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Dark Oscar Oscar’s dark side awakens when he thinks over his past adventures from Bart vs Thanksgiving, Bart the Daredevil and the Wreck of Friendship and an unseen adventure where the Simpsons move to live under the sea... meanwhile all happening while Homer recounts a night at capital city....

Plot[]

The chalkboard gag is “I will not trade pants with others.” Bart is wearing Oscar’s brown shorts. Oscar is stood in his underwear about to eat Bart’s blue shorts, literally.

Bart sweat dropped.

The couch gag is the Simpsons sit down but they hear Maggie sucking her pacifier as she pokes her head out of Marge’s hair.

The episode starts on evening at Moe’s.

“So what happened at Capital City?” Barney asked Homer.

“Oh Barney!” Homer whined. “If there is one worse thing than being a loser it’s recounting a story of how you became a loser! And I don’t want to be that guy!”

Moe said something while cleaning the beer glasses. Probably begging him to tell his story. “Come on Homer.”

Homer sat there glumly going on about how the story was embarrassing to him.

Oh Wait! This is what Moe said! Which I insist on being silly about!

”We’re dying of curiosity.” said Moe.

”I’m just dying. Ecccccck! Gahk! (Clutching his chest and choking)” said Oscar being dramatic. He fell over pretending to be dead.

Homer rolled his eyes.

Homer’s friends beg him to tell his story.

“Come on Homer!” said Moe.

“Please Homer!” said Lenny.

“Oh okay...” Homer sighed.

The story began under Homer’s narration.

“It was the nuclear power plant employee, spouses and no more than three kids night.” said Homer narrating. That line is canon and I’ll mock that too!

The families get off the coach at Springfield Isotopes home arena but an employee gets off with his wife and four children. He is scolded by Mr Burns and fired. He goes home with his family glumly.

”I said three kids maximum! You’re fired!” Mr Burns yelled.

“Shame Oscar had to miss out. But Mr Burns means what he says! I mean look at that poor sap with four kids getting a taxi! You should have read the memo George!” Homer said to his family and then the father with the four kids who just got sent home.

”Homer I’m not leaving any of my kids home alone...” said George.

Meanwhile Oscar has stowed away on the coach in the luggage area with Hugo. “Hehehehe! The coast is clear Attic Boy!” sId Oscar.

“I have a name...” Hugo sighed annoyed at being called Attic Boy.

”Um sure...” said Oscar.

On the coach Otto when he pulled up heard police sirens far away. “I think we lost them! And we’re at the ballpark! Alright! Everyone off!” said Otto.

Everyone stared at Otto concerned.

The coach was crammed as everyone got off. And guy who did not read the memo about only bringing three kids got fired and sent home. Homer commented about this and when they were inside Oscar and Hugo got out of the luggage to find seats at the arena.

In the arena Homer was talking to Bart while in the foreground an obviously evil guy was giving hats to a black haired boy with buck teeth.

“Yeah sure narrator he’s evil... we’ll go with that...” Homer sighed.

“Will we see some big stars?” Bart asked.

“Probably.” said Homer.

Then Lisa was being poetic as usual.

“Sweetie I’m just here for the seventy gallon buckets of cold frosty-Aaaaaaagh!” Homer screamed as Oscar was there. With the thing from the attic.

“Forgot someone Homer...” said Oscar.

“I told you! Mr Burns’s clearly said only three kids! So I meant only my three kids!” Homer angrily rants as he storms up to Oscar. “And how dare you bring the thing here! Quickly before my kids see!”

“Hyeeeeerk!” Oscar was dragged off somewhere with Hugo.

“I wonder where Dad went with Oscar?” Bart asked.

“Hmmmm! I don’t know sweetie but he’ll be back soon.” said Marge.

...

Then there were the families being greeted as they went in by Mr Burns and Smithers. First up was a family of albinos called the Gammills. I don’t care for those Gammills...

“Smithers put a smiley face on his card.” said Mr a Burns.

Then there was the sickeningly perfect family from There’s no Disgrace like Homer. Mr Burns praised them for being on their best behaviour.

Then the Simpsons arrived.

“Ah the Simps!” said Mr Burns.

“That’s Simpsons Mr Burns.” Homer quivered.

“Oh of course! Mr and Mrs Simpson! And these must be your children! Bart and Lisa, (He got Bart’s name right, finally...) And eh... Expecting... (Hehehehe! He called Maggie expecting...)

“Sir that data needs updating...” said Smithers.

Mr Burns screwed up a piece of paper angrily.

“The names not important sir! Let’s take our seats!” said Homer.

“Well at least he got my name right this time...” said Bart.

“Quiet Brat!” Homer scolded him.

“Oh yes! Little Brat Simpson! My mistake Homer! Enjoy the show!” said Mr Burns as they went inside.

“Where’s Oscar Dad?” Lisa asked.

“Oh where he can’t cause trouble...” said Homer.

Oscar was in a dumpster/garbage can with Hugo who was eating a fish skeleton.

“I’m Oscar the grouch!” Oscar giggled covered in garbage.

Hugo mumbled as he ate fish skeletons.

...

The Simpsons took their seats.

“Red hots! Get your red hots here!” said a vendor.

“One chug-a-lug zilla please!” said Homer using his employee ticket permits to get an extra large frosty beer.

“Homer! Watch your drinking tonight!” said Marge.

“Why?” asked Homer.

“Because remember last year when you made an ass of yourself and mooned the poor umpire?” said Marge.

“Marge this ticket gives me a permit, nay a duty! To drink and make an ass of myself!”

“Hmmmmmm!” Marge grumbled angrily.

Bart saw a famous baseball player called Flash.

“Wow! Flash Baylor! He’s a classic baseball star! I’m gonna see if he’ll sign my ball!” said Bart.

Oscar was playing Flash Gordon by Queen on his boombox loudly.

“Flash! Aaaaaaaaaah! Saviour of the universe!”

“No Oz! Not Flash Gordon! Flash Baylor!” said Bart flustered by his stupidity. “And I hope you don’t cause my dad anymore trouble...”

“I won’t... I’ll just sit in this row of Bleachers X to Z alone...” Oscar sighed.

“Hmmmmm! Homer you can’t let a minor sit on his own at a baseball game.” Marge sighed.

“You heard Mr Burns Marge! Three kids maximum!” said Homer. “And our kids come first!”

Bart found Flash Baylor. “Hey Flash! Flash! Will you sign my ball?” Bart asked him.

“No.” said Flash Baylor.

Bart stormed off back to his seat mumbling angrily.

“What’s wrong Bart?” Marge asked him.

“Flash wouldn’t sign my ball! He thinks he’s too good for signing autographs for his fans!” Bart grumbled.

“Why that sorry excuse for a male role model! Give me your ball sweetie!” Marge took Bart’s ball and furiously marched up to Flash Baylor.

“Hey check out the smartly dressed chick in the crowd...” said Flash’s team mate to him.

Marge returned with Bart’s ball. “Here you go sweetie.”

Bart saw it was signed. “Dear Sweet Cheeks, come to my apartment Kozy Kourt Motel room 26. I’ll be waiting Babe! Signed Flash Baylor.” Bart read the pick up message.

“Wow! Flash Baylor is hitting on my wife!” said Homer.

...

Then Homer was on Jumbo vision.

“Dad you’re on Jumbo Vision!” said Bart.

Homer got up and started showing off while Lisa waved to everyone, Bart made silly faces and Oscar bought Hugo onto the jumbo cam and pointed to him.

However Homer’s flies were undone. The crowd laughed at him.

“Ooooooooh!” Homer groaned doing up his zip.

“Smithers who is that oaf?” Mr Burns asked Smithers.

“Homer Simpson sir of Sector 7G Sir.” said Smithers.

“I see.... His shenanigans better not cause any embarrassment at this game tonight!” said Mr Burns.

The game then started.

“And first up at the bat for Springfield Isotopes is Flash Baylor!” said the commentators.

Flash took his place in fro t of the guy who wears a mask and chest armour to catch the ball and strike out the batter. Everyone cheered for Flash. He modestly thanked the crowd.

Flash steeled himself as the pitcher got ready to throw the ball. But Flash saw Ming the Merciless!

“Death to Ming!!” Flash Baylor screamed and ran to try to kill Ming.

“Oz...” Bart whined.

“Ming...” Oscar giggled and sighed.

...

Then Mr Burns arrived on the pitch in a giant baseball car.

“That would be one sweet golf buggy...” said Homer.

The audience half heartedly clapped for him. Not because they wanted to, but because they had to.

“They adore you sir.” said Smithers.

“And so they should!” said Mr Burns. He compared himself to a dead baseball player called Satchel Paige. Fake name! Then asked Smithers to spit on the ball before he threw it.

He threw a crap throw barely a few feet in front of himself.

Bart and Homer laughed at him.

“You can really hear it rip through the air sir!” said Smithers.

“Oh shut up!” said Mr Burns.

“Hey Mr Burns! You suck!” Homer yelled.

“You throw like my sister!” said Bart.

“Yeah you throw like me!” said Lisa.

“Smithers who are those rude people!?” Mr Burns asked Smithers.

“Homer Simpson sir and his family. Sector 7-“ said Smithers.

“Yes yes... I know! I know! Fire him at once Smithers!” said Mr Burns.

“With pleasure Sir.” said Smithers.

...

“And now all rise for the National anthem sung by Bleeding Gums Murphy.” said the announcer.

“Ooooooooh!” Lisa sighs, fangirling over her favourite jazz musician Bleeding Gums Murphy.

The Simpsons stopped laughing and Homer held Bart up by his shirt collar because the National anthem was sacred. This was not the time to muck about or rebel.

“Dad why are those black baseball players on their knees?” Bart asked as some black baseball players were taking a knee during the National anthem.

“Because they’re evil traitors and should be shot by firing squad!” said Homer.

“He will not divide us!” said one of the kneeling baseball players. Despite the fact Trump isn’t president yet, George Bush Snr is!

Plot 2[]

Oscar went to the toilets with Hugo. He was washing his hands when a ghostly Yami Oscar appeared by his side.

“Ahhh! A ghost!” Oscar screamed.

Yami Oscar face palmed. “I’m not a ghost! I am a personification of your dark side!” said Yami Oscar.

“Like my shoulder devil?” Oscar asked.

“... Yes...” Yami Oscar sighed. “Now listen here... The Simpsons have abandoned you! See how they go out with out you! And your friend the walking spoiler, see how they treat him, one of their children...”

“Homer couldn’t take me and his kids. His boss clearly said so...” said Oscar.

“But he didn’t exactly feel sorry about leaving you behind did he...?” Yami Oscar asked.

“No. To be honest he was happy to look for any excuse to leave me behind. Must be from the other week when I kidnapped Lisa so Bart could jump the Springfield Gorge.” said Oscar.

The Sugababes song I’m Too Lost in you played as Oscar thought of all the bad things he had done recently, getting Bart a tattoo and helping him keep it, encouraging Bart to run away from home at thanksgiving and upset his family. Letting Bart jump the Springfield gorge and seriously injure himself. Through his own naive stupidity unleashed a powerful sorceress upon Atlantica while Homer shamelessly ripped off Disney’s the little mermaid because he wanted to live under the sea.

“Are you still blaming yourself my morally ambiguous side? They only have themselves to blame! Bart’s the one who wanted to jump the gorge...” said Yami Oscar.

“Yeah but I helped.” said Oscar.

“And now I’m helping you...” said Yami Oscar laughing maniacally as he assumed control of Oscar while dramatic music played and Oscar’s eyes glowed red and he spoke in a raspy voice.

“At last! I can breath... I can feel... I can eat!” He then greedily in a beastly manner, devoured Oscar’s sandwich he took into the toilets to eat, for some reason.

...

At the stadium Mr Burns was littering.

“Mr Burns you should really put that in the bin. Or at least recycle...” said Lisa.

“Re-cycle?” asked Mr Burns confused.

“Um do you even know what recycling is?” Lisa asked.

“Re-cycling?” Mr Burns was even more confused. In his mind he imagined a dictionary but they was no definition for recycling. But there was a definition for rutabaga. Mmmmmm! Rutabagas...

“I’m afraid that word is not in my vocabulary you adorable rutabaga!” said Mr Burns.

“Hmmmm.... You’ve never heard of recycling? It means to reuse things to conserve our natural resources!” Lisa explained.

“Oh. So Mother Nature needs a favour now? Does she? Well she should have thought of that before she beset us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys!” Mr Burns yelled. Yay! Poison monkeys!

Suddenly there was the sound of hundreds of monkeys screeching and hollering.

“What was that?” Lisa asked.

“A horde of rampant poisonous monkeys!” said Mr Burns as green poisonous monkeys attacked.

“Now that’s ridiculous! Oz is this your doing?!” Bart whined.

There was maniacal laughter ringing over the monkeys. It sounded like Oscar trying to do an evil laugh but in a more sinister and harsh, almost serpent like tone. Oscar was floating in midair by some ethereal power. He had a white streak in his hair that was now sticking straight up. “Yes! This was my doing! But I am Oscar no more!” said Yami Oscar.

“Then who are you?” Bart asked.

“I am a shadow on your subconscious, a blemish on your fragile, little psyche... You know me. You just don’t know it...” said Yami Oscar.

“Do you always talk in riddles?” Bart asked with a frown.

“No. Riddles are not my thing. Now unleashing destruction and chaos over my counterparts more light hearted eccentricity is more my thing!”

Bart quickly learned this Oscar was far more lethal with his craziness than Oscar was normally. He would never intentionally endanger his friend with random things he summoned.

“And now my poisonous monkeys! Des-“ Yami was about to order his poisonous monkeys to destroy everyone but Baby Elephant Walk played.

“Oh the baby elephant song! I love this song!” said Homer. He got up and started dancing to the Baby Elephant Walk song. Then the poisonous monkeys started dancing to it.

“No you fools! Stop that! Stop dancing at once!” Yami Oscar yelled annoyed as his minions disobeyed him to dance to Baby Elephant Walk.

Bart smirked and joined in with his father’s silly dancing.

“Oh great! I haven’t seen such corny Father and son dancing since the title sequence of the Goofy Troop TV series where Goofy and Max dance trying to look cool... there’s nothing cool about your dad!” Yami Oscar ranted. “And that show had so much potential for big wet shiny black noses! Oh great! Now I’m talking about shiny noses...”

Mr Burns who by this point was sat by Smithers watching Homer and Bart dance amongst the green poisonous monkeys.

“Smithers what the devil is that man doing?!” said Mr Burns.

“He appears to be doing an obnoxious sports mascot dance. It’s working up the crowd! And encouraging Springfield Isotopes to play well!” said Smithers as the Isotopes were scoring home runs.

“I don’t care about that Smithers! Why haven’t you fired him already? His behaviour is ruining this ballgame for me!” Mr Burns ranted.

Smithers sighed.

...

Yami Oscar bored that his poisonous monkeys were dancing and not killing was reading the canon script for Dancin’ Homer. “Man there’s a lot of obscure celebrities being named here.” He made alterations to the script that would make Krusty ashamed. “Nope don’t know who that is. I ain’t doing that. That’s coming out. Oh! Make it that he’s actually kissing Betty Crocker...”

“You know I don’t really notice much difference with Oscar tonight, apart from the supposedly poisonous monkeys loafing around.” said Bart.

Yami Oscar zapped a monkey killing it. “Okay that’s enough! Now kill! Destroy!”

The monkeys screeched and went into a biting frenzy.

“Oh and watch yourselves Simpsons. When I say poisonous monkeys, I meant venomous. I’m not a stickler for the proper term so if you’re that hungry I suppose you could eat the monkeys if you wanted to...” said Yami Oscar as he checked his fingernails nonchalantly.

The Simpsons fought off the monkeys. Then a mysterious man appeared in the shadows.

“Oh no you don’t!” Yami Oscar said with an annoyed scowl. “Bawk Bawk Boom!” He called down exploding or should that be eggsploding chickens! The chickens exploded into mini explosions with the same fire power as a grenade.

Chickens squawking and explosions and screams.

Oscar laughed evilly.

The Simpsons looked worried.

“Are you the dancing fella?” said the man.

“What’s it to ya?” Homer asked ripping the heads off the green poisonous monkeys.

”Do not kill my poisonous monkey minions!” Dark Oscar yelled.

“I’m Antoine “Tex” O’Hara.” said the man.

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!” said Yami Oscar.

“Oz no!” Bart groaned.

“Close. She’s my second cousin twice removed.” said Antoine.

“Let’s see here... no I don’t know that O’Hara... I’m not making a vague Hunchback of Notre Dame reference for her... and- Aaaaaagh! Oh my god she was in Buffalo Bill!” Yami Oscar was reading a book then screamed when he found out Maureen O’Hara was in a western called Buffalo Bill. It puts the lotion on its skin...

“Oz that’s a western.” said Bart.

“There’s a western about a deranged serial killer who kidnaps women and keeps them trapped in a deep pit in his apartment?!” Yami Oscar yelled.

“Oz not that Buffalo Bill!” Bart whined.

“Sonny have we met? You seem to know a lot about my family.” said Antoine.

“Nope. It’s just I know a lot of famous O’Haras...” said Yami Oscar. “Now you have thirty seconds to evacuate this ball park Simpsons before I completely vaporise it with an enormous energy kamehameha beam from Dragon Ball Z.”

“Oz stop this! This isn’t you man...” said Bart.

“Of course it isn’t. I’m not your little friend Oz. I am obviously the superior personality...” said Yami Oscar.

“Oscar you have to fight him! Come on!” Lisa yelled.

“Don’t bother. Oscar can’t hear you.” said Yami Oscar. “Now toddle off home while you still can...”

The Simpsons had little choice. They left while Yami Oscar gave them the chance.

“We won’t forget you Oscar! I know you’re in there somewhere!” said Bart as the Simpsons ran home.

“See ya soon Binky boy!” said Yami Oscar. “I wonder why all the Yugioh villains say Binky boy...” he pondered. “Yugi doesn’t even have a binky!”

...

The Simpsons were soon a safe distance from the ball park.

“Well what do we do now?” Marge asked.

”Go to Moe’s?” Homer asked.

Hugo asked gibberish.

“You heard Oscar, what I Hope was just someone possessing him. He’s giving us a chance to live...” said Bart.

“Well I’m not living knowing hundreds died tonight! I say we go back in and talk some sense into Oscar!” said Lisa.

“It’s been five minutes now. What’s taking him so long to kill everyone?” Homer asked.

Yami Oscar was charging up his kamehameha but something made him hesitate.

There was a guy in the audience still watching the baseball blissfully unaware of the poisonous monkeys and exploding chickens. “Batter’s off his rocket! Kissing Betty Crocker!” He chanted.

“Oh I can’t kill such a funny person! (Screams with laughter) Look! Betty Crocker is actually on the field kissing the batsman!” Yami Oscar laughed hysterically.

The batter squirmed disgusted as Betty Crocker tried to kiss him.

“Okay you guys can all live. Those that survived my poison monkeys and exploding chickens. Congratulations... now enjoy what’s left of your game I’m going home...” said Yami Oscar.

He went Home.

He rode his skateboard past a man mugging a woman of her handbag.

”Ugh! Heads, I Help the lady and teach a lesson that petty crime doesn’t pay... tails I kill the lady...” said Dark Oscar. The coin landed on heads. “Ugh... fine...” he zapped the mugger with red lightning. Killing him. “Let that be a lesson to you that petty crime doesn’t pay! Where as supervillain evil does!” He went off laughing.

...

The Simpsons went home too. The bad news for Homer was that he was fired again. The good news was that Hugo was back locked up in the attic. And even though he lost his job. Homer has a new one working for the owner of the Springfield Isotopes. Dancing for the players to encourage them and the crowd.

Homer was feeding Hugo his monthly fish heads. Hugo has a giant novelty foam hand and an Isotopes hat on. Homer rolled his eyes and left Hugo to eat his fish heads.

Downstairs.

“I hope Oscar’s back to normal. I don’t know why, but I get the feeling he’s not himself.” said Bart.

“I wonder what he’s doing now?” asked Lisa.

Dark Oscar was out causing mayhem in town with poisonous monkeys and turning people into grotesque freaks such as turning two pantomime actors as a pantomime horse into gruesome horse hybrids. Ie half a person attached to the back half of a horse etc. And of course making it rain fire. While causing this mayhem he laughed like toon Link as his evil laugh.

One evening the Simpsons minus Homer were having dinner in the kitchen. Homer came in wearing his mascot costume shorts with suspenders, a t shirt with the letter H on it and a baseball cap and 9f course a cape.

“Don’t fill up on those vegetables! Save some room for nachos!” said Homer as that night they had another game o go to.

“Yaaaaaay!” the kids cheered.

“Homer! I spent all day cooking this lovely healthy dinner!” Marge was annoyed at Homer for wanting to go early during dinner and promising to let the kids fill their stomachs with salty or sugary snacks.

“Dad did they tell you to wear that?” Bart asked.

“No, it’s just something I threw together. Now let’s get going!” said Homer.

“Homer! Dinner!” Marge nagged

“Fine...” Homer sat down to eat his healthy dinner Marge cooked.

Plot 3[]

Eventually after dinner the Simpsons arrived at the baseball game. Homer was doing a silly dance as part of his job as Dancin’ Homer.

Bart was getting a ball autographed when he bumped into Oscar, who was his usual self again.

“You’ve got a lotta nerve showing up here Oz...” Bart said with a frown.

“Why? What did I do?” Oscar asked.

“Don’t you remember?! You had gone all psycho and unleashed green poisonous monkeys and exploding chickens and tried to destroy the arena and kill thousands!” Bart explained.

“No I don’t remember doing that! And besides II would not go on massacres like that! That’s not my style!” Oscar explained. “And for one thing the green poisonous monkeys would be green curious bear cubs...”

“You don’t remember what you were doing last night?” Bart asked.

“Not after I went to the bathroom to take a whiz, no.” said Oscar. “I was washing my hands and that was it.”

“Oh...” Bart was concerned Oscar had no memory or all the trouble he caused during his evil phase.

“Anyway pipe down I have to heckle the players.” said Oscar.

“Cool! I’ll join you!” said Bart. If that evil Oscar was another personality of Oscar’s or a spiritual force possessing him, he needed his friends by his side no matter what. Now was not the time to yell at him and abandon him.

“Here batter batter! We need a catcher not a belly scratcher!” Oscar heckled.

A catcher with a baseball glove was scratching himself and picking his belly button.

“Fielder’s off his blocker! Kissing Betty Crocker!” Bart heckled. Then he grimaced as Betty Crocker suddenly appeared as if summoned by magic. She then grabbed the fielder in question and tried to passionately kiss him.

Bart saw Oscar smirking. He obviously was doing magical stuff. “Oz... don’t do silly stuff tomight please...” Bart sighed.

“Little baby batter! Can’t control his bladder!” Oscar ignored Bart and continued heckling.

On the field up as the batter was a little baby wearing a diaper and swinging a tiny baseball bat. He heard Oscar’s taunting and frowned. He stuck his tongue out and made a rude noise at him.

“Oz a baby can’t play Major League Baseball with a bunch of grown men...” Bart sighed.

“I like to make heckles and taunts real... it’s funny.” said Oscar.

Bart sighed and went back to join his family.

...

Bart joined his family.

“What took you so long?” Lisa asked.

“I just bumped into Oscar.” said Bart.

“Why that destructive little menace! How dare have the front to!” Lisa yelled getting up.

“No Lisa! The last thing you should do right now is yell at him!” Bart stopped her. “yes I know what he did last night was beyond forgivable. But I spoke to him about it. He genuinely doesn’t remember what he was doing! I don’t think that was him last night. The lights were on, but no one was home.”

“What are you saying Bart?” Lisa asked.

“I’m saying Oscar May have been taken over by an evil spirit or alternate personality. Maybe there’s another Oscar. A meaner one...” said Bart.

“That sounds like a load of bungus...” said Lisa.

Meanwhile on the field. The tiny cute baby who was batting stuck his tongue out concentrating as he held his bat ready to swing. Suddenly his stomach gurgled and he grimaced as he messed his diaper with a big slimy poopy mess. Splat!

“Eeeeew!” Lisa groaned.

Eventually it was time for Homer to do his performance. He was drinking when he was called out.

“Dancing Homeeeer!” said the announcer. Homer nearly dropped his drink in shock and quickly got down to the field. Baby Elephant walk stared playing and he danced. People cheered.

Through many games Homer danced. One game he asked for baby elephants walk to be played reggae style. One time Bart joined in dancing with him and One time Jay Sherman was annoyed that it played every time he got up and waddled about.

“Hey! Just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I’m a baby elephant!” Jay yelled.

However disaster struck. Homer danced his best but Isotopes lost...

“Isotopes lose... Isotopes lose...” said the commentator as people booed.

“Oh come on! Homer danced his heart out tonight! You losers!” A man yelled.

Homer reported to Mr O’hara’s office.

“Frankly my dear, i don’t give a damn...” said Clark Gable storming out of Tex O’hara’s office.

“Mr O’Hara sir?” Homer thought he was in serious trouble.

“Now relax Homer you’re not in trouble.” said Tex. Homer sighed with relief. “NoW you gave your best tonight. The problem is the team was just unlucky tonight. Well some say bad luck, I say lack of spirit...” Tex continued. “Even the Capitol City Goofball couldn’t get them to play well! Which is why we’re transferring you to another team so he can have a go as the team mascot.”

“Oh. Okay sir.” said Homer.

...

In the stands Jimbo’s gang were bulling Bart and Oscar.

“You’re Dad cost us the game!” said Jimbo whaling on Bart.

“Hey leave him alone!” Oscar yelled. “It’s not his fault or his dad’s! The team just played badly tonight!”

“Put a sock in it dweeb!” said Kerne trying to punch Oscar but he expertly grabbed his fist.

“Hey! Leggo!” Yelled Kerne.

“Don’t push me Kerne!” Oscar growled.

“Why?” Dolph taunted Oscar.

“You do not want to see me when I’m angry. When I’m really angry...” said Oscar as his eyes went red..

Jimbo was about to make a smart Alex remark.

“Guys don’t! He’s serious! If you value you lives you’d leave now!” said Bart.

“Shut up dork!” said Jimbo giving Bart a sharp right hook. Oscar punched Jimbo clear across the stands.

“I said leave him alone!” said Oscar with red eyes and a layered voice as Dark Oscar was taking over.

He shot lightning bolts at the bullies. They fled.

“Thanks Oz but you can stop now.” said Bart.

Oscar screamed angrily trying to hit the bullies with lightning.

“Oz! Stop!” Bart yelled.

Oscar reasserts control of himself and was quivering with anger.

Bart was concerned for his friend. Some sort of rage had overcome him. “Oz...” Oscar fainted from over exertion trying to hold back Dark Oscar.

“You look deep into my eyes.... as I go out of my mind...” Oscar sung weakly as he felt giddy.

“Uh...”


“I can’t see anything, cos this rage has got me blind...” said Oscar.

“Fight it Oscar! Fight him!” Bart said despairing.

Dark Oscar laughed. “You pitiful fool! I am in control now!” He sounds like Wat from Ghostbusters.

“Bart... I can’t help myself... I can’t break this spell...” Oscar sung weakly.

“Oz! Please! Don’t let him win! I t wasn’t your fault that night!” Bart said dispairing.

“Gahahahaha! You fool! Of course it was my fault! I enjoyed such carnage!” said Dark Oscar.

“Shut up! And get out of my friend!” Bart cried.

“Friend?” Dark Oscar laughed. “You call me a friend after all the pain I’ve ever caused you?! How I let you throw yourself to your death over the Springfield Gorge?”

“That was my fault! Maybe there is darkness in me too...” said Bart.

“You should have never forgiven me!” Dark Oscar spat.

“You want me to Hate Oscar! Because then you win!” said Bart. “I won’t let that happen! I love him!”

“Eeeeew!” Oscar groaned weakly...

“I meant platonically as a friend you silly bum!” Bart chuckled tearfully to Oscar.

“No! Hate him! Hate me!” Dark Oscar was losing control.

“No!” said Bart. “Oz. I’ll be by your side no matter what...”

“Noooooooooo!” Dark Oscar screamed as Oscar reassumed control.

...

The Simpsons reunited where they promised to meet. They went home. Until of course Homer started his shift with Rich Texan’s team. He stupidly suggested he’d dance for free.

“Okay fune.” said Rich Texan.

“D’oh!” Homer groaned. “Ha! I’d even pay you!”

“Fine! Pay us!” said Rich Texan.

“D’oh!” Homer groaned. “Thanks Mouth...”

However the fans of Rich Texan’s team hated Homer’s performance. They didn’t like it and thought his dancing was silly. They all walked out.

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