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Bart's Play Day Bart has Milhouse over for a play day. Childish antics occur. Then Homer sees an alien!

Plot

Leonard Nimoy narrates. Tonight features a shocking but true tale about aliens. And by true I mean false. It’s all lies actually but in the end isn’t that what’s so entertaining about fantasy?”

”Uh no Mr Nimoy,..” said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

”Oy my god! It’s Spock!” said Oscar as a Trekkie. He is dressed as Scotty.

”Ugh... fanboys...” Leonard Nimoy sighed.

”Anyway, this, isthestory, of, how, one, night, Homer, discoversanalien. And....” said William Shatner.

”William Shatner stop using up all the commas!“ Leonard Nimoy yelled.

”Ach! I cannae change the laws of physics Captain!” said Scotty.

”Damn it Jim! I’m a Doctor! Not a story teller!” Dr Bones McCoy yelled.

”Ooooooooohhhh! Oh my!” said Mr Sulu gayly.

”Why is Uhura black? Because William Shat on ‘er! Hahahahaha!” Oscar told a racist joke.

”Hello, I’m Ricardo Montalban.” said Ricardo Montalban.

”KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” William Shatner screamed.

”Beam me up Scotty!” Oscar and his friend Sean from remedial school yelled.

”I cannae operate the transporter beams from here!” said Scotty.

...

One Friday morning at work. Homer thinks it’s home time.

”Well I’m off to Moe’s.” said Homer.

”But it’s ten in the morning!” said Carl.

”Don’t worry I have a plan...” said Homer. It involved hacking the security cameras to broadcast old footage from the eighties of Young Homer, Carl and Lenny working on loop.

”Smithers, is it disco Friday already?!” Mr Burns asked.

”Um no sir. Some pinheads in Sector 7 G have hacked the security cameras to show archived footage of themselves to get out of work or to sleep on the job...” Smithers replied frowning.

”By Lucifer’s beard! Find out who! And punish them to the Nth degree!” Mr Burns yelled.

”With pleasure sir...” said Smithers evilly.

...

Milhouse rings the doorbell to the Simpsons house, however Homer swings the door open knocking him out.

"Bart... Your weird friend is here..."

Eventually Milhouse regains consciousness and goes upstairs to see Bart.

However Bart is trying to pull his Krusty doll out of Hugo’s mouth.

”Hugo let go! That’s not yours!” Bart grunted as he pulled on the doll.

Hugo growled.

Milhouse winced. “Have I came at a bad time?”

”No, not at all Milhouse!” said Bart pulling on his doll Hugo would not let go of.

They play Bonestorm for a bit.

"Hrrrrm, don't stay on that all day, it's not good for your eyes..." Marge sighed.

"Ok, what shall we do today?" Bart suggested an alternate activity.

"Play monopoly?" Milhouse suggested.

"Nah." said Bart. "Oscar drew a monocle on Uncle Pennybags' eye because he insists that's what it is supposed to look like before Nelson Mandela caused a rift in time that changed everything."

”Naked basketball!” Milhouse insisted.

”No!” Bart refused.

"I know! Dress up as robots with the kitchen utensils!" Oscar suggested.

"Oz... Only preschoolers do that..." Bart rolled his eyes. "Ok, but with foam dart guns."

...

Marge heard a cacophony from the kitchen as Oscar dressed himself up in kitchen utensil armour with a salad colander on his head. Bart was also dressed in it.

"Hrrrrmm, Aren't you two a bit old to be playing with my kitchen equipment..." Marge groaned. Eventually she had to stop their activity because it involved running about the house shooting foam darts at each other. "Now find something quiet to do..." Marge took back all of her kitchen utensils.

The boys sighed and went upstairs to find something else to play. They ended up playing with Bart's connect-o-sticks to build a rollercoaster. However Bart and Milhouse started bickering over who got to start the first lap around the rollercoaster. It descended into a brawl with Bart stuffing a safety barrier into Milhouse's mouth and trying to choke him with a wrestling move.

“Now, I, Bart Simpson, shall send the first coaster down the track.” said Bart putting the car on the connect o sticks rollercoaster.

”Hmm.” Milhouse decides he wants the first go.

He dreams of his fifth birthday. He was about to blow out the candles but little Bart blew them out.

He then dreams of seeing Santa at the mall.

(Milhouse grunts) But Five year old Bart yanks him off of Santa’s lap and sits on Santa’s lap.

(gasping) Then Milhouse was sick in hospital and breathing oxygen from a tank. Bart took his mask and breathed his oxygen. Milhouse choked.

He blocked the car from going along the rollercoaster. “No, for once, I want to go first.”

“But, Milhouse, I already let you push me on the swings.” said Bart.

”And it's an honor, but I'm doing this.“ said Milhouse taking the rollercoaster car.

They bicker and grunt fighting over the rollercoaster and train car.

”Ow! Knock it off, Milhouse!” Bart whined. (grunting) (yells) They’re fighting. “Eat safety bar!” He shoved the safety bar in Milhouse’s mouth.

"Why are we friends..." Milhouse groaned.

"Because our seats were next to each other!" Bart retorts. The play set model rollercoaster collapsed into pieces. Bart, Oscar and Milhouse's only response was to start crying, like preschoolers.

"Hrrrm... Looks like this play day went south quickly..." Marge sighed.

Homer texted Kirk. "Pick up weird kid, now." He typed into his text message app on his phone.

Milhouse had an allergic reaction and looked gross.

”Milhouse did you eat a peanut?” Bart asked.

”No I sniffed a nectarine.” said Milhouse.

”Mmmmmmm! Mutant peach...” said Hugo.

”It’s okay I can still breath through my tear duct. His tear duct whistled. “Tell me if this gets annoying...”

(Whistling)

”It’s annoying...” said Homer.

Outside the Simpsons house.

”Oooooooh! Why did I eat so much mac and cheese?! I’m not supposed to! Now I’m gonna be sick!” Milhouse cried. A piece of macaroni came out of his nose.

”Eeeeeeeew!” said Homer.

Homer was disgusted and annoyed. “That stupid Kirk better hurry up and pick up his stupid kid or I’m dumping Milhouse in the bin.”

”Unfortunately that’s not possible because Oscar the Grouch has moved into your bin. Or Top Cat or I dumped some Clownjas in there.” said Oscar.

Eventually because I suddenly realised this is footage from the episode YOLO Kirk turned up in a white sports car with the number plate YOLO.

However unlike in the later episode, Kirk isn’t having a midlife crisis. He got the sports car because his new girlfriend is rich. During this season Mr and Mrs Van Houten have divorced.

”Wow nice car Dad!” said Milhouse.

”Mil, your dad is just trying to make your mom jealous...” Bart sighed.

Luanne who was there for some reason with Pyro, glared at Kirk.

“Hey, guys!” said Kirk wearing sunglasses. “Who wants a whiff of New Kirk Smell?”

Oscar’s living teddy bear creature, Teddy sniffed with his big wet shiny black nose.

”No Teddy!” Oscar pulled him back. His teddy bear creature wriggled about in his arms sniffing frantically.

Bart winced.

...

The next day on the school bus, Milhouse refused to speak to Bart and wouldn't invite him to his birthday party. Bart begged Milhouse to forgive him, but he wouldn't.

“Milhoooooouuuuuse!” Bart cried.

...

Bart spent too much time mooching about the house depressed. So Marge went to see Luanne. They apparently first met when Bart and Milhouse had to go to hospital because they tried to drink paint. Unknown to them Oscar is in a bush recording this little fact.

Marge and Luanne agree to coax their boys to make up.

Bart is taken to Milhouse's. They're shown embarrassing photos of themselves playing together since kindergarten. Including a scene where Bart accidentally nearly sawed Milhouse in half for a magic trick. The next picture was Milhouse in hospital with stitches and Bart visiting him.

Bart and Milhouse agree to make up.

"Let's never fight again..." Bart and Milhouse hug.

"Paint drinkers..." Oscar remarked with a smirk.

"Oscar! We were only four, I bet you've tried to eat or drink things you shouldn't have..." Bart sighed.

"Yeah, when I was a baby! And my teddy bear Teddy would stop me!" Oscar retorted.

...

One evening Homer got lost coming home from Moe's. He wandered the forest and saw a shadowy figure blundering about. He gasped. However it was just his dad.

"Oh there you are my boy! I got lost in the forest and-"

"No time for you old man! Gotta get home before the wolves get me!" Homer pushed past him rudely.

Homer then found a sign that said "DIE" he screamed. However wind blew the branches of a tree aside revealing the sign actually read "DIET" Homer screamed louder.

He then stumbled into a clearing. He saw an eerie green glow. The glow took the form of an alien!

The alien spoke. "Hello!"

Homer screamed and ran about through the long grass leaving the word Yaaaaaaaagh! in trampled grass. He had to jump to make the dot under the exclamation mark.

Homer ran home. When asked why he so out of breath and frightened he tried to explain he saw an alien.

"Yeah sure you did, Rummy..." said Bart who could smell alcohol on him.

"Hmmmmm! Maybe you should get to bed... You've been out late drinking again Homie..." said Marge.

Homer was annoyed no one believed him.

...

At another play date, Milhouse got an allergic reaction from macaroni cheese and his face swelled up and got hives. Homer was grossed out by Milhouse's appearance.

"Hrrrm... I remember all of Bart's allergies..." Marge reminisced.

"Name them." Bart challenged her.

"Shrimp, Butterscotch, imitation butterscotch and glow in the dark green monster face paint." Marge explained. "That was one Halloween..."

"Ah, touché." Bart remarked as she had got all of his allergies right. He remembered that Halloween all too well as he developed a nasty rash and couldn't go trick or treating.

...

Later Bart and Milhouse are drawing. Bart draws himself wearing pots and pans armour as a laser eyed robot with eye lasers.

Then while Homer (during the events of The Springfield Files) is discussing an alien encounter he had, Bart pranks him by dressing up as Bartron, an alien from Uranus. (Your anus) He's wearing a bicycle helmet with antennae, an armoured vest and silly spring eye glasses while holding his foam dart gun.

"I am Bartron! From Your anus!" Bart jumps out at Homer.

Homer screams then realises it's just Bart. "Bart! Go and play with your weird friend elsewhere!" Homer yells.

"Homer!" Marge tells him off for being rude about Milhouse.

Bart and Milhouse tried to find something to do. They decided to resort to playing Monopoly with Maggie.

However Bart cheated by shuffling through the community chest cards until he found one he liked. "Ah ha! I won first price in a beauty contest! Everyone give me two hundred monopoly dollars."

"Yeah like you'd really win a beauty contest..." said Oscar.

Bart pulled a really ugly face at him. (He was biting his upper lip with his lower set of teeth and had unhinged his jaw like when he was pulling faces at Martin in Bart the Genius.

Eventually Maggie was losing.

"Ha! I'm winning! And you're losing!" Bart taunted.

Maggie coughed up a hotel.

"Bart! Don't feed your sister hotels!" Marge told him off for letting Maggie eat the hotels.

"I didn't feed her! It's not my fault if she helps herself to them." said Bart.

"Hmmmm! That game is way too old for her. I don't even think she knows how to play." said Marge.

"Hey who bit the Strand property card..." Oscar asked annoyed as someone bit part of it.

Ace looked around trying to be nonchalant.

Plot 2

One evening Homer was telling Moe about his encounter. Suddenly Muelder and Scully were in the tavern. When Scully confirmed they were the FBI Moe had to suddenly go round back.

In the back storage room some men were squirting Free Willy with hoses.

"Okay the Feds are onto us! Get rid of him!" said Moe.

Free Willy the orca groaned.

Mulder offered to help Homer with his alien.

However in the forest clearing where he saw the alien they just found Abe chasing a tortoise that had stolen his false teeth.

"Ow! It bit me with my own teeth!" said Abe.

"This is so embarrassing..." Said Mulder.

"More embarrassing then that time with the flesh eating virus and John Wayne?" Scully asked.

"Uh... No." said Mulder.

Homer was annoyed no one believed him still and he was humiliated in front of Mulder and Scully by his Dad.

"I believe you Dad." said Bart.

"Really?" Homer asked.

"Why sure! I did take out a book on aliens and conspiracy theories!" said Bart.

"Whatever happened to your wacky treehouse club?" said Homer.

"Ralph spoiled our list of conspiracy theories about all the grownups acting weird from your love potion by revealing what they were doing." said Bart. "We had got to three crazy theories before he said the three lettered word."

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

...

Homer took Bart out late one night to find the alien. They were in the clearing where he saw the alien. Bart was recording everything with a video camera.

"Bart looooook" said Homer. The alien appeared.

"I bring you love!" said the alien.

"Why that's adorable! And- Yaaaaaagh! Sonnuva-!" Homer was bitten by a tortoise with false teeth and started swearing. The alien ran away.

"Awww! You scared the alien..." Bart sighed.

"You did record it though?" Homer asked.

Their recording was shoddy and the camera was scrambled.

"Yeah that looks really convincing Dad..." said Lisa.

However it was very convincing as hundreds flocked to the Simpsons house wanting to help Homer catch the alien.

"What's so hard to believe? We get aliens every Halloween!" said Lenny.

Kang and Kodos were in the background crossing their tentacles and huffing with annoyance.

...

Mulder and Scully took Homer in for questioning and to help him with his alien after being convinced by the shoddy footage.

They put him on a lie detector machine.

"Mr Simpson this machine will detect if you're lying to us. Do you understand?" said Mulder.

"Yes." said Homer. The lie detector exploded.

Then he was asked to identify the alien from a group of aliens. They were: Kang, Alf, Chewbacca, Klatuu's robot, ET and Marvin the Martian.

"Well none of these are the alien!" said Homer. "This reminds me of the time I had to ID Krusty after he got arrested for robbing the Kwik e mart.

There was a flashback to where Homer had to ID the clown robbing the kwik e mart. However he kept laughing at the clowns which annoyed Chief Wiggum.

Eventually the aliens were dismissed. They were annoyed.

“This makes me very, very angry indeed!” said Marvin the Martian.

Meanwhile Bart was playing with a lie detector.

“Lisa is a geek! Lisa is a geek.,” he repeated as the lie detector printed out its results.

“Bart!” Lisa yelled.

“He’s telling the truth!” said Scully reading the results of the lie detector.

Lisa grumbled annoyed.

Then a turtle with Grampa’s false teeth caused embarrassment.

They all went out to where Homer swore he saw the alien.

”Gee this is worse than that time we encountered a flesh eating virus...” said Mulder.

”Or that time you two found a dead guy painted blue...” said Oscar.

”Or the trees with faces.” said Hugo.

”This is definitely worse...” said Scully.

”Come back with my teeth you thieving turtle! Ow! Oh it bit me with my own teeth! Oh!” said Grampa.

”Oz I’m sure you already did this scene...” said Bart.

”Okay well I’ll reminisce of that time Paul Lynde had the death sentence on twelve planetary systems...“ said Oscar.

Paul Lynde was Cornelius Evazan and Larry Burns was Luke Skywalker.

Ponda Baba tapped Larry.

”He doesn’t like you.” said Paul Lynde in a camp manner.

“Oh gee! I’m sorry! I, I, I am in a whole heap of trouble!” said Larry Burns.

”I don’t like you.” said Paul Lynde in a camp manner. “You just watch yourself young man hehehehe! We’re wanted men! Hehehe! I have the death sentence on 12 systems!” Paul Lynde laughed in a camp manner.

”Oh geez! Well I’ll be careful!” Larry Burns spoke like Rodney Dangerfield.

”You’ll be dead! Hehehehe!” said Paul Lynde.

In the present.

“Um okay... well that was different...” said Bart.

”Dad there’s a 1 in 99 billion chance of seeing an alien... give it up...” said Lisa.

”Nonsense Lisa! I’ll prove there’s aliens. With Bart’s conspiracy book I’ll prove there’s aliens hell bent on galactic conquest with laser beams and the dreaded anal probes!!” Hugo ranted in madness.

Lisa winced.

“Mr Simpson. Can you describe the alien?” Mulder asked.

“The alien has a sweet heavenly voice. Like Urkel. And he appears every Friday night. Like Urkel.“ said Homer.

”Hmmmmmm.... I think we’re getting somewhere Scully.” said Mulder.

Lisa face palmed.

”Look!” Oscar found Kang’s spaceship.

Mulder shines a torch. “Fascinating... it’s so e kind of flying saucer...”

Scully found the access button and steam poured out with a loud hiss as the access ramp came down.

Paul Lynde was waiting inside.

”Um... Ruuuuuuude!” He said in a camp manner while dressed as an alien.

Everyone winced and had sweat dropped.

...

Bart, Homer took Mulder and Scully through a swamp.

”Bud.”

”Weis”

”Er.” said the Budweiser frogs.

”Coors.” said a crocodile eating them.

Oscar laughed hysterically.

Bart winced.

Eventually they found their way back into town. Bart, Homer and Oscar went home.

Mulder and Scully investigated a guy found dead and covered in blue paint. Or alien goop alone in his apartment. Then they had to deal with trees with faces.

Young Link winced.

Then X Files got sued by Jumanji over them both having and episode called The Red and The Black.

Peter Shepherd from the cartoon winced.

Then they dealt with a cursed jaguar’s ghost.

Bart winced. That’s quite a few characters exasperated by Mulder and Scully’s adventures.

...

At home the Simpsons watched a Kent Brockman documentary on a guy who woke up from being in a coma for 23 years.

“Does Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?“ He asked upon waking up.

”No she won an Oscar and he’s a Congress man.” said a doctor.

”Good night!” The man promptly died.

”Lisa...” Homer asked.

”Yes Dad?” Lisa asked.

”Who was that guy who single handedly built a rocket and flew it to the moon as the first man on the moon? Um Apollo Creed wasn’t it?” Homer asked Lisa.

Oscar cracked up laughing.

”Apollo Creed?!” Lisa asked in confusion. “No no no! That’s a character from the Rocky films! Many people worked on the famous shuttle launch to the moon and it was Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin who were first to stand on the moon...”

Oscar was still laughing. “Apollo Creed....”

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