A Simpsons Love Story It's Love Day, a new holiday invented by big corporations to make more money. And Marge decides to teach the kids about love when they're not very enthusiastic about Love Day and just want to watch cartoons. The family then reminiscent about various encounters involving love.
A big media corporation is having a business meeting. Their stocks are going down.
“Gentlemen, I'm pleased to report strong holiday sales... from the Christmas-Hanu-Kwanzaa spend phase. And things look good for the Mom-Dad-Grad gift corridor. Uh, then we'll have the usual summer lull. But, hey, we're making enough money, right?” said a young businessman.
The cigar chomping CEO wasn’t impressed he clicked his fingers and two heavy goons dragged the businessman outside and took his board and charts etc.
”Heeeeeey!” The Young business whined.
“We need some big ideas fast! How bout you?" The cigar chomping CEO asks a board member. He comes up with a bad idea and is dragged out of the meeting.
"How about a new holiday?" another board member asked.
"Yes. How about Love Day, but not all cuddly and schmaltzy." The CEO suggested.
“Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables.” A board member agreed with him.
“How about something religious? We had great penetration last spring with Christmas II.” said a black lady board member. Mmmmmm! Penetration....
“Ooh. I know. Spendover. Like Passover, but less talk, more presents.” said a black haired guy,
[All Talking] ‘Product Day?l
“No! We’re doing Love Day. But please don’t make it extremely lame....” said the CEO.
One day Bart and Lisa get up to find Homer and Marge are celebrating the new holiday, Love Day. They have decorated the inside and the outside of the house for Love Day.
"Happy Love Day!" Marge and Homer celebrate with party horns.
"Dad, this is just a fad big corporations came up with to make extra money..." Lisa explained, uninterested.
"Don't you ruin another Love Day, Lisa!" Homer told her off.
"Dad this is the first ever Love Day!" Lisa saw a flaw in his statement.
"Oh." Homer replied.
"Are there any presents?" Bart asked.
"No, but we got this kiss me boogie lantern!" Marge had a jack o'lantern toy that had been repurposed as a Love Day toy. "Kiss it and it dances!"
"I'd rather not..." Bart didn't want to.
"Go on! Kiss it!" Homer said in a creepy manner like he was demanding Bart kiss the toy. “Kiss it,..”
"Maybe later..." Bart said before going off to watch cartoons with Lisa.
Homer sighed and put down the kiss me boogie lantern. Santa's Little Helper licked it. It started dancing! "Woohoo!" Homer started dancing to the toy. Oscar joined in.
Soon, Love Day was over.
"Hmmmmm, I better put Love Land away until next year." Marge said, disappointed Bart, Hugo and Lisa were not very enthusiastic about the new holiday. They were just happy having a new day off from school each year.
Outside on the front lawn was an electric musical animatronic display that wouldn't look out of place at a theme park. On the Valentine's Day themed heart shaped stage were an orchestra of cartoon bears wearing diapers and playing musical instruments. They looked very much like Care Bears.
"Cooooool! They're cute cuddly wuddly teddy bears! And they're wearing diapers!" Oscar remarked.
"Oscar you like anything as long as it involves diapers..." Bart remarked.
"Well I think we can keep Love Land on for a few more hours." Marge changed her mind and was in better mood because of Oscar's enthusiasm. Even if he just liked the musical, diaper wearing cartoon bears.
Homer got a Love Day gift from his wife, Marge.
"Sir Lovesalot! The talking teddy bear!" Homer was overjoyed.
"Isn't that just a repurposed Teddy Ruxpin..." Bart remarked.
"Well yeah, if you want to be pedantic..." Homer replied. He hugged the teddy bear. It spoke a few prerecorded lines it was program to say.
"Hmmmm, I wish you kids would show a little more enthusiasm!" Marge sighed. "Love is very important."
"Yeah, we wouldn't have had you three if it wasn't for love." Homer added.
"Homer not that kind of love..." Marge sighed.
”Oh we already learnt about love, at school.” said Bart. “Once there was bunny called Fuzzy bunny...”
”Bart! I just told your father, not that sort of love!” Marge said sharply.
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenize, and sold off, piece by piece!" Lisa retorted.
"That's not true! I know plenty of experiences we have had involving love!" Marge explained.
There was a flashback to "Lady Bouvier's Lover" which ended with Jaqueline getting back with Abe somehow because she couldn't decide who to marry as she didn't like him or Mr Burns. The family were now sitting in the kitchen.
"That wasn't romantic. We nearly ended up as five fingered weirdos with no overbites!" Bart explained. They then turned into the creepy bread commercial kids.
Homer screamed and ran out the kitchen.
"Well, you tell a romantic story." Marge asked.
"Easy." Bart replied. There is a flashback of an episode of Itchy and Scratchy where Itchy whacks Scratchy with a hammer knocking out his eyes. He gives Scratchy red bombs painted to look like eyes. Scratchy puts them in his eye sockets and gives Itchy a friendly handshake. Later Scratchy brushes his hair while looking in a mirror. He then screams with realisation before his head explodes.
Marge abruptly ends the flashback. "That's not what I had in mind..." She said frowning at Bart.
"Oh! I got one!" Homer suggested.
"It has to romantic." Marge added.
"Romantic ay....." Homer thought as the flashback started. However it was clips of him saying Mmmmm! At things he liked.
"Mmmmm! Chocolate! Mmmmm! Little party sandwiches! Mmmmmm Fattening! Mmmmm! Something! Mmmmmm! Marge! Mmmmmm! Sacrilicious!"
"Hmmmmm! That's not what I meant..." Marge sighed. "Oh I have one!"
A clip from "Black Widower" was shown.
"No no no! Not that one!" Marge interrupted the flashback. A clip from "Marge's Birthday" was shown. Marge narrated a faster paced version of her disappointing birthday gift and her whirlwind romance with Jacque Brunswick and her deciding to get back with Homer and to forgive him.
However at the end of the flashback Homer was horrified Marge was considering cheating on him! "Marge, I never want to see you with this Jacque ever again!" Homer insisted.
"Fine..." Marge sighed.
"Since we're traumatising the kids with extra marital infidelity... I have a little love story of my own!" Homer said sarcastically. He told the story of him and Mindy at work. The story ended with Homer ending it with Mindy and spending his last night at the hotel with Marge.
"So what happened to Mindy?" Bart asked.
"Yeah, What happened?!" Marge asked suspicious of him.
"Well, she hit the bottle pretty bad, developed a drinking problem and lost her job." Homer explained.
"Oh. Good." Marge replied. "Anyone else got a story?"
"I got one!" Bart explained. His flashback was "Bart the Lover."
"No wait that wasn't romantic at all!" Bart abruptly ended his story and shivered in disgust.
"How about where Selma married Sideshow-" Oscar asked.
"No!" Everyone said at once to him.
Suddenly, Milhouse popped through the window. "And there is a story... of my first love, the oh-so-lovely Samantha. I still visit her at the girls' catholic school during recess when I get the chance."
”Yeah but then Bart ruined things by telling her dad and he got her sent to that catholic school...” said Oscar.
Milhouse lost it and ninja leapt into the kitchen. “You sonnuva! I’ll kill you!” He throttled Bart.
The Simpsons winced.
"Lisa?" Marge asked Lisa.
Lisa thought long and hard of her short term relationship with Ralph before he started being clingy and embarrassing.
"Oh wait that one didn't end nicely." Lisa sighed as she quickly ended her flashback. "And oh, yes, I briefly had a crush on Nelson Muntz, but sadly...it didn't last long."
”Bart how about you? And not itchy and Scratchy where Itchy pulls out his heart...” Marge sighed.
”Kali maaaaa...” Oscar chanted.
"Oh yes," Bart recalled. "There was one girl who gave love a bad name...she was a loaded gun...Jessica Lovejoy. Shot through the heart, and she was to blame. I played my part and she played her game....she was one bad girl who loved bad boys but she was even worse than I was. She set me up for the theft of the church money!" Bart rapped as he told the story of when he met Jessica Lovejoy.
Marge sighed. “Oscar how about you? Do you have a story about true love?”
”Mom no!” Bart whined.
”Yes I most certainly do!” said Oscar. “The love between me and my teddy bear Teddy!” Oscar hugged his teddy bear creature called Teddy.
Bert face palmed.
Marge winced. “Um no...”
”Dad this lesson about love doesn’t appear to have struck its chord....” said Lisa.
“I have a story of true love...” said Homer thinking.
He dreamt of the time he sat in Maggie’s kiddie pool drinking bear and eating a hotdog, naked...
“There you are. Thought you could get away, huh?” Homer grinned grabbing his soaking wet half eaten hotdog.
”Homer that’s not romantic....” Marge said disgusted.
The Simpsons sighed.
"Hmmmmm, I guess your right... Romance is dead..." Marge sighed.
"I ain't licked yet!" Homer had a story. His was from "The way we were." It was the story of how they met at high school. The story had ups and downs before ending happily ever after with Homer's "and we never have." Line over the end as various clips from past episodes are shown of them kissing! Yeeeuck!
"Oh Homer!" Marge said lovingly. "See kids? Romance is alive and well! Kids?" However the kids had snuck off to watch Itchy and Scratchy in the lounge. Their laughter could be heard.
Marge and Homer sighed and started kissing.
That night Marge was suddenly woken up by Love Land still playing outside.
"Homer, Homer wake up! I think we've accidentally left Love Land on!" Marge tried to wake Homer.
He tossed and turned in his sleep.
"Homer... give me a sign you're listening..." Marge sighed.
"Homer!" Marge had to raise her voice slightly.
"Wha? Uh?" Homer woke confused.
"Homer we've accidentally left Love Land on! Come on! We'll have to go down and turn it off!" Marge explained.
Meanwhile out their bedroom window Oscar could be seen dancing on the Love Land animatronic's stage just wearing a diaper.
"Someone turn off that racket!" A neighbor yelled.
Homer sighed and went downstairs and turned off Love Land and got Oscar inside and off to bed.
He got back into bed. Marge was reading a romance novel.
“This romance is so full of heartfelt passion. I can really identify with this corn-fed heroine.” Marge sighed.
”Mmmmmmmm! Corn....” xOscar moaned from outside in the corridor.
”Oz! Go to sleep!” Homer groaned. He snored.
”Homer! Wake up!” Marge yelled.
“What's wrong? House run away? Dog's on fire?” Homer asked. XD! Dog on fire...
”No! I’m concerned the kids learnt nothing from Love Day.’ said Marge.
”Oh...” said Homer.
”There is only one guy who can help us...” said Marge.
The god of love Eros/Cupid was at the Simpsons house. He took upon the appearance of a baby with angelic wings wearing a diaper and holding a bow with a quiver over his shoulders with love arrows inside.
”Okay you owe me fifty dollars and I really need my diaper changed.” said Cupid.