A Tree Grows in SpringfieldHomer is depressed about his life so Lisa wins him a new Mypad at the school raffle. Homer accidentally breaks his new Mypad and becomes depressed so a mysterious message in tree sap appears on Bart’s tree his treehouse is built in reads “Hope” Telling Homer not to give up on life.
The title gag is Sideshow Bob flying a wooden biplane when it is struck by lightning.
”Bart stop praying to God to kill Sideshow Bob!” Marge scolds Bart during his bedtime prayers as he knelt facing his bed in his green pyjamas.
The Billboard gag is Snake wearing a Santa Hat. It reads “This is not Santa. Do not let him in.” Like hell I won’t!
One Christmas Eve evening. Someone knocks at the Simpsons house.
”Hohohohoho! Like totally this is Santa! I have presents for you little boys and girls! Let me in!” said what was clearly Snake Jailbird’s voice.
”Oh my god! Oh my god! Santa! Okay Santy Claus!” Oscar stupidly let him in. Bart face palmed.
”Like totally this is a robbery! I am so tying you up dudes and stealing from you!” said Snake.
The chalkboard gag is “20 more shoplifting days till Christmas.” Marge furious comes in and drags Bart out by his ear.
”Ow! I thought you had got over me stealing Bonestorm!” Bart whined.
”No dice...” said Marge angry.
The couch gag is the family except Homer sitting on the couch. Suddenly Homer runs in wearing a Jason Voorhees mask swinging a fire axe. The Simpsons cat frightened and a camera takes a photo and this picture is used as the cover of a Tales from the Couch magazine cover.
The episode starts with Homer fast asleep in his hammock. The non magic clone making one.
Oscar jumped in the clone making hammock and jumped out with another clone of himself. They suddenly started snogging each other passionately.
Maggie was taking Homer’s empty cans of Duff and assembling a pyramid out of them.
Homer was dreaming. He dreamed he was playing baseball for the isotopes as a batter. He had a donut on his bat. Mmmmmmmmm.... donuts...
”And here is Homer having an anxiety induced baseball dream worrying about passing a school exam or worrying about work tomorrow.” said a commentator. “And now it is raining fried chicken!” It rains fried chicken because this is a dream...
In reality Maggie finds one of the cans still has beer in it and drinks it. Hehehehe! Then adds it to the pyramid.
”And apparently we are all food...” said a sentient hotdog as commentator. In the box the other commentators are food too. “And apparently I am married to a pork chop and have chicken drumstick children! How is this possible?!“
”Do not question the almighty Homer J Simpson! Lousy Hotdog...” Homer mumbled in his sleep.
”And Steroid using Santa throws the pitch! And it breaks the sky! Bringing in the ocean as reality falls apart!” The ocean and sea creatures and whales falls into the stadium.
Upstairs Oscar is having a nap.
”Oh I can break the sky in dreams too! Narak-nu!” Dark Oscar shatters the sky in a dream with a bolt of red lightning.
”And The players bring out the tarpaulin but it turns into a giant manta ray and whips them with his tail!” said the hotdog.
”And now our sponsor oxygen! Which Homer really needs right now!” said Mr Hotdog as baseball Homer is drowning.
Homer wakes up to rain water in his mouth gargling. He spits out the water and coughs and splutters. “Oh! It’s raining!”
Maggie has finished her pyramid of Duff cans.
”Homer!” Marge calls.
Homer runs in carrying Maggie.
”The roof is leaking!” said Marge.
”Again?! This looks like a job for my not imaginary friend Ray Magimi!” said Homer.
”No! No imaginary friends!” said Marge.
”Awwwww!” Oscar whined. “Sorry Drop Dead Fred...”
Rik Mayal as Drop Dead Fred stormed off.
”Marge! Ray is not imaginary! He’s real! We proved that!” said Homer sharply.
”Anyhoo. The roof is leaking and we have carpet mushrooms!” said Marge.
There were green mushrooms sprouting from the living room carpet. Santa’s little Helper ate one and got really, really high...
Brian Griffin had an idea.
”No Brian! Don’t try shrooms!” Stewie cried.
”Dad! The Jury summons you buried are coming back up!” said Bart.
Jury summons letters rise from the soil...
”And all the jury zombies I buried....” said Oscar as Zombie jurors rise from the grave!!
”We find the defendant, guiltyyyyyyyyyy!”
”No Oz!” Bart whined.
Nibbles the school hamster Lisa had was washed out the house again.
”No Nibbles!” Lisa cried running after the floundering hamster.
”Well the delicious Triscuits are ruined...” said Oscar. The flood soaked the Triscuits making them soggy.
”Nooooooooo!” Homer screamed.
”Wait! If we have a leak, the first room to get flooded would be...” Bart pondered.
Hugo stormed down the stairs in his ragged shirt and frayed shorts ranting and yelling incoherently with wet hair and clothes.
”Oh great! The attic monster is mad... Well I’m sorry Freak but you’ll have to sleep in a leaky attic all night!” Homer sighed.
In the kitchen Grampa applied Vaseline to the holes in the ceiling. Then he stuck an American flag in one of the sealed holes and saluted it.
“Homer we cannot live like this! You need to get this leak fixed!” said Marge.
Homer sighed. “In a time of crisis like this, I need time alone for quiet reflection and contemplation....” He put on a jacket and went out.
”I think he’s heading to Moe’s...” said Oscar.
Homer walked past the church. The marquee read, “Your refuge in a sea of trouble. Then rain water filed up the marquee board and washed away the letters.
”Haw Haw!” Noah sailing in a giant wooden ark with two of every animal laughed.
Homer went to Moe’s and was depressed.
”Homer I haven’t seen that melancholic expression before! Looks sort of like a Charlie Brown face with a squiggly head brow.” said Moe.
Homer was making a Charlie Brown face. He wiped off the squiggly forehead brow.
”Moe. I am in an abusive relationship with life. It keeps beating me down and I’m too cowardly to leave it...” said Homer.
”You know it’ll only take me ten minutes of video editing on my laptop to change what you said to be about you living in an abusive relationship with your wife...” said Oscar.
”No more YouTube pooping the episodes!” said Homer. “I wonder if I can drink myself to death...”
“Well ya can’t... you’re alcohol tolerance is too high and your tolerance of homosexuality and certain races and religions is too low...” said Moe.
A new fellow was drinking and was clearly extremely drunk. “I think Homer is depressed...” He collapsed overnight the bar and drooled while in a drunken stupor.
Moe had an idea. “You need professional help!”
He threw a party and invited Duffman.
“Oh yeah! Some one is down in the dumps!” said Duffman.
”Life is too fragile...” Homer sighed. “One minute you’re lying in your hammock drinking beer... the next you’re in here... drinking beer...”
“Homer your cold bleak attitude is bringing an icy chill down... Ah screw it! I quit! Jeannette, girls... get your own rides home!” Duffman quit and stormed off home.
”Oh that’s just great Homer! You made Duffman quit you ol misery guts!” Moe ranted as he wiped down the bar with his rag.
Homer sighed. “I have a leaky roof to fix...”
Wiggum clamped Homer’s pink car.
”Awwww... Chief, please.... I’ve had a rotten day...” Homer sighed.
”Yeah well that makes Wario very happy...” said Wiggum.
”Hahahaha! Have a rotten day!” said Wario.
”I’ll ride you home on my invisible motorcycle.” said Wiggum. They rode home on an invisible motorcycle.
Homer got home to find someone turned the sprinklers on and left them on. He turned them off but the pipe bursts and splashes water in his face.
Homer enters the house to find his family dressed and ready to leave to go somewhere.
”We’re all going to the school fundraiser. That includes you Homer.” said Marge.
”Oooooooh! Can’t this day get any worse?!” Homer whined.
”Actually we’re all leaving you because you wouldn’t fix the damn roof!” said Oscar.
”No we’re not Oscar...” Marge sighed.
”The dog had mumps...” said Lisa.
”Dogs can’t get mumps!” said Homer.
”Then explain that...” said Bart.
The dog had swollen cheeks from mumps.
”The vet says it will cost $800 to treat.” said Marge.
”D’oooooooh!” Homer groaned.
They arrive at the school.
Western banjos are playing.
The banner said “School Fundraiser. Because your elderly neighbours are cheap skates.”
”Winfields!!!” Homer shook his fist at the Winfields.”
”Uh they moved out ages ago... in season three...” said Bart.
”Yeah but we then found out Mr Flanders was an old aged pensioner in Viva Las Flanders when Dad and Mr Flanders got Vegas wives...” said Hugo.
inside there is a western themed square dance hence the banjos.
”And Kazooies...” said Oscar playing a kazoo.
“No!” Hugo snapped and slapped him across the back of his head.
Cleatus and his cousins were playing on banjos. Willie as a cowboy painted a misspelt sign reading “Sapport yore skool!”
“I like your chaps Willie.” said Lisa politely.
”Ach! My pants are ripped!” said Willie.
”Willie! That sign is riddled with spelling errors!! Write a new one!” said Skinner angrily at seeing the spelling errors.
”Ach! Willie never went to school!” Willie whined.
Lovejoy was taking part in a silent auction.
”Silent auction? Those just encourage hovering...” Marge sighed.
”Silent auction my butt! I hate silence!” said Bart grabbing a megaphone.
”Okay we $50 dollars from Reverend Lovejoy for this Mountain train set! Anything higher than a fifty? Anyone? You there a sixty! Seventy dollars from Reverend Lovejoy!”
”Bart stop that! It’s not that kind of auction...” Marge confiscated his megaphone.
Edna was dressed as Sacajawea.
”Now I don’t care much for costumes Edna, but I love that feather in your hair!” said Ned.
”Oooooh Ned! That’s so sweet! Yet it doesn’t make up for the last fundraiser when you disliked my mermaid costume...” said Edna.
Skinner looked forlorn and sad.
”Well Seymour, there goes the most beautiful woman you laid eyes on...” Skinner said sadly to himself. He was dressed as a cowboy and went on stage because he was doing the raffle.
”Howdy folks! Have we got a rootin tootin night...”
”Skinnneeeeeer! These people want to get home! Talk properly! And your funny cowboy accent is upsetting Rich Texan!” Chalmers yelled.
”Arrrrr! You’re making fun of my Texan heritage! That makes me so doggone mad!” said Rich Texan the rich Texan.
Skinner sighed and introduced the prizes.
”Here are the prizes no one is interested in... a billboard of signed copies of your children’s art work...” There were scribbly childish pictures apart from a lovely Monet Lily pad pond painting by Martin.
“A spaghetti dinner with the Van Houtens...” said Skinner. There was a photo of Kirk and Luanne making a spaghetti dinner and arguing. Milhouse was trying to cut his wrist with a butter knife...
Oscar screamed with hysterical laughter.
”Oz that is not funny...” Bart sighed.
”Kirk’s spaghetti dinner?! Why you blue haired jessie! That’s what stopped ye from saving my life when I was on fire in Treehouse of Horror VI!” Willie screamed. He turned into Freddy Krueger Willie.
”Oh shazbot...” Bart sighed.
“And the star prize, A brand new Mapple Mypad!” said Skinner.
“Woooooow! I can cyber bully on the school bus!” said Kearney.
”Hey remember when me getting a cellphone was a big deal?!” said Moe.
”No because there was never a Moe gets a cell phone episode....” said Oscar. There is now!
“Dad I bought you a raffle ticket for that Mypad.” said Lisa.
”Awwww! Thanks sweetie but I’ll never win, That’s just tooth fairy money down the drain...” said Homer.
”And your dad wouldn’t appreciate the Mypad... he’s already broken three including tearing the Mypad ultra thin to pieces like it was made of paper...” said Oscar.
”Shut up boy...” Homer grumbled.
”I’ll never win, some jerk will get it...” Homer sighed.
“And the winner is... Homer J Simpson.” said Skinner.
”Kill him!! I mean, Woohooooooo!” Homer cheered and collected his prize.
Homer delivered a speech.. “I had a horrible day today...”
”Three cheers for Homer!” said Carl.
”Homer! Homer! Homer!”
”And um.... Free Tibet! You heard me! Free him now!” said Homer.
”Dad... Tibet is a country... not a person...” Lisa sighed.
Suddenly Chinese secret police stormed the stage and arrested Homer. “Tibet will never be free! You Amelican dog!”
Lisa sweat dropped.
The scene fades as banjos play the Simpsons theme.
At home, in the kitchen, Homer is miraculously freed from the Chinese police and is sat in the kitchen with his new Mypad. Maggie turns it on. It makes a tone.
Steve Mobs appears on the screen.
“Greetings, I am Steve Mobs. Welcoming you from beyond the graaaaaaave!” Because Steve Jobs is dead in real life...
Homer screamed. “Ah! My Mypad is haunted!!”
”No dad! Steve Mobs prerecorded that video shortly before his untimely death when the Mypods briefly enslaved humanity...” said Lisa.
Homer looked at his Mypad upset for poor Steve Mobs.
”I’ve left a half eaten apple outside one of your many Mapple stores... the greatest tribute of them all.” said Homer.
”Please don’t leave half eaten apples outside of my stores...” said Steve Mobs.
Then Steve advertised the Mapple Mypad. “You have in your hand a large expensive smartphone that can’t call anyone!” You can face time you rich dead idiot! “Now hit submit to buy all our future products... Yes... we’re gonna make a lot of money...”
”Submit. Submit! Go on! Submit!” said Steve Mobs.
”Uh I don’t know...” said Homer.
”Submit!!” Ansem the seeker of darkness yelled.
”Damn it Billy Zane! Get outta here!” Homer yelled.
”Or perhaps you’d prefer something more from let’s say... Hewlett-Packard...” said Steve Mobs.
”Mmmmmm... A4 sketchbooks and ink pens...” said Oscar drawing a picture of Teddy, his shiny nosed cartoon teddy bear creature.
Homer screamed. “Submit! Submit!”
”Yes! Yesssshhhhhh! Yes! Mwuhahahaha!” said Steve Mobs laughing evilly.
”He’s nothing but pure evil!” Oscar remarked.
Homer took his Mypad to bed.
Marge read The Girl Who Reignited Her Tattoo. With added Daniel Craig...
Homer hmmmed happily as he played on his Mypad.
”Well you certainly seem happier after winning that adult etch a sketch.” said Marge.
”MagnaDoodles are better...” said Oscar.
”Oh yeah, you can hold it horizontally or vertically or not at all...” said Homer. “And it’s got all these games or apps on it! Like Tapped Out! Where I accidentally blow up all of Springfield while falling asleep at work and Lisa and I have to help rebuild the town from scratch...” Homer sighed. “And with the latest Halloween update the attic monster finally gets a sequel... you happy now Narrator?!” No! Hugo for canon!
Homer continues. “There’s the virtual stapler app. Uh it doesn’t actually staple things... just makes a noise and never runs out of staples. Until you tell it to.”
“And there’s a seventies moustache app! Hey Marge! It’s Sonny Bono! Watch out for that tree!”
”Sonny Bono was never in George of the Jungle...” said Oscar from the spare room.
“Shut up!” Homer yelled. He then went through the moustaches “So which do you prefer me lady? Tom Selleck, Rollie Fingers or the Pringles man?”
”I’ve always thought The Pringles Man had the kindest eyes...” Marge sighed romantically.
“Are you doing an app behind my back?!” Homer gasped.
”Submit.... Submit...” said the late Steve Mobs on Homer’s Mypad.
”Submit!!” Ansem yelled from the wardrobe.
Homer sighed and clicked submit on his Mypad.
Homer went to Moe’s. He was the only barfly in today.
”Well if it isn’t Mr Misery guts...” said Moe annoyed.
Homer hums cheerfully while playing on his Mypad.
”What’s cheered you up?” Moe asked. “Oh you got another Mapple device... Homer how do you keep affording those...” Moe asked.
”I won this at a school raffle.” said Homer.
”Peeeeeyeeew! When you’re alone we can really smell you!” Moe groaned.
”But we’re not alone! Oscar’s narrating...“ said Homer. Oscar was sat at the bar with a buzz cola typing up the episode on a laptop. “There’s Jeremy Irons as your rag/security blanket....”
“Please Oscar! I’ve been in more things than Disney’s the Lion King...” the talking bar rag whined.
”Do the line...” Oscar said frowning.
”Long live the king...” said the bar rag.
”And I’m FaceTiming Lenny!” said Homer.
”I’m skydiving! And I’m on the phone to Carl!” said Lenny.
”Yeah but you two aren’t spending money on booze in my bar! What’s the point?!” said Moe.
”And the late Steve Mobs is with us!” said Homer closing his FaceTime session and app.
”Submit....” said Steve Mobs.
Homer is then playing Angry Birds, the Russian Reversal version. So Angry Pigs basically. While driving!!
”Homer pay attention!” Marge yelled.
“Put that down! We’re being audited!” Marge explained. Turns out Homer was on a driving simulator app of someone playing on a Mypad while driving. Mmmmmmm... Mypad inception...
Homer and Marge were at the IRS being tax audited or something.
”The IRS?! Booooooooooo!” Homer booed the IRS clerk they were speaking to.
”Oh boo yourself...” the man sighed.
”Homer, a lot of people don’t like the IRS but we all have to pay our taxes...” Marge sighed.
The Joker screamed.
”Nyaaaaaaaagh! I’m crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS?! No sireeeee!” He screamed. Probably because tax evasion was how they caught Al Capone. Also tax evasion is a federal crime so you’d go to real jail, aka Blackgate. Not Arkham which is easy to escape from.
And at another booth Rockwell was singing. “Who is watching me? The IRS?!”
”Yes Rockwell... We’re always watching you...” said an IRS clerk.
”Somebody’s watching meeeeeeeeee! Or is it just a dream?” Oscar sung while head banging.
“Don’t worry Marge, the old stupid moustache will win him over!” Homer had on his Mypad a lopsided moustache. “Look at me! I’m stupid!” He said in a silly manner.
”Is that the Mypad you’re claiming as a business expense...” the IRS clerk had a lopsided stupid moustache.
“I’m standing by that...” said Homer.
Homer was at the plant at his work terminal but was playing on his Mypad.
”Simpson! Unhand your Edison slate and bring your gold brickery to a caesura!” Mr Burns scolded him.
Homer pleaded to Oscar.
”Nuh uh... Burnsie has a point here... you’re at work! Put your toy away and get on with your job! You ever see me playing my 3DS at the book store?!” said Oscar.
Homer sighed and put on the Rosetta store app to translate jargon to English and typed in Mr Burns’s jargon and translated.
”Put your Mypad away and get back to work!” said the app.
”Sorry Mr Burns...” Homer apologised.
The app translated that as; “Your remonstrances are a welcome boon and will surely redouble my diligence!”
“Excellent!” said Mr Burns.
”Awesome!” said the translation.
”Woohoo!” Homer cheered.
”Pip pip!” said the translation.
Homer then took his kids to the zoo. Oscar was with them.
”Over here, Dad!”
”Dad! Check this out!” Homer was bombarded with cries from Bart, Lisa and Hugo asking him to pay attention to them as they ran about the animal enclosures. However he was too busy playing on his Mypad.
In a parallel universe. Or Matt reusing a scene for later episodes... A Homer was dealing with Maggie and Homer Jr aka Hoju fighting and Another Homer was distracted playing Peekimon Get! on his Myphone.
”Dad! A mother giraffe is giving birth!” said Lisa.
”Dad I’m walking on the wall around the lion pit...” said Bart balancing himself as he tightrope walked around the wall of the lion pit.
Homer was too busy playing on his Mypad.
”Dad I’m doing something dangerous....” said Bart.
”(Giraffe giving birth)”
”Eeeeeeew!” Oscar groaned.
”Giraffity!” said a Glenn Quagmire giraffe baby.
”Uh... something is not right about that giraffe...” said Hugo.
Homer was still looking at his Mypad.
”Dad the baby giraffe is taking its first steps!” yelled Lisa.
”Dad, I’m walking on my hands! The lions look like they want to eat me!” said Bart. The lions and lionesses were wagging their tails ready to pounce.
“Kids will you pipe down?! I am trying to get Churro Chaser to show me where the freshest Churros are!” said Homer.
”Dad! Pay attention to your children!!” Lisa yelled.
”No! Let him be neglectful!” Bart argued.
Homer sighed. “Ugh... okay...” Lisa was by the giraffes glaring at him, Hugo was fighting with a seal over a fish he wanted to eat. Bat was being hugged by a sleeping lion.
”Aaaaaaaaw! That’ll be my screensaver!” said Homer. He took a photo.
Then Bart was gone and the lion was licking his leg.
Bart arrived missing an arm. “It’s okay he only ate my arm...“
”Nyahahahaha! Just kidding!” Bart put his arm back through his sleeve revealed his it to pretend it had been bitten off.
Homer growled “Why you little!” and threw Bart into the lion pit. Bart screamed and ran around being chased by hungry lions.
”That reminds me of when the Romans tried to feed me to lions...” said Greek Hero Oscar in a chiton and sandals.
At home, Homer was sat in the green armchair playing on his Mypad. He is conducting while Tchaikovsky’s Pathetique plays. It was really pathetic...
I’ll get my coat...
Marge arrived with Maggie. “Homer, do you want to read to Maggie before she goes to sleep?”
Maggie has a book.
”What’s this?! A paper read a majig?! We’re not cavemen Marge!” said Homer.
The fire in the fireplace crackled.
Homer ran up to it screaming like a caveman and tapping it with the poker.
Marge sighed. “Homer please. It’s just a few minutes of reading until she nods off! Then you have to read to Eric...” said Marge.
Baby Eric was crying while Bart tried to change his diaper and was grimacing because such a job was disgusting.
”Sweetie in the future all You’ll need is technology...” said Homer.
”Thanks a lot, Dad in the past!” Future Lisa yelled as she sat in a futuristic looking kitchen at a mushroom table with Zia, who was plugged into a laptop and fast asleep.
”Homer don’t you think you’re putting all your eggs in one basket?” Marge asked.
”What would you have me do?! Put one egg in a basket each?!” Homer replied.
”Hmmmmmmm! I guess I’ll have to stop using that turn of phrase...” Marge sighed.
”A bird in your hand is not worth two in a bush!! That’s one more bird! Therefore worth twice as much!!” Homer replied.
Marge sighed and handed him Maggie and went over and fetched Eric and handed him to Homer too.
”Now let’s see what apps are appropriate for babies... Krusty’s Kosher Karnival... Worss with Enemies.... Don’t Burn the Toast... Lenny Dykstra’s Prison Break... Prison Break... Oh! Pizza Clock!” said Homer. There was a pizza making app.
Hopefully it involves Tobey Maguire Peter Parker and tree stump trolls that are fussy about what pizza you give them but don’t tell you what it is they didn’t like on the pizza!
”Dough base, sauce, cheese, toppings. Dough base, sauce, cheese, toppings. Dough base, sauce, cheese, toppings...” Homer repeats ad nauseam.
”Base, sauce, cheese, toppings... Are you two sweeties tired yet? What the?!” Homer found himself alone at work at his station. “How long was I playing for?!”
He plays through the pizza app while at dinner at Luigi’s with his family.
”Base, sauce, cheese, toppings... Mamma Mia, that’s how you do it?! That’s ah so easy! What was I doing wrong?!” said Luigi. We pan over to find he served Legs the gangster some sort of monstrosity that was supposed to be a pizza.
”Wait, you run an Italian restaurant, yet you don’t know how to make a pizza.....” Bart asked flabbergasted.
”My cooking, is not so good!” Luigi lamented.
Homer then took Maggie for a walk in her buggy while still on his Mypad...
“Dough, sauce, cheese, toppings. Dough, sauce, cheese, toppings.... Doooooooooough!” He fell down an open sewer. He had landed on the sewer kerb and was clearly injured. His Mypad lied in pieces, smashed to bits by the fall...
A sewer gator arrived.
”Flushy get help...” Homer groaned.
Homer found himself in a hospital bed.
Dr Hibbert was by his bedside. “Homer you’re gonna be alright, you just had a bad fall, however the bad news is your Mypad did not survive the fall...” He handed over a specimen tray with the smashed remains of the Mypad and computer chips and motherboards etc.
Homer screamed with anguish. “It still had 88% of its charge!”
“This the part of my job I hate the most.... talking to crazy people...” Dr Hibbert sighed.
Homer’s family arrived to find him crying about his Mypad.
“Oh Homie...” Marge sighed.
Dr Hibbert went off to bother patients. “Are you the kid off YouTube that was high on laughing gas? Are you? Are you? Etc.”
“Doctor please! I’m dying of pancreatic cancer...” a man groaned.
Eventually Homer was discharged. He took his smashed remains of a Mypad with him.
He tried to get it to play one more video but it couldn’t as the screen stuttered then went black.
Homer prayed to God to cut him a break in life even though he didn’t invest in gadget insurance.
Bart cracked up laughing when he heard Dad say he didn’t insure the Mypad because he thought God might deem that evil.
Homer expected a chorus of amen from his family as in canon but he got this...
”Ooooooooooooooommmmm! Give me five minutes... (Five minutes pass)” Lisa exhales “And done... The Buddha is contemplating on your plea Dad.”
Bart held up his crucifix on a chain of prayer beads. “Amen!” And did a crucifix.
”Thank you Mr Imaginary sky person who doesn’t exist...” said Hugo.
”Right that’s it! You’re all going to bible camp!!” Homer yelled.
Flushy, a full grown bull crocodile was lumbering around a hospital ward! This is madness!
The next morning at breakfast.
”Homer come quickly! There’s a miracle outside!” said Ned at the kitchen window.
”Okay Ned... keep your pants on...” said Homer tired in the morning.
”Oh I will! Then at night I take them off under the bed covers...” said Ned.
”Uh.... okay...” said Homer.
”Anyway come outside!” said Ned.
”Why? Is Auntie Mabel outside with her plane?” Oscar asked.
Bart slapped him for being stupid.
”Uh no...” said Ned.
”Has my Mypad risen?!” Homer asked.
”No it’s still buried where you left it...” said Ned.
Homer went outside with Marge.
”Here it is Homer!” said Ned. Bart’s tree his treehouse is in had the word Hope written on it.
”Oh look at me! I turn sunlight into oxygen and complex sugars!” said Homer sarcastically.
”Finally Dad takes note of all the science I’ve yelled at him...” Lisa sighed.
”No look closer...” said Ned.
Homer saw the word Hope. “Hope?! Is that like Jesus on a tortilla or George Washington on a Dollar Bill?”
”Dad that last one about George Washington on the dollar bill is not a miracle... it’s a common fact every American should know who is on our money...” said Lisa.
”D’oh! Smart ass kids!” Homer groaned.
“Well I can say at least it’s written in something nice like tree sap and not blood, unlike some miracles... ‘ahem!’ Passover ‘ahem!’” said Marge.
”I am the angel of death!!” Oscar yelled.
Bart face palmed.
”But what does this mean Ned?” Homer asked.
”It means if there’s any flat tires in your life, God’s there carrying a spare. To slowly get you to the auto repair garage... basically have hope!” said Ned.
Homer licked the message on the tree.
”Homer! Don’t eat the miracle!” Ned said sharply because that annoyed him.
”Okay... I’ll just eat the body of God... that makes sense!” said Homer.
”Mmmmmmm! Sacralicious...” Oscar groaned and drooled.
Homer went to Moe’s.
”Oh! You seem to have perked up after losing your Mypad! You look at ease Homer! Like you witnessed a miracle!” said Moe.
”I did! This, is hope.” Homer showed a photo of the word Hope written on a tree.
”Well gee, I was expecting something more along the lines of Jesus’s face on a tortilla.” said Moe. “Well I haven’t seen such cheerful guys in my bar since that time I turned this place into an ice cream bar...” said Moe. There was a photo of Moe running an ice cream parlour with bored children sitting around with party hats looking bored.
”What happened?!” Homer asked, figuring that since he was sat in a liquor bar, it failed like all of Moe’s schemes.
”Spongebob happened...” said Moe. Spongebob presumably ate loads of ice cream and got drunk on it/an ice cream headache. “Anyway can I get you another beer? What you having?”
”Duff Adequate, Moe.” said Homer. Moe opened the metal lid off of a small brown bottle of Duff. Homer drank it and got tipsy.
”Hey Moe... how comes some beer is in brown bottles and some are in green?! What’s the deal with that?!”
”Yeah it’s stupid...” said Moe bored with Homer’s drunken ramblings.
At church Homer interrupted Lovejoy’s sermon.
”And today’s sermon is...”
”Reverend I have something more important to talk about! It’s hope!” said Homer.
”Fine... I’ll just go off to my rock climbing class early...” said Lovejoy revealing underneath his robes he was wearing rock climbing gear.
”I’m here to talk about hope. Hope is the isotopes finally winning a game... Hope is...”
Someone’s mobile was making wolf whistles. Everyone muttered and gasped looking round. Oscar was reading a text as his phone let out wolf whistles each time a new text came through.
”Oops! Bart has a lot to tell me about what he’s doing at cathedral right now...” said Oscar embarrassed.
”Anyway ignoring Oscar’s sexist text message sound... Hope is... Hope is... and you can put your hotdog there....” Homer went on about what hope is. “It is the sticky brown miracle on a tree outside my house! Follow me people!”
“Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!” said Mavis the token black character in church now the Hibbert and Carl had gone to the first A.M.E church. She’s a typical uppity sassy black woman who attends church regularly.
Homer had an imagination spot with Hope signs such as Bob Hope. Mmmmmm! Bob Hope...
”Hope is all around me!”
He then arrives home, goes to the backyard and sets up a white picket fence around Bart’s tree and sets up a lawn light to shine upon the word Hope written in tree sap. “And here’s your miracle.”
We pan to various groups of faiths. Homer’s usual array of church buddies such as the Van Houtens, the Wiggums, Lenny, The Spuckler family, Seymour Skinner and his mother, Patty and Selma, Edna Krabappel and Marge, Hugo Maggie and Eric. Marge held her two babies in her arms.
Next were catholic’s in Springfield. They were Bart Simpson, Lisa’s ex boyfriend Colin she never actually dumped just she cheats on him... Father Liam Neeson/Sean and a Catholic priest who once gave Homer his last rites in the Frying game before Homer explained he was Protestant. Bart was holding a sign with some Latin on it.
Next were the Jews. Krusty and his father and Mr Teeny. Rabbi Krustofski was holding a banner reading Springfield in English and in Hebrew. There was also Crazy Old Jewish man, some random Jewish old man wearing a skull cap and Dolph, because he is Jewish apparently in canon. There was also a lady in a summer hat. Also in my fanon there was Jurkle, Oscar’s ginger haired, geeky glasses wearing nerd Jew friend. And some Orthodox Jews with dreadlocks and wide brimmed black hats and black clothes and beards. And Hoju the homosexual Jew.
Next to them were all the black people! The Hibberts, Carl, Lou, Drederick Tatum and Mavis held a sign reading “First A.M.E church of Springfield. A black gospel Lordy Lordy church.
And finally there was Lisa, Apu’s family, Bashir and his parents and um Comic Book Guy were in other.
”Other?! Dad that’s really ignorant! Just because I’m a Buddhist, Apu and his family are Hindus and Bashir and his parents are Muslim!” Lisa ranted.
”Shame on you Homer!” Apu snapped.
Homer sighed. “There’s not enough of you to have separate groups for you and my garden is too small anyway!”
”Cleatus what does that word say?” Brandine asked her husband and possibly son Cleatus.
”Now spell it out like the social worker told us too. Huckleberry, Overbite, Picklefoot, Edumacation. It says Hope!” said Cleatus.
“Just like Hope Floats! That Sandra Bullock movie I wrote!” said Brandine.
”No you did not!!” yelled Steven Rogers. “I wrote that film!”
Kent Brockman arrived in a sneaky manner. Spoilers, he’s the antagonist and is trying to disprove the miracle.
”Next you’ll be saying I didn’t write Bridget Jones’s Diary!” Brandine yelled at Steven Rogers.
“This is Kent Brockman of Channel six, here to disprove this miracle... the idiotic things people believe in...” He sighed.
”Sure, Mr News anchor who swore allegiance to giant space ants as our glorious new insect overlords!” said Oscar.
”Silence!” shouted a red giant space ant as it whipped him.
”Ow!” Oscar whined.
”Where were you when everyone thought I found an angel?!” Lisa ranted.
”Or when butane gas made everyone at Ned’s Praiseland Amusement park act funny and have visions!?” Bart chipped in.
”Fine... Lunatics....” Kent stormed off.
At Moe’s Barney asks Kent why he has run miracles and disprove things.
Kent explains in a story as a child he went backstage to interview Mickey Mouse, but he was actually interviewing a theme park mascot who was a shady yellow toothed, sagging eyelids type five o clock shadow gruff fella who, when he is on his break, the mouse is dead. Young Kent’s hair turned white with an eerie tone.
Bart discover he could do this to everyone by breaking their child like beliefs in things.
”Mickey isn’t real...” he said and Barney Gumble’s hair turned white. “Santa’s not real...” Oscar’s hair turned white. “The tooth fairy isn’t real...” Milhouse’s hair turned white.
At the Simpsons while Kent was busy in the backyard trying to disprove Homer’s miracle Channel six had Bumblebee Man anchor the news. Despite his antics last time...
Bart groaned as he didn’t like the bumblebee man show.
”Oh no! He bought his own chimp!!” Krusty yelled. Mr Teeny and Mexican chimp start fighting.
”Coooool!” said white haired Oscar as there a chimp screeches from the TV.
”Wait, your chimp’s a girl?! Oh wait that’s a butt...” said Krusty.
Kent then called in to broadcast from the Simpsons. He explained he had proof the miracle was phoney. Using footage from a thermal night vision camera he shows amongst Lenny being electrocuted by an electrical pylon, A figure in Homer’s backyard stumbling about before heading to the miracle tree and writing the word Hope on it in store brand maple syrup.
”And that’s another of Kent’s Cases Closed.” said Kent.
”I would have made those Cs into Ks, Kent...” said Krusty.
”Yes but then the acronym would be KKK and that’s really offensive!” said Kent.
In Moe’s the tree people angry at their miracle being a hoax burnt their hats. “Let’s burn our hats!” They made a small fire in Moe’s to burn the hats.
”Good thing there’s no actual alcohol in here, or this place would ignite!” said Moe.
Homer sadly sat by his miracle tree depressed all day and night.
”Homer won’t you come in?” Marge sighed.
”I don’t know what to believe anymore... Maybe it’s time I called Satan... he’s a 212 number right?”
”No! Don’t call Satan at this hour! You’ll annoy him!” said Marge.
”Okay... I’ll call him tomorrow...” Homer sighed.
”Homer so what if your miracle wasn’t real... Hope isn’t a tree sap message from God or a tablet device... the hope you felt was real!”
”Oh Marge... I used to think your blue hair was made of cotton candy. Now I know it’s a solid loaf of brains...” said Homer.
”Oooooooh Homie... you have such a way with food...” Marge sighed.
”I still think Tombi’s (Tomba’s) pink hair is cotton candy...” said Oscar.
”Stop eating my hair!” Tombi yelled.
“Come on Homer, let’s go inside...” said Marge. They went inside as Oscar annoyed Tombi.
”Who do ya think write that message?” Homer asked.
”Does it matter? All it means is someone out there is looking out for you...” said Marge.
That night we learn the mysterious syrup message writer is Homer himself sleep walking and writing Hope on a tree in syrup and drinking the syrup in his sleep.
The episode closes in Heaven where God has a Mypad.
”You know we have a newer model just released.” said Steve Mobs in heaven.
“Yes but I only got this three months ago...” said God.
”Yeah we do that a lot. And yet somehow I still end up here and I’m your boss...” said Steve Mobs.
”Can I get Christmas off? It’s my kid’s birthday.” asked God.
”No!” said Steve Mobs.
We then cut to a musical montage of Dean Martin’s That’s Amore, featuring Funzo, Burly Kitchen Roll, Malibu Stacy and Bubbles from Happy Little Elves. There is a city of advertising logos and Malibu Stacy and Bubbles the elf driving. They stop at the lights and flirt. Malibu Stacy giggles. However Burly rudely shunts his orange car out of the way and poses for Malibu Stacy, wooing her.
This story of romance and rampaging giant monsters, Funzo was smashing up the town and firing eye lasers, had a musical montage of Dean Martin’s That’s amore.
Wheeeeeen the the moon meets you eyes like a big pizza pie! Like a big pizza pie! That’s amore! That’s amore!
Wheeeeeeen the stars start to shine like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore! That’s amore!
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll sing, "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay
Tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella...
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta e fasule, that's amore
When you dance down the street with
A cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming, signore
Scusami, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore! That’s amore!
”Okay, I have got to stop eating cheese before I go to bed...” Homer winced as he looked about the city of logos being torn apart by a giant Funzo and a love triangle between Malibu Stacy, Burly and Bubbles the elf.
”Wheeeeeeeeeen the moon hits your eye! Like a big pizza pie! That’s amore! That’s amore!
Wheeeeeeeeeen the stars start to shine like you’ve had too much wine! That’s amore! That’s amore!
”Wheeeeeeeeeeen An eel lunges out, and takes a bite of your snout! That’s a Moray! That’s a Moray!
Homer rolled his eyes as Burly ran away like a coward and Bubbles catapulted himself and landed on Funzo’s battery pack and took out his batteries. Funzo lost power and shut down.
Malibu Stacy and Bubbles the elf fell in love and lived happily ever after.