Brother's Little Helper When Bart causes a fire at school during school fire safety because he flooded the gym the school recommends he be put on focusyn, a behaviour altering medicine or be expelled. However Oscar takes offence to kids being goofed up on pills to make them behave and in a revelation we find out he has Aspergers.
Plot[]
Chalkboard gag: Pork is not a verb
Couch Gag: Korean Artist couch gag
..........
The school is having a fire safety seminar. Lisa is genuinely interested and asks sensible questions. However Bart keeps asking Skinner to namely name the equipment namely so he accidentally says double entendres.
“Principal Skinner what would you say is the most important tool in fire safety?” Lisa asked.
“Oh prevention! And a bucket of sand!” said Skinner.
“Her Skinner, what’s that?” Bart asked pointing to a bucket of fire retardant.
“Oh it’s retardant.” said Skinner.
Bart laughed. “It sure is!” Oscar slapped him upside the head angry at him for making fun of disabled and with learning or development difficulties people. “Ow!” Bart whined.
“And this?” Bart has a hose lengthener.
“That’s a hose lengthener.” said Skinner.
Bart laughed. “You need one!” Oscar laughed too.
“Okay that one was funny.” said Oscar. Hugo nodded.
“And this?” Bart has a megaphone thing.
“Just read the label on it. It’s an extra large flamer...” said Skinner.
Bart laughed hysterically.
“Oooooooh!” said a cartoon gay.
Bart was then mucking about on a fire engine.
“Attention everyone! You are all lame!” said Bart in the speaker intercom.
Oscar snatched the intercom. “Look everyone! I’m Fireman Sam!” Everyone laughed at him for being babyish. Bart face palmed, feeling sorry for Oscar.
“Bart get out of there and find something constructive to do!” Skinner yelled.
“How about I go and find something deconstructive to do?” Bart giggled and ran off.
Skinner sighed frustrated.
“Just say the word, Skinner and I’ll impale him on this garden hoe! Right through his back!” said Willie wanting to kill Bart. “I could make it look like accident! Or suicide!”
“Willie, are you still mad at that time I cleaved you in the back with a fire axe in Treehouse of Horror V?” Skinner asked worried he had become obsessed with getting revenge on people axing him in the back. Meanwhile Ralph thought Smokey Bear was Santa Clause and kept asking for Christmas presents.
“And I want a doll and a fire truck...” said Ralph to Smokey Bear. “And a monkey, and a friend for the monkey...”
Smokey Bear turned out to be an actual anthropomorphic bear, not a guy in a costume.
“(Bear roaring)” Smokey got up and roared like a real beat at Ralph.
“Agh! A real bear! Shoot it!” Chief Wiggum cried.
“No! I like bears!” Oscar whined. Teddy jumped into his arms and hugged him.
Milhouse was petting the Dalmatian dogs. According to Paw Patrol the fire brigade must have Dalmatians for some reason.
“Hi spotted doggies! Know any tricks?” Milhouse asked.
“Tricks? Heh! These dogs are so inbred they can’t stand up!” said a firefighter.
The dogs badly deformed from inbreeding whined and groaned.
...
Then Skinner put on a play about fire safety.
“Fire can be our servant, be it toasting S’mores or raining down on Charlies. (Slur for the Vietcong)” said Skinner.
Lisa was horrified he could be so bigoted.
Oscar held up a sign reading. “Oi! Don’t be racist!”
“Seymour! How dare you use such language in front of the children!” Agnes scolded him.
“I’m sorry Mother! It’s all my years in Nam!” said Skinner. “Excuse me children, I need a lie down.” He went off to his office.
“Ahem yes... Children try to ignore Skinner’s remark about the Vietnamese and please! Don’t tell your parents! We don’t want anymore lawsuits!” said Super intendant Chalmers.
Then Ned Flanders does a play as a drug taking hippie who doesn't bother to buy a smoke alarm. He set himself on fire as part of the role of his character accidentally setting himself alight, however the controlled fire grows out of control.
"The stop, Drop and roll isn't working! It's just spreading the flames!" Ned cries. The school staff try to use a hose to put him out but Bart used up all the water for a prank.
"The water's gone!" Skinner gasped.
"Skinner! The gym's been flooded! It's like Loch Ness in there!" Willie explained. "And hurry up and put out that daft sissy before I get competition on my revenge against you all! I still intend to make ye all pay, especially the wee children!"
Bart gulped.
Luckily they got the fire out by rolling Ned in a spare stage curtain.
Everyone went to check out the gym from its balconies because the lower entrance was inaccessible due to the flood.
The gym was now an oversized fish tank except without the fish. The water came up to the top tiers of seats.
"This has Bart Simpson written all over it! Bart, to my office this instant!" Skinner demanded.
"You are in so much trouble." Hugo said to his twin.
...
Marge and Homer were called in to be explained about Bart's disruptive and highly dangerous prank.
“Bart’s prank has gone far beyond the light hearted hijinks into endangering lives. And damaging a very good sports hall!”
....
“Skinner the waters been flushed out and the hall is as good as new!” said Willie. “I also found some sports goggles in there!”
“My sports goggles!” Oscar yelled taking them and strapping them over his hairdo to hold it up.
.....
“I should expel Bart right now, but... I am willing to reconsider if...” said Skinner as the psychiatrist whispered to him. "His twin brother Hugo still refuses to wear any shoes."
"I have been recommended by the school psychiatrist to put Bart on a dangerous experimental...”
“Candy bar?” Homer asked.
“No, medication." said Skinner.
Marge gasped.
"It's a little pill called Focusyn. It neutralises wayward signals in the brain and will keep Bart focused." explained the psychiatrist.
“Without it Bart could have ADD like John Leguizamo.” said Skinner.
“How dare you insult Live action Luigi and Sid the Sloth from Ice Age!” Homer yelled.
Bart face palmed.
“Mr Simpson this is serious and-(noises of someone messing about in a cupboard by throwing stuff out.) Good Lord! He’s got into the prep closet!” said Skinner as Bart rummaged about in the prep closet.
“Gimme an F! Gimme an Art! That spells! Fart!” Bart was cheerleading with the pom-poms and farted.
“Now if only he could come out of the prep closet! Ahehehehe!” Marge chuckled making a gay joke.
Homer growled at her for triggering his homophobia.
Marge sighed. She didn't approve of medicating unwanted behavior.
"Or I could just have Bart expelled." Skinner explained.
"Fine, we'll put him on Focusyn..." Marge sighed.
"Oh, and Bart, you're no longer hall monitor as punishment for your prank." said Skinner.
"Noooooooo!" cried Bart.
......
They then went to a science lab to pick up Bart’s Focusyn.
The scientists there explained how it worked.
“Here is a tank of Guinea pigs. Running around like morons.” said a scientist as they observed a tank of Guinea pigs running around squeaking.
“Awwwwww! Guinea pigs! Hawwwwwwww!” Oscar was triggered into his Aspergers by their cuteness.
“Now to give them some Focusyn.” said the scientist. The guinea pigs suddenly calmed down and sat at desks. The female scientist was able to get them to pay absolute attention to a guinea pig puppet.
“Oh! That’s amazing!” said Marge.
“Woooow! You made them your slaves!” said Homer. “Mwuhahahaha!”
“No Mr Simpson it doesn’t enslave people...” said the scientists. “It helps kids focus in class.
“It causes 44% less Clownism!” said the lady scientist.
Clownja was horrified and gasped in anguish.
“And 60% less sass mouth.” said the man scientist.
...
Later at home, Homer was trying various methods of getting Bart to take his meds. Force feeding him it, tricking him with laced gum and threatening him. However Bart hid in his tree house.
He was in there playing Super Mario on his Gameboy.
“Shred it! Shred it! Extra glove, extra glove. Mushroom bonus! Reload!” said Bart playing a very odd version of Mario.
“Bart! Get down here now and take your Focusyn!” Homer yelled.
“No!” said Bart.
“Why you little!” Homer yelled.
Marge came out and berated Homer for being forceful. She spoke peacefully to Bart.
"Honey, we won't make you take the pills if you don't want to!" said Marge.
Bart came down.
"But will you take them for me dear? Please?" Marge asked.
"Ok Mom..." said Bart and he took his pills.
"Nice one Marge." Homer tried some of the pill laced gum and went crazy!
However the next day when Oscar and Lisa found out that Bart was being medicated they were not happy. Especially Oscar.
"I am extremely offended by the idea of kids being goofed up on drugs to make them behave!" Oscar explained doing finger quotes on behave. "My late parents used to medicate my behaviour all the time, because they couldn't handle my Aspergers!"
"Oscar? You have Aspergers?" Lisa asked.
"Yes..." Oscar replied.
"Well that explains a lot..." Bart sighed.
"The point is I won't tolerate you drugging Bart to make him behave! He is entitled to have his own personality! Even if he is a little destructive..." Oscar ranted.
"I have to agree with Oscar. It just seems wrong now I think about it to alter someone's behaviour like that! What if the government started drugging people to all think a certain way?" Lisa got on her soap box.
Homer was in one of his difficult moods.
"Aspergers? Shouldn't you be on Focusyn too?" Homer looked at Bart's jar of pills.
"Keep those away from me! Or else!" Oscar yelled backing away.
"Or what?" Homer called his bluff.
"Don't test me! You don't want to see me when I'm angry!" Oscar started to snap.
Homer was about to provoke him.
"Dad don't!" Bart interrupted him.
"What's he gonna do? He's just a scrawny little kid!" Homer retorted. Oscar was getting madder. "If you're so screwy perhaps you shouldn't be in Bart's class. Don't they have remedial classes there for kids like you?"
Oscar snapped and exploded like a volcano crossed with a super saiyen. He screamed with primal anger as he gave off a large amount of energy and heat.
"Oh now you've done it Homeboy..." Bart sighed.
"You!" Oscar yelled at Homer in a layered echoey voice. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!" He produced loads of guns and buzzsaws and rocket launchers.
Homer screamed.
"Oscar don't! Please!" Bart and Lisa protested. Luckily Oscar calmed down. He didn't say anything for a bit as he was still trying to contain his anger.
"I have to get out of here before I flip. I need some space..." Oscar left.
Everyone glared at Homer.
"What?" Homer asked.
Plot 2[]
Oscar was sulking in Bart's treehouse when Bart and Lisa found him. They comforted him and apologized for Homer's behavior.
Oscar calmed down and went back inside with them. However they blanked Homer.
In Bart’s room.
“So... you’re an Aspie... that explains so much...” said Bart.
“It’s Aspergers. With a touch of autism.” said Oscar. “And it explains what?” Oscar asked.
“You screaming at soccer balls with pentagons on them... you screaming at dolphins and calling them dolphas...” said Bart.
“I love dolphas!” Oscar squealed.
“And you poop hamburgers. Look you just left some on the floor right now!” said Bart. Oscar pooped hamburgers out of his shorts onto Bart’s bedroom floor.
“Those are ass burgers. That’s how Aspergers manifests in South Park. They’re perfectly edible despite coming from my butt.” said Oscar.
“Uh no thanks Oz...” said Bart.
Hugo began gnawing at his hands and feet like an animal.
...
The following morning.
“Mom it’s time for me to take my dope.” said Bart.
“Bart! It’s not dope! It’s something to make you focus!” said Marge.
“Well all I know is that it’s made my testicles enlarge...” said Bart with grotesquely swollen testicles.
“Bart! Get those oranges out of your shorts!” Marge told him off. He did so and handed the oranges to her.
“In the lunches you go!” said Marge putting the oranges in Bart and Lisa’s lunches.
“Eeeeeeew! Mom!” Lisa groaned.
“Oh grow up Lisa...” Marge sighed.
“Yeah... grow up...” said Bart taking his Focusyn.
Hugo finished eating his daily fish heads.
....
However for Oscar things got worse. At School he was moved to a remedial class.
“Oscar over here. You will no longer be attending third grade.” said Skinner. “You’ve been transferred to a remedial class in light of the school discovering your Aspergers.”
“What?!” Oscar yelled.
But despite his protests he had to attend.
Bart's class mates from his remedial class in Cypress Creek were there.
"Why are you here?" Oscar asked.
"I'm from Canada and they think I'm slow eh?" said the Canadian kid.
"Why is Canada such a big joke to everyone?!" Oscar addressed the fourth wall.
"I fell off the slide and woke up here!" said a girl.
"I set fire to things!" said a boy wearing a green sweater. Oscar looked unnerved by this fact.
To Oscar’s annoyance the remedial class were kept further behind because they used round pieces of paper to avoid paper cuts and were learning today how to draw the letter C.
“Today class we will be learning to draw the letter C.” said the teacher.
“Wait, wait, wait... we are already behind the other kids so we are catching up by learning slower than them?!” Oscar asked annoyed. He then circled his finger pointed at his head drawing an imaginary circle and going “cuckoo! Cuckooo!” Like a cuckoo clock. The remedial kids copied him.
“Gerald! Suzy! Warren! Stop it!” The teacher stopped them.
“Well it seems someone has the grumps. I’m sorry Oscar but this is how I teach.” said the teacher to Oscar.
Oscar sighed and slumped into his desk. The wannabe arsonist kid started tapping him before slapping him hard. The boy was quickly told off by the teacher.
During a bathroom break Oscar went to his locker and fetched one of his guns. A sub machine gun.
He bursted into Skinner's office and took him hostage.
"Who's bright idea was it to have me moved to a remedial class! Come on! I want answers." Oscar demanded.
"I-I got a call from Mr Simpson this morning!" said Skinner.
"I knew it!" Oscar snapped. "I'll leave now, but I demand a few things."
"Anything! Just don't kill me!" Skinner cried.
"Put me back in Mrs Krabappel's class. And make Bart hall monitor again." said Oscar.
"Y-yes! R-right away." Skinner replied.
...
On the way home Oscar was in a dark mood and carrying his gun.
"Oscar where are you going?" Bart asked.
"I just want a word with your dad." Oscar said in monotone.
"Why have you got your gun?!" Bart asked.
"I just want to talk to him." Oscar replied.
Oscar went to the kitchen where Homer was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.
"You just had to push me didn't you!?" Oscar yelled. Pointing his gun at Homer.
Homer screamed.
"Oscar no!" Bart and Lisa begged Oscar to reconsider.
"Why should I spare him?!" Oscar demanded.
"Wait! What if we kick Homer out?" Marge asks.
"What?!" Homer yelled.
"You heard me! We don't want you here anymore!" Marge yelled.
Homer left to pack his things.
...
Homer resorted to living in Bart's treehouse. Lisa brought him some pudding.
“Eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding!” said his brain repeatedly.
“Ok but then we have to get to work.” said Homer.
“Dad are you talking to yourself?” said Lisa.
She really wanted him back and missed him. However Homer had gone a little mad from missing Marge and made a new wife from a house plant.
"Don't worry Lisa, I've made us a new mommy!" He showed the house plant with a paper plate stuck to it and Marge's face drawn on it.
"Dad that's just weird!" Lisa remarked.
"Do not insult your mother! Go on! Kiss her... Kiss her...!" Homer was getting his obsession with making people kiss things again.
"Dad! No!" Lisa knocked the plant and it fell out of the treehouse and broke.
"Aaaaaagh! Oh no! What have you done?!" Homer screamed.
"Dad, you have issues... You and Mom need to make up..." Lisa explained.
"She won't forgive me until I apologize for putting Bart's screwy friend in a screwy class for screwy kids..." Homer replied.
"Dad you need to sort out that attitude it's really offensive!" Lisa explained. "People with disabilities are not something to be afraid of or locked away! They have rights!"
"Fine..." Homer sighed.
...
Bart was reinstated as hall monitor but because he went back on his compromise to be medicated he was suspended for a week.
“Oz, I don’t know why you’re acting so high and mighty, because of your civil rights for disabled people campaign that kid with Downs in second grade starved himself to death...” said Bart.
“I was giving him independence!” Oscar yelled.
“Oz, independence means death for those remedial kids!” said Bart.
“Okay they can stay stuck in their overgrown crèche playing with round paper and safety scissors... the green and yellow ones are for left handed people...” said Oscar.
“Yes I know Oscar. Ned sells them at his Leftorium...” said Bart,
The next morning from Lisa coming to the treehouse and him attempting to replace Marge with a house plant, Homer was in the treehouse observing that Lovejoy and Helen we’re visiting. “Ah good! God demands the sanctity of marriage. Lovejoy will have to listen to his God and make Marge take me back! Or...” said Homer.
“Divorce him Marge.” said Lovejoy.
“D’oh!” Homer groaned. “Disobey God will ya...” he grabbed a cardboard tube to speak into.
“Thou dare to dishonor the sanctity of marriage?!” A voice boomed throughout the house.
“God?!” Lovejoy gasped.
“Yes Reverend. It is I God! The sanctity of marriage is a blessed thing! Make Marge get back with Homer!” said God, actually Homer speaking through a cardboard tube.
“You heard God...” said Lovejoy.
“Oooooooh! Reverend you of all people should know the foundations of Lutheranism were laid down by that fat oaf King Henry the eighth just so he could leave his wife!” Marge ranted annoyed.
...
Then Homer tried various methods to contact Marge, such as hiding in the back of her car and talking through a cardboard tube from wrapping paper to sound like a voice echoing in her memory. He got thrown out of the car.
Then he got in the house somehow. He was on his knees and desperate, wearing smelly dirty clothes.
“Marge I bring you the greatest gift of all! Complete and utter dependence!” said filthy Homer.
“That’s a terrible thing!” Marge gasped.
“Oh...” said Homer.
"It's not me you should be apologising to, it's Oscar." Marge explained.
Oscar was glaring at Homer and crossing his arms.
"Look I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being so rude and senseless about your Aspergers... I thought I was doing what I thought was needed to get you the right care." Homer grovelled.
"I don't want care! I'm fine with being taught like any normal kid! I don't want to be in a remedial class! I don't need a one to one assistant! And I certainly don't need medication!" Oscar ranted.
"Oh, I better call Skinner then about that second one..." Homer went to the kitchen. Oscar rolled his eyes.
"So do you forgive Homer?" Marge asked.
"Yeah... At least he's trying..." Oscar sighed.
...
That night Homer snuck into the boys' room and tried to drug them with Focusyn. However Bart woke up and fired his slingshot at him.
"D'oh!" said Homer as the screen went black.
The next day, which was a school day. Oscar dealt with being transferred back to Bart’s class but having a one to one assistant. She nagged him to do his work and not goof off with Bart and Milhouse.
“Go away... before I shoot you...” Oscar threatened her with his handgun. She quit right that moment.
“I don’t get paid enough for this!” The one to one assistant left.
Bart glared at Oscar.
“Oscar when will you accept sometimes you need help and that it’s not shameful to admit it?” Bart groaned as he was scribbling in his exercise book instead of doing the assignment or even half heartedly doing it. Oscar had drawn a clown with a flamethrower.
“I don’t need help.” said Oscar annoyed. “Except to inject me with my insulin. I’m queasy around needles.”
“Oz you’re drawing a clown with a flamethrower on your assignment...” Bart groaned.
“You’re not even doing your assignment!” Oscar yelled.
...
At home with the Simpsons. Oscar got an F on his assignment for drawing a clown with a flamethrower. There was a disappointed note from Mrs Krabappel saying "2 times twelve is definitely not a clown with a flamethrower."
"Ooooooh.... Oscar..." Marge sighed disappointed. Meanwhile Homer was strangling Bart for getting an F on his assignment.
"Why can't you be more like your brother?!" Homer yelled
Hugo and Lisa got As.
"No fair! I get marked down for being a little miss know it all and Hugo doesn't get penalized for controversy? That's one of the things the school board is supposed to take marks off of!" Lisa whined.
"Wait! I just forgot to add something to it before I handed it in!” Oscar took his assignment and scribbled on it. He drew a pirate hat and eyepatch on the clown with a flamethrower.
Bart face palmed.
Billy from Grim Adventures laughed.
“I don’t get that. You’re frightened of clowns Billy!” said Hugo to Billy.
“Gotta warn the clowns are evil somehow!” said Billy smirking.
Plot 3[]
Later on when the kids went to their rooms, Marge was debating her marriage to Homer to Lovejoy again.
“Divorce him.” said Lovejoy. I want to write the Lovejoy as disliking Homer that they feel Marge is better off without him.
“But isn’t that a sin?” Marge asked.
“Marge, the bible says lots of things... technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom...” said Lovejoy.
Oscar who was eavesdropping from the staircase grimaced and looked at the fourth wall as if he hound that really stupid.
“Thou shall not go to the bathroom!” God boomed.
“But Lord! I really have to go!” Moses begged. He really needed the bathroom to pee.
“Silence Sinner!” God boomed.
“Yeah... sure Reverend...” Marge sighed.
