Simpsons Fanon

Barting Over Bart discovers he used to star in baby mouthwash commercials as a baby. But when Marge mentions he made a lot of money from them and Homer admits he spent all the money, Bart gets angry with Homer and asks to be emancipated.


Lisa wearing lesbian rainbow trouser suspenders was announcing the greatest Americans she deemed great. “Jazz legend Ornette Coleman.” Damn ambiguously gendered name! Is that a man or a woman?! “Playwright Arthur Miller.” And “Me, all round genius, Lisa Simpson.

”We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” people chanted.

“Thank you, Mr Cronkite!” said Lisa in lesbian rainbow suspenders.

”Oh! She knows my name!” said Mr Cronkite.

“Ladies and Gentlemen... Tonight I would like to harangue you with...”

Lisa was woken up one morning from a wonderful dream about the Kennedy Centre, by Marge hoovering.

"Mom, I was having the most wonderful dream... why did you wake me..." Lisa groaned.

"Well here's a sweet dream, it's called spring cleaning! Get dressed and help out sweetie." said Marge. “Look everyone’s helping! Even the dog!”

Amusingly Santa’s Little Helper was scooching across the hall because he had worms, Marge had given him a cloth to sit on so he polished the floor while scooching.

Even more Amusingly Homer was also scooching like a dog. Then Oscar sat on a cloth was scooching from worms too.

”Oz... do you have worms again...?” Lisa sighed.

”Yes...!” Oscar whined as he scooched.

”Take your banana flavoured medicine for intestinal worms...” said Lisa.

The Simpsons are going through the garage when Lisa finds a book on satanic spells and reads from it before deciding it's boring and throws it away. While she was reading an incantation a demonic spirit appears before vanishing because she didn’t finish the spell.

"If that was a Treehouse of Horror episode reference, I don't remember that book being in any of them..." said Oscar.

"Homer you really need to get rid of all these old furbies! They're turning feral!" said Marge.

Some furbies had surrounded Maggie and were growling and hissing.

"Hehehe! Feral furbies!" Oscar laughed.

Bart and Lisa then found a videotape called Mom and Dad get dirty. Bart thinks it's exactly what he thinks it's about and is eager to watch it and runs indoors.

”Hey Lisa... want to see something traumatic...” said Bart holding the tape.

However the videotape is just Homer and Marge cutting up pumpkins for Halloween.

Lisa finds another tape.

"Bart Sad." read the tape.

"When was I sad?" Bart asked.

"Let's find out!" said Lisa.

However the tape was a commercial with Bart as a baby as the title character Baby Stinkbreath. A baby with demonic stinky breath.

Baby Bart laughed.

"Oh my god! You're in a commercial!" said Lisa.

"I didn't know I was in a commercial!" said Bart eating a Butterfinger bar.

The commercial had a happy ending as Bart was given special patches on his face that affected his RNA but left DNA intact to make his breath smell nice.

Baby Bart giggled with a cloud of angelic breath.

”D’aaaaaaawwwwwwwww!” Oscar cooed.

"It must have meant Bart's Ad!" Lisa explained as she put am apostrophe before the S in sad. "Ha! You're baby stinkbreath! You're baby stinkbreath!" Lisa teased him.

”Awwwwwwwwww! He’s cute!” Oscar cooed.

”Oz stop finding things cute!” Bart yelled. “Especially me!”

Marge and Homer came in from the garage.

"Mom! Why did you put me in an embarrassing Baby Stinkbreath commercial?!" Bart whined.

Marge reassured him that he liked being in those adverts and that he made lots of money. However when she mentioned money Homer kept doing la la la noises over the top of her.

"Homer! Stop interrupting!" Marge told Homer off.

"I made money! Cool! Where is it?" Bart asked.

Homer gasped awkwardly.

"Your father put it in a college fund for when you're older. Didn't you Homer?" Marge asked.

Homer was still being awkward.

"Dad... Have you got something to say..." Bart asked suspicious.

"Ah! I admit it! There is no college fund! I spent it all buying back incriminating photographs!" Homer cried. He showed Bart a sequence of photographs wher Homer accidentally dropped Bart from a hotel balcony.

"You monster! How could you!?" Bart yelled.

"Wait! If you put the photos backwards Daddy's a hero!" Homer flicked the photographs backwards so it looked like Bart flew back upwards into his arms.

"You spent my money?! Why you big!" Bart strangled Homer.

"Bart!" Marge yelled.

"Don't worry Marge, his cute little hands are too tiny to-" Bart took off his belt and strangled him with it.

(Homer wheezing) “Ack! Eccccccck! Now he’s got it!”

"Bart! Stop it!" Marge yelled. “The larynx is not a play thing!”

"I've had it! This man disrespects me! And now he spends all my money! I wanna leave!" Bart yelled.

”How'd ya think he treats me?!” Hugo cut in.

”Shut up freak!” Homer snapped.

”No you shut up! Fat ass!” Oscar hissed, glaring at Homer.

"Well tough! You can't leave till you're eighteen and when you're seventeen I'll work you like a dog because I'll know I'll only have you for one more year!" Homer replied.

Bart growled.

"Homer! How could you be so selfish?!" Marge scolded Homer.

"They were blackmailing me!" Homer whined.


In a field under a tree, Bart explains his problem to Milhouse.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone of those commercials." Bart explained.

"I won't, but these things have a habit of coming out." said Milhouse.

"Haw haw! You're Baby Stinkbreath!" Nelson laughed before crashing into a tree. "Oof! It was worth it..."

"How can I get back at Homer?" Bart asked.

"Well, when my mom wants to get back at my dad she sends her lawyers after him!" said Milhouse.

"Does it make him cry?" Bart asked.

"More than usual." said Milhouse.

Kirk Van Houten had circus tickets for Milhouse but kept crying.


Bart went to Luvur and Bertram: Family Attorney. He looked through the cases they did.

"Ah ha! Emancipation!" said Bart. That would in certain circumstances allow him to leave home as a minor.

He went to see the blue haired Lawyer.

"I want to be emancipated." said Bart.

"You whaaaa?!" The blue haired Lawyer gasped.

"I said I want to be emancipated." said Bart.

"Yes I heard you. I was just calling my secretary. Uwa! Fetch me the emancipation papers.


At dinner that night the atmosphere was still frosty. Bart made a sculpture of Homer from his mashed potatoes and stabbed it with a fork violently.

"Ahem, like I always say, let's forgive and forget!" said Marge.

There was someone at the door.

"Subpoena for Homer Simpson." said the blue haired Lawyer.

"I'm not opening the door!" said Homer.

"Not even for a plate of delicious bacon?" said the lawyer.

"Is it crispy?" Homer asked.

"Yes." said the lawyer.

"But not too crispy." Homer asked.

"No." said the lawyer.

Homer answered the door and took the plate of bacon and the subpoena.

Inside everyone read it.

"Emancipated? Hahahah! I thought you liked being a dude!" said Homer to Bart.

"No Dad, emancipated means Bart could legally leave home as a child..." Lisa explained.

"Bart why??" Marge cried.

"Mom, I have nothing against you and Lisa and Maggie. You've always been cool. But I can't live with this thief! I want my money back!" said Bart comforting his mom but then yelling at Homer.

"Ha! Good luck getting a judge to make that call..." Homer snarked.


Unfortunately the judge was Constance Harm.

”Aaaaaaaagh!” Homer screamed.

”Simpsons!!” Judge Constance Harm snapped angry to meet them again.

A ballif gave her the emancipation files. “Emancipation eh... Father squandering son’s wages from Baby Stinkbreath commercials?!”

People laughed.

”Your honour please don’t mention those commercials...” Bart blushed embarrassed.

”This is serious! No laughing!” Judge Constance snapped. “Okay, it’s a little bit funny!” she cracked a smile. “I’m sorry Bartholomew but this is the evidence that your father has robbed you blind! I have to read it to the court!”

”I did not rob him blind!” Homer yelled.

”Silence in court!” Judge Constance Harm snapped banging her gavel.

”Bartholomew. We have developed an antagonistic relationship with each other over you constantly being brought in this court room over your shenanigans, but today I suppose you are the victim of an injustice so I’ll have to set aside my anger towards you constantly thwarting my plans to make you pay for your crimes... So on this doll, show the court where your father took money from you...” said Judge Constance Harm handing him a Bart Simpson doll.

”I wanted to hand him the doll!” Blue haired Lawyer whined.

”Fine! Hand him the doll...” Judge Constance Harm sighed.

”Bart, show the court on the doll where your father took money from you.” said Blue Haired Lawyer.

”Here and here.” said Bart pulling out the doll’s short pockets to show they were penniless.

”Note the doll’s short pockets have been turned out...” said Blue Haired Lawyer. Everyone gasped angrily.

There was some talking and Bart tricked the typewriter lady into typing and reading back. “I am a pathetic moron who types all day... Hey!” The typewriter lady yelled.

Bart laughed.

Then there were eating sounds as Oscar peeled the shorts off of the court doll and ate them.

Bart angrily snatched the doll from him.

At court Homer made things worse for himself by yelling Why you little! at Bart when he testimonied.

"Normally I wouldn't dream of thinking of emancipating a boy so young as you Bart." said the judge.

"Ha! In your face! I'm gonna work you like a dog!" Homer ranted.

"On the other hand." said the judge glaring at Homer. "I can see this child would be no safer at home than a crawdad at a gumbo festival!"

"Mmmmm! Crawdad gumbo...!" Oscar moaned happily while drooling.

"Therefore Bart I will grant your emancipation!" The judge hammered her gavel. "And further more, Homer Simpson! We will garnish your salery to Bart until the amount that belongs to him from his commercials is met!"

“Mmmmmmmmm... Garnish....” Homer moaned and drooled.

”That means we’ll confiscate some of your earnings and give them to Bart to support himself....” said Judge Constance Harm.

"D'oh!" Homer cried. "But that's my beer money!"

"An alcoholic?! I have half the mind to call social services on your ass! But it seems you're already on their books because of little Hugo Simpson!" gasped the judge.

"Why I oughta!" Homer tried to attack the judge.

There was a whack noise and a cutaway of Homer being dragged out of court. Seriously I thought he hit her! Lol!

Plot 2[]

Later that day, the court found an accommodation for Bart to live in paid for by the money Homer owed him plus a fine for assaulting a judge.

Bart was in his room packing his stuff.

”Where will you go Bart?” Lisa asked.

”With the money Dad’s paying me that is rightfully my Baby Stinkbreath wages, (Lisa snickered) Lisa stop... it’s not that funny... I can afford a Lot downtown.” said Bart.

”Um... Do you even know what a lot is?” Lisa asked.

”I assume it has hay...” said Bart.

"Bart please don't go! I'll miss you!" said Lisa.

”No you won’t. You can’t stand me. My immature in your face insults annoy you. Isn’t that right, Buttface?” said Bart smirking.

”Bart... That’s not strictly true. Yes you aggravate me... but I don’t hate you...” said Lisa. “I couldn’t hate my brother.”

”Damn it!” Uncle James Bouvier snapped, stamping his feet annoyed.

Bart smiled and was tearful.

"Don't worry I'll give you something to remember me by." Bart gave her an Indian burn.

"Ow! Native American burn!" Lisa yelped.

”Indian burn...” Bart sighed.

Lisa frowned at him.

"Look at it," Bart asked.

The burn was a heart shape.

"Aaaaaaw! That's so sweet!" said Lisa hugging him.

"If I did it right, that's permanent." said Bart.

A taxi arrived and Bart said goodbye to his mom and sisters before getting in the taxi.

"Please don't go! I'll let you swear in the house! Anything but the big three!" Marge cried.

"Sorry Mom, I can't stay while he's there." Bart said as Homer was hiding behind a curtain. Bart tapped the cab to tell him to drive off.

Homer ran after the taxi crying.

"Noooooo! He's really gone!" Homer cried.


Bart arrived in a shady district and moved into his apartment. As soon as he unpacked he had a visitor.


Oscar hugged him. "Oh I can't believe you're finally a free man! Soooo, what made you leave home?" Oscar asked as Bart pushed him away.

"Ugh! It was Homer." said Bart breaking free of Oscar's hug. "He spent all my money from a commercial I did as a baby."

"Oh." said Oscar.

"Now the judge is making him pay me back every penny..." said Bart.

"Cool! Well, I've got places to be." said Oscar.


Bart got used to his flat. However when he made too much noise a neighbor yelled at him.

"Hey! Pipe down in there! We're trying to take drugs!" said a gruff voice.

Then at night he got scared by shadows. He screamed and ran out of his apartment to go down to the lobby. But the elevator took him up instead.

"Oh no! I'm gonna die in my jammies! Bart cried.

Oscar appeared in a puff of smoke and laughed. "That's cute!"

"Oscar why are you here?" Bart asked.

"No reason..." Oscar replied before vanishing again.

However the elevator opened to big skateboarding party! All the people in the flat were civilised and friendly.

Tony Hawks greeted Bart.

"Wow! Tony Hawks!" Bart was in awe of seeing Tony Hawks.

Tony Hawks invited Bart to the party and made him feel a lot more comfortable and safer now that he knew he had nice neighbours.

Also Blink 182 were playing.

"Coool! If only my Dad could see me now." said Bart.

"Well, I am recording my party on my online blog. So who knows..." said Tony Hawk.

Bart waved up at the camera.

Homer was watching the blog.

"Of all the websites to go on, it had to be his..." Homer groaned while drinking.


The Simpsons tried to cope with life without Bart. Marge accidentally poured orange juice on the table for Bart.

"I keep pouring orange juice for five!" Marge sighed.

Hugo ran in and licked up the orange juice.

"Hehehe! Hugo thinks he's family!" said Homer.

Then Homer tried to play baseball with a Bart dummy.

"It's the day the judge said we can see Bart!" said Lisa reading the calendar.

"Hopefully we can convince Bart that we will treat him better so he'll come home!" said Marge.

"I've already worked to being a better father with this bag of sugar. I like it because it weighs as much as a baby..." said Homer. Suddenly his bag of sugar in a blanket was actually a baby.

The baby giggled and cooed.

Homer was astonished. "Then where's my sugar?!"

Cletus and Brandine ended up with the sugar.

"Baby Sue isn't very playful today!" said Brandine.

"And I don't remember her being so granulated!" said Cletus.

Aunt Dia-Bette arrived. "Can I put some more of your baby in my coffee?"

"Doctor says if you do that they'll have to amputate your foot." said Cletus.


The Simpsons went to Bart's flat. However Marge didn't like the seedy neighborhood. And a druggy bothered them.

”Here’s fifty dollars. Buy a suit and get a job.” said Marge giving the drug addict money.

”Oh I’ll buy a suit alright. A suit of drugs! Gahahahaha!” The drug addict ran off laughing.

Bart then let them in. He showed them all his cool things.

"Which my wages paid for! Aghhhh!" Homer strangled Bart.

"Homer!" Marge scolded Homer for bullying him.

They then had dinner.

At dinner Bart explained Tony Hawk was his new neighbor and had invited him to a skateboarder convention.

"Wow the ultimate convention of skateboarding!" said Lisa.

"And nipple piercings!" said Bart with a belly of piercings.

Marge screamed like Homer.

"Relax... they're just clip ons..." said Bart.

Homer was very unnerved by what happened. "Um, Marge... Let's never speak of this ever again..."

"Uh yeah..." Marge agreed. She had no idea how she screamed like that. "So sweetie. Can you find it in your heart to move back home.

"Sorry, I'd love to, but no can do." said Bart.


Then Bart went to the skateboarding convention thing to watch Tony Hawk skateboard.

Oscar had stuck leaflets in his ears annoyed at the music. They were playing Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones.

"I swear if they play that song one last time!" Oscar groaned.

"What is your problem with that song?" Bart asked.

"It's annoying! I didn't like it on Tony Hawk's pro skater 3, and I don't like it now!" Oscar ranted. "Besides my cousin always got into fights with me when I wanted to play his copy."

Bart rolled his eyes. "Do you actually like any skater boy music?"

"Yeah! Blink 182, Avril Lavigne's SkaterBoi..." said Oscar. "And why is everyone wearing helmets and pads?! Isn't that geeky?!"

"Well, yeah... but the alternative is splitting your head open if you fall off your board during a jump..." Bart replied.

"Ugh! I'd rather look like a total dork in a helmet..." Oscar realised being safe and dorky was better than suffering a horrible injury.

"And Avril Lavigne's SkaterBoi is not skateboarding music! It has to be grunger music." Bart explained


Then Homer appears appeals to Tony for help, he gives him a high tech super skateboard. However Homer shows off to much so Tony challenged him to a Skateboard air duel. They have skateboard air fight, Homer wins, Bart explains it wasn't about Homer being uncool, it was about him mistreating him. Homer is then kicked out of the concert.

Later at home Homer is mistreating Hugo. Hugo was being naughty by eating his napkin at dinner.

"Go to your hole mutant boy..." said Homer.

"My name's Hugo!" Hugo yelled.

"Don't yell at me freak! I never wanted you anyway!" Homer yelled at him.

"That's it! I'm getting emancipated and leaving! I hate you!" Hugo yelled storming off.

"Homer!" Marge scolded Homer. She ran after Hugo upset. "Sweetie no! Don't leave!"

"I'm sorry Mom but Homer treats me worse than he treats Bart! He said he never wanted me! I refuse to call him my dad until he treats me properly!" said Hugo. "I'm sorry but I can't stay here!"

Marge was angry with Homer. "Look what you've done! Both our sons don't want to live here because of you! I have half the mind to leave you, but instead I'm signing you up for parenting classes!"


The following morning Bart got a taxi into Evergreen Terrace to take Hugo to Luvur and Betram family lawyers to get his emancipation.

"Uwa! Get me the emancipation papers." said the blue haired lawyer. As before the Simpsons were upset to receive a subpoena and on Hugo's day in court the lady judge didn't take long to immediately grant his emancipation and demand Homer's salary be garnished to help provide for Hugo.

"Mr Simpson your salary will go to giving Hugo the care he needs! I am outraged I have to deal with you again!" the judge ranted.

The following morning Hugo packed his stuff and said his goodbyes to Marge, Maggie and Lisa. They begged him not to go but he had to and left in a taxi.

"Homer I hate you so much right now!" Marge ranted at Homer.

Meanwhile Hugo moved into Bart's apartment.

"Oh great, we're living together..." Bart sighed.

"Yeah get used to it. And no Dutch oven pranks!" Hugo replied as he unpacked Freckles and Flaps his pigeon rat.

”Fine but no trying to sew us back together.” said Bart.

Hugo hissed at him.

Meanwhile Homer Homer starred in a viagra commercial. He had a full head of fake hair.

”Ooooooh! A full head of hair! Can this vacation get any better, my fake on screen girlfriend?” Homer asked the super model.

She whispered something and all his hair stood up on end.

”Well guys what are you waiting for?! Go buy viagra!” said Homer.

”Hmmmmmmm.... This is what I thought when Homer’s hair stood up...” said Oscar.

The commercial played again but when Homer’s hair sprung up.

”You dare thwart the will of Wat?!” A demonic voice boomed from Homer.

”Uh how does that help us sell viagra?” said the viagra CEO.

”I don’t know! How does that help Homer fix his relationship with his sons?” Oscar retorted.

”Zip zop Boopity bop! Homer you have to fight for your boys! Ah ah ah! Frazzle snazzle!” said Bill Cosby speaking gibberish.

Homer laughed. “You’re hilarious Bill!”

Meanwhile at Bart and Hugo’s apartment.

Bart was on the phone to Milhouse.

”You’re living on your own?! I could do that!” said Milhouse. Not even a few moments later. “Waaaaaaaa! Mommy! I need Puppy Goo Goo!” He cried and Luanne gave him his dog that’s sometimes alive and sometimes a plushie. “Oh Puppy Goo Goo! Dream me a dream...

Bart sweat dropped as he heard everything.

Plot 3[]