Simpsons Fanon

Changing of the guardian There is a tornado and it takes Santa’s little Helper. There’s Wizard of Oz references and the film twister. Marge and Homer get stuck in a dire situation so in act 2 when they get back home they decide the kids need a guardian they can be sent to live with immediately should the worst happen otherwise the government would put them into care...


The title gag is Ned as an angel. XD.

The couch gag is Simpsons sit on the couch but it’s part of a carnival dunking game. Nelson hits the target and they are dropped into the tank.

”Haw Haw!” Nelson laughs.

Homer has drowned...


The episode open to a heavy storm of thunder and lightning rampaging across Springfield.

Thunder outside the Simpson house claps.

Oscar and Teddy, his living teddy bear creature scream and hide under the couch cushions.

Marge sighs.

”Oz it’s just thunder...” Marge sighed. “Now play nice with Hugo and Eric and that uh Tiny Tim kid you keep using as The family is in the kitchen playing Byzantium and only up to five players can play.”

”Oh I see... the fanon characters get shafted again...” Oscar sighs from under the couch cushions. The kid who Homer was doing a voice for in HOMR pretending he’s was one of his kids asking for candy was eating some candy.

Marge sighed and left.

Thunder clapped.

Oscar yelped and his again.

”Boy you have got to be kidding me.” said a teddy bear voiced by Peter Griffin. “I’m Ted from the movie Ted. And this is my grown up owner and friend Mark Wahlberg.”

Ted and Mark were there.

”Yeah my teddy bear I still have like an American Mr Bean and I have a way of coping with thunder and lightning.” said Mark.

Mark Wahlberg and Ted sing “Fuck you thunder!”

”When you hear the sound of thunder don't you get too scared..., just grab your thunder buddy~ and say these magic words. FUCK YOU THUNDER!”

“Hey! No swearing in this house!” Marge Simpson yelled.

”Yeah, less of the potty mouth, my cursing fellow bear bro.” said Teddy.

”Oh look... its Teddy Ruxpin...” Ted quipped. “Or or or! A dummy bear...”

”Yeah real funny Peter Griffin as a teddy bear... Geez this more edgy and awkward than when Avid Merrion as the bear came over...” said Oscar.

We cut to Oscar in the hall with Avid Merrion as the Bear, a teddy bear character with um...

”Uh you have an enormous boner....” said Oscar.


"In this exciting strategy game,” said Marge reading instructions as the canon family members were in the kitchen sat at the table playing Byzantium. A resource management game as a board game. “you amass resources-- timber, salt fish-“

”Mmmmmmm! Salt fish...” Hugo moaned from the lounge in hunger.

“and wax. Tofund the syndicate to gain influence with the Doges of Venice." said Marge.

“Doges? Why do we have to play this stupid game Lisa likes?” Bart grumbled.

“I don't like this game. Nobody likes this game.” said Lisa. “Even the kids on the box look bored. They're miserable!” Amusingly the family on the Byzantium box looked miserable and the boy looked longingly at a box of Funopoly.

”We have to do something until the storm passes.” said Marge. “Now, just fill out these customs forms, and we can get started.” Marge handed out sheets.

Lisa gasped looking at something. “Twister!”

”No! Whenever we play that, my elbow touches Dad's junk.” said Bart annoyed.

”No! Outside the house!“ Lisa pointed to the kitchen window. The twister picked up Santa’s little Helper. He whimpered and scratched the window.

They all scream, including Maggie. XD!

Homer goes outside and grunts as he is buffeted by the strong wind and grabs the dog before he’s taken by the tornado. Probably to Oz...

However the wind slams the back door shut and Homer can’t open it. He goes to Santa’s little Helper’s dog house and they hide in it.

“You live like this?” Homer asked the dog. Santa’s little Helper whimpered. Well duh! Yes he lives in that dog house...

The wind pulls off the dog house roof.

”Ooh, dear Lord, if thy tornado must take me, please let it take me to Oz.“ Homer prayed. Coooool! “But don't let Flanders be the scarecrow.”

“Sorry, can’t make any promises!! Wheeeeee!” said Oscar as Professor Marvel/The Wizard of Oz as he spun about in the twister.

The wind stopped. Homer gasped. “We made it, boy!” He screamed as the tornado took the dog.


“Oh, my God. Oh, my God!” Homer yelled as the dog was taken. “This counts as a walk!”


In the basement the rest of the family and Oscar hid. They were shivering frightened. And Bart had a salad colander on his head! XD!

Homer hurried down the basement stairs.

“The tornado took old what's-his-name! I'm going after him!” Homer yelled.

”No, Homie, it's too dangerous.“ Marge explained.

Lenny and Carl were knocking on the basement window. Homer opened it to speak to them.

”Hey, Homer, we were just doing a little storm chasing.” said Lenny.

”Lenny, take us with you to find our dog!” said Homer.

”Homer no!” Marge protested.

”It's okay, Marge, they're professionals.“ Homer explained.

”What? 'Cause they rented a van and taped an antenna to the top?!” Marge replied annoyed at him quickly trusting his friends.

Carl scoffs. “Not just any tape.”

”Duct tape.” said Lenny.

“Oh, all right. But I'm coming with you to make sure no one does anything stupid.” said Marge.

”You will not! You can’t leave seven minors unsupervised!!” Oscar snapped. “If you do, I’ll... I’ll let Maggie set fire to the house again!”

”No you won’t Oz...” Lisa sighed.

”Don't worry, Marge, we bought a ton of safety gear from a highly-respected storm chaser's widow.” said Lenny.

Marge gasped horrified.

“It's not what you're thinking. He died of a heart attack.” said Lenny.

”Yeah, 80 feet up in the air.“ said Carl. They cheered and high fived.


We cut to Lenny and Carl getting in their truck. It is for their “Lenny and Carl’s Korean Tacos” business. Mmmmmmm! Korean taco... But then that went out of business and they became party planners with the tables and bouncy castles... but now they are storm chasers as the previous company names are crossed out. Next week their truck will be their mystery machine as they solve mysteries involving ghosts and monsters with a talking dog!

”No author...” Homer sighed.

“Behold, the awesome nonsense of nature.” said Carl.

Comic Book Guy was stuck in the hole of Lard Lad’s Donut.

”Worst predicament, ever!” Comic Book Guy sighed.

Lard Lad frowned trying to pull Comic Book Guy out from his donut’s hole. He stumbled about because he was standing on the deck of a large ferry and that was resting on the church.

”Okay Marge, Homer. Let’s roll!” They got in the van and drove off with Oscar chasing them.

”Wait! I’ll have two Korean tacos with kimchee and extra dog meat!” Oscar asked. “Or spicy chicken!”

”We don’t make tacos anymore!” Carl called back at him as they drove off.


Lenny and Carl drove Homer and Marge somewhere. To find their dog... I told you he’s in Oz...

“Okay, the tornado that took your dog looked like an F3 moving westerly.” said Lenny.

”No it’s going to the land of Oz!” Oscar caught up on a hoverboard. “Now stop and cook me some Korean tacos!”

Lenny shut his windows.

“I guess you do know your weather.” said Marge.

”Ha! That means a lot coming from such an attractive woman as you.“ said Lenny.

”Why thank you!” said Marge.

“I'd say she's prettier than a surface hoar.” said Carl.

“Hey!” Homer yelled.

”Surely, you didn't misunderstand my usage of "surface hoar." The sublimation of ice crystals that's colder than a frost point.“ said Carl showing him a Wikipedia article on his laptop. Suddenly someone edited all mentions of the words Surface Hoar to Service Whore. “Oooooh! Those vandals...” Carl sighed.

“Maybe.” said Homer. “Look, you guys obviously know about weather, but I understand something much more predictable: women. What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.”

”I'll tell you what women really want: a man who can hold a note the longest!” said Lenny.

“That is the stupidest...” said Homer.

“One, two, three, go!” said Carl. They all went Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

They continued going Laaaaaaaaaa as someone knocked over Jebediah Springfield! Yes! Take that you President battering thug! And Spider Pig/Plopper swung past on spider webs! Hehehehe!

At the Simpsons house Maggie sets fire to the house, Bart invites round Krusty, has a long hoagie sub sandwich swimming in vinegar delivered and invites round surgeons, satanists, the FBI and an African ambassador who whines he’s been invited by the king of Nigeria.

Lisa bangs pots and pans from stress.

Meanwhile Homer, Lenny and Carl continue to hold a note.

“Homer, you do not have to compete with your friends for me.” Marge nagged.

”I would never do that.“ said Homer.

(resumes vocalizing)

“Enough with the singing!” Marge yelled.

(all stop vocalizing)

”Fine, but I swear, I will win you back from Lenny.” said Homer.

”Thatbwas a reference to Dumb and Dumber when they do the most annoying sound in the world...” said Oscar.

“'Nado!” Carl yells. The tornado is in front of them spinning.

“Ooh. It's like God's vacuum cleaner...” said Marge in awe.

Classic orchestra plays as God vacuum cleans America. Then he takes the dust bag and pours the dirt under Canada and stamps on it. Then he pours fossils on America and laughs.

”Cutting it a bit close!” said Lenny as they stop a foot of so away from the tornado. It spins about.

“Not to worry-- we're safe in the van.” said Carl.

The tornado sucks off everything and the tires go flying into the Springfield tire fire.

They watch the tornado as Spider Pig flies about inside. The Springfield letters are floating inside and become the anagram Fried Pigs.

”Now that’s an anagram riddle...” said Oscar smug. “Fried pigs must hold some important significance!”

”Go home...” Homer groaned.

Some men were in a rowing boat...

“Anyone want their seat warmer? (gasps) It's gone....” Lenny gasped.

”Help me, God. What is it I'm paying you for every Sunday?“ Homer yelled as the tornado took him.

”I’m taking a pay cut because of your heathen son and daughter, Bart and Lisa!” God yelled.

Marge screamed as she was blown away but Bomer holding onto a telephone pole grabbed her and she clung onto him.

Michael Darling from Fox’s Peter Pan and the pirates screamed and flew away in his pyjamas until Peter grabbed him and flew to safety.

Homer saw a poster for a babysitter with tabs you take with her number on them.

“Can... Always use... a good babysitter...” he took a tab.

Marge scoffed. “As if Homie! Matt has gone screwy and made us horribly neglectful! How many times this year have we left the kids completely on their own and came back to the house on fire or in a wreck or angry child welfare officers?!”

Plot 2[]

The tornado stopped. Unfortunately no one went to Oz. If the episode gets dull I’m sending them to Oz and Oscar gets Korean tacos...

The tornado took Carl! Noooooo!

“I was just 27 years from retirement!” Carl screamed. Noooooo!

”Oh, my God, the twister got Carl, my best friend in the world. I can barely remember what he looks like.“ Lenny lamented.

“He was a black guy, but his voice sounded like a white guy.” said Homer.

”Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in.“ said Carl in a tree.

”It’s a miracle! You’re alive!” said Lenny.

“And here comes Santa Little Helper!” said Marge as the dog arrived. “Homie, we made it!”

They jinxed it because a bank fell on them. Trapping them in the revolving doors.

They scream.

“Oh my god!” Lenny gasped.

Nelson laughed.

“You're trapped in there good.” said Lenny.

“Once again, the big banks stick it to the little guy.” said Carl.

(both grunting)

“Come on. Are you pushing?” Marge grunted.


“Yes, it won't give!” said Homer.

(sighs) I don't know if we're going to be able to get out.” Marge lamented.

(squeaking) Homer writes in the condensation on the window.

“What are you writing?” Marge asked.

”Maybe the last words I'll ever write.“ Homer replied glumly.

The message said Save her first.

”Oh.” Marge sighed and hugged him.

”Lenny, you calling for help?” Carl asked.

”Let them have their moment.“ said Lenny sighing as he watched Homer rand Marge hug.

The Simpsons house continued to burn and Bart’s guests cause chaos.

”I think we went too far...” Bart said to Oscar and Hugo.

”You think?!” Lisa snapped as she tried to put out the fires.

Where Marge and Homer are trapped.

“Kent Brockman here at death's revolving door. Police have arrived on the scene after having fled the state at the first sign of the storm.“ said Kent.

Homer and Marge winced as Wiggum tried to shoot the glass. It was bulletproof.

“Bulletproof, as I somewhat suspected. But don't you worry, we're having a very expensive crane brought in from Shelbyville.” said Wiggum.

A wildlife expert arrived with a crane... the bird...

“What is this, a bird?” Wiggum asked.

“It's a bird known as a crane. And it got very sick on the way over.” said the wild life expert giving the crane drops.

”You idiot! I said an excavation crane!” Wiggum yelled.

“Well, our top priority is making sure that bird gets well.” said the wild life guy.

”Hey! Hello!“ Marge and Homer yelled.

”As for you, your only hope is this glass cutting guy from the hardware store.“ said Wiggum.

”You guys want to come out in a plain circle or a kind of a rosette shape?“ the hardware store glass cutter asked.

”Just cut the glass.“ Marge nagged.

” Everybody wants it done yesterday.“ said the glass cutter. He chuckled as he cut the glass.

”Uh, now we're ordering some lunch.” said Wiggum. “Uh, want to go halfsies on a pizza? FYI, that means you get one slice.” He said to the cutter. Greedy as usual Piggum...

“Okay, wise guy, you get to pull out the two corpses when we're done.” said the glass cutter.

Marge and Homer looked worried.


Marge and Homer arrived home with the dog, to find fire fighters putting out a fire. Krusty, mimes carrying a very long hoagie, satanists, surgeons, the ambassador of Zimbabwe and angry child welfare officers holding Maggie and Eric.

”What the?!” They gasped.

”I warned you this would happen...” said Oscar.

”This time was beyond our control! We got caught in a storm and got trapped in bank!” said Marge.

”Only one of you had to go storm chasing...” said a child welfare officer. “Your baby daughter and twin sons can obviously not be left unattended...”

“We’re here to perform a Gluteotonomy on a Miss Lisa Simpson...” said a surgeon. A butt amputation.

Bart laughed hysterically.

”I haven’t been paid and I’ve done an hour of jokes...” Krusty said smoking a cigar.


We cut to a few hours later. The Simpsons are all in the lounge on the couch in their pyjamas traumatised. Child welfare in Springfield is really slacking.

”Hey, cut us some slack! The Spucklers have had yet more inbred babies...” said the child welfare officers.

“Except for the face full of glass when the door finally collapsed, he did a pretty good job.” said Marge.

“Found another one.” said Homer picking out a shard of glass from his head and tossing it in the fire. The fire sparked and crackled.

”It was so scary thinking something might happen to you guys.” said Lisa worried.

”Mom, I am so glad you're alive.“ said Bart to Marge only. This bit is funny...

”Were you worried about me, boy?“ Homer in his pyjamas asked Bart.

“Sure. Why not?” Bart replied rudely and not bothered about Homer.

(stammers angrily) “Clearly, the boy's in shock.” Homer growled.

Bart was chuckling and had a sandwich. “Oh, yeah, I'm a wreck.”

“Stop being blasé!” Homer snapped snatching his sandwich.

”Never!“ Bart yelled. “Now gimme back my sammich!”

”Shan’t! Why are you eating at this hour?!” Homer had his sandwich.

“Now, I know you kids are scared by what happened, but it's bedtime. Just go into your dark rooms and shut your eyes.” said Homer holding the sandwich.

The kids all groan and go up to bed. Even the non canon ones like Hugo, Oscar and Eric...

”Can I have the sandwich?” Oscar asked.

”No! Go to bed!” said Homer holding the sandwich.

‘Homie, if we did both die, we've never named guardians. The kids could end up wards of the state., said Marge,

Homer gasped. “Connecticut?“

“No, our state!” said Marge.

Homer screamed. I’m sure they’ll care for your kids better than you have! “Okay, you're right. It's hard to imagine anyone else bringing up our kids, but I think the choice is obvious: my dad.” said Homer as Grampa was there suddenly, somehow. Um he came over to say hi..

,Oh, you'd let me have another chance after the way I screwed things up with you?“ Grampa asked, touched by Homer’s offer.

“Eh, good point. We'll find somebody else.” said Homer.

“Yep, you're a big bag of blubber soaked in worthless juice.” Abe yelled. Now how’s that for a burning insult! Hehehe! Not even an ice pack will heal that!

“I get it, Dad....” Homer groaned.

”Why I married you I'll never know.“ Abe yelled. Um when did that happen?!

”Oh, yeah? The tornado was more of a father to me than you.” Homer replied.

The tornado came in with a baseball glove and a ball.

”Not now, tornado dad....” Homer said to the tornado.

”If he breaks your heart, I’ll always be there for you son!” The tornado could speak now...

”Narrator stop goofing off...” Homer sighed.

“Okay, how about my brother? He's rich.” said Homer. He rang up Herb.

The phone beeped and he got an answering machine message. “Hi. You've reach Herb Powell. I'm poor again.” said the message.

(startled grunt) Homer grunted.

”There's really only one choice, or should I say two identical choices?” said Marge.

Homer screamed.

”Homie please! They’re my sisters....” Marge sighed.


The next day. Possibly.

“Sugar?” Selma offered Homer sugar for his tea as they were having tea for some reason... Oh and Ling is there but she’s magically older now.

”Oh, how very kind of you.“ said Homer. “I'm not giving our kids to these gravelly-voiced super hags.“ Homer whispered loudly to Marge, “One lump, please.“ he said to Selma as she put sugar in his tea.

“Homer, my sister's adopted Ling, and she's doing great.” said Marge.

“We've been tiger-mothering her. Ling, music time.” said Selma she clapped and gave Ling instructions. She played a flute.

”Ling, floor routine.“ Patty instructed and she did gymnastics.

“More syncopating.” barked Selma.

”Stick the landing!“ said Patty.

”And no resenting us ever.“ said Selma as Ling had rings spinning about on her arms and legs.

“That's some impressive flute-nastics.” Said Homer.

”Shut up! You can't praise her. She'll think she's smart and slack off.“ said Selma.

Ling was painting.

”Then all our loving would be for nothing.“ said Patty.

”Mmm, maybe we'd better go.“ said Marge.

”Didn't you want to ask us something?“ Selma asked.

“Good-bye forever.” Homer said as they left.

”Help me.“ Ling whimpered Quietly.

Poor Ling...



“I think it's time to go off family.” said Marge.

They were at Kirk and Luanne’s. Amusingly there was a cute family photo of them with Milhouse all happy but it had been hastily taped back together after Luanne during an argument with Kirk ripped it.

”Luanne and I have gone through some rough patches, so to be seen as stable enough to raise your kids, well, it would be an honor.” said Kirk.

“You know what else would be an honor? Having a husband who asks my opinion before inviting in three more mouths he can't feed.” Luanne snapped.

”Actually it’s seven. You’re taking the non canon kids too. And Oscar.” said Homer.

”Hey, Luanne, you always asked me what I saw in Vicky at the Walgreens. Well, I'll tell you what I saw: not you!“ Kirk yelled.

“You told me you didn't even know her name.” Luanne snapped.

“Well, that's her name, okay?” Kirk replied as the bickered.

Homer and Marge left.

“Let me get this straight. We have 17 kids, and you want us to take three more?” asked Brandine.

”I’m sure you have more than 17...” said Homer.

”Anything new that wanders into this house winds up in the stew pot.“ said Cleatus.

They had cooked the postman! Aaaaaaaagh! Cannibal yokels!

Homer and Marge screamed when the saw they had cooked a postman.

“Hey, I'm so sorry, but we just adopted a baby.” said Julio and Brady.

”Give me back my pants. I've got to get back to my unit.“ A cop wearing just a diaper and a bonnet said sharply. Oh god! They’re into ABDL! XD!

”Someone's cranky.“ Julio teased the cop.

”You should totally leave Bart, Lisa and Maggie with these guys!” Oscar laughed. “I love meeting fellow ABDLs!”

”Um... no....” said Homer.

Plot 3[]

They then asked the other townsfolk. Their immediate reaction to flee screaming and hide told Marge and Homer they were less tolerant of Bart, Lisa and Maggie and didn’t want them.

Homer tried to grab Dr Hibbert.

”Ahehehehehehe!” He chuckled and slipped out of his hands and down a sewer.

”Dr Hibbert?! Seriously?! After what he did to poor Hugo?!” Oscar snapped.

”You are obsessed with that little- Um mutant.” said Homer.

Oscar frowned. He didn’t like Homer calling Hugo any nasty names.

They then asked a surfer couple.

”Like totally brah! That’s gnarly!” said the husband.

”Tubular!” said the wife.


”Way cool!”

”Hell no!” Oscar refused to live with a surfer couple.

The Simpsons took their kids dressed up nicely to the next guardians they hoped would be guardians.

”Why are we dressed up nicely?” Bart asked.

”This family is really posh.” said Homer. “So behave.”

The posh family were probably Mormons or something.

”Okay. Absolutely not...” said Homer as the Simpsons all fled.

Homer then pointed out random things to adopt their kids.

”Homer that’s a bum. Homer no! That’s Moe and some trash bags...” said Marge.

”Why I’m great with kids, Midge!” said Moe.

”No means no, for Elmo!” Elmo slapped him.


They eventually found a nice childless couple.

”All you need to know is that I’m a politeness monster that eats pleases and farts thank yous.” said Bart.

”And I’m what my brother is pretending to be...” said Lisa.

Bart belched.

Oscar laughed.

“That’s not very gentlemanly...” said the foster mom who would possibly be their foster mom if something terrible happened to Marge and Homer.

”Lady I’ve been married or attempted to marry three times...” said Bart. “Unfortunately my parents got the heads up each time from my sister.” He sighed. “So I know how to be a gentleman...”

”Bart you can’t get married! You’re too young! You still ask me to check your closet for the boogeyman at night!” said Marge at his wedding to Darcy.

Oscar screamed with laughter in the aisle.

”Yeah sure laugh Oz, you ask my mom to do the same thing...” said Bart.

”Nope. I ask your mom to check my closet for gay men...” said Oscar.

The present.

”Anyway ma’am, the whole point of this episode, in our lives, is that Marge and Homer are worried that if they die suddenly, there’d be no one to look after their kids.” said Oscar.

”Yeah, Dad might have a coronary during the night and crush mom!” said Bart.

”Bart! It’s that smart aleck attitude that puts people off!” Homer scolded him.

“Anyway for an episode where the main characters are worried about having a fatal boo boo, imagine how ironic it would be if something horrible did happen...” said Oscar.

”How tragically ironic...” Sideshow Bob quipped as he arrived riding a giant lobster clawed mech, with flamethrowers, because the episode needs a villain...

”Nyaaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” The Simpsons screamed.

”Oz do something! Use your guns for once!” Bart begged.

“Don't worry. I have a secret weapon. One more deadly then any gun.“ Oscar grinned and winked.

“Lisa's face?” Bart asked.

Lisa punched him.

”Um no. A singularity bomb.” said Oscar. He threw the singularity bomb and it shrank Bob and the mech into a singularity.

“How about asking that Japanese guy who set the world record for eating hot dogs? He's like a successful version of Dad.“ asked Bart.

Homer growled and strangled Bart.

”Homer not in front of potential guardians.” Marge nagged.

”Oh we’ll be happy to be your kids guardians! Anything to get them away from that monster!” said The husband angry at Homer.

”D’oh!” Homer groaned.


(groans) The Simpsons groaned.

“Maybe we should just give up for now, have some fried clams-“ Marge sighed.

“I want steamed clams!” said Oscar being annoying.

“Hey!” Principal Skinner in the background yelled.

“...and collect sea glass.” Marge sighed.

”Put a sock in it Oz, if you cannot say anything sensible...” Homer sighed.

“Wait, what about that couple? They look pretty cozy.” said Homer.

“That's Moe and a bag of garbage.” Marge sighed.

“Dad you pointed that out earlier...” Bart groaned.

”How about Mrs Krabappel?” A fan who wrote a weird story where Marge dies and the kids are raised by Mrs. Krabappel.

”Uh no...” said Bart.

”Well she is married and in a stable marriage to Ned...” said Marge.

”I said absolutely no!” Bart insisted. “It would be really weird...”

They drove somewhere.

A Walrus yawned.

”What did you do to my legs?! You Nazi walrus bastard!” Oscar cried.

”Oz! Language!” The Simpsons told him off.

They encountered a young couple.

”Oh look! Double income, no kids! Five o clock!” said Marge.

The couple seemed nice.

”Oh Atlantic accents...” said Marge.

”Yes we’re from Atlanta!” said the wife.

”Oh I wanted them to be from Atlantis...” Oscar whined.


”Hey I know this place! They filmed The Wire here!” said Lisa.

The Simpsons screamed and drove off.

Then the Simpsons just happen to find the ideal couple. A young muscular surfer called Marv and his wife Portia.

”Wow! Such a flat stomach! How did you get it so toned?” Homer asked in awe.

”Oh just an awesome side effect of being a surfer.” said Marv.

“Woooo! Jackpot!” Bart said joyfully with glee. Rubbing his hands together.

”And this is the love of my life, Portia.” said Marv.

”Oooooh! Another surfer?” Bart asked.

”Environmental Lawyer, actually.” said Portia.

”Ooooooooh!” Lisa gasped with awe and pride.

”The environment doesn’t need a lawyer! When it’s mad at us it just besets us with floods, droughts, volcanic eruptions, mosquitoes and poison monkeys!” said Oscar.

“And in my free time, I prosecute record companies who withhold royalties from elderly blues musicians.“ said Portia.

Lisa sighed in awe and smiled.

”Okay, now this story has ran out of steam. You guys are on your own. I’m going off to get some Korean Tacos. Preferably from a vendor that serves dog meat...” said Oscar leaving.

Meanwhile in Springfield the tornado took the Wiggum to Oz.

”Ding dong! The witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong! The wicked witch is deeeeeeadddd!” The munchkins sung.

”Oh my god! Midgets!” Clancy gasped.

Oscar found a Korean taco vendor that served dog meat.

”I’ll travel two kimchee and dog meat tacos...” said Oscar buying the tacos.

At where the Simpsons are.

”Homer, I’ve just had a horrible thought.” said Marge.

Homer chuckled. “Women and their horrible thoughts...”

“What if they are better for the kids than us?” asked Marge.

”Mom, everyone is better for us than you guys... The Mom and Dad who locked their psychotic son up in the attic...” said Hugo.

”Why you ungrateful little! Maybe you shouldn’t have been so crazy!” Homer snapped and strangled Hugo.

Marge sighed exasperated.

Thankfully Marv and Portia were happy to hang out with them still. They went to the beach.

A Homer from Matt’s forgetful canon picked up a lobster put it between two shell halves and was about to eat it.

”Nooooooo!” Homer screamed and snatched the lobster from him. “How could you! I mean myself, eat Pinchy! Oh poor Pinchy! You were too pure for this world!” Homer sobbed and cried.

”When will you respect continuity?! You hack!” Comic Book Guy ranted at Matt who face palmed and shook his head.


Marv was then surfing with surfing music in the background when a dolphin, possibly an evil intelligent one swam past him on a tidal wave.

Oscar squealed and leapt out of the water and rode the dolphin. “Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!” He squealed from his autism because he loves dolphins.

Bart was mortified.

”Oz can you go off and do your own thing...” he sighed.

”No I had my Korean tacos. Wooooooo! I’m eating dog! You mad?! Hehehehe!” said Oscar eating a dog meat and kimchi taco.

Bart sighed.

The Simpsons then went to Marv and Portia’s house.

It was fancy with glass walls.

”Great place Marv! No sharp corners... A cool Grampa...” said Homer sat at the table.

”My hobbies are shutting up when told to and giving out money.” Marv’s dad gave Homer money.

”Thanks Dad...” Homer cried tearfully.

Abe glared at him.

”Homer! Don’t hurt your dad’s feelings! He’s raised you single handedly!” Marge said sharply.

”Dad I have no idea why you’re here! You’re too feeble and old to be the kids guardian! There’s a higher chance of something bad happening to you first, before myself and Marge!”

”Yeah and when we wouldn’t let Mom and Dad enjoy their second honeymoon in Miami you were horrified by the thought of being our guardian when we thought that tornado killed Mom and Dad.” said Bart.

”Are we just repeating storylines now?!” Oscar asked.


In a field.

”Here boy! Here Santa’s little Helper!” said Bart.

Santa’s little Helper barked and arrived. He coughed up a frog, the frog coughed up a beetle. The frog then slurped up the beetle with his tongue and Santa’s little Helper ate the frog,

”Woooooow... nature is so cool....” said Hugo seeing this happen.

”Eeeeeew!” Lisa groaned.

Marv and Portia then visited the Simpson house.

”Um where’s Bart?” Portia asked.

”Oh he’s over at a friends so he can’t be here...” said Homer mumbling.

Bart is in Sea Captain’s ship tied to the mast.

”Arrrrr! Your father paid me to keep you tied to me mast for five Arrrrrrs!” said Sea Captain.

”Was that five hours or Arrrrrrrrs?” Bart asked.

”Um... both...” said Sea Captain.

Plot 4[]

At home, Homer set up Hugo’s chemistry set and boiled a donut with it into a fluid via the Bunsen burner. Homer then tied a band round his arm and was about to inject the donut into his arm like a heroin addict.

”Homer do you have to do that now?!” Marge said sharply.

Oscar came in with Bart.

”Hey! I said-“ Homer said annoyed.

”Oh I know what you did you monster! You tied Bart to a mast on some guy’s ship so he wouldn’t embarrass you in front of Marv and Portia.” Oscar said sharply.

”Oz, thanks pal but I can stand up for my self...” said Bart. “You jackass! You left me tied to a mast on a ship with that weird captain Guy! How dare you treat me like some Meg Griffin!”

“The difference is You deserve such treatment. Meg doesn’t!” said Homer.

Bart growled and kicked Homer’s shin and stormed off.

”Ow!” Homer yelped upon being kicked.