Forget it Marge, It’s Chinatown! The Simpsons go to China town. The Chinese themed district. Set during Hunka Hunka Burns in Love.
The chalkboard gag is is “Fun does not have a size.” Bart smiles and folds his arms. “For once I agree with that one hundred lines!”
The couch gag is a prison with spotlights shining and sirens going off during a prison break out. The Simpsons dig mole tunnels and break out of the ground to sit on a couch. They are dressed in cartoon prison outfits.
The episode starts with the Simpsons and Oscar in Chinatown.
“I like Chinatown.” said Lisa, but I wish they’d stop picking on Tibet town!”
Simpsons felt that they’d make a whole Chinese episode with their best China jokes later on. But for now we get a China picking on Tibet joke. There was a caged off area labelled Tibet town with Chinese people in there beating up Tibet people.
People were cheering.
“Oh it must be Chinese New Year!” said Marge.
There was a Chinese dragon dancing. However suddenly the animal control van arrived with sirens blaring. The officers got out with tranquilizer guns and shot the dragon. It roared and fell unconscious.
“Dojo! Nooooo!” Omi and his friends cried.
Bart sweat dropped.
“People buy them when their small and cute. Then they flush them down the toilet.” said the animal control people subduing a real Chinese dragon.
The Simpsons were baffled and decided to eat at a Chinese restaurant.
“I’ll have the shark butt with butt sauce my good man.” said Bart.
“Bart!” Marge yelled at him for ordering weird or disgusting things.
“Good choice sir.” said the waiter writing down Bart’s order.
“Oh....” Marge realized he was not just being silly. There really was shark butt on the menu.
“I’ll have prawn crackers, spring rolls, prawn toast, prawn balls with sweet and sour sauce, chicken chow main, ribs, crab claws...” Oscar orders loads of things.
“Just give him everything! He really likes Chinese food!” said Homer.
“I see sir.” said the waiter.
Lisa was ordering next.
“How is the feast of twelve delights with triple happiness sauce?” Lisa asked.
“Very unpleasant!” said the waiter.
“Okay I’ll have rice and vegetables with sweet and sour sauce.” said Lisa.
“Would you like bee bellies or cat noses with that?” the waiter asked.
“Neither.” Lisa was disgusted.
“Can we enhance your dining experience in anyway by hurting an animal?” the waiter asked.
“No!” Lisa said offended.
“Strangle a few squirrels!” said Bart.
“Bart stop it you big!” Lisa strangled Bart.
“Lisa stop that! Bart don’t upset your sister!” said Marge telling the kids off.
“I’ll have the bees.” said Hugo. Mmmmm! Bees...
“Excellent choice sir.” said the waiter.
“Um how is the Mongolian beef?” Homer asked.
“Oh very terrible sir. The Mongorian beef causes brown toilets! Very smelly and very painful!” said the waiter.
“okay I’ll have one of everything but double it. And I want Fugu.” said Homer.
“Dad, no!” Lisa warned him about the last time he had Fugu.
“Fugu me!!” Homer yelled.
He Simpson’s face palmed.
"Uh...excuse me, do you have any vegetarian options?" Grogre the vegetarian ogre asked at a table. Lisa sighed smitten by a fellow vegetarian. Even a smelly ogre...
The Simpsons are in mid eating. Hugo is throwing shrimps at Bart, triggering his allergies.
“Ow Mom!” Bart whined as his face swelled up.
“Hugo! Don’t do that to your brother!” Marge scolded him.
“Waiter is there a karaoke bar full of drunk salary men I can throw my kids in?” Homer asked.
“Why of course!” said the waiter.
“Yaaaay!” The Simpson kids and Oscar cheered and ran off to the karaoke bar.
“Now we have the table to ourselves sweetie.” said Homer.
“Homer Simpson, you devil!” Marge giggled.
At the karaoke bar was that beatnik singing for his girlfriend Gypsies, tramps and thieves by Cher again so Bart and his siblings had to wait their turn.
“Father would do what ever he coooooooouuuuulllddd!” The man sung.
“Let’s check the car park until there’s a spot on the karaoke.” said Bart.
Once again Bart and Oscar saw Mrs Krabappel making out with one of the chefs.
“Ay carumba!” Bart yelled.
Eventually there was a spot at karaoke once the drunk salary men stopped singing. Bart and Lisa once again did a duet singing the theme from Shaft. Hugo was eating bees.
Oscar went up next but only to cause feedback with the mike to make a loud ear splitting squeaky sound.
“Ow! Oscar that’s an audio feedback! Don’t do that!” Bart whined as he covered his ears. The sound was painful to Hugo and Lisa too.
Eventually the Simpson kids now relaxed finished their dinners in peace without any more food fights. The fortune cookies arrived.
“Fortune cookies! Now to see my future.” said Homer breaking open a fortune cookie to read his fortune. “Geese can be troublesome.” Homer read out loud.
A big, fat white goose honked and bit him.
“Ow!” Homer groaned. “These things are frighteningly accurate!”
A game developer at Nintendo decided a game about playing as an annoying goose would be a good idea...
The head waiter came over. Homer suggested a fortune for a fortune cookie.
“You will become aroused by a shampoo commercial.” was Homer’s idea.
“That is very good sir! Come with me!” said the head waiter/restaurant owner.
“Mmmmmmmm! Head and Shoulders...” Oscar moaned aroused.
Homer was taken to a back room where Woody Allen and several other people were typing up fortunes for the fortune cookies Woody screwed up and threw away a fortune he was unhappy with. He stuttered and blustered in a nerdy manner because he talks like a nerd.
“Why am I doing this? When I could be in a movie!” said Woody Allen.
The restaurant manager said Homer could do better than all of them put together and promptly fired them.
“Oh he’s like a young me!” said Woody Allen stuttering.
“No he has nothing on Yung Mi!” said a Chinese guy in a Hawaiian shirt.
At the Simpsons house Homer was wearing a cymbal on his head as a stereotypical Chinaman hat.
“You will invent a hilarious toilet seat. Fish will rain out of the sky! Your store is being robbed, Apu.” Homer came up with ideas for fortunes. “Are you writing these down Lisa?”
Lisa at a Chinese keyboard confused. “I don’t know.”
Oscar came in wearing a Chinaman hat doing a racist Chinaman impression by pulling at his eyelids so he was squinting and wearing big fake buck teeth. “Ohonhonhon! I am Chinese if you please! Me rikey the flied lice!”
“Oz stop that! That’s really offensive!” Lisa told him off. “I hope you don’t do that when you’re going back to Chinatown today!”
“He’s going there again?! Why?” Homer asked.
“There’s so much to see!” said Oscar.
“Like what?” said aHomer.
“The different restaurants and their quirks.... like the one we ate at had a karaoke bar and Mrs Krabappel making out with the chefs...” said Oscar.
“Okay I get the picture. Enjoy yourself spiky head...” said Homer.
Meanwhile Homer went back to the Chinese restaurant to eavesdrop on other customers such as his friends as they read the fortunes he wrote.
“You are a winner.” Lenny read his fortune. “Well ain’t that a note.”
Sea captain read his. “You will go on a voyage at sea. Arrrrr! I shall enjoy it!”
Then at his office Mr Burns ordered Chinese food but did not tip the delivery man because he is a greedy old miser.
“Smithers, this chicken is delicious! Much less stringy than the Chinese people I ate once.” Mr Burns had a possible memory of being a cannibal. Just because it’s funny for him to be eating people.
Then he read his fortune. It said he’d fall in love. He laughed. “No woman loves me! I’m positively evil! And proud of it!” said Mr Burns proud of being so evil.
“She could be an evil woman herself sir. Like Queen Mary Tudor.” said Smithers. “Or Medusa.”
“Hmmmmm! Yes a cruel seductress would be rather saucy! But who would go for well an older man like myself!” said Mr Burns.
“Oh you’re not old sir! Just very refined! And with lots experience of the world!” said Smithers.
“Thank you Smithers. Your incessant toadying and kissing up to me cheers me up.” said Mr Burns.
Mr Burns went womanising. First to a snooty billionaire party with all his rich friends.
He was embarrassed as his son Larry was offending them.
“Whoa! If your endowment gets any larger, we’ll all be in the shade!” said Larry Burns to a rich fat lady with big boobs.
She was offended and gasped at him glaring through her opera glasses she held on a stick.
“Larry! Enough of your lowbrow buffoonish excuse of charm! Behave or I shall have to hire a nanny for you!” Mr Burns scolded Larry.
“Sorry Pops, I’m going off to prank that guy in the live action Casper the friendly ghost movie with a Poltergeist bathroom mirror gag!” said Larry.
We cut to Casper the movie. Bill Pullman as the Dad was cleaning himself when his reflection turned into Clint Eastwood. “I’m gonna kill ya, your momma and all her bridge playing friends!”
Then his reflection turned into Rodney Dangerfield. “Hey, you think you have it tough? I had another face underneath this!”
Then he turned into a young, attractive Mel Gibson, before he became a drunk anti Semite. Young Mel Gibson admired himself.
Then Bill’s reflection turned into the Crypt Keeper who screamed and slapped his own cheeks like Kevin from Home Alone.
Bill Pullman screamed and ran away.
Meanwhile at the snooty party Mr Burns relaxed his son was no longer causing trouble was wooing a rich lady.
“And then I foreclosed her mortgage p, told Jacob Marly to go bother some other old miser and I took some old biddy’s cats...” said Mr Burns.
“Oh Charles you are so romantic! I have gone one whole minute with out saying’Well I never!’” said the rich lady.
“Oh my dear! I’m charmed! Let me get you another Thomas Collins!” Mr Burns went to get her a Tom Collins but Uncle Pennybags the monopoly guy whisked her away on his black train.
“You snooze you’re lose Monty! Ohohoho!” Uncle Pennybags laughed. “Oh another version of me from another dimension where I have a monocle!”
Mr Burns seethed with anger as he held the Tom Collins cocktail. “Oh that Pennybags! He boils my blood just as much as Scrooge McDuck!” XD Scrooge McDuck...
“Hoots mon! Have any of ye laddies or lasses seen ma lucky penny? Or my nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie?” said Scrooge McDuck.
“Ducktales! Woo-ooooooo!” Oscar sung on the champagne glass fountain.
“Get that filthy urchin out of here!” yelled Mr Burns,
Then Mr Burns in canon went to a raunchy nightclub where Smithers was frightened of the sexy ladies. Then Mr Burns fell for a lady ticket inspector who I think turned out to be Snake’s girlfriend.
The next day Marge for some odd reason heard about Mr Burns’s story arc somehow. And wished him good luck.
“Mom, some people like being alone.” said Lisa.
“And besides, that nasty Mr Burns doesn’t deserve happiness.” said Oscar.
“Oh no! I think everyone should be together somehow!” said Marge.
Marge pushed the dog and the cat together. Hugo laughed as he supported her weird shipping of the dog and the cat together.
Then she put the salt and the pepper together. Then she put Bart and Hugo together. Hugo smirked deviously and Bart glared and shuffled his chair away from Hugo.
Then Marge put a potted cactus next to Maggie. She knocked it over.
“Hmmmmm! I guess it was never meant to be...” Marge sighed.
“Do I have do every gag properly...” Oscar groaned. He magically turned himself into a baby sat at a high chair wearing a blue babygro with yellow spots. Marge put the cactus near him. He poked it and pricked his finger. The baby Oscar cried and wailed loudly.
“Ooooh! Why did you think that was a good idea sweetie?” Marge sighed picking him up and comforting him. “Homer, get me the med kit!”
The rest of Mr Burns’s saga in a Hunka Hunka Burns in love is just boring. Look Homer eats a pie and Mr Burns’s girlfriend turns out to be Snake’s girlfriend...
“Mmmmmm! Pie...” Homer moaned with joy while eating a pie.
Meanwhile Oscar was exploring Chinatown with Bart.
“Isn’t this episode called A Hunka Hunka Burns in love?” said Bart.
“Yeah but Google comes up with all sorts of similar names episode titles of other programs and cartoons.” said Oscar on his mypad. “Like this episode of Digimon called A Hunka Hunka BurningGreymon!”
“Oh No! Greymon! It’s one of the dark Digimon! Myotismon!” said Tai from Digimon.
“Greymon Digivolve to.... BurningGreymon!” said Greymon turning into BurningGreymon. Yes I know Tai’s Greymon never became BurningGreymon but I wanted to make the reference.
Bart rolled his eyes. “I just googled that and BurningGreymon was never in Tai’s season. He was in frontier...”
“The one where they turn into Digimon!?” Oscar asked.
“For a Digimon fan you don’t know your Digimon...” Takuya sighed.
“Can we please stop talking about Digimon...” Bart groaned.
Then they went to the restaurants.
”Wait, this scene of visiting quirky Chinese restaurants needs montage music!” said Oscar.
”No Oz!” Bart whined.
”Yes Oz.” said Oscar petulantly.
It suddenly started playing Driftveil City theme from Pokemon black and white as Bart and Oscar checked out the Chinese restaurants in little China town, including one with dead ducks hanging in the window.
In the restaurant they went in at the beginning of the episode. Oscar wanted Mongolian beef.
“Oh no Mongorian beef very spicy! Cause brown toilets and mega sore ass!” said the waiter.
“Megasaurus is my favorite dinosaur.” said Oscar with picture book of dinosaurs.
Then they ent to a restaurant with dead ducks hanging at the window.
“Eeeeew! Some dead skinless ducks!” said Bart.
A skinned and cooked duck came to life and quacked angrily at him.
Bart yelped and backed away.
Oh no. This restaurant does racist Chinaman impressions to entertain their drunk customers...” Lisa sighed.
“I can live with that...” said Oscar going to the restaurant. The owner doing a bad Chinaman impression wearing a ponytail hat warmly welcomed Homer in.
“Meesar Simpson San! We haven’t seen you in ages! You drinky lot now! You make me very rich!” said the owner.
“Homer how does this man know you?” Marge asked Homer.
“Um... I used to get drunk in his restaurant.” said Homer embarrassed.
“I do Chinaman impression for you! Me so solly! Me rikey the flied lice!”
Homer laughed. “That’s hilarious Mr Wong!”
“No it’s not! It’s offensive!” Marge was cross. “Mr Wong look after Homer please and keep him out of trouble...”
“Very well Marge...” Mr Wong sighed.
Then they came to a restaurant where Krusty and his father are eating Chinese food.
“Hey look! Krusty!” said Bart.
“He’s probably not observing a Christian holiday because he is Jewish by eating Chinese food. Which to him is Christmas dinner.” said Oscar. “I wouldn’t bother him. He’s off stage and not in his joking mood...”
Bart was bothering Krusty while he was trying to have a serious discussion with his father the rabbi.
That evening Homer had to be a wing man for Mr Burns and his girlfriend. At the end of the night Mr Burns had a very powerful aphrodisiac. He left some and Homer took it. It immediately made him madly in love with Marge and he carried her to bed where they had sex.
After sex they were gasping with happy exhaustion.
“Oh my! I hope the kids didn’t hear us!” Marge wondered out loud.
We see each of the kids horrified expressions as they lay in bed wide awake. Bart staring blankly, Lisa shivering in disgust, Maggie sucking her pacifier confused and Hugo wide awake in his canvas bed.
“Woooooow...” said Hugo.
The following morning, Oscar was eating noodles.
“So why did you decide to call the episode ‘Forget it Marge, it’s Chinatown!’?” Homer asked Oscar.
“Because I named it after when you were a teacher of relationships and marriage and you told people about your private bedroom antics and Marge got annoyed at you so you yelled about Chinatown. And because we went to Chinatown.” said Oscar eating noodles.
“Oh.” said Homer, satisfied he explained. “Well that’s my go to phrase to end arguments with Marge. Like when she wanted to take the family, me included to see Fatty and Smellma and I was like no way!”
There was some kind of argument between Homer and Marge about going to visit Patty and Selma. But it then went onto arguments about whether to make jack o lanterns out of pumpkins with scary or funny faces.
“Well I want scary Halloween! Not silly Halloween!” Homer yelled, over the bickering jabbering
Then the conversation led to Homer spitting sunflower seeds at Marge.
“Don’t you spit sunflower seeds at me!” said Marge
“Forget it Marge, it’s Chinatown!” Homer yelled, storming off.
“What are the arguing about now...?” Lisa sighed.
To the tune she’s just a devil woman by Cliff Richard Mr Burns went on a dating spree with various evil or criminal women such as a jewel thief, a former KGB interrogator, a wicked medieval queen.
“So his date with Snake’s girlfriend didn’t work out...” asked Bart.
“Nope. Mr Burns was too old for her.” said Oscar.
Meanwhile Oscar and Bart went to a Chinese restaurant In Chinatown of Springfield where there was a karaoke bar.
Oscar sung badly and off key.
“Hey! I do not sing off key!” He whined at the fourth wall.
Then they went to one with racist stereotypes of Chinese people speaking Engrish.
“Herro prease! Would you care for the shitty pork, the shitty chicken or the shitty beef?” said the Engrish speaking owner.
“Let’s get outta here...” Bart sighed but Oscar stopped him because he found the restaurant hilarious.
“Take seat. Just don’t order Mongorian beef! If give smelly brown toilets and mega sore ass! Oh herro Mongorians!”
There were Gengis Khan era Mongolian warriors sat at the tables. They glared at the owner.
“Narrator stop being racist..” Bart whined.
“He’s not! This is hilarious! Ahahaha! Look! Rice pickers with cymbals on their heads!” Oscar argued. He laughed at the stereotypical rice pickers with cymbal hats and long beards and long moustaches.
They laughed in a stereotypical Chinese way. “We are Chinese if you prease!”
Bart face palmed.
“They’re not finished being a racist caricature...” said Oscar as high pitched Chinese giggling filled the restaurant.
From the stairs to the upper balcony of tables came a cartoon Chinese man dressed in Qing dynasty clothes with a Qing era ponytail yellow skin, squinting eyes and big cartoon buck teeth.
“I am Chin Kee! Hehehehe! Me wearry rikey the flied lice!” Chin Kee chuckled continuing the racist caricatures.
“Holy crap! A Jiangshi!” yelled Oscar as Bart laid with his face on the table mortified by the racism.
“Eh?” Bart asked.
“A Chinese vampire.” said Oscar.
“I am not a Chinese vampire! I am from the Qing dynasty!” said Chin Kee.
Chin Kee sat down and drooled as his food was being served by the waiters.
“Now he just looks like my teddy bear Teddy with those big buck teeth...” said Oscar as his cartoon teddy bear creature had big buck teeth.