A Streetcar Named Marge Marge joins a drama class playing a musical version of A Streetcar Called Desire but the teacher, voiced by Jon Lovitz, is horrible and strict. And Homer is ignoring her again or whinging about his pudding can. They were writing how Marge gets into her role by seeing Homer’s selfishness like Marlon Brando’s.
Meanwhile Maggie has to stay at a nursery with a cruel matron who won’t allow pacifiers and initiates a Great Escape! Mmmmm Richard Attenborough... And Oscar goes batshit insane over his obsession with Marlon Brando.
The Chalkboard gag is “My name is not Dr Death...”
The couch gag is the couch turning into an octopus monster and eating the Simpsons.
The episode starts with the kids and Homer blankly watching a catwalk fashion show about perfumes. It is hosted by Troy McClure.
“Kids I’m going out to my audition so I’ve bought Krusty TV Dinners.” said Marge.
“Where you going again?” Homer asked.
“Hmmmm! I told you twenty times tonight Homer! I’m going to audition for a musical remake of A Streetcar named Desire.” said Marge.
“Cooooool! That’s got Marlon Brando in it!” Oscar cheered.
“Eyes on the screen boy...” Homer nagged for him to pay attention to the TV.
“Homer... I’m getting square eyes and I’m trying to show Marge I’m interested in her musical because you’re not!” Oscar whined.
“D’ooooooh!” Homer sighed. He turned off the TV.
“Hey!!” Bart and Lisa whined.
“Sorry kids. But your mother has something to say...” Homer sighed.
“Homer you only have to tear your eyes away from that dreadful thing for one minute!” Marge nagged. “I said I am auditioning for a musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire.” said Marge.
“What’s that?” Homer asked.
“It’s a movie...” Marge sighed.
“With Marlon Brando in it!!” Oscar cheered. He put on a Don Vito voice. “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
“Hmmmm... Marlon doesn’t do anything Godfather like in this film Oscar. He plays a selfish ignorant brother in law to Blanche DuBois, a French American living in Downtown New Orleans in an Apartment Block like we used to when Bart was just a baby.” said Marge.
“And he’s not likely to be in this production Oscar... It’s just everyone in town auditioning...” said Lisa.
”Kallae Kistnae...” Oscar hissed in gibberish.
The Simpsons just sighed exasperated with his bouts of gibberish.
Later Marge strangely didn’t go out and just read her lines while everyone watched TV.
“Stanley please stop or I’ll call Stella!” Marge sang
Then she was on the family piano playing and singing.
“Marge keep it down!” Homer whined.
“Homer! I have to rehearse!” Marge nagged.
“Rehearse? Ha! That’s all you use your piano for?” Lois Griffin taunted. “I’m a full time mom, a housewife and I take piano lessons with all the local kids!”
“Well good for you! I don’t have time for that! Bitch...” said Marge. She continued reciting her songs she needed to sing.
Oscar came in stroking Snowball II and reciting Don Vito. “You come to the Corleones asking for a favour... I don’t know whether to kill you or kiss you...”
“Oscar please. Marlon doesn’t do anything like that in this movie...” said Marge.
“That’s the only Marlon Brando film I’ve seen...” said Oscar. “I really need to see his other work.”
”Yes you do Oz. He is in so many cool movies!” said Bart. “Wait! That’ll just encourage you!”
“Well, if I get a part I want you all to watch A Streetcar Named Desire.” said Marge.
“Awwwwwww....” everyone groaned in boredom.
Maggie played her xylophone.
“Maggie stop playing that...” Homer whined.
Later Marge put on her coat.
“And where do you think you’re going...” Homer asked.
“I told you all evening! To my Audition!” Marge nagged.
“Uh I think I’d know if you told me! I’m not stupid... Kids back me up.” said Homer.
“No way man!”
“Why you littles! Back me up!” Homer strangled Bart and Lisa for not backing him up.
“Homer stop that!” Marge took Bart and Lisa from him.
She went to her audition.
Wiggum was singing nonsense to get his voice in tune.
A stage hand face palmed as Otto turned up.
“My name is Otto! And I love Blotto!” sId Otto.
“Why does he always audition... He has no acting talent...” the stage hand sighed to his colleague.
Marge was surprised to see Ned auditioning. He explained he previously played Blanche DuBois at an all male acting school. Um...
Suddenly a fat drama teacher bursted in. “I am your teacher, Llewellyn Sinclair! You may address me as Mr Sinclair!” Marge got the impression straight away based on his put downs of performances that he was very strict and mean...
“Now I’m not an easy man to work with. I once reduced an entire cast of fourth graders to tears directing a production of Hats for Hanukkah!” But I think the review, Best performance ever speaks for itself!” said Llewellyn Sinclair. He put a sharp accent on the Hs in Hats for Hanukkah.
He then asked all the men to take off their shirts.
“Take off your shirts!!” He yelled. They did so.
“No. Too thin... Gunshot wounds... Join a gym... (He said rudely to Wiggum)” then he saw Krusty’s third nipple and screamed before fainting.
After recovering he decided Ned was perfect for the role of Stanley.
Then he got all the women to sing for the roles of Blanche.
They were all terrible according to Llewellyn Sinclair. And Marge just went “Laaaaaaa...” Marge did you honestly think that would be good...?!
“You were all terrible! Forget it! I’ll put a production on in Shelbyville!”
Marge was calling Homer disappointed she didn’t get a part... “You’re right Homer. I didn’t get a part. Outside interests are stupid.... I’ll pick up a bucket of Chicken... Extra skins... Bread rolls... No you don’t need pudding.... Okay! I’ll get a triple chocolate ice cream tub!”
However Sinclair changed his mind. He liked Marge. She was perfect! “Stop bothering my Blanche!” He screamed down the phone at Homer before putting the phone down.
At breakfast the next morning.
“I play the role of Blanche DuBois! A southern belle driven insane by her bullish brother in law Stanley. Played by Ned Flanders...” said Marge.
“Are there any giant killer robots in this play?” Bart asked.
“No.” said Marge.
“Any laser eyed mutant alligator men?”
“No!” Marge got slightly annoyed by Bart’s questions.
“Don’t ask stupid questions boy. Any frontal nudity?” Homer asked.
“No!” Marge got annoyed.
“Oh! Oh! I wanna ask a stupid question!” Oscar begged putting his hand up. “Any Godfather in it?”
“No! Oscar for the last time Marlon Brando did other things as well as Godfather...” Marge ranted.
Back at the theatre.
Everyone who didn’t get cut introduced themselves and their parts. Otto just wanted to rhyme and say he was Blotto.
“Get this man outta here...” Sinclair wanted him off the play.
Then Marge and Ned had a scene.
“Now Stanley, you grab Blanche in a passionate display and throw her onto the bed and pin her down!” said Sinclair.
“Okily dokily!” said Ned. He grabbed Marge and threw her onto a bed and pinned her down menacingly and growled. Maggie grabbed his glasses and put them on! XD.
“Awwww! And me without a camera!” Ned sighed. Yeah kids and cute furry toons playing with people’s glasses...
“My Sister runs a day care center. Please leave your offspring there please...” Sinclair said rudely.
Marge took Maggie to fancy nursery. The lady running it was clearly the spitting image of Sinclair. And yes she turns out horrible too!
“Maggie is allergic to strained pears... She just stopped liking them after David Tennant babysat... And she likes a warm bottle of milk...” said Marge.
“Ha! A bottle! Marge, do you know what Maggie is saying when she reaches for a bottle...” asked the nursery owner.
“Baba?” Marge asked.
“She’s saying, I am a leech! At this school we teach Babies to be independent!” said the bitch owner of the nursery.
Eventually Marge after some convincing that this was the only nursery in Springfield not under investigation she left Maggie.
“I’m sorry Maggie but we don’t allow these here.” The lady confiscated her pacifier and put it in a tray in a locker.
Maggie was sad.
At home one evening Homer and the kids are watching that perfume fashion show again. Troy McClure was introducing the judges.
“Token black judge Drederick Tatum...”
“That’s racist! You should pick a judge regardless of what they look like as their talent for judging! Not to fill in a checklist that you’re giving equal opportunities to everyone!” Lisa ranted.
“Quiet Lisa!” Homer barked. He’s a jerk wad in this episode....
A mean judge made a cruel remark about a contestant.
“Hahaha! What a bitch!” Bart giggled.
“Bart!” Homer yelled. “Watch your language or I’ll put soap in your mouth!”
Marge went to bed that night only to find a horse’s head in the bed. She screamed a bloodcurdling scream before finding it was Lisa’s old horsey head on a stick toy.
Oscar came in quoting the Godfather again. “You crazy coot! I don’t know whether to kill you or kiss you!”
“Oscar this has to stop! There are no Godfather parts in this play just because Marlon Brando is in it!” Marge ranted.
“Sorry...” Oscar said glumly.
At Drama school Marge wasn’t showing enough passion during a scene with Ned.
“You’re a dame and I’m a fella!” Ned sung.
“Stop or I’ll call Stella!” Marge sung.
“No no no! Marge you are supposed to be repulsed by this disgusting man! Show some passion!” Sinclair ranted.
“I’m sorry Mr Sinclair but I can’t feel repulsed looking at Ned...” said Marge.
“Then imagine him as some who does repulse you then!” Sinclair yelled.
Marge thought of shirtless Ned. Mmmmm! Stupid sexy Flanders.... then tried to imagine him as someone else. Unfortunately she imagined that gay Puerto Rican pirate from her reoccurring day dreams after reading novels during the day. Then Sean Connery then finally Homer in his underwear burping.
That night Homer was playing bowling on his Gameboy. XD Gameboy.
“Homer... Homer! Homer turn that thing off and pay attention!” Marge nagged.
“Gutter ball...” said the game.
“Awwww! Marge I almost had a strike.
“Homer! This is more important than a stupid video game! I want you to give your opinion on my performance as Blanche!” Marge explained.
“Marge I think we all have more important things in our lives than your little fantasy world...” Homer said rudely.
Marge grumbled angrily.
Bart passed by on his Gameboy.
“Hey Dad put Peekimon Version A on and get your butt to the Peekimon centre so we can trade! I want a Psychic Tapier for my Smokegeist.”
At Nursery Maggie was trying to find substitutes for her beloved pacifier such as a crayon, a toy block and an albino Bart Simpson doll. but couldn’t and sighed.
”Ay carumba a giant baby!” said the albino Bart doll. “And keep me away from direct sunlight! I burn!”
Then the Great Escape theme played as she sneaked about waking up two babies to help her.
They went to the pacifier locker and decided to make a tower out of toys to climb up. Maggie climbed up and tried to get her pacifier out through the locker vents but couldn’t.
The other babies locked around thinking “Ho boy...”
Suddenly the toys all collapsed with a loud crash. The nursery matron heard them!
“Don’t like to nap eh? We have a place for babies like you! The box!” said the matron. She took Maggie.
Maggie’s new friend threw her a ball. She caught it.
She was put in a play pen. She threw the ball about and sighed while bouncing it about.
At recitals Marge has enough of Homer’s boorish behaviour especially when Mr Sinclair has to yell at him and throw pocket change at him when he wants money for the vending machine.
”Marge... I need money for the candy machine...”
”Here! Take it! Take it all now stop disturbing my Blanche!” Llewellyn Sinclair threw pocket change at Homer while shouting at him for bothering his actresses and actors. Homer went to the vending machine,
Which he promptly gets into a fight with causing it spill candy.
Marge is annoyed by Homer constantly calling her name she smashes a bottle and brandishes it at him.
At dinner Homer is frightened of Marge.
Marge is talking in character as Blanche with a southern belle accent.
”Homer, be a doll and pass me some of that gravy to pour on my biscuits...” said Marge in a southern accent.
“Marge why are you talking like that?” Oscar asked.
“I have to stay in character.” said Marge.
“Mom would it help if I talk like this?” Lisa did a southern belle accent.
“Sure thing hon!” said Marge in a southern accent.
“What about like this? Awright guvnor?” Bart did a silly British accent. Oscar glared at him.
“Bart that’s not helping...” said Marge in a southern accent.
“Mom pass some more of that biscuit.” Lisa asked in a southern accent.
“Dad can I sloth of school tomorrow? Gotta a pain in my Gullabah!” said Bart in a silly British accent
“Well hohohon! Excuuuuuse Moi Garçon! I’m like a rose and I’m feeling rather thorny!” Oscar did a bad french accent.
“You stop that now Limey!” Bart yelled.
“Frog!” Oscar retorted.
“Peasant!” Bart retorted.
“Yank!” Oscar yelled.
“Stop it! Both of you stop it!” Marge broke character to tell them off.
“I’m living in a cuckoo clock!” Homer ranted.
Marge was reciting with Ned.
Homer had canned pudding for dessert. Mmmmmmm! Canned pudding... However the ring broke off. “Aaaaaagh! My pudding is trapped forever!”
He finds Marge at the Flanders house. “Maaaaaaarge! Oh Maaaaaaaarge! He screamed like Stanley.
“Hmmmmmm!” Marge groaned.
“That’s what I have to sound like?! Now I’ve never yelled like that before...” said Ned.
“Let’s just do the bottle scene again...” said Marge breaking a bottle in a threatening manner.
We cut to an overhead view of Evergreen Terrace and Ned Screaming horribly.
The next day Homer was watching Marge being put in a squad car being arrested.
“Good riddance...” said Homer shutting the curtains.
“Oz no Dark Simpsons style edits...” Bart sighed.
Oscar stuck his tongue out at him.
That night Homer was supposed to be reading the kids a bedtime story but was playing on his Gameboy. Pokemon music was blaring.
“Daaaaad! You’re supposed to be reading me Little House on the Prarie!” Lisa yelled.
“Well Dad is having a Peekimon battle with me so there!” said Bart.
“So is Mom gonna get bail in time for her play?” Bart asked.
“I dunno... I hope there’s bowling in it.” said Homer.
“Hello there little humans. Hello there Maggie... little strumpet...” said the matron heading off somewhere. Once the coast was clear Maggie got up and took out from a dolls house a sack of stuff as the great Escape theme played. She used a blind to pull her up to the air vents and went in them.
She used a Krusty doll and two bottles of milk to reach the Matron’s desk in her office. However the Matron was heading there so the babies sent her a coded signal.
Maggie gasped like Lisa and grabbed the keys to the pacifier locker and left the milk bottles as she disappeared into the air vents.
The matron gasped when she found the milk bottles and one fell off her desk and broke.
Maggie reached the locker room and fired a plunger dart gun at the locker and zip lined to it with triumph Great Escape music playing and unlocked the locker and gave everyone their pacifiers back.
The babies cheered and took their pacifiers.
The song drew to a close.
That evening Homer and the kids went to pick up a Maggie. “Maggie time to- Aaaaaaaaaaghh!” Homer screamed at the sight of hundreds of babies sucking their pacifiers and staring at him.
Homer carefully crept through them until he heard Maggie sucking her pacifier and found her. He took Maggie and backed away out of the nursery creeped out.
“Eeeeeeeeuuuughhhh... babies...” he groaned with dread.
Alfred Hitchcock walked a dog past the nursery for some reason...
They got home after Marge was released from prison for assaulting Ned with a broken bottle after Wiggum learned it was just part of the musical he was in.
”See you Thursday night Marge.” said Wiggum as they left his prison.
”Uh huh.” said Marge.
They got home to find Oscar had turned it into a shrine to Marlon Brando.
”What the?!” Homer gasped at the posters everywhere.
”I watched every Marlon Brando movie.... Yes even Mutiny on the Bounty... You crazy kid! I don’t know whether to kill you or kiss you! Stellaaaaaaaaah! The horror. The horror!” Oscar went completely nuts about Marlon Brando.
The Simpsons winced.
“Okaaaayyyy... Marge, I’m going down to the pharmacy to get Oscar some antipsychotic pills...” said Homer.
Then Lisa screamed because there was a monkey man, an alligator in a suit and other godless hybrid man-beast hybrids.
“I have seen the devil in my microscope, and I have chained him!!” Oscar ranted.
”Oscar enough! Stop going cuckoo over flippin Marlon Brando!” Bart ranted.
Hugo inside the vents saw all this happening. Cooooool! Man beast hybrid mutants and Dr Moraeu... I have got to see that film... he thought.
At drama school Marge did the bottle scene again.
”You’re a dame and I’m a fella!” Ned sang.
”Stanley stop or I’ll call Stella!” Marge sang.
”Cut!” Llewellyn Sinclair snapped. “Marge you’re supposed to be repulsed by this man. I want to see more passion! More anger!”
”Mr Sinclair please I’m trying!” Marge explained.
”No. do or do not! There is no try!” said Yoda.
Marge grimaced and got back to her role in the scene.
”Marge! Marge.... Maaaaaaaaarge!” Homer yelled.
”WHAT?!” Marge screamed at him.
”I just need some change for this vending machine. It swallowed my dollar...” said Homer.
”Here! Take it! Take it all! Now leave my understudies alone you gluttonous buffoon!” Llewellyn Sinclair shouted at him, tossing loose change at Homer.
Homer gathered up the change.
”Well Margey dee diddly, let’s go through this scene again shall we?” Ned asked.
”Yes Ned.” said Marge.
”You’re a Dane and I’m a fella!” Ned sang.
Marge imagines him as Homer.
”Look Marge! Hehehe! I’m stupid Flanders now! Wow I’m ripped!” His belly flops out all fat with obesity. “Ooooooh....” he groaned.
Marge snapped and smashed her bottle. “STANLEY STOP OR I’LL CALL STELLAAAAAAH!” She lunged at him.
”Yes Marge! That’s the passion I’m looking for!” said Sinclair. He frowned. “Ned you’re supposed to be over powering her!”
”I’m trying!” Ned cried.
The Simpsons hoped Oscar would have calmed down during the cast meeting, he didn’t...
“My name is Helen Lovejoy, and I'll be playing Stella.” said Helen Lovejoy. “Oh won’t someone pleeeeease think of the children!”
”I am Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. I play Steve. Hello please come again!” said Apu.
“My name is "Ot-to!" I'm playing "Pab-lo! And I love Blotto!” said Otto.
Sinclair face palmed.
“Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director... on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play.” said Lionel Hutz. XD! “I also play Mitch.”
“I'm Marge Simpson. I'll be playing Blanche. I made some peanut butter brownies for everyone.” said Marge with a dish of brownies.
Llewellyn Sinclair tried one. “Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality?”
“I would.” said Clancy Wiggum.
“Stanley--“ Sinclair asked as Marge was doing a scene with Ned. He had a bloody gauze bandage on his pecs where Marge stabbed him with a broken bottle.
“Yeah?” Ned asked.
”You're pulsing with animal lust!” Sinclair gave him scene directions. Ie how he should be acting.
Oscar dressed as a mad scientist laughed maniacally.
”Marge is that your kid that kept going on about Marlon Freakin Brando through out the cast meeting...” Sinclair sighed.
Marge sighed. “It’s complicated...”
“So, what time does this play start?” Homer asked playing his Gameboy.
“Why? Are you going?” Marge said annoyed at him.
”Well, I gotta go, don't I?“ said Homer. Pokemon battle music played.
“I'm sure you won't enjoy it. There's nothing about bowling in the play.” Marge sighed. “Oh, wait, there is. Probably not much of it.”
Homer was engrossed in his Gameboy.
“Why can't you be a little more supportive?” Marge asked.
”'Cause I don't care, okay?” said Homer hurting her. Emotionally. Marge gasped tearful. “I can't fake an interest in this... and I'm an expert at faking an interest in your kooky projects.”
“What "kooky projects"?“ Marge snapped.
”You know, the painting class... the first aid course, the whole Lamaze thing.” said Homer.
”I’m sleeping on the couch tonight...” Marge stormed off downstairs taking a pillow with her.
Basically Homer is a complete dick this episode.