Simpsons Fanon

Back again, Natura-diddly Ned moves back next door and Homer has to go to hospital after eating another expired hoagie. Then Oscar considers leaving Christianity again.


Homer and Bart are mowing the lawn. (Bart's actually mowing while Homer is resting and drinking beer).

Bart grunts and mutters as he pushes the old rusty lawn mower about.

Hugo got out and was running about like a dog.

"Ugh! Dad.m buy a new lawnmower..." Bart grunted.

"No." said Homer.

Suddenly Ned's car pulls up and the Flanders get out.

"Hi diddly ho! Neighborinos!" Says Ned as he greets them.

Bart gasped.

Homer spits out his drink. "Ned? You're back?" The Simpsons and Oscar all gather in the front yard.

"Mmmhmmm. The new leftorium is a success and I missed Springfield."

"Oh you beautiful man!" Homer hugs Ned.

"Now, now! The bible does say love thy neighbor..." Ned blushes as Homer hugs him.

"Well that's a relief. The family that moved in after you left made a mess of your yard. Kept Maggie from her naps with loud music... which by the way we've had to report them for, and they've been rude to us every since they moved in!" Marge explained.

"They don't even go to church!" Lisa added.

"Oh my!" The Flanderses gasp. The other family who are still living next door come out.

"Oh you're thinking of moving in? Fine, suit yourselves. Gloria! Pack the bags! We're leaving!" says the muscular man. "Good riddance!"

"Hey why are you yelling at us? You're the bad neighbor not us!" Homer yelled as the muscular man and his family got in their car and left.

"Well, let's get unpacked! Come on Maude!" The Flanderses go indoors.

"Awww crap..." Oscar mutters under his breath.


To celebrate Ned moving back in the church holds a picnic.

"Didn't we have one last week?" Homer asked.

"No. you just bought a bucket of chicken to church..." said Marge.

"Mmmmmmm! Chicken...." Oscar moaned and drooled.

The Simpsons went to the picnic.

There is a ten foot hoagie on the table.

"Mmmmmmm, impossible hoagie..." says Homer as he drools.

"Homer! Remember what happened last time?" Marge warns him.

"Marge, I see food, I eat it. Do not deny me my crisp ryebread and salady mistress! Come to papa!" Homer grabbed the hoagie and began eating it.

Marge sighed

”Oh and while I was away I learnt to do this!” said Ned. “Heavenly powers comp diddly El you!” He called down a terrifying bolt of lightning!

”Coooooooool!” said Oscar.

”Remind me never to annoy you, Mr Flanders...” Bart gulped.

And this Ned became the cheapest and hardest character in Simpsons Wrestling...

"Nice to see you, Homer." said Lovejoy.

"Yeah. Out of my way, whoever you are. You're blocking the food." said Homer rudely as he helped himself to beer and food.

"Well! Some one likes my tuna salad sandwiches!" said Helen smugly as Hugo was running about on all fours like a dog with a sandwich in his mouth.


The next week Homer was still eating it. The hoagie.

"Dad I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn..." Lisa warns him.

The following week Homer is doing his taxes.

"Homer, I found this behind the radiator. I really think you should throw it away." Marge is holding a purple mushroom covered hoagie segment.

"Suggestion noted." Homer eats the hoagie.

Later one afternoon. Homer is growling and chasing Hugo around the house. Because Hugo is naked for some reason.

"Keep your clothes on! Freak!" Homer yelled.

"Homer!" Marge called him.

"Yes dear?" Homer asked.

"I found this in the refrigerator.l. Throw it out..." It was the purple hoagie with more mushrooms growing in it.

"Um.... I'll consider it..." said Homer.

The following evening the family tries to confiscate the hoagie.

"Daaaaad! Let go!" Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Marge are trying to pull the hoagie off of him.

"No! It's mine!" Homer grunts pulling back the hoagie. Suddenly Bart, Lisa and Marge are shocked by a strong electric current.

"Wow! This electric joy buzzer really is powerful!" said Oscar.

There is a brief flashback of the previous Tuesday afternoon where he's reading the adverts in Bart's comics for prank gadgets and toys, the same section where he got his spy camera from. Oscar then rings up the magazine for an electric joy buzzer.

"Yes, I'll hold..." said Oscar.

Back in present Homer runs away with the hoagie.

He runs off laughing.

"Oh thanks Oscar! Now he's running away!" Bart whines.

"After him!" Lisa yells. They run after Homer.


The next day Homer is very sick.

"I think he might be even worse this time! We should really see Dr Hibbert." Marge explained. Dr Hibbert soon comes round.

"Dear lord! This is the worst case of food poisoning I've ever seen!" Dr Hibbert examines Homer.

"But Dr Hibbert, this has happened to our Dad before!" Lisa asks. "Wouldn't his immune system be fighting it?"

"Ahehehehe! You'd think so, but this particular bug only gets stronger the more it infects you! Why the amount of this hoagie Homer's eaten could also be a problem..."

"He's not gonna die is he?" Lisa asks.

"Of course not Lisa. Tell her it ain't so Doc..." said Marge.

"Only time will tell. He must get to a hospital immediately!"

The Simpsons are at Homer's bedside as he is being treated with powerful antibiotics and given Ipecac, a vomit inducing medicine. While he floods the ward with vomit Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Oscar explore the hospital.

"Well that's one image I won't get out of my head..." Bart is nauseous from seeing Homer vomit everywhere. Suddenly Dr Nick appears. An incompetent doctor who works at the hospital.

"Hi everybody!"

"Hi Dr Nick!" Everyone including Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Oscar greets him in return.

"Why are there children in the hall?" Dr Nick asks.

"Our dad's really sick and we're bored." Bart explains.

"Gah Blah grrrrrr! Blehgahblblblbl!" Hugo spoke in gibberish.

"The hospital is not for exploring. Seriously if Dr Hibbert finds out my job goes bye bye! Nurse find these kids a TV or something!" Dr Nick instructs a nurse to take them to the waiting room.

Jasper is in the waiting room messing with the TV. "Curses! Nothing on this garbage box!" He then gives up and watches "People who look like things."

"Oh no! They taped over the end of this!" says Dr Nick.

There is a man who looks like a kettle. A man who looks like a mop. A man resembling a palm tree and a man and a pumpkin.

"All we ask is a little dignity and respect!" says the pumpkin headed man.

"And candle in that?" The judge asks.

"Yes and a can-No!" The pumpkin headed man gets annoyed as everyone laughs at his faux par.

"Hey that palm tree guy looks like he might be Sideshow Bob's Grandpa or something." Oscar notes the palm tree guy.

"I highly doubt it Oscar..." Bart sighs.


After a few days Homer was fit to go home.

"Doctor Hibbert says no solid foods for a week." Marge explained.

"Awww! But those are my favorite!" Homer whines.

Homer had to drink soup all day until he got better.

Eventually he perked up.

”your third helping of soup you kept it down! You must be getting better!” said Marge.

Homer purred and pulled Marge down into a loving embrace.

Marge giggled.

Elsewhere the Flanders unpacked.

"Well it's great to be back Maude.' saud Ned.

"Yes dear." said Maude.


Later, Bart made yet another prank call to Moe's Tavern.

"Hello, is Mr. Poo there?" Bart asked Moe over the phone.

Oscar laughed hysterically while playing with Mr. Poo, his monkey teddy that Drop Dead Fred keeps tearing to pieces.

”Shhhhh!” Bart hushed him, hoping Moe didn’t hear Oscar laughing.

"Who?" Moe inquired

"First name, Hu-Pflung." Bart replied.

"Hold on, I'll check." Moe said. "Phone call for Hu Pflung! Hu Pflung Poo! Hey everybody, Hu Pflung Poo!!!"

”Not me!” Barney chuckled as everyone in the tavern laughed.

Moe worked out it was another prank call. “Why! It’s you again isn’t it?! You little bastard! If I ever get ahold of you I’ll force feed you a string of sausages and stuff starving dogs up your butt!”

Bart laughed as Moe angrily put the phone down.

Lisa rolled her eyes with exasperation. “Bart that one was just really immature... Mr Poo... I’d expect that sort of infantile toilet humour from Oscar, not you.”

Oscar glared a white hot fiery scowl at Lisa.

”True, but sometimes I just feel like dropping to the depths of crass humour...” said Bart to Lisa feeling like he hadn’t made the effort to be witty this evening with his weekly prank phone call. Although it was only because Alvin wrote this one, and uh it is rather infantile.

Hugo sat like the dog and was scratching himself like a dog because of fleas.

Bart winced.


Meanwhile Bart could see out a window facing into the Flanders house that the Flanderses had already unpacked and settled in. Evil Oscar really didn’t want them to have that happy ending where everyone sung a sappy lame song.

Even I thought that song sucked. Thought Bart. But Oz went way too far in his zealous quest to get rid of them!

"Kallae kistnae...." Oscar rasped at him.

"Yeah I get it! You're mad the Flanderses are back!

In the Flanders house the lovely family were loving and bonding and everything was good as Rod and Todd watched Veggietales with their mother and father as Ned read a bible and Maude was crocheting a cushion.

in stark contrast at the Simpsons Homer was strangling Bart again.

”Why you little!” Homer snarled as he strangled Bart.

Bart wheezed and gasped as he was being strangled.

Hugo growled and bit Homer's leg.

"Ow! Sonnuva!" Homer cried and dropped Bart.

Bart disorientated was rubbing his sore neck when he noticed the strange doppelgänger of himself that called himself Hugo who was biting Dad. Bart shrugged.


At church the Lovejoys were happy to have Ned back. This was before he started annoying Tim with his late night phone calls. Homer recovering from food poisoning was being sulky that Ned was back. He hated the horrible new neighbour but in some form of schadenfreude he was glad Ned left. Basically it didn’t take long for him to be back to his old nasty bullying self.

”And before we have our sermon today. Archbishop McGee has a few words.” said Reverend Lovejoy. And Lovejoy has a few choice words with me! “Narrator do you even know what an archbishop does?”

No... but I thought he was a funny random background character from Blood Feud so I included him...

”And besides the archbishop of America is Greek Orthodox... this is a Lutherism church...” Lovejoy sighed.

”Um... I must return to my duties at St Peter’s Basilisca.” said Archbishop McGee awkwardly because Lovejoy corrected me.

Plot 2[]

Oscar day dreamed about a giant snarling basilisk slithering about the St Peter’s Basilisca.

”Oz no!” Bart whined bursting his dream cloud. “Have you been reading Uncyclopedia again?!”

”Well... I imagine St Peter’s basilisk was enemies with the roc of Gibraltar...” said Oscar.

cue a giant monster eagle or a roc screeching and clawing at a basilisk slithering about the Vatican City.

”Oz no! That’s the rock of Gibraltar!” Bart groaned. He sighed sat there on the church pews exasperated with Oscar’s stupidity.

People hushed him.

”Look if someone can form a religion about a giant Flying Spaghetti Monster, I can be silly about religious iconography and architecture!” Oscar said petulantly.

”Oscar, shhhh!” Marge admonished him for talking loudly in church.

Hugo was taking his shoes off.

"Shoes go on! Shoes come off! Shoes go on..."

Marge sighed.


In Sunday school after morning sermons while the grownups prayed. Oscar spent the activity doodling pictures of a basilisk fighting a roc.

The Sunday school teacher was shocked by his blasphemy. Bart was just embarrassed by his silliness. Also this was long before the hamster incident and before Bart left Sunday school.

Lisa winced as she was painting.

At Home Oscar decided in my canon that some of season four would work better after season eight so he could include the attic monster, Hugo in the episodes. Ie Duffless. And he acknowledged he had done nonsensical early cameos from the attic monster this season.

Hugo was flying Bart's toy rocket about.

”Just as long as we don’t have a repeat of last episode where I was a baby and the Curious bear cub from Lisa’s sappy Little Elves cartoon doesn’t sniff my crotch again...” said Bart getting undressed out of his church clothes and into his casual ones.

The curious bear cub, a cartoon green bear cub with a big wet shiny green nose grinned at Bart while smooshing his face against his bedroom window and breathing on the glass. Bart grumbled annoyed and shut the blind.

"Yeah but that episode was cute though!" Oscar cooed.

"Oz! I told you! Boys are not supposed to like cute things!" Bart groaned.

Some time later on Oscar tested Marge’s patience by wanting to convert to the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

”No Oscar!” Marge said sharply.

”Hey! You are not my mom! If I want to change my religion for frivolous reasons I will! Hmmm... I think I’ll join Mola Ram’s cult...”

Bart winced.

”Hmmmmph! That maybe so mister! But I adopted you against my husband’s wishes! This is a Christian household Oscar!” Marge reminded.

”Now Marge that’s really petty...” Oscar frowned and went off to cool his head.

Marge sighed.

”Mmmmm... sacrilicious Italia... Mamma Mia...” said Homer thinking about eating the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

After late breakfast Marge called round Ned and Reverend Lovejoy to talk some sense into Oscar.

”No I’m not doing this! You are not guilt tripping me and playing the heretic card because I’m leaving your faith! This is a democracy, freedom of faith! If I want to choose a ridiculous religion like Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mormonism or Scientology I will!” Oscar snapped storming off from the kitchen table when Lovejoy tried to speak.

“Hey do not bring Scientology into this!” Bart yelled. His voice actress Nancy is a Scientologist!

”Oscar May I remind you of the foolish man who built his house upon the sand...” said Lovejoy.

Oscar was more willing to hear him out.

”Oh yeah! I love singing high spirited songs in Sunday school! The foolish man built his house upon the saaaaaaand!” Oscar sung.

”No! No! No! Reverend! Why did you get him started singing those lame songs...!” Bart whined. It was bad enough when Rod and Todd sung them.

”Well that’s settled I think. Thanks Reverend.” said Marge.

”But Marge I didn’t... Oh! I did! Pleasure’s all mine Marge...” said Lovejoy as Oscar sang lame Sunday school songs in the background.


Ned was doing the gardening when he found he had moles!

”Earwigs! Eyelids!” He gasped.

”Oh Neddy! Moles!” Maude lamented.

"Moley Moley Moley!" Oscar yelled like Austin Powers.

Ned glared.

The moles somehow dug their way up from their burrows and fled.

“Oh you better run! Before I go all Old Testament on you!” Ned yelled.

”Okay now you’re starting to scare me sweetie...” said Maude.

The Simpsons.

Bart, Oscar and Lisa are watching Krusty.

"Now, Krusty, I hear it's your birthday... so I got your mother's recipe for matzohbrei." said Rabbi Krustofski.

"Hey, I don't do The Jewish stuff on the air." yelled Krusty.

"But, Hershel, bubbeleh--" Rabbi Krustofski asked.

"Ix-nay on the ew-Jay. Roll the cartoon." Krusty growled.

"It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots." Lisa sighed.

"Didn't we already do an episode on this?" Oscar asked.

"That was reuniting Krusty with his estranged father." said Lisa.

"Jurkle's not ashamed of his roots." said Oscar.

"Bubbeleh, I made you my matzobrei!" said Jurkle's Mom to Jurkle.

"Take yo!" said Jurkle in Yiddish. (Oh yeah!)

"We have to go and see Krusty." said Lisa.

"Okay but your Mom is in one of her "Christianity is the only true faith!" moods again..." said Oscar.


Anyway the above paragraph is from The Front. Where Bart and Lisa make their own Itchy and Scratchy episode and Homer has to go back to school to pass a science class. Unfortunately there's no story about Krusty's Judaism...

At Krustyylu Studios Rabbi Krustofski was disappointed in Krusty he was strangely ashamed of his roots and didn't want it brought up while he was working on his TV show.

"Ok, can somebody grab me a lemonade? The walk over here had me feeling like forty pounds of sausage in a Medium-sized crushed velvet suit! You know, figuratively speaking. I'm Jewish. I can only eat turkey meat sausages." said Krusty.

"Herschel such a thing does not exist!" said Rabbi Krustofski.

"Yes it does. They're Turkey Twizzlers." said Oscar.

"Hey hey hey kids! What are you doing back stage?" Krusty asked Bart, Lisa and Oscar.

"Krusty are you ashamed of your religion?" Bart asked.

"No! Of course not! What gave you that impression?!" said Krusty.

Rabbi Krustofski looked sternly at Krusty.

"Pops, I said keep the Judaism and my show separate because I don't want the kids to see my faith as something that amuses them! It's serious to me!" said Krusty.

"Herschel your always making everything about your faith a circus! (Krusty is pulling silly faces.) Look you're mocking me right now!"

"I can't help it! I'm a clown!" said Krusty whining.


Krusty and his father went to a bagel place after work. Because of Jews and bagels!

Oscar was there with Jurkle and Hoju, the homosexual Jew.

Dino looks over to Oscar, who is eating a chocolate bar and reading a comic book. Probably Radioactive man.

"Is that a living, breathing dinosaur?!" asked Rabbi Krustofski.

"Yes this is Dino." said Oscar reading his comic.

Dino, who resembles a baby Chomby was a cartoon dinosaur that acts like a puppy.

That day, at the barber college, the barber talked to Bart.

"Okay, I'll just even this out and..." said the barber as he shaved Bart's hair. This time he didn't screw it up.

There were Clownjas in the Barber College cutting hair. Despite that they don't have hands!

Bart winced at the armless and handless cartoon clown things cutting hair somehow.

He rang Oscar.

"Oz where are you?"

"At a bagel place with Jurkle and Krusty." said Oscar.

Bart winced.

"Hey zombies! Are you ready to smell what Billy the Baker is cooking!?" Teddy could be heard yelling in the background.

Bart face palmed.

"Oscar, Teddy, you could set a world record for doing the most idiotic things in the history of mankind." said Bart.

"Hey Shaddup!" Oscar shouted down the phone at him. He then ended the call.

Bart winced.

In the bagel place.

"Someone touched a raw nerve?" asked Jurkle.

"Don't start! I haven't been so insulted since... since I once did Sideshow Bob's Laundry!" Oscar growled and crushed his bagel in his hands.

At Springfield Penitentiary laundry room.

Bob enters. Oscar is there doing his own laundry.

"Good morning, Sideshow Bob."

"There you are." Bob said in a sinister manner. [holding up a dark sock] What is the meaning of this? Where is his mate?" He lost a sock. He was yelling about a lost sock.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about." said Oscar.

"My favorite pair of socks reduced to a single argyle. Nor is this the only example. The keen observer yesterday would have noticed that I left G Block for the canteen wearing two shades of black! Explanation, please!" Sideshow Bob yelled.

"I'm sorry, Bob. I'm forced to do the laundry in this room, given the guards insist on barricading us in small rooms with iron bars, and I guess your socks are just too tempting to the neighbors. Of course, you're welcome to go down here yourself and stand guard." said Oscar casually.

"I see. If we had our own washer-dryer, there would be no more lost socks. I will not be strong-armed by threats against my laundry!" Sideshow Bob yelled.

"Suit yourself. I'm off to do a load of your pinks." said Oscar doing laundry.

"I don't have any pinks." said Sideshow Bob.

"You will." said Oscar.


Jurkle winced and softly chewed his bagel.

"Okay... So Sideshow Bob is in the Cutaway gags now..." Bart groaned exasperated.

"Yep." said Oscar.

"How does any of that help Krusty embrace his faith?!" Bart in w split screen gag yelled.

"What do I care? You're on the other side of town..." said Oscar.

At home.

Homer was mowing the lawn.

"Hi diddly ho Neighbourino!" said Ned.

Homer resisted the urge to be irrationally rude to him.



"I finally get the old adage, you don't know what you have until it's gone." said Homer.

"Things have been really bad since I've been gone. Haven't they..." said Ned.

"Yep." said Homer.

"Maude's out with the Reverend and his wife. I'll open up the Rumpus room bar." said Ned.


In Springfield Penitentiary Laundry Room.

Sideshow Bob gasped as he found all his white clothes, ie briefs and socks were bright pink!

"Lucifer's beard!" He yelled. "He really meant it!"

Plot 3[]

Now that Flanders was back. Marge could find some “better” friends for Oscar that would be a good influence on him.

”No Mom! Don’t get him to be friends with Rod and Todd...” Bart groaned. “They’ll make him weird...”

Marge frowned at Bart.

Bart sighed as Oscar went next door to the Flanders house.

”What do you want to do?” Rod asked.

”Watch cartoons.” said Oscar with a demented look on his face.

”Oh sure. We have cartoons.” said Rod.

”Cartoons our daddy approves of...” said Todd.

Oscar winced. “This is gonna be interesting...”

First up Veggie Tales was on.

Oscar laughed hysterically. “They’re vegetables! And they’re talking! (Laughs maniacally)”

Rod and Todd winced.

”Look! Jesus is a carrot!”

Then they all sang the Larry the cucumber song.

Soon that cartoon was finished.

Then a plasticine animation called Gravey and Goliath was on.

”Oh no! Daddy stopped us watching that because he says talking dogs are blasphemous...” said Todd.

Oscar grimaced exasperated.

Then McGee and Me was on.

Oscar laughed hysterically.

”Look! He just dropped an anvil on that guy! Piiiiiiiiiii! Crunch!”

”Oh big deal! I can out Toon this bucko!” Quiffy said frowning. He went in the TV and had a Toon battle with McGee involving anvils, clobbering each other with mallets and bombs.

Rod and Todd winced.