Bart gets Expelled is the second episode in my Fanon. Bart's tattoo gets him expelled from school. Oscar drives everyone insane.
- Dan Castellana as Homer Simpson
- Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson
- Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson
- Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson
- Hank Azaria
- Harry Shearer
- Tress MacNeille
- Phil Hartman
- Eileen Stevens as Oscar Tamaki
The chalkboard gag is “I will not skateboard in the school halls.”
It's the start of spring term. Bart waits on the bus until Lisa has got off to show Otto his tattoo.
“Hey Otto, got any new tattoos?” asked Bart.
“Well funny you should ask little dude. I woke up with this one this morning.” Otto shows a tattoo on his stomach.
“Cooool!” Bart cooed. “Well I got this one over Christmas. And it’s not a temp. It’s a permy...” Bart showed off his Mother Tattoo.
Otto smirks saying Bart could have gotten a cooler one than that. (The mother heart tattoo.) Bart blushes and agrees it's pretty tacky.
“Whoaaaa! Pretty naughty dude!” said Otto.
“I know that’s why I don’t want anyone else knowing. Not even my snitch of a sister Lisa.” said Bart.
“You could have got a cooler one than that Dude... that ones lame... no offence“ said Otto.
“Yeah I suppose I could have... I got this for my mom, then I realised she wouldn’t like it.” said Bart. “Well see ya.”
At home Oscar was enforcing his logical age he’d and myself would be when Simpson season one first aired. I was one! And a bit...
As such he was a one year old baby lying on the changing table having his diaper changed by Marge. He peed on her playing fireman. Marge gasped disgusted as he peed on her green dress.
”I guess that’s why baby boys are a handful...” she sighed as she wiped Oscar’s butt.
Oscar frowned bored as he lied there as Marge taped up his diaper tightly.
Next door at the Flanderses, they are watching The Brady Bunch. Ned is his own boss and opens his pharmacy when he decides. Rod and Todd are home schooled or go to a Christian academy or something.
“Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket.” Man Brady tattled on Greg to her parents.
“Greg, were you smoking cigarettes?” the dad asked.
”No, Dad.” said Greg.
“He's lying. There's no doubt about that.” said Dad. “Greg, I'm afraid your punishment will be four hours in the snakepit. That'll give you time to think about what you did.” He opened a trap door with snakes hissing about in the chamber below.
“Man!“ Greg whined and jumped in the snake pit.
”That'll teach him.” Jan snarked.
”Jan, I'm afraid you've earned a day in the fire chamber... for tattling on your brother.” said Dad opening a concealed door to a room that was perpetually on fire.
”Smoking. How does a boy like that go so wrong?“ Maude Flanders sighed.
“They live in a crum-diddly um neighborhood.” said Ned.
”The Bradys?“ Maude asked.
”Yeah. They got robbers, thugs, drug dealers. You name it.” said Ned.
“You folks want some pancakes?” Aunt Jemima at the front window asked them.
“No, thanks.“ said Ned. “See, that's the worst we got is Jemima's Witnesses.“
In class Bart is caught showing off his tattoo and sent to Principal Skinner. He's then expelled for having a tattoo.
At home Marge and Homer are furious with him.
Homer is shouting at him his stealing rant from Marge be not proud but instead it’s about getting a tattoo.
“Who gave you that tattoo?” Homer demanded.
“I’ll never tell.” said Bart.
“Then you are so grounded! Go to your room!” Homer yelled angrily.
“Grounded grounded grounded! For all infinity time five zillion.” Oscar was watching Goanimate cartoons on his Mypad that shouldn’t even exist yet as the technology wasn’t available yet back then. The cartoons had stilted ugly animation and terrible dialogue such as reoccurring jokes of Caliou being grounded by his parents for odd things, or Arthur from Arthur being grounded or Mickey Mouse of all fictional characters.
Another thing was how they would always say Grounded Grounded grounded! In a tantrum stomping their feet but speaking in Microsoft Sam monotone. And handing out ridiculous punishments and lengths of groundings such as all of infinity.
“Oz stop watching that crap!” Homer groaned.
”Homer language!” said Marge.
”Cwap cwap cawap!” said Oscar. Marge gasped.
However because they have already spent all the Christmas savings on their luxury Christmas holiday they can't afford to have it removed. Bart is grounded and sent to his room again.
And when they scrimped together some cash to visit the tattoo removing laser Guy Oscar destroyed his very expensive Bond villain style laser with a bazooka.
“Oscar!” Homer yelled.
“My equipment! That costed millions of dollars!” The man screamed.
Now the Simpsons had a million dollar fine.
“Thanks a lot Oz.” Homer said grumpy and annoyed.
During the week Marge tries to find Bart a new school. These include a strict Christian school,
In class the teacher asked him to suggest a hymn to sing.
“Beans, beans the magical fruit?” Bart asked.
“Well, beans are considered one of God’s fruits he gave us...” said the teacher.
“Beans, beans the magical fruit! The more you eat, the more you toot!” Bart sung the rude song.
which he immediately gets chased out of by the angry teacher and students for singing "Beans, beans the magical fruit."
"Cover your eyes children! He might start mooning again!" said the angry teacher. They all shook their fists as Marge drove off with Bart.
And a military school, and a remedial school for those with learning difficulties.
“Mom they’re drawing letters on circular pieces of paper and aren’t allowed to use scissors. I’m surrounded by arsonists and kids with mittens attached to their coats...” said Bart.
Meanwhile Oscar was smooshing mustard sachets under the piano while singing Jingle bells. “Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle bells!”
“Oscar! What the lord do you think you’re doing?!” Homer yelled at him.
“Nothing...” said Oscar.
“That’s it! You’re grounded! Go to your room!” Homer yelled.
“Grounded grounded grounded for all infinity times a zillion?” Oscar asked.
“No! Stop quoting that crap! Now go to your room!” Homer yelled.
“You can’t ground me. You’re not my dad!” Oscar argued.
Oscar’s behaviour got worse.
Oscar was drinking a soda while watching cartoons with Lisa.
“Oscar! Did you put out the rubbish like I told you to?” Homer yelled.
“Indeed I did.” said Oscar.
In the kitchen Homer found the rubbish bags torn open and spilt everywhere. Goats were eating the rubbish and bleating.
Homer yelled “D’oh!”
Then to make things worse for Poor Homer he is fired from work for some reason.
”You’re fired! Mr Burns yelled.
”D’oh!” Homer groaned.
To make ends meet he applies for welfare money but unlike in Family Guy he is not chased up for it.
”So he games the system and breaks the economy... great, invisible author. Just great...” Lisa sighed.
Then Oscar that late afternoon was running around the house loudly and rambunctiously with pots and pans, one on his head and clapping two pot lids, followed by Hugo ho was running about on all fours like a dog.
Homer growled and grabbed Hugo before his siblings could see him and dragged him upstairs.
At home Bart boasts that no school will take him so he'll have to stay at home. Homer is adamant he will get a teacher somehow. The next morning while Bart is lounging around watching cartoons. Marge explains she will be his tutor (as in Whacking Day). However her attempts fail with her guest speaker, Grampa Simpson and her sports lessons, basketball resulting in Bart hurting his nose. The blue haired lawyer then puts a stop to this by explaining Marge is not a licensed tutor. Marge gives up and lets Bart ruin his education lying about all day.
Homer is still determined to make sure Bart gets and education and demands the school takes him back, but they refuse unless the tattoo is removed. Homer tries several methods to remove it but Bart eludes him when he tries to give him a peroxide bath to scrub off the tattoo.
Then Bart fed Oscar, who was one again, several fizzy drinks. Baby Oscar ran around hyper. At one point while Lisa had friends round Oscar ran through the lounge naked with Homer chasing him trying to put his diaper back on him.
Lisa sweat dropped.
Eventually the stress is too much for Homer. So Marge orders them both to settle their differences. Bart won't remove his tattoo and Homer strangles him. Marge decides the family needs to see a psychiatrist, Dr Marvin Monroe.
Bart and Homer get to hijinks such as removing the foam from the clubs and hitting Dr Martin’s shins, zapping each other in the electroshock therapy etc. Eventually Dr Marvin Monroe has enough and sends them home with double their money back.
Homer is elated they have enough money to buy surgery to remove Bart's tattoo but he runs off with Homer chasing after him while Marge and Lisa sigh and walk off home.
Bart ran past the bus stop where waiting were; himself as an adult, Sherri and Terry’s grandma, a sleazy clown and two Italian gangsters Bart made up with silly gross names like halitosis Harry and unpleasant armpit odour Arnie. Bart took the bus stop sign away so the bus wouldn’t stop and the odd people had to chase it.
“Grrrrrr! Get back here you little!” Homer yelled.
Eventually Homer got home exhausted. “He’ll have to come home sometime...” said Homer.
But Bart didn’t. And drove his family to stress. Marge was losing her hair and Lisa took up hitting pots and pans ever so often.
“Lisa! Stop that racket!” Homer yelled.
The Simpsons are in the lounge debating where Bart’s behaviour went wrong.
“Obviously we don’t hit him enough.” said Homer.
Oscar came in and pushed a lamp over deliberately. It smashed.
“Oscar!” Homer yelled.
“Oops.” said Oscar knowing he was in trouble.
“Why you little!” Homer yelled.
“Homer!” Marge yelled as a Oscar ran to her for protection. “It was obviously an accident! He didn’t mean to do that?”
“Yes he did!” Homer yelled.
“How could he? His doctor said when we adopted him that he has a few labelled syndromes and quirks! We just have to make allowances for him!” Marge explained.
“He can’t keep breaking stuff!” Homer yelled.
When Bart did come home. Homer lost it with him and strangled him.
“Homer stop! You’re traumatising Oscar!” Marge yelled. Oscar shook like a leaf.
“I want you to calm down and find an activity to do with the boys.” Marge explained.
“Fine. Kids get your butts outside we’re playing soccer in the yard.
But Oscar annoyed Homer by grabbing the soccer ball with black pentagons on it and squealing. “Haaaaaaauuuuuwwww! Spotty!” He screamed with joy from his autism.
Homer growled frustrated.
“Oz gimme the ball.” Bart sighed.
“No! My spotty!” Oscar whined.
“Oz! Give it!” Bart yelled.
“Bart! Don’t yell at him!” Marge yelled.
“But Mom he has my ball! And his screaming at it.” Bart sighed.
“Hmmmm... I guess we can’t keep soccer balls in the house...” said Marge.
“No it’s just ones with pentagons on them that trigger my autism.” said Oscar.
Bart was in the lounge with a bandage on his arm. Lisa and Maggie kept poking his arm.
“Ow! Quit it!”
“Ow! Quit it!”
“Ow! Quit it!”
“Ow! Quit it!”
“Okay enough of that gag! Bart’s tattoo is here to stay. No arguments!” said Oscar magicking off his bandage and returning his mother tattoo.
“Now pipe down. The Hurricanes are on.” Oscar was watching a cartoon about soccer. The cartoon used soccer balls with black pentagons on them.
Oscar started screaming “Haaaaauuuuw! Spotty!” at the TV.
“Mom! Make him stop!” Bart whined.
“No! He can’t help it!” Marge explained.
“Look if my behaviour is that annoying you can always send me to live with my wolf cub friends Kyle and Caiden.” said Oscar.
Oscar went to live with cartoon anthropomorphic grey wolves with big shiny black noses. Baby Oscar was annoying Kyle by honking and squeezing his big wet shiny black nose when he sniffed his diaper.
“Ow! Quit it!” Kyle the cartoon wolf cub whined.
Caiden shat his diaper again with a horrid splat as it quickly filled up with poop.
“Eeeeeew! Mom! Caiden needs a diaper change!” Kyle groaned.
“He’s three and he still wears diapers?” Bart asked.
“He’s a little slow...” said Kyle.
Then Oscar misbehaved for Kyle and Caiden’s parents so they spanked him on his butt.
Marge was alarmed by this and took Oscar back home. He would not be living here.
“Well aside from the spankings I like honking Kyle’s big wet shiny black nose or getting stuck in Caiden’s boogers! Eeeeeugh! Wolf snot!” said Oscar.
Caiden grimaced in disgust.
Then to the Simpsons chagrin Oscar took to drawing on the walls with a red crayon.
“Oz, draw on paper not an our walls...” said Lisa.
Then while Homer was taking stuff out of the attic Oscar followed him up and found Hugo chained up. He felt sorry for Hugo and used a lock pick to unlock his manacles. Hugo then escaped. Homer seeing Hugo disappear downstairs screamed.
Then Oscar ran around banging pots and pans, giving Bart’s toys to Hugo to see what happens. To Bart’s dismay the feral kid ripped them to pieces.
Then Oscar flicked the dining room lights on and off rapidly at dinner.
“The lights are not a toy!!” Homer snapped.
“Homer! Show some patience!” Marge snapped back.
“Mom we have been more than patient! Oscar is just really, really annoying...” Bart groaned as Hugo had somehow sewn him and himself together at the torso.
“Well congratulations Bart! You’ve got no education and no future prospects! And no one is gonna employee someone with armfuls of tattoos! I hope you’re happy!” Marge said coldly to Bart after he got separated from Hugo and Hugo was sent back to the attic to wait for season eight.
“I got one tattoo mom...” said Bart. “One measly tattoo...”
”Don’t talk to your mother like that!” Homer snapped.
Oscar feeling irritable was trying to undo the sticky tapes on his diaper. “Pwoopy...”
”No Oz, if you’re messy, Mom will change you.” said Lisa taping his diaper up tightly again.
Oscar irritated and getting a diaper rash went into the lounge where Teddy, his living teddy bear creature pounced on him and smooshed his wet slimy nose into his face. Oscar gurgled. Teddy then sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar winced and got slightly aroused. Teddy gagged and took off his messy diaper to change him.
Meanwhile Marge was worried about Bart’s future. “He could end up a drifter or even a male stripper!”
“A wallpaper stripper?!” Homer gasped.
”No.... a stripper...” Marge explained.
Bart winced. He liked the idea of being ran out of town and hitch hiking but he couldn’t see himself as stripping himself naked for money.
”This is all because of your Tramp stamp!” Homer yelled at Bart.
Elsewhere Lisa was watching Happy Little Elves while Oscar ran about with out his diaper on. “Mom! Oscar won’t keep his diaper on...”
Oscar sighed and put his diaper back on and taped it up. He aged up. “I don’t care that I’m supposed to one. It’s impossible to write scenes of me as a baby without it it devolving into me doing weird stuff with my Teddy.” said Oscar. “I propose alternate scenarios like that time Bart was run over by Principal Skinner instead of Mr Burns.
Bart outside on the streets was run over by Skinner’s car he probably rents off of his mother or pays instalments on.
Bart yelled as he went flying.
”Ye gods! No! I’ve ran over poor Bart Simpson! Okay he was bitter pill but he’s just a child! Take me instead! Oh cruel merciless God!” He screamed.
”Uh no....” said Lisa. “Anyway I think you’ve had your fun with a Bart having a tattoo can you just stop? My mom and dad are so unhappy.”
”No can do!” Oscar shook his head. “I’m not here for everyone’s happiness, just Bart’s As long as he’s just peachy I’m doing what I came here to do.”
”Make everyone’s life a misery over a dumb tattoo... it’s not even what Bart would consider a cool one...” Lisa sighed.
”Quit bothering Oz, Lis. Oz can you try to be logical and stay as a baby?” Bart asked.
”Okay dokey!” Oscar said in a silly manner.
Lisa winced. “Okay dokey?”
”Yeah that’s my mannerisms. When everything’s good I say it’s just peachy or it’s hunky dory. And it’s not hunky dory right now....” said Oscar.
”Because Mom and Dad are rightfully upset over Bart getting that stupid tattoo!” Lisa yelled.
”Don’t yell at me! Or you’ll see another side to me you won’t like!” said Oscar in sharp eerie tone.
”I already don’t like you!” Lisa snapped.
In the kitchen Oscar jabbered on about nonsense. “I’m just saying things would be far more interesting if Bart was triplets and you kept yelling “Allllvviiiiiiiin!” At the bad one.” said Oscar.
”Uh no...” said Homer.
”Because I’m all for anthropomorphic talking Chipmunks in clothes that don’t even look like Chipmunks!!” Oscar ranted.
Okay this kid is nuts.... his brain told him.
”Oscar why don’t you watch cartoons?” Marge asked.
”Because Lisa is being a pill over me as your omnipresent narrator insisting Bart keeps his tattoo. And besides only Disney’s Gummi Bears is on or the Andy Griffith show...” Oscar shivered not being interested in the Andy Griffith show.
In the Rumpus room, A play room or nursery for Maggie. Alvin, Simon and Theodore were wearing bow ties, dickies, white spats and coat tails and shoes as stage dances with top hats and canes.
”Oh my god the not actually Chipmunks got dressed up nicely in such expensive looking cabaret outfits! I’m gonna throw up on them!” Oscar likes trolling furry cartoon characters wearing fancy cabaret night suits by puking on them when he’s a baby.
”Eeeeew!” Alvin, Simon and Theodore groaned dressed nicely in white cabaret suits.
”Oz maybe go outside and play in the sandbox...” Marge said sweetly.
”Okey dokey!” said Oscar in a cute silly manner. Marge let him out in the garden. He sat in the sand box and made sand castles.
However once Marge was distracted talking to Homer indoors. Oscar got out a magnifying glass and used it to magnify sunlight into scorching beans to burn some ants crawling about.
“But I want to hurt people, not animals..” Dark Oscar as a rasping voice in Oscar’s head whined.
”Shhhh!” Oscar hushed him.
”Is he still in his pyjamas? Marge it’s 1 pm!” said Homer as Oscar was um...
”No he disrobed out of them and is only wearing his diaper.” said Lisa.
Yeah he was wearing just a diaper.
”Well we’re all going out to see Dr Marvin Monroe for therapy again. And he can’t stay at home alone! Marge you’ll have to get him dressed.” said Homer.
”Oscar change of plan. We’ve got another appointment with Dr Marvin.” said Marge going outside into the yard.
”Oh the doctor for crazy people.” said Oscar.
”Um yes. So come inside so I can dress you.” Marge said to the strangely intelligent baby. Well he is one and a half... most start talking by then...
Oscar wearing only a diaper and brushing sand off of himself toddled indoors.
Marge a few minutes later was guiding Baby Oscar to his room. As she passed Bart’s room. He was out at the moment. She seethed in anger. Still bothered by him getting a tattoo last episode.
”Now do you need changing Oscar before you get changed.” said Marge.
Oscar shook his head.
”I know that look bumpkin. You say no and stink out the car! I’ll be the judge if you’re clean or not.” She pulled at the back of the waistline of his Happy Little Elves diaper. He had peed a fair bit.
Marge sighed and lifted him onto his changing table and tore off the wet diaper and put it in the diaper pail. She wiped him clean then powdered his butt before putting a Disney’s Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers diaper on him and taping it up.
Marge then dressed him. In a few minutes. Which tested her husband’s patience as he was yelling and honking the car horn. Oscar was dressed. He was wearing a pale blue long sleeve top, dark grey almost black even, tracksuit bottoms and sneakers. Sort of like baby Tai. He even wore his green goggles round his neck.
At Dr Marvin Monroe’s office.
”Oscar, as someone looking in on the Simpsons. How would you describe life with them?” Dr Marvin Monroe asked him.
”Everything is hunky dory!” Oscar said grinning a silly grin. He’s one of those cloud cuckoolanders who uses words like Okey Dokey, Hunky dory and um Peachy.
”I see. But what about this tiff involving Bart’s tattoo?” Dr Marvin Monroe asked.
”Well I think the Simpsons really need to mellow out... After all it’s your brother Bart got his tattoo from.” said Oscar.
Bart face palmed. Keep your yap shut! He yelled in his head.
However the Simpsons were distracted by Homer drawing a plane firing missiles. He made plane sounds.
”Homer..., Homer!! HOMER!” Dr Marvin Monroe yelled.
”Yello?” Homer asked.
”Homer, if you had been paying attention you’d realise your house guest sees you as well some kind of ogre.” said Dr Marvin Monroe.
”Now doc I don’t think he meant that!” said Marge.
”Yeah, Ogre is such a strong word.” said Lisa.
It was soon late evening. Bart came in as Lisa was downstairs in her nightwear with hair curlers in her hair.
”Bart why did you lie and deceive to get that stupid tattoo?” asked Lisa annoyed.
“I only lied because it was the easiest way to get what I wanted.” said Bart.
Lisa grumbled annoyed. “Oz please...”
”I like Bart’s tattoo!” said Oscar.
”I completely agree with myself!” He said as Dark Oscar.
“Hey potato chips come out I want to eat you!” said Homer to a bag of potato chips.
Oscar was in his crib playing with Dark Teddy. Teddy’s (his living teddy bear creature) evil counterpart.
“Goo goo! Nice teddy!” Oscar gurgled.
“I am not nice.” said Dark Teddy frowning. Also he has Marsupilami eyes.
Dark Teddy went downstairs to make baby Oscar some warm milk. However Zuul was in the fridge.
”Zuuuuuuuul!” said Zuul.
”What the?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!” Dark Teddy yelled. He’s voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz.
The next day leads in to the next canon episode after the pilot. Which is Bart the genius.
The Simpsons are playing scrabble.
“Come on, Mom.” said Lisa waiting for mom to put down her letters.
”Yeah, Mom. Hurry up.“ said Bart bored.
“All right. Mmm. How about "he"?” said Marge putting down He.
“Two points.” Lisa calculated she earned two points.
“Your turn, dear.” Marge asked Homer.
“Hmm. How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters?” He has an instant win with Oxidise/ze.
Hugo in the air vent rolled his eyes. My dad is an idiot.,, he thought to himself.
“Oh, wait. Here's a good one." Do."” said Homer putting down do.
“"Id." Triple word score.” Lisa put down Id.
“Hey, no abbreviations.” Homer explained.
“Not I.D., Dad."Id." It's a word.” Lisa explained. Talking about tiny shoulder angels and shoulder devils.
“As in, "This game is stup-id."” Bart groaned bored.
“Hey, shut up, boy.” Homer growled.
”Bart if this wholesome family activity bores you, find something else to do!” Marge snapped. “But no setting fire to the curtains again....”
Bart left to set fire to the living room curtains again.
”And take your tramp stamp with you!” Homer snarled. Annoyed he still had that tattoo.
”Oscar your turn bumpkin. Oz? (Gasp)” Marge asked Oscar but he has chewing on the letters while sat in a high chair. “No no no! Ugh. I think Oscar’s too young for scrabble.”
”That’s why Maggie’s quite content with her blocks.” said Lisa as Maggie stacked up her blocks in a tower and then swiped at it, knocking blocks everywhere.
Marge sighed and took a letter tile out of Oscar’s mouth and set him on the floor by Maggie and her blocks.
As they played Scrabble Hugo fumbled about in the air vent. This gave Homer an idea. Bart’s been an absolute brat lately. The mutant barely does anything wrong except draw too much attention to himself...
Homer took Bart to the attic and locked him in.
”Hey what the?!” Bart yelled.
”That’s you’re new home now. Brat...” Homer said coldly. Hugo ran about on all fours sniffing and muttering and growling.
Homef decided he might like Scrabble. By random chance Hugo got Homer’s letters. The word oxidize sat in his letter container.
”Ok um... Hugo, your turn.” said Lisa.
”Easy. Oxidize. Twenty two points. Plus Triple letter score, plus bonus for using up all my letters, I win.” said Hugo cracking his fingers.
”He’s right Dad! That’s a word!” said Lisa.
”D’oh! Well that doesn’t count because the letters are supposed to be scrambled! Let’s start again.” said Homer.
”I had Kwyjibo...” Bart groaned from the air vent.
- The Simpsons had spent all their Christmas money on a luxury Christmas holiday to the Alps.
- Parts of the episode are based on Whacking Day and There's no Disgrace like Home.
- This episode introduces Dr Marvin Monroe.
- Bart keeps his tattoo in my canon.