Faith Off Bart becomes a faith Healer. Oscar keeps bugging him about when he was a Scientologist. It’s true! Snowball II is memeing and something involving Nicholas Cage.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is “I will stop phoning it in.”
The couch gag is a Sigmund Freud look a like psychiatrist is sat in a chair. Homer lies on the couch and cries. “Oh Doctor I’m crazy!” He says while sobbing. The psychiatrist takes notes.
...
One late afternoon, Bart is studying his spellbook to learn how to turn frogs into princes for his next lesson.
“Kermit hermit!” He casts a spell with his magic wand and turns a frog into a cave dwelling hermit who hid in his closet.
”Well at least he’s human. I might get a C or D at least.” said Bart.
However Lisa marches in very angry with him.
"Bart! What did you do with the Monkey's Paw?!" Lisa yells.
"Yeesh! You're pretty mad! Look it's a long story...” said Bart.
”Of course I’m mad! That paw was a very powerful artefact! Who knows what trouble is could cause in the wrong hands?!” Lisa yelled.
“Lis, I’m trying to recall how I lost the monkey’s paw...” Bart sighed.
”Technically it’s a hand...” said Lisa.
After Homer gave the expired monkey's paw to Ned, which reset it. Oscar went to the house of evil where a better version of it, a gorilla's paw was for sale. The shopkeeper explained the difference between the two. One only grants four wishes, the other grants infinite wishes.
Oscar gave the Gorilla's paw as a gift. However the family kept calling it a monkey's paw because they're not very good with taxonomy.
"Just get to the part where it went missing!" Lisa demanded he hurry up.
Bart sighed and continued the story. One afternoon he took the paw to teach Jimbo a lesson. However the bullies took it from him and caused all sorts of chaos with it. Such as ending up in Bonestorm Arena and turning Bart into a baby. Bart explained he got the paw back, but wished for the gorilla it belonged to, so it would help him. However the angry one armed ape smashed up the place and chased Bart forcing him to return the paw to it. The paw revived and reattached itself to its original owner.
"And that's what happened. Honest." Bart replied.
”No! And then crazy stuff happened and Teddy as a slime monster Teddy slimed your diaper and glued you to things and sunk you in sinking slime...” Oscar went on and on.
”Yes I know, you got freaky with the episode because you ran out of things to write...” Bart groaned.
"You...! You're gonna have to buy a replacement! Now!" Lisa demanded.
"But they're extremely rare! Where am I gonna get another Gorilla paw..." Bart groaned.
"Just get one!" Lisa yelled.
...
Bart groaned as he thought of the events of Treehouse of Horror VIII...
One day in 1695 Springfield, Bartholomew has enough of living with his Dad Homer/Duhwood because he keeps strangling him.
"I wanna live with Mom!" Bartholomew packed his bags and ran off for the mountains where the witches supposedly lived.
He arrived at his Aunts' cave. Aunt Patty and Selma and Mom were there stirring a cauldron.
"Sweetie, what are you doing here?" Marge asked.
"I wanna live here with you and Aunt Patty and Selma! I wanna learn how to be a wizard!" Bartholomew replied.
Marge hrmmmed. "I'll speak with your father first..."
Marge spoke with Homer about Bartholomew living with her and learning magic. Homer agreed because Bartholomew was driving everyone nuts with his pranks.
Marge bought some supplies to teach Bartholomew magic. Bartholomew is shown learning simple magic.
...
Bart in the present is then reading his family tree. He sees that further back in time, during the medieval period that his ancestor/counterpart was a nomaj. (He couldn't do magic as he had none.) Where as his sister of that time was a witch.
"Ugh, just my luck..." Bart groaned.
Somewhere in Medieval Springfield.
Bart Serfson sneezes, as this is a common proverb that you sneeze when someone is talking about you.
"Cover your mouth when you sneeze Bart..." Marge told him.
Back in the present, Bart goes to the occult district where the bazaar and the House of Evil shop are. However neither of them have Gorilla paws for sale.
"We do sell frozen yogurt, that I call frogurt though!" The House of Evil shopkeeper explained.
"I'll pass..." Bart sighed.
...
Bart tells Lisa the bad news. She's not happy.
"Lisa, your brother tried, now stop bothering him!" Marge tells her.
"But he cost us a very powerful artefact!" Lisa groaned. "From now on you don't touch other people's stuff! Got it?!" Lisa told him off.
"Fine..." Bart sighed as he went to his room.
...
Meanwhile Serf Oscar is annoying Serf Bart by asking if he's seen Elfo from Disenchanted.
"No! I haven't seen Elfo! Stop trying to start a crossover!" Serf Bart groaned. Goblin Milhouse arrived.
"Hey Elfo." Oscar teased.
"Don't ask... He's nuts about Disenchanted again..." Serf Bart explained.
They decided to play goblin clobber with Milhouse and his clones.
"You do realise I'll run out of clones, sooner or later..." Goblin Milhouse explained.
"Just stand still..." Serf Bart sighed.
...
Meanwhile Bartholomew and Elizabeth are stirring a potion in a cauldron when a Dolph troll appears and his picking his nose. He has a long gooey booger stretching from his nose as he pulls it out.
"Ugh! Troll boogers..." Bartholomew groans.
Spryngfied Oscar winced and wet himself when he saw the Dolph troll pulling at a long gooey booger that was deep inside his nose.
...
In the present Bart is using the levitation charm on a bug because he's bored, however Lisa interrupts him.
"Bart! Montymort is attacking!" Lisa yells.
Bart grabs his spell book and runs down stairs.
Mr Burns as Montymort is stomping around town as a dragon and breathing fire.
"Dragon fly, Butterfly!" Lisa casted a spell that turned him into a butterfly.
"Curses! Foiled again!" Montymort flies back to his evil castle.
"Was there any point me being here..." Bart sighed.
"Well, if Mr Burns decided on not being a dragon I don't know what I'd need to do to defeat him, that's the only spell I read ahead on." Lisa replied.
However news arrived in the form of Principal Skinner that the Philosopher's bone had gone missing.
"Oh no! Now Montymort only needs the chamber pot of secrets and the prism of Jazzcabam!" Lisa groans.
They flew off on their brooms to retrieve it. Meanwhile Billy the wizard crashed into a building on his broom again.
"I'll take the eye of newt..." Billy groaned in concussion.