Death comes to Springfield Someone in Springfield dies!
One school morning the family are having breakfast. Bart is watching Krusty on his portable TV while eating Krusty Ohs.
”Hey, kids, it's story time! I'm gonna tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new suit: His sexual-harassment suit.” said Krusty. He sighed at his bad joke. “Oh, boy. Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain... he has a new court-ordered sidekick... Ms. No-Means-No.”
There is a lady dressed as a crossing guard, or lollipop lady if your British.
“You're hot. Let's get some dinner after the show.”
Ms. No means no blew her whistle and showed a no sign at him.
“I have dinner with all my employees. Right, Sideshow Mel?” asked Krusty.
“We've never spoken outside of work.” said Sideshow Mel.
“I'm surprised he didn't blame his problems on his Percodan addiction.” Bart sighed watching TV.
“Wasn't my fault. It was the Percodan.” said Krusty laughing. ”If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from my new sponsor. Percodan?! Oh, crap!”
Bart accidentally ingests a razor sharp metal Krusty O, that was the cereal prize. He clutches his stomach in pain.
“Bart are you ready for your history test?” Marge asked him.
“You bet Mom! Ask me anything? Nnnnnnnhhhh!” Bart groaned in pain.
“Okay. Who was George Washington Carver?” Marge asked.
“Uh the guy who chopped up George Washington?” Bart replied.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
“Hmmmmm! Bart take this seriously...” Marge sighed.
“Aaaaaaagh! My stomach!” Bart cried. “It hurts!”
“Bart are you trying to get out of your history test...” Marge sighed.
“No! I’m serious! I’m in a lot of pain!” Bart cried.
“He’s faking, I say we send him to school...” said Homer.
“No Dad! I think Bart is in serious pain! Bart, where is the stomach pain? The middle or the side?” Lisa asked Bart.
“Side!” Bart held his hands over where his appendix was.
Oscar went over to Bart and examined him. He frowned. "Lisa is right. Bart is in pain. He is not kidding! Marge, Homer, you need to take him to the doctor immediately!!! He must have swallowed the metal Krusty-O in his cereal!"
“Hehehe! Kids are so naive! Lisa one day when your older you’ll learn certain things. Like those signs at the zoo that say don’t feed the bears? You better not feed those bears!” Homer chuckled.
”I get the impression my twin pulls bouts of fake sickness all the time...” Hugo sighed.
We cut to the Simpsons on a day trip to the zoo visiting Teddy, Oscar’s pet teddy bear creature in his enclosure. Teddy is hungry and makes a gesture pointing to his mouth.
“Awwww! He’s hungry!” Oscar cooed. “Here little fella!” Oscar offered Teddy a fish.
“No Oscar! The sign says don’t feed the bears!” said Lisa.
“What could possibly go wrong?” Oscar asked. He fed Teddy the fish. Teddy transformed into a gremlin.
In the real world, Bart screamed in agony clutching his stomach.
"Haw-haw!" Nelson laughed.
“We need to take Bart to the hospital! Now!” said Lisa.
It's so bad Marge takes him to hospital.
“I still think he’s faking it...” Homer insisted.
At school an alternate Bart is made to go in.
“Mrs. Krabappel, I can't take the test. I have a stomachache.” said Bart.
”Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse.” said Mrs Krabappel.
“Look, if you ignore me and I die, you'll get in a lot of trouble.” said Bart.
”Read page six of the school charter. "No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies." We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school snake.” said Mrs Krabappel.
“Hey, cool, there's a rabbit in here!” said Milhouse inside a green python. A rabbit was in there too hopping about.
Suddenly Feds stormed in. “A likely story Mrs K! Let this student seek medical attention or you’re going away for a long time Mrs K...” said the Feds arresting her.
”Okay! Bart go and see the nurse if you have to.” Mrs K relented.
”Coooool!” said Bart. He groaned as his stomach really hurts.
However Lunch Lady Doris is the school nurse.
”Lunch lady Doris?! You’re the school nurse?!” Bart asked.
”Budget cuts. They have Groundskeeper Willie teaching French....” said Lunch Lady Doris.
”Bonjoooooour! Yer cheese eating surrender monkeys!” said Willie in French onion seller clothes trying to teach French.
”Anyway what’s it this time Bart...” Doris sighed.
”I have a stomach ache...” Bart groaned.
”I only have two types of vitamin pills... the manic depressive mouse or the blue bird of unhappiness...” said Lunch Lady Doris.
”I’ll take the manic depressive mouse, Morpheus...” said Oscar wearing sunglasses.
At hospital the doctor explains something is lodged in Bart's appendix and it will need to be removed.
“And someone wanted me to go to school!” Bart glared at Homer.
“Why you little!” Homer strangled Bart who was wearing just a hospital gown in bed.
“Mr Simpson no! Your son is very sick!” Dr Payne scolded Homer and pulled him off of Bart.
Bart is wheeled into theatre, where much to his horror Dr Nick is performing the surgery.
“Hi everybody!” said Dr Nick.
“Hi Dr Nick!” said everyone.
Bart whimpered anxious of the quack as he put the breathing mask to give him sleeping gas on him.
“And on the count of three you will be in a deep sleep! One two three...” said Dr Nick. Bart went to sleep and closed his eyes. “There. Out like a light!”
However Bart merely snoozed because Dr Nick was boring him.
“Pass me the scalpel.” said Dr Hibbert.
Bart woke to find the surgeons about to cut him open. He screamed loudly.
“Oops! I forgot to turn on the gas!” said Dr Nick. He fumbled with the gas canisters and it filled the room with a sleeping gas.
“Ahhhhh... nice gas... sleepy gas... night night gas...” Dr Nick sighed as the gas strangely only knocked him out. And Bart eventually too.
Up in the seats over looking the surgery theatre. Because it is now an actual theatre. sat Bart’s family.
“This reminds me of that time Dad had a triple bypass.” said Lisa.
“These seats make hungry. Can I get a hot dog here?” Homer wanted a hotdog.
“Homer! This is a hospital surgery theatre! And your son is having a serious operation!” Marge nagged.
“Hotdogs! Get your hotdogs here!” A hotdog vendor was suddenly there.
“I’ll take one with ketchup and mustard!” Homer bought a hotdog.
“Here you go pally.” said the vendor giving him a hotdog.
Marge sighed and face palmed.
Bart soon recovers and even more pleasing, his friends come to visit him.
The doctor has even better news. Bart needs time off school to recover. All his friends beg to have their appendixes out too.
“Also I got this cool scar on my belly!” said Bart pointing to the scar where his appendix was removed.
At School, only two students are available for the school orchestra. Lisa and Ralph. They play Stars and Stripes forever with their instruments. Lisa with her saxophone and Ralph with a flute up his nose.
At the hospital.
“Bart, some patients have a rather morbid request of wanting to keep extracted body parts. So I have brought you your appendix in a jar of formaldehyde.” Dr Payne was holding a jar of liquid with a pink bloody appendix with a metal Krusty O lodged in it.
“Eeeeeeew!” The Simpsons groaned.
“No wonder he was in pain...” said Oscar.
“Cooooool!” said Bart. “Got anything else from inside me?”
“Well... the hospital archives kept some of the flesh attaching you to your conjoined twin brother Hugo.” said Dr Payne. He was holding the bits of skin and flesh bonding Bart and Hugo together as babies.
“Eeeugh. I don’t want that. Hugo can have that. Maybe he can grow a clone with it...” Bart said in disgust.
Hugo laughed maniacally.
Lisa goes to visit Bart in hospital when she finds Bleeding Gums Murphy in a hospital bed. He's very sick. They then talk about his career and guest appearance on the Cosby Show.
Bart then mucks about by painting eyes on his butt and pretending to be Dr Cheeks.
“Hey, I am Dr Cheeks. I am a little behind with my consultations.” said Bart as Dr Cheeks.
Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy rolled their eyes.
“That’s my brother Bleeding Gums Murphy... He’s not feeling very well. He just had his appendix removed...” Lisa explained.
After he leaves. Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy write and play a song together called "The Jazz Man."
“When a jazz man testifies, a faithless man believes... The jazz man! Ooooooh the jazz man!” Lisa sung a powerful song.
Then Bleeding Gums Murphy talks about his past, how he became a jazz musician when he inherited a saxophone from his elderly mentor when he retired.
“Take my saxophone boy. I’m too old to play it now...” said an elderly jazz player.
To Bleeding Gums Murphy’s shock he did not receive a saxophone but an umbrella.
“This isn’t a saxophone! This is an umbrella!” said Bleeding Gums Murphy.
“Wait. You’re telling me all this time I’ve been playing an umbrella?! Why didn’t anyone say anything?!” said the elderly jazz player.
“Because we thought it was funny!” Bleeding Gums Murphy chuckled.
“I don’t think that’s funny...” said the elderly jazz player.
”Then I was the Grampa on the Cosby show...” said Bleeding Gums Murphy.
”Zib zop zoopity bop! Ah ah ah!” said Bill Cosby as Dr Huxtable.
”Who’s this Dad?” asked his youngest daughter.
“This is your new Grampa! Ah ah ah!”
”But we have three Grampas already!” said the youngest daughter.
”This one is a jazz musician!” said Bill.
”They’re all jazz musicians...” said the youngest daughter.
”Ah! Ya see?! The kids they listen to the hippity hop so much, with the hopping and the hopping... that it gives them brain damage so they don’t know what the jazz is all about!” said Bill. “Jazz is like puddin pops. No actually it’s more like Kodak film. No actually Jazz is like the New Cola. It’ll be round forever! Ah ah ah!”
Bleeding Gums Murphy looked around wondering what he was doing with his life.
”Then I wasted all my money on faberge eggs...” said Bleeding Gums Murphy.
”Damn Faberge eggs!! You can’t eat these!! What’s the point!?” Younger Murphy tossed and broke a faberge egg because he was annoyed they couldn’t be eaten.
As Bart continues to recover the Simpsons and Oscar visit the zoo.
They leave some time later. Oscar’s arms are gone as he just has exposed bone fragments and bloody flesh just above his elbows where something ate his arms.
“I told you not to feed the bears...” Homer sighed.
“Gee I Hope Bart’s not missing out.” said Marge.
Bart was in his hospital bed watching Itchy and Scratchy cartoons and eating bowls of ice cream. He was laughing as Itchy chopped up Scratchy.
Even after Bart’s discharged Lisa continues visiting Bleeding Gums Murphy.
“Eeeeeew! So how did you get a name like Bleeding Gums Murphy?” Lisa asked.
“Well. You ever see the dentist?” Murphy asked Lisa.
“All the time! My mom takes me!” said Lisa.
“Well I’ve never. Perhaps I should... but I’ve got enough pain in my life...” said Bleeding gums Murphy.
The next visit.
“Hey Bleeding Gums Murphy look! I haven’t brushed my teeth in a whole week! See?” Lisa’s teeth were rotten and covered in plaque and tartare. Yeeeuck!
“O hohohoho! Lisa dear, jazz isn’t what’s in your mouth. It comes from your heart and soul!” Bleeding Gums Murphy explained chuckling.
“Lisa! Have you not been brushing your teeth young lady?! I can smell your tuna breath from here!” said Marge raising her voice.
Lisa sighed embarrassed.
However Lisa goes to visit Bleeding Gums Murphy again but finds out from a nurse that he has passed away during the night.
She cries in her room and has to be comforted by Marge. The family attends his funeral.
The marquee reads “God: He Knows What You Did Last Summer...”
Oscar screams in terror. See the horror movie I Know What You Did Last Summer.
“Oh Oscar... get back here!” Marge sighed.
“No! Don’t let the Hook kill me!” Oscar screamed.
Bart sweat dropped.
However they're the only ones there and Lovejoy gets his name wrong.
“Bleeding Jowls Murphy...” said Lovejoy.
”It’s Bleeding Gums Murphy!!” Lisa snapped.
”Eeeeeeugh!” said Lovejoy.
Bart was astonished to find a psychiatrist couch shaped gravestone for Dr Marvin Monroe.
”Ay Carumba!! Dr Marvin Monroe is dead?!”
Homer was hungry.
”Marge... I want a hotdog... is there a hotdog vendor here?”
”No Homer! This is a funeral!” Marge scolded him.
”Hotdogs! Get your hotdogs here!” said a hotdog vendor.
”Woohoo!” Homer cheered and bought one.
”Why do you keep following my husband around?” Marge asked annoyed.
”Lady, he is putting my children through college.” said the hotdog vendor.
Lisa vows to make sure Bleeding Gums Murphy isn't forgotten.
Lisa finds that Comicbook Guy is selling Bleeding Gums Murphy's last album he wrote before he died. However it's incredibly expensive.
"But he just died!" Lisa protests.
"Oh, I see." Comicbook guy increases the already extortionate price even further.
Then Mr Burns teases Lisa with a large amount of money on a string and drives away.
Meanwhile Bart receives a visit from Lionel Hutz and Professor Rubbermouth, who can fit several billiard balls in his mouth at once.
"Ay carumba!" said Bart at Professor Rubbermouth's bizarre skill.
Lionel explains he has successfully ordered Krusty to pay him compensation out of court. He gives Bart a lot of money.
”Five hundred dollars!” Bart gasped.
”serious organ damage carries a 10,000 dollar minimum tariff. Pay up, rummy...” said Hugo.
Lionel Hutz sighed and paid the rest of Bart’s compensation to him.
Elsewhere Oscar is buying weird Steve Allen books.
”How to make love to Steve Allen... The joy of naked Steve Allen... Journey to the centre of Steve Allen... How to cook Steve Allen... Boy this Steve Allen is nuts...” said Oscar.
Then the Hook from I Know What You Did Last Summer attacks him.
Oscar screams and flees.
Meanwhile in her room, Lisa plays a sad song with her guitar, because she needs to sing too and jazz just reminds her of Bleeding Gums Murphy.
“I am the saddest kid... in graaaaade number two...” Lisa sung sadly and miserable before crying.
That evening she’s in Bart’s treehouse singing her song “I’m the saddest kid. In grade number two.” While miserable over Bleeding Gums Murphy. Bart comes up to the treehouse to comfort her.
If it makes you feel any better, some people believe when you die you come back in another form like an animal.” said Bart.
“Yes that’s reincarnation Bart.” said Lisa miserable. “So. What do you think you’ll come back as if you had a choice?”
“A butterfly.” said Bart.
“A butterfly Ay? May I ask why?” Lisa cheered up a bit.
“Because no one suspects the butterfly! Mwuhahahaha!“ said Bart laughing evilly.
In a dream the school had been burnt down by a bad fire and Skinner is being arrested.
“But I’m telling you I didn’t burn down the school! It was the butterfly I tell you! The butterfly!” Skinner protested.
“He’s delirious, use the taser...” said Wiggum. Skinner gasped.
Up in the air a cute little Bart Simpson butterfly was holding a can of gasoline and laughing. “Mwuhahahaha!” While flapping his little colourful wings.
The dream ended.
“Okaaaaay...” said Lisa.
”Maybe I need to ask advice from someone with a little more age and wisdom...” Lisa sighed.
”Deeeeeeeeath!” Grampa screamed.
”Grampa that’s the cat...” Lisa sighed.
”Oh... how silly! Deeeeeeeeath!”
”That’s the cat again...”
This went on for a while.
Lisa asked Dad for advice.
”Well it’s like when Snowball went to kitty heaven... We’ll get you a new Jazz man!”
”Homer! Sweetie if you want something to remember Murphy by... How about a Tattoo?” said Marge.
”Mom, I’m eight... That would be irresponsible and when Bart wanted one you said no. And he got it anyway...” said Lisa.
”Well now I am letting you all get tattoos or whatever you want! Because what’s the point?!” Marge snapped.
”The point is Mom to stick to your guns... Bart and Oscar are stubborn, I know...” said Lisa.
”I am not stubborn! All Bart wanted was crazy tattoo!” Oscar snapped as he stormed off.
”Deeeeeeeeeath!” Grampa was outside screaming Deeeeeeath! at the letterbox.
Then Steve Allen was horrified by something. “Ye gods! Dorothy have you been having an affair?!”
”Uh no... why?” Dorothy Goodman asked.
”Look at our baby!!” Steve Allen showed baby Junior. He was black! Dun dun dun!!!
”Uh Dorothy Goodman was probably black too, narrator...” said Bart.
Bart goes to Android's dungeon and wants a very rare Radioactive Man Comic, however he sees the Bleeding Gums Murphy album Lisa really wanted. He decides to buy the album.
Oscar then came in.
”Behold the ultimate Pog!” said Comic Book Guy with a Pog.
”Does it have ALF the alien on it or that Captain Caveman rip off with the big wet shiny purple nose?” Oscar asked.
”Neither, it’s a rare Daffy Duck one!” said Comic Book Guy.
”How much?” Oscar asked.
”The price is beyond mere money, child.... it costs... one human soul!” said Comic Book Guy.
”Uh.... no....” said Oscar.
”Smithers drive!” Mr Burns was teasing people with a wad of bills on a string again.
Oscar grinned and took out a sharp pair of scissors.
”Smithers! Where’s my wad of cash gone?!” Mr Burns asked.
Oscar was running off with a large wad of bills.
"Lisa... Look what I've got!" Bart gives her the album.
"Oh thank you. Thank you!" Lisa hugs him. He grimaces at the thought of her hugging him. "But that must have cost all of your compensation money!"
"So? You're my sis and I wanted to help." Bart says while blushing. “Plus you were the only one who truly believed me when I was sick from that metal Krusty Oh.”
Lisa smiled and hugged him.
Meanwhile Krusty is at a press conference explaining his cereal no longer contains metal Krusty Os. He tries one and suddenly is doubled up in pain and screaming. "It's shredding my insides!"
"Uh, that was a regular Krusty O, Krusty..." Sideshow Mel explained.
"It's poisoned!" Krusty grunts in pain.
"Cool! I remember when Krusty had a heart attack on air while barbecuing meats and he started acting ridiculous until the Clown doctor explained it was serious..." Bart commented as he remembered back when Sideshow Bob still worked on the Krusty the Clown show and before Krusty explained he was Jewish he was cooking a barbecue on stage of various meat, most of which would be non kosher when he suddenly had a heart attack.
"I'm dying! I'm dyiiiiing!" Krusty cries out dramatically as he collapses clutching his chest in pain.
Kids laugh not realising this is serious.
Bart then has a visitor at the door.
”I just want to say, I am so very, very sorry um... Bart Simpson and I hope you feel better...” said Krusty.
”I am Krusty.” Said Bart.
”And here to wish you good health are my sideshows Sideshow Mel, Tina Balletina the fat ballerina lady, Corporal Punishment, Mr Teeny and my half brother Luke Perry...” said Krusty. There was a fat ballerina lady and a man in army uniform.
“Pleasure to meet you all...” said Bart.
”And now I must apologise to Tonya Harding, for some reason. Ahoooahahahaha!” said Krusty and they all left.
”Was that over you marketing videos of her wedding night...” Bart asked.
Krusty laughed sheepishly and groaned nodding before leaving.
Tonya Harding was roaming about patting a crowbar menacingly.
Later Bart agrees to take Lisa to have her album played at the local radio shack. After some convincing the radio hosts agree to play it.
However there's no reception so the song can't be heard. Lisa and Bart go home crestfallen. However God strikes the radio station tower with lightning. Suddenly radios everywhere including Lisa's portable one start playing Bleeding Gums Murphy's album, including their song they wrote in hospital.
Suddenly the clouds turn into Bleeding Gums Murphy.
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelps.
"Hi there Lisa! Thanks for getting my album played. Now I can rest."
Lisa sniffs. "Please don't go!"
"I'm sorry, Lisa, but I've already passed..." Bleeding Gums Murphy explained.
Suddenly Mufasa from lion king appears. (You must avenge my death Kimba, I mean Simba."
Then Darth Vader appears. "Luke, I am your father."
Then James Earl Jones himself appears as a cloud head. "This is CNN!"
"Will you lot pipe down?! I'm trying to talk to Lisa!" Bleeding Gums Murphy tells the other ghosts off.
"Sorry." They vanish.
"I'm sorry Lisa, but my time has already come. But I will always be with you..." Bleeding Gums Murphy comforts Lisa.
"Please, just one more song!" Lisa begs.
Bleeding Gums Murphy vanishes and pops back with a cloud saxophone. "Oh why not!" They begin playing their song.
During the credits after song ends.
"One more time!" Lisa cheers.
"Ah geez, Lisa I'm missing the heavenly buffet!" Bleeding Gums Murphy groans.
After the credits.
Lisa hugs Bart again at home. "But you won't ever see that sort of money again!" Lisa explained.
"Don't be so sure!" Bart replies holding a box of Krusty Os. There is a star on the front saying, "Now containing flesh eating bacteria!"
“And I managed to get the wad of cash Mr Burns was teasing everyone with!” said Oscar holding a very large wad of cash.
“Hey give me that you little urchin!” Mr Burns yelled as he chased Oscar.
“Lisaaaa, I know you miss Bleeding Gums Murphy so I got you a new jazz guy! Say hello to Bill Clinton! Former President Bill Clinton!” said Bart bringing in Bill Clinton.
“Hi Lisa.” said Bill Clinton holding a saxophone.
“Oooooh! Bart! Had this been anyone else like Dad, I’d storm off in tears! But you did buy that Bleeding Gums Murphy album for me! Oh yooouuu!” said Lisa hugging Bart. Bart grimaced in disgust.
Lisa then played her saxophone with former President Bill Clinton.