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Deep Space Homer Homer gets a job as an astronaut. Chaos insues with planet of the apes references and giant space ants!

Plot[]

Homer is working at the plant when there is an announcement.

"Attention all workers! Please proceed to the auditorium for the mandatory worker of the week awards ceremony! That is all!" said Smithers over the plant speakers.

"D'oh!" said Homer.

Everyone went through the X ray machine so security could scan for any weapons or other forbidden objects.

Two officers are monitoring the machine, we see what they're seeing.

"Safe. Safe. Pistol. Safe. Knife. Safe. Uzi. Safe. Two kids posing as an adult..." said the security officer to his colleague. “Oh hey Homer!” They greeted Homer in a friendly manner and let him through as safe despite his X Ray showing he had a gun on him.

“Hi!” Homer waves at his friends the security guards.

A shifty looking man in a trench coat and wide brim hat that Homer had never seen at work before was immediately stopped by security. They ripped off the man's coat to reveal he was just Bart and Milhouse on each other's shoulders.

"Two kids in a trench coat... oldest trick in the book..." said a guard.

"Bart!" Homer yelled. "What are you doing here?!"

"I dunno." said Bart feigning innocence.

Strangely the guards didn’t bat an eyelid at a duck wearing a safety hat waddling into the hall and quacking.

“Hi Stuart!” said the security guards to the duck.

After this incident the workers who were clear went inside the hall and sat down.

"I never win an award!" sighed Homer.

"Cheer up Homer." said Carl. "You'll have to win one at some point!"

"How?" Homer asked.

"Union rule 26. Every employee must receive an award once regardless of gross negligence, colour or odor." said Carl.

Homer and his friends chuckled.

“Hehehehe! Odor...” Homer chuckled.

Smithers then called for silence. Everyone was quiet.

Mr Burns spoke. "Gentlemen, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters! And there is a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya!"

Smithers whispered in his ear that the Boer War ended over a hundred years ago and that he was at the power plant and was in charge of the Worker of the Week awards.

"Oh! I mean it's time for the Worker of the Week award!" said Burns after Smithers corrected him.

"Awww... I wanted a donkey..." Homer sighed.

"Now it seems we have over looked this great Worker, (Homer pays attention) Who has served us many years. (Homer thinks he is being talked about) Who we could not live without... (Homer gasped) The inanimate carbon rod!"

Homer cried in disappointment as everyone cheered.

The green carbon rod from the title sequence was given a medal.

Everyone commented on the glowing green rod as if it were normal for r Burns to make inanimate objects employee of the month.

Homer grumbled and sulked, becoming bitter towards the rod.

After the assembly he went back to his work station furious.

“Okay Inanimate carbon rod! You’ve just made the list!” He snapped getting out a piece of paper titled Homer’s enemies and slapped it on his desk and wrote on it with a marker pen.

The names listed were as follows. “Ned (Stupid) Flanders” with Ned crossed out and Stupid underlined furiously. “Homer Simpson” yes he considers himself his own worse enemy. Especially after that time in Treehouse of Horror IV when he left himself an IOU for an emergency donut inside a hollowed out book. “Martin Prince.” After Bart’s soapbox car derby race. And now he had just finished writing “Inanimate Carbon Rod.

...

That evening the Simpsons were having dinner. Homer surprisingly didn't feel hungry.

"Homie what's wrong?" Marge asked.

"I didn't get an award! They gave it to a stupid inanimate carbon rod!" Homer groaned. "I get shafted by an inanimate object?!"

"Wow! You got to see the rod!" Bart asked.

"For just once I want to be know for something..." Homer sighed. "Nobody respects me..."

"We respect you, Homie." said Marge.

Bart was writing "Insert brain here." On the back of Homer's head and he and his sister, Lisa were giggling.

"Bart! Don't write on the back of your father's head!" Marge told off Bart.

"What does it say?! What does it say?!" Homer yelled getting up from the table and spinning around really, really fast! (To read what was written in the back of his head.) He drilled himself into the floor and through the ground. The family looked down into the large, deep hole he made.

"It's dark down here..." Homer groaned.

Homer then went to watch TV. (How he got out of that hole, I don't know.)

"Ah... TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!" said Homer as he switched on the TV.

"You stupid- (Hysterical laughter)" a man on the TV says seemingly to Homer while laughing.

"Aaaaawww,,," Homer groaned.

Homer turned the channel over to the Duff in the jungle commercial. However it was interrupted by a space rocket launch at the Cape Canaveral research centre in Florida.

Some guy called Tom and a war general were yakking on about a rocket that had just been launched to test the effects of zero gravity on tiny screws.

Homer tries to turn it over but the batteries fall out of the remote. "Agggh!" he screams trying to find then to put them back in.

The astronauts were then being interviewed.

"We have a mathematician, another mathematician and a physicist." said Tom.

Bart came in.

"Oh no! A boring space launch! Dad quick turn it over before Lisa comes in!" Bart yelled.

"I'm trying but the batteries won't go in!" Homer yelled.

Bart jumped at the TV and switched it over from the monitor. It went onto an episode of the Cosbies.

"Did somebody say space launch? Oh... an episode of the Cosbies... never mind..." Lisa came in inquisitive but realised Bart and Homer were watching a comedy and left to go back to her room.

Bart and Homer sighed with relief.

...

Meanwhile at the Cape Canaveral space centre. The scientists have some bad news.

"Sir there's a problem with the mission!" said a scientist.

"Oh dear God!" said the army general guy. "What is it?!"

"These Nielsen ratings are the lowest ever!" The scientist gave him some paper that came out of a printer.

"Dear lord! We've been beaten by the Cosby show!" said the general.

A meeting was called.

"Gentlemen! We're in danger of losing our funding! The average American just doesn't like watching Space Launches no more!" said the general.

"Maybe we should tell them the big secret! That all the chimps we sent into space came back super intelligent!" suggested a scientist.

"No! I don't think we'll be telling them that!" said Darwin Thornberry wearing a suit. He hooted and chattered in chimp sounds while roller skating out of the meeting.

"No... what we need is to make space launches fun for the average American!" said the general.

"But sir! The average boorish American is stupid! They just like watching daft comedies!" a scientist replied. He brought out a TV and showed clips of hackneyed comedies.

A guy had supercharged his tractor lawnmower. However it went backwards, smashed up a fence and ran over his neighbor.

"Oh no! I killed Wilson!" said the character. "Well, it's back to jail for me..."

Then in another comedy a lady wanted to have sex with her boyfriend/husband.

"No Peg." said the man. He flushed a toilet that was in the lounge next to the couch they were sat on.

The audience laughed.

The army guy clicked his fingers and two security guards dragged the scientist out of the meeting.

"Gentlemen. The people have spoken! They don't want to see athletes and nerds on space launches! They want to see themselves on those missions! We can no longer be so elitist!" said the army guy.

"General?! Are you nuts?! What if they cause an accident?" a scientist argued.

...

Homer then rang up NASA to complain about their boring space launches and wanted some Tang.

"Hold on." He went off and flushed a toilet.

"Gentlemen, we've found our new astronaut!" said the General. However Homer had put the phone down.

Homer then rang up Bill Clinton and demanded some Tang.

"Um excuse me? How did you get this number?" Bill asked.. He had no idea what Tang was.

The next day the army general and a scientist visited the Simpsons.

"Sir did you call NASA last night?" the general asked.

"No! It wasn't me! It was the boy!" Homer lied thinking he was in trouble.

"Sir, how would you like to be an astronaut?" the general asked Bart. “You’d earn the respect and admiration of your family.”

"Well...." Bart pondered.

“Nooooo! It was me! I made the crank call! I do it all the time! Check with the FBI! I have a file! I have a file!” Homer cried.

“Hmmmm... better take both of them.” said the general.

However the scientist knocked Bart and Homer out with a black shoehorn thing.

"Do you have to do that to everyone we speak to?!" The general yelled.

"No not really..." the scientist replied.

...

Homer woke up at a space research centre with Barney.

"Barney?! What are you doing here?" Homer asked.

"I don't know! I just woke up here!" Barney replied.

The General and a scientist explained why they were here. They were both selected to be astronauts to make space launches exciting to the average American. They were shown on stage in front of a team of reporters.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I give you our new astronauts! These um guys..." He addressed Homer and Barbey. The reporters clapped half heartedly.

"Any questions?" The general asked.

"Is this a joke?!" A reporter asked.

"No! Any other questions?" The general asked.

"No really, is this a joke?" a female reporter asked.

"No Linda it's not a joke! Now any other questions? Ones not asking if this is a joke!" said the general. Mostly everyone put their hands down.

"I have one for the barbecue chef." a reporter asked. "Do you think it's safe to send dangerously under qualified people into outer space?"

"I'll field this one General!" Homer took the microphone. "The only danger is if we land on that horrible planet of the apes!" Everyone groaned at Homer making movie references. "Wait, Statue of Liberty! That was our planet! You maniacs!! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" Homer screamed and started hitting the stage floor while crying.

The General called for the conference to end and curtains shut in front of Homer who was still quoting Charlton Heston...

...

The General explained that only one of them could go into space so they were being tested to see who was the fittest. However no alcohol was permitted during the tests.

"No beer?! But I'll go crazy without it!" Barney explained.

Homer tried to get Barney eliminated from the programme by explaining to the General that he had a serious alcohol problem. "Meet me by the tree, I'll tell you more..."

Plot 2[]

At dinner Bart was proud of his father for finally having a job to be proud of.

"I feel so... what's that word? The opposite of shame?"

"Pride?" Marge asked.

"No not that far from shame." Bart replied.

"Less shame?" Marge asked.

"Yeah..." Bart replied.

The next day was the tests. Barney showed off doing cartwheels while reciting a geeky tongue twister. Homer tried to copy him but banged his head.

Then they were put in a centrifuge. The G forces turned Homer into Popeye!

"I can't stands no more!" said Popeye Homer.

Then their breathing was tested to make a ball reach the top of a tube filled with some kind of substance. However Homer drank it.

"Mmmmm! Mediciney!" said Homer patting his stomach.

Then Homer and Barney had a Klingon Bat'leth fight in an arena!

"Who's idea was this?!" The General asked in disbelief.

"I bet 400 Quadloos on the fat guy." said a scientist watching with his colleagues.

Finally Homer and Barney met the two famous astronauts they'll be working with.

Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon. "Second is just after first!" said Buzz. And Race Banyon, whoever that is.

Homer thought there was a swimsuit competition as he was wearing a swimsuit. But there wasn't.

"You mean I shaved my bikini line for nothing?!" Homer gasped.

"Gentlemen you were both brilliant! In fact I'd like to say you were both winners! But there can only be one winner! Congratulations Barney!" said the General.

Homer groaned.

"This calls for a toast!" said the General. He poured them all some wine.

However when Barney drank his he went crazy and grabbed the wine and ran off drinking it and laughing.

"I don't get it! That was non alcoholic wine!" said the General.

"Uh yeah, I switched the bottle at the last second while you were all talking. And I'd do it again." said Oscar. He was holding the actual bottle of non alcoholic wine.

"Well, Homer, I guess that makes you the winner by default..." said the general.

"Woohoo! The two sweetest words in the dictionary! De and fault! Default! Default! De-" Homer cheered however the scientist knocked him out with the shoehorn thing.

"Where did you get that anyway?" The general asked.

...

Meanwhile the family were watching Itchy and Scratchy. It was a space themed episode called "in space no one can hear you scream!" Scratchy was an astronaut eating a sandwich. Suddenly he had stomach pains and Itchy ripped out of his stomach like a chestburster from Alien and ate his sandwich.

Bart laughed.

"Bart that's not funny considering your dad is going into outer space! Speaking of which I better check on him..." Marge told off Bart as Itchy ejected Scratchy through the airlock, sliced him in half on the rings of a Saturn like planet causing his lower half to fall and burn up in the planet's atmosphere and then squeezed Scratchy's head until it inflated and exploded.

Bart laughed hysterically at the violence. Marge groaned as she left.

Marge got a scared phone call from Homer.

"Marge, I'm not sure I'm ready for this!" said Homer having ran away from the rocket at the last minute to call her.

Marge reassured him and explained this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and not to waste it.

"Yeah, like that time I could have met Mr T at the mall!" said Homer. He then said his goodbyes and rejoined his crew mates Buzz and Race on the rocket.

”I pity da foo who meets me in the mall!” said Mr T in a mall.

”Mr T can I have your autograph?” Database asked him.

”Sure. Anything for a fan.” said Mr T giving him his autograph.

They checked all the instruments and stuff.

"I'm thirsty, can I get a drink?" Homer asked.

Race made an annoyed grunt. "Permission to sedate the cargo ahead of schedule?"

"Permission denied." said a voice back from control.

Race sighed. "Ant farm, check. Children's Letters to god, check..."

"All good to go Houston." said Buzz Aldrin.

The countdown started. "Three two one. Make rocket go!" said the announcement.

The rocket flew off into outer space. The G forces were uncomfortable for the crew. Homer even turned into Richard Nixon!

Homer as Richard Nixon made his um Nixon noises...

...

The Simpsons celebrated Homer going into space. They even invited Grampa and Marge's sisters round.

"Woo! Go Dad!" Bart cheered.

Lisa made a nerdy quote. Everyone stared at her. She sighed. "Woo, go Dad..."

Meanwhile at the space centre.

"Our ratings are through the roof!" said the general.

"How's the rocket doing?" a scientist asked.

"I dunno. This equipment only measures TV ratings!" said another scientist.

Elsewhere on the rocket.

Homer was looking at something wonderful. "Oh glory of glories! Oh majesty of majesties... Hey guys! Look what I smuggled on board!" He had a big bag of potato chips.

"Homer no!" Buzz yelled.

Homer ripped open the bag. The chips went flying because of zero gravity,

"They'll clog the instruments!" Race yelled.

"Careful! They're ruffled!" Buzz lamented.

"I'll handle this!" said Homer. He flew about in the zero gravity in his undersuit and went after the chips eating them while Blue Danube played in the background.

He spun after one last chip and ate it but screamed as he flew into the ant farm.

"Save the queen!" said an ant in ant language.

"Who's the queen?" asked another ant.

"I am!" said yet another ant.

"No you're not!" said the first.

Homer smashed the tank. The ants flew out.

"Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!" cried the ants in ant language.

"Oh thank Homer..." Race yelled as ants flew about everywhere.

Then they rang ground control who had James Taylor play music for them.

"Um Mr Taylor we're in a rather critical situation right now and not really in the mood for music..." said Buzz.

"Shaddup." James Taylor didn't care and wanted to play his music. "You are gonna float there and enjoy my music whether you like it or not." The scientist with the shoehorn thing knocked him out.

"He deserved that..." said Oscar paying the scientist some money.

...

Meanwhile the Simpsons were watching the news.

"Kent Brockman here. Apparently we are about to go live to speak with the astronauts! Well here we go and- Aaaaaaghhhhh!" The news went live to the ship but an ant passed close to the camera so it looked gigantic! Brockman screamed.

The Simpsons screamed in horror too!

"People. As you have seen by our shocking footage, the ship has been taken over! Conquered if you will by a master race of giant space ants!" said Kent. "It's currently not known if they will eat the crew or nearly enslave them!"

"Cooooool!" said Bart with joy.

Marge hmmmmmed.

"There's no stopping the ants, they will eventually arrive..." Kent explained seriously. "And I for one welcome our insect overlords! I'm quite willing to help round up others to toil in their underground sugar caves! For the glory of the ant empire!"

Marge and Lisa sighed at Kent's stupidity. "Mom, is Dad gonna be alright?" Lisa asked.

"Uh sure, kids." said Marge turning Maggie's head away from the TV.

"Mom, why did you just turn Maggie away from the TV?" Bart asked.

There was an awkward silence. "Who wants Ginger snaps?" Marge asked.


Meanwhile in an alien space craft.

"The humans are surrendering to us your majesty!" said a giant space ant to the space ant queen.

"Excellent! Set course for planet Earth!" said the space ant queen voiced by Susan Silo.

...

Meanwhile the ants on the ship crawled into the circuitry short circuiting everything!

"Oh god! The ants are getting into the instruments!" Race yelled.

"They'll shut down our oxygen supply!" Buzz warned as the ants could break the components that are part of the oxygen recycling machine.

Homer whimpered.

They had to abandon the mission and go back down to Earth. However as they re entered the atmosphere the ants had broke the airlock doors. They flew open.

Homer, Race and Buss quickly grabbed onto what they could and held on for dear life.

"We'll be burned up in the atmosphere!" Buzz yelled.

"If I'm going to hell, I'm taking you with me, Simpson!" Race yelled.

Homer screamed.

...

Meanwhile the news crew had words with Brockman about pledging his allegiance to giant space ants.

"Perhaps this news writer was a little hasty. This crew is still loyal to its human president. He may not be perfect. But he's the best that we've got... apparently." Kent muttered annoyed there wasn't a space ant invasion.

"Aw geez..." Bart groaned.

Oscar was eating a sandwich when his stomach was groaning. “Ow! My gut! Nnnnnngh! Aaaaaaaagh!” A Chestburster from Alien ripped out of his stomach, growled a cartoonish alien growl and took off with his sandwich.

”Hey! My sandwich!” Oscar whined.

”Um Okay...” said Bart.

In space we hear that one theme from 2001 a Space Odyssey as we pan past the planets to the shuttle.

it was burning up as Homer, Buzz and Race begged God to spare their lives.

”I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Homer.” said HAL.

”Shut up HAL!” yelled Homer.

Marge called Homer, he was panicking.

"Homer I have someone who can help you." said Marge.

"Is it Batman?" Homer asked.

"It's a scientist." said Marge.

"Batman's a scientist!" said Homer.

"It's not Batman!" Marge told him off.

A grey haired scientist with crazy hair spoke to Homer.

"Homer you need to seal the door with something!" said the scientist.

Homer found an inanimate carbon rod on him. "You've made my life a misery! Screw you!" Homer yelled sealing the door with it. The door was safely sealed.

"Homer! You saved us!" said Buzz Aldrin.

The rocket landed safely but on fire. Homer jumped out on fire and screaming and had to be put out.

After Buzz and Race got out. The crew checked the rocket. "Wow! Look at all these ants!"

Homer, Buzz and Race posed for photos.

"Wow Dad! See! You really are capable of great things!" said Lisa.

"Yeah, not many fat people get to go into space!" said Bart.

"Why you little!" Homer strangled him.

Suddenly the news was interrupted!

"Two legs! This is your new mistress, Queen Xanthron the 14th of the Antoid empire! Your planet is now ours! Prepare for an eternity of enslavement to our empire or die!" said a giant alien ant queen. The news cut back to Kent Brockman who was startled by this news.

The Simpsons screamed.

"Oh no! Mom what will we do?" Lisa asked frightened.

"Those monsters! I won't let them enslave us! Raaaaagh!" Homer ran out the house screaming.

The Simpsons shrugged their shoulders.

Meanwhile Oscar threw a pen up and down and it turned into a space satellite in space. That one theme with the drums from 2001 a Space Odyssey plays as the satellite falls on a giant space Homer embryo’s head.

”D’ooooooh!” Giant Space embryo Homer yelled.

The end!

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