Simpsons Fanon

Bart Gets a Z Bart trying time make Mrs Krabappel more fun in class gets her drunk. Hilarity ensues until she unfortunately gets fired. And a mysterious novel asks us all to find the answer... Then in a sequel to Bart Gets an F, Bart gets the lowest grade ever, a Z...


The title gag is Sherry Bobbins flying. That’s Mary Poppins you klutz!

The billboard gag is Apu with the message “Porn now on lower shelf” and Oscar abseiling from the sign cheering “Yes!”

The chalkboard gag is “Chalkboarding is not torture.” A reference to Waterboarding.

The couch gag is the Simpsons having a cowboy style shoot out. Maggie bursts through the wall firing a mini gun.

The episode starts with with the song “It’s just another day” as Mrs Krabappel wakes up at 6:30 covered in homework papers to be graded. She sleepily grades some before getting ready for the day.

She has a bagel for breakfast.

In the bathroom there is a wine glass with red wine in it. She pours away the wine and pours mouthwash into it and gargles the mouth wash to clean her teeth. She then talks the herself in her bathroom mirror coaching herself that it’s just another day of school teaching fourth graders. Sadly her mirror isn’t haunted Poltergeist style.

She then applies her make up.

Mrs Krabappel is then doing her morning exercises. No wonder she has to get up so early...

However she falls off of her exercise ball and lands face first in a cat’s water bowl. Yes she has a cat...

Mrs K groans soaking with cat drinking water and a few errant cat biscuits. Her cat stares at her.

She then drives to work singing to the montage song, it’s just another day until some college frat boys in their Archie car tease her. Duh stay out of Riverdale!

“Ha! That lady is singing a hundred year old song!” said one of the frat boys.

Mrs Krabappel eventually arrives at work. She coaches herself some more.

“If you can teach just one kid, one thing... it won’t be so bad...”

The fourth graders including Bart groaned as she came in.


However in class it is maths but Bart, and the rest of the class are on their mobile phones which are filling the classroom with a chorus of bleeps and ringing tones.

”Class... Class! Please...” Mrs Krabappel asked.

But everyone was too busy on their phones plus the noise from the devices drowned her out.

“Class. Class... CLASS CAN YOU PLEASE PUT THOSE PHONES AWAY AND PAY ATTENTION!” Mrs Krabappel yelled desperately.

Nelson was bullying Martin while texting.

“Text uncle! Text uncle!” Nelson had Marin in a head lock.

Martin texted uncle at him and he released him.

Bart is texting “Teacher sucks!” In text speak to his friends.

Milhouse was playing Snake.

“Class why do you need those phones...” Mrs Krabappel sighed.

“Security” said Nelson.

“Emergencies” said Bart.

“Security.” said Milhouse.





The chorus of phone sounds and chatting continued.

“Well could you please turn those phones down to silent!” Mrs Krabappel asked.

The children did so but suddenly all the phones vibrated so there was a buzzing sound of vibrating phones.

Mrs Krabappel sighed.


Down in third grade, Oscar’s mobile phone was set to vibrate and was vibrating from texts. He looked about suspiciously and then put the vibrating phone down his shorts and moaned with pleasure as it made him aroused...

“Figures Oz would do that...” Bart sighed.

“And that's why I found Good Night, Gorilla to be the perfect summer beach read.” said Jurkle up front reading.

”That damn dirty ape!” Oscar yelled.

Ace face palmed exasperated.

”Oscar, do not yell out in class.” said the teacher.

Back in fourth grade the vibrating phones annoyed Mrs Krabappel.

“Right that’s it! Hand over your phones, your calculators, your Gameboys...” said Mrs Krabappel carrying a box, the kids whined as the reluctantly handed over their phones and gadgets.

“These will stay in the teacher’s desk draw with the biology frogs.” said Mrs Krabappel. There was a desk draw of her desk filled with green croaking frogs staring at her. “Oh wait, are these the biology class frogs for dissecting or the transfiguration class frogs for Frog to Prince lessons?”

“Beats me Mrs K.” said Bart. “I thought you’d know which ones are kept where.”

“Eh... they’re frogs either way.” said Mrs Krabappel pouring the phones on the poor frogs. “Now class we are going to do things the old fashioned way, no gadgets, no calculators, just your brains and my blackboard.”

“Fine, teach us then.” said Nelson.

Mrs Krabappel looked about nervously. Maybe this was a bad idea. “We can still use this old computer! Look! Word Jammers!” said Mrs Krabappel turning on an old computer and putting on an ancient educational computer game. It loaded very slowly.

“My stroked-out grandfather has more memory than that old thing.” said Nelson.

“Is that the grandpa you took to take your grandparents to school day who was a judge?” Bart asked.

“Who remembers that?!” Nelson gasped.

“It’s continuity. Deal with it.” said Comic Book Guy at the classroom window.

“Um... well no. This is another grandfather.” said Nelson.

“How is he doing?” Milhouse asked.

“He’s on the mend, thanks.” said Nelson.


After school Bart invites all his classmates round.

“All of them?!” Marge gasped as all the kids came in.

“Yes Mom so make everyone sandwiches.” said Bart.

Then his well wishers arrived and one of them called Bart’s mom Mrs Cumberdake.

Bart and his friends laid out cardboard boxes to sit on.

They were grumbling that Mrs Krabappel had confiscated their phones.

“How could Mrs Krabappel take my mobile phone?! I’m only on month one of a sixty month contract!” said Milhouse.

“You know, Mrs Krabappel just needs to chill out and realise life is cool. But how?” Bart asked as he pondered an idea.

Suddenly Homer ran out into the garden drunk and giggling as he drank a bottle of Duff beer while being chased by Santa’s Little Helper carrying a hose, that was squirting water, in his mouth.

Hugo grimaced.

“Okay now you be Daddy and I’ll be the dog!” said Homer. Homer was now naked holding the hose in his mouth while chasing Santa’s Little Helper who was wearing his shirt and drinking a bottle of Duff beer. Homer giggled.

Bart grimaced at this weird sight.

“You know my dad is a lot more fun after a few beers.” said Bart. “Maybe Mrs K would be a lot nicer if we ‘Irish’ up her coffee...” Add alcohol to it.

“Put blood in it?!” said Nelson making a silly suggestion.

Ace hissed exposing his fangs.

“No!” Bart whined. “Put booze in it!”

“Oooooh...” said fourth grade.

“First the easy part. Kids, get some booze.” said Bart.

Dance of the sugar plum fairy plays.

Milhouse used a crowbar to get his parents liquor cupboard open and took some liquor.

Martin was going through his parents liquor in their rather lovely looking house.

Then for some odd reason Dr Hibbert’s kids were helping out with syringes of booze. Dr Hibbert woke up from a nap on his couch so his son who wanted to go to the spaghetti factory/laboratory quickly injected him with booze and he went to sleep.

Then Nelson was at a nightclub with his mom. While she danced an erotic dance Nelson took drinks and poured them into a saucepan.

Then Bart was simply ordering alcohol on EBay and collected it straight from the delivery man. He didn’t notice anything wrong with giving alcohol to a minor...

“Um anyone not notice anything wrong with this scene...?” Oscar asked the fourth wall.

Bart laughed as he took his booze. No one stopped him. No one. And this is canon! Matt are you high or something?


At school in Mrs K’s fourth grade classroom. Bart and his friends poured booze into Mrs Krabappel’s morning coffee. Someone kept a look out.

“She’s almost finished flirting with the vending machine maintenance guy! Hurry!” said Milhouse.

Everyone quickly got to their desks.

Mrs Krabappel came in, and sipped her coffee.

“What if she tastes it?” Milhouse asked Bart.

“Don’t worry, hazelnut creamer covers all sins...” said Bart.

The alcohol had an almost immediate effect on Mrs Krabappel as she mellowed out and licked her lips at the tasty coffee.

Milhouse was reading a story or essay when Mrs Krabappel drunk started stroking his hair. Then she decided he deserved two star stickers. “Two stars for you.” She stuck them on his glasses so he couldn’t see.

“Oh have another...” she stuck a star sticker on his big nose.

Bart then read his essay.

“You get one star Bart. Right on your forehead...”

Bart returned to his desk looking like Blackstar.

Then Wendell got loads of stars stuck to him. He looked ridiculous.

Then the entire class sung “this old man, he played one! He played Knickknack on my thumb!”

“This old man, he played one! He played knickknack on ‘hoc’ my thumb!” sang everyone with Mrs Krabappel hiccuping with drunkness.

Then she actually started teaching something. Maths. However she drunkenly smeared the chalk smudging it and groaning.

“You look tired Mrs K. Maybe you need some more coffee.” said Bart pouring her more tainted coffee.

Then it was assembly time. Miss Hoover took her class in an orderly manner to assembly. Then third grade followed in an orderly manner.

But Mrs Krabappel drunkenly stumbled about the hall bashing into lockers and her pupils deliberately copied her.

“Whoooooaaa! Dizzy...” said the kids.


The assembly was to welcome foreign exchange students with a choir.

The kids were singing “I’ve been working on the railroad. All the live long day!”

Oscar causing mischief, instead of singing Dinah, won’t you blow your horn? sung Dinah won’t you blow your nose? You’ve been snorting all long day!

“Oscar! Stop improvising the lyrics!” Mr Largo told him off.

Then Mrs Krabappel drunk interrupted.

“Hey! You know why they call this a choir? Hic!” said Mrs Krabappel drunk. “Because choir we listening to this crap?!”

The teachers sensed something wasn’t right with Edna’s behaviour.

“Edna sit down!” Mr Largo yelled at her.

“Oh! These pantyhose are all twisted!” said Edna because her undergarments were uncomfortable.

“Edna please! Even the union can’t protect you from this!” said Mr Largo.

“Give me one night, Dewey! I’ll get you off Broadway!” Mrs Krabappel tried to seduce him.

“Never! Edna, let go!” Mr Largo yelled.

Mrs Krabappel rode about on a giant globe.

“Uh oh. I think we went too far...” said Bart.

“Nah. Booze only makes you want to do things you were gonna do anyway...” said Nelson.

“Look at me! I’m Queen of the world!” said Mrs Krabappel drunk as she rode about on a giant globe then crashed into something. “Oooooh my head...”

Jungledyret Hugo hmmmphed annoyed and climbed on the giant globe and balanced about on it giggling.

“Narrator what is it with you and Jungledyret Hugo...” Bart groaned.

Plot 2[]

Mrs Krabappel was hauled before the principal. Uh oh.

“Edna you made a right nanny goat of yourself yesterday.” said Skinner.

“Hehehehe! Nanny goat...” Oscar laughed.

She apologised and explained she doesn’t know what she was doing.

“Edna, teacher’s are never, ever supposed to be drunk at school, let alone bring in liquor... I’m sorry but even I can’t go easy on you, and not just because you’re my girlfriend... I’m sorry but... I’m going to have to let you go...” said Skinner.

Edna was upset.

“Oh Seymour! I think I’m gonna cry!” said Edna.

“Oh please don’t! Here have a handkerchief.” Skinner pulled out a long chain of colourful handkerchiefs. “Um, I’m still practicing my magic routine for the school talent show...”

“Seymour can I have a moment alone?” Edna asked.

“Of course.” Skinner spins around in his chair and was replaced by a white rabbit.

Mrs Krabappel looked baffled.


In the fourth grade classroom that morning that Edna was fired.

“Oh I didn’t mean to get her fired!” Bart whined.

Hugo growled and jabbered in a feral manner.

“I bet it was that hamster medicine I added that sent her over the edge.” Said Milhouse.

“Maybe I should tell Skinner it was-“ said Bart.

“Record scratch! I am Zachary Vaughn, I am your substitute teacher. I just graduated from Tuft university and this is my first class!” said Zach the young substitute teacher.

“Wow! A graduate from Tuft!” said Milhouse.

“But why am I talking when we can text!” said Zach.

He gave everyone back their phones and devices.

“Our phones!”

“Our blue teeth!”

“My tips calculator!”

They spent the class texting. Homework was to tweet on Twitter for half an hour.

“That text was well worth the twenty cents it cost to receive!” said Milhouse.


At home in the kitchen Bart discussed with Marge and Lisa what he did at school today.

“Then Zach Skyped us, live blogged our spelling bee and friended us all on Facebook.” said Bart.

“I thought you were studying the Lincoln-Douglas debates...” said Lisa.

“You mean the I Man/ D Dog flame wars...” said Bart.

“No! Using internet slang is not cool or funny! It’s cringe!” said Oscar.

“Yeah sure it is Oz...” said Bart.

“Hmmmmm, I’m glad you found an enriching substitute teacher Bart, but I am worried about poor Mrs Krabappel...” said Marge.

“Oh she’s alright. I heard on the four square court she’s doing fine...” said Bart.

“No one even plays four square anymore! They just gossip!” said Lisa.

”Teacher even allowed us to text all through physics. We were supposed to be learning about circuits!” Hugo groaned.

“Hey. Just because we don't understand electricity, doesn't mean we can't enjoy its benefits.” said Bart.

”Hrrrrrrmmmm...” Lisa was suspicious of Bart.


In class with Zach.

“Now who can tell me about the Monroe Doctrine?” said Zach.

“The policy of President Monroe that America has the right as a nation to...” said Martin.

“Wait, Wait, wait! Are you telling me you recited something someone could have looked up on the internet in seconds?!” said Zach. “Wake up out of the Stone Age Einstein... okay everyone look up the Monroe Doctrine. Bonus points for the funniest explanation of what it is. May I suggest Marilyn Monroe and Dr Marvin Monroe as starting points?”

Martin sighed. “I have filled my head with garbage!”

“Yes, yes you have.” said Zach.

Zach then found the smiley stickers. “What are these?” Zach asked.

“They’re smiley stickers. Mrs Krabappel puts them on our work when we do well.” said Milhouse.

“I run a paperless class room. You want smileys for good work? Okay!” said Zach.

Milhouse’s mobile bleeped. Smileys appeared as messages.

“Smileys! Awesome!” said Milhouse.

“Anyone want to return these caveman kudos to Mrs Krabappel?” Zach asked.

“I’ll do it. Her flat is sort of on my way home. I’ll check up on the old girl.” said Bart. “I hear she got a new job at some fancy-shmancy prep school.”

“Bart’s a teacher’s pet! Haw haw!” Nelson laughed.

”I am not!” Bart groaned as he got permission to leave school to hand the stickers to Mrs Krabappel at her apartment.


However Mrs Krabappel was unemployed at home watching Rodney Dangerfield movies.

She was watching Larry Burns at a prep school causing embarrassment.

“That’s just Rodney Dangerfield Narrator, not Larry Burns...” said Bart.

Mrs Krabappel’s door bell rings.

“Door’s broken.” said Mrs Krabappel in a state.

Bart came in.

“Mrs K are you alright?” Bart asked, concerned about her.

“Sure,” Mrs Krabappel coughed. “I’m fine.” She hacks and coughs. “I know it must be hard to see your teacher like this...”

Bart laughed hysterically.

Mrs Krabappel frowned at him.

“I’m sorry! It’s this movie! It’s so funny!” said Bart.

Larry Burns insulted yet another upperclass lady.

“Sir! This benefit is to increase our endowment!”

“Whoa! Duchess if your endowment gets any bigger we’ll all be in the shade!” said Larry Burns making a joke about her boobs.

Bart laughed. “Sorry, Sorry.” said Bart as Mrs Krabappel frowned at him.

Then they were in her kitchen. Mrs Krabappel was putting the smiley stickers on her bills.

“Thanks for bringing the smiley stickers round Bart. They really brighten up the place...” said Mrs Krabappel.

“Mrs K you really need to get outta here... when was the last time you wasted your hair...” Bart asked.

“Dunno, two weeks ago?” Mrs Krabappel replied.

“Oh. Well that’s better than me.” said Bart.

“Omg! Hugh-gy! Did you have a makeover?!” said Oscar thinking Bart was Hugo.

“No! It’s me Bart!” said Bart.

“I refuse to believe you’d only wash less than once a fortnight or that Marge would let you wash less than once a fortnight. You’re Hugo.” said Oscar.

“Well I am Bart. And yes I don’t wash regularly as surprising as it may seem.” said Bart.

“Really? I hardly notice the odour. Now Hugo on the other hand, peeeeeeyeeeeew!” said Oscar sniffing Bart.

“Probably because he eats fish heads all the time...” said Bart.

Bart turned to Mrs Krabappel. “Anyway you have got to get out...”

“What’s the point? I’ve got no money, I’ve got no job... no man wants me. Except Disco Stu.” said Mrs Krabappel.

“Disco Stu isn’t just about disco! He is also, Ha!” Disco Stu pulls out a crucifix. “A super Christian!”

A disco vampire dressed as an extra from Earth, Wind and fire hissed and backed away from Disco Stu.

Bart winced.


Homer was at Bart’s parents evening with his teachers.

“Okay there’s a big football game on tonight so can we sped this up? Show some of Bart’s art work... yada yada...” said Homer.

“Bart drew this today...” said the hippy art tutor that later on Bart gets pregnant with voodoo.

The picture was Homer strangling Bart with the message “My last birthday.”

“Grrrrr! It will be his last ever birthday if he keeps drawing things like that!” Homer growled under his breath.

“What was that?” The art teacher asked.

“Oh nothing, just talking to myself...” said Homer. “Anything else?”

“Yes, Oscar drew this comic to go with Bart’s picture.” said the art teacher.

The comic was Bart wearing a party hat falling down a well. Then in one panel he yells from the well, “Help! Samara wants to make out with me!”

Homer gave the fourth wall a side glance. “I’m sure this was another birthday narrator...”

Meanwhile Marge was at Hugo’s parent’s evening.

“As you can see Mrs Simpson. Hugo’s grades are outstanding! In a good way! Straight As throughout class!”

“Oooooooh!” Marge was proud of Hugo.

“However.” said the science teacher. Marge didn’t like that however. “His ethics and morals score worryingly low and in his debate about stem cells we did, He rudely shouted down students against stem cells because it was holding back science.”

Marge sighed. At least Lisa would try to be diplomatic...

Back at Homer, He was now seeing Bart and Hugo’s home room teacher. Zach. Strangely he had nothing but praise for Bart and Homer as a father.

“Relax Homer. Bart is a technology whiz... he has a wicked sense of humour... He’s a good kid...” said Zach.

“Really? Because that’s not what Mrs Crandle said!” Then Homer realised. “Oh god! I’ve been calling her Crandle! I’ve been making an idiot of myself!”

“Relax Mr Simpson. The point is Mrs Krabappel had no spark for teaching and no faith in Bart. That’s why you probably got a lot of negative feedback from her about him.

“Well any advice?” Homer asked.

“Yes. Just relax. You’re clearly a good parent.” said Zach.

Homer cried. “Your the first teacher to say that to me!” He sobbed and hugged Zach.


Bart for some reason was at a bistro/Coffee cafe with Milhouse. It was one served by Squeaky Voiced Teens.

“Here’s your two hot chocolates, with hot fudge boost!” said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

Bart sat down with Milhouse worrying about Mrs Krabappel.

However Milhouse liked the new teacher. “Look at this awesome video Zach sent us of the multiples of seven!” said Milhouse.

The video with the Flight of the Valkyries playing was Zach wearing more and more shirts for each multiple of seven up to 140. Which is twenty times seven.

“Where is Oscar...” Bart groaned ringing Oscar. “Oz where are you? We’ve already got our drinks!” Squeaky gibberish from Bart’s phone. “Oz if your in a bistro with hipsters your in the wrong one... you want the one staffed by Squeaky Voiced Teens...”

Milhouse was texting Lisa, she was clearly annoyed by his texts and sent angry messages back telling to take a hint! She wasn’t interested in him.

Eventually Oscar arrived.

“I got stuck in a Starbucks arguing over a hipster on what to call cookies. He kept saying they’re biscottis...” said Oscar.

“How about we get a self help book out?” said Milhouse.

“Yeah but not from here, there’s always a creepy guy in the easy chair reading...” said Bart.

Moe was in the easy chair reading.

“No! Can we go for creepier than poor Moe?!” said Oscar.

“Fine... how creepy? Ted Bundy Creepy?” said Bart.

“Jared Fogle Creepy.” said Oscar.

Bart screamed.

Moe vanished in a puff of smoke and was replaced with a creepy pedo reading the kids books and muttering pervertedly over them...

Bart winced.

Plot 3[]

A bistro worker couldn’t help but over hear their conversation when Milhouse asked “Where will we find books that will help a middle aged woman turn her life around?”

“I can help. What you boys are looking for is the Answer.” said the bistro lady who presumably works with Squeaky Voiced Teen.

”The Answer?” Bart and Milhouse gasped dramatically.

There was a Squeaky Voiced Teen working the till.

“On Mondays he works at a crepe stall in the mall,” said Oscar.

“What’s the Answer?” said Bart.

“Only the best book ever written! After the bible that is!” said the bistro worker.

She put on a DVD. It was narrated by an Australian woman with a bad accent about her finding the Answer. It was some cryptic The Librarians/Da Vinci Code crap involving conspiracy theories throughout time involving the Knights Templar and Charlemagne... and other big historical figures like King Arthur.

Knights put a scroll in a bottle and buried it somewhere discreet.

Then it spoke about how the Answer Scroll now lies within the property of Pat Sajak. Who is evil in this episode for some reason.

Then it listed several famous people involved in this artefact. St Peter, who guards the gates of Heaven, Thomas Edison, Jack the Ripper, Colonel Sanders! XD! Barry Bonds, the guy who married Brook Shields and Santa Claus!

“I get the feeling we’re going on a convoluted quest Milhouse...” said Bart.

“We don’t have time in the episode to do a convoluted quest though?!” said Milhouse.

“Yeah I know...” said Bart.

Oscar frowned.

”Oz we’re not going on an adventure to get a novel!” Bart groaned.


Unfortunately they did not go on a convoluted The Da Vinci Code/Assassins Creed conspiracy theory quest invoking St Peter, Jack the Ripper etc.

“Ooooooh...” Oscar whined.

Or the circus.

”Oooooooooh!” Oscar groaned.

Instead they bought the Answer book from a book store and Bart showed it to Mrs Krabappel.

She thought it was one of those phoney baloney self help guides. Bart was insistent it would help.

“I’m starting to sound like a right fool believing in this book if it is a self help book...” said Bart.

Then the book suggested wishes and wish able actions To get to ones goals. Mrs Krabappel wanted to run a muffin store. Sadly those wishes and wish able actions did not involve fairy god parents and Timmy Turner.

Bart winced as Timmy Turner had a rule free wish muffin.

Oscar started singing “oh did you know the muffin man! The muffin men! The muffin man...”

“Just ignore him Mrs K. He’ll shut up in a minute.” said Bart.

Then Mrs Krabappel got her muffin store.

“Thanks Bart. It was a lot of hard work but I got my muffin store...” said Mrs Krabappel. “And I see you made a wish too.”

“Uh this? Oh it’s nothing...” said Bart finding a piece of paper in his back pocket of his shorts.

“Oh I see. Well I have customers! Thanks again Bart.” said Mrs Krabappel.

Ned came in as a customer.

Matt can you not ship them!

Bart once the coast is clear read his index card wish. It said “Have Gamma vision.” Coooool!

Bart squinted and glared at a fuel pump. Red lasers shot out of his eyes and he blew it up! Cooooool!


Meanwhile Oscar wanted to go on a bizarre conspiracy theory quest to get the Answer scroll from Pat Sajak and meet famous people like Saint Peter and Santa Claus and Colonel Sanders...

While Bart was outside the muffin store Oscar was flying in Santa’s Sleigh while singing Jingle bells!

“Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the way!” Oscar sung.

Bart face palmed.

Then Oscar has to go to heaven to find Saint Peter. Nineteenth century England at night to find Jack the Ripper, who for the sake of coolness was voiced by Maurice Lamarche. Jack the Ripper was murdering prostitutes.

“Okay... we don’t need him...” said Oscar as his super team teleported elsewhere.

Then Oscar and the big historical and legendary figures went to KFC to find Colonel Sanders. And eat some fried chicken. Mmmmmm fried chicken.

At school fourth grade were singing a goodbye song to their pen pals. It was to the tune of I’ve been working on the railroad.

You'll be going back to Denmark,

Spain and Uruguay.

And we promise that we'll write to you.

But you know that that's a lie.

I've been working on the railroad

All the livelong day

I've been working on the railroad

Just to pass the time away