Angelica Button and the Excruciating Copyright Violation Lisa gets into a new book series called Angelica Button. A gender swapped Harry Potter rip-off. Obviously J K Rowling tries to sue. Bart thinks the book is extremely dorky so Lisa makes him read it to her, then the bullies catch him reading so they make him read it to them. Kerne strangely likes the book.
Oscar obviously loves the book series and goes to Angelica Button’s magic school as a transfer student. Where he swots his magic lessons as usual and is silly while he’s at it.
Meanwhile the Simpsons kids consider getting a new pet while passing a pet store.
Bart is asleep one night. Scary music plays as a figure walks into his room and wakes him up. Bart screams and whacks the snake like being with a baseball bat. The figure tries to get him to stop and cries out in pain.
“Ow! Bart it’s me!” Homer was the figure as his costume’s head falls off. Bart pauses then hits him some more. “Ow! Gimme that!” Homer snatches his baseball bat. “I’m Lord Evilton from the Angelica Button books!”
“What on Earth is Angelica Button and why should I care...” said Bart.
“It’s a book about a young witch who goes to magic school and is totally not a rip off of Harry Potter.” said Lisa cosplaying as Angelica Button. “The bookstore has opened at midnight to sell the copies right on release!”
“Why would I want to get in line for a geeky book...” Bart sighed trying to go back to bed.
“Come on, all the nerds are gonna be there!” said Homer.
“I’m not a nerd! I’m a jock who’s too cool for sports.” said Bart.
“More like too small for sports.” said Hugo with a huge muscular body.
“Hugo have you been experimenting with steroids again...” Marge asked.
“Guys I’m not interested in getting up at midnight to buy a book... The only thing you should wait in line at midnight for is a new comic or video game...” said Bart. “Now I need my beauty sleep. Goodnight...” Bart tried to go to sleep.
“Hmmmmm! Sorry dear, but we’re all going. You can’t stay home alone. Especially at this time of night...” said Marge. “Just do this one thing for your sister and be nice and I’ll even relent and take you to an extremely late night, far past your bedtime line wait for any new video game you want.”
“Any...” Bart grinned.
“Yes dear... Even a violent one...” said Marge.
“Well it’s not video game season until the E3 convention but... there’s a new Radioactive man release scheduled next week on a school night...” said Bart.
“Okay dear... as promised I’ll let you go there...” said Marge.
“And as promised I’ll get dressed and try to be civil as Lisa buys her book. Just don’t expect me to read it to you Sis.” said Bart getting up to get dressed.
They drove out in the middle of the night. Snake found it amusing everyone had gone leaving their houses vulnerable to robbing. “Oh yeah! Let’s rob some houses!” He broke into a house and robbed it.
The Simpsons drove to the book store in costume. Well actually, Bart was the only one not in costume.
”So what is this Angelica Buttbrain series...” Bart groaned.
”Angelica Button... I have been reading the series.” said Lisa. “It's the final book! I wonder what happens? Maybe the Sandrux is the Narcolops.”
“I read a rumor Spider-man's in it.” said Oscar being stupid.
“Shut up! Shut up! This is a spoiler-free zone.” Homer yelled.
”Dad loves reading the series to me at bed time.” said Lisa.
Everyone in town was waiting in line. Um including the Flanders.
“No Matt!” Oscar yelled erasing them with a giant pencil. Then he shoved his Mypad into the fourth wall.
Instead the Flanders were at home where because he owed the boys a favour and had to do one thing they always wanted to do, Ned read them Harry Potter. Of course he changed the ending to suit his strict Christian views.
“And then Harry Potter and all his Friends went straight to Hell for practicing witchcraft! The end!” said Ned.
“Yaaaaaaay!” said Rod and Todd.
“Okay Oz we get it, they’d not want to read a book about magical school children and wizardry...” said Bart bored.
Lisa was waiting in line when Comic Book Guy as Hagrid criticised her costume as not being authentic to the movie.
“Actually my costume is based on the original books...” said Lisa.
Everyone laughed at Comic Book Guy.
“Don’t mock me! You’re all banned from my store! Banned I tells ya!” Comic Book cried and ran away.
”Okay everyone take a colourful wrist bracelet and walk in a single file line...” said Squeaky Voiced Teen.
”Get outta the way!” Homer yelled.
The shopkeeper let everyone in. However the stampede of geeks and kids crushed him eager to get the Angelica Button books.
Nelson was bullying Martin by making him read the book. They were both in costume.
Martin began reading.
“Do the character voices...” said Nelson demanded.
Martin read in funny voices.
“In the style of the Elephant Man...” Nelson demanded.
Martin tried to read in the character voices and while talking like Joseph Merrick.
“And why are you not in costume?!” said Nelson.
“Because Books are for geeks Nelson. I would have thought you, a school bully would know...” said Bart.
“I can still find Angelica Button books wicked awesome.” Nelson retorted.
“Oh yeah... Wonder what Jimbo would say if he saw you geeking out over a book...” said Bart smugly.
“Who is geeking out over a book?” Jimbo asked.
“Oh geez! It’s Nelson! What is wrong with you?” Dolph groaned.
“Shut up Shrimp. We don’t like little dorks either...” said Jimbo.
“Nelson you’ve joined the geek side...” Dolph sighed.
“I have not! I’m still wicked awesome! Hey I didn’t say stop reading!” He hit Martin to get him to keep reading.
”Ow!” Martin whined.
“No you’re a geek...” said Jimbo.
“What is so fascinating about this book...” said Kerne having a quick flip through. He was instantly entranced as he imagined everyone as fantasy characters. “This is awesome! For Frogdimples!”
“Oh great! Now Kerne is geeking out...” said Dolph.
Kerne clobbered them on the head. “New agenda for the bully squad! Angelica Button Books are no longer geeky...” said Kerne.
Jimbo and Dolph started fighting with him.
Bart made himself scarce. He wondered about a Kerne sometimes...
Oscar ran into Bart to find him.
“Ow! My nose... Watch where you’re going Oz...” said Bart.
“Sorry. But I’ve got news! Matt is releasing a new spinoff!” said Oscar.
“Another Spinoff...?! But we already have Futurama...” Bart groaned.
“But this is nothing like Futurama! It’s set in the past! The medieval times in fact with high fantasy.” said Oscar.
“Ugh High Fantasy...” said Bart.
“It looks wicked awesome based on the DVD cover. Ha! Look! This goblin character looks just like you!” said Oscar holding a Disenchantment DVD and pointing to Elfo.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Elsewhere Comic Book Guy browsed throw the new book clearly bored and only into the series because he doesn’t want to be left out of the trend.
“"The Dark Lord has summoned you" said the withered troll.” said Comic Book Guy reading.
“Do the character voices!” Oscar snapped.
“"And bring your cloak. The torture room can be frightfully chilly." Angelica's first kiss, da-da-da. Subplot about her cat, who cares? Professor Skizzletwitch is a Were-bear, and, uh, no, no, he's not. Maluicious Krubb is actually Kraluicious Mubb. All is lost, Angelica uses the spell she learned in chapter six. Magic, magic, magic, all is won.” Comic Book Guy skimmed through it. “The end. Worst children’s fantasy novel ever!”
”Well ain’t you a barrel of laughs...” Oscar sighed.
Eventually it was time for everyone to go home and get to bed. Lisa spent the car journey reading her new Angelica Button Book.
“Sweetie save some for when you get home.” said Marge.
“But Mom, I’ll be going straight to sleep when I.... Zzzzzzzz....” Lisa fell asleep.
“And Bart since you were so well behaved I’ll keep my end of the bargain and allow late night trips to the comic book store and the video game store... Um... I’m not exactly very hip about what’s cool and what not...” said Marge.
“Which is why I’m taking you Bart!” said Homer.
“Coooool! Thanks Mom. Sorry but this is a dad and son thing...” said Bart.
“Like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker ruling the galaxy as father and son.” said Homer. “Plus I think I’m the cool parent....” said Homer.
“Yeah you keep telling yourself that Homer...” said Oscar.
One night Homer was reading Lisa her Angelica button book. “And then Angelica looked up at the stern but wise whiskers of headmaster Greystache...” Homer set the imagery of a scene where Angelica Button got sorted into her house by Greystache and the sorting hat? Yes there’s a sorting hat because it’s a Harry Potter rip-off.
“Griffinsoooooore!” The sorting hat sorted her into her house.
”In the Nigel Planter books, the sorting hat is the squid hat Voiced by Weird Al Yankovich.” said Billy from Grim adventures.
”A rip-off of my universe?! You’ll be hearing from my lawyers!” yelled Harry Potter.
Meanwhile Oscar was boring Bart by reading the book.
“And then Angelica went to her charms lessons with professor Fizzlewhizz!” Oscar read aloud. Bart groaned and put pillows on his ears as he tried to read a comic book.
Oscar got a little too enthusiastic by the magic and was practicing with his wand. “Flipendooooo!” He shattered Bart’s Krusty lamp with a knock back jinx.
“Oscar! That was my favourite lamp!” Bart whined.
“Sorry. Got a little too enthusiastic!” said Oscar sheepishly.
“Oz... Maybe you should spend some time with your magical friends just until you get this Angelica Button nonsense out of your system!” said Bart.
“It’s not nonsense! It’s like Springwarts only more awesome!” said Oscar.
Bart and Lisa were shopping one late morning. To Lisa’s dismay the author of Angelica Button, T.R Francis was being sued by J.K Rowling and the Blue haired lawyer.
“Ms Francis your Angelica Button is nothing more than a gender swapped rehash of Harry Potter...” said Blue haired lawyer.
“No it isn’t! And so what? There are loads of renamed parodies in Springfield to skirt around copyright laws! Like Playdude instead of Playboy! Land of Wild Beasts! Mapple! Funtendo!” said Lisa.
“I’ll handle this Lisa.” said Lionel Hutz. “Lionel Hutz attorney. I’ll take your case Ms Francis. Mostly to show up my more successful rival...”
Lionel and Blue haired Lawyer growled at each other.
Lisa sighed and found Bart at the pet store.
“Bart we already have pets... We have a dog, two cats, one to replace her mother who got killed by Fred Quimby... Two Goldfish that for some reason are sometimes three Angel fish... Your turtle.... your frog... Hugo’s pigeon rat... Hugo’s Bolivian tree lizards... My pony... your horse, Furious D... Stampy the elephant... my mouse...” Lisa listed their pets.
“Wait! You had an mouse even when I had Stampy?! I missed such a funny gag!” said Bart.
“What gag?” Lisa asked.
“Just give me a sec so I can see if the elephant sanctuary is open...” said Bart ringing his mobile.
The scene transitioned to the Simpsons at Stampy’s enclosure.
“It’s nice Bart wants to see his elephant.” said Marge.
“Mom he’s only doing this for a cutaway...” said Lisa.
“Okay Lis got your mouse?” Bart asked.
“Yes...” Lisa had a white mouse with a big red shiny nose doing a Kung fu praying mantis pose. She showed him to Stampy.
Stampy immediately reacted with extreme fright and trumpeted loudly with a cartoony expression of fear and trampled away to the far side of the enclosure.
Bart laughed hysterically. “Cartoon elephants are funny...!”
The Simpsons sighed.
Bart and Lisa soon found themselves back at the pet store.
“Those cutaways are rather handy...” said Bart. “Anyway, if we could get another pet, what would you want?” Bart asked.
“Bunny rabbit. What’s yours?” And yes I said bunny rabbit because I find them cute.”
“I know you like cute things. That’s part of being a girl.” said Bart. “I want a pig and I’d call him Spiderpig....” said Bart.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
“And I’d ride him naked through out the house.” Bart added.
“Mom said no naked pig riding.” said Lisa.
“Oh! I want to say what pet you should have!” Oscar asked.
“It’s what pet we want in a hypothetical situation... and what is your choice... dare I ask...” Bart replied.
“You should get a curious bear cub from Happy Little Elves so it can sniff my diaper with its big shiny green nose!” said Oscar.
“Uh no...” said Bart.
“The curious bear cub is adorable but that’s just weird Oscar...” said Lisa.
Bart had lost a dare with Lisa one evening so as a penalty they both agreed Bart would read Lisa bedtime story from her Angelica Button book.
“Don’t look so glum Bart. Think of it like Sonic reading Tails a bedtime story in that series with the scary Jim Cummings Robotnik.” said Lisa.
We cut to Sonic reading Tails (voiced by Peter shepherd from the Jumanji movie, Bradley Pierce)
“And then they played a board game...” Sonic was clearly telling a spooky story.
“That’s not scary.” said Tails rolling his eyes.
“It was Jumanji!” said Sonic.
“And then Robotnik was there...” said Sonic.
“And...” said Tails.
“Our universe’s Robotnik. The actually threatening and terrifying one! Not the grumpy shouting one who easily falls for my hijinks and dropping heavy objects like a cartoon malarkey...”
The cutaway ended with Bart reading Angelica Button reluctantly. He groaned while reading it.
“You know I’d consider reading this myself if the main character was a dude! It just doesn’t work with a sissy girl as the hero!” Bart sighed.
“Why not? If you wanted Angelica to be a boy you should have read Harry Potter. But you stopped after the first page...” said Lisa.
“The Dursleys mistreatment of Harry chapters are boring! I want to read the cool bits with the magic...” Bart whined.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
As promised because he was bugging Bart and breaking things with his magic, Oscar travelled on an extended holiday around the world to see his wizard friends. First he stopped of at Hogwarts.
“Hey Oscar.” said Harry.
“Hi Harry. Still being bullied by the Dursleys every summer?” asked Oscar.
“Yes... unfortunately.” said Harry.
Hermione greeted him warmly. Oscar likes Hermione. She never got spiteful towards loveable pranksters like the Weasley twins. Well she annoyed him slightly over her scolding of them using prank sweets like Puking pastills to escape lessons. But unlike Lisa she learnt quickly not to be such a teacher’s pet.
Her House Elves campaigns were annoying though.
Oscar greeted Hermione with a hug. He kept them in the dark about his past and how he became an orphan because he didn’t want to see their reaction. When your friend is famous for his parents being murdered by an evil wizard who now is plotting to finish him off as well, the last thing said friend wants to know is that you Voldermort’ed your own parents...
“So what have you been up to?” Harry asked Oscar.
“One of my friends from another universe has a new book series in their’s that’s just a shameless rip off of all of your adventures in Hogwarts minus the backstory of your abusive Aunt and Uncle and your murdered parents.” said Oscar. “I got really into the book because I love magic and got a little carried away with my spell casting and broke a lamp. So my friend suggested I hang out here for a while. Then it’s off to see my friends in Vondedland...”
“Yeah it’s a shame you’re too young to attend Hogwarts. You’d give even me a run around in magic!” said Hermione.
“Ha! Someone can swot Hermione!” Ron laughed.
“Ron friends don’t taunt each other...” said Hermione.
“But you’re getting beaten in lessons by a year four primary school pupil!” said Ron.
“Don’t you guys have a magic school primary school?” said Oscar.
“Nope. We either attend a muggle primary school or are homeschooled like I was.” said Ron. “Very young wizards or witches have little control over their magical powers so aren’t allowed a wand yet.”
“Besides Snape if he ever smiled would scoff at the idea of teaching an underaged wizard.” said Harry.
Back at Springfield.
In school The bullies caught Bart reading to Lisa so Kerne demanded he read to the bully gang.
“Why would you want him to do that?!” Dolph asked.
“Shut up! I have my reasons!” Kerne yelled.
Bart smirked. “You have a soft spot for Angelica Button don’t you...”
“No! I just like the dragons and spell casting!” said Kerne blushing as his cohorts in the gang laughed at him.
Recess ended with Bart and Kerne alone in one of the concrete crawling pipes reading Angelica Button and the Scone of Destiny.
“And then Angelica reaches the first trial of the scone of destiny...” Bart was reading aloud to an eager Kerne.
“Alright wee snappers! Play time is over get out of the pipe and go to lessons!” said Willie.
“Willie I’m twenty five...” said Kerne. “I still haven’t passed fifth grade...”
“I don’t care! Out or I’ll use the dreaded pipes of Scotland!” Willie got out his bagpipes and played them.
Bart and Kerne screamed and got out of the crawl pipe as fast as possible without banging their heads and ran off to lessons.
“Willie! That’s a felony to use bagpipes to torture children!” Skinner yelled.
Oscar was bored in the Gryffindor common room.
“Surely it’s not that big an issue for a younger kid to be roaming Hogwarts as long as it’s within day hours. Isn’t there a clause where if a teacher has very young children and can’t find a nanny for them they take them with them to Hogwarts. Like a take your kid to work day thingy...” said Oscar.
“Yes... but you don’t have any parents. And they certainly don’t work here as a teacher.” said Hermione.
“Then just say you’re responsible for my wellbeing. I won’t cause too much trouble... I just want to explore... within Dumbledore’s rules of where I can and can’t go... stupid forbidden third floor corridor...” said Oscar.
“Okay but stay at our side at all times and don’t get caught by Filch...” said Hermione.
“Okay, just give me a sec. My friend in another universe’s America wants me to set off his school fire alarms to get him out of maths. I um have remote access...
At Springfield Elementary the fire alarms went off.
“Don’t panic! Everyone leave in an orderly fashion!” Mrs Krabappel tried to explain as everyone rushed out.
Willie needed to save the wee turtles again.
“Agh! Out of the way! I have to save the wee turtles!” He went into the kindergarten and of course ran out screaming with tiny turtles biting him. “Ach! They got the better of me!”
Bart smirked at the sight of tiny turtles biting Willie.
At Hogwarts Oscar got caught in the middle of Malfoy’s bully Harry and his friends sessions. He had thanks to lessons from Bart a way to annoy Malfoy.
“I know you are but what am I?” Oscar asked.
“A mudblood.” said Malfoy.
“I know you are but what am I?” Oscar asked.
“A mudblood!” said Malfoy.
“I know you are but what am I?” Oscar asked.
”A mudblood.” said Draco Malfoy getting frustrated.
”I know you are but what am I?” Oscar asked.
Before Malfoy respond Crabbe interrupted. “Face it Malfoy, he’s got you in an I know you are loop! The oldest trick in primary achool...”
“Well I wouldn’t know that because I was homeschooled away from the dredges of society!” Draco yelled before storming off.
“I can’t believe that worked...” said Ron.
“I should totally post Drapple fan fictions across the Slytherin common room...” said Oscar “just for giggles.”
“Drapple...?” Harry asked.
“Draco X Apple. Uh some muggles on the internet are obsessed with a scene where Draco uses vanishing cabinets to transport an apple between Hogwarts and Borgin and Burke’s...” Oscar explained. He explained further that Drapple fanfics were about Draco being madly in love with an apple.
Oscar’s adventures were hurried up a bit since this is a Simpsons fanfic not a Harry Potter one.
He’s walking the corridors of Hogwarts, flying on a flying scooter with Verne, Cassie and Gus and breaking things at Toadblatts by saying Moldybutt all the time.
At Gryffindor common room.
“Oz.” Hermione asked.
“Yeah.” said Oscar.
“You do know there are other wizard schools throughout the world.” said Hermione.
“I had an inkling...” said Oscar.
“Here’s a map of the most well known. Hogwarts is the focus of the British isles. In Western Europe such as France there’s Beauxabatons. In the east, especially near Russia and Scandinavia is Durmstrang. They teach the dark arts there though. And in America is Ilvermorny. And in Asia is Mahoutokoro...”
Oscar was writing Vonderland over Canada on Hermione’s map.
“Very funny Oscar... I suppose you’ll want to add Springwarts to America too...” Hermione sighed.
Bart was on the phone to Oscar. “Yes... I’m missing you Oz...”
Oscar made his way back to Springfield and eventually the Simpsons house. They had a surprise for him, a new pet.
He was greeted by a green curious bear cub from The Happy Little Elves. It was sniffing his crotch with its big shiny green nose.
“Coool! Just gimme a sec to get changed into my baby stuff.” said Oscar running off joyfully to his room.
The Simpsons sighed.
Lisa was reading Angelica Button while Oscar was in the background wearing just a diaper letting the Curious bear cub sniff his diapered crotch until he wet himself.
“Oz don’t let your curious bear cub sniff you there...” said Lisa.
“I like being sniffed there...” said Oscar.
Lisa growled and tried to read her book but there was a squeaky toy sound, Oscar was squeezing the green bear cub’s nose. Lisa growled annoyed.
Bart was talking to Oscar’s wizard friends, Harry, Ron and Hermione. And from Vonderland, Verne, Gus and Cassie.
“Thanks guys for coming here. Can you babysit Oscar for a while longer... now he’s bugging everyone with his obsession with cartoon bears with big shiny noses...
“We’ll take him...” Cassie sighed.
Oscar was sleeping on a dormitory bed of the boy’s dormitory of Vonderland wearing just a diaper and hugging his teddy bear Teddy.
“Hehehe... Clown Verne..!” he said in his sleep.
Verne smirked. He turned himself into a shiny nosed clown again with a big red shiny nose.
The Simpsons were glad to be rid of Oscar for a while.
“I’ve already almost finished my Angelica Button books. I need a hobby.” said Lisa. “Oh! I know! Ballet dancing!”
“That sounds so sweet!” said Marge.
“Well it’s better than that time I did ballet and the school bullies chased after me when they found out.” said Bart.
“You can find some masculine to do Bart.” said Lisa.
“Already on it. I’m moonlighting as Rambo/Dutch from Predator rand dressing in army clothes and camouflage.” said Bart.
“Hmmmmmm! Just watch what face paint you use sweetie. Remember you’re allergic to some.” said Marge.
“Yes Mom. Nothing with Dermyl Tetracycline...” Bart mentioned a fictional chemical in face paint he was allergic to.
Anyway both ballet episodes sucked.
“Eat my tutu!” said Ballerina Bart from Homer Vs Patty and Selma. Actually he never wore a tutu. He dressed in black as a male ballerina. Yes they exist!
Lisa’s was her taking up smoking and Rambo Bart.
And we don’t speak of Billy and Billy Elliot’s episode.
Meanwhile Hugo read Angelica Button. She was dealing with the main antagonist Lord Evilton, a snake guy. And J.K Rowling and her lawyers.
Oh and Malicious Krubb kills Greystache at one point. Malicious Krubb is Lucius Malfoy essentially and Greystache is Dumbledore.
And Baron Mortdeath burns down the Wand Wood forest so no more wands can be made.
I imagine there’s a basilisk at some point in the story.