kitchen! Just like that delightful movie I recorded in the cinema...” said Homer holding a ripped DVD of Ratatouille. Hehehehe!

Oscar laughed hysterically.


A rat then jumped on Homer’s head.

“It’s controlling me with my hair!” said Homer.

“Dude!” said Snake jealous “That was our thing!”

Homer walked like a puppet controlled by the rat on his head. He did some cooking.

“Now to make a delicious sole meunière, celery root purée and carrots Vichy...” said Homer cooking.

Oscar laughed even more hysterically.

“Dad stop it. Oscar’s going to laugh himself to death over this silliness!” Bart warned him.

Homer making Ratatouille references tasted the meunière he made. “Mmmmmmm! Delicious!” Then decided to stop being silly. “I’ll get the rat poison.” The rats squeaked and scurried away.

Hugo scowled. He likes rats and pigeons.


Homer did not go to Shelbyville to buy rat poison...

“Like hell I ain’t Matt! Did you forget our towns are mortal enemies!?” said Homer as he went to a pest control shop in Springfield run by Raphael.

“And here is a big bottle of rat poison.” said Raphael giving Homer a big bottle of rat poison.

Remy the rat screamed.

“Okay no more Ratatouille references. It’s no funny anymore...” said Homer.

Maggie thought the rat poison was candy and wanted to eat some.

“No sweetheart. This isn’t candy. It’s rat poison.” said Raphael. “Why do kids think colourful pills are candy...”

Homer gently put Maggie on the floor with her bunny teddy but Santa’s Little Helper was trying to pull it from her.

“No! Bad dog! That’s Maggie’s rabbit stuffed animal!” Homer told the dog off. “Oz I brought you with me to walk Hugo so he can get some exercise! Hurry up!”

Hugo is acting feral again. Oscar has him on a leash. Hugo is sniffing things. Then he raises his leg to pee. “Hugo you can’t pee here...” Oscar groaned.

Then Homer had to cross a river in a canoe with a wolf, a cabbage and a goat. The wolf being Santa’s Little Helper, the goat being Maggie and the cabbage being deadly rat poison.

Let’s just say Homer failed epically and some nuns from a covenant adopted Maggie.

“Hey that’s my baby! Give her back!” Homer yelled.

Meanwhile Cleatus quite literally was doing the riddle/puzzle. He had a fox, a duck, and some corn. Some variations it’s a fox, Duck and corn. In others it some other predator and pray and vegetable. Like a wolf, goat and cabbage.

“My riddle darn puzzled itself out!” said Cleatus. His fox had eaten the duck and corn.

Homer demanded Mother Superior return Maggie.

“Well you shouldn’t have abandoned a helpless baby on our doorstep then!” Mother Superior argued.

“I was trying to get my baby, the dog and a jar of rat poison across the river! Now give her back you stupid nun!” Homer yelled.

Plot 2[]

At the Simpsons. Hugo had gathered all the rats in the attic. He also had lots of pigeons in there too.

“Now my mutant army of pigeon rats, or rat pigeons, is complete! Mwuhahahaha!” Hugo laughed maniacally. “Soon I will have an army of Freckles and Flaps!” He laughed maniacally as Freckles and Flaps, his pet pigeon rat flew about the attic.

“Why are Hugo’s scenes just moronic stupidity...” Bart sighed.

Downstairs the Simpsons had to deal with Oscar’s new form as a fox demon.

“So Oscar is some sort of werewolf but he transforms every total solar eclipse?” Bart asked.

“I’m a fox demon! A kitsune yokei from Japanese mythology!” Oscar yelled. “Except in Japan foxes have nine tails each, are bright yellow without white tips on their tails like British foxes and are gigantic man eating monsters with supernatural powers that are enhanced every time there is a Solar Eclipse.”

“Cool!” said Bart. “I think.”

“On the other hand a fox demon, especially very young ones are cute and oh so adorable! Squeeeede!” Oscar found his appearance especially his big fluffy yellow tail and tiny paws he had as feet adorable.

“I am not adorable!” Shippo from Inu Yasha yelled annoyed.

“Yes you are! You looks small and itty bitty sized I think you should wear a diaper!” said Fox demon Oscar to Shippo.

“No! You might want to wear diapers but I don’t!” Shippo yelled scampering off.

“Oz don’t be weird...” Bart sighed.

“He has a tiny wiener too. And I know that because he strips off naked a lot.” said Oscar.

“My friends find a lot of hot springs okay?!” said Shippo from somewhere.


Homer got home.

“Kids I have to tell ya mother I lost Maggie.” said Homer.

“No! You heard Dr Hibbert! She can’t be stressed or her eyeballs will pop!” said Lisa.

“Okay here’s what we will do... we will infiltrate the covenant dressed as nuns and steal back Maggie.” Homer explained.

“But who is going to dress up as a nun?” Bart asked.

“Well don’t look at me! I am not wearing a dress!” said Homer.

“Why not? You’re always wearing stupid costumes. Like that time you were a gay, southerner Abraham Lincoln.” said Bart.

“I like being a gay historically inaccurate Abraham Lincoln!” said Homer. “Did you know he used to be a vampire hunter?”

The kids rolled their eyes.

“I’ll volunteer to dress as a nun.” said Lisa.

“You will?” Bart asked.

“Sure? Why not? I have the costume from that school play of Sister Act we did still. And I’m likely to be more serious enough to pull this off without a hitch...” said Lisa.

“Okay. And I’ll be you. And Homer you’ll have to come up with something to be Maggie.” said Bart.


Fox demon Oscar groaned as he scratched himself with his hind paws because he had fleas.

Meanwhile he somehow got Shippo toe wear a diaper. Because Shippo looks adorable in a diaper. The curious bear cub sniffed his diaper.

Shippo grimaced as the cartoon bear cub sniffed his diaper and whined as it kept sniffing him.

While Lisa was gone Homer pretended a hand puppet he made was Maggie. It somehow worked like a charm as Marge was feeding the puppet Baby food.

“Oh Maggie you’re awfully hungry today!” said Marge.

“She’s suspicious! Slow down!” Homer said to the puppet.

“Never! I am hungry!” said Homer as the puppet putting on a Cookie Monster voice.

“Me eat cookie! Mmmmmm! Cookie!” said Oscar doing Cookie Monster voices and eating sounds.

Then at bed time after Marge kissed Bart good night he snuck into Lisa’s room put on her nightingale gown and messed his hair up Ito her hair style. He has very strange abilities...

Marge fell for this hook line and sinker. But she asked what she thought was Lisa to play her saxophone.

Bart played Lisa’s saxophone badly. But Marge didn’t seem to notice and happily grooved to the music.


Meanwhile Lisa successfully joined the covenant.

She asked where Maggie is as she wasn’t in the nursery.

“Are you a doubting Thomas?” Mother Superior asked.

“More like a curious George.” said Lisa.

Bart who was there as the covenant was on the site of his cathedral and Sunday school, laughed.

“Well maybe you should see the man in the yellow hat! You little monkey!” said Mother Superior.

Bart laughed hysterically.

“Quiet in Sunday school!” Mother Superior whacked him with a ruler.

“Ow!” Bart whined. “Fine! I will sit 28 centre meters away from you then!” He yelled.

“A foot is thirty centre meters you idiot!” Mother Superior yelled and hit him again.

“Ow!” Bart whined.

Lisa rolled her eyes.


Luckily for Lisa a rogue nun wanted to help her because she didn’t like Mother Superior. However to find out where Maggie was Lisa had to solve various clues and riddles like something out of the Da Vinci Code.

Leonardo Da Vinci wrote a novel.

“Leonardo what is this?” A wealthy man asked.

“It is a story of riddles and murder and conspiracy theories involving the church! And psychotic albino monks!” said Leonardo Da Vinci.

“Narrator! Leonardo Da Vinci did not write the Da Vinci Code!” Lisa whined.

Lisa had to solve her first puzzle which involved translating Latin.

“Okay this word means God. And this means seek. To seek God you must find Heart and Soul. Hmmmmm...” said Lisa.

The song Heart and Soul was playing somewhere. Lisa went to wherever in the covenant that song was playing and found her next clue. A Rube Goldberg machine that could unlock a secret passageway!

“Oooooh! How intellectually challenging!” Lisa said with glee.” I hope I don’t run into that crazy, murderous albino assassin monk again.” said Lisa.

The albino assassin monk attacked!

Lisa screamed an ran from him.


Meanwhile at home, the rest of the family kept up the illusion that Maggie was still with them to trick Marge. Somehow this works. How do they do things like when she needs a diaper change?

For whatever reason they are able to keep up this charade for the whole episode.

That night once again Marge saw to Bart and missed him good night, then he snuck into Lisa’s room and masqueraded as her and played her saxophone.

Somehow Homer was able to masquerade something as Maggie and it worked. He used a bag of potatoes...

Then Marge put Hugo to bed and kissed him good night.

“Goodnight dear.” she kissed him goodnight. He grimaced. She then left him to sleep on his canvas bed in the attic.


The next day Lisa lost the crazy albino assassin monk from The Da Vinci Code and found Bart in class with Father Liam Neeson. Neeson had given him some bible themed comics with lots of violence in them.

“Coooooool! Reverend Lovejoy never made church fun!” said Bart. “Wow! I can really imagine myself as David from David and Goliath!”

Lisa wasn’t impressed he wasn’t taking his faith seriously and was bitching about how boring Mom’s faith was.

“Anyway have any of you seen seen a mad albino assassin monk about?” Lisa asked.

“Nope.” said Bart. “But this new nun is driving everyone crazy...”

Grim from Grim adventure was dressed as a nun.

“These robes really match my figure!” said Grim feeling rather effeminate. There were loads of midget nuns ringing bells.

“Grim! Get your bony butt home now!” Mandy yelled.

This made the midget nuns angry, and they combined into a nun Megazord!

“No Oz! No!” Bart yelled.

Hehehe! That Grin Adventures episode is funny...


Meanwhile Lisa found the Rube Goldberg machine and solved it, it opened a secret passageway. Of course it was needlessly complex and Lisa was sat bored waiting for it to finish and open the passageway.

She then found the next clue, it was to read alternate words in a mixture of words that seemed nonsensical until you read every other word.

“Try once more again, numbskull.” said the answer.

“That’s not very nice! But I will try again. But not because the sign told me to...” said Lisa

Look for Springfield’s biggest man made ring. She saw big smoke rings coming from the power plant. A giant ring sculpture. Sauron wearing the one ring of power. A hula hoop store with a hula hoop spinning on the logo and a shop selling giant gold rings and ovals.

“Well, did you get it?” Lisa asked the fourth wall.

“No we didn’t! Now make Simpsons Movie 2!”

“That’s not gonna happen guys...” Lisa sighed.

“I think that was a gag to reveal she was talking to me.” said Milhouse. “And no I didn’t get it Lisa. I’m not a smart nerd, I’m a weak nerd.”

Lisa explained the biggest ring was those made by Springfield’s bell tower. She went to the bell tower.

A sign said no entry. She sighed. But a sign underneath said Or go in. I’m a sign, not a cop.

Lisa went in not knowing that some shady monks were following her.

And the shady monks didn’t know they were being followed by Magneto, Dr Octopus from the Tobey McGure films and Silas the creepy albino assassin monk dude.

“No Oz! Just because Ian McKellen and Alfred Molina were in that movie does not give you the right to make silly cameos!” Bart whined.

Magneto ignored Bart’s whining and felt Dr Octopus would be a valuable ally in fighting the X men and humans. Until he uses his magnet powers to rip off his tentacles of course.

Silas just felt compelled to kill everyone including Tom Hanks who were investigating the conspiracy involving the Vatican and Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting of the last supper. There was actually thirteen apostles or something like that. Holy crap! Silas is trying to kill me!

“Oz! Enough!” Lisa whined.

The monks followed Lisa up the bell tower to ambush her. But she ended up ambushing them!

“Ha!” She pulled down their hoods revealing they were.... Principal Skinner and Comic Book Guy! Dun dun dun!

Plot 3[]

“Principal Skinner? Comic book Guy?! I know you two from Mensa! What are you two doing here? Lisa asked.

Well you see we left Mensa to form a secret order dedicated to finding the gem of Springfield!” said Skinner.

“Well I already started looking for it after finding clues in the covenant.” said Lisa smugly. “I’m trying to rescue my sister Maggie! Why do you need it.”

“That is a secret only to be told between members of our secret order!” said Comic Book Guy.

“We’re wearing matching monk robes and driving about in my mother’s mini van.” said Skinner.

“I think I should be allowed to know given I was a former member of the Mensa. And does your mother know your borrowing her mini van?” Lisa said smugly.

Skinner told her everything. A story of how nuns colonised the colonies first on a ship of nuns! And a nun Megazord!

“No Oz! Not a nun Megazord!” Lisa sighed.

The nuns arrived in America and converted their boat which was now upside down into a covenant/cathedral and went inside to pray.

Natives fired arrows at it.

Then there was a conspiracy that the founding fathers of America, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington staged a phoney war of independence with their friend King George the third as a cover to look for the gem. Along the way the nuns fled the fighting in the colonies to live in Springfield.

“Where are the other members of Mensa? Where’s Professor Frink? Dr Hibbert? Lindsey Naegle?” Lisa asked.

“It was just us two who left to form our own secret order.” said Skinner.

“Oh.” said Lisa.

They asked if she found the biggest ring in Springfield.

“Yep. The ring this bell makes!” said Lisa pointing to a large grey bell in the bell tower with them.

“Hmmmmm! Ingenious Lisa, but!” Comicbook Guy picked up the clanger for hitting the bell to ring it. Lisa and Skinner covered their ears instinctively. Comic book guy hit the bell but it was made of putty.

“Eh?” Lisa asked.

“The real bell has been moved for repairs. This is a fake made of putty!” said Comic book Guy.

They pondered what the clue meant by biggest man made ring.

Then Lisa had an idea. It meant the word Ring is the Springfield Hollywood letters on the mountains overlooking Springfield.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” said Skinner.

They left the bell tower before being intercepted by the crazed albino monk assassin and Magneto and Dr Octopus.

They arrived at the big white letters but Mr Burns and Smithers got there first with his hounds. His snarling hounds.

“Mr Burns! What are you doing here?” Lisa asked.

“I to seek the gem of Springfield! It’s power would make me invincible!” said Mr Burns.

Lisa frowned, he obviously had evil reasons for wanting the gem.

“I already knew of the gem! I was in the Freemasons before it was trendy! Then I left are a dire warning from some tiny germs.” said Mr Burns “About them becoming too powerful. And now I am here with my faithful Albino!”

Oscar laughed. “Knew it!”

Lisa sighed.

“Sir I am not an albino! I just use a lot of sunblock!” Smithers explained.

“Then why did I give you those albino holidays?” said Mr Burns.

“Mr Burns I thought you hated the Freemasons!” said Lisa. “Remember those tines you were cooped up at your casino frightened about germs?” said Lisa.

“Oh I’m actually a staunch Freemason, here’s my eye on the pyramid!” said Mr Burns. “the pyramid is also my pyramid.”

“I didn’t know you had a pyramid...” Lisa remarked.

Lisa saw words on the giant letters. “Words!”

“Let’s read the words. Great crimes kill holy sage.” said Lisa.

“Great crimes kill holy sage!” said Skinner. “We must warn the holy sage!”

“No! A sentence this awkwardly worded must be an anagram!” said Lisa.

They set about deciphering the anagram.

“While you two dig your own graves!” said Mr Burns to Skinner and Comic Book Guy.

“Mr Burns...” Oscar glared.

“The anagram is... Regally the rock gem is Lisa?” said Lisa.

“I got ‘Ace Gee, Grimly Hills Stork.’” said Oscar. “Ace must have the next clue! Let’s go off to Grimly Hills!”

“I really think I have the answer Oscar...” Lisa sighed.

“Then the gem is inside her!” Mr Burns pulled out a scalpel!

“Aaaaaaagh! Oscar’s was right! Let’s go find Ace!” Lisa screamed.

“No sir! Can’t you see the riddle means Lisa is the gem!” said Smithers.

“Of course! God wouldn’t find favour with mere trinkets! A gem to him would be a pure hearted child...” said Mr Burns. “You are pure aren’t you?”

“Does kissing Milhouse count as not?” asked Lisa.

“No.” said Skinner.

“No.” said Comic Book Guy.

“No.” said Mr Burns.

“Then the riddle is solved!” said Lisa.

“Wait. According to the legend, the gem must be returned to the covenant by sunrise!” said Skinner.

“Coooool! Like in The Mummy Returns when they had to get the bracelet of Osiris into the pyramid before sunrise or their son would die!” said Oscar.

“Um I hope that doesn’t happen to me if we don’t get there in time? Does anyone have a chopper?” Lisa asked.

“I do. But I don’t want you lot riding in it.” said Mr Burns.

Oscar pulled a gun on him.

“Fine...” Mr Burns relented.


Lisa arrived back to find the nuns in deep worship. They didn’t even notice Lisa come in loudly announcing her presence.

“That’s okay, ignore me! I am the gem child...” said Lisa.

“Hush little girl! You’re not the gem child! She is!” said Mother Superior pointing to Maggie sat on a simple throne.

“No! The riddle says I am! Look!” said Lisa.

“Regally, the rock gem is Lisa! Really now! How many sentences do you know that start with Regally?” said Mother Superior.

“This one?” Lisa said sheepishly.

The mother superior made a vexed sound annoyed at Lisa’s stupidity and wrote the actual solution.

“The gem is really Maggie, Sherlock!”

“May I remind you this answer only works when I get the wrong answer beforehand?” Lisa snarked.

“Hush!” Mother Superior ordered her to be quiet so the nuns could pray.

The sun shone on Maggie and rainbows poured out of her. The nuns gasped at such beauty.

Everywhere people set aside their differences, such goodness stopped the evilest of villains, like the combined Care Bear Stare stomach lasers of all the Care Bears United. And Snake was spared the death penalty by electric chair again.

He got a gentle massage instead.

“Mmmmmm! Something tells me the gem of Springfield has returned at last...” said Snake.

Well we wouldn’t want you getting zapped by the electric chair again and coming back as a vengeful toupee would we?

“But I like being a vengeful toupee!” Snake whined.

All was bliss in Springfield, until Marge wearing a clothe over her eyes stormed into the church. “Give me my baby!”

“Mom hw did you know Maggie was missing? And that she was here?” said Lisa.

“A mother knows.” said Marge. She picked up Maggie shutting off the blissful magic, or divine power coming from her.

“No Mom! Maggie is the gem child! Her being here on this day has brought peace between Springfield and Shelbyville! And road rage incidents in Ogdenville have fallen to zero!” said Lisa. “She has to stay!”

“Well a world of peace would be lovely to be the first thing I see after I can remove my blindfold.” said Marge.

Maggie gurgled and pulled off Marge’s blindfold so she could see her. Maggie gurgled and babbled happily.

“Oh! That is even more beautiful!” Marge hugged Maggie. “I’m sorry but I know God wouldn’t ask for us to sacrifice our child. Again.” See the story of Abraham in the bible.


Marge went home in the car with Maggie and Homer. I have no idea where the other kids are.

“Hmmmmm! Maybe I’m being selfish! I dunno...” said Marge wondering if she did the right thing.

“Of course not sweetie... and besides we gave those crazy nuns a new gem child.

In the covenant Bart had been left there.

“Step aside ladies! The gem child is here!” said Bart. He grinned and sat on the gem child throne.

The nuns were horrified as he turned the convent into a demonic ruins with giant cobras on the pillars and a hell vortex in the sky tearing apart the chapel. The sky turned crimson and hellish...

Bart laughed evilly. “I am so staying up past my bed time! Mwuhahahaha!”

The end!