Baby Bart and the Curious Bear Cub is an episode in my fanon. Baby Bart meets the curious bear cub of Happy Little Elves and chaos insues.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Bart wakes up in his crib. (We see everything from first person view. I.e. We're Bart) Marge comes in and says "Phew! Someone has a stinky diaper this morning!" Checking his diaper. She picks up Bart and puts him on the changing table to be changed.

“Hi Lady!” said Bart as Mom picked him up to take him to the changing table to be changed.

”Bart, call me mom...” Marge sighed.

”Okay lady!” said Bart.


Bart has his diaper changed and is taken downstairs.

...

Homer tries to feed Bart his food. "Have some num num." However Bart won't eat. Eventually Marge somehow got him to eat off screen.

Bart is then put in front of the TV to watch Happy Little Elves which he hates. However he pays attention when the curious bear cub appears and wets his diaper when the bear cub smooshes its big wet shiny green nose against the screen.

”Now you enjoy your cartoon sweetie while Mommy has to do the housework.” said Marge.

”Okay Lady!” said baby Bart as he watched the Curious bear cub and the Happy Little Elves being sappy.

”Hmmmmm.... Please! Just call me mom! Call me mommy or even mother! But not lady!” Marge sighed.

”Okay Lady! I love you! Bye bye!” said baby Bart.

Marge sighed and went to do her housework.

Baby Bart gurgled because a cartoon teddy bear creature was sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Bart grimaced and wet himself uncomfortable at being sniffed.

But the living teddy bear creature continued sniffing his diaper. Bart honked his big wet shiny black nose.

The teddy bear winced and rubbed his sore nose and frowned.

...

That evening Marge falls asleep reading him a bed time story again so he entertains himself by watching Happy Little Elves until he falls asleep.

Bart dreams about himself waking up in the village of the Happy Little Elves. The elves annoy him by treating him like a baby, which he is. He finds himself having his diaper changed by Bubbles, an elf with a big round nose and buck teeth. He pees on Bubbles during the process.

"Eeeugh!" Bubbles cried at the disgusting distraction which gave Bart just enough time to snatch a diaper and escape naked. Bart runs into the forest while taping up his diaper onto himself, the elves rush after him to stop him from escaping but he has already entered the depths of the forest.

”Hey! Come back!” The elves cry as they chase after him. But they soon lose him.

While exploring he bumps into the curious bear cub who sniffs his diaper with his big shiny green nose. This tickles Bart and for some reason causes him to feel the need to pee. Bart blushes and backs away from the cub, but he keeps sniffing him.

“Hi Beary!” said Bart.

”Ugh call me the curious bear cub! Call me Cubby! But do not call me Beary!” The green cartoon bear cub groaned.

“Okay Beary! I love you! Bye bye!” said Bart running away but...


“Not so fast kiddo!” The bear cub quickly seized the back of Bart’s diaper, which was really stretchy as Bart struggled to run away.

”Unnnnnngh!” Bart groaned. Eventually he accepted he wasn’t going anywhere and settled down. The green bear cub sniffed his diaper again with his big wet shiny green nose.

”Hehehe! Silly bear!” Bart giggled. The bear continued sniffing him.

Bart decides to squeeze the bear cub's nose. It squeaked like a toy which he finds highly amusing and giggles before squeezing it again.

This hurts the bear cub slightly and he makes his feelings known when rubbing his sore nose. He sniffs Bart again who's only response is to squeeze his nose again. The simplest things amuse him.

”Ow! And don’t squeeze my nose!” The bear cub whined rubbing his nose.

”Why?” Bart asked.

”because it hurts!”

”Why?”

”I don’t know!” The bear cub was flustered by that question.

”Why?”

The bear cub sighed and stuffed a blue pacifier in baby Bart’s mouth. He sucked his pacifier. “Ohhhh! I get it. You wants me to be quiet! Okay Beary!” said Bart.

The Curious bear cub sighed and sniffed his diaper again.

The bear cub tackles Bart to the floor and smooshes his nose into his face. The nose feels wet and slimy to Bart who grimaces while the bear cub rubs their noses together. He then sniffs Bart again. Bart wriggles so the bear cub holds down his short legs and sniffs his diaper.

”Eeeek! Stop sniffing me there Beary!” Bart whined. But the bear cub wouldn’t listen and continued sniffing him.

Bart squeezes his nose again so he shrinks the yellow boy. The giant bear cub picks up Bart and sniffs the tiny boy. His breath is like a hurricane to Bart and his hair is blown about. Bart then shoves his hands up the bear's nose, a wet unpleasant squelch disgusts him as he ponders what horrid gunk is up there. Bart tries to withdraw his hands only to find they're stuck in globs of green slimy goo that stretches from inside the bear cub's nose. He quickly realises this is snot. The bear cub's snot is particularly glutinous and stretchy to Bart because of his small size he's easily trapped in it. It has the stickiness of cartoon glue.

“Yeeeeuck!” The bear cub groaned.

Bart struggles and squirms to no avail. The bear cub upon seeing Bart stuff his hands up his nose groans in disgust. He eventually grabs Bart and pulls him free of the goo. He glares at Bart and reprimands him.

”Don’t do that!” said the bear cub annoyed.

”Why?” Bart asked.

”Because it’s disgusting and you’ll get messy!” said the bear cub.

”Why?”

”Because I have a rather bad head cold!” said the bear cub. “And I’m rather snotty for some reason...”

”Why?”

”I don’t know! Probably because the author has a bizarre fixation with boogers!” said the bear cub.

Bart sees that his hands are in oozing slimy globs of perpetually dripping slime and groans in disgust before clapping his hands together with a loud splat. He pulls them apart only to find that they're glued together by the snot. He grins and plays with the goo.

”Ugh! Don’t do that!” The bear cub groaned.

”Why?”

“Because it’s gross and now your hands are stuck together!”

”Why?”

”I don’t know!”

”Ungh! I dun wike being stuck! Nnnnnnnnnngh!” Bart whined tugging at the goo until he ripped free of it.

The green bear cub sits down in a clearing and puts Bart down. The tiny boy climbs on him. The bear cub sniffs and twitches his big wet shiny green nose. Bart then plants his hands up his nose. Splat!

Bart gurgles as he tugs at the gooey snot he is stuck in. He tugged and tugged stretching the green goo.

The bear cub groaned and yanked Bart free of the goo. Bart cooed and gurgled as the bear cub frowned at him.

”Kid stop! Please...”

”Why?”

”because it’s disgusting and cartoon slime monsters will get you if you keep getting stuck!” said the bear cub.

He sniffed Bart. Bart gurgled and stuffed his hands up the bear cub’s nose. Splat! He tugged at his gooey snot.

”Eeeeeew!” The bear cub groaned. Bart tugged frantically until he tore free of the goo.

Then two slimy slime monster arms oozed out of the cartoon bear’s nose and grabbed Bart’s feet with two wet splats.

”Ungh! Let go!” Baby Bart whined as he struggled.

”Told ya...” the green cartoon bear cub sighed.

Bart continued to struggle. Two more gooey slime monster arms grabbed his hands. Then a slimy arm oozed out and splattered onto his diaper. Bart gurgled in disgust as the slime tried to pull him up the bear cub’s nose. But the bear cub pulled him free of the goo.

He returned Bart to usual size. Bart ran off to a cliff edge and goaded the bear cub into running to catch him as he was gonna jump. As the bear cub screamed and ran to catch him he side stepped and watched the green cartoon bear cub plunge to certain doom.

“Hehehehe! Silly bear!” Bart giggled sounding like Mindy from Buttons and Mindy because she sounds like baby Bart.

...

Bart finds the bear cub again and the bear cub leads him through the forest occasionally grabbing the back of his diaper in his mouth to stop him from going the wrong way.

Baby Bart saw some poisonous looking mushrooms and tried to dash towards them but the curious bear cub grabbed the hem of his diaper in his mouth and pulled Bart backwards. Bart struggled and squirmed.

They arrive at the bear cub's nest. A mama bear curious bear cub. (A race of green cartoon bears.) picks him up and cuddles him. He squirms causing her to sniff him and check his diaper. His diaper stinks, causing her to hold him at arms length and grimace.

“Hi bear lady!” said Bart. The momma bear sighed.

She sniffed Bart’s diaper. He wet himself and blushed uncomfortable with being sniffed. Bar wriggled as the bear continues sniffing his diaper with her big wet shiny green nose.

Suddenly Bart's stomach gurgles and he messes himself. The bear takes him to the nest and lays him down before changing him. Once he’s changed the bear cub from earlier sniffs him a lot. Bart blushes and wets himself as the bear cub sniffs him with his shiny green nose. Bart squeezes the bear cub's nose again. The bear cub grinned and rubbed his nose before sniffing Bart’s diaper again.

The bear cub smooshes his nose into Bart's face. Bart grimaced as it felt slimy. He rubbed their noses together then got off of him and started sniffing his diaper again. Bart wriggled so he held down his short legs and sniffed his diaper a lot.

He then shrunk Bart with his magic.

He sniffed the tiny yellow boy. Bart was blown over by the hurricane breath. He then got up and stuffed his hands up the bear cub's nose! Splat!

Bart groaned as they sunk into something slimy. He tugged at the rubbery gooey snot frantically until the stretchy strands snapped like elastic bands.

The bear cub then sneezed. Bart was splattered against a tree trunk with copious amounts of slimy snot. He was quickly glued to the bark by the slimy green goo. He gurgled and squealed as he struggled and squirmed.

The bear cub groaned in disgust and pulled Bart free of the goo.

He then returned Bart to his usual size and sniffed his diaper until Bart squeezed his nose and giggled at the squeaking noise it made.

The bear cub then picks him up and hugs him. Bart struggles so The bear cub sniffs his diaper before smooshing his slimy nose into his face. Then he hugs him again. Then he held Bart aloft and sniffed his diaper again. Bart’s stomach gurgled and he grimaced as he messed his diaper with a splat.

The bear cub sniffed him and gagged.

As the bear cub changed Bart’s diaper he sniffed him. Bart gurgled and honked the bear cub’s nose. He giggled and kept squeezing his nose. The bear cub grinned and sniffed Bart’s diaper. Bart squeezed his nose again. He then shrunk himself and stuffed his hands up the bear cub’s nose. Splat! They sunk into something slimy... boogers!

Bart gurgled in disgust and tugged at the boogers frantically as they were gooey and he was stuck in them.

The bear cub groaned in disgust and pulled Bart free.

Then slimy tendrils of snot oozed out and grabbed Bart’s feet, engulfing them. Bart gurgled and tugged at the goo. Then two more grabbed his hands. He struggled and squirmed. A big slimy hand oozed out of the bear cub’s big wet shiny green nose. Bart grimaced in disgust. Suddenly it splattered onto his diaper he groaned as it engulfed his diaper. He was then yanked into a slimy portal. Bart found himself in the nasal chambers of the bear cub’s nose. They resembled vast twisting caves and tunnels but with walls of flesh. Bart was being dragged down a tunnel by the gooey strands holding his hands and feet and the one attached to his diaper.

Baby Bart is pulled into a lake of slime. He grimaced as he as he sunk deeper and deeper into the quicksand-like slime. “Ungh! Sinking slime!”

Then a cartoon slime monster oozes out of the slime.

“Ugh! Muck monster!” said Bart, as the slime monster grinned and pulled him out of the slime. The monster watched Bart wriggle and gurgle before deciding to glue him to a wall of the nasal chambers with slime.

Bart struggled and squirmed helplessly.

"MOMMY!" the poor hapless little boy cried out. The cartoon slime monster sweat dropped.

....

”Mommy... Mommy...” Baby Bart moaned and whimpered in his sleep. Yeah the slime monster and the green bear cub with gooey boogers was a dream.

Marge was glad he was saying Mommy and not Lady but was concerned her baby was having a nightmare and gently woke him.

”It’s okay sweetie! You were just having a bad dream!” said Marge.

”Hi Lady!” said Bart hugging his mom.

Mage sighed, cuddling her baby. She sniffed him. He was wet. She took him to be changed.

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