A Star Is Torn The Simpsons get sick from vegetables again and Lisa joins a singing competition.
The couch gag is Homer going through many kinds of doors until he gets to a phone booth. He makes a call and drops down a trapdoor and lands on the couch with his family. All the while spy music plays.
The Simpsons go to the Kwik e mart only to find Snake robbing the place at gun point. Behind him is a queue of Bart’s arch enemies. Sideshow Bob wearing a burglar eye mask and carrying a sack of money, Dr Colossus, Ms Botz...
Bart gulped and begged his family silently to leave and go elsewhere.
“Call the police!” Apu whispered as the crooks robbed the store.
Homer used the pay phone. But he had no change to use it.
“I have no change! Do you have any?” Homer whispered.
“No change with out a purchase!” whispered Apu.
“What is the cheapest thing I can buy?” Homer asked quietly.
“A 200 gram bag of chips! $5.99!” Apu whispered.
“Five ninety nine?! What a rip off! Someone should shoot you!” Homer whispered.
We can hear everything you two are saying...” Sideshow Bob sighed.
“Hmmmmm! We alway catch the afternoon shoplifters! Now I don’t know what to do for dinner...” Marge sighed.
“Why don’t we shop elsewhere? Look! Cleatus has set up his vegetable stall again!” said Lisa.
They went to Cleatus’s vegetable stall.
“Hey there rich city folks! See anything you like? I also sell tomaccos now and these triffids!” said Cleatus.
Homer picked up a corn cob still in its leaves. “Hmmmm, it’s like a corn dog without the dog.” said Homer peeling back the corn cob’s leaves.
“Whatever you wants, jus put it in this here sack.” said Cleatus holding a sack.
“You may not!” Brandine yelled taking the sack. “That’s my baby sack! Look at them! They’sa traumatised I’m taking them for a walk in my wheelbarrow!” Three babies poked out of the sack.
“Awwww! Yokel babies!” Oscar cooed thinking the baby Spucklers were cute.
“Yousa want a baby?” Cleatus asked the Simpsons.
“You may not! These are my belly fruit!” Brandine yelled.
“Well Lisa, what do you think?” Marge asked trying to ignore the domestic between Cleatus and Brandine.
“I think we should eat more vegetarian meals! We’ll live longer and they’re so versatile!” said Lisa.
“Yeah but can these vegetables save you from a zombie invasion?” Oscar asked.
“Oz that is... a rather great idea for a mobile game!” Bart for once praised Oscar for coming up with a great idea.
“In the future they’ll be called apps...” said Oscar.
“Then it’s settled! Vegetables, you have gone from entree to main course!” said Marge talking to a pepper.
“Mom, why are you talking to a pepper...” said Bart.
At home, in the kitchen.
“I don’t see why you lot won’t buy my genetically engineered vegetables...” Hugo sighed playing with his folk as he sat there wearing Bart’s nerdy black rimmed glasses.
“Because Oscar’s baked potato is eating a carrot.” said Lisa.
Oscar’s potato was eating a carrot and gulped it down and smiled.
“Coooooool!” said Oscar.
“Okay dinner is served!” said Marge. “And it feels great not to have to make separate meals tonight!” Marge served trays of vegetable dishes such as spinach and cheese bake. Mushrooms etc.
The Simpsons greedily ate the food. Oscar was feeding his potato...
“Lisa is right! I no longer miss meat! This mushroom is a big rubbery fungus steak!” said Homer eating some mushroom.
“More spinach and cheese bake Dad?” Lisa asked Homer if he wanted more spinach and cheese bake.
“Just hand me the whole tray... Mmmmm! Such unashamed gluttony...” said Homer.
However when he took a forkful of spinach and cheese, his stomach made an unhappy groan. “Oooooh! I’m having a food baby!” Homer groaned.
Bart’s stomach groaned. “Ooooh! I feel like something crapped inside of me!” He groaned.
“Bart! Don’t speak like that!” Marge told him off. Suddenly her stomach groaned too. “Oh crap!”
They all suddenly felt sick as their faces turned green and their cheeks bulged as they clutched their hands over their mouths retching and fled the table in a hurry. Yes even Hugo, which was hilarious. Can you imagine him getting queasy?!
However Lisa was sat alone at the kitchen table wondering what made everyone sick.
The Simpsons ran to the bathrooms, to throw up. Marge in the downstairs loo, Bart the family bathroom upstairs and Hugo in the en-suite.
Maggie crawled over to her jack in a box and popped open the jack so she could throw up in it.
Clownja wasn’t happy and put a sign on his box saying “I am not a sick bucket!”
Homer unable to find a bathroom threw up in Lisa’s saxophone.
The Simpsons minus Lisa were huddled together under a blanket on the couch and feeling rather poorly.
“No fair! How comes Lisa doesn’t get sick?” Bart groaned.
“Because your bodies are so used to eating processed foods that it is a shock to eat healthy vegetables packed full of vitamins and the occasional bug feces.” said Lisa.
Oscar threw up in the sick bucket.
“Lisa stop that!” Marge told her off.
“Fine... there’s no bug feces in vegetables...” Lisa sighed.
She then had a tea tray wit bits of toast and a tea pot on it. “Now while your stomachs still poorly you’ll have to make do with toast and weak tea.” said Lisa.
Homer tried some toast.
“I think it’s staying down! No wait! It’s not!” He grabbed the sick bucket. “No it’s staying down! No it isn’t! Yes it is! No it isn’t! Yes it is!” Homer argued with himself undecided as to be sick or be able to hold down his food.
“Dad!” Lisa yelled taking the sick bucket.
“Garrrrrrblargle blah blarrble grrrr!” Hugo growled in gibberish.
“Hugo this is not your fish bucket... as if we’d use your fish bucket as a sick bucket...” said Lisa.
“Blaaaaa Ugh gah...” said Hugo.
“Now you guys get plenty of rest...” said Lisa.
Homer whined and wanted the sick bucket so Lisa gave it to him. He hugged the sick bucket.
“But we’re not tired...” Bart groaned as Lisa tucked them in.
“I’ll just sing you all a lullaby!” said Lisa.
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word! Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird! If that mockingbird don’t sing... Mmmmmmhmmmmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmm...” Lisa sung sweetly as she sung a lullaby.
We pan out to the house that night,
“And if that diamond ring turns to brass, momma’s gonna buy you a looking glass...” Lisa sung.
“Lisa sings so sweetly! And Bart is my pillow! All is bliss...” said Homer.
The next morning or so. The Simpsons and Oscar miraculously recovered as they were in their pyjamas eating KFC.
“I see you’re all feeling much better.” said Lisa.
“Yeah, no more vegetables for us! Now I’m only eating food I know had a soul!” said Bart eating fried chicken.
“Is that why they call KFC soul food?” Oscar asked.
“No it’s because the commercials always depict black people enjoying KFC! Which is a racist stereotype! Everyone loves KFC! Except vegetarians of course.” said Lisa. “It’s the third most popular fast food.”
Then on the TV was a commercial hosted by Krusty for a singing competition for young children.
“Hey hey kids! Hooahahahaha! Do you have what it takes to be a singing sensation? A dynamite voice? Ruthless pushy parents?” Krusty asked. “A void in your life that can only be filled with applause? Oh I know that feeling...” Krusty sighed. “Then you were born to enter... Krusty’s Little Star maker singing competition!”
A small print guy quickly announced to cover Krusty legally, “Not affiliated with American Idol. We’ve never heard of American Idol.” Right that’s it! I’m putting Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson in this episode! Hehehe!
“The winner will animated into an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon!” said Krusty. “So enter today! Especially if you’re a funny looking kid who doesn’t know he sucks!”
“I’m a coming Krusty!” said Milhouse calling the hotline to enter the competition.”
Back at the Simpsons. “Lisa, you should enter that competition! You have a great voice! It made us all feel better!” said Bart.
“Oh thanks Bart! That’s so sweet!” Lisa was pleased he was seemingly being so nice for once.
“Oh... I think I puked up all my meanness...” Bart sighed. He saw Maggie sucking a chicken bone as if it were a pacifier. Bart took it from her and threw it at Lisa. The bone bounced off Lisa’s head.
“Ow!” Lisa whined.
“Praise the Lord! I’m on the road to recovery!” said Bart.
The Simpsons were camped outside somewhere in sleeping bags. Bart is actually one of the ones asleep, and Hugo is snoring.
“Oh I hope we didn’t camp out here for nothing! It seems every kid in town showed up!” said Lisa.
“Don’t worry about the competition Sweetie!” said Marge. “Whenever I enter a competition I tell myself I’m gonna win!”
“Wow! Really?” Lisa asked.
“Because if you believe hard enough, God cuts you a break.” said Marge. “After all! He works for us! Our prayers pay his salary!”
“Well God is gonna have to take a pay cut now Lisa’s a Buddhist...” said Oscar.
“Good one Oz!” Bart high fived him.
“Hmmmmmm! Oscar go back to sleep...” Marge sighed.
“Well the great news is if I win I get to star in an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.” said Lisa falling asleep.
She dreamed she was in an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. Thankfully they weren’t trying to kill her and Bart this time. Itchy and Scratchy were sword fighting as musketeers.
“En guarde! Parry! Thrust!” said Itchy.
Lisa arrived riding a giant My Little Pony pony. She chopped of Itchy and Scratchy’s heads and skewered them on her sword. “Well done Wind Dancer!”
As if the girly ponies weren’t bad enough. Lisa then went on about animal cruelty and spaying or neutering your pets.
“Nope!” said imaginary Oscar with hundreds of German Shepherd puppies.
She then threw Itchy and Scratchy’s heads into a cauldron of green cartoon acid. Why green? Because it’s Diiiiiiip!
Lisa the woke to find Homer carrying her inside to join the competition.
Krusty was giving instructions for the competition.
“Okay listen up kids and their moms and dads. I’m only gonna say this once, because I have 27 DVDs of commentary to get through. And I remember nothing!” said Krusty. “Today we get to pick which lucky kid gets to perform on air and which go home embarrassed and humiliated.” Krusty continued.
“Now I was gonna be your celebrity judge but then I realised I’d have to pay attention. So instead your judge will be the applause-o-matic! Eh?” Krusty expected laughs from The audience but got noting except crickets chirping. “Ugh... I knew we should have hired Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson...” Krusty groaned.
“Now let’s get this over with! I have a Mai Tai and Mr Teeny waiting.” said Krusty.
Ralph was up first. Singing ABCDEFG...
“A B C D E F G, .... How I wonder what you are...” sang Ralph. He has a point. The alphabet song and Twinkle, twinkle little star are technically the same song.
Everyone clapped sarcastically except Clancy and Sarah who clapped and cheered enthusiastically for Ralph.
“Woooooo! You’re a star Ralphie!” Clancy Wiggum cheered for his son.
The applause o matic gave a very low ranking of sarcastic applause to show it didn’t think much of Ralph’s performance.
“I can’t believe I used to date him...” Lisa sighed.
“Ha!” Hugo laughed at her.
“You’re a shoo-in sis!” said Bart being nice to Lisa for once.
Then a black girl with very short, almost no hair was singing an upbeat, Motown version of Lisa’s lullaby.
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word. Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird! That’s gonna sing, sing! Yes it is y’all!” The girl sung. Everyone cheered.
“And if that mockingbird don’t sing. Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring! That’s gonna shine! Shine! Oh it shines so bright!”
Everyone cheered for the girl.
“Lisa, that sounds like a fancier version of the song you’re gonna sing!” said Marge.
“And she’s giving us the emotional experience of a lifetime!” said Homer.
“Yeah but she’s singing the lullaby too loud! How is a baby supposed to go to sleep to that?!” said Oscar.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah...” the girl sung.
Her singing was so great that Snake and Apu made up.
“She truly is a little star!” said Sideshow Mel.
“When she sings a C it is a C! Unlike a certain Glee club I taught!” said Mr Largo.
“Now I know talent when my producers tell me what talent is! We have our first contestant Clarissa Wellington!”
“I can’t compete with that!” Lisa whined.
“Why? Just because she sounds like Whitney Houston brought to life?” Bart asked Lisa whilst impressed with Clarissa’s performance.
“Aaaaaaaaagh! Zombie Whitney Houston!” Oscar screamed.
Bart face palmed.
We cut to zombie Whitney Houston terrorising a neighbourhood. “Crack.... must have crack... must be racist to white men and get away with it because I have black privilege.... must have crack...” moaned Whitney Houston as a zombie.
“Don’t worry sweetie! I’ll write you a new song! One so great you can’t lose! And that’s not the beer talking, I’m in here too!” said Homer going off to a music store to write a new song.
“If you’re gonna write music get some help from Mozart Bart!” said Oscar being silly.
“Eat my pantaloons dummkopf!” said Mozart.
Bart shook his head in disbelief and face palmed.
Next on stage was Milhouse.
“When a maaaaaaan loves a womaaaaaan!” He sung.
“Which one are you the man or the woman?” Carl asked.
“Question the kid’s sexuality? I like it!” said Lenny high fiving Carl.
Lisa was up after Milhouse. Homer hastily arrived with her new song.
“How did you write this so fast?” Lisa asked him.
“Most of it’s plagiarised go on go on!” said Homer.
Lisa sung while reading her lyrics for her song. “I’ve been to Tokyo, to Paris, to Timbuktu... but none of them compare to to this one swell town...”
“Is it Knoxville?” Sideshow Mel asked.
“I’m talking Springfield! Where there’s lots of chimichangas! I’m talking Springfield! Where chicks have big gezungas...” Lisa wasn’t sure of that lyric. “Where there’s Barney, Grampa, Disco Stu, sea captain and Apu! And did I mention you?” she pointed along the audience.
“Me? That’s me!” said Lenny.
“I’m talking Springfield! Where nobody sucks.... except Flanders...” sang Lisa reading her notes.
The applause o matic loved her song so much that its arrow flew into Krusty’s eye.
“Ooooow! I get it! She’s good!” said a Krusty.
Krusty explained Lisa was through to the competition alongside Clarissa. He then said the audience is always right. “Unlike my stock broker...”
The audience didn’t find his joke funny.
“Gah, what do you people know... that was a great joke...” said Krusty throwing his mike away as he left.
Lisa ran off stage to embrace her father in a hug.
“You did it sweetie!” said Homer.
“No, we did it Dad!” said Lisa.
“She’s right... it was all me...” said Homer’s Brain.
“Will you keep helping me Dad?” Lisa asked.
“Of course sweetie. I’ll help you onto this road to stardom and out of this god forsaken hell hole...” Homer explained. Then saying Springfield was a god forsaken hell hole.
“I thought you liked Springfield... you wrote a song about it...” said Lisa.
“It was originally about Shelbyville but I changed the lyrics to Springfield...” said Homer.
“Shelbyville?!” The Simpsons gasped.
“What have you done with Homer you imposter?!” Oscar yelled.
“Why you!” The real Homer arrived and strangled the fake Homer. During the fight Oscar pulled off Fake Homer’s face, which was a rubber mask.
“Shelby’s Dad?!” The Simpsons gasped.
“Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it too! If it weren’t for you meddling kids and that meddling know it all narrator!” said Shelby’s Dad.
“Well you didn’t count on one thing...” said Oscar. “That I know Homer would never say he prefers Shelbyville to Springfield...”
“Ugh... Shelbyville...” Homer said in disgust.
At home Lisa was singing “la la la laaaaaaa!” Getting higher and higher until she shattered a wine glass.
“That was great Sweetie. Every time you hit that note I’ll shoot a wine glass with my BB gun...” Said Homer, he accidentally shot Lisa’s bedside lamp.
“Thanks dad!” Lisa hugged him. Aaaaawwww!
“I value our time together sweetie. For I won’t be around much longer...” said Homer.
“Why?! What’s wrong?” Lisa asked horrified.
“Moe is getting a new HD TV, in time for the super bowl! Hopefully my beloved blue shirts win this year!”
“Oh...” said Lisa relieved he wasn’t dying.
In a music stage theatre.
Lisa was up. She got a red spotlight that hurt her eyes. “Can I get a green spotlight?” she asked politely.
“Sorry, we don’t have green...” said a man.
“Don’t worry sweetie. Daddy will handle this.” said Homer. He went up to the control room. “Hello, May I fave a word with you.” We here punching sounds.
Lisa’s red spotlight was suddenly replaced with a green one.
“Is that green enough for ya Sweetie? Otherwise I can always make it greener...” said Homer making a fist gesture.
“No it’s perfect Dad.” said Lisa.
Then Cameron, a boy in an orange smart shirt with a bow tie and cream pants was singing opera.
All the girls cheered and screamed with adoration.
“That’s Cameron. All the girls love him. His cute, unthreatening and they say his smile once brought a dead puppy back to life.” said Lisa.
Cameron flashed his brilliant white teeth in a grin. The girls screamed and swooned at his good looks.
“My puppy Mr Fluffylumps cane back to life! It’s a miracle!” A girl cried happily as a puppy yapped and barked.
“The power to bring puppies to life by smiling...” said Oscar writing something down.
“What are you doing Oz?” Lisa asked Oscar.
“It has come to my conclusion that Cameron would be ultimate weapon against Seto Kaiba! The power to bring puppies back to life with a smile vs the power to kill puppies with a smile!” said Oscar.
“Nonsense! No one can match my supernatural powers and abilities as a duelist! For I am Seto Kaiba!” said Seto Kaiba from Yugioh.
Seto and Cameron faced off against each other. Flashing big toothy grins at each other. Beams of light shone out of their shiny teeth at each other. The beams collided in a sumo battle of strength. Seto’s puppy killing powers against Cameron’s powers to return puppies to life. The beams vied for dominance against one another.
“Oh brother...” Lisa sighed at this stupidity.
“Don’t worry sweetie.” Daddy wrote a song so Schmaltzy you can’t lose!” said Homer giving her lyrics.
Lisa sung a very sad song about Snowball.
“My kitty died on Christmas Eve. Daddy told me to be brave...” Homer holds up a sign telling her to be sadder. “But instead of singing carols, I was digging Snowball’s grave...” Lisa sung. Then she cried her eyes out. And the audience cried, and so did Homer and even the narrator.
“Oh (crying and sobbing) I miss Lisa’s cat!” said Lenny crying.
“Lisa that song was brilliant! In fact it was so great it made Moonriver sound like an orangutan’s fart!” said Homer.
We cut to an orangutan farting.
“Eeeeeew! Dad! That’s gross!” Lisa sighed at his crass remark.
There was then a montage of newspaper headlines of each episode of Little Star Maker and eliminations and Scandals etc.
For example in the first elimination round, Ralph and Milhouse didn’t even make preliminary at the mall, a young girl with brown hair was eliminated. She cried and Krusty dropped her down a trap door. He then mentioned the show was sponsored by a cola brand and called out it as shameless promotion to corporate advertising.
Then there was a scandal where a ten year old boy was actually Paul Simon and disqualified.
Eventually everyone was whittled down to Clarissa, Lisa and Cameron. Annoyingly there’s no character development between them so I am adding filler.
Clarissa had a tragic back story, because every musical competition that’s either X Factor, American Idol, Pop Idol or The Voice has a contestant with a tragic back story. Lisa felt sorry for her whatever it was. Maybe a family member is sick or dying or something. I can’t do much if you don’t start me with something lazy canon!
Meanwhile Cameron was the eye candy because most of the audience was girls so they loved him. Plus he can bring dogs back to life With his smile. I don’t know about other animals.
“We could get him to bring Snowball back with his smile!” said Oscar.
“No Oscar! That’s a bad idea!” said Lisa.
“Who’s Snowball?” Cameron asked.
“My cat until Mayor Quimby’s Brother ran her over.” said Lisa. “Then we got Snowball II.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” said Cameron.
“No worries. Anyway no we can’t use Cameron’s smile powers even if they did work to bring Snowball back because she’s bean dead for too long! Who knows what we could get back?!” said Lisa.
In the make up room Lisa was prepping for her performance with sinus clearing vapour and steam. To keep her sinuses and throat clear. She then tested the pitch of her octaves, how high she could sing basically by going “la la la laaaaaa!”
The Simpsons and Oscar put their fingers in their ears and a wine glass shattered.
“Well that’s beautiful sweetie.” said Homer.
“Thanks Dad.” said Lisa hugging Homer.
“However I have some bad news.” said Homer “Grampa can’t make it tonight.”
“Why not? Is he sick?” Lisa asked.
“No! No... he’s just got through auditions on American Idol!” said Homer.
On American Idol Simon Cowell was bored as yet another bad performance came on. “Whoopee... yet another wannabe who doesn’t realise they can’t sing... yaaaaawn...” said Simon Cowell.
Meanwhile Randy Jackson, true to his name was getting rather randy!
“Oh! Ooooh! Oooooooooooh!” He moaned sexually aroused. “Man that’s good singing! Oooooooh!”
“And up next is Abraham Simpson singing What’s New Pussy Cat? By Sir Tom Jones.” said the announcer.
“What’s new pussy cat?” Abe’s back joins make a painful crack. “Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!” He cries in pain. “What’s new pussy cat?” Another joint cracks painfully. “Oh god! No! No! No!” He cries in pain.
“Absolutely no way.” said Simon.
“Can someone get this poor old timer a doctor!” said Randy.
“Ahehehehe!” Dr Hibbert chuckled. “Come along now Abe.”
“And next up is a fat black guy singing the Jigglypuff song from Pokemon for some reason... and he never wrote his name on the entry form...” said the announcer.
A fat black guy with glasses came on. He sung in a high pitched voice, the Jigglypuff song from Pokemon. “Jigglypuff... jig ga lyyyyyyy eeeeee puff! Jiggaleee puff...”
It was super effective! Simon and Randy were fast asleep!
“Jigglypuff!” The fat black guy yelled angrily in a high pitched voice and inflated himself before taking out a marker pen and scribbling on their faces.
Meanwhile in Lisa’s make up room Squeaky voiced Teen delivers Lisa’s red vines she asked for.
“Here’s the twizzlers you asked for.” said Squeaky Voiced Teen.
“These aren’t the right candy! I said red vines!” Homer screamed and strangled Squeaky Voiced Teen with the red vines. Holy crud!
“Ack! Mr Simpson please!” Squeaky Voiced Teen gasped as Homer choked him.
“Ay carumba!” Bart gasped.
“You think I can’t kill you?! There’s plenty of kids fresh out of college who can take your place!” Homer growled as he tried to kill Squeaky Voiced Teen.
“Daaaaaad! No! These are red vines!” said Lisa.
“Oh sorry there... I forget myself...” said Homer sheepishly to Squeaky Voiced Teen releasing him and letting him go.
“Dad you’re out of control! Like a soccer mom!” said Lisa.
“Or a soccer Mommy Dearest...” said Oscar.
The mom from Mommy Dearest was whacking her son while yelling “what have I told you?! No wire hangers!”
“Oz no more references please...” Lisa sighed. She then had to make a tough decision. “Dad I’m sorry but, your fired!”
Homer gasped horrified.
“Homer Simpson you’re fired!” shouted Mr Burns from the doorway.
Homer screamed. “Oh! I’ve lost my real job and my daughter’s singing coach job...” said Homer.
In the car Homer coldly blanked Lisa. Everyone was in awkward silence.
“Soooo... about that Clarissa...” said Bart.
“Boy... I am trying to be coldly angry right now...” said Homer on the verge of snapping.
“Dad I’m sorry but you bang out of order! You’ve gone mad with power!” Lisa explained.
“Raaaaaaaaagh! Homer like mad!” Homer screamed angrily. He screamed and shouted so much in his outburst that the family were frightened.
“Holy crud! I feel so much anger burning from inside him that he’s on the verge of becoming season one Homer again!” said Oscar.
“Bart how about I take you to the arcade, or to buy a video game?” Marge asked Bart frightened.
“Hell I’ll even go shoe shopping!” said Bart.
Marge and the kids fled.
“Come back! I’ve calmed down!! Listen! I’m calm!! Raaaaaaaaggghhhh! Raaaaaaghh!” Homer screamed and shouted.
The Simpsons some time later after fleeing to give Homer space to calm down we’re now at home eating dinner. Homer then came in.
“Everyone I have calmed down now and I have bought a guest!” said Homer. “Someone who appreciates my in your face management!”
Cameron came in singing.
“Hey Simpson family....!”
Oscar squinted and sort of frowned. “Uncle Phil...” he asked Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Cameron yelled as he was thrown out.
“You’re working for Cameron?!” Lisa gasped.
“He’s not Cameron anymore. He’s Johnny rainbow!” said Homer.
“Uh Mr Simpson about that...” said Cameron.
“Call me Colonel Cool.” said Homer. “I am captain of this rocket ship to the stars!”
“So which is it? Are you a captain or a colonel?” Bart asked.
“Neither. I’m both.” said Homer.
Later Homer was in the garden coaching Cameron.
“Now we’re gonna learn a little thing about Jazz hands.” Homer scat sings as he does jazz hands. Cameron follows his stage directions.
“Dad seems so happy...” said Lisa.
“Hmmmmm! Actually I think you’ll find he’s very upset still Lisa.” said Marge.
“I want to know where Cameron’s parents are in all this? He does have parents right?” asked Bart. “And how are they comfortable with Homer kidnapping Cameron...”
Suddenly there are red and blue siren lights and Eddie and Lou arrest Homer and Cameron’s parents arrive.
After Homer got out of jail the next day he greeted everyone except Lisa. Even Hugo was getting more respect from him now. As Homer boisterously scruffles his spikes “Hugo, my little cotton headed ninny muffins, Maggie...”
Homer the sobbed and said “Lisa...” tearfully.
“Dad I don’t want things to be bad between us!” said Lisa. “I made you some cookies!” Lisa had a tray of cookies.
Homer joyfully ate them. “Oh so good! Oh! Mmmmmmm!” Then they were gone, because he has eaten them. “They’re gone...” Homer frowned back to being cold with Lisa.
Oscar came in with Cameron, Spud and Gotenks.
“Oz why have you bought my archenemy Spud?” asked Bart as Spud the carney was there.
“Why do you steal video games?” asked Spud.
“Spud and Cameron are here because I want to prove to Gotenks what happens if they fusion dance.” said Oscar. “Now would the fusion be called Spamron or Crud?”
“Uh Oz, it doesn’t work with humans...only-“ said Gotenks.
“Fuuuusion Ha!” Cameron and Spud did the fusion dance. There was an almighty flash and when the blinding light faded there was a glowing figure where Cameron and Spud were.
“Whoa!” said Gotenks.
The figure then revealed itself. They were.... Quiffy!
“Howdy Simpsons!” said Quiffy wearing his red shirt that Kid vs Kat stole and blue jeans and red trainers.
Bart head slammed the kitchen table out of frustration at Oscar’s stupidity.
The Simpsons were getting ready for the next elimination round.
“Oz are you coming?” Lisa asked.
“No. I wanna watch American Idol. See if Grampa gets through to the next round.” said Oscar.
“Fine. Suit yourself.” said Lisa.
Oscar was watching American Idol. Another set of auditions were on.
“Next up is the Chewbacca woman. Singing I am the king of the forest from the Wizard of Oz.” said the announcer.
Meanwhile the host of American Idol. Who ever has Dermot O’leary’s job in America. Well whoever he was he was interviewing the Chewbacca woman.
“I do the lion.” said the fat lady.
“You do the lion?” said the host.
“I do the lion!” said the fat lady nodding.
“What do you do with the lion?”
The fat lady made a Chewbacca sound.
The man liked it so much he kept asking her to do it, which she did.
Eventually she was called to perform.
,I am the king of the foreeeeeeeeest! Not queen, not duke, not prince...” she sung. “And a royal growl...” she made the Chewbacca sound.
“Not nobody, not no how!” Simon yelled.
“The wizard says go away!” said the Oz city door guard.
“I liked it!” said Barney with a sheet on his head.
Meanwhile at the little star maker talent show, Clarissa was eliminated. She cried and Krusty dumped her down the trapdoor he called the flavour hole. However the others eliminated contestants were still in there crying. “Mel you’re supposed to let them out!” Krusty yelled.
Lisa got a spotlight she didn’t like as it hurt her eyes.
“Don’t you have a green one?” Lisa asked.
“Nope.” said the engineers being annoying.
“I’ll sort them out Sis...” said Bart. There was punching sounds and then suddenly Lisa’s spotlight turned green. Lisa sighed at her family having to be violent.
On Cameron’s turn to sing Honer gave him a silly makeover as Johnny Rainbow. Homer gave the engineers instructions that they immediately obeyed such as a space theme for the lights.
Then Homer cried and gave Lisa some support by telling her to smile to a camera.
Lisa on her turn listened to Homer and Bart arguing.
“Of all the tires I had to slash! The cars I burnt!” Homer yelled.
“Dad! No one told you to slash and burn!” Bart yelled.
When she went on stage she told everyone her coach wasn’t around tonight so she wrote her own song. It was a tear jerking song about her Dad. “Daddy, you were a brute... insidious... and crude.... but you’re still my Dad....” the song was so lovely everyone cried even Homer.
“Awwwwww! Even the applause o magic is crying.... Aghhhh! Oh god! It’s battery acid! It burns!” Krusty screamed as the applause machine leaked acid.
“Dad I love you! Can you ever forgive me?” Lisa and Homer hugged.
“Of course!” said Homer. “I even sabotaged Cameron’s performance...”
“What?!” Lisa gasped.
“Hehehe! He’s gonna sing my song! He’s about to learn an important lesson.... never trust your stage manager...” said Homer.
Cameron sung Privilege Boy.
“I’m a Privileged Boy, it’s great I gotta tell ya! I’m a privileged boy, my Dad can buy and sell ya!”
“And it really doesn’t matter that your on the list in front of me, I’ll steal your table! Because I always tip the maitre D! And I’ll probably go to Yale, because I am a legacy! I’m better than yoooooooouuuuu!” Cameron sung.
Everyone booed and threw vegetables at Cameron who cried and ran off stage.
“Um.... Lisa Simpson is our first winner of little Star Maker!” said Krusty.
“You sabotaged Cameron for me?” Lisa asked.
“Yes sweetie I’ll do anything for you. Especially if it’s easy.” said Homer.
“Awwwww! You’re the best Daddy!” said Lisa hugging him.
“I’ll always be there Sweetie, not even death can stop me!” said Homer.
“Okay now you’re being creepy.” said Lisa.
“How about just, I love you sweetie.” said Homer.
The Simpsons were having lunch in the kitchen. Sandwiches.
“Well, it’s official. Cameron really hates you Dad.” said Bart. “He has sworn revenge...”
“Hmmmmmm! What is it with people swearing revenge against us...” Marge sighed.
“Guys forget about Cameron. We are in serious legal trouble! Baloo from Tailspin and the Dino Thunder Power Rangers are trying to sue us for having an identical named episode to an episode from their shows!” Oscar yelled coming into the kitchen followed by Baloo, Kit Cloudkicker and Power Rangers.
The Simpsons face palmed.