Simpsons Fanon

Gold Star Lisa goes to a genius and talented kids camp for a summer camp where she meets James Bond Jr and Hank Scorpio’s son Gold Star. Meanwhile Bart takes up 4H club again, Hugo contemplates joining the 5H club or the YMCA just to annoy Homer and Oscar gets kicked out of his day care club for being stupid.


The title gag is Snowball as an angel on a cloud meowing.

The blackboard gag is: "My sister is not hiding anything unusual in her locker."

The couch gag is the Simpsons as clowns.

The episode starts with Oscar’s point of view as Teddy the living teddy bear sniffs his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar is lying on the couch letting Teddy sniff him. Bart is drinking a soda while watching cartoons, Lisa is reading a book and Hugo is experimenting by mixing chemicals.

Trans-clown-o-morphs is on.

“Trans clown o morphs! Sent to Earth to defeat the evil Dino robo bots! Trans clown o morphs!” was the theme tune.

Marge was annoyed the kids were loafing around not doing much.

“Kids are you gonna sit around all summer?!”

“Milhouse’s parents took him on holiday to Hawaii for the summer...” said Bart.

“Reading Nancy Drew...” said Lisa.

Hugo growled and jabbered in gibberish.

Oscar groaned aroused as Teddy sniffed him.

“That’s it, I’m signing you all up for a summer activity club of your choosing! To the kitchen!”

“Mom it’s not really our choice if you won’t let us stay at home...” said Bart.

“Bart don’t be smart with me!” Marge said sharply.

In the kitchen Marge laid out leaflets for summer camps for them. She still had them after The Bart of War.

“Oooooooh! Genius camp! For scientists, scholars and budding musicians! Well I know where I want to go this summer!” said Lisa.

“Excellent! Well that’s Lisa sorted!” said Marge.

“Well... I would be missing out hanging out with my intellectual equals... but... Oh! 5h club!” said Hugo grabbing a pink leaflet. It was the 4H club but they had to start admitting homosexuals.

“No!” Homer growled snatching the leaflet.

“Fine... I wanna go to the YMCA!” said Hugo singing YMCA. “Young man, there’s no need to feel down! I said young man!”

“Grrrrrr! No son of mine is growing up to be a fruit!” Homer yelled strangling Hugo.

“Homer let him go!” Marge yelled. “Hugo are you actually gay or are just deliberately provoking your father?”

“A little of column A a little of column B...” said Hugo smirking. “Nah just kidding. I’m straight. I just like annoying Dad by triggering his homophobia.” said Hugo.

“I don’t think you should be asking a ten year old if he’s gay...” Lisa grimaced.

“Kids come out at all ages now!” said Marge. “No seriously Hugo pick a club or I’ll pick one for you.”

“Fine... I’ll join genius camp too.” said Hugo.

“Good. Bart.” said Marge.

“I’m doing some more 4H club this year. Drive a combine harvester and get orf moy land and all that.” said Bart joining the farmer club.

“Good. Oscar?”

“I’ll sign up for some weeks at the arts and craft centre.” said Oscar.

“Which one? The one in an old prison rebuilt for an arts and crafts club? The one where Lisa met Juliet? The one where...”

“The one in the old prison.” said Oscar.

“Then it’s settled. starting Monday you’ll all go to your clubs.

“And give your mother and I some much needed peace!” said Homer.


Lisa and Hugo were dropped off at the genius summer camp. It was run by the hippy guy from The Old Man and The Lisa.

“Contemporise man!” said the hippy. He then gathered round the little geniuses.

“Now there’s a few rules here. Lights out after dark when I say so. And... there are no bad ideas or ‘wrong’ experiments. Enjoy yourselves kids!” said the hippy to them. After he dismissed them he went about telling people to simplify man! And calling people narks.

Lisa unpacked and took out her saxophone to play jazz. she played it for a bit. The other geniuses and gifted children liked her music and clapped.

“What did you bring Hugo?” Lisa asked her brother.

“My pigeon rat Freckles and Flaps and a self assembling mobile laboratory.” said Hugo tossing a box onto the grass outside and it unfolded and assembled into a laboratory the size of a bedroom.

“Unlike you sis I know what sort of genius I want to be. A scientist!” said Hugo.

“Ngh! You’re just like that pompous British journalist Declan Desmond! So what if I want to be a jazz musician, an artist, a politician and a scientist?” Lisa snapped annoyed at him.


Meanwhile Marge after dropping off Lisa and Hugo took Bart to his 4H club and Oscar to his art club.

Her beehive was getting taller and more obnoxious. She really ought to go to Julio’s for a hair cut.

“Marge your beehive is getting bigger than Amy Winehouse’s...” said Oscar.

“I highly doubt that Oscar! And that’s very cheeky!” said Marge.

For some reason Amy Winehouse with a huge beehive hair do was on the kerb of Evergreen Terrace singing Valerie and smoking a crack pipe and drinking.

Nothing much more was said as Oscar was playing his Gameboy Advanced while holding his teddy bear in his arms.

“Well here we are Bart. See you later.” said Marge.

“Smell ya later farm boy.” said Oscar as Bart got out to join his friends at 4H club.


At home Homer was looking after Maggie while watching TV.

“And this late morning’s film is Colonel Dracula joins the navy.” said the announcer.

“Oooooh!” said Homer fascinated. Yeah that’s cool! Colonel Dracula!

There was Dracula the vampire wearing a colonel’s uniform on a ship.

“Uh Colonel” said a man.

“I vant to suck your blood! Bleeeeeh!” said Colonel Dracula.

Homer giggled. “This movie is hilarious!”


It was not long before the hippy camp councillor Woodstock Joe held a competition for the budding geniuses to show off their talents.

First up was Lisa.

She played the saxophone.

Woodstock Joe liked her music.

“Excellent Lisa!”

“Thanks sir. But I am also conducting a science experiment!” said Lisa.

“Oh. And what would that be my little moonshine?” said Woodstock Joe interested.

“I’m teaching squirrels to play jazz with cute tiny saxophones.” said Lisa. There was a brown squirrel with a big black shiny nose playing a saxophone.

“And what have you discovered?” Joe asked.

“Well that the squirrel started drinking and left his wife.” said Lisa disappointed as the squirrel wearing a saxophone around his neck was drinking alcohol from an acorn and leaving his wife, Mrs Squirrel who was crying.

“Fascinating.” said Woodstock Joe.

He moved on to the next kid. A boy wearing scientist clothes. A white lab coat and a bow tie with glasses and wild spiky hair.

“And what are you doing sport?” Joe asked the boy.

“I’m dissecting squirrels!” said the boy cutting up squirrels with a scalpel and forceps.

Lisa was outraged! “How dare you! How dare you chop up poor little squirrels!”

“Now now Lisa. There are no bad ideas or wrong experiments...” said Woodstock Joe.

“Don’t woory! Igor stitches them back together again!” said the boy.

A mad scientist boy completely insane was resurrecting hastily stitched together squirrels with mismatched body parts as Frankenstein monsters. “It’s alive! Aliiiiive!”

“That’s some good messing with God’s domain boys.” said Woodstock Joe.

Lisa was disgusted.

“Coooooool beans!” Hugo cooed happily in fascination with a fellow mad scientist’s work. “Mwuhahahaha!”

Lisa winced.


Meanwhile it was not long before Oscar caused trouble at his camp with his antics.

He painted with some semi dried up purple acrylic paint a picture of a demon while nattering on about Grogre the Ogre. Then at lunch he mummified himself with toilet roll.

The club staff were disturbed by him.

“(Oscar goes about the cafeteria moaning like an Egyptian mummy with his arms stretched out in front of him while covered in toilet roll.)” Oscar was moaning like an Egyptian mummy.

“Narrator that’s not scientifically accurate... mummies can’t resurrect from the dead like a zombie...” Lisa sighed.

Then the final straw was him digging out of the summer club’s allotment, Great Escape style while the Great Escape theme played. As he dug he hummed along while muttering about Richard Attenborough and dinosaurs.

Marge had to pick him up as he was kicked out of the club.

“Oh dear...” Marge sighed.

“Ma’am doesn’t this little boy have any medication...” a staff member of the club asked.

“Um no.” said Marge as Oscar shook his head. “He dislikes being medicated for his Aspergers.”

“Then you leave us no choice but to kick him out from the club. He will not be returning...” said the staff member.

Marge sighed slightly annoyed at Oscar as she took him home.

“Eh... what’s the problem? Oz is usually quiet except when he is breaking things.” said Homer.

“Homer I don’t break things anymore. Anyway I was thinking of joining Ned’s scouts.” said Oscar.

“Oh the wiener patrol...” said Homer.

“Homer! Marge told Homer off.

Later after club Bart took Oscar over to Ned’s to sign up to his scouts.

At the school grounds. Ned’s scout group were outside today as Tom Baker narrated.

”The Cub Scout movement was founded by Lord Baden-Powell, who took much of his inspiration from the Jungle Book, by Walt Disney.”

Oscar screamed with laughter.

Bart sighed exasperated.

”Nyahahahaha.... Ha... Jungle Book....” Oscar sighed tearful with laughter.

“Now neighbourino we must do the scouts honour.” said Ned.

Oscar did the scouts honour which presumably involves promising to help old ladies cross the road etc.

“And you’re in! Gee you were a lot calmer and less musical then Bart diddly art was.” said Ned.

“Ned... I was high on sugar at the time...” Bart whined.


Meanwhile at genius camp. Lisa annoyed over a boy dissecting squirrels and another stitching them back together with the wrong limbs as Frankenstein squirrels, bumped in a boy wearing a dinner suit with a black quiff styled back. The boy introduced himself to her politely as James Bond Jr. That’s my head canon of the mini James Bont kid with astigmatism so deal with it.

Lisa giggled as he kissed her hand, acting romantically towards her.

“The names Bond, James Bond, Jr.” somehow James Bond impregnated one of his girlfriends. Actually James Bond Jr was his nephew somehow.

Meanwhile at the Simpsons house Oscar was watching James Bond Jr. He grimaced as he wondered how Dr No survived being boiled in radioactive water and why he was now green and looked like Fu Manchu crossed with the Mandarin from Iron Man.

Lisa’s James Bond look-alike boyfriend explained he had been sent by the British secret service to spy on Gold Star Scorpio.

“Gold Star Scorpio?” Lisa asked.

“His dad is the diabolical super villain Hank Scorpio, owner of Globex.” said James Bond Jr.

“Oh I know him. He was my dad’s boss when we moved to Cypress Creek. And he is not diabolical! Well he might moonlight as a supervillain... He’s nice!” said Lisa.

“Ah he got you with the friendly boss spiel... he may be nice to his employees, but he is still a dangerous megalomaniac...” said James Bond Jr.

Plot 2[]

Lisa soon encountered Gold Star. He dressed very much like his Dad, wearing a purple sports jacket. However unlike his dad who was nice to everyone Gold Star was bossy and rude.

During water Scrabble, they had square boats with letters on the floor of each to play Scrabble with, he was very demanding telling everyone where to sail to make a triple word score.

Meanwhile Bart was mortified by Oscar insisting in wearing diapers instead of underwear under his scouts uniform.

As such Ned moved him to another scouts group that would be more his thing. Oscar was transferred to a scout group. This one had a mostly blue uniform of light and dark blues with a dark blue neckerchief. It was a group for scouts that wore diapers still for whatever reason.

Oscar took it upon himself to settle into his scouts group by being the most babyish. In a lecture where the scouts were sat down listening to the scout master, Oscar was sucking a shiny blue plastic pacifier while hugging his teddy bear Teddy.

Bart, who’s group were spreading peanut butter on pine cones for birds sweat dropped embarrassed by Oscar’s antics.

“Now remember scouts, this Friday we have a trip to the ballpit soft play centre!” said Oscar’s scoutmaster.

The blue uniformed scouts cheered.

At recess Oscar changed into his uniform for Ned’s group and played on the monkey bars. However halfway across his shorts fell down to his ankles exposing his diaper. Everyone laughed at him.


At Lisa’s camp she discovered that Gold Star was planning some kind of megalomaniac style Plot to hold the world to ransoms for money. She tried to tell the councillor hippy.

“I know there’s no bad ideas or wrong wxperiments but at least let me alert the authorities!” said Lisa.

“I wish I could Lisa, but one of the kids made this cool breakdancing robot from all the telephones.” said Woodstock Joe.

There was a robot made of telephones breakdancing.

“To the hippy to the hop! And I won’t stop!” sung the breakdancing robot. Lisa sweat dropped.

Then to make matters worse James told Lisa he didn’t need her to help him arrest Gold Star and then he started being sexist and chauvinistic.


At scouts Bart’s group led by Ned and Oscar’s group were giving Jasper a sponge bath.

“Make sure to get in all the nooks and crannies.” said Jasper sat in a tub naked.

Bart screamed and got his neckerchief caught in the door again and concussed himself. He was given the kiss of life by a fat kid and shoved him off in disgust as he spat and retched.

“Should I keep doing it?” The fat boy asked.


Meanwhile at Lisa’s camp she heard James scream for help.

She found Gold Star had captured him and manacled him to a table as a laser cut the table as it headed closer to his groin.

“Lisa help!”

“Save him or the world Lisa...” Gold Star gloated.

Lisa thought long and hard.

“Lisa help!” James cried.

Lisa continued to ponder.

“Lisa for goodness sake! Help me!” James begged her.

She ripped off her pearls and threw them to the floor. Gold Star skidded and tripped on them. “Whoa!” and fell flat on his face and his remote to activate some sort of doomsday device smashed on his head and broke.

Lisa freed James Bond Jr.

“Wow! A laser! That’s so cool! We have to get one for HQ!” said James closely examining the laser that nearly killed him.

“James watch out!” Lisa warned him not to be so reckless.

“Yeeeeow!” James got zapped in the eye with the laser.

“James! Are you alright?!” Lisa asked.

“My astigmatism! It’s cured! I can see clearly now!” said James looking at his hands.

“I can see clearly now the rain is gooooooone!” Oscar sang I can see clearly now by Jimmy Cliff while playing his guitar.

Lisa winced.

“Yes that was the point of that laser. So you could clearly see me take over the world...” said Gold Star Scorpio.


Oscar’s scouts went to their trip to the soft play centre and ball pit. Nothing much happened except a kid’s diaper fell off in the ball pit and his older brother was disgusted to find a stinky wet diaper in the ball pit. “Eeeeeeew!” said the boy.

The younger boy who’s diaper it was giggled and blushed.