All Singing, All Dancing Dark Oscar greatly dislikes singing so Springfield will need to get in touch with their musical side if they want to save the world!
The couch gag is a jab at the treadmill gag from The Jetsons with Homer being hurt by the treadmill carpet. “Marge! Stop this crazy thing!” Homer whines.
The episode starts with Homer and Bart returning home from the video rental store. This is the nineties where VHS tapes were still a widely used medium of media and Blockbuster video rental stores were a thing still...
“Did you get the popcorn?” Marge asked.
“Yep.” said Homer holding a big bag of popcorn.
“Did you get the movie?” Marge asked.
“Well...” Homer replied.
“Well did you or did you not get Waiting to Exhale?” Marge asked.
“The store is low on copies and there’s still a line for Waiting to Exhale. So don’t hold your breath.” said Homer. A studio audience laughs at his pun.
“Well did you get Emma? Did you get Emma! Did you get Emma?” Lisa asked jumping up and down in a hyperactive manner.
“Hehehehe! My little girl...” Homer tousled Lisa’s hair. “No.”
Hugo jabbered in question.
"No my little monster face. We didn't get that." said Homer.
"I wasn't speaking, I was choking on a chicken bone." said Hugo.
“Well what did you get?” Marge asked.
"Something very close, exactly along those lines." said Oscar.
“Paint your wagon starring Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin. It’s gonna be a violent, bloody Texas shooter!” said Homer.
“Cooooool!” said Bart and Oscar.
"Lee Marvin? Clowns Love Haircuts, So Should Lee Marvin's Valet." said Hugo. "It's a backronym I used to revise for a test at school.
Oscar laughed. "Thanks for encouraging me Hugey."
"Oh no..." Hugo sighed.
“Get ready for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage!” said Bart putting the tape in.
"With blood, I bet." said Oscar.
"(deadpan) Yes Oz...." Bart sighed.
“With Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin you know this movie is gonna be violent!” said Homer.
The film started with The Man with No Name riding on a wagon pulled by a horse.
“I’m sure he has a name if people asked him...” said Lisa.
“Shhhhh!” Bart, Oscar and Homer hushed her.
Then a rough sort of gentleman in a Wild West town accosted him.
“That’s a pretty sorry looking wagon you got there, mister.” said the rough man looking for trouble.
“Oh you think so, punk?” said The Man With no Name.
“Oooooh!” Homer, Bart and Oscar eagerly awaited the violence.
“I reckon it could use a lick of paint...” the rough man said to The Man with No Name.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” said The Man with No Name.
Suddenly they start singing a joyful song.
“Ooooooh! Paint your wagon! Paint it up nice and green! Oooooooh paint your wagon!”
“Marge! They’re singing!” Homer gasped. “Why aren’t they killing each other?! Their guns are right there...”
“I think this is a musical...” said Bart.
Oscar was dancing to the silly music.
Then Lee Marvin appeared.
“Oh good! Lee Marvin is here! He’s always drunk and violent!” said Homer.
“Uh, what the hell is going on in my town?” He asked ready for a fight.
“We’re just painting this wagon. You got a problem with that?” The Man with No Name asked.
“As a matter of fact I do...” Lee Marvin replied in cold fury. Homer hoped he’d shoot someone. “You missed a spot.”
“Well grab a brush!” said The Man with No Name.
Suddenly Lee Marvin started singing and joined in with painting the wagon green and singing joyfully.
"Gonna paint your wagon. Gonna paint it fine. Gotta use oil based paint because the wood is pine!" Lee Marvin sang.
“Wow that Lee Marvin sure can do the splits!” said Marge.
“And he’s so dreamy...” said Lisa. Eeeeeew! He’s an old man!
"Don't worry a Dad. Here comes Lee Van Cleef." saud Bart. "Oh wait he's singing too."
Homer turned off the tape. “Oh why did they ruin a perfectly serviceable wagon story with that fruity singing...” Homer whined.
“I thought it was toe tapping fun!” said Bart.
“Singing is the lowest form of communication!” Homer replied strangely hating singing.
“Homer you sing all the time!” said Marge.
“No I don’t! I hate to rhyme!” Homer sang as the dialogue was rhyming and in tune.
“You like musicals don’t you Daaaaad?” Lisa sung.
“No I don’t! I think they’re baaaad! They are fake, and lame, and totally wrooooong!” sung Homer.
“Wait Dad. You’re singing a sooooooong!” Bart sung.
“No! I can’t! I hate that stuff!” Homer sung.
“Now Homer, I’ve had enough! In all of our videos you’re a singing and dancing, entertainment machine...!” Marge sang putting in a tape showing scenes of the Simpsons singing.
First up is Homer singing Baby on Board on the roof of Moe’s with the B Sharps.
“Baby on boaaaard...” Homer, Barney, Apu and Skinner sing. “How I’ve adoooooored...”
“Hellloooooo! Human fly here!” said a Jerry Lewis themed super hero called the Human Fly wantImg attention.
George Harrison was getting in his car looked up at Moe’s where the B Sharps were singing. “It’s been done.” He muttered and got in his car.
Wiggum was vengeful and bitter towards the B Sharps for kicking him out and replacing him after Snake threw a rock at him.
Then an old timer newspaper boy tricked a man into buying a newspaper.
"Hey! There's nothing about the B sharps in here!"
"Ha ha!" The boy laughed as he ran.
Then they show in canon the Spring in Springfield song from Bart After Darkness.
“Who puts the Spring in Springfield!” Everyone sung as Belle slowly won everyone over into accepting her and her burlesque house.
“Wow Homer, you’re singing is laaaaame! It puts Andrew Lloyd Webber to shaaaaame!” Bart sang.
“Why you little!” Homer strangled Bart.
“Now Bart, you too as well... have sang and danced like a girl...” Marge sang.
“Eep!” said Bart with Homer still grasping his neck.
Marge shows when Bart got high on an All Syrup Squishee and sung with Milhouse “Springfield, Springfield!“
“The schoolyard’s out! And shopping mall’s down! Springfield! Springfield!”
“New York! New York!” sung a sailor.
“New York is that a way man!” Bart explained to the sailor.
At the end of the montage Bart blushed as Lisa laughed at Bart. “Now come Bart it could be worse! You could have been holding a puuuuurse!”
“I hate to dance! I hate to sing!” Bart said grumpily while singing and dancing. Uh there’s some sort of moral that singing is fun and the boys are being stubborn about singing even though they have sang... “it’s more of a Milhouse Thiiiiing!”
“But Bart you have always been our Baryshnikov...” Marge sung.
Snake came in with a gun. “Oh dudes! Watch out! I have a Kalashnikov!” said Snake.
The Simpsons sung frightened gasps.
Then the Simpsons decided to sing their freighted dialogue. “A desperate criminal on the run from the law! Please spare my children!” Marge sung.
“Or we’ll have to have mooooore!” Homer sung.
“Oh no! Singing!” Snake fled.
Homer realised singing had its uses and scaring away criminals. “If we spoke he’d have probably stayed...”
Lisa sings about other people in town who carry a tune. ‘From Krusty, Mr Burns to Apuuuuuu!” Lisa sung.
There is a clip of Apu singing Who needs the Kwik e Mart.
Then Krusty singing Send in the clowns.
And finally Mr Burns singing See my vest.
“See my vest! See my vest! See my Veeeeest!”
“See Bart because he sung so loud! We were over heard his evil plan so we could rescue those hounds!” Lisa sung.
“But there is need to make a big song and dance!” But sung and danced still not liking singing and dancing.
“I’m back! Now resume wetting your pants!” Snake sung.
“Okay...” Oscar gulped with a wet patch on his shorts.
“Eeeeew! Oz...!” Bart groaned.
“I hate your annoying singing! It’s just so wrong! Oh no! Now I’m singing a song!” Snake sung.
The Simpsons tried to get him round to the idea of singing.
“Stop! Because of you! I have a tune in my head! And the only way to stop it is to shoot you all dead!” Snake cocked his gun that for some reason is now a pump action shotgun.
“Why did I not shut that window?” Homer groaned.
However Snake was out of Ammo. “Oh no! I am out of Ammo!”
“So now you go kablammo!” sang Oscar blasting him away with a Magnum revolver.
“Even the criminals are beginning to Croooone!” Homer sung.
“Homer, this whole town runs on a tune!” Marge sings.
There are more clips.
The town lead by Lyle Lanley sing Monorail.
"Monoraaaaail! Monoraiiiil! Monoraaaaaaiiil!"
Then the Stonecutters sing We Dooooooo!
“Who subverts the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We doooooo! We doooo!”
Then Homer singing I wear short shorts.
"I wear short shorts!"
"Homer your singing is a sin! You're as miserable as Lee Marviiiiiin!" Bart sang.
"Why you little!" Homer strangled him again.
Then in the canon version of Where Flanders Failed they sing Put on a Happy Face from Bye Bye Birdie.
“Grey clouds are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!”
The Simpsons in the living room are singing along to the tape.
“Come on Hugo. Sing along!” The Simpsons sing.
“No! Hugo no like singing!” said Hugo in a feral manner.
Homer growled. “You’ll sing boy or I’ll!”
“Homer!” Marge scolded him.
The Simpsons except Hugo sung.
“Lisa was very sad.” sung Bart.
“But with a heart felt melody, you made me glad!” sung Lisa hugging Bart.
“Eeeew! Sister cooties!” Bart groaned.
We see clips of Bart singing Lisa! Her teeth are big and green! Lisa! Her breath smells like gasoline!
"Lisa! Her teeth are big and green! Lisa! Her breath smells like gasoline! Lisa! Dah dah Disa! She is my sister, her birthday, I missed Ah!"
Lisa in that story was crying.
It was her birthday but her family really weren’t trying...
Homer went to the nut house.
Bart was being a louse.
”Narrator stop rhyming rhymies. You stupid limey!” said Bart.
And Bart and Leon singing Lisa, it’s your birthday! Happy birthday Lisa.
"Lisa, it’s your birthday! Happy birthday Lisa. Lisa, it’s your birthday! Happy birthday Lisa."
And finally them singing Ben by Michael Jackson.
"Ben, the two of us need look no more. We both found what we were looking for. With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone. And you my friend will see, You've got a friend in me..."
“Enough!!” Dark Oscar yelled. Scaring the Simpsons because of his loud voice. “Singing, Carolling... Warbling and it really is laaaaame! My hatred of singing is greater than Thadius Vent... I have returned! To a greater extent!!” Ironically despite him hating singing he was singing too...
“Uh... Evil Oscar... you’re singing too...” said Bart.
“Grrrrr! Now cut that out!” Dark Oscar yelled at the fourth wall.
"Blblblblbl!" Oscar in ghost form is waggling his tongue while pulling a silly face.
Dark Oscar sighs exasperated.
“Can you be serious for once?!” Dark Oscar yelled.
”Noooooo....” said Oscar lying down in midair as a ghost.
The Simpsons were frightened of Dark Oscar as he seemed even more powerful now.
"Check out his sunken eyes Marge..." said Homer.
“Now Bart I hear you like rock... how about a giant space rock!” Dark Oscar draws in a wayward comet and it plunges towards Earth.
“Oh no! This is bad!” Lisa sang.
“But dear sister, Singing makes him maaaaaad!” Bart sang.
“Aaaaagh! Stop that infernal warbling! It hurts!” Dark Oscar whined.
“Come on Bart! To guarantee Oscar’s return!” Lisa sang.
“We must sing a noctuuuuurrrrnne!” sang Bart.
“Aaaaaagh! No!” Dark Oscar groaned.
“Grey clouds are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!” The Simpsons sing. Suddenly their friends arrive and sing.
“No no no! Aaaaagh!” Dark Oscar screams and dissipates into purple smoke with evil red eyes as regular Oscar stands in his place.
“Whoa... that takes it out of me! I see you got rid of my dark side again. Must have been that singing.” said Oscar.
“Yep.” said Bart.
“Good. Singing is the only thing that’ll stop him. Which is odd because it also riles him... He just can’t stand someone playing a tune...” said Oscar.
“Uh that comet is still heading towards us?” said Lisa.
“You all need to sing. And sing a far better and powerful song. May I suggest we all, on the biggest hill in Springfield sing I’d like to teach the world to sing from that Coca Cola advert with the singing moms...” said Oscar.
“Uh... no I think that might run foul of a few copyrights. We’ve got a great song...” said Bart.
Ned was on a hill with his wife and kids singing Whatever will be, will be... on the biggest hill in Springfield.
"I don't care..." said Oscar.
Bart rolled his eyes.
”Our Lawyers will care though...”
The Simpsons and the rest of town headed to that same hill.
However Dark Oscar in vapour form took the form of a purple giant falcon.
“Yeah... uh I really liked Care Bares when I was little and he really like the evil bits that scared me, like No Heart and that tree monster...
“Uh how do we defeat that thing! It’s massive!” said Bart.
“Imagine it’s poop...” said Homer.
“Homer...” Marge sighed.
“Remember what I said! He hates singing!” said Oscar.
“Laaaaaaaaaaaa!” Everyone sung.
It hurts Dark Oscar asa giant purple falcon but only a little.
“It’s no good!” said Bart.
“Just keep singing! I’ll handle this!” Oscar summoned his drawing book.
“Cliches and tropes. Artists idioms! I summon Teddy to this world!” Oscar summoned Teddy. He was ready to battle.
“Is that all? Teddy can’t fight that over grown pigeon!” said Bart.
“Just keep singing!” said Oscar.
“Cliche and tropes. Artists idioms! Where stood one stands many! Multipy!!” Oscar chanted. Teddy multiplies into hundreds of his kind with different colours of fantastic shades of fur. Basically cartoon bears like the Gummi Bears and the Care Bears do not care about having unrealistic fur colours like purple or blue... this also includes having colourful shiny noses.
Oscar chanted again. “Turn back the unholy darkness that lurks in the night... from the stomach, beams of light!”
“Imma firin mah tummy laser!” Teddy yelled firing a Care Bear Stare tummy beam. Yes the Care Bears fire big ass energy beams from their bellies...
“Eat tummy Kamehamehaaaaaa!” Oscar cheered.
“You guys are just weird...“ said Bart.
Rainbow lasers burnt Dark Oscar as a giant purple falcon.
The er Care Bear Stare rip-off destroyed the falcon form of Dark Oscar.
“He’s gone?” Lisa asked.
“Dissipated... we need to get moving before he returns...” said Oscar.
Bart nodded and they kept going. Hundreds of Teddy’s multicoloured kind followed the yellow skinned people.
They continued heading towards the big hill of Springfield. They had to go through a forest. A bad idea as Dark Oscar’s vapour corrupts the trees into tree monster.
The trees leer with evil faces and grab Bart and Lisa. Teddy tried to warn them before getting grabbed himself by a woody tendril.
Oscar screamed, frightened by evil trees.
“Oz! You have got to get over your fear of that scary tree monster from the Care Bears movie...” Teddy grunted as he struggled.
More Teddies tried to fight the trees but got grabbed.
Oscar was screaming hysterically.
“Oz we don’t have time for you to be frightened! Do something!” Bart grunted.
“Of course! The rule of hilarity! Small light characters are fast and evasive!” said Oscar. He whistled with his fingers in his mouth to alert the Teddies to listen who hadn’t been grabbed by the evil trees. “Listen you lot! Use speedy sprint! Confuse and bewilder those trees!”
“Like in Care Bears!” said a blue Teddy.
“Yes...” said Oscar.
The Teddies made use of their high agility to rush about very fast as colourful blurs. The trees ended up tying themselves up with their own creepers. Dark Oscar was forced to leave them. Returning the trees to normal.
The Teddies freed their brethren and Bart and Lisa by gnawing on the branches holding them.
“Come on! Let’s get out of this forest.” said Oscar.
As they traveled they discussed more musical scenes.
“I may carry tune, but sis your musical montage is not a moment too soooon!” Bart sung.
“Whoopee...” Lisa sighed.
First up was when Lisa needed braces. She was helping Homer’s union by singing a song.
“So gather round children, it’s high time ye learned... about a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns... So we’ll march till we drop, all the girls and the fellas! Or else we’ll fold like umbrellas... so we’ll march day and night! Round the big cooling tower! They have the plaaaant but we have the power... So we’ll march day and night! Round the big cooling tower...”
Then was when Bart swallowed a metal Krusty oh and needed surgery. Lisa was singing Jazz Man with Bleeding Gums Murphy.
“The Jazz man! The Jaaaaazzz maaaan! When a Jazz man testifies, a faithless man believes...”
“Hurry now Bart! Our journey is loooong!” Lisa sung.
“But we’ll make it go quicker by singing a soooooong!” Bart sung.
Hugo rolled his eyes.
They continue towards the great hill.
“Why is everyone coo coo about singing?! You can’t destroy a comet with the power of love! Come on people!” said Mayor Quimby.
“No... but the Power of love is the only way to defeat Dark Oscar. Otherwise he’ll just summon another comet if you destroy it.” said Oscar.
“Well we need something practical to destroy the comet!” said Quimby. “Professor do you have a solution?”
“Well um yes... glavin, flavin...” Frink mumbled in gibberish trying to come up with the idea.
“Quit stalling!! What is your idea?!” A man screamed.
“Will you shut up!” Oscar groaned.
“Um yes. It’s quite simple. We shoot the comet down with missile.
“Uh huh... and what the raining debris...” said Bart.
“Bart that will so small it’ll all burn up in the atmosphere.” said Lisa.
“Uh huh. And when you blast the comet to pieces, my evil counterpart, Dark Oscar will just make Mrs Comet...” said Oscar.
“There’s a Mrs Comet?!” The easily alarmed man screamed.
“No. There is no Mrs Comet...” said Quimby.
“Yeah just like there’s no fifty foot green woman made of copper watching over us all. Sweet lady liberty...” said Oscar.
“This enormous woman will devour us all!” The easily alarmed man screamed.
“Errr um, Oscar stop getting that man over excited...” said Mayor Quimby.
Frink further explains his plans. If the comet hits everyone dies. If it is destroyed. Any debris large enough to survive atmosphere re entry will crush Moe’s tavern. Moe’s is labelled helpfully on the slideshow.
“Oh dear god!” said Moe.
Then Oscar gets a sharpie and draws Mrs Comet as a nagging fish wife comet wearing a gypsy head scarf and nagging her husband the comet.
Bart laughed at his drawing.
“Please, child, please do not draw on my slideshow.” said Frink.
Oscar frowned and put his marker pen away.
Meanwhile a small media company somehow got a licence to use the characters and setting of the A Fist Full of Dollars trilogy and Lee Marvin to make a sappy musical.
“All right, Marge, you've convinced me. There are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings.” said Homer.
“There is something worse.” said Lisa singing.
“And it really does blow.” sang Bart.
“When a long running series does a cheesy clip show!” They all sing.
”Or when you have an episode villain who hates singing and music. Like Thaddeus Vent, My dark side, and that baby programme with the singing pots and pans and flower pots with red noses and spouts...” said Oscar.
”Oz you’re jabbering again...” Bart groaned.
“Oh really? Because that reminds me of...” Oscar jabbered nonsense again.