Bart and Frink's Almost Excellent Adventures: Quantum Cola Bart goes to see Professor Frink for help on his homework about dinosaurs but gets bored by his long winded exclamations and goes off home taking a can of Quantum Cola with him. (An experiment of Frink's)
However at home Bart drops the can of Quantum cola and Maggie gets ahold of it and drinks from it. It gives her super powers such as super strength and the ability to fly. Bart has to bring her back home before he gets in trouble.
Then Bart mucks about with a embigulator gun and accidentally makes Maggie gigantic.
Basically Bart hangs out at Frink’s lab of all places, finds a zany invention and causes insanity with it...
Fourth grade are causing anarchy.
Nelson is beating up Database, Boy with pink shades (not wearing his pink shades and wear a green jacket instead of a white one) was running along the desks throwing paper planes and Martin was sitting there like an angel.
Lewis and Richard had a water pistol fight.
Hugo was eating fish heads from his fish head bucket.
Bart winced and looked disgusted by his brother eating fish heads in class.
Willie cane in and was shocked by the mess.
"Why you wee beasties! Sit down at once!" He yelled.
But they wouldn't listen.
"Fine! Time to bring out the terrible pipes of Scotland!" said Willie. He took out his bagpipes and blew into them.
The kids including boy with shades screamed in pain at the horrid noise.
"Willie! Don't you know it's a felony to torture children with those!" Skinner told Willie off as the kids sat down quietly.
"Mrs Krabappel will be here very soon children, oh speak of the devil, here she is." said Skinner.
"You can return to your office now Seymour. I'm back from my coffee break..." said Edna Krabappel.
After Skinner left class started.
"Okay, today class we will be learning about dinosaurs." said Edna writing stuff on the black board.
The entire class groaned except Oscar, Hugo and Martin.
Oscar started making dinosaur growls while playing with his dinosaur toys that he got out of his desk. He had a plastic T. rex fighting a triceratops.
He sang the Jurassic park three theme while roaring and making the plastic dinosaurs fight.
"Okay Oscar, recess is over, put your toys back in your desk." said Edna.
Bart rolled his eyes at Oscar's childishness as Oscar was hummmig to the theme of Jurassic Park three while putting his toy dinosaurs away.
They then had a slideshow about dinosaurs and the excavation of fossils until a silhouette of a T. rex obscured the slideshow. They all turned around to look at Oscar who was making dinosaur roars while playing with his T. rex toy to liven up the slideshow.
"I was trying to liven up the show." said Oscar.
”Put your toys away...” said Mrs K.
It wasn’t long before Oscar disrupted class again.
“Holy freaking crud, it's a dinosaur! Oh lordy, what the heck? Oh my freaking gosh, it's a dinosaur! Holy crud...” Oscar sang to the Jurassic Park theme.
”Right that’s it. Oscar, detention after class...” said Mrs Krabappel.
After class in which an assignment for writing about dinosaurs was given out for next Tuesday, Oscar was kept behind in detention to write lines.
He was writing "I will not make a spectacle of myself. The classroom is not Jurassic Park." Repeatedly.
Bart agreed to wait for him.
Oscar hummed the Jurassic Park theme while doing lines.
Bart groaned. Jurassic Park was a classic movie but Oz is obsessed with it!
Elsewhere Homer was at work eating all the donuts again.
(noisy eating) Homer guzzles the donuts.
His friends weren’t impressed as they wanted some donuts.
Back in the school Hugo waited for a Bart and Oscar while reading a book to pass the time.
Once Oscar was done.
"Okay Stephen Spielberg let's get to Professor Frinkazoid to bone up on dinosaurs." said Bart.
"That's your solution to not paying attention in class? So Lisa and the library are out of the question?" Oscar asked.
"Yep. Besides Hugo really wants to go to Frink's lab." said Bart.
Hugo turned up dressed as a scientist in a white lab coat and wearing lab goggles and holding a clipboard.
"Hugo stop copying my mad scientist spiel!" Bart whined.
"Bart you wouldn't last long in the science field, even as a mad scientist! You don't even know what Lathanides and Actinides are..." said Hugo.
"Neither do you Dr Dork..." Bart retorted.
"Well no, but if you really want to be a mad scientist you have to study. You really didn't listen when Lisa explained when you wanted to blow up the world that you need to study fractions to get the right comp-" Hugo lectured but Bart was snoring loudly "Nevermind."
"Face it you two. Bart only wants to role play as a mad scientist. I don't think you will ever knuckle down and study Bart, you hate studying." said Oscar as they walked out of school.
"Correctamundo Oz." said Bart.
"Where as Hugo is very serious about the whole mad scientist thing." said Oscar.
"I prefer you called it Ethically challenge or morally lacking Scientist." said Hugo.
"Yeah whatever. Bart you don't have the patience to study the science behind all the dressing up and besides I know you'll get upset at the first mad experiment you see. Like keeping heads in jars or making a Frankenstein monster or raising the dead? You're always quick to scold me for doing weird stuff like that." Lectured Oscar.
”Oz, it’s wrong to sew creatures together...” said Bart.
"Yeah bro, mad scientists don't care about doing horrible things. That's why they're mad scientists..." said Hugo,
"Okay enough yakking you two, we're here." said Bart.
They arrived at Professor Frink's laboratory.
They went in. "Hey Prof- Uh... What are you doing?!" Bart asked as Frink was violently hitting something with a shovel and the lab was filled with growling sounds.
"Oh just some pesky mole men. Nothing much! Die you evil mole men! Die!" Frink was hitting some green mole men and making them retreat into a hole they dug through the floor of his laboratory.
”Coooool! Moley Moley Moley Moley!” Oscar yelled.
Once he was finished he wanted to know why they were here. "Hugo have you come to reconsider being my Igor or a deformed lab mutant?" said Frink.
"No! I haven't!" Hugo said cross with him for continuing to insinuate he was only fit to be a lab mutant.
"I need help on my homework. It's about dinosaurs." said Bart.
"Well you've come to the right place! There ain't a thing I don't know about dinosaurs?" said Frink.
”I want to unleash headless clowns on everyone!” Oscar declared.
Bart slapped him for being stupid.
”Ow!” Oscar groaned.
Frink talked about dinosaurs.
Unfortunately he bored Bart and Oscar with his lectures.
"Okay we're outta here before I die of boredom! Come on Oscar and Hugo..." said Bart. While Frink was distracted Bart swiped a yellow can with a red Q on it.
"Glavin! Where did that Quantum Cola go?!" said Frink.
Bart, Hugo and Oscar got home. Maggie was in the hall playing with her bricks.
"Lis, I need to borrow that big brain of yours." said Bart as they went upstairs. Bart dropped the can of Quantum Cola out of his rucksack as he put it down.
"Oh yeah? What's in it for me...?" Lisa replied.
"Oh come on Lis..." Bart begged.
When the can of Quantum Cola fell out and landed by her, Maggie grabbed it and started bashing it about to open it. Eventually she got it open and began drinking the fizzy drink.
Meanwhile Bart was listening to Lisa talk about dinosaurs when there was an almighty crash from downstairs.
"What was that?!" Lisa asked.
"I don't know but we should check." said Bart.
They hurried downstairs to find a Maggie shaped hole in the front door.
"Oh no! Maggie got out out!" said Bart.
"You better find her before you get in big trouble Bart." said Lisa.
"Or Frink does." said Oscar picking up a yellow can with a red Q on it that was leaking Cola all over the carpet.
"We'll deal with that later Oz, now we have to find Maggie!" said Bart.
They went into town to find Maggie stacking cars on top of each other into a pyramid like she would do with her blocks.
"That's a good little baby, put the car down gently..." said Wiggum nervously.
"Oh my! That can of Cola must have given Maggie super strength!" said Oscar.
"It's a long story Lisa..." said Hugo.
"Oh great now I'm gonna get grounded..." Bart sighed.
Lisa grumbled. "Bart you have to catch her." said Lisa.
"Easy, we'll just use your jump rope like a lasso! And hey presto!" Bart used Lisa's jump rope for skipping to snare Maggie as she flew about however she yanked Bart away with her.
Bart yelled as he was pulled up into the air.
"No Maggie! Come back!" said Lisa.
"I don't think she's listening." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed. "I need to make a phone call." She called Orofessor Frink to give him an earful. He explained what Quantum Cola was.
"Super powers eh? Well now I know what it does! I think I'll invent hamburger earmuffs next..." said Frink.
Lisa sighed as she listened to him jabber on.
Meanwhile Bart was being pulled about far above Springfield by Maggie.
"Maggie please! Fly home!" Bart begged her, but she wouldn't. "I'll give you a cookie!"
This made Maggie listen, she immediately turned around and flew back home. "Yes a big chocolate cookie!" said Bart.
Elsewhere Homer was driving about when he could swear he saw Maggie flying about in the air dragging Bart behind her. "What the?!" But then he decided it was probably from all the beer he'd been drinking that he was seeing things.
Eventually Bart got Maggie home and tied the other end of Lisa's jump rope to their Mail box. She hovered in mid air above it.
Lisa arrived with Oscar and Hugo.
"Good news Bart. Professor Frink said the super powers caused by his Quantum Cola are only temporary. Maggie will be back to her normal self soon." said Lisa.
"Good, I hope nothing else weird happens." said Bart.
Indoors Homer and Santa's Little Helper were licking up the Quantum Cola from off of the carpet.
The effects of the quantum Cola had worn off and Maggie was in the kitchen sat in her high chair eating a big chocolate chip cookie Bart gave her as promised. He remembered the time he ate all the cookies Mom baked once and had nightmares.
“Hmmmm! Bart I wish you wouldn’t bring stuff back from Professor Frink’s..” Marge sighed.
“It wasn’t his to bring back Mom, he nicked it.” said Hugo.
Bart discussed the idea of being Frink’s Guinea pig to make up for taking the Quantum cola. He had a day dream of himself as an adult trying an experimental fizzy drink.
“It’s a new diet cola called Nature’s Goodness.” said the tester as he gave adult Bart the drink.
“Cool, what’s in it?” Bart asked.
“Just a sweet, pleasant taste, some monsterism.” said the tester.
Bart drank some of it regardless. Suddenly he mutated as his arms swelled up monstrously. “Oh that’s sweet...” said Bart.
The flash back ended with Bart thinking how cool it was. “Wow...”
“Hmmmm! Bart you’re not being a guinea pig...” said Marge, annoyed.
”Can I be... this kind of Guinea pig? (Sniffing) Wheek! Wheek! Wheeeeek! (Popcorning)” said Oscar doing an impression of a guinea pig.
”Uh no...” said Marge.
Oscar drank from a yellow can of cola with a red Q on it, it was Quantum cola!
”No Oz! That’s Quantum Cola!” Bart yelled trying to snatch the can.
”Glub! Splutter!” Oscar tried to keep the can to drink from it. “No! It tastes so sweet and fizzy!”
”Oz gimme that!” Bart yelled. He took the Quantum cola.
However that would not be the end of Maggie’s antics.
One afternoon Bart had smuggled something else home. Frink’s embigulator gun. After running an errand for him to help try to find as Bart put it, a missing nerd tool. (His protractor)
”Found it!” Bart gave Frink a protractor.
Frink was working.
”Hey earth to Professor Dorkenheimer...” said Bart drinking a Squishee.
”Bart I’m working. Just leave it on the bench.” said Frink.
While Frink was distracted Bart took home the embigulator.
For some reason the professor was keeping his laboratory mostly in the dark. Probably to save on the electric or for dramatic effect. Only a faint green light provided light.
Bart looked about the experiments. There was a clone in a jar. A Frink shaped robot. A Frink rat hybrid....
Bart shrugged his shoulders and went home with the embigulator.
He tested it on a Rubix cube on the Professor’s desk. It got bigger by five times.
”Whoa! Time to super size this town...” said Bart.
He zapped one of Homer’s pairs of blue pants. It grew bigger.
“Cooool!” said Bart.
Homer tried on his pants.
”Marge! It’s a miracle! My pants are too big! Make me some pancakes!” said Homer.
He tried it on various things such as the newspaper while Skinner was picking it up when the newspaper boy put it through the letter box. Skinner yelled as he fell over from the weight of the giant newspaper.
Agnes was astonished by what she was seeing.
Then he tried it on a squishee he had just bought upon leaving Apu’s that afternoon an hour after his newspaper prank. To his joy the squishee grew giant. He struggled to hold the giant squishee to drink it on the way home. “This could keep me going for weeks if I had some way of freezing it.” thought Bart.
After having his fill of squishee from his giant squishee, Bart continued his pranks with the embigulator.
He zaps Lisa’s Malibu Stacy doll making her shop mannequin sized then a bar of soap making it the size of a bed. Oscar tries climbing on the giant soap but slips about because soap is slippery.
“Bart! Have you bought more gadgets home from Professor Frink’s?! Have you not learnt anything from yesterday!” Lisa yelled.
“I’m just having some fun...” said Bart making something grow with the embigulator.
“Gimme that!” Lisa tried to snatch it.
“No! Leggo!” Bart resisted.
“Bart. This is not a toy!” Lisa grunted.
During their fight the embigulator fires a ray and hit Maggie who suddenly started growing bigger and bigger...
“Oh no! Maggie!” Lisa gasped.
Maggie continued to grow and tore out of her babygro and diaper.
“Uh Maggie maybe you should stop growing now...” said Bart wondering why she was still growing.
Maggie gurgled as she grow big enough that she was bigger than the house and tore out of it. She toddled down the road naked.
“Maggie! What have I told you about wandering off? Especially without a diaper on!?” Marge admonished Maggie but she didn’t hear her and continued stomping about town.
Homer saw the damage to his house and screamed. “That’s it! You are so dead boy!” He strangled Bart.
“No Dad! Bart needs to get Maggie back! I’ll go help him. You lot call professor Frink. He’ll know what to do!” Lisa explained. Homer let Bart go.
Bart and Lisa went off to catch giant Maggie.
”Aren’t you helping?” Homer asked Oscar.
”No I’m watching Jurassic Park.” said Oscar.
Bart and Lisa followed Giant Maggie’s trail of destruction.
”Hey isn’t that Homer’s little girl?” Carl asked Lenny as they were taking a hot air balloon ride together.
Giant Maggie was stomping about gurgling.
”Yeah. They grow up so fast.” said Lenny.
“We’ve got to stop her before she destroys the whole town!” said Lisa.
“Yeah. She going completely the wrong way! The school is that way!” said Bart snickering.
“Bart that’s not helping...” said Lisa.
Maggie was hungry so she took a bite of Lard Lad’s giant donut.
”Oh my goodness! A baby is eating the Lard Lad donut!” Wiggum gasped.
Lard lad wasn’t very happy and came to life to fight her. However she was much bigger than him so she threw him across town into a building causing it to collapse.
“But the story is clearly “Attack of the 50ft Maggie” and the Halloween episode was Attack of the 50ft eyesores...” said Lisa.
“I don’t think their exact size is important Lisa...” said Bart.
Maggie then went to the pacifier factory and took the giant model pacifier and sucked on it. Her pacifier nukking sounds were deafening!
“We need to find some way to get her back to her usual size! Think of the diapers we’ll have to change!” said Lisa.
“She hasn’t got one on at the moment! She more than likely just to go everywhere....” said Bart.
“Eeeeew!” said Lisa.
“I’ll fix this! Sweet baby among us!” Oscar used the Sweet baby among us Shen gong wu. A giant golden baby appeared. He gurgled and awaited Oscar’s instructions but shielded him protectively on instinct from the giant Maggie wrecking the town.
“Sweet baby among us. Put a diaper on Maggie!” said Oscar.
The giant golden baby Shen Gong Wu gurgled and fired a light from his diaper while doing a hip thrust. A cloth diaper wrapped itself around Maggie’s waist, hips and around her crotch. Wrapping a diaper onto her successfully. A safety pin was even added to secure the diaper.
Meanwhile Rick Moranis as a crackpot scientist made his baby son gigantic is some insane experiment. He’s a scientist when he’s not being possessed by ghosts and demons.
Hugo shamelessly pilfered his lines while working in his attic lab.
“You think I'm just some boy from Springfield who tinkered with crack pot ideas in his attic? Well let me tell you something, this country was built on the shoulders of people who tinkered with crack pot ideas in their attics, basements and backyards. Alexander Graham Bell worked in a two room flat!” said Hugo.
Homer winced. “Okay....”
Hugo was tinkering with something.
“Dad, were you ever popular in school?” asked Hugo.
”You bet! Because I wasted my entire time there goofing off and smoking in the toilets with my best friend Barney.”
“Dad, were you ever popular in school?“ Hugo III asked his dad. Hugo made a kid somehow.
“You bet. I was president of the astronomy club three years in a row. We were happenin' guys.” said Hugo II.
Homer rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure. You were popular for polishing telescopes and dressing like a geek...”
Hugo frowned at him.
”While your up here working Nutty Professor. Your brother plays baseball.” said Homer.
"Baseball's Just A Phase, It'll Pass. But Science Is Always Cool." said Hugo working.
Rick Moranis had done something stupid again, like make the dog giant or something. He tried to explain himself but he was possessed by Vinz Clortho.
”I am Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer!” He spoke in a demonic voice.
”I don’t care if you’re the Queen of Sheba, you did what with our dog?!” Diane yelled.
Also he was in Disney’s Brother Bear.
Then Phil Collins provided the scenery music again while Kenai pulls a Vader on Koda.
“Koda I’ve done something terrible.” said Kenai.
“I don’t like this story...” said Koda scared.
”I’m sorry. Your mother’s not coming back.” said Kenai.
Imperial Death March plays.
”No! No! Noooooooo!” Koda cried.
”Why was there a scene dedicated to Rick Moranis?” Bart winced.
Frink eventually turned up with a ray gun like the embigulator and a jet pack.
“Gahoy! Bart what have you done now?!” said Frink cross with him.
“Save the scolding for later professor! Just tell us how to return Maggie back to normal!” said Bart.
“Oh it’s easy. I already have the Debigulator! All I need is something to distract Maggie. Like a favourite toy of hers or something...
”A debiguluator? That seems rather unscientific...” said Lisa.
”There is no time! We must find your sister.” said Frink.
They Found Maggie stomping about.
”Maggie! Maggie...” Bart called to the giant baby.
”She needs a distraction.” said Frink.
Lisa thought about Bobo, Mr Burns’s teddy bear Maggie loved. Then saw an embarrassing teddy bear costume in the clothes store nearby that was just the right size for Bart.
She had an idea...
Somehow they all got Bart to wear the embarrassing costume.
“Razzle fazzle! (Angry Mutley grumbling)” Bart grumbled like Mutley the dog from Dick Dastardly and Mutley from Whacky Racers.
“Uh wrong cartoon Boo Boo...” said Oscar smirking. “And your costume is missing one feature...” He stuck a big round shiny black rubber nose on Bart to look like a cartoon bear’s wet shiny black nose.
“Egad! My nose is huge!” said Bart. Oscar was acting like a baby and gurgling while squeezing Bart’s big shiny black nose.
“Look Maggie! Bobo!” said Lisa.
Maggie saw Bart as a teddy bear and giggled and stomped towards him. She grabbed him and giggled.
“Hurry Professor before she stuffs me in her diaper or does any other gross giant baby antics!” said Bart as a teddy bear.
Oscar giggled. “Giant babies...”
Frink zapped Maggie back to her usual size. She toddled towards Lisa who picked her up.
“There that was a close one. I’d get home before the authorities and the angry lawsuits arrive!” said a Frink.
“And I need to get out of this ridiculous sissy outfit before Jimbo sees me!” said Bart trying to take off the teddy bear costume.
“When you’ve had that dry cleaned Bart can I have that?” Oscar asked eagerly. He thought the costume was cute.
“Sure. Whatever floats your boat.” said Bart. He was thinking how weird Oscar was for liking sissy cute things.
“Well let’s get you home Maggie.” said Lisa. “We’ve had quite an adventure...”
Maggie sucked her pacifier.
Apparently the adventures weren’t over because according to canon Bart because Maggie was holding him while Frink shrunk her. Bart got shrunk too!
”Ay carumba!” Bart squeaked in a tiny voice as everyone was giant to him.
”Oh my goodness!” Lisa gasped.
”Coooool!” said Oscar thinking Bart being shrunk was cool.
”Not cool! Professor you have to return me back to normal!” Tiny Bart whined.
”And I will, glavin! But here have some candy.” Frink gave Bart a candy/sweet wrapped up.
”Professor that candy is too big for me at the moment...” said Bart.
”Ah, glavin... ah hem...” said Frink.
”I say we let Maggie torture Bart. Or I could torture Bart! Or Hugo could torture Bart!” said Oscar.
”That’s a great idea Oz! Mwuhahahaha!” Hugo laughed maniacally.
”Uh no...” said Lisa but Maggie grabbed Bart and toddled off to torment him, as giant babies do...