Simpsons Fanon

Bartman vs Dr Colossus. Bartman saves the day again when Dr Colossus attacks... Oscar is obsessed with Poison Ivy from Batman and gives Bartman a plant themed villain who is actually Mrs Krabappel just so he can keep going on about plant monster because of his plant monster fetish and annoys Bartman.


I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?

But at night, I'm Bartman, the cape and cowled crime fighter of Springfield.

Weird, huh?

How'd I get into the crime fighting game? Maybe to many comic books, but the hero bug bit me and I'm lovin' it. Bart narrated over the opening.


Bart is in the Bart cave having saved the day once again and got some cool goodies. Such as a grappling hook. Oscar is studying the time travelling toaster.

"Careful with that, Oscar, Homer got trapped in an alternate universe because of that thing." Bart/Bartman warns.

"I know. The difference is I know the laws of time travel and how to be careful." Oscar replies. "Right now I'm trying to upgrade this doohickey so I can travel freely with it. Right now, from some experience with it yesterday, it only goes to the dinosaur times, well over 65 million years ago, and back again in the time it takes to make toast."

“Well science and gadgets isn’t your strong point Oz. You look stuck...” said Bart as Bartman.

“You’re right. I am... but your genius sister Lisa won’t help me. She said the same thing. That I shouldn’t play around with dangerous devices I don’t understand and... well there’s... no he’s not gonna be a character until season eight... Frink’s on holiday,..” said Oscar.

“Well I hate being the advisor lecturing at you not to do something but you really shouldn’t mess with that thing... especially if you don’t understand engineering and machines.” said Bart.

Suddenly there is a Bart signal from Milhouse's.

"The nerd wonder is calling for me!" Bartman declares.

"Oh, Milhouse called me to ask you to stop calling him that." Oscar mentions.

”Yeah, yeah. This better not be another bank robbery with the visible sound effects from Adam West Batman like Boof! Zorf! Eek! Etc.” Bart sighed.

”Or another Saturday morning cartoon villain with a single quirk like plant control or a condiment obsession...” said Oscar.

Bart sighed as they got in the Bartmobile.

Bartman was driving around springfield looking for crime in the bartmobile. He should have a Bartmobile...

”No author I have my skateboard...” said Bart as Bartman.

They we’re suddenly riding on their skateboards.

”You need a Bartmobile... said Oscar.

”More like a Fartmobile... now zip it...” said Bart.

Oscar giggles. “Fartmobile...”


Bartman arrives at Milhouse's.

"What is it, friend?" Bartman asks.

"Dr Colossus is attacking Springfield!" Milhouse replies.

"Bartman away!" Bartman grapples away.

While Bartman swung about on sky ropes not attached to anything! Cough. He was pondering why was Dr Colossus a villain again?

“I think he just Moonlights as a comic villain...” said Milhouse.

Erik’s fanon seems to be just characters moonlighting as comic villains or Lisa trying to kill Bart.

“Also stop calling me the Nerd Wonder.” Milhouse whined.

”Okay... what is your nickname then....” Bartman sighed.

”House Boy. Or Thrillhouse.” said Milhouse.

”We’ll go with House Boy.” Bart sighed.

”And no Oz! I don’t need another sidekick! Especially not Diaper Boy the crime fighting baby with a diaper rash... and his teddy bear sidekick...” Bartman groaned.

”Your Mom says you have to let me play...” said Oscar as baby Oscar or “Haff ta pway.” In his babyish accent.

Bartman groaned.

”Leave him alone Bart! You’re always making fun of my hobbies!” Milhouse sighed standing up for Oscar.

”That’s because you always watch lame cartoons! Now let’s get going!” Bartman retorted.

”We need a Bartmobile...” Milhouse said exhausted as they headed towards the crime scene. He inhaled from his asthma pump.

”I know I told him that earlier...” said Oscar.

Bartman rolled his eyes.

”Nananana! Bartman! Bartman!” Oscar sang.

”Oz stop singing...” Bartman sighed.


In town.

Dr Colossus laughs evilly as he rides about in his giant shoes that make him very tall. "You're probably wondering why I moonlight as a super villain? I am a very sad, lonely man and this is a hobby of mine..."

Bartman then appears. "Stop, insidious villain!" He throws Bartarangs.

”Ah, Bartman. We meet at last.” said Dr Colossus.

”Actually I’ve had to deal with your shenanigans before...” said Bartman.

”Bah!” Dr Colossus grunted.

They fought and tussled.

"You are no match for my colossus ray, Bartman!" Dr colossus shoots him with a ray that make him gigantic.

"Ay carumba! I'm huge!" Bartman remarks. He tries not move to avoid squashing people. The entire town looks like toys to him.

"Yes, that's what the colossus ray is supposed to do!" Dr Colossus replies.

"Wouldn't it have made more sense to use it on yourself...?" Bartman sighs rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I never thought of that..." Dr Colossus realises before making himself huge with it.

"D'oh! I really need to stop helping bad guys..." Bartman facepalms. They fight in the tiny Springfield. Dr colossus trying to cause as much damage as possible, Bartman trying not damage anything or squash people.

Squish! “Oops! My foot slipped...” said Bartman stepping on someone accidentally.

”And as for you... Uh... are you just a kid in a diaper wearing a security blanket as a cape?” Giant Dr Colossus asked Oscar.

”Um... yes...” said Oscar.

“It’s a long story...” Bart sighed.

Bartman and Dr Colossus grappled. And punched etc.

“Tch! It’ll take more than that to stop me! Bartman!” said Dr Colossus.


However this was just part of Bart's over active imagination. He's jumping on the couch with Oscar in his Bartman costume. While they play with action figures from Bart's Dr Colosuss playset.

(Knocking plastic figures together.)

"Bartman please don't jump about on the sofas..." Marge sighs.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Simpson! Now I must go!... Before your son returns! Who I know is a good boy, and deserves cookies...!" Bartman leaves. Sometime later Bart arrives.

"So um, what happened in here..." Bart notices the mess.

"Oh Bartman was here, you just missed him." Oscar replied.

“He also says you’ve been very good today Bart and deserve a cookie.” said Marge proud of Bart and offering him a cookie.

“Mmmmm!” said Bart eagerly.

Lisa rolled her eyes at Mom being so gullible.

Homer came in carrying two sacks of fertiliser for the garden.

“Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!” said Homer.

”Homer you don’t fertilise the lawn...” Marge sighed.

”You do after Santa’s Little Helper, Teddy, Oscar’s pet teddy bear thing and the thing in the attic use it as a bathroom...” said Homer.

”Homer fertiliser is for boarder plants and crops... and geraniums are very delicate! They only need a tiny amount!” said Marge.

Lisa was annoyed by this distraction.

D’oh! Can’t they see Bartman is just Bart in a tacky Halloween costume?!

”And Homer! Stop eating my fancy bathroom soaps!” Marge nagged.

”But they are so tasty!” Homer whined.

Homer there is something seriously wrong with you...

Lisa sighed.


In the Bartcave Bartman finds Oscar working on the toaster again.

"Still working on that?" Bartman asks.

"Yep but I've got something else done. The endless wardrobe!" Oscar pulls aside a curtain that was hiding a seemingly ordinary wardrobe/closet until he taps a button and the closet's bar works like a conveyor belt going through all of Bart's clothes, including super hero/magical form outfits. Some of them are a spare Bartman cape and mask. Bart's blue t shirt and a spare set of shorts. Wizard Bart's uniform, Sharkboy's fin, goggles, snorkel and flippers. And several other outfits.

“Okay....” said Bartman. “I suppose that’s helpful...”

“For a cave under your treehouse this place is rather roomy. Even the Coon’s basement is smaller than this.” said Oscar.

“Tell me why you are bringing up Eric Cartman’s hackneyed superhero that’s actually a supervillain persona... if you like his basement or raccoon cave so much why don’t you go there....?” Bartman asked not the slightest bit interested in rival super heroes.

“I can’t. He kicked me out...” said Oscar.

“Why?” Bartman asked.

“I kept touching his Rubix cube of doom...” said Oscar.

”Okay...” said Bart.

”Oscar we’ve told you also several times not to touch things in the Bart Cave...” said Milhouse as House Boy.

Oscar sighed.

”Dang it! That Human Fly trying time hog all the attention...” Bartman sighed. The Jerry Lewis Fly themed superhero was in the daily newspaper.

In town a crime is being foiled.

”Helllooooo! Human Fly here!” said the Human Fly.

“I thought we discovered his weakness for sugary snacks...” said Milhouse in the Bart Cave.

The Bart computer alarm went off to tell them something fishy was going on in town.

”Bart computer! Triangulate on that location!” said Bartman.

Something was happening on Elm Street.

”Dr Colossus! Let’s go House Boy.” Bartman left with Milhouse.

Oscar sighed and took a yo-yo from the table in the Center the cave.


One evening Bartman and his sidekick House Boy/Milhouse are swinging through the city on their grappling hooks.

"Looks like we've lost Dr colossus." Bartman sighs. "Time we checked out the Springfield greenhouses. Some costumed villainess obsessed with plants was seen around there according to Oscar."

"I'm sure that's supposed to be a vague Batman reference to one of his villains, Poison Ivy..." House Boy/Milhouse replied.

Bartman rolled his eyes.

Bartman breaks into the greenhouse. It's seemingly empty and dark. The faint moonlight illuminating the dark outlines of tropical plants.

"Hmmm, No ones home..." Bartman says to himself. However the floor suddenly collapses under him. "Yaaaaaaah!" He screams as he falls into the darkness. However just before he is about to be shish kebobbed by razor sharp mutated cacti, a sentient vine quickly ties round him acting as a life saving bungee.

"Phew..." Bartman sighs. However a toothed flower on the vine hisses at him as the vine pulls him out of the pit. He then finds the mysterious costumed villainess is um, Mrs Krabappel in a rather revealing poison Ivy-like costume.

Bartman squinted.

"Uh... Mrs Krabappel?" Bartman asks.

"Um yeah, but you're little friend is paying me me to cosplay as a plant themed villain so try to stay in character..." Mrs Krabappel replies.

"What is your character?" Bartman asks.

"Um, the deadly nightshade...? I control plants?" Mrs Krabappel replies sheepishly.

"Oscar, you really need to stop comparing me to Batman..." Bartman sighs.

Oscar was at home reading Batman comics.

Plot 2[]

"Now you're just a little snack for my giant mutant Venus flytrapa! And no that's not a suggestive joke and no they don't look like something rude..." The Deadly Nightshade explains as Bartman tied up in vines is pulled towards a monster Venus fly trap that's big enough to trap humans. It has sharp teeth and makes alien noises.

(Bart: What are alien noises? Oscar: you know, inhuman screechy sounds.)

The flytrap puts Bartman in its mouth and slowly closes on him.

(Bart: Someone here has a thing for plant monsters...)

(Oscar moans aroused and is having sexual thoughts about vines and plant monsters.)

However Oscar in a superhero costume turns up and jams the flytrap's jaws with a metal bar and cuts Bartman free.

"Curse! You haven't defeated me yet!" says the Deadly Nightshade.

"That's some nice villain dialogue Mrs K." Oscar replies.

"Thanks, kiddo." Two vines grab Oscar and Bartman. They are brought to an even bigger flytrap monster.

Oscar as a baby winced and wet his diaper.

However Bartman cuts himself free and breaks its teeth, then he climbs on the water pipes and dislodges a spotlight. It falls and breaks causing an electrical fire.

"No one told me there would be fire! I'm outta here! And so should you kids." Mrs Krabappel flees.

"Come on let's get out of here..." Oscar says as they make their escape from the burning greenhouse.

Along the way home.

”Also give me that green yo-yo you took from the Bart Cave.” said Bart.

Oscar sighed and gave him the green yo-yo.


At the Simpsons house one afternoon Oscar is watching the Batman animated Series featuring the plant hulks and getting aroused by Poison Ivy's plant monsters. He then has an idea.

"I'm just saying the Poison Ivy episodes would have worked better with one of the younger Robins captured by her plant monsters..." Oscar tried to explain his desires. But Bart wasn't interested.

Milhouse winced.

”You have a thing for Poison Ivy don’t you Oz...”

“No just her weird plant monsters...” said Oscar.

”Ugh... I don’t wanna know...” Milhouse groaned.

Because on the news Dr Colossus was threatening to freeze Spring with a freeze ray from his lair in Death Mountain. Yes that Death Mountain...

“And I am going to be safe and warm here in my lair on Death Mountain! Mwuhahahaha!” said Dr Colossus laughing maniacally. “Stupid Gorons...” he added sighing.

Oscar laughed as Bart sweat dropped at the Zelda reference.

“Hey! No one messes with the Gorons or their home on Death Mountain on my watch!!” said Young Link angrily as he went off to save the day.

Bart face palmed.

Milhouse winced.

“Why in Hyrule did they name it Death Mountain?!” Oscar asked. “That sounds extremely ominous for the home of cute friendly boulder people! Why not call it Rock City or something?!”

“It used to be Ganon’s lair in my first adventure on the NES.” Young Link explains he is all the Links somehow. Even Toon Link probably.

Bartman rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile on Death Mountain, the Gorons chase Dr Colossus out of their mountain caves and all the way down the mountain.

Meanwhile Bartman and Milboy or House Boy swing off on sky ropes to put a stop to his freeze ray.

And Homer found a pretzel and ate it. Gross!

”Oz it’s getting late. Time for bed.” said Marge.

“But I’m not tired...” Oscar whined.

”Come on sweetie. I’ll change your diaper then it’s off to the sleepy train to visit mother goose.” said Marge sweetly.

Oscar complied.


Baby Oscar snuck out that night wearing just a diaper and his security blanket as a cape.

Teddy however tried to stop him by holding onto the back of his diaper waistband. Oscar stretched the diaper as he struggled eventually he got free and the diaper snapped against his butt.

“Owchies!” Baby Oscar whined.

He swung through Springfield on sky ropes from no where. (I always wonder where Bartman's ropes come from.)

Elsewhere Apu was throwing out some pickled eggs.

They were so out of date, because he apparently keeps expired food... that the brine was green and the eggs had grown tentacles and faces.

He sighed about wasted money and poured them in the bin.

The mutant eggs decided to moonlight as the Pokemon Exeggcute.

Baby Oscar arrives at Deadly Nightshade's latest base of operations. There are already mutant plants growing inside.

“Like at a Homebase...” said Oscar.

While he pondered the plant filled greenhouse, Teddy, his living teddy bear creature sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar gurgled and toddled away from him.

Teddy grinned and sniffed his diaper again with his big wet shiny black nose.

”Goo goo!” Oscar gurgled and honked his big wet shiny black nose. It squeaked like a toy.

Oscar sauntered in bold as brass. It wasn't a surprise that he was immediately seized by vines.

Deadly Nightshade wasn't pleased with his intrusion but he had some very strange ideas for plant monsters and even offered to be a guinea pig for her.

Oscar dangled held by a vine.

Edna sighed and the vine released him.

While Deadly Nightshade was creating the mutant plants Oscar toddled about in his diaper until he fell through a week floor. He was caught by vines just before he fell upon some razor sharp cacti.

The vines with hissing flowers on them hauled him out of the pit and towards a Venus flytrap mutant. The Venus flytrap mutant ensnared him with its vines and put him in its mouth before closing its jaws upon him.

Oscar held in the plant's mouth watched until Deadly Nightshade ordered her plants to let him go. It was time for his end of the bargain.

Before Oscar could think of wandering off again a vine lifted him up and dropped him in a pod that was slimy inside as it closed on him.


Bartman arrived investigating babies going missing.

Bart winced. He disliked the idea of rescuing stinky gross babies but he had to, he was a hero after all.

He was caught by vines and Deadly Nightshade explains she's the culprit as part of an experiment suggested by Oscar to create plant hulks from the local infants.

Bart gave Oscar a weird look.

The babies were in pods like Oscar's. They were already altered by the experiment. Suddenly they grew bigger and bigger into plant hulks. Amusingly the plant hulks still had diapers on. Some had messy or wet diapers.

Bartman grimaced and gagged at the stench of diapers.

Oscar managed with some difficulty to escape from his slimy pod and joined Bartman as his sidekick whether he wanted him to or not.

“I’m gonna play with the babies!” He said enthusiastically.

Bart sweat dropped and gave him a concerned look of Why?!

The plant hulks attacked. Some had very sharp claws.

Bartman cut the claws with garden sheers.

Bartman then tussled with the plant hulks.

“Ugh! Lemme go! You diaper wearing goon!” said Bartman to a plant hulk that seized him.

Oscar stood and watched as a baby transformed into a plant hulk. The green muscular monster was amusingly still wearing a diaper. Oscar gulped as it picked him up. He winced as his stomach gurgled and he messed his diaper with a horrid splat.

“Ugh! Oz...” Bart groaned.

He eventually found via activating the sprinklers that the plant hulks were deathly allergic to water for some reason, which made them melt into lifeless green slime.

Oscar rolled about in the slime until it engulfed him and slimed him.

"Ugh!" Bartman groaned.

They went home where Oscar was given a bath regardless of whether he wanted one or not.

Oscar in the bath pouted annoyed as he liked being a slime monster.


The next day Oscar annoyed Bartman by giving him more Batman-wsque villains such as Krusty as the Joker, a drunk Joker... Mayor Quimby's radiation induced super form The MudSlinger as Clayface, Nelson as Heath Ledger's joker...

"Oscar stop comparing me to Batman!" Bartman yelled.

"But I like Batman!" said Oscar. Bartman sighed.

The following night, Bartman and baby Oscar intruded upon a Turkish spa the Deadly nightshade had already filled up with man eating sentient plants.

Bartman has some hero dialogue like “seize your insidious actions you costumed villain!” The Deadly Nightshade pushed him into the water of the Turkish baths which were now infested with under water tendrils of an aquatic plant. The tendrils tried to drown him. Oscar went to fight Deadly Nightshade but vines on the ceiling grabbed him and coiled round him tying him up. He got aroused.

“Oz! (Coughing and spluttering) are you just writing about Poison Ivy’s monstrous plants that you have a weird fetish for...” Bartman tried to say while fighting with the tendrils.

“Maybe...” said Oscar tied up by vines.

Bartman once he somehow got free, subdued Deadly Nightshade and freed Oscar had enough of his fetish for Poison Ivy and went home.

“This makes a great place to play with my teddy bear.” said Oscar. He settled somewhere to play with Teddy. By play I mean Teddy sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar grimaced and let Teddy sniff him.

”Oz! Mmmmmmph!” Lisa as Bart Girl was caught by surprise by a vine that lashed out and quickly wrapped around her neck and head, covering her mouth, gagging her. Lisa clawed at the vines cutting off her breath and silencing her, but had little luck. She felt herself lifted in the air, kicking her legs to struggle.

Young Link got out his boomerang and tossed it at the vine. It sliced straight through it. Lisa was dropped hard on the ground. She pulled off the remains of the vine.

More sentient vines slithered towards them.

”Oh baby!” Oscar moaned aroused.

”Oz...” Young Link groaned.

Lisa winced.


Bartman was flustered as he was called out by Milhouse because of sightings of mutant eggs.

Bartman winced.

They found the mutant eggs outside Lard Lads.

And Vincent Price as Egghead...

”Eggscatly...” said Egghead.

Bartman winced.

The mutant greenish eggs decided they were now the Pokemon Exeggcute. Well a mutant Exeggcute at that...

Bartman found the whole thing silly and went home.

He decided to work on a Bartmobile.

Elsewhere Cartman as the Coon or a raccoon based superhero tried to be a kid super hero but just disrupted and harassed young couples making out in the park at night and eating garbage.

”I’m a raccoon...” said Cartman as the Raccoon.

Then he encountered Bert Raccoon from the Raccoons cartoon.

Cartman winced exasperated.