Boy-Scoutz n the Hood

Boy Scoutz N the Hood After an all syrup squishee bender, Bart accidentally signs up for Boy Scouts. His group are led by Ned Flanders and after convincing Homer to come they get stranded at sea.

Plot

Bart and Milhouse were playing in the arcade. However Milhouse blew all his money on Kevin Kostner’s Waterworld.

“Game over insert forty quarters.” The game ended after Milhouse moved Kevin one space.

“Awww I’m out of money...” said Milhouse.

“Milhouse! Ssssh!” said Bart. An alarm for broke customers went off.

“I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave!” said Squeaky voices teen.

They were thrown out of the arcade.

Homer is eating peanuts when he drops one and it rolls under the sofa. "Noooooo!" He yells and tries to get it. "Ow! Pointy! (Wet squish) Eeeeew! Slimy! Aaaah! Moving! Ah ha! Uh it's just a stupid 20 dollar note."

"You fool! That can buy many peanuts!" says his brain.

"Explain." Homer asks his brain,

"Money is used to exchange for groceries." His brain replies.

"Woohoo!" Homer runs off but trips on a peanut. "Doh!" he drops his money that then flies away in the wind. "Nooooooooo!"

The green dollar note flies about town until it drops in front of Bart and Milhouse who are bored.

"Look! A 20 dollar note!" Bart says grabbing the note before it can fly off again.

"Let's spend it!" says Milhouse. He decides to spend some of it at the laundrette. They are standing in their underwear waiting for their clothes to be cleaned.

"I get to decide how to spend the rest of the money..." Bart sighs.

...

Back in their clothes they go to the Kwik-e mart.

"One squishee, made entirely of syrup..." Bart asks. Everyone gasps, including Apu.

"Very well, Bart Simpson." Apu sets the syrup dispenser to experimental and pours out a green all syrup squishee. However the machine shakes violently. "She won't hold! She's breaking up!" Everyone except Bart and Milhouse evacuate the store. However the machine soon stops once the squishee cup is full. "All done. Thank you and come again."

Bart takes his change and his squishee. Outside Apu's store they both try to use straws to drink it, but it's too thick.

"It's too thick! You try." Milhouse passes the squishee. Bart takes off the lid and drinks it. The syrup makes him go weird...

"How's it taste, Bart? Bart? Bart?" Ask three Milhouses.

"Bhjji,kjkhfdfhkjhdferhugfdblee!" Bart speaks in gibberish.

”How dare you! My grandmother was a saint! Get out!” Oscar snapped.

"Gimme that!" Milhouse snatches the squishee and tries some. He is soon over come by the syrup and makes a silly noise.

"Cool! All that syrup gave me an idea! Let's go on a spending spree! With a musical sing along of course!"

They sing "Springfield, Springfield!" During a montage of them spending money. They buy luxury skateboards to test at a skateboard park. Stay in the VIP section of an arcade. Get covered in bubble gum.

”Springfield! Springfield!”

“Springfield! Springfield!”

”It’s one hell of a town!”

”The schoolyard’s out, and shopping mall’s down!”

”Springfield! Springfield!”

”New York! New York!” A sailor sung.

”New York is that a way, man!” Bart told the sailor where NeW York was.

”Thanks kid!” said the sailor.

"Mmmm! Free goo..." Homer says taking some the goo they're stuck in.

Then they go to see Cats the musical. But Bart makes the performers who are actually cat people go nuts while Milhouse was picking at the gum under his chair by spitting spit wads at the performers. We can hear cat screeching.

And get tattoos.

"They better be real ones..." Oscar asks them.

"No, I already got in trouble for my Mother one. I'm not doing that again..." Bart replied.

A sailor then joins in before being redirected to New York. Then later in the song Barney has some of their pixie drink.

”Hey don’t hog all that!” said Bart jumping about high on sugar.

”You pixies sure know how to brew a great drink! Uuuuuurp!” said Barney.

Then Apu’s head laughed.

...

The next day Bart is in bed with a headache.

"Ungh... My head hurts... I don't remember anything..."

"Not even this?" Lisa pulls off his blanket. Bart's wearing a Boy Scouts uniform.

"Ay carumba! That syrup squishee can sure make you do weird things..." Bart is horrified that he was so high on sugar he didn't realise he had joined the Boy Scouts.

Meanwhile Barney wakes up on boat in a sailors outfit. "Not again!" he groans.

...

The family soon hears the news that Bart has joined the scouts. They're having dinner, some kind of orange mush, in the kitchen.

"Well if it isn't the wiener patrol!" Homer smirks.

"Homer! The scouts is a good thing. It might straighten Bart out. And Bart they do fun activities too, like campfire songs, eating s'mores..."

"I don't want to be in the scouts though!" Bart sighs. "Homer's right, it's for losers!"

"I think you look cute in the uniform!" Oscar squees.

"Mom! Oscar's being weird..." Bart yells.

...

At School Bart's heading to class when Kearney takes his scout uniform from his backpack.

"Ooooh! Look! Campers pampers!" He waves the uniform about. I wish pampers were part of the uniform...

"Keep,it, I don't want it..." Bart replies. Jimbo stops him.

"You're gonna beg for that uniform or else." Bart gulps and half heartedly engages in a game of keep away with it. Until he eventually gets his uniform back.

...

In class Mrs Krabappel surprises everyone with a pop quiz. "Today we will be doing a pop quiz..." However a boy wearing Boy Scouts uniform interrupts the class to be excused. "Sigh, any Boy Scouts, you're excused to go to your club with Mr Flanders..."

Bart then asks to be excused while putting on his uniform. "I'd like to stay, Mrs K, but this ungh! uniform carries certain responsibilities!"

"Off you go Bart..." Mrs Krabappel sighs excusing him.

"Haw haw!" Nelson laughs.

"Enjoy your test, Nelson..." Bart smirks.

"Haw! Ha?" Nelson is confused.

...

Helloooo alternative to testing!” said Bart heading to Scouts in his Scout uniform.

”You’re funny looking! Hyuck! Hyuck!” The yokel kid said laughing at him.

”Thanks Yokel kid... much appreciated....” said Bart sighing.

Bart arrives at the classroom where scouts is being held. "It's either this or back to class to do a boring test..." Bart goes in to find Ned Flanders and some Boy Scouts around Jasper who's in a bathtub.

"You're just in time Bart! We're giving the old folks a sponge bath!" Ned explains.

"Be sure to clean all the nooks and crannies!" Jasper explains.

Bart screams and runs off but his neckachief gets caught in the door and he knocks himself out. Sometime later he regains consciousness as a boy is giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Bart throws the boy off and retches in disgust and spits.

"Should I keep doing it?" The fat, buck toothed boy asks.

...

Later they're talking about making bait to attract wild life. Bart gets bored and goes to leave when something interests him.

"Ok everyone, get out your pocket knives." Ned asks. Everyone has Swiss Army knives.

"Cool! You guys get to play with knives?! Cool! A spork!" Bart takes a boy's knife.

"Don't hurt me!" The boy cowers. However Ned confiscates the knife from Bart.

"Uh uh! I'm sorry Bart that's a no no. You're not allowed a knife until you read this book." Ned explains as he returns the boy his knife and gives Bart a child's book called Don't do what Don't Donny does. It has pictures.

...

At home Bart's reading the book. Unfortunately all the things Donny is doing look fun.

"This is boring..." Bart groans. He goes outside for a walk. During the walk he encounters people finding a use for knives.

Martin can't open his box of chocolates so Jimbo helps him with his switchblade.

"Huzzah! Now we can share the chocolates!" However Kerne takes them and pushes him in the mud.

"Share this." Kerne says as he shoves Martin.

Next Bart finds Dr Hibbert attending to a man lying in the street writhing in pain.

"Good lord! This man's appendix is about to explode! Fortunately I brought my scalpel." Dr Hibbert cuts out his swollen appendix and throws it across town. The appendix strangely explodes violently.

"Thank you Doctor..." The man gasps.

"Don't thank me, thank the knife!" says Dr Hibbert.

Bart then passes Moe's just in time to see him throw out Hans Moleman.

"When I tell ya to use a coaster you use one!" Moe brandishes a knife.

"You call that a knife? This is a knife!" Hans Moleman pulls out an oversized Bowie Knife from his cane. However it's too heavy and he falls over.

"Aww, everybody's enjoying knives..." Bart sighs.

Oscar is doing the four finger fillet thing where you jab a knife aiming for gaps between your fingers and thumb, getting faster and faster until you stab your self.

As the weeks go on, Bart starts to pay attention in scouts and actually work hard. He read his Donny Don't book from cover to cover and earned Ned's trust that he was sensible enough to handle a knife. But it’s a rubber knife.

...

At home Bart and Lisa are watching Itchy and Scratchy. Itchy turns Scratchy into a tent.

Bart comments the cartoon was unrealistic because Itchy used the wrong knot on Scratchy's tongue.

"Bart, cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic..." Lisa explained as another Homer walked past the front window while Homer was actually sitting down on the couch behind them.

...

Later there is a montage of Bart pranking Homer with booby traps to earn his hunting badge. He baits a leg noose trap with pie in the kitchen. Homer is caught and Santa's little helper eats the floor pie. Later he digs a pit in the drive somehow and Homer falls down it.

"Mmmm, blueberry..." says Homer from the hole. There is then a montage of Bart earning his badges. It ends with Bart in his room sewing his badges to his uniform.

...

One afternoon, Bart was lying on his bed reading his scouts books in full uniform. Homer comes in and teases him.

"Well if it isn't isn't the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons!"

"Homer! Stop picking on him!" Marge yells.

"Fine..." once Marge is out of ear shot he starts singing a stupid song. "Bookhead likes his booky wook!"

"Homer!" Marge yells.

"Just tucking him in!" Homer replies.

"Dad, it's three in the afternoon..." Bart says rolling his eyes.

...

At Scouts, Ned explains they're going on a week away at camp. They're expected to bring their fathers with them.

Bart imagines Homer at his scouts vacation.

“I’m Bart’s Dad!” said Homer drunk with a newspaper hat on his head as he sails in a life boat and splashes posh kids and their fathers.

“Well I never!”

“How rude!”

After the day dream Bart shivers in disgust and embarrassment.

However a boy cries because his father is in prison. Ned partners him up with the celebrity dad, Ernest Borgnine.

"Ay carumba! Mermaid Man!" Bart is pleased to see one of his favourite celebrities.

"Um yes, I'm Mermaid Man..." Ernest Borgnine replies.

At home, Bart realises he'll be the odd one out if he doesn't ask Homer to come with him, despite that he doesn't want Homer there. Bart reluctantly asks Homer to come with him to camp, Homer inadvertently agrees by being reluctant back. They both D'oh!

Plot 2

Meanwhile after Bart explained to Milhouse he accidentally joined Junior campers.

”Well I got a dirty word shaved into the back of my head.” said Milhouse. Oscar gasped and clapped his hands over his mouth in shock when he saw it.

”Good Lord! Young man, I’m gonna shave you bald so you’ll learn hair isn’t a right! It’s a privilege!” said Skinner dragging Milhouse off somewhere.

”Uh sir, you not legally allowed to give us hair cuts... and you just made Bobobo bo bo bo, angry...” said Oscar.

”Fist of the Nose hair! Snot for you!” said Mr Bobobo kicking Skinner’s ass with help from Don Patch and the Jelly Jiggler.

Bart winced.

At Boy Scouts/Junior campers, Bart learned how to make traps. He hmmmmmed intrigued.

Homer went into the kitchen and saw a slice of pie on the floor. “Oooooooh! Floor pie!” But he was caught in a leg noose and yanked off of his feet and dangled upside down out of reach of the pie. He moaned trying to grab it. Then Santa’s little helper ate the slice of pie with red berries inside. Homer cried.

Then he went out to get in his car but fell down a concealed pit Bart dug in the drive. “D’oh! Mmmmmmmmmm! Apple...” he found a splice of apple pie down there.

...

Homer wanted steak for dinner.

”I’m going out to buy us some dinner.” said Marge.

”Steak?” Homer asked.

”Hmmmmm... I don’t think our money can stretch far enough for steak...” said Marge.

”Steak?” Homer asked.

”Hmmmmm... fine...” said Marge.

Meanwhile during the Broadway musical sugar rush from the all syrup Squishee.

”Hey! Don’t bogart that Squishee!” Milhouse whined as Barney Frank some Squishee.

Suddenly Humphrey Bogart and some bogarts attacked. The bogarts turned into Sideshow Bobs because a bogart is a formless creature that takes the form of your worst fear.

”Nyaaaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” Bart screamed.

”Riddikulus!” Harry casted the bogart defeating charm that turns a bogart into something silly. The bogarts fled embarrassed.

”I could thump some shlub! I’m a man’s man!” said Humphrey Bogart.

Feminists beat the crap out of him with protest signs.

...

During an activity Bart is laughing with Ned over a funny joke.

“I have no son!” Homer yelled as he rowed past them in a small wooden boat for some reason.

Ernst Borgnine introduces himself to all the scouts.

”Now you lads probably know me as Sgt Fatso from Here to Eternity.” said Ernest Borgnine.

”No sir. We only know you as Mermaid man from Spongebob Squarepants.” said a scout.

Ernest face palmed.

”No Oz! No flipping Spongebob!!” Bart whined.

It soon got hot.

Bart and Homer scratched themselves frantically as gnats bit them.

Ralph ran around with a beehive on his head chased by angry bees and then a cartoon bear with a big wet shiny black nose chased after him hungry for some honey.

Oscar was running about in just a diaper.

At a sit around lecture and guidance from Scoutmaster Ned, Bart was reading a big book.

”Egghead likes his bookywook! Doo dah! Doo dah!” Homer sung obnoxiously.

Egghead from Chill Manor on the Phillips CDi winced.

The dads and their sons partner up. Unfortunately Homer and Bart are left with Ned and his sons Rod and Todd. Also the only dinghy left sinks because it has holes in it.

Somehow getting a fresh dinghy they sail off down the river.

However they come to a fork in the river and the water is rough. Needing to think fast, Ned sails down the wrong way and gets separated from everyone.

"Where did the fat guy and the sissy go?" Asks Ernest.

...

Because of Homer being stubborn and throwing away the oars, they drift out to sea. Ned goes crazy so Homer slaps him until he stops going Diddly.

They then see a seagull.

"We're saved! Seagulls only go out to sea to die!" said Ned. The seagull then plunges out of the sky squawking its last squawk before falling dead into the water. Ned sighs.

Then dolphins appear squeaking.

"Look! Dolphins!" said Ned. "They're always friendly to people!"

"Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed at the dolphins because of his Asperger's syndrome.

"Oscar..." Bart sighed.

The dolphins giggled evilly. "You're all gonna die!" They say in dolphin squeaks and whistles before swimming away as scary music plays.

Oscar wrote "Shhh! Spoilers!" On a piece of card.

Homer then listens to Rod's Walkman and sings and dances to Sugar sugar, and daydreams he's on a beach with anthromorphic lollipops and ice creams until the Walkman runs out of battery power and the dream melts. Annoyed at having to face reality again, Homer throws the Walkman in the sea.

”Hey! I got that for my birthday!” Rod whined.

Soon they run out of drinking water because Homer washed his socks with it.

"Wrong again Flanders! Didn't you hear the phrase 'Water, water everywhere so let's have a drink?'" Homer is being stubborn again and drinks from the ocean.

"Dad no!" Bart and the Flanderses try to pull him away but they're electrocuted by Oscar's joy buzzer again.

"Oscar! Gimme that!" Bart tries to confiscate his joy buzzer but gets zapped in the process while Homer fights off the Flanderses and drinks from the sea until he's very sick.

“Ooooh! I don’t feel so good... Blaaaaargh!” Homer groaned before vomiting into the sea.

“That’s because you drank your weight in sea water...” said Bart.

Soon they're hungry. However there's only a few rations which Homer promptly eats.

"Dad stop!" Everyone jumps on him again only to get zapped again by Oscar.

"When will you learn..." Oscar asks rhetorically while sighing.

"Oscar get outta here..." Bart groans.

...

Oscar warped home because Bart was fed up with him zapping everyone. Because of his interference. Homer was extremely ill from drinking salt water and they were starving because he ate all the rations.

They try to fish with the last bit off food that Homer didn't eat. However the fish grabbing it breaks the line and swims away.

"He'll be back..." several hours later... "Here fishy fishy..." Homer groans.

At home Oscar revealed he was a scout in Ned’s Junior campers. But Kearney snatched his cute campers uniform.

”Oh look! Campers pampers...” said Kearney.

”That’s funny you said that Kearn. Because I am negotiating with Ned for Pampers to be part of the uniform.” said Oscar showing that he was wearing a diaper instead of underwear.

”Aaaaaaaw! That’s cute!” said Dolph.

”I want to raise him to be evil!” said Kearney picking up baby Oscar. Oscar winced.

...

Meanwhile Ernest and the rest of camp encounter a grizzly bear.

”Hold on boys, I’ll just get my trusty pocket... oh nuts.” Ernest thought he had his pocket knife but Homer took it to give to Bart.

The bear roared but stopped and sniffed, then he sniffed a Boy Scout’s hat. The boy shivered frightened. His hat was a lovely hat, quite expensive too, possibly. The bear decided that such a nice hat probably tasted good too and snatched the hat and ran off with it.

At home.

“Ma’am I keep telling you your husband and son have to be missing for twenty four hours for me to put out a missing person warrant...” said Wiggum.

Marge sighs.

“Bart and that fat oaf are camping eh?” Patty asked. “Better be careful Marge. It’s cougar season and they don’t mess around...”

“Cougars eh? Oooooh!” said Oscar being silly. He went off somewhere.

Petunia from Futurama walked past the house with Squeaky Voiced Teen. “Mmmmmm! Momma like!” said Petunia.

“Not that kind of cougar!” Marge yelled at Oscar.

...

The Simpsons and the Flanderses are in a dire situation. They make peace with each other.

"Why didn't we take the right fork..." Ned groans.

Meanwhile Ernest and the others having escaped the bear, are now sailing through a swamp at night while scary rednecks/hillbillies from the deliverance are spying on them from the shadows...

...

Just as hope seems lost, Bart and Homer smell burgers. Homer's map is a map for Krusty burger restaurants and there's one on an oil rig nearby.

They quickly sail to it.

"I knew building a Krusty burger on an oil rig was a stupid idea... Shut this place down!" Krusty laments building a Krusty burger somewhere stupid where there's no customers.

However Homer bursts in through the doors. "Give me one hundred Krusty burgers!" He demands.

"Coming right up sir! Would you like fries with that?" The squeaky voiced teen asks.

Soon the burgers arrive. Homer greedily starts eating them.

"Dad, you saved us!" Bart hugs him.

"Can't hug, eating." Homer replies as he eats a burger. Bart takes a burger and eats it.

"Hey! Buy your own!" Homer groans while eating.

...

After dinner.

"I wonder how the others are doing?" Bart ponders.

Meanwhile Ernest and the others have found an abandoned camp and set up a fire. They begin singing Bingo. A song that Oscar really hates.

Suddenly a heavily breathing being is spying on them from the bushes. Suddenly he jumps out at Ernest and murders him.

The end

Trivia

• Oscar annoys with his joy buzzer again. The last time he used it was in Homer Goes to College and Back again, Natura-diddly.

• The mysterious being that attacks Ernest Borgnine and the campers was probably Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th.