Simpsons Fanon

Billy Finn Ricky Gervais pays the Simpsons a visit again. This time as a talking dolphin. Hilarity ensues. And Fat Tony returns from the dead! But doesn’t. Matt just forgot he killed of a major character and half heartedly tried to undo their death by replacing them with a clone or pulling a family guy and nullifying any world development in his cartoon just for the sake of Status Quo....


The title gag is Maggie riding a giant paper plane.

The couch gag is the Simpsons on a couch on the cover of a VHS tape in a video rental store that’s out of business. A wrecking ball smashes it to rubble. Then a slutty underdressed Miley Cyrus starts singing “I came in like a wrecking baaaaaallll!”

“No! No! No!” Oscar bludgeons her to death with his guitar. “And put some clothes on! Your dad must be embarrassed!” Uh you killed her Oz...


The episode starts with Homer, Bart and Lisa waiting in line at the DMV. Probably to do with Homer’s car tax or something.

“Ooooooooh! This is so boring, we’ve been waiting so long I think my life insurance expired.” said Homer whining.

His kids agreed. The line was boring. “If only there was something for us to do... we don’t need to be waiting in line with Dad...” Lisa sighed.

Bart saw an arcade. It was open and busy with a child’s birthday party going on inside. “Daaaad... there’s an arcade across the street can we-“ Bart asked but...

“Keep my place, kids!” said Homer. He was in the arcade playing a game where you shoot butterflies while eating pizza.

“Dad, no! That’s a kiddy place! And we were invited to that party, not you!” Bart yelled.

“Get back in line!” Honer yelled while eating chocolate cake.

Bart glared at him so he hid under the table eating cake.

“Dad!” Bart yelled more annoyed.

“Don’t worry Bart, the Dads of that birthday Party are kicking him out.” said Oscar.

“Hey get outta here weirdo! This is my son’s ninth birthday party!” A burly Dad yelled.

Homer cried in protest as the dads turfed him out of the arcade. “No!”

“Get out!” said a dad.

“You shouldn’t be here! Now where’s Bart and Lisa? I haven’t seen them since they were this high!” said another dad but he was mostly reminiscing about nostalgia and his friendship with Marge and the kids.

“Holding my place while I pass the time! I’m bored!” Homer whined.

“Grownups live boring lives. Responsibilities are our things! Not our kids!” A dad replied.

Homer tried to argue but Bart and Lisa ran in the arcade.

“Hey! I need you-“ Homer tried to say.

“Dad , get back in line or you’ll lose your place...” said Bart.

Homer growled like he used to in season one before sulking and heading back to the DMV.

Bart and Lisa enjoyed themselves in the arcade playing video games on the machines, party games with an unnamed friend they hadn’t seen in a while, ate party food and Ace tried to eat a carrot cake Bart had bitten into and spat out and mushed his chewed up mouthful of cake back onto again.

“Mmmmmm! Carrot cake! Mmmmhmhmhmhnhm! So moist!” said Ace enjoying a carrot cake and doing an Ok hand gesture. Ewwww!!!

Bart gagged when he saw Ace eat his chewed on cake.

Very soon Homer was at the front of the queue, but Bart and Lisa were determined to make him pay for trying to ruin their fun.

“You dragged us here from a birthday party and I didn’t even get to play spin the bottle!” said Bart.

“So we’re gonna give away your place at the front of the Queue!” Lisa added.

Homer gasped.

“Front of the queue! To the highest bidder!” said Bart auctioning the front place of the queue. His aunts seemed to approve. Plus they needed the time between customers to smoke. Oh wait their boss hates smoking it’s worse than Hitler apparently...

“Twenty dollars!” said Kirk.

“Arrrr! Fifty dollars me laddy...” said Sea Captain.

“I’ll perform at your birthday party. In person, no stunt double!” said Krusty. Bart wasn’t buying it. “And sober!” Krusty added.

“Interesting...” said Bart.

“A new bike!”

“This egg!”

“Fifty dollars!”

“My pants!”

“Eeeeeew! Dude...”

Suddenly Bart heard a Mafia fellow familiar to him who shouldn’t be around anymore...

“A lollipop.” said Fat Tony. Dun! Dun! Dun!

“But! But that’s impossible!!” said Mark Hamill.

“Yeah! That’s impossible! You can’t be here! You’re dead!” Bart gasped reading the Simpsons episode guide.

“Correction child... Fat Tony has as you say, met his maker...” said “Fat Tony”. “I am his near identical cousin Fit Tony.” said Fit Tony. “Of course I have put on weight recently, took up smoking and I’m going grey...”

“It’s true! It’s all my fault! I killed Fat Tony!” Homer cried.

“Wow! You done in Fat Tony?!” Bart gasped.

“Well not quite... he sort of had a heart attack and uh died...” said Homer.

“And now he suddenly has a near identical cousin who has wrecked his diet and now resembles him. Just how many times have you replaced Snowball II already?” said Oscar.

“... for pedantic folks our cat Snowball II is actually Snowball V (5)... the original Snowball II got run over by Dr Hibbert’s Car. III drowned in the fish tank and IV or Conrad leapt to his death from my bedroom window because he disliked my Saxophone playing...” said Lisa.

“And I’m not really Seymour Skinner. I’m Armin Tamzarian apparently.” said Principal Skinner.

“That is not canon in my fanon universe!“ Oscar yelled.

“And I’m either dead or alive...” said Dr Marvin Monroe.

“Uh you’re dead... said Matt.

“Yeah can you stop killing main characters off then replacing them with a clone or their identical cousin or saying Skinner is an impostor and then he’s not...” Oscar sighed.

“Stop criticizing my work! Diaper boy!” Matt yelled.

“Hey at least I make sure my status quo and world evolution and character development makes sense... even if ninety percent of my material is Quiffy wearing a diaper and being sniffed by Teddy or being slimed on by slime monsters or violated by hentai tentacles...” said Oscar.

Can I get my car license renewed...?” Fit Tony sighed.


Meanwhile during this madness Bart and Lisa decided to enjoy the last of their summer break instead of being stuck holding a space in the queue for their dad. They went to the Springfield forest while licking the lollipop Fit Tony gave them.

“My lick!” Slurp!

“My lick!” Slurp!

“My lick!”

“My lick!”

“My lick!”

“My lick!”

“My lick!” Lisa licked Bart’s side of the lollipop.

“Hey! You licked my side!” said Bart.

“Eeeeeugh! Brother germs!” Lisa gagged and drank a mouthful of water from her bottle of water and spat it at Bart. He got some spat water in his mouth.

“Eeeeeugh! Sister spit!” Bart groaned. He licked a tree. Young Link was wondering why he was licking a tree.

Eventually they stopped spitting water and licking trees because Bart smelt something. He came across a patch of conspicuous dirt. No it wasn’t spontaneous quicksand that only liquidates when when you’re aware of it and forms tiny easy to walk around patches. Bart dug through the dirt and found a small black thing and sniffed it in an animalistic manner like his brother Hugo would before deciding it didn’t smell tasty and put it back.

“I’d do the same if I was feeling feral and beastly today, except I’d try to eat it.” said Hugo.

“You could eat it Hugo. This is a truffle!” said Lisa picking up the black object Bart found that turned out to be a truffle.

“A chocolate truffle?” Oscar asked with joy. “Mmmmmmm... chocolate truffles...”

“No... a truffle...” said Lisa.

“You’re a truffle! Whatever that is.” said Bart trying to insult her.

“Bart! What you’ve found is a kind of fungus that grows amongst tree roots. These are worth millions! They’re a very expensive delicacy!” said Lisa.

“Only someone like you could make something dull like tree poop even more boring...” said Bart.

“Eeeeew! Tree poop!” Young Link groaned.

“Bart don’t you see!” Lisa asked as Bart sniffed and found another truffle. “You have a gift for smelling and finding truffles! Most people use highly trained pigs!”

Luigi arrived with Spider Pig! OMG! “Come on numb nose! Sniff me a truffle!”

“OMG! Spider Pig!” Oscar gasped. “And what’s he doing with Luigi?!”

“That was the terms of the deal with Luigi helping me make Angry Dad a success! I had to lend Spider Pig aka Harry Plopper to Luigi as a truffle smelling pig.” said Bart.

“Big deal! I can smell out things like truffles when I wear my Mask of Scents!” said Young Link. He put on the Mask of Scents and sniffed for things. He smelt something awful and reacted to it. “Ugh! Who cut one?!”

“That was me...” said Oscar. He farted basically.

“Ugh! Oz...” Bart groaned.


“Come on my porcine friend! Find me some truffles!” said Luigi to Spider Pig. “I a flew you all the way over from Italy!” Why was he in Italy... “first class!”

“I think I have what you’re looking for!” said Lisa carrying some truffles.

“Holy macaroni! Mamma Mia! But, where is your truffle pig?” Luigi asked.

“You’re looking at ‘im!” said Bart boasting.

“Ha! You’re a pig!” Oscar taunted him rudely.

“A human pig?! Thank a you Lord! For this abomination!” said Luigi.

“Noooo... I’m not some hybrid freak... I just have a great sense of smell...” said Bart rolling his eyes.

Spider pig squealed and lunged at the truffles when he smelt them. But Luigi pulled him away. “No no no! You know the rule! No truffles for truffle pig.”

Spider pig made a sad oink.

“And now I have a new truffle pig, so I have a new use for you in the kitchen!” said Luigi to Spider pig pulling out a sharp knife... aaarrrrgggghhh! No!

We cut to Spider Pig alive and well sharpening the knives on a grinding stone. Um.... okay...

Spider pig squealed and ran with a knife in his mouth.

“Don’t run with knives! Stupid pig!” said Luigi. He paid Bart. “Here is for the truffles! I a pay you for every one you find! And whenever you eat here you get the finest table. Not the one by the toilet!”


Meanwhile Homer spent a very long time getting his car tax or whatever done. Most of that time was spent arguing with Patty and Selma and hurling insults at each other.

“Hey look! It’s Hairy ass Tubman!” said Patty. I like that insult because it annoys Lisa...

“Hey Cinderella, I think I found your ugly step sisters!” Homer replied calling for Cinderella.

“You would have to bathe, to be a pig...” said Selma.

“People dress up as you, for Halloween.” Homer retorted.

“Jabba the Hutt just called, he wants his chins back!” said Patty.

This insult war went on for some time.

“Come on Oz, we’re gonna be waiting here all day... I guess I can get my driver’s license another day...” said Uncle Buck.

They went somewhere. They ended up at a harbour. During the journey Buck questioned how Oscar was in multiple scenes.

“I’m the narrator... I’m omnipresent... I am everywhere at once to tell the story...” said Oscar.

“Hey look! The Springfield boardwalk! Let’s look around!” said a Buck.

Oscar and his uncle looked about the boardwalk. There were men net fishing.

“This net is heavy!” said the black sailor from the crew that were trying to catch a legendary fish called Feio Peixes Grande.

They pull up a dolphin.

“Alas it’s just a dolphin.” said one of the sailors after Feio Peixes Grande.

“Dolpha dolpha!” Oscar squealed and threw his dolphin plush at the sailors.

Buck sighed.

“Oh were you expecting something else?” said the dolphin speaking like Ricky Gervais.

“Yes we were looking for Feios Peixes Grande!” said a black sailor.

“A big fish!” said a sailor.

“No the big fish!” His crew mate corrected him.

“Well as you can see I am a dolphin. We’re not fish, we’re mammals.” said the dolphin. “I’m Finn by the way, Billy Finn. It’s a fish joke! Finn? Fin? Hahahaha! Eh?”

Plot 2[]

“Anyway some humans dumped some Mercedes on the seabed and me and the other dolphins have been mucking about pretending we’re people driving them! Hey the lights green asshole! Move! That sorta thing!” said Billy Finn.

“Yeah we humans are like that.” said Oscar suppressing the urge to continue squealing “Dolpha!” at the talking dolphin. “Doesn’t King Triton get his beard in a knot getting cross with sea creatures that touch us evil land people’s stuff...”

“Probably but who cares? He’s not my king! My ruler is King Snorky.” said Billy.

Oscar gulped loudly.

“Why are you gulping like that? Did you swallow a frog?” Billy asked.

“No. It’s just that King Snorky doesn’t like surface dwellers... he declared war on humans several times.” said Oscar.

“Oh. Well water under the bridge and all that. Here, a token of friendship!” said Billy Finn. The talking Ricky Gervais dolphin gave Oscar a Mercedes hood ornament.

“A Mercedes hood ornament!” said Oscar.

“Well I tried to get you the rest of the Mercedes but, um they’re rather heavy and I’m not a super man dolphin. I’m just a dolphin.

“Can you get another hood ornament so I can wear them as ear rings.” said Oscar.

“Sure!” said Billy. He dived and then shortly afterwards surfaced with a Mercedes hood ornament.

Oscar giggled and wore the hood ornaments as earrings.

Bart chuckled and wore ring binder folders as earrings while singing a nonsense song while swinging his ring binder earrings around.

Homer gasped horrified.

“Chauffeurs don’t do that! Helicopter Homer to the rescue!” Homer acted like a helicopter.


Meanwhile Fit Tony having usurped his Cousin’s place as Fat Tony. Marries Selma in canon. Uh no... Homer’s sorta right. No sane man would be attracted to either of those middle aged, chain smoking spinsters... that’s why Selma’s relationships amounted to, Troy McClure, A fish fondling fruitcake washed up actor. Bart’s arch nemesis Sideshow Bob, a deranged psychopath. Disco Stu... Artie Ziff... Homer’s Dad Abe, causing more nightmarish visions of pink people with five fingers on each hand and no over bites!!

So Oscar went home to the Simpsons.

“I made a new friend...” said Oscar wheeling in Billy Finn in a toy carrying cart full of sea water.

“Hmmmmmm! Not more dolphins...” Marge sighed as she was busy getting some news from Selma about falling in love with Fat Tony. (Fit Tony. Don’t ignore your broken canon...)

“Dolpha!” Oscar squealed.

Bart came in. “Did I hear Oscar’s favourite animal get mentioned again... Oh my god! Look out Mom! The dolphins are invading again!” Bart yelled.

“No no no! Billy’s not like the other dolphins! He’s friendly!” said Oscar.

“Hi! I’m Finn, Billy Finn. It’s a fish joke. Finn? Fin? Hehehehahahaha...” said Billy Finn.

“He’s Voiced by Ricky Gervais.” said Oscar.

Bart face palmed.

“Well um, take him elsewhere. I’m very busy in the kitchen listening to Selma talk about her latest fiancé Fat Tony.” said Marge.

“Fit Tony. Fat Tony is dead...” said Oscar.

“Hmmmm! Whatever. Play outside with Billy.” said Marge.

Oscar was outside in the backyard with Billy Finn the dolphin.

In the kitchen Selma in canon had just had surgery to look thin and attractive. However Homer just mocked Marge’s sisters as usual by saying Patty was before surgery and Selma afterwards.

“Hehehe! Before! After! Before! After!” said Homer.

Suddenly Fit Tony arrived. “Am I missing something?” He asked.

Homer screamed. “Um I was just comparing your beautiful wife to her ugly sister. You’re a very lucky man Fit Tony. Please don’t whack me!” Homer cried.

“All is forgiven. As long as you draw a sketch of Patty.” said Fit Tony.

“Yes sir!” said Homer eagerly.

“A flattering sketch showing her inner beauty...” said Fit Tony.

“Ooooooooh!” Homer whined.

Some time later. Homer has drawn several ugly drawings of Patty. Including one of her as Shrek...

“That was supposed to be Patty as Princess Fiona! Idiot!” Homer said to the fourth wall.

“Princess Fiona is beautiful!” Patty snapped.

“Uh if you watched the movie all the way through like I did you’d learn Fiona was cursed to turn into a fat ugly green ogre at night!” said Homer.

“Well Shrek found her beautiful, so there!” Oscar spat, wheeling Billy Finn indoors.

“Everyone pipe down while I try to draw Patty as Aphrodite it n a clam shell.” said Homer. As soo. As he finished he mad annoyed groans and drew stink lines and flies on Patty and gave her a moustache.

“Oooooh! I’m trying! I’m really trying!” Homer whined.

“Yeah sure you are...” said Oscar.


Meanwhile Bart and Lisa were in a forest area near Cleatus’s house hunting for truffles. The school was also somehow in the background.

“How many did you get this time Bart?” Lisa asked.

“Three. More than I can count.” said Bart cradling something in his T Shirt. Three black truffles.

“Ha! You can’t count!” Oscar laughed and teased him. Bart rolled his eyes.

“Great!” said Lisa. Mmmmm! Brown gold... Tuscan tea...”

“Just think! The things I can do with that moolah!” said Bart. In a cloud was his dream. He dreamt Skinner and Chalmers wondering where they parked their cars as they got exit the school building. We pan out to the school on a chunk of planet as Bart in a rocket laughs evilly and detaches the chunk of planet the school is on and it goes flying into the sun.

In reality, Bart is laughing evilly about his dream.

“Bart I am putting the earnings from these truffles away somewhere safe and you will only earn 0.000001% interest on.” said Lisa.

Bart wolf whistled. “That’s a lot of Zeroes.”

“Bart she’s cheating you out of your earnings! You should get fifty fifty each.” said Hugo.

“No but-“ said Lisa.

“Yeah! I need that moolah! For my diabolical revenge schemes against Skinner! Mwuhahahaha!” said Bart.

“Bart you’re not sicking giant robot ants on the school...” Lisa sighed.

Bart was thinking.

“Or sending Principal Skinner into the sun...” Lisa added.

“Anyway. I’m kinda thirsty. Can we go home now?” Bart asked.

“Three more of these, the you can go home.” said Lisa holding a truffle.

“How big?” Bart asked.

“As big as a baby’s head.” said Lisa.

“Okay.” said Bart.

“That baby’s head...” said Lisa pointing over to Cleatus’s house. He was nursing a baby with a big swollen head.

“That tick bite done swollen up your head Normal head Joe!” said Cleatus to his baby.

Bart sighed and whined. “Oooooooh man!”

In canon we cut to a fancy hotel called the four seasons. Where the cabaret act The Four seasons from the Jersey Boys play every night!

“Sherryyyy... Sherry baby! Sherryyyyy... Sherry baby!”

“Sherryyyyyy... Can you come out tonight?” Sing The Four Seasons.

“No Oz! No!” Bart whines over my silly cameo.

Everyone minus the kids were there to celebrate Selma getting married to Fit Tony. Anyway it was boring apart from Ling Ling making a cameo. She’s still a baby.

So let’s make this wedding more exciting!

“If there is any reason why these two should not lawfully marry speak now or forever hold your peace.” said the Italian vicar.

Homer wanted to object.

“Homer I swear if you do I’ll stuff the bouquet down your throat!” Selma warned angrily.

“I object!” said Oscar. Everyone gasped as he took to the aisle. “For I am dying!” Then he pretended to collapse dead on the aisle.

“Um let’s ignore that...” said Marge.

Everyone agreed just to ignore Oscar’s stupidity.

“I object!” said a baritone voice that sounded like Kelsey Grammar. Everyone gasped and turned round as the evil theme played for Sideshow Bob as he interrupted the wedding.

“Nyaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!” everyone (minus Homer who was scarfing down food) screamed.

“Bob, what the hell are you doing?” Selma asked.

“Ruining your wedding... and trying to murder Bart once again...” said Sideshow Bob.

"Awww..." Homer whined. "Out of oysters already?" He then turned to another buffet and looked up to see the familiar man in the wedding.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!" Homer shrieked. "Sideshow Mel!"

Bob shuttered at Homer's idiocy. "My name is Bob, Sideshow Bob! Robert Underdunk 'Sideshow Bob' Terwilliger, dammit! You are thinking of the dolt who replaced me on Krusty's show!"

"Hey!" Sideshow Mel exclaimed.


Fit Tony sighed and called for his mafia goons Legs and Curly to “Take care” of Sideshow Bob, the mafia meaning. Ie beating him up.


At the after party. Marge was annoyed to find Selma slighted her and her family by giving them bad seats behind a pillar. Comic Book Guy was sat with them.

“Why are you here?” Marge asked him.

“I bought her Ping pong table off of Craig’s List. How do you know the Bride?” Comic Book Guy asked.

“I’m her sister!” Marge yelled.

“Consider yourself slighted!” said Comic Book Guy.

The Simpsons, all of them, including Hugo and Eric, took their seats.

Fit Tony and his wife Selma asked how the Simpsons were doing.

“How did you find your soufflé?” Fit Tony asked.

“We haven’t even got our salads yet!” Lisa snapped.

“Why did you put us here?!” Marge yelled.

“Because someone’s husband has a habit of embarrassing himself!” said Selma.

“He’s on his best behavior! Which is a miracle considering he’s mad about a game...” said Marge.

Homer was muttering about a football game or something he had been watching that day.

Marge and Selma bickered. Even through photos.

“Then don’t even bother coming to Tomorrow’s brunch!” Selma snapped.

“We’re doing the Brunch!” Marge yelled. It’s a bit difficult not going to an event that’s at your own house.

In the photos Marge stormed off, took back a wedding gift and took her family to Krusty Burger for dinner.

“Krusty burger... real classy...” said Oscar drinking his Krusty Kola.


The next day. Brunch presumably.

“I have never been so snubbed at one of Selma’s weddings!” said Marge stirring her morning coffee and in a mood.

“What about when she married Sideshow Bob?” Oscar asked.

“Selma was fine at that one. And what of it? We weren’t to know Sideshow Bob was a maniac then!” said Marge.

The door rang. Homer answered it to find Fit Tony. Who he kept calling Fat Tony...

“Aaaaaagh! Fat Tony! (He’s Fit Tony!) Are you gonna chop off my head, and leave it in a manger at Christmas and then an old Italian nun finds it and goes “nooooooooooo! Oh no no no no! (Homer crying) He’s too beautiful to die!”

“Um no... To make up for the sisterly tiff between our wives I am inviting you and Marge to my summer home.” said Fit Tony.


Meanwhile Bart and Lisa were out hunting truffles but Bart couldn’t find any. “There are none! All I found were these weird mushrooms!” said Bart holding some very long ugly looking mushrooms.

“I’ll take those.” said Otto. He was gonna get high on them and trip really hard.

“Bart mush! Mush!” Lisa demanded.

“No! I am through running around on all fours sniffing things like a truffle pig! You want someone to do that, get Hugo to!” Bart ranted and stormed off home.

“With pleasure!” said Hugo running about on all fours sniffing like a feral child. He found something.

“What is it boy?” Lisa asked following him.

Hugo found a poisonous looking mushroom with a yellow cap and red spots. He was gonna eat it...

“No Hugo!” Lisa pulled him away. “That mushroom looks pretty poisonous!”

Hugo sighed because he wanted it...

Bart came home and smelt truffles. He found Lisa’s safe bank for the truffles. Her wardrobe was full of truffles. Bart decided out of spite to sell them and keep the money for himself to destroy the school or kill Skinner in zany revenge schemes.

Hugo and Lisa found one truffle. Lisa wondered what’s it tasted like and grated some on her vegan pizza. “Vegetarian food is so dull! Pasta, tofu... Soy!” Lisa sighed. “Broccoli is not a good pizza topping!”

“Not unless you want poison pizza like Bart suggested in Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie.” said Oscar.

“Will you stop saying Broccoli is poisonous in our universe!?” Lisa yelled.

Plot 3[]

In the Master bedroom En-suite Homer screamed because Billy Finn the Ricky Gervais dolphin was sat on the toilet. “Why are you here?!”

“Oscar decided this was the best room for me to stay in because I am a dolphin and need water to swim in.” said the dolphin. “Look don’t worry about being naked round me. I’m a dolphin. An animal...”

“Okay but one crack from you and I’m sending you to Japan!” said Homer.

Homer dropped his towel.

“Um okay, don’t wanna ask this but... have you got a penis?” Billy Finn asked.

“Yes!” said Homer offended.

“Oh really? Where, where is it then?” Billy the dolphin asked.

“It’s in there!” Homer replied.

“Oh really? So it’s Mr Snuffleupagus then?” Billy Finn asked.

“To hell with this!” Homer put his dressing gown on and went off somewhere. “Marge! We’re measuring it again! And this time I say where the base is!”

Then Billy annoyed everyone at breakfast.

“Um I don’t think it’s a great idea to have cetaceans at breakfast Oz. Not after that time Moby Dick stayed over...” said Lisa.

Moby Dick was sat at the kitchen table once when Homer came down for breakfast.

“Do you have any Raisin Bran?” Moby Dick asked.

“Um no.” said Homer.

“Can you go out and get some...” Moby Dick groaned.

“Um no... I’m still in my pajamas...” said Homer.

Moby Dick moaned and whined.

“Look we got Total and a box of Sunmaid raisins. If you mixed them together it would be like Raisin Bran...” said Homer.

“Yeah but it wouldn’t be Raisin Bran...” said Moby Dick.

They debated this.

“It’s not really doing it for me...” said Moby Dick.

Homer sighed and face palmed.


Luckily Billy wasn’t that annoying, apart from occasionally cracking fat jokes at Homer.

“Look out! It’s a beached whale! Hehehehehahaha! Oh!” Billy Finn laughed heartily.

What was annoying was Oscar ever so often would squeal “Dolpha! Dolpha!” And slap his dolphin plushie on the table. Or sometimes clobber people with the dolphin plushie. “Dolpha!”

“Oscar please...” Marge sighed.

“So I had some seaweed on my tail when...” Billy was talking.

“Dolpha! Dolpha!” Oscar squealed.

“Oz! Stop it!” Bart whined.