Blinky Bart catches a three eyed fish and a newspaper reporter makes a headline article about it. The news alerts the nuclear inspectors to check the plant before fining Mr Burns for pollution. Angry, Mr Burns campaigns for the role of governer so he can dictate inspections.
- Dan Castellana as Homer Simpson
- Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson
- Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson
- Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson
- Hank Azaria
- Harry Shearer
- Tress MacNeille
- Phil Hartman
- Eileen Stevens as Oscar Tamaki
The chalkboard gag is “I will not Xerox my butt,”
One Saturday, Bart and Lisa are playing in the Springfield forest. Bart decides to do a spot of fishing. A newspaper reporter comes by doing an article on human interests.
“So, caught anything yet kids?”
“No sir.” said Lisa
“Who the hell are you?” Bart asked the newspaper journalist rudely.
“Well I’m Dave Shutton a newspaper journalist.” said the newspaper journalist.
“Well Dave. Do you always go up to little kids asking them questions out of the blue?” Bart asked him rudely.
“Just ignore my brother. We’re fishing Mr Shutton. Of course my brother is using worms as bait. I believe in patience and tranquility so I’m using nothing.” said Lisa.
Bart rolled his eyes and put a wriggly squirmy worm on his fishing hook.
At the Simpsons house Oscar is playing a video game.
“What about you boy?” Homer asked him.
“Outdoors is a waist of time. I’d rather simulate fishing by going to the Lake Hyrule fishing pond as Link...” said Oscar playing Ocarina of time. There is footage of Ocarina of Time with Young Link fishing at the fishing spot.
At the river.
“What’s your name sonny?” Dave Shutton asked him.
“What’s it to you?!” Bart asked rudely.
“Sonny. In my day we didn’t speak to our elders like that.” said Dave Shutton annoyed with Bart’s behaviour.
“Well I’m my day, we do!” Bart retorted.
“Bart don’t push it!” Lisa said cross with him.
Bart gets a bite and reels in a fish, “Yay! We eat tonight!” but it has three eyes.
Dave counts the eyes and is horrified it has an extra eye. “Wait a minute! One, Two, three?!”
“Coooool! A mutant!” said Bart.
Dave Shutton was so horrified by the mutant fish he decided it was headline news and called some journalists in his car about it.
However they had a juicier story.
“Wow that is interesting! We’ll have them both on the front page!” said Dave Shutton as he drove back to the office.
The three eyed fish becomes headline news and Bart sticks the headlines in his scrap book. Alongside yesterday’s headlines of Squirrel Found That Resembles Lincoln. There is an Abraham Lincoln squirrel!!
“D’oh! I really wish he wouldn’t cut out the headlines!” Homer groaned reading the morning newspaper with the headlines on the front clearly cut out.
More newspaper headlines assault our screens viewers to really ham in how important this mutant fish story is.
Bart takes the fish home. Marge is disgusted by it, but agrees to try to cook it.
“I think we should call it Blinky.” said Homer.
”Nah we should call it Clyde. Because Clyde is orange.” said Oscar.
Homer looked at Oscar as if he had three heads.
At breakfast the next day, Bart’s fish is all over the news. Mary Bailey vows to get to the bottom of it.
“Well it’s about time Mary Bailey did something about those hideous, genetic mutants!” said Marge.
“I think they’re cute!” said Oscar.
Bart rolls his eyes.
Homer thinks he can do a better job at governing than Mary Bailey. Such as giving Lincoln and George Washington separate holidays.
“Homer you’re gonna be late...” said Marge.
“Someone will punch in for me...” said Homer going to work.
“Don’t spill anything Dad!” said Lisa.
“Keep them mutants coming Homer!” said Bart.
“I’ll mutant you!” Homer grumbled as he left.
“Cooooool! Please do Dad!” said Bart imagining himself as a mutant.
“Only plain cake donuts?! Oh thanks for taking the fancies guys!” Homer whined. “Why can’t I get here on time...”
“Ahoy hoy faceless employees!” said Mr Burns.
“Now the government is doing an inspection so just keep quiet and do your jobs!” said Mr Burns snapping at his workers.
“A truly riveting speech sir.” said Smithers.
“Smithers hold me.” said Mr Burns. Yes he says that. I don’t know the context of how he said it but I’m letting my imagination run away with it...
“With pleasure sir...” said Smithers aroused.
“Eeeew!” Homer groaned.
“Gentlemen! Geiger counters on!” said Mr Burns being held romantically by Smithers.
“Sir we’re detecting a copy of Alien 3 in the common room!” said a worker in the Plant common/break room.
“You idiot! I said Geiger counters! Not Giger counters!” Mr Burns yelled.
“Mmmmmm! Alien...” Homer sighed and drooled.
At school Bart is arguing with Oscar over how to spell potato. Oscar insists it is potato. Bart insists it is potatoe.
"Oh lets call the whole thing off!" Milhouse sang. Nelson threw a book at him. "Ow!"
”Only when in plural Bart... when you say two potatoes...” said Oscar.
Eventually Mrs Krabappel gives him lines after school on the chalkboard. He is writing “It’s potato, not potatoe.”
"See?" Oscar said smugly.
Going about the plant.
“Gum being used to seal crack in cooling tower.” said the inspector.
“This shouldn’t be!” Mr Burns gasped.
“Plutonium rod being used as a paper weight.” said the inspector.
“Good heavens!” Mr Burns gasped.
They are then wading through a corridor of radioactive glowing ooze.
”That’s always like that!” Mr Burns argued.
In his office.
Mr Burns was in big trouble with the inspector over his safety violations.
“And I found an employee asleep in a radiation suit!” The inspector scolded Mr Burns.
“Look Smithers! Some fool left this thousands of dollars here! Let’s leave the inspector and the money alone and hopefully the money and the inspector will be gone!” said Mr Burns.
Several minutes later.
“Smithers! The money and the stupid fool are still here!” said. Mr Burns angry.
“Mr Burns! Are you trying to bribe me?” The inspector was cross with Mr Burns for attempting to bribe him.
“What is your confusion?! Take it you poor fool! Take it!” Mr Burns tried to give him money.
“Mr Burns!” The inspector yelled.
“Very well. Smithers it’s time our guest dropped out...” Mr Burns activated the trap door and the inspector fell to his doom!
“You won’t get away with this Mr Burns!” He screamed as he fell.
Mr Burns gets the idea to run for governor. If he was governor he’d be able to dictate safety inspections. In canon he speaks to Homer and gets the idea from him, but I fail to see their relationship as boss and employee as anything other than Get back to work Mr Squidward!
“It’s only season two Narrator. Mr Burns has his erm moments he’s willing to talk to me...” said Homer.
Fine... Mr Burns finds Homer working late, which is just odd! He’s gonna miss the couch gag!
“I’m making up for being late! Jackass!” Homer said to the narrator.
“Working late Simpson?” Mr Burns sassed wearily. Homer screamed. “We’re a dying breed...” he praises Homer in an exhausted tone, weary from the scolding he received earlier from a Nuclear Safety Inspector.
Meanwhile the Abraham Lincoln squirrel ended the squirrel civil war and abolished slavery of the grey squirrels.
”That was just nutty...” said Oscar at dinner.
Hugo clonked his fish heads bucket on the table demanding more fish heads.
"Stop that! Or it's off to the attic with you!" Homer snarled.
"You get an F minus—in parenting!" Oscar snapped at Homer.
Homer cried and fled. "I'm a good father! I'm a good father!" However Oscar noticed he had no trousers on! (Pants if you're American.)
"Marge, are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?" Oscar winced.
Marge sighed embarrassed.
At the Simpsons they debate this news over breakfast. They have bowls of porridge.
”I don’t see how you can support that awful man Homer!” Marge said annoyed.
“Mary Bailey won't fire me if I don't vote for her.” said Homer.
“I'm for Burns!” said Hans Moleman drinking tea.
“Yes Mr Moleman. I agree.” said Homer kissing him on the head, “You lot should try. It’s like kissing a peanut!”
“A political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy!” said Lisa intrigued.
”Oh good. Because you can die like a Kennedy!” said Oscar pointing a black hand gun at Lisa.
”Oscar!” Marge scolded him.
“I don't see how that despicable man has a chance against Mary Bailey our state's most beloved governor.” Marge muttered.
Homer grumbled annoyed. “Well if he doesn’t win my job’s on the line!”
”Oh put a sock in it Homer! Your boss is spoilt. Yes that’s right. He acts like a child having a tantrum every time he doesn’t get his own way!” Marge snapped.
At school. Fourth grade. Mrs Krabappel's class.
Mrs Krabappel had something to announce.
"I have a surprise for you, children, a surprise test! Hahahaha!"
Everyone except Martin groaned. Martin looked pleased and eager.
"Oh joy! I can use my Minnie Mouse stationery! No wait! Stop that author! Just stop it!" said Martin before yelling at the fourth wall.
"But you have the same voice actress as Minnie Mouse... Russi Taylor..." said a disembodied voice.
Later Mrs Krabappel and Principal Skinner were kissing. They were in love, duh. When suddenly the classroom door they were hiding behind opened.
"Aaaaaaah!" They screamed.
Bart winced. Okay I really didn't want to catch my teacher and principal kissing.... He groaned to himself in internal monologue.
At third grade gym.
"Clownja can you hold my hockey stick?" Oscar asked Clownja.
"No hands!" Clownja tried to explain he had no hands being a clown headed jack in a box thing.
"Clownja I need to go to the bathroom hold my hockey stick..." said Oscar.
"Dude, I don't have any hands!" Clownja explained.
"Oh..." said Oscar. "Didn't I teach you the monster ability to generate floating disembodied white glove hands?"
"No!" said Clownja. Then he made Ripper Roo sounds.
Mr Burns calls in his advisors to help him campaign for governor. They explain he is currently unpopular with the people in stark contrast with Mary Bailey, the incumbent governor. And that if he's to succeed, he'll need to change his image to be more friendly and approachable.
Mr Burns Glowered.
“Oh and I suppose we can tarnish Ms Bailey’s image with some old fashion mudslinging too.” said an advisor.
“Excellent...” said Mr Burns.
Elsewhere Homer ate a donut.
"Mmmmmmmm! Donut..." He moaned with joy.
Later Mr Burns calls in his mudslingers.
"Have you found any dirt on Mary Bailey?" Mr Burns asked them.
"We went through her trash. Um some rabid cartoon clown things bit us and we need rabies shots." said a mudslinger.
"Talked to her maid. She killed Professor Plum in the billiards room with a lead pipe." said another mudslinger. XD!
"The only dirt we've got is from a guy who dated her at 16." said a mudslinger.
"And?" asked Mr Burns.
"He felt her up." said the mudslinger.
"Not good enough!" said Mr Burns.
Bart and Nelson were about to fight as they were sparring and surrounded by other kids cheering.
"What's going on?" Oscar asked.
"Bart and Nelson are fighting again..." Ace sighed.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!"
"This would be better with poison nunchucks..." said Oscar.
Ace, a blond vampire boy in third grade, winced at him. Baffled by his nonsense.
Bart was holding his own against Nelson compared to last time in Bart the General where he kept getting pummelled. Oscar gave him a sack of dust/sand to blind Nelson. Then he kicked him in the family jewels (balls). Nelson clutched himself in agony and cried out. Bart then struck while he was in pain and struck him square on the nose. Nelson cried out as he was bleeding from his nose.
Kids gasped. Yellow and Black Weasel angrily egged Nelson on to fight.
"I think cheese is better than cake, because you can have cheesecake, but you can't have cakecheese!" said Oscar in the crowd.
Ace grimaced exasperated in him.
Mr Burns does an interview with "Charles Darwin" (Actually an actor) who explains the three eyed fish is the result of evolution and not a horrible mutation. Mr Burns's team are also working a smear campaign against Bailey.
Marge doesn't approve of Mr Burns because she likes Bailey as a sensible candidate.
"Yeah, Mr Burns is only running so he can pollute the environment as much as he likes!" Lisa whines.
"Lisa!" Homer yells.
“Homer! Don’t stifle her! Our daughter is entitled to her opinion!” said Marge sharply. “And I happen to agree with her!”
“Thanks Mom!” said Lisa smiling.
“Dooooooooo’ooooooh!” Homer groaned agitated. “Now you lot listen here. That is my boss you’re talking about! He pays my salary that puts food on our table and pays for the house! So a little respect would be most welcome!” Homer snapped.
Marge sighed and couldn’t be bothered to argue with him.
The news was on.
“This just in. The Lincoln squirrel has just been assassinated!” said Kent. Oscar gasped. “We’ll go into this shocking turn of events after these headlines...”
“Nooooooo!” Oscar screamed and cried over the Lincoln squirrel.
“Oh lord...” Marge sighed.
“I bet he was shot by John Wilkes Bunny! Ha! Ahahahahaha!” Bart snickered and laughed at his stupid pun.
“Shut up boy...” Homer sighed.
The Simpsons are in the kitchen again.
"Is your boss Governor yet..." Bart said bored.
"No..." said Homer.
"Is your boss Governor yet..."
"No..." said Homer.
"Is your boss Governor yet..."
"No!" Homer snapped.
Eventually Mr Burns and Bailey are neck and neck in the polls. Mr Burns's is suggested by his team to have dinner at an employee's house to drum up support. Mr Burns picks out Homer from the surveillance cameras.
Meanwhile the Simpsons are rehearsing for a musical they're doing. However Bart screws up the song by singing "Like Atilla the Hun!" instead of the actual words which angers Homer so he strangles him.
"Oh lord..." Marge sighs in embarrassment at Homer strangling Bart.
They debated Bailey and Burns again.
”Homer I’m a Bailey Booster!” Marge debated with Homer over dinner.
”Well I’m a Burns Booster!” said Homer.
”And I’m a vaccine booster!” said Oscar having had a booster shot in his arm as he had a bandaid.
”Reeeeeeeee!” An Anti vaxxer Karen or Kyle if they’re a dude, screamed angrily and threw a tantrum.
”Quiet boy!” Homer snapped.
Marge gasped because Hugo cane in.
Homer screamed. “What the blazes?!”
”My TV died. Because I broked it because I was mad.” said Hugo in broken English.
”Well tough! I’m not getting you another one! Now go back to the attic!” Homer yelled.
”But I’m a prisoner here! TV is my only entertainment! At least let me outside in the yard!” Hugo whined.
”No! Bad mutant! Upstairs now!” Homer snapped.
Bart and Lisa winced.
That evening Mr Burns and his goons pay the Simpsons a visit.
“Okay people listen! Oz get your finger outta there!” He fussed about his family giving them strict instructions because he was kowtowing to his evil boss.
“Look alive, people!” He barked instructing his family. “Lisa be quiet! Marge cook something delicious for Mr Burns! Bart! Behave! Oz-What the hell?” Hugo was out of the attic staring up at Homer. “If my boss sees you, I'm finished!”
The doorbell rings.
“That's him. Up in your attic. Move!” Homer yelled pushing Hugo up the stairs. Hugo went upstairs.
Homer screams when he finds Mr Burns and his goons at the front door.
“Well Mr Burns! You’ve met the wife!” Hom introduces everyone.
“Charmed!” Mr Burns says politely taking Marge’s hand.
Marge went Hmmmmmmmmm! Because she doesn’t like Mr Burns.
“And these are my lovely children!” said Homer. “Maggie, Lisa...”
“Oh little Lisa is growing up! Like a weed!” said Mr Burns rudely.
Lisa glared at him.
“And this must be little er Brat.” Mr Burns called Bart Brat.
“Bart sir.” Bart corrected him, frowning.
“Quiet Brat!” Homer snarled at Bart.
“Oh don’t stifle the children Simpson.” said Mr Burns trying to be friendly. “Now who is this spirited little fellow?” He asks about Oscar.
“Oscar, sir. I’m er their lodger.” said Oscar.
“To be honest he doesn’t do much lodging sir!” said Homer to Mr Burns.
“Hi there!” said a voice as a child’s hand stuck out the air vent and waved at Mr Burns. The voice sounded like Bart’s but with a stuffy head cold.
“Get out of there!” Homer yelled at the air vent.
Mr Burns was confused.
In the living room.
The animals attack Mr Burns. Santa's little Helper knocks him over.
"No! Bad dog! Bad Sant's Little Helper!" Homer scolded the dog as he helped Mr Burns up.
"Oh don't be so harsh on him Hubert. I love dogs!" said Mr Burns. He actually hates dogs. "Oh a kitty."
Snowball II screeched and hissed at him.
"You have a thing for animals sir?" Homer asked.
"Why yes I- oh look! Fish! Just like that three eyed rapscallion that is causing me embarrassment..." Mr Burns stared at the fish tank. The fish hid in their castle.
"Oh Hubert, how rude of me. Your family knows nothing about me. Well children. I am your Daddy's employer." said Mr Burns.
"We know..." said Bart and Lisa.
"Well this is my assistant Smithers. And this. Is his cousin Black Smithers." Black Smithers was there...
Mr Burns explains to them he is campaigning against Mary Bailey for governor. (Much to Marge and Lisa's concern as they are fans of Bailey) And he obviously hints that if tonight's dinner doesn't go well for him he will fire Homer. Homer concerned for his job, returns to his bullying persona and growls at his family to behave.
"Oh great here's jerkwad Homer from the Tracey Ullman shorts..." Oscar sighs.
"I'll teach you to break the fourth wall! Raaaaagh!" Homer strangles Oscar.
"Homer!" Marge snapped.
During dinner Homer makes the family pray, something they haven't done since There's No Disgrace Like Home.
Mr Burns thinks this is a brilliant idea. A good Christian, Middle class family would improve his image greatly and joins in.
They pray before first course. Devilled eggs.
"Demon eggs!!" Oscar is being demented.
Homer growls at him.
"Now everyone shut up and say grace." said Homer.
However Bart plays up during prayer and gets scolded by Homer.
"Now nobody eat until we finish praying!" Homer scolds everyone.
"Okay. Rubber dub dub! Thanks for the grub! Amen!" Bart does a silly prayer and everyone starts eating like pigs.
During another course the family talk about the campaign. Homer is quick to praise Mr Burns out of fear for his job, whereas Marge and Lisa protest that Bailey is a good governor and very popular.
Homer scolds them again. "Enough of that loud mouth liberal! Mr Burns sir, please, go on..."
"Oh Simpson your brown nosing is amusing..." Mr Burns smiled.
They are then given questions to ask Mr Burns. Lisa is uncomfortable with the idea of helping Mr Burns and Bart starts asking embarrassing questions and gets strangled.
"Hey! We're in a democracy here. Can I get a chance to speak please?" Hugo popping out of the air vent asked.
"No!" Homer snapped.
"Kids, please leave. I don't want you to see this." Marge sighed.
"What? Dad kissing up to his evil boss?" Lisa asked frowning at Dad.
Homer growled at her.
Main course arrives. Marge has cooked and served Bart's three eyed fish he caught recently. Mr Burns reluctantly tries some of the fish, but spits it out in disgust. This is recording by journalists.
Later Mr Burns's campaign is in tatters and Bailey wins the election.
"You cannot do this to me! I am Charles Montgomery Burns!" Mr Burns screams as the journalists leave in droves.
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
Mr Burns is furious with the Simpsons. However instead of firing Homer he tries to smash up their piano. Failing to do that he declares Homer will never amount to anything.
“Simpson! You’ll never amount to anything you bottom sucking leech!” Mr Burns snapped.
“Mr Simpson your family cost me the election!” Mr Burns continues his tirade. “I ought to have you slack jawed troglodytes killed!” The Simpsons gasped. “But then I’d be the one going to jail!” He tried to remain calm.
“Simpson! I shall make sure personally that all you dreams remain unfulfilled! I will take everything from you that you hold dear! Unfulfilled!!” Mr Burns yelled before storming out.
The next day Homer goes to Karl's apartment. He's in there at his new job as a make up artist. He also does hair and rather extravagant make overs. I.e. People wanting to disguise themselves as others.
"Homer, I'm rather busy with a client. I can't help you today." said Karl. Inside was Robin Williams. Homer screamed and ran off.
At lunch, which was some orange mash Homer was whining about Mr Burns' scolding him that night for costing him the election.
"Oh Homie! Don't worry. You'll do lots of great stuff! You were an executive at work once! Remember?" Marge explained.
"Yeah..." Homer cheered up.
Suddenly they had a visitor at the door.
There was a nice old lady.
"Hello dears. I'm Mrs Doubtfire and I was wondering if you needed a nanny?" said the old lady.
"Wait Marge! This is no old lady! You're an imposter! And that's just a wig! Gimme that!" Homer tried to pull her hair off.
"Oh!" The woman cried.
"Hmmmmm! Homer are you going to do that to every old lady who visits us..." Marge sighed.
"No..." Homer replied. But when another old lady appeared he chased after her.
Marge face palmed.
They eventually got a babysitter to come in without Homer being ridiculous and trying to pull off her wig or assuming her hair was a wig.
“I do not change diapers worn by older kids too lazy to potty train and I don’t kiss boo boos.” said the babysitter.
”That’s it! She’s outta here!” Oscar snapped.
Bart was in the toilet sick from the fish last night.
"There was something not right with that fish... (vomits)" Bart groans.
"Maybe because it was swimming radioactive sludge?" Lisa commented as she walked past.
"There was nothing wrong with Mr Burns' fish!" Homer told them off.
"So why did he spit it out then..." Bart asked.
"Don't get smart with me! Mr Burns is coming round again tonight! So behave!" Homer yelled.
“Squirrels don’t get married, Oz...” Lisa sighed.
“Like you could possibly know that.“ Oscar replied. Um Oz thinks some weird things...
“Why are fish so smart? Give up? ‘Cause they swim in schools.“ Ace, Oscar’s vampire friend told a bad joke. The vampire boy was in third grade. He had blond hair and wore a cartoon helicopter beanie hat.
Oh, ha, ha." Bart scowled back up at the ceiling. "Everyone's a comedian."
“Will you two quit yakking...” said Oscar as he was wearing just a diaper. He was in the middle of zipping himself up into a cutesy green dinosaur sleeper costume.
“What are you wearing...” Bart sighed.
”My Dino Dude costume.” said Oscar putting a big round shiny purple clown nose on his nose.
Oscar squeezed and honked his purple shiny round nose. It squeaked.
”You look ridiculous.” Bart said frowning.
”Shut up.” Oscar snapped.
"Why would Santa choose to live in the north pole when he could live in Vegas?" Bart asked.
Oscar grimaced. “Bart I’m the silly one...”
Homer was wearing a smart evening suit worried and anxious about his boss coming over for dinner again.
”Oh! Kids behave! Lisa no being the voice of reason and an insufferable nature lover! Marge how is that meatloaf coming along?”
”It’s doing fine, Homer, calm down!” said Marge.
Oscar was still in his dinosaur feety costume drawing cartoons. Mostly of Quiffy as a baby being annoyed by cartoon slime monsters trying to slime him.
“No question, man, you are the dude of doodles!" said Ireep. An army cadet friend of his who wears army camouflage pants and a khaki green top. She was on leave from military school.
”Thanks Ree Ree.” Oscar smiled.
Homer barged in. “Oz I’m having a very important dinner within my boss tonight! Your friends should have goon home hours ago!”
Milhouse’s eyebrows got blasted off again or something.
“Where are my eyebrows? I've gotta find my eyebrows!” Milhouse cried.
”Over here Guvnor!” said Bart doing a silly British accent as he had the blue eyebrows attached to his cheeks like sideburns.
”Enough!” Oscar snapped at him.
Eventually Mr Burns arrived for dinner. Well the door rang.
Homer upon seeing Burns was at the door when he answered, decided to scream. “Aaaaaaagh!”
”Ahoy Hoy.” said Mr Burns. That’s his catchphrase along with “Excellent.”
Homer then screamed again. But this time because Hugo was out of the attic.
They had pork chops and corn on the cob.
However Bart and Lisa were fighting by using their empty cobs as swords.
”Eh Guarde!” They crossed swords. Or cobs...
Hugo, who was still out of the attic and somehow permitted at the table for dinner, was mortified and covering his face. “Must you two embarrass me...”
”Says the boy eating rotten fish heads from a bucket...” Lisa snarked.
- This episode introduces Blinky, the three eyed fish.