Simpsons Fanon

Deja Vu The Simpson’s feel some things are repeating themselves. Krusty makes a new vegan burger that makes everyone sick when they eat it, this time including Lisa! And Bart’s evil Ex girlfriend Jessica Lovejoy is planning something.


The titles altogether instead of the usual titles with a chalkboard gag and couch gag, Lisa wakes up from her bed lip syncing to Ke$ha’s Tik Tok. Which will be the name of a cringe worthy video messaging app...

”That’s not Kesha, it’s pronounced Keh Dollar sigm Ha.” said Ke$ha.

”That’s just moronic...” said Oscar.

Luca$ or Luca Dollar glared at him.

”Woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy!” Lisa sung.

”What up girl!” said Bart as P Diddy wearing sunglasses.

”Got my glasses on, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit the city!” Lisa sung she took Milhouse’s glasses.

”Hey! Those are my glasses!” Milhouse whined.

“Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack“ Edna Krabappel at the school sung while holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin' back!” Lisa sung.

Everyone else sings lines that suit what they’re doing.

For example when Ke$ha was singing about getting a pedicure, Marge and the ladies are in a beauty salon getting pedicures.

When Ke$ha sings about “Boys blowing up our phones!” Bart is putting M80s in the telegraph pole phones and blowing them up.

”Gonna get a little tipsyyyyy!” Homer sung while drinking at Moe’s but Marge comes in tapping her watch and tells him he must get home for the couch gag.

They pass more singing townsfolk and arrive home to the kids pointing at their wrists singing “Tick Tock, on the clock!”


Jessica Lovejoy furiously swept stationery off of her desk in her bedroom. “I hate him! Hate him! Oh did I mention that I hate him?” she asked Shelby and Spud.

“You may have mentioned it once or twice.” said Spud. A carnival boy who just looks like Oscar’s cartoon character Quiffy. If he was evil, had darker hair and a Jedi Padawan hair braid.

“Or eleventy billion times...” said Shelby. Bart’s archenemy from Shelbyville.

Jessica glared at him for his sarcasm.

“So whatcha gonna do?” Spud asked.

“Because I’ve ruled out freezing him and sending him away to Peru...” said Donny from The Debarted who is evil in my Fanon.

“Dang. I really thought that Peru idea would work...” said Spud.

“Guys focus!” said Lester.

“Oh I know exactly what I am going to do to my love Bart Simpson...” said Jessica laughing evilly.

Meanwhile Bart, Lisa, Hugo and Oscar went to school on the school bus.

“Bart we have the wrong lunches.” said Lisa Simpson to her brother. “Before you get ideas about sticking my carrot sticks up your nose again...”

Bart sighed and swapped their lunches.

“Otto what is with all the school posters for chemical formula and dictionary definitions stuck up?” Oscar asked looking at trivia posters.

“Oh Principal Skinner is on the warpath because another assessment test is coming up.” said Otto.

Bart and Oscar groaned.

“Again? Why do I get a feeling of Deja Vu?” Bart sighed.

At school everyone went straight to assembly.

“Tuesday is now Taco Tuesday. And unfortunately we will not be having Fridays as Hawaiian shirt day...” said Skinner.

Quiffy whined.

Bart grimaced and rolled his eyes at him. Quiffy was wearing a tacky Hawaiian shirt.

“And in other news, we will be having another important assessment test. So this month will be full of pencil sharpening and no lolly gagging...” said Skinner glaring at Bart.

“Ahem yes Seymour. I’ll take it from here... Kids as from our last assessment test this test determines how much money this suck shack gets in funds. So up until the test we will all be drumming the answers into your fragile egg like skulls.”

In Largo’s class the choir was singing to one of Beethoven’s symphonies. The boys sung “shy is to gregarious.”

“As peaceful is to bellicose!’“ the girls sung.

At lunch Lunch Lady Doris even helped by putting dictionary definitions in the alphabet soup lunch.

Wendell’s read “Nonplussed = surprised and confused.” Which was how he felt.

Oscar sung a silly song about his alphabet soup and Bart arranged the letters to spell swear words.

In fourth grade Mrs Krabappel had the class recite the test answer sheet codes. Man they must be desperate for that funding...

“Remember class. Abbacadabbacca. Repeat after me.”

“Abbacadabbaca...” the class recited the answer sheet codes. Bart put up his hand.

“Yes Bart...” asked Mrs Krabappel.

“Mrs K how is this different from me cheating on my tests...” said Bart.

“Well... I guess it isn’t. But this is what Skinner told me to teach you lot today. Now from the top! Abbacadabbacca...” said Mrs Krabappel.

Gym was now Coach Krupt asking trivia questions that the exam would most likely ask and throwing dodgeballs at students who gave incorrect answers.

He had just hit Lewis with a ball for giving a wrong answer or being too slow.

“Martin Prince.” said Coach Krupt.

“Yes Sir?” Martin asked.

“What is the capital of Montana? Answer! Stat!” said Coach Krupt.

“Helena?” Martin asked.

“Wrong!” said Coach Krupt. He threw a dodgeball hard at Martin and he cried as he was knocked out.

“Oscar Tamaki! What is the capital of Montana?” said Coach Krupt to Oscar.

“Hannah!” said Oscar being silly and grinning.

Bart face palmed.

Coach Krupt was in hysterics. “Oh! Ohohohoh! That’s the funniest answer I’ve had all morning! Oh! But also wrong.” He knocked Oscar out with a dodgeball.


“Bart Simpson! What is 912 divided by six?” said Coach Krupt.

“You can’t teach like this!” Bart yelled.

“Yes I can!” said Coach Krupt throwing a ball at him. “Studies show this method of teaching is actually very effective!”

“Where were these studies committed?” Martin dazed asked.

“Ball State!” yelled Coach Krupt and he threw a dodgeball at him.



In assembly Mr Largo was Percy Pencil again and Lunch Lady was Annie Answering Sheet.

“Now remember this song kids!” said Mr Largo dressed as a pencil.

“A B A B B C...” they were singing the answer codes.

“Are we just giving the kids the answers now?” Chalmers asked Seymour.

“They still have to write their names properly so we’re out out of the woods yet...” said Skinner.

Mr Largo and Lunch Lady Doris we’re still singing the answer codes.

“Percy Pencil you suck!” Oscar yelled.

“Now Oscar that is wholly inappropriate behaviour!” Skinner told off Oscar.

Suddenly Gonzales the Great, a Mexican wrestler stormed on stage and snapped Mr Largo like a twig and he screamed in agony.

Timmy Turner winced.


Meanwhile on Dr Mystico’s island.

Dr Mystico instructed his Orangumen to serve his guests dinner. A casserole and glasses of red wine.

Mr Lobe gasped.

“There is no need to be afraid Mr Lobe. My Orangumen mean no harm... unless I bid them otherwise...” said Tim Curry as Dr Mystico.

“Orangumen?!” Cosgrove was about to try some of his casserole.

“Yes... by combining human DNA with the indigenous apes here I have created a new species of ape! One more powerful than anything on Earth!” Dr Mystico ate a forkful of casserole and politely wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. “They called me mad! Insane! Wendell!” said Dr Mystico losing it and standing on the table.

“Ooooooh! That’s just terrible!” said Wendell sat at the table eating casserole for some reason.


The next assembly was Skinner explaining everyone needed number two pencils for the exam and everyone laughing.

Bart goaded Skinner by steering the conversation to make it seem lime he was making poop jokes.

“What size pencil should we bring again?” asked Bart.

“A number two. A big number two!” said Skinner.

“Looks like you took a big number two!” Bart giggled as everyone laughed.

“Yes I am holding it and appreciated its density and weight.” said Skinner.

Everyone laughed.

Chalmers sighed.

Then the school choir that Oscar was in started singing I’ve been working on the rail road! All the live long day! But they sung the answer sheet codes.

“Dabba Dabba Dab a dab a dabber. (Singing)”. sung the choir. “Dah Bah bah bah kah!”

Lisa was frustrated the school was helping the kids cheat rather than help them revise.


At recess Bart and Nikki’s relationship blossomed. In a musical scene Nikki sung About you now by the Sugababes.

“I know everything changes, all the cities and faces. But I know how I feel about yoooouuuu!”


“There’s a mountain between us, but there’s one thing I’m sure of. That I know how I feel about you!”

Then the chorus kicks in as they proclaim their love for one another. “I was dumb, I was wrong! I let you down! Let you down! But I know how I feel about you now!”

Lisa rolled her eyes at them proclaiming their love for each other.

“Ugh... Bart you used to be all about girls have cooties! Now you’ve ended up like Krusty... hopelessly in love...” Oscar was disgusted by their love for each other.

“Well I guess I was wrong. It feels good to be in love...” said Bart.

Nikki kisses him.

At home.

The Simpsons have dinner.

“And then they got us to sing the answer codes! Why doesn’t this school just stop being lazy and teach us kids the material that might be on the exams...” Lisa whined as she ate her vegetarian dinner.

“Probably because they know that they have to teach me...” said Bart smirking.

“Hmmmm! I have the strangest feeling of Deja Vu...” said Marge.

Mr Smithers bursted in. “Oh God! Maggie shot Mr Burns! Again!” He yelled.

The Simpsons sweat dropped.


At school Oscar was in choir practice. They were singing I’ve been working on the rail road! All the live long day! But with the answer codes as lyrics.

“What are you gonna repeat next Oz?” Bart sighed wearing in his catholic choir boy robes.

“Cannibalistic teachers!” said Oscar.

“No...” said Bart.

“Freddy Krueger Willie!” said Oscar.


“Then what? Every time I say something you say no!” said Oscar annoyed.

“Fine you can bring back one thing. But nothing too destructive...” said Bart.

At recess Oscar brought back Jake Boyman.

“Guys you should realise by now it’s just me, Lisa.” said Jake in Lisa’s voice.

“No because Jake likes being pushed in the mud!” said Oscar pushing Jake into a puddle of mud.

“No I don’t like that!” Jake whined getting up and trying to wipe off some of the mud.

At home time after there was a practice test.

“So Bart What book did you write about on your test paper?” Lisa asked her brother.

“Slurp my snot!” Bart said rudely.

“Baaaart!” Lisa whined telling him off.

“That’s What I wrote! I coloured in the answer circles so they spell Slurp my snot in capital letters.” said Bart.

“Again?! Bart stop ruining the test for us! The school badly needs that funding!” Lisa yelled.

“Well duh! They need it so badly they’re helping us cheat the exam!” said Bart.

“You’re boring! I wanna carpool with Jake Boyman!” Oscar whined.

“Oscar I keep telling you Jake Boyman isn’t real! He’s just a persona I made up when the town got divided up into men and women!” said Lisa.

“Really? Because he seems a lot cooler and less of an obnoxious know it all...” said Oscar.

The Simpsons got home but Bart heard his ex girlfriend Jessica call him.

He turned round with a start to find her with his enemies Spud, Shelby, Larry lil Larry Newell, Lester and Eliza and of course Donny.

“Oh great, I’m ten and I all ready have a team of mortal enemies...” Bart whined.

“Like a Sinister Six?” Oscar asked.

“I’d say more like a Legion of Doom.” said Lisa.

Plot 2[]

The evil super team of Bart’s mortal enemies, just the youngsters of course converged on the Simpsons.

“Wait! We have our own team or avengers! Or Justice league which ever comic book corporation you support...” said Oscar. “Bart with his quick wits, pranking devices and super hero forms! Lisa with her highly intelligent brain and her saxophone. Me with my magic drawing powers to bring anything to life just by drawing it! Hugo and his doomsday devices!” said Oscar.

“Like my apocalypse suit! Mwuhahaha!” Hugo built an armoured suit like Bart’s robot body from Treehouse of horror XVI.

“Uh sure... and Milhouse with his security blanket and Jake Boyman!” Oscar some how made Jake Boyman real even though he is just Lisa in disguise.

“Well what do you say to that insidious evil doers?” said Bart.

“Um... let’s cheese it!” said Shelby and they retreated.

“Well that was rather easy.” said Bart.

They went inside where there was a Krusty burger commercial on.


Meanwhile a few minutes ago. At Krustylu studios.

Krusty was playing Chess with Mr Teeny.

“Gotcha! You’ve fallen right into my trap! Just like you did in Africa...”

Mr Teeny smoked a cigar and frowned.

An accountant came in with news.

“Krusty we have some bad news about your home pregnancy kits.” said the accountant.

“Hey hey! You’re pregnant and it’s not mine! Hooahahaha!” said the high pitched Krusty on the electronic home testing kit.

“They’re giving too many false Hey Heys.” said the accountant.

“Damn that Moe and his forget me shots!” Krusty yelled spilling the chess set. He thought long and hard. “Remarket then as coffee stirrers and sell them off to the Philippines...” said Krusty.

“That’s very clever Krusty!” said the accountant. He had more news.

“Krusty scientists have studied your a Krusty Burger. They’ve found it extremely unhealthy and fattening!” said a Jewish accountant. “It even violates WHO standards on fast food.”

“How unhealthy?!” Krusty asked.

“Well get this. The regular Krusty Burger is somehow even more fattening and more calorific than the double Krusty Burger...” said the account guy.

“It is?!” Krusty gasped.

“Yes somehow.” said the account guy. “Now you need to do something. Caesar Barber might sue again. The poor guy’s gonna have no money left!

Krusty thought long and hard...

“Okay here’s what we’ll do. We’ll make a new healthy burger one without any Hard pore corn... mmmmmmM dirty spoonerisms... hehehe! Like Muck luck! Or Buck Futta! Hehehehe!” Krusty laughed.

“Krusty please...” the accountant sighed.

“And none of those weird he she sounding things...” said Krusty.

“Trans fats?” The accountant asked.

“Yeah.” said Krusty.

In the circus of the Krusty the clown show Sideshow Mel was with three orange sentient plutonium rods from the smiling Joe Fission cartoon.

“I’m high density lipoprotein!” said one orange rod.

“I’m low density lipoprotein!” said another.

“And I’m trans fats.” said a cross dressing one.

“Get outta here you freak!” The other two yelled.

Back in Krusty’s room.

“And take one of those uh healthy things kids hate.” said Krusty.

“Vegetables?” The accountant asked.

“Yeah. Make a burger out of one random vegetable and one grain for the bun. And spray some nicotine on it. Get the kids hooked! Hehehe!” said Krusty.


Back at the present was said burger in an advertisement. The Krusty Good Morning Burger. Not affiliated with the greasy unhealthy Good Morning Burger from the commercials Homer was watching once.

The advert was Krusty as a farmer. The sun then ate a burger.

“The sun is aliiiiiive!” Oscar screamed being stupid.

“Quiet boy.” said Homer grumbling.

The commercial was about American wholesomeness and families and shit...

“It’s made from wheat fed Barley!” said Krusty. Cannibalistic vegetables!

“And it’s vegan! Hooahahaha!” Krusty laughed.

“The Simpsons are going to Krusty Burger!” said Lisa joyfully.

The Simpsons groaned.

At Krusty Burger Apu bought the new wholesome healthy burger because it was vegan.

“At last. A burger for the Hindu!” said Apu eating it. “Now no one can tell me I’m not a true American!” He then danced off doing a silly dance.

Oscar laughed at his dancing.

The Simpsons had the veggie burgers. Because they’ll want to be the first trying the new burgers.

“Look I’m saving the world!” said Homer eating a large veggie burger in one bite. “Where’s my Nobel prize?!”

I so want to eat a vegan burger or food and yell that sarcastically to annoy stupid vegans arguing that not eating meat saves the environment because less livestock farting. Despite that dinosaurs, which existed before humans, farted a lot.

I like how Homer and Bart the two avid meat eaters are trying the veggie burger.


At home Homer was sleeping off his burger. However his stomach made a very unhappy groan.

“What’s a matter stomach? Can’t sleep?” Homer asked his stomach. It groaned again. “Want some beer to settle you...?” It groaned again and he realised as he felt very sick. “Oh crap! Not again!” He ran to the bathroom. “Those burgers were tainted! Why did I eat 12?!”

He went to his bathroom. But Marge was in there being sick. “Occupied!”

Homer went to the kids bathroom. “Chucking up!” Bart groaned because he was in there being sick.

Homer then went to the downstairs lavatory. But to his shock Lisa has also got sick. “Hurling!” Lisa groaned.

“Well look who’s on the barf express! Oh crap!” said Homer taunting her but suddenly clasped his mouth because he was about to hurl. He ran into Lisa’s room and threw up in her saxophone again.

And Maggie threw up in her jack in a box again. And of course this annoyed and disgusted Clownja.

The extra characters, that’s Hugo, Oscar and Eric were throwing up in the garden.

“Uuuuuugh! What did I eat...” Oscar groaned.

Even the teachers at school got sick.

“This is Principal Skinner. Unfortunately school is closed due to an unforeseen sickness... not caused by vegan steamed hams...”

“Skinner give it up... you clearly bought Krusty burgers for lunch...” Chalmers sighed feeling very sick. “Now comfort me with reassuring thoughts.”

“Test scores are climbing sharply... Attendance is up...” said Skinner.

Chalmers sighed happily.


At the Simpsons the news was on. Kent determined what made everyone sick. “We nailed it to one ingredient. Barley, imported from our neighbour Ogdenville.”

“Ooooooh! That Ogdenville...” Homer groaned wrapped up in a duvet.

“I don’t get it! Ogdenville aren’t nasty like Shelbyville! They wouldn’t have intentionally poisoned us!” said Lisa.

“Well ya see Kent what happened was a big ol rat got caught up in the combine harvester blades. But it’s all cleaned up now.” said a Norwegian sounding farmer. Ogdenville is formed of Norwegian immigrants. Sadly no world famous children’s authors or witch hunting grandmas...

“I ate a rat?!” Hugo yelled and threw up into the sick bucket.

“That’s like me finding out I ate meat accidentally! Oh wait I did! Bleeeeeeuuughhh!” said Lisa being sick.

“Uh guys eating rats is disgusting and dangerous.” said Oscar. Everyone vomited on cue.

“You people are such wusses...” said werewolf Bart from Treehouse of Horror XVI. He swallowed a rat in one gulp.


The Simpsons then pondered who’d help them recover from their sickness now that Lisa was sick too.

“I already prepared for such an eventuality.” said Hugo. I reprogrammed Robot Pierce Brosnan to no longer be a murderous love obsessed robot.”

Robot Pierce Brosnan came in with a tea tray.

“By my circuit’s and my dry British charm, I have calculated you will only be able to tolerate weak tea and toast. And I am simply incapable of harming any of you. I am at your most urgent needs Simpsons...”

“Good because I want to spend my sickness watching Pierce Brosnan films!” said Oscar.

The Simpsons groaned.

Eventually they all recovered and were eating KFC and replacing lost salts and sugars by drinking Lucozade.

“What on Earth is Lucozade...” said Bart.

“A British energy and osmosis rehydration drink.” said Oscar.

Once they were much better and Maggie and Eric stopped using the chicken bones as pacifiers.

Bart saw that Lisa, the vegetarian was eating tofu. He noticed Maggie and Eric sucking the chicken bones like pacifiers. He took Maggie’s bone and threw it at Lisa.


“Now I’m better...” said Bart.


The Simpsons except Homer went to Ogdenville. Because he hates Ogdenville.

Basically it’s Norwegian. To the Simpsons that meant moustaches, funny sneezes (An Ogdenville man with a moustache sneezed a funny sneeze), strong alcohol that Homer, if he could bring himself to go to Ogdenville, would not be able to handle.

Hugo made a “bitch” Homer from rehydrate capsules that was too stupid to realise he hated Ogdenville.

“One of your finest drinks please.” He said sitting at a bar. The tavern owner gave him a strong Ogdenville drink he paid for. He drank a sip then fell across the bar unconscious.

Marge sighed.

Also because of its Norwegian ancestors...

They encountered the world’s finest witch hunters, because they had to live with the most dangerous witches. Including the Grand High Witch!

Angelica Houston fires eye lasers at people.

And beloved children’s author Roald Dahl.

Dahl spoke nonsense about snozzcumbers and Hornswogglers...

“Dahl stop speaking gibberish...” an Ogdenville man explained.

“Oz no! He’s so lame!” Bart whined.

“No he’s not! A quack ripped off his father’s arm mistaking a fracture for a dislocation!” said Oscar.

Then Roald’s adult stories, the ones without nonsense words and vegetarian giants and chocolate factories, were adapted into a TV series. He also wrote You only Live Twice. Sadly even the movie did not have nonsense words, or vegetarian giants or chocolate factories or giant peaches...

Monkey from Monkey Hero was in Roald Dahl’s back garden about to take a bite from the giant peach.

“Don’t even think about it pal!” Roald Dahl told him off.

Then Maggie learned to speak Norwegian or in Marge’s words Ogdenville-ese, and kept saying ja! Which means yes.

“Ja!” said Maggie.

Marge made a ridiculous gasp. “Maggie’s first words are in Ogdenville-ese!”

Then Homer went Donald Trump and built a wall to keep the Ogdenville people out of Springfield and Marge and Lisa strangely supported him.

“It’s beautiful!” said Trump. Admiring the wall.

“I don’t want your approval you horrible man!” said Homer.

“Errrrrr... it’s 2009 and Obama is still president. Can we save the racist walls until much later Matt...” Oscar sighed.

“I can see the future! I warned you people! I warned you!” Matt yelled.

“There have been a lot of wall episodes...” said Bart.

“Three is not a lot Bart...” said Lisa.

Plot 3[]

Eventually Homer realised he had gone from his odd hatred of Ogdenville to Trump level racism and tore down the wall. The Ogdenville people moved in.

“Can we come too?” asked Shelbyville.

“No! We hate each other!” Springfield yelled.

“Oh yeah... Death to Springfield!” said Shelbyville.

Bart was skateboarding when he met a blond Ogdenville boy wearing a basketball kit skateboarding.

The boy with a heavy Norwegian accent challenged him to a skate off. It ended with Bart forgetting to lie down to skate under the school boss and spraining or dislocating his arm slamming into it.

The Simpsons were at hospital with lots of Ogdenville men sneezing funny sneezes.

“Even their sneezes are odd...” said Homer.

“Bart Simpson. Dr Hibbert will see you now.” said the smoking nurse.

“Ahehehehe! A leg, now an arm? Well Bart, this is gonna cost you an arm and a leg! Ahehehehe!” Dr Hibbert chuckled as he set Bart’s arm in plaster and gave him a sling. “By which I mean your medical bill.”

Marge sighed.

To save money the Simpsons went home sat Bart in the kitchen with his shirt off and Homer put a dog toy in Bart’s mouth to bite down on and held him tight while Marge pulled his injured arm back into place because it was dislocated not sprained. Bart screamed in pain but his scream was muffled.

”Ow that smarts...” said Bart checking his arm which was much better now but ached a bit.

Then Homer drank strong Ogdenville alcohol and went to work drunk the next day. He was rude to Mr Burns and fired.

“You’re fired!” Mr Burns yelled.

“Oooooooh! Homer groaned lying on the sofa at home.

“Ja! Ja! Ja!” Maggie repeated.

“We have had had nothing but misfortune sense those Ogdenville people arrived! I’m afraid you’re right Homer we need to get rid of them!” said Marge.

“No racist Trump walls!” Oscar and Lisa yelled.

“Look kids! Look what has happened because of Ogdenville! We all got sick from tainted rat burgers! Bart dislocated his arm! Homer lost his Job! And Maggie is speaking Ogdenville-ese!” said Marge.

“Ja! Ja! Ja!” said Maggie.

“No she’s not... Clownja just taught her to talk...” said Oscar.

“Ja! Ja! Ja!” said Clownja repeating parts of his name like a Pokemon.

Lisa was next to lose her reasonable ways against Homer’s xenophobia towards Ogdenville.

She met Bart’s new friend from Ogdenville, the blond Norwegian boy.

“I have some flowers for you missy.” He offered her flowers.

“Ooooooh! How romantic!” said Lisa.

However they were a particular flower that triggered her hay fever, like almost every flower in Cypress Creek. Lisa’s eyes watered and she sneezed violently with orange pollen on her nose. “Aaaachooooooo! Oh no! My allergies! Achoooooo!” She kept sneezing.

At home.

“Well...” said Marge.

“I’m allergic to their stupid flowers...” Lisa groaned bunged up.

Before they could get to work expelling the Ogdenville people again and building racist Trump walls they had to deal with Jessica Lovejoy and her gang of Bart’s enemies, Spud, Lester, Donny, Shelby etc. Note, this kid villains, not adults like Bob and Dr Demento...

“Mwuhahahaha!” Jessica Lovejoy cackled. She has a shrill creepy laughter like Alexia Ashford from Resident Evil Code Veronica X.

”Oh no! What do we do now Oz?” Lisa begged.

”Hold on, I’m thinking...” said Oscar.

”Well hurry Oz!“ Bart begged him as the bullies closed in on them.

”I know! We’ll sing Ke$ha’s Tik Tok at them!” said Oscar.

”No...” Bart groaned exasperated.

”Then what?!” Oscar snapped.

”Oz we are not singing copyrighted songs at them!” Bart groaned.

”I want to! Ke$ha is cool! Apart from having dollar signs in her name for Ss, which is stupid!”

”Oz stop going on about Ke$ha!” Bart yelled.

”Right that’s it! Jessica’s legion of doom just got bigger!” Oscar snapped.

He summoned the cadets from when Bart went to military school. They hated Bart for standing up for his sister.

Oscar then summoned Arthur who immediately squealed on Bart. “I’m telling!”

Bart got out a voodoo doll of Arthur and stuffed fire crackers up the doll’s butt.

Oscar then summoned Adil. He’s evil and soviet....

”The Soviet Union is disbanded...” said Adil. “Albania is independent now. We very much hate Serbs!”

Oscar rolled his eyes. He summoned David the robot boy.

”I see dead people.” said David the robot.

”Oz enough of the Haley Joel Osment gags!” Bart groaned.

”David, here’s a giant key. Go fight the Heartless.” said Oscar giving David the robot a giant key.

Bart winced.

”I mean the.... Bear necessities! The simple bear necessities!” Oscar sung.

”Right that’s it! I’m outta here!” Bart stormed off.

”After him!” Jessica yelled. “Don’t worry about the fruit loop! Get Bart!”

”I am not a fruit loop! I’m hilarious!” Oscar retorted.

Then Ke$ha annoyed Marge because her lyrics were explicit.

“ I'm talkin' 'bout everybody gettin' crunk, crunk
Boys try to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he gettin' too drunk, drunk” Ke$ha sung.

”That’s quite enough Ms Ke$ha! I will not have you sing those kind of lyrics front of my children!” Marge said sharply.

Ke$ha sighed and rolled her eyes.

At a town meeting.

“I propose that no Ogdenvillian be allowed within the city limits of Springfield.” said Quimby at his podium.

“I share your xylophobia.” said Homer.

”Dad, you mean "xenophobia." "Xylophobia" would be a fear of xylophones.“ said Lisa.

”I am afraid of xylophones. It's the music you hear when skeletons are dancing.” said Homer scared.

Bart winced. Dad what the Hell?!

“Very well. Springfield will ban immigrants and xylophones.” said Mayor Quimby. ”All in favor say "aye."

All: “Aye!”

“The border is now closed. And Xylophones are now banned.” said Mayor Quimby.

“You'll never take my xylophone!“ Mr Largo yelled and he fled on tiptoes while playing cartoon tip toe music on a xylophone.

Bart grimaced exasperated.


In town the cops confiscated Xylophones from Mr Largo, Oscar and the blonde haired girl with goggles from Oscar’s Orchestra. There definitely was a xylophone character in it...

However Homer’s xylophone ban unleashed an army of angry skeletons with xylophones. They played their xylophones, with bones as the keys and drumsticks or Xylosticks you play it with.

Homer screamed.

Then Homer wanted to do an UP reference at the border and tied balloons to a chair. But he was too heavy.

”Ooooooh! Lenny and Carl you try.” Lenny and Carl took his spot in the chair but it was pulled up into the air and vanished with Lenny and Carl.

”Oh no!” Homer lamented.

Up in the atmosphere Lenny and Carl shivered because the air gets very cold up there.

Amusingly the UP house floated past with balloons attached to it.