Bart Carny At a carnival Bart causes an accident trying to drive Hitler's car and has to work off the damage he caused. He then befriends some Carnies however after Homer loses their stall and livelihood he tries to make amends by letting them stay at the Simpsons homestead. However Cooder and Spud trick them out of their home!!
Marge is trying to get the dog to go outside to go to the toilet. Oscar is with her trying to shove Teddy, his living teddy bear creature outside.
(Teddy growling like a chihuahua.)
“Come on. You have to go outside to do your... business.” said Marge to the dog.
“Yeah Teddy. You have to crap outside.” said Oscar.
”Oz!” Marge told him off.
Homer arrived to say something.
“The experts say that if you want an animal to do something... you should do it yourself first to show 'em how.” said Homer reading while wearing his Dumbledore glasses.
“I'm not going to the bathroom in the backyard.” Marge yelled.
[Scoffs] “Sorry, Your Majesty.” Homer scoffed.
“Why don't you wanna go out there?” Marge asked the dog. Outside the grass was overgrown and there were velociraptors hiding in it, “Yech. The kids are supposed to be keeping this yard clean.”
She went outside muttering as she picked up stuff that was hidden amongst the grass. Including a tennis racket and a soccer ball with pentagons on it. The kind Oscar squeals at.
Marge picked up a live rattle snake. It hissed. “Nyaaaaaaagh!” She threw into Ned’s house.
”Ow!” Ned cried.
”Oh I’m sorry Ned!” Marge apologised.
”Okilly dokilly!” said Ned.
Ned groaned as it had bit him and he had been poisoned.
Bart and Lisa were watching TV. Marge was annoyed because they had been doing this all day! And the garden was overgrown with weeds.
“Turn on the TV, Lise.” Bart groaned in an upside down position on the couch.
“You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday.” Lisa was being uncharacteristically lazy.
Hugo rolled his eyes as he read a book.
Marge came in glaring.
"Hmmmm! If you want any favours today like money for the shops you better go out in the yard and help out!" Marge nagged.
”Well it’s allowance day anyway. Ding ding ding ding!” said Bart imitating a bell.
”You don’t deserve an allowance!” Marge said annoyed over the backyard.
”Sure we do! Ding ding ding ding!” said Lisa ringing a tiny bell.
“Ice cream man! Ice cream man!” Homer yelled and ran outside.
”No money until you go out and tidy up the lawn...” said Marge.
Bart and Lisa sighed and went to get changed into their gardening outfits.
Later they were dressed like um... idiots...
"Mom! Why did you buy us these outfits?!" Bart asked.
"Just get your butts outside!" Marge replied.
Bart opened the back door of the rear lounge. Nelson's laugh could be heard.
Bart slammed the door shut.
Marge frowned at him to show she was serious. That was her "Go on!" face.
Bart sighed and opened the door.
"Ha!" came the rest of Nelson's laugh.
Bart and Lisa were pulling up weeds when things got worse. Oscar went outside and saw them in their outfits...
"Coooool! Bill and Ben! Flowerpot men!" Oscar thought they looked like Bill and Ben. Or Fifi and the flowerpots.
"That's it! Let's go inside!" Bart ranted.
Lisa agreed and they went inside.
Marge was annoyed to find they had given up their chore.
"Fine! No money for treats!" Marge nagged.
Milhouse had news. Bart answered the door to find out from him that there was a carnival in town.
Unfortunately tickets for the carnival cost dough...
"Well looks like you two need money!" Marge said Smugly.
However Homer rushed in past Milhouse. "Kids! The carnival is in town! Here's fifty dollars each! Get in the car!" He gave Bart and Lisa money and took them out with him.
"Hmmmmmmm!" Marge grumbled angrily.
”Oh I know that look. Run kids!” Homer yelled.
”Homer don’t undermine me!” Marge yelled as a Homer and the kids fled.
”Now who will clean up the yard?!” Marge sighed looking out at the over grown yard.
“Man, look at all this stuff. "Pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business." There's gotta be a way out of this.” Marge sighed.
[Gasps] “James, chop off my hands.” Marge said to her brother from Erik’s continuity.
”No Marge! That’s ridiculous!” said James.
”Fine. I suppose I’ll go to the carnival with Homer and the kids...” Marge sighed.
At the carnival.
“Ooh! Ooh! I wanna see Lobster Boy and Shrimp Girl!” said Homer skipping about like an excited child.
”Dad I’m allergic to crustaceans.” said Bart.
“I want some fried sugar!” said Lisa.
“I want some fried fish!” said Hugo.
”You’ll get nothing and like it!” Homer yelled at him.
“I wanna go on the Yard Work Simulator!” Bart pointed to a yard work simulator with virtual reality helmets.
“But when I ask you to do yard work- Oh.” Marge sighed.
Bart and Lisa went on a crap ghost train that was rubbish and not even scary. One of the ghouls was missing, a man was changing one of the lights.
"Boo!" said the man, And there was an old lady in the ride as an exhibit/spooky bit.
"Behold the ravages of time!" said the old lady.
Homer went on a rollercoaster called the tooth chipper because of its badly placed safety bar and habit of suddenly stopping so riders would unfortunately chip their teeth on the safety bar.
Marge tried to warn him that his bad heart meant it wasn't safe for him to go on it. However he insisted.
He hurt his tooth along with other riders.
At the water pistol game where you squirt water into the clown mouths to inflate balloons.
Krusty foolishly stood by them and got squirted.
[Sputtering] “Why does this always happen when I stand here? What is it about this exact spot?” He got a mouthful of water. [Sputtering] “It's happening again!”
Then Bart and Homer tried out the stalls. They met two carnies called Cooder and his son Spud who were running a ring toss game. However it was rigged...
Cooder felt sorry for Homer though and gave him a consultation prize, a giant novelty comb. Spud was um looking smugly at the fourth wall..
Homer was touched. "You really are king of carnies!" said Homer.
However Bart remembered he was the naughty kid of the family and wanted to cause trouble when he saw Hitler's car as part of an exhibit.
He got in and started pretending to drive it an made noises.
"Bart! Get out of Hitler's car!" Homer yelled.
"What is it with him and cars belonging to history's worst monsters?! Remember when he was mucking about in Bonnie and Clyde's death car?" Oscar remarked.
“And there was that time he was riding the Spirit of St Louis.” said Homer.
"Where's the bazooka?" Bart asked. He pushed down the handbrake. "Oops!"
The car rolled off the display.
"Great geysers!" yelled the Rich Texan.
The car ran over a strong man's foot.
"Ow! My foot!" said the man.
There was the fortune teller from Lisa’s wedding telling Skinner his fortune.
“I sense that... You are in grave danger!” She gasps and they dive out of the way of Hitler’s car as it drives through the tent smashing it up.
“Get ready for one heck of a gypsy hex, Homer...” Oscar groaned.
Then the car crashed into a display.
The Rich Texan was very cross with Bart. He demanded he work off the mess he caused.
Nelson punched Bart. "What did Hitler ever do to you?!"
Jurkle punched Nelson. "He murdered my great grandparents!" Jurkle had been hitting the gym as he had big muscles.
“Wow! Jurkle! You’re ripped!” said Oscar.
“Thanks! I’ve been working out...” said Jurkle showing off his muscles.
Bart was made to pay off the wreckage he caused to the displays and Hitler’s car. By working as a carny.
“I curse you with misery upon all those that you love!” said the fortune teller to Homer.
Marge was cross with Bart. But also Homer in a way.
”Bartholomew! Why do you always get yourself into trouble?!”
Bart winced at him.
”And Homer!” Marge said sharply to Homer.
”Whaaaa?” Homer whined.
”Bart does need to be punished. But not by working at this carnival. I’m sorry Mr Texan Guy.” said Marge to Rich Texan.
”Well I demand that he pay off the damage your boy caused by working for me!” said Rich Texan.
Marge sighed. That was that.
”Mom please! I’m just a widdle Dickens! I can’t stay out all night working for some seedy Carny! No offence dude.” said Bart.
”None taken Pardner! But you will work off your hooliganism!” said a Rich Texan.
Despite Bart’s protests and crying. He was left at the carnival to work off the damage he caused with Hitler’s car.
The Simpsons got in tired from the carnival. Oscar and Hugo were tired but happy and joyful. Marge, Lisa and Homer were mortified by Bart’s shenanigans.
”I still don’t think we should have left a Bart with that man! I would have settled for spanking him and sending him to his room.” said Marge.
”Now Marge, a little hard labour might mould him into something better.” said Homer.
Bart's first task was to muck out a tiny horse.
There was a giant pile of horse dung in the stable.
"Ugh! If you didn't poop so much maybe you wouldn't be so small!" said Bart to the tiny horse as he cleaned up after it.
Greek Hero Oscar as Heracles was whistling as he cleaned up the dung.
However it maybe tiny but it had one hell of a kick and kicked Bart flying into the giant pile of dung where he landed with a splat.
"Eeeeeew!" Spud groaned.
After a bath Bart joined some guy on the freak show. They had to hold a chicken in each of their mouths by its head.
Bart winced. “I’d rather fry some cheese. Or make cotton candy...”
”Well you have to do as I say!” Rich Texan explained.
”Kids! I have a surprise!” said Marge.
The kids ran downstairs.
Close your eyes and hold out your hands.” said Marge smugly.
The kids did so.
”Now open them.” said Marge.
Lisa, Hugo and Oscar winced as they were holding gardening tools. Ie sheers, hand shovels and hand forks.
”You didn’t think you could escape doing chores did you?” Marge said smugly.
The kids groaned as they went outside.
“Man, look at all this stuff. "Pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business." There's gotta be a way out of this.” Oscar groaned. [Gasps] He has a silly idea. “Lisa, chop off my hands.“
“No! Then who'd chop off my hands?” Lisa whined.
“All right, you chop my hands halfway off, then I'll still have enough strength to chop- “ said Oscar.
”Get to work!“ Marge yelled out the window.
”Kids, I made some lemonade for you.” Marge made lemonade for the kids.
“Sounds great.” said Hugo from inside.
“Bring it in here.” said Lisa lying on the couch.
[Groans] “What the- What are you doing inside?” Marge was annoyed.
“Work was hard, so we quit.” Hugo groaned sleeping.
“What?” Marge gasped.
“Hard work made us quit.” Lisa sighed being lazy.
“I see. Well, then, no chores, no allowance. And no lemonade.” said Marge.
“Okay. We get our room and board free anyway.” said Hugo.
“And Santy Claus provides the rest.“ said Oscar being babyish.
Marge cooed. “Oooooh! That’s adorable!”
Hugo winced at Oscar’s childish fascination with Santa.
Bart was sad as he spent the night at the carnival.
Luckily for him Spud and Cooter helped him settle in.
”No candy floss until you eat your caramel apple.” Cooter said to Spud.
”I have a Dad too. But he left me here to work off the trouble I caused with Hitler’s car.” said Bart. “Don’t worry I’m not here for my money back... I’m a Carny now, just like you guys.
”Well settle down. Spud get this kid a caramel apple.” said Cooter to his son.
There was a barrel of Apples on sticks swimming in some unpleasant gunk that was supposed to be caramel.
”Thanks.” said Bart.
Hugo and Lisa sat watching cartoons glumly as Marge was adamant they’d get no treats until they tidied the yard.
An ice cream van jingled.
They gasped excited.
”Ice Cream Man! Ice cream Man!” Oscar yelled and ran outside.
”No no no!” Marge chased after him and caught him as he was about to run into the road.
”Oh someone’s eager!” Homer chuckled.
”Homer, remember all the medical information Oscar’s GP sent us when he moved in? He is extremely vulnerable and unaware of roads and incoming traffic!” said Marge holding a squirming Oscar.
”Oh.” said Homer.
”Anyway. You need to check up on Bart.” said Marge.
Oscar squirmed and waved at the ice cream van across the street.
Homer drove to the carnival to check on Bart.
”Has my boy worked off his debt yet?” Homer asked.
”No. but he’d work it off faster with a partner.” said Rich Texan.
”Fine. Where do you need me.
Rich Texan had them hold chickens in their mouths by their heads.
However the Rich Texan suddenly needed someone to Man an injured carny's store and had chosen Cooder and Spud so Bart and Homer had to run their stall instead.
Cooder explained the money jar but Homer wasn't listening.
"I'll let you handle this..." he gave the box to Bart.
Spud explained the carny lingo they use to lure in customers.
"Oh, like flattering people." Bart replied. "And customers are rubes, right?"
"Yeah. You're learning fast!" said Spud.
They looked for vulnerable customers that were easy to swindle.
"How about that guy?" Homer asked. There was a 50s guy flipping a coin and chewing a cocktail stick.
"No....!" Bart groaned. "Hey look! Principal Skinner and his mom!"
Bart and Homer lured them over.
"Hmmmm! I figured you'd behind such a charade, Simpson!" said Skinner.
Bart flattered Agnes by complimenting her looks.
”What can we get you beautiful?” Bart charmed Agnes,
"OooooH!" Agnes laughed. "Seymour! Get me that phone! The one that looks like a lady!"
Skinner played the ring toss game but lost.
"You're failing Seymour! What is it with you and failure?" Agnes ranted.
Seymour aimed his last ring at a Bowie knife but failed to get it. They went off disappointed.
”Fine. If you want something doing. You might as well do it yourself...” She sighed. She got to work cleaning the yard.
Oscar decided to be a baby. He was only wearing his diaper when he came out into the yard.
”Um sweetie. Everyone can see you in your diaper.” said Marge.
”So? I’m not embarrassed at wearing a diaper.” said Oscar.
”Haw Haw!” Nelson laughed from somewhere.
”Well, I found a rattlesnake in the lawn Bumpkin, so stay on the porch.” said Marge to the overgrown baby. Oscar’s nine... and he wears diapers...
Marge tidied up stuff that was in the long grass. Including another soccer ball with pentagons on it.
”Haaaaaaaw! Spotty!” Oscar squealed.
Marge smiled. He was a cute kid. Despite his moments...
At the carnival
However Wiggum had got word the game was rigged. However he wanted a bribe to turn a blind eye to the game. He even gave obvious hints he wanted a bribe.
"Dad! I think-" Bart asked.
"Shhh. Daddy and the policeman are talking." Homer said to Bart.
Wiggum continued to give hints.
"This is a ring toss game!" said Homer.
"Right that's it!" Wiggum shut the stall down and confiscated it.
Cooder and Spud arrived back to find their livelihood gone and annoyed with Homer.
“Why didn’t you bribe him?!” Cooter groaned.
”I was working up to it...” Homer whined.
"Why don't you live in the whack-a-mole game?" Homer asked.
"Captain fantastic lives there..." Spud explained.
"What's that, skipper?" asked an old war pilot. Nelson whacked him on the head.
"I know! Starting tomorrow you can live with us! After all, that's what carnies do! Look out for each other!" said Homer.
"Not to mention you cost them their home, lard butt." Bart replied.
"Bart!" Homer yelled.
"Well that's mighty generous of you!" said Cooder.
Marge was doing the yard when Hugo and Lisa came out excited by something they saw.
”We saw the most amazing camel!” It was wearing a hat!” said Lisa.
”Uh huh... well since you’re eyes are obviously still working... you’ll notice I’m cleaning up the yard all alone!” said Marge annoyed.
”Why isn’t Oscar helping?” Hugo asked.
Oscar was in the long grass.
He was imagining he was in a jungle wearing just a diaper.
”I see. Oz careful. There might be wild Pokémon in the long grass!” said Hugo.
Oscar screamed as he was attacked by Rattatas from Pokemon.
The next morning Cooder got Bart and Homer up for work. He shared some of his slurry drink with them. Yeeeeuck!
"Spud, eat your candy apple or no hotdog for you." Cooder said to Spud as they ate breakfast.
"Aw shucks..." Spud sighed.
"Alright you two, as soon as The Rich Texan guy lets us go I'll drive us home." said Homer.
He drove them home and explained everything to Marge.
"Hmmmmm! You know I'm still mad about you and Bart staying over at that carnival! He even missed school!" Marge grumbled.
However Cooder and Spud were there to stay.
At dinner they showed off all their tricks. Cooder could push a lit cigarette into his orifices. He would finish with pulling it out of his butt.
"The only problem is I won't be able to do that after a while." said Cooder.
Spud then showed his party trick. He could dislocate all his joints at once.
"Hey beautiful!" He said to Lisa with dislocated joints.
"Eeeeeew!" Lisa groaned.
Oscar kept comparing Spud's quiff with Quiffy's. And thought Spud's braid was a Jedi padawan braid.
“I am not a Jedi Padawan! My dad is just cool and let me braid my hair!” said Spud.
Marge and Homer sighed disappointed in Cooter for being so relaxed with his son.
Homer then showed the carnies his ass groove in the couch.
However when they came home from the shops, the Simpsons found they were locked out!
Cooder and Spud laughed at them and revealed they had intentionally locked them out.
"Never trust a carny! Hahahaha!" Cooder taunted.
That night the Simpsons had to live in Bart's Treehouse.
In the Simpsons house, Cooder was trying out Homer's white shirts. "Look at me! I'm a rich bloke!"
Spud complimented him.
Then outside from the Simpsons point of view they could see the carnies were doing.
"Ugh! One of them is playing on my saxophone!" Lisa groaned. "Use the spit valve! The spit valve!"
"Over the sink! Over the sink!" Marge yelled. Cooder was doing something in the bathroom presumably.
The next day the Simpsons came up with a plan to get the house back.
Homer offered that if he could toss a ring onto his chimney the carnies had to give the house back.
"But Dad!" Lisa protested.
"Shhh. Daddy and the carnies are negotiating." said Homer.
However Homer knew they had left the door open. Pretending to be preparing to throw the ring he suddenly yelled and his family ran in with him and they shut themselves in the house.
They laughed at Cooder and Spud.
"They tricked us!" Spud groaned. "So that's what it feels like..."
Homer felt sorry for the carnies.
"Let's let them stay..." said Homer.
"Get him away from there..." Marge sighed. The kids dragged Homer away from the front window.
Homer then saw his ass groove in the couch was ruined.
"Aaaaaaawww!" Homer groaned. "Kids, get me a six pack. It's gonna take all night to get me ass groove back." He then dances about trying to get an imprint in the couch from his butt.