Bart the Boyfriend After being dumped by Greta, Bart desperately trues to get a new girlfriend. All his attempts end in failure, or have a catch to them. Meanwhile Homer crashes his car again and gets a new one only to find it is pure evil...
And Oscar has a cruel prank cooking.
The chalkboard gag is “Baskin Robbins does not have 32 flavours”
The episode starts with the Simpsons being ordered off of Rainer Wolfcastle’s estate. Bart and Greta’s relationship turned sour as Greta is crying.
“Babe I’m sorry! It’s just I have so many commitments!” Bart explained.
“Save your excuses! Just leave! I never want to see you ever again Bart Simpson!” Greta sobbed.
“You heard my little Greta! Leave! Or I’ll stuff my hand down your throat and rip out your goddamn spine!” Rainer yelled at the Simpsons.
“We better get going.” said Marge.
“Can I keep all this stuff I stuffed in my car?” Homer asked. He had stuffed his car with goods and blenders and things.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Homer quivered. He tried to get everyone into the car.
“Dad we cant get in because of all of Rainer’s stuff you took!” said Bart.
“Of course you can... We’ll just have to improvise!” said Homer.
Tetris music played as Homer imagines his family as Tetris blocks. He arranges them and his stuff to fit in the car. In reality they are in very painful positions. Bart has a crooked neck for example.
However Homer realised he had no room for himself.
“I’ll drive us home sweetie.” said Marge with a bent neck from Homer’s Tetris sorting. The kids groaned in pain from inside the car.
“But how am I supposed to get home?” Homer asked.
“I don’t know dear but we have to go.” said Marge driving off.
Homer groaned. He sheepishly asked Rainer who was still mad because of his daughter.
“Uh Mr Wolfcastle... I was wondering if you’d drive me home...”
“I can carry you home, in this papoose! It’ll be just like in my last movie, Big Baby, or the middle aged toddler, I forget.” said Rainer Wolfcastle putting Homer in a Papoose big enough for him. Rainer then carried Homer home.
“I’m a big boy!” said Homer being silly.
“That’s my boy...” said Rainer humouring him.
In the packed car.
“I don’t see how you feel so hard done by Bart! You broke your promise to Greta to take her out on a picnic just so you could prank Skinner!” Lisa yelled.
“It was so tempting!” Bart whined.
“Grrrrrr! You boys are all the same! Can’t you just listen to us for once?!” Lisa yelled.
“What do you women want!?” Bart yelled. “If we don’t tell you where we are you get mad. If we do you get mad! What do you want!?”
“Grrrrr! You are such a jerk! You’re just like Nelson was to me when we went out!” Lisa strangled Bart.
“Lisa! Don’t strangle your brother!” Marge told her off. “We get enough people sticking their noses into our lives as it is!”
As they drove Maggie grimaced and a horrible smell emitted from her.
”Uuuuuugh! Mom! Maggie fudged her Huggies!” Bart groaned.
”Bart! Don’t say it like that! You’ll give her low self esteem! Uuuuugh! Sweetie how did you turn cinnamon apple baby food into that?!” Marge reprimands Bart but the stench bothers her too.
Maggie points at Lisa embarrassed.
”Don’t point this at me sister...” said Lisa holding her nose in disgust.
Oscar grimaced and whined.
”Eeeeeeew! Oz! You should know better!” Bart and Lisa cried.
”No! He fudged himself... didn’t he?!” Hugo groaned in disbelief.
”Kids be more supportive of Oscar’s problem with toilet training!” Marge nagged. “Peeeeyeeew! That is not cute Oscar...”
Marge stopped at Apu’s and ran in holding Maggie out in front of her as Oscar followed holding his nose in disgust.
”Apu, where’s the bathroom? I need to change Maggie! She did a poo!” said Marge.
Oscar laughed. “Apu, you’re a poo! Hahahahaha!”
’Very funny Oscar! And sorry Marge. That bathroom is for paying customers only!” said Apu.
”Please!” Marge begged.
”Yes please! I’ve got one hell of a diaper rash! It’s like my underwear is on fire while getting a wedgie off of Nelson!” Oscar groaned.
Marge held Maggie near Apu so he could smell her.
”Ugh! By the elephant headed Ganesh! That is sick! I have to change eight lots of diapers and none of my Octuplets ever did that!! Okay Marge! Follow me!” Apu took her to the toilet.
Maggie and Oscar have their diapers changed. It’s really funny with Oscar, him being nine and way to big for using the diaper changing table, changing him was like changing blue otter boy off of Furaffinity. Dude grow up before you trigger the kink shamers! XD!
They left but this ended up in that time Marge went on steroids because a Hobo who had just been to DisneyLand mugged Marge.
”Gimme your handbag!” The mugger warned.
”Oh my God! Goofy no! We can talk about this!” Oscar was being moronic.
”This handbag has diapers in it?! What the?!” said the mugger.
”Well yes, it’s a diaper bag. But I can see why you thought-“ Marge stammered.
”Shut up!” said the mugger.
”Why are you Goofy?” Oscar asked.
”Because I’ve just been to Disney World Florida! Okay?!” The Mugger snapped.
”Oz...” Dark Oscar sighed and forcefully took him over. Dark Oscar grimaced when he felt soft cloth and waterproof plastic pads touch his Under regions. “Our body is wearing a diaper right now... aren’t you...?”
Oscar in spirit form laughed.
The Mugger pulled a knife on Marge frightening her.
”Get the hell out of here! Thug!” Dark Oscar snapped pointing an uzi at him.
”Holy fudge! You’re packing heat!” The mugger ran off making Goofy’s holler.
They got home and Bart went to his room moping. Hugo hurried up to the attic and shut himself in to study, perform experiments...
Bart moped in his room looking at his photos of his girlfriends. He then changed his Facebook status to single again. Now he needed a new girlfriend so he went to Wally Weasels to find some babes.
Meanwhile Rainer dropped Homer off at his drive and walked home. “That Papoose really chafed...” said Homer.
“Hmmmmm! Homer I really think you should peak to Bart he’s rather cut up about this whole Greta thing.” said Marge.
“Why me?!” said Homer.
“Don’t ask me! How can I help in that area! That’s a father and son thing!” said Marge.
“Fine...” Homer sighed. “But you have to teach him about puberty and sex!”
Homer went to Bart’s room. Bart was in there at his desk moping.
“Bart? Daddy would like a word with you...” said Homer sitting on his bed.
Bart groaned and went over to him. He laid across Homer’s lap with his shorts and pants pulled down exposing his butt because he thought he was getting spanked.
“D’oooooh! Bart!” Homer groaned annoyed. “This is serious! I’m here to listen to whatever you have to let out! Now pull up your pants and shorts or I’ll make you wear a diaper every time you do that!” Bart got up and pulled his pants and shorts back up. and sat on his bed fidgeting like young Link.
We cut to Young Link’s treehouse. Young Link is sitting on his bed. He is swinging his little legs about as Navi the fairy explains something.
“Do you always fidget when people are talking to you?” Navi asked.
“Ha! Yeeeeeh! Hiyaaaa!” Young Link replied in gibberish.
Back at Bart’s room.
“I just don’t get girls. My last girlfriend Jessica turned out to be a psychopath... and now Greta is too clingy and dumps me because I wanted some to myself! What am I doing wrong?” Bart asked.
“Don’t ask me! I don’t understand women sometimes!” said Homer.
“Hrrrrrmmmmmm!” Marge and Lisa grumbled at them.
Oscar was in the lounge watching cartoons. Lisa came in.
“I’m watching cartoons!” said Oscar in a silly manner.
“Meh...” said Lisa going off to her room.
In his room, Bart was in his Krusty the clown baby pyjamas/onesie playing with a Krusty doll by pulling its string.
“I’m Krusty the clown! Hooahahahaha!”
“Hey I’m not doing that line... Where’s my agent...”
“You’re my best friend...”
“I didn’t do it!”
Bart was annoyed by that last line.
“That shill! He stole my bit!” Bart yelled. as he sat up he crinkled from something he was wearing.
“Oh sweetie I’m sure the I didn’t do it was his line before it was yours...” said Marge. She can hear him crinkling. “Are you wearing your Krusty the clown printed diapers?!”
“I need some comfort right now. Which I can only get from Krusty and dressing like a baby...” said Bart.
Marge sighed and rolled her eyes.
Homer went for a drive while singing Simpson, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history...” until he crashed into a chestnut tree. He screamed before doing so.
“My car! My not so beautiful vile pink, but loyal car!” Homer cried at his damaged car.
He went to Raphael to get a replacement.
“We have this new model to aid you until your car gets repaired.” He showed a black evil looking car. “I must warn you pally, they say this car is nothing but pure evil...”
“Yeah, yeah...” said Homer. He drove off in the evil car...
The car seemed to be normal at first, but as Homer was absentmindedly singing along to the radio, the car laughed evilly to its self in a deep baritone voice.
“You did what?!” Bart yelled while strangling Oscar.
“I thought it would help you get a girlfriend!” Oscar gasped for breath.
“That was a private embarrassing photo!” Bart yelled. “And I’m not ready to move on from Greta! I still love her!”
“She seems ready to move on from you. She’s going out with Milhouse now.” said Oscar.
“Milhouse?!” Bart asked.
“Not anymore...” said Greta outside in the street.
“Please babe! What did I do wrong?!” Milhouse cried.
“I just think we should see other people. It’s not you, it’s me...” said Greta.
“That always means it’s the man’s fault!” Milhouse whined. He started crying.
Bart rolled his eyes and shut his bedroom window.
“Just give this new girl a try. She has a few um, odd kinks but you’ll like her...“ said Oscar.
Unfortunately Bart’s new girlfriend was into ABDL. Adult baby diaper lover. She thought Bart looked adorable in his Krusty the clown printed diapers.
She somehow got him to role play as a baby. Maybe because he didn’t want to displease a lady. Bart was sitting on his bed in a diaper sucking a pacifier.
“Seems like baby needs changing! But not before he does his business!” Bart’s weird new girlfriend cooed.
“Daisy I’m not doing that...” Bart groaned.
“Well it’s a good thing I laced your chilli dog with laxatives earlier...” his girlfriend smirked.
“You what?!” Bart yelled but his stomach gurgled and groaned. “Oh crap!” He groaned. Suddenly he messed himself with a horrible slimy mess into his diaper. It turned brown slightly. “Eeeeeeugh!”
“Okay mommy will change you sweetie!” said Bart’s weird girlfriend. She laid him down to change him.
“Eeeeeugh! Bart you’re gross...” Bart’s girlfriend groaned as she saw the mess he made in his diaper.
Bart grinned deviously. Maybe he should play this baby stuff just to be obnoxiously gross, maybe he’ll put her off of him.”
Oscar was drinking soda while watching cartoons.
“I’m worried about Dad’s new car. It ran over Mr Moleman five times yesterday while laughing evilly! Cars don’t laugh!” said Lisa.
“Yeah this is almost as bad as when in Mommy Beerest when Homer wanted to go to a happy place with Lenny and Carl.” said Oscar.
We cut to Lenny and Carl explaining to Homer at work that Marge and Moe are having an emotional affair.
“Can you explain it at a happy place?” Homer whined.
We cut to Itchy and Scratchy land.
“Wait, wasn’t this where all those itchy and Scratchy robots turned evil?!” Homer asked.
Just do the cutaway...
Homer was on the log ride with Lenny and Carl who were explaining Marge was having an emotional affair with Moe and that to win her back Homer had to start listening to Marge and buy her a Time’s Magazine from the year she was born. Homer didn’t know why Lenny wanted him to do that last thing.
“That’s it! Stop this ride!” said Homer.
“Okay sir!” said Squeaky Voiced Teen. He stopped the log ride. Homer’s log he was riding with Lenny and Carl bashed into the one behind knocking Barney out of it.
Meanwhile a log fell off a cliff with a mother, her husband and then kid inside. It crashed on the tarmac below. Outside the ride area.
“Yay! I wanna go again Daddy!” Yelled the cute boy voiced by Tress McNeill. His dad didn’t answer as he lied slopped over the splinters of the log ride. “Daddy?” The cute boy asked once more.
At home Oscar was finishing his story the cutaway was about.
“And that’s how Timmy Thomas ended up a cripple...” said Oscar.
“What has that got to do with my Dad’s evil car?!” Lisa yelled.
Oscar went upstairs only to find Daisy rush out of Bart’s room and slam the door behind her in horror.
“What’s a matter? Gone off Bart already?” Oscar asked.
“That boy is the most disgusting guy I’ve ever met!” said Daisy. “I don’t even want to tell you what he’s doing with a towel right now...”
“Oh too bad... are you dumping him then?” said Oscar.
“You could say that. Maybe I should get out of this diaper fetish mommy dominatrix thing...” said Daisy.
“Or maybe I can hook you up with someone more suited to you...” said Oscar.
He set her up with Timmy Thomas. Timmy was sat in his wheelchair.
“Are you sure he’s into that stuff?” Daisy asked.
“He was rendered incontinent by an accident at Itchy and Scratchy land.” Oscar explained. “He’s used to wearing diapers.”
“Okay just as long as he not a pig like Bart...” said Daisy.
Homer was driving his evil car when it spoke to him.
“Who said that?” Homer asked.
“It’s me, your new car...” said the car.
“You can talk?!” Homer asked.
“... yes... Now that you know too much, I must kill you...” said the car in an Alan Rickman voice.
Meanwhile Oscar and Bart were taking Timmy Thomas about town. Oscar saw a album by someone called Timmy Thomas as that was the name written on it. Along with a picture of a black man.
Oscar laughed insanely and showed it to Timmy Thomas. “Look you made an album!”
Timmy rolled his eyes. “That’s a different Timmy Thomas... I didn’t make that...”
“Oz please... I’m trying to get a new girlfriend... I was thinking a jailbird...” said Bart.
Bart got himself sent to Juvie. A girl with black hair and pink chunking highlights called Gina Vendetti was there.
“Vendetta?!” Gino asked having been transferred to the Juvenile hall’s crèche. He was wearing an orange prison jumpsuit.
“No, Gino. Vendetti...” said Bart.
“Oh...” said Gino Terwilliger.
However unfortunately for Bart, Gina wasn’t interested and just kept beating him up.
As Bart was getting kneed in the groin by Gina. “I like babe’s who play hard to get...” he said aroused.
Gina gave him bedroom eyes and kissed him before slapping him and beating him up again.
Meanwhile in his evil car...
“Now Homer, we must always wear our seatbelt...” said the evil car. A seatbelt strapped Homer in.
“Oh thanks mr Evil Car.” said Homer but the seatbelt suddenly went tight and strangled him. Then the steering wheel started slamming into his face on a piston. Homer cried out from every hit.
“Ow! Oh! Ah! (Cries in pain)”
Meanwhile Bart got out of Juvenile Hall.
“What do babes like...” he asked himself. He saw Gramps kiss his new girlfriend Zelda. She was a hoochy who only liked him because he had a car. But Grampa didn’t realise or cared.
“That’s it! I’ll learn how to drive! Then every girl will want me...” said Bart.
“Uh Bart... you’re only ten... you can’t get a driving license yet...” said Oscar.
“Pleeeaaaasee... That didn’t stop me getting this tattoo right?” said Bart showing off his Mother Tattoo from the first episode.
“Touché.” said Oscar.
“Guys you’ll have to put Bart’s story on hold! We have to rescue Dad!” said Lisa. They went off to rescue Homer from his evil car.
Oscar however wasn’t interested in rescuing Homer and warped himself home. He was in the Simpson house attic having acquired liquor among other things... as he was unpacking them Hugo caught him.
“What are you doing in my lab without my permission?!” Hugo told him off. “Oh my gosh! Is that liquor?!”
“Maybe...” said Oscar.
“Oz. I like your little experiments as much as my own but you can’t bring liquor into the house! My mom will kill me! Get rid of it!” said Hugo.
“It’s not like you to be a goody two shoes... and this is just part of an experiment slash prank.” said Oscar.
“Okay while Mom’s out shopping right now. What is it....” said Hugo.
“I’m making Moe’s Forget me shot.” said Oscar.
“Why?” Hugo asked.
“Because if you test a pregnancy test on it the pregnancy test gives a positive reading! I’m gonna do this with all of Marge’s pregnancy test kits...” said Oscar. “Then she’ll think Homer got her pregnant and will withhold sex from him! Hehehehe!”
“Oscar you diabolical little... munchkin... come ere you...!” said Hugo at first we think he is disgusted by Oscar’s prank but actually he loves it and boisterously scruffles Oscar’s hair. Oscar giggled.
Timmy Thomas came into the lounge dressed as a furry. Yes a furry...
”Are you into diaper furs?” He asked Daisy.
”Uh no. Because that would be zoophilia...” said Daisy. Let people fuck multi coloured cartoon animals like blue and purple foxes!