Simpsons Fanon

Barbershop Bart Bart is way overdue a haircut. Eventually Homer catches him and sends him to the barbers, however the barber accidentally shaves off most of his hair giving him a ridiculous haircut. The family laughs at him. Then one afternoon he gets left behind and causes trouble to teach them a lesson.


Bart is in his room drinking a squishee with over grown hair like in the Tracey Ullman's short where he has a bath.

"Bart!" Homer yells.

"Uh oh!" Bart runs off and hides. He's hiding in his wardrobe.

"Where are you boy?" Homer growls. He can't find Bart. Bart burps.

"Oops." Bart realises he's been heard.

"Ah ha!" Homer finds him and drags him off somewhere.

”Boy, your mother says your way overdue a haircut.” said Homer.

”Yes Bart. Goodness knows how long your hair is now.” said Marge.

“Well Marge, we can’t tell with his lucky red cap on.” said Homer. “How come you're always wearing that hat?” Bart was clearly hiding his overgrown hair.

“Fashion Statement, Homeboy.” said Bart.

“Take off the hat, boy.“ Homer demanded.

Bart takes off his red cap. Long blond rocker style hair pours out.

“Look he's a beatnik!“ said Lisa.

”No he looks like Aerosmith.” said Oscar.

Marge gasped. “Bart! You go and get a haircut!”

“Right, now.” Homer said sharply.

”I was afraid this day would come.” said Bart.

”You too, fuzzball.” Homer said to Oscar.

”Kallae Kistnae.... Sabayoooooooo eh!” Oscar rasped in gibberish angrily and ran off.

”D’oh!” Homer groaned.

Homer arrives at the barbers and throws Bart in there. "And don't come home without a haircut!"

The old barber greets Bart and offers him a seat.

"Just give me my usual..." Bart sighed. The barber cut his hair.

“Uh, sure thing.” said Jake the crazy barber.

Bart's hair is cut but unfortunately Bart becomes bald! Well nearly apart from a few spikes.

“There what do you think?“ Jake showed him a mirror.


“That will be $5 please. here's a sucker!” said Jake giving him a lollipop.

Bart screamed at the sight of his bad hair do.

”Oh dear....” said Jake.

"I can't go about like this! You owe me a refund!" Bart replied. He hid his embarrassing haircut under his lucky red cap.

At home.

"Bart! Did you get your haircut?" Homer yelled.

"Yeah, it's nothing special just my usual." said Bart eager to his room.

"Bart!" Homer yelled. He calmed down sarcastically. "We would like to see your nice neat haircut." He doesn't believe Bart had his haircut because he is wearing his hat.

"No way man!" said Bart.

"Bart!" Homer yelled grabbing him and trying to pull off his hat.

Homer was shocked by Bart's embarrassing haircut but then everyone laughed hysterically.

Bart quickly put his cap back on and blushed before running off to his room.

Marge comes up to find him crying. She comforts him ad apologises for laughing at him. He accepts she is truly sorry.

"I'll have words with everyone sweetie." said Marge.


"Well, he won't want to go on our day trip out to the candy factory then." said Homer. Bart was furious. Not only did Homer make him get his haircut which went horribly wrong and laughed at him. Now he was leaving him out of family activities!

Bart decided to get his revenge on Homer.

After everyone went Bart went to the shops to buy a squishee. He decided to drink it outside on the frontyard while sunbathing naked where everyone could see him. All of his neighbors, especially the prudent ones such as the Flanderses and the Winfields were horrified.

However Bart's not finished with his revenge yet. After accidentally spilling some of his squishee he goes inside and gets dressed. He then decides to call all of his friends over for a house party.

However when he answers the door to them he finds they have brought friends, and their friends have brought friends. Bart hastily shuts the door and gulps with fear while leaning against it. The stampede of kids smashes down the door and knocks Bart over. He is trampled on.

The kids all cause mayhem and break things. Wendell is sick in a plant pot.

"Guys! Calm down! Hey Nelson don't touch that- (Vase breaks) Vase..." Bart tried to warn his friends. However they were all in a very destructive mood that day. Bart was beginning to regret hosting a house party to get back at Homer for laughing at his haircut...

The house party went on until the evening when everyone went home. Bart just lied in the hallway defeated knowing his family would be home soon and would see the mess.

They soon came home and saw the mess. Stuff was broken, stains on walls from things splashed etc.

Homer was furious! "Bart! What the hell happened here?!"

Bart gulped as his very angry parents and sisters surrounded him.


Bart was grounded for his mess. He was also made to help clean up. Afterwards he had a problem with the script Oscar wrote.

"When have I ever responded to Homer yelling at me to go to my room by saying I'm in my room and laughing when he groans?" said Bart.

"Uh... My Brother made that up. Just read the script..." Said Oscar.

Homer dismissed Bart to his room. "That's it! Go to your room!"

"But I'm in my room!" said Bart, suddenly in his bedroom.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

Bart laughed and made a smart alecky remark under his breath. "Yeah right..."

"That's it! Go downstairs!" Homer yelled.

"But I'm downstairs!" said Bart. He was in the front lounge suddenly.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

"Yeah right..." muttered Bart after laughing again at Homer's expense.

"That's it, go to your room!" Homer yelled.

"But I'm in my room!" said Bart suddenly in his room again.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

Bart laughed and then muttered "yeah right..."

"That's it! Go downstairs!" Homer yelled. This debate repeated itself for what seemed like hours. With Bart constantly warping from his room to downstairs.


Of course the looping gags didn't stop there. One afternoon Grampa came round. Bart sighed as because of his grounding he couldn't go out to escape Grampa's boring stories. Well he normally wouldn't be allowed to go out during Grampa's visit anyway.

Grampa sat Bart on his lap while he told a boring story of his youth that would often go off topic as he would go into non sequiturs about certain things such as them only having big yellow onions during the war because of rationing and Kaiser Wilhelm stealing the number twenty...

Bart sighed with boredom as Grampa told the story of how he invented Confucianism.

Sometime afterwards Marge was in the kitchen cooking when Bart had words with her.

"Mom why does Grampa tell such silly stories all the time...?"

"Hmmmm! Bart, your Grampa is getting really, really old now. Sometimes old people get senile and forgetful or ramble on about things..." said Marge.

Meanwhile Grampa was telling Lisa about death.

"Death stalks you from every corner! It can strike any moment!" Grampa explained. "Aaaaagh! Death!" He screamed at something.

"Grampa... that's just Maggie playing with her blocks..." Lisa sighed.

"Oh. Well that's a- Aaaaagh! Death!" Grampa screamed.

"That's just the dog..." Lisa sighed. Santa's Little Helper was sniffing about.

"Oh because- Aghhhh! Death!" Grampa screamed.

"That's Maggie again..." Lisa sighed.

"Aaaaaaagh! Death!" Grampa screamed. He continued screaming Death! at Maggie and the dog constantly for several minutes.

Lisa sighed.

"I'm going to my room..." she muttered as Grampa was still screaming Death! at everything.


Marge was concerned with Grampa's behaviour which was even more wacky than usual.

"Homer I'm really worried about your dad..." said Marge. However outside on the front lawn Grampa was pointing at things and screaming death! at them.

"Oh lord..." Marge sighed and face palmed.


The next morning Bart was pleased to find his spikes had grown back. No longer would people laugh at his unfortunate haircut.

However now he felt it was time to get revenge on Lisa...

Lisa was putting some rubbish in a street bin. Bart was skateboarding and chewing some bubblegum. He threw it at Lisa and it landed in her hair with a splat.

Lisa felt it in her hair and screamed.

She ran home to tell her Mom, Marge.

"Are you sure?" Marge asked.

"Yes! It's somebody's gross gum!" Lisa yelled.

Marge pondered a recipe to get it out...

"My mother said to get gum out you have to freeze it and hammer it out." said Marge.

Some off screen event resulted in Lisa laying her head on the table and Marge trying to hammer the bubblegum.

Lisa kept screaming.

"Mom! You're just making it worse!" Lisa yelled.

Then Ned popped over. "Well hi diddly ho! A gum problem have we?" Ned asked.

"Yes Ned..." Marge sighed.

"Oh I got gum in my moustache once. Did you try freezing it and-"

"Yes Ned..." said Marge.

Then Sea Captain arrived. "Arrrrr! No that's no good! You have to..."

"Just don't try to pull it out with a bone! It only makes things worse..." said Sideshow Mel pointing at his bone in his hair.

More residents suggested things.

"Okay people! That's quite enough!" said Marge.

Marge tried another old wives tale to get out bubblegum.

"They say peanut butter will get it out..." said Narge smearing Peanut Butter into Lisa's hair. "Or was it mayonnaise? Ah what the heck. Let's try that too." She smeared some mayonnaise into Lisa's hair on top of the peanut butter. "Now you sit outside and let the fresh air settle it."

Lisa went out into the garden per Mom's instructions and sat down. "Ugh... I smell like a sandwich..." Lisa sighed.

A bee was bothering her. She swatted at it. Suddenly a swarm landed on her hair. She screamed and ran about the backyard.

Bart could see everything from his treehouse. He laughed hysterically.

"But my revenge isn't over just yet..." he said evilly as he rubbed his hands together. He laughed an evil laugh.


Lisa had to go to the barbers to have a haircut.

"What the! Little lady... did you try to remove the gum with peanut butter and mayonnaise?" The barber knew all the old wives tales, none of them worked.

"Yes sir..." Lisa sighed.

"Well sit still like a good girl and I'll have that gum out soon enough without leaving an embarrassing bald patch..." said the barber.

However Lisa had a bald patch wheee one of her starfish points would be. She screamed.

"Now that sounds like somebody who doesn't want a lollipop..." said the barber.

Sometime later he restyled her hair into a very nice, trendy hair do.

"Wow! Thanks mister!" said Lisa. She paid for her hair and took a lollipop.

Lisa joyfully showed off her new hairstyle until Nelson laughed at her. "Haw Haw!"

Lisa sighed and put her hat back on. Mrs Glick was so distracted by her she tripped and fell in a bin.

Nelson laughed at Mrs Glick.

Then he laughed at very tall man driving his car. The very tall man got out.

"Oh crud!" Nelson yelped and ran away with the very tall man following him.

Lisa sighed and went home.

Plot 2[]

Homer was reading the newspaper. "Hey! Look at this story! Local boy sunbathes nude to town's horror! Evergreen Terrace's nude menace strikes again!" said Homer showing a picture of Bart in the newspaper naked. "Bart! Get your butt down here!"

Bart came downstairs.

"Bart! Why did you think it was appropriate to sunbathe naked on the front lawn...?" Marge asked him. She was disappointed in him.

"I don't see how that's any different to Dad lying naked in our paddling pool eating hotdogs every summer.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned. "You listen here you little-!"

"Now Homer! Bart has a point! It's hypocritical for you to be mad at him when you do the same thing!" Marge scolded Homer.

"D'oh!" Homer groaned.

"But listen to me! From now on there's no naked sunbathing from either of you! I dread to think how poor Ned is suffering from having to see you both naked..." Marge explained.

"Yes Mom..." Homer and Bart sighed.


That evening it was time for Bart's bath. Bart was in his room drinking a squishee and reading a comic.

"Bart!" Homer yelled.

"Uh oh! Gotta hide!" said Bart hiding in his wardrobe again.

"Where are you boy?" Homer couldn't find him.

Bart burped. "Uh oh..." Bart groaned as Homer heard him.

"Ah ha!" Homer dragged him out of his wardrobe.

Somehow Homer stripped Bart naked. He dumped Bart in a freezing cold bath.

"There. That wasn't so bad was it?" said Homer to Bart, who was blue and shivering. "Make sure to scrub all your nooks and crannies!" Homer chuckled as he left.

Bart turned on the hot tap to warm up his bath. He relaxed and went underwater to play with his bath toys. He was playing with a toy submarine while talking in his head in an accent about trying to find the soap. Suddenly a Homerish octopus bath toy swims by and he grabs it and pretends to be fighting with it.

Bart surfaces and cries for help while the bath is over flowing.

Homer thinks Bart is really in danger and opens the bathroom door only for a flood of water to rush out followed by Bart.

"Clean as a whistle, Homer!" said Bart while flossing his butt with his towel.

Homer growled.

Bart dropped his towel and ran off naked with an angry Homer chasing after him.

Oscar got an aroused nosebleed from seeing Bart run past him naked chased by Homer.

(Oscar moans aroused.)

The attic was open. Oscar went up there.

Hugo looked over at the attic hatch to see who was coming up. It was his friend Oscar.

“Hey, Oscar! What up?“ Hugo asked.

“Hugo, what the hell is... Holy cow, you really do have a gym up here.“ The entire attic was now an impossibly large gym with people exercising in it.

”Enough of your blasphemy and mocking my faith!” Apu running on a running machine yelled.

Hugo winced.

”I said Holy Cow.” Oscar explained why Apu was mad at him.

”Yes Oz. I have turned the attic into a gym!” said Hugo.

”Well it’s impressive. But won’t your dad flip?” Oscar asked.

Something Oscar said stung Hugo. “He is not my dad! He has no right to be my father!” Hugo ranted.

”I know, I know. He’s a heartless monster. And I’ll get you free of this attic/gym soon!” said Oscar. “Anyway why a gym?”

”Why not?” Hugo grinned.


Bart now thankfully dressed went out to catch a frog. He likes to bring home frogs for some reason.

He found a bullfrog.

Oscar found a frog but when he grabbed it...

”Skreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!” It screamed!

”Ah! Oz let go of that frog! It’s a Spring Peeper!” Bart covered his ears as the frog screamed.

”No. I shall keep this frog to annoy everyone!” said Oscar.

Bart sighed.


The Simpsons went to the video rental store.

Homer wanted to rent out Chocolate Star Wars.

”That doesn’t exist sir...” Squeaky Voiced Teen sighed.

”I say you don’t exist!” Homer snapped being stupid.

Bart wanted to rent out an R rated film...

”Certainly not!” Marge snapped, telling him off.

When they got a suitable DVD. Homer was watching Editor in Chimp.

(Chimpanzee screeching.)

Homer laughed hysterically.

”Homie, hold Maggie while I take Oscar to the till.” said Marge. Homer sighed and took Maggie. Holding her properly.

Marge pushed a pram with baby Oscar inside, He was a baby again for some messed up reason and was holding two videotapes for cutesy kids films. One was Happy Little Elves Meet The Curious Bear Cub.

”Um... He won’t let go of the Video tapes...” said Marge.

Squeaky Voiced Teen grunted exasperated.

”Come on Oscar.” Marge asked softly as Squeaky Voiced Teen needed to scan the tapes to process them out of the store as out for rent.

Oscar shrieked and cried.


At Mr Burns’s office. Smithers and another man were found dead by Mr Burns and Smithers Sr.

“They're dead... and homosexual?” Mr Burns asked. Apparently he was able to determine Smithers was homosexual before he died.

“Sir. That's obvious. I mean, now it is. Thinking about it, my son never really vocalised any love interest for a girl, didn't he? Well, he could've kept it to himself, but we were close. I think...“ said Smithers Sr.

”He never told me that!! It’s like he didn’t trust me to be accepting!” Mr Burns ranted upset Smithers couldn’t be open with his sexuality.

At the Simpsons they watched Happy Little Elves Meet The Curious Bear Cub. They all sat bored except Lisa, Maggie abd Oscar who enjoyed the film. Oscar was obsessed by the curious bear cub and his big wet shiny green nose.

The door rang.

”Oh!” Homer answered it. “Yello?” Ge noticed young people in gym clothes with towels.

”We’re here to use your gym.” said the couple.

”Jim?! We don’t have a Jim! Or a gime for that matter!” said Homer.

”But you do! In your attic!” said the young lady carrying light dumbbells.

Homer winced.

”Marge get the Thing... make sure the kids don’t see him...” Homer said dangerously angry.

In the attic which was also an impossibility large gym.

”Why you mutant little! I’ll teach you to run a Jim!” Homer yelled strangling Hugo.