Bart to the Future This time Bart sees his future!
Plot[edit | edit source]
The Simpsons (and Oscar) are driving in Marge's car to a camping ground because they're going camping.
"How much further to Lake Flora?" Lisa asked.
"Judging by the bugs getting smooshed against the window we're almost there." Homer replied. Lots of mosquitoes were splattering against the windshield.
"Hmmmmmm! I don't think it was a good idea to go during mosquito season..." Marge sighed.
However the road up ahead was closed and a park ranger was signalling to them.
"I'd turn back folks. The mosquitoes have completely taken over the park!" said the ranger.
"But-" Homer replied.
"Just go before they devour us all!" The park keeper yelled.
“They’ve taken the visitors centre! Oh god they’re eating the comment book!” Another park attendant screamed.
"Ok sheesh!" said Homer. They drove off.
The man was then devoured by mosquitoes stripping him to bare bones.
“Yaaaaaagh! My class ring!” A park attendant screamed as the mosquitoes ate his flesh from his arm. And his class ring it seems,
The Simpsons pass a
Indian Native American casino.
"Oh look! An Indian casino! We can stay there!" Homer declared upon seeing the casino.
"Dad!" Lisa yelled. "They're called Native Americans!"
"Lisa it clearly says Indian!" Homer replied.
"Not on my watch!" Oscar in a blur rushed out of the car, painted over the sign so it said Native American instead of Indian casino, then was back inside and strapped in before anyone noticed.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned. "Fine. You win this round!" He grumbled at Lisa.
They went to the reception to book in.
"Hmmmm! Homer I don't think this is a good idea..l I have a gambling problem! Why last week while we were playing monopoly when I lost I threw whiskey in Maggie's face!" said Marge.
Hugo went to go in. But the staff of the casino stopped him.
“No minors.” said a native Americans working at the Native themed casino.
“But!” said Hugo.
“Now sweetie, we must listen to the rules people set at their establishments.” said Marge. “We’ll just have to go elsewhere.”
“Or you can wait outside while I spin some slots on the fruit machines.” said Homer going inside. “Oh hi Gamblor!” Homer obviously saw Gamblor in there.
“Hi Homer.” said Gamblor.
Suddenly the ghosts of Oscar’s parents arrived.
“Oh shoooot...” Oscar groaned.
“How dare you! We promised our children we’d show them what a casino looks like! Look at their poor faces!” Oscar’s parents yelled as ghosts.
“Uh ma’am. It is illegal to let minors gamble...” said the Native dude.
“I don’t care! It is also highly immoral and sickening to advertise a burlesque show as family friendly! I’d rather take my children in your casino!” Oscar’s Mom yelled.
“Actually I liked the burlesque show... and you’re causing a scene...” said Oscar.
Meanwhile Bart snuck in round the back.
However he encountered Arthur Crandall and Gabbo.
"You guys?!" Bart asked. "I thought your show flopped after Krusty's big comeback special."
Arthur got an intense seething anger at the mention of Krusty but held his nerve. "Yes, quite so, little boy. Now run along now. We're on if fifteen minutes!"
"Yeah, beat it Kid!" Gabbo said rudely.
Bart pulled a face as Arthur and Gabbo went inside. Suddenly he found an air vent. "Ah ha!" Bart pulled off the vent cover and crawled inside. Eventually he dropped into an office.
"Underage gambling here I come!" said Bart with a smirk. He ran off only to bump into a native who worked at the casino.
"What are you doing here?!" The native asked.
"Um I came with my family and ran off to sneak into the casino." said Bart.
"That's crazy talk!" said the native.
"I'm telling the truth!" said Bart.
"I know. I was warning you not to lean on my mummified ancestor Crazy Talk."
Bart realised and stopped leaning on the mummified corpse. "Oops Sorry."
"I am Caesar Pow Wow. I own this casino. And your family are looking for you." said Caesar.
"Aw gee, I guess you better take me back to them." Bart sighed.
"Oh, not to worry. How about we look deep into your future with my mystical fire." asked Caesar.
"Why would I want to do that?" Bart asked.
"Because the fire says terrible things await you Bart Simpson." said the manager.
"How do you know my name?!" Bart asked.
"The fire tells me everything!" said Caesar.
"Cool!" said Bart.
"Now you may ask it a question, once you have thrown in a handful of dust." said Caesar.
Bart threw in on of his fire crackers and it made a small fireworks display.
"Hey cut that out!" said Caesar.
"Sorry..." Bart apologised and threw in some dust. He asked to see his future.
Sometime in the far future. Bart has dropped out of university and is living with Ralph Wiggum as part of a rock duo. However Ralph is fed up with Bart not looking for work and lazing about.
“Bart we have no clean towels!” said future Ralph.
“Use a curtain.” said Bart.
“How about you do some laundry once in a while?!” Ralph frowned.
“How about you do some laundry once in a while. I’m busy working to make ends meet.” said Bart.
“How is that lawsuit against Disney World for your spider bite going?” asked Ralph sarcastically.
“Not good. Although I do have spider related super powers now and my Uncle Ben told me “With great power comes great responsibility.” Shortly before he was gunned down by bank robbers.” said Bart.
“Really?!” Ralph asked.
“No! I was being stupid and referencing stuff! Are you that thick Ralph?!” Bart groaned.
A hologram of Nelson appeared.
“Hey dinguses. You’re welcome to play at my club tonight.” said a holographic Nelson.
The two try to play a gig at Nelson's club which has a laser wall to protect performers on stage from thrown objects from angry crowds. It gets put to use because all the patrons found Bart and Ralph's music awful.
At Home, Ralph explained they needed to find more money.
Bart had an idea. He drove to his old family home.
Inside the Simpsons house Marge and Homer are eating virtual fudge.
“Bleeeugh! This virtual fudge tastes terrible!” said Homer.
“Hmmmmm! Not as good as cyber fudge...” said Marge.
“Would you say it’s packed with fudge...” Hugo asked making a gay joke to trigger his father’s homophobia.
“Shut up boy.” said Homer.
Suddenly the door bell rang.
“Oh!” Marge went up to answer it.
"Moochy moochy!" said Bart holding an empty sack when Homer and Marge answered the door.
“That’s your catchphrase now? Moochy Moochy?” Kid Oscar asked.
“Yes...” Adult Bart sighed.
“That is so lame...” said Oscar.
"No, I'm not giving you anymore money." Homer refused to give him money. "You're always spending it on beer and screwing up!"
"What happened? You used to be cool!" Bart groaned.
"I still am!" Homer retorted.
"No you've changed man!" Bart replied.
“Well I have a robot prostate, but you can’t see it though!” said Homer.
“Are there any drunk robots with metal asses in the future yet?” Oscar asked.
“Oscar language! And no!” Marge told him off for swearing.
“Fine... I’m returning to the present. Or your past...” said Oscar transporting himself with the time toaster.
Bart then went to Flanders. However Flanders was blind now.
"Ok Bart, how much will it be this time?" Ned sighed. He went through his wallet.
"No man, you've got it all wrong!" Bart feigned innocence.
"Bart, are you holding your large money sack?" Ned asked.
Bart sighed. "Yes sir..."
"Now Bart, I can't keep bailing you out!" Ned explained.
"Then help me help myself!" said Bart.
"Look I'll pay you just this once. After all I sort of owe you for not outing Rod and Todd yet." Ned replied.
A gay Rod and Todd in hot pants and vests were cleaning Ned's car and waving.
"Mr Flanders your blinded!" Ralph explained.
"Yes I'm afraid so. Laser eye therapy seemed so promising, but they don't tell you your eyes fall out a year later!" Ned sighed. He paid Bart a small loan that he'd probably not pay back.
Meanwhile Lisa was president of the United States. And the first woman president. She was addressing her cabinet on how to sort out a bankruptcy.
“My first order of business is sort out all the mess left behind by President Trump. Yes viewers Matt just predicted the future.” said Lisa.
“You mean how he brought unemployment Amongst Americans down to zero And introduced the death penalty for illegal immigration so illegal immigration is also now zero,” said a cabinet member.
“Shaddup... he’s evil and destructive and you know it...” Lisa soapboxed. “Secretary of health Van Houten?”
“Our balanced breakfast program is a disaster! It just turned our kids into a new generation of ultra strong super criminals!” said Milhouse.
Somewhere in town there is carnage as incredibly strong hulk like criminals are fighting with the cybernetic Robocops Robo Wiggum and Robo Eddie and Lou.
In the cabinet meeting.
“Hey didn’t I have a hat?!” Helen asked.
“Yes Helen, you did...” said Lisa.
Bart breaks into the meeting and is dragged outside by security and beaten. However he manages to convince Lisa into letting him help with the deficit if in return she legalises pot.
However Bart spends the time lounging around in eye searing Hawaiian shirts and sandals. And playing paddle ball.
"Are you sure Ned didn't just go blind from looking at your shirts..." Oscar sighed.
"Hey! Stop dissing my shirts!" Bart yelled.
Quiffy glared at Oscar. He was wearing one of his tacky Hawaiian shirts.
Eventually with some nagging, Bart saves a crucial board meeting with the UN by stalling for time. In return Lisa legalises pot for him.
“Bart how are you unemployed? Trump made unemployment illegal... and besides with no illegal immigrants as part of Trumps no American unemployed act there are hundreds of empty jobs needing to be filled desperately.” said President Lisa.
“Lisa, I dropped out of Devrly. Who in their right mind would employ me even if they can’t illegally employ a Mexican or refugee with better grades anymore...” said Bart.
“Our country is pretty screwed where they let Cleatus be a Doctor and not a genius from Pakistan just because he came here illegally...” Lisa sighed.
Cleatus seriously messed up delicate surgery on a patient and killed them! “Hey look! I pulled out his love organ! Oh... he dead...” said Cleatus.
“Eh... at least he’s one of us and not a filthy foreigner...” said the consultants/shift managers.
Meanwhile Future Homer and Future Marge are on a treasure hunt looking for Lincoln's gold. They are digging up the Whitehouse lawn until they find something.
However in the chest was a note from Abraham Lincoln explaining the gold was a metaphor for the love in the hearts of every American. Marge thinks it's sweet, but Homer is angry there was no gold.
Later he time travels back to when Abraham Lincoln was alive and beats him up for not burying any treasure and instead burying a stupid note.
“Stupid Lincoln and stupid metaphors!” Homer yelled. ...
Bart is then annoying Lisa at the Whitehouse by interrupting cabinet meetings to promote his band and throwing frisbees at her. Eventually she has him kicked out.
Bart then rings his parent to live and mooch off of them. However they say no. They then get a video postcard from Maggie's daughter on holiday at the beach. A dying polar bear drags itself towards her. Apparently based on the address the post card came from. The North Pole is now a pleasant sunny holiday resort! With daily temperatures in the late twenties of centigrade!
“Stupid animals, getting in the way of mankind...” said Homer.
“Anyway I’m getting dinner. Want anything in particular?” Marge asked.
“Soylent Green.” said Homer.
“Isn’t that made of people?!” Marge asked offended.
“Here we go again...” Homer sighed.
“Mmmmmm... people...” Oscar drooled.
Bart then goes to his brother's laboratory. Hugo laughs evilly and lets him in. It is revealed the laboratory was once Frink's. However now he is just a head in a jar, it was sold to the highest bidder. That being Hugo.
However it soon dawns upon Bart that Hugo is only letting him stay to try to sow themselves together again. Bart packs his stuff and leaves.
He then shoots him self with a laser gun. However it's not a laser gun but an amnesia gun for erasing embarrassing memories.
Lisa is having problems with angry UN members who want their money. Bart breaks into the meeting and saves the day by fobbing the members off that they will get paid.
They believe him and go home.
"Wow thanks Bart!" said Lisa hugging him. "But how can I ever repay you?"
"Legalise it." said Bart. He meant pot...
"Bart... I'm a democrat but even I think legalising pot is going too-"
Bart rolled his eyes and was whispering something embarrassing to one of Lisa's aides.
"Okay! I'll legalise it! Sheesh!" Lisa yelled.
Sometime after pot was legalised Adult Bart was smoking a joint.
"I had no idea you were a pot head..." Oscar sighed.
Back in the present.
Bart is disappointed in his future.
"Well, see ya Chief." said Bart.
Bart soon ran into Lisa.
"Bart where have you been? Come on we have have to go! Dad picked a fight with the blackjack dealer and Mom has got addicted to gambling again!" Lisa explained dragging him along. "Oh, and Gamblor is back, again..." she sighed.
"Well, I saw my future." Bart declared.
"Wow! What did you see?" Lisa asked.
"I had my own rock band!" Bart said joyfully.
"And what about me?" Lisa asked.
"Dunno, some government job." Bart replied.