Simpsons Fanon
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500 keys five hundred keys. And Bart as a naked fairy god child.

Plot[]

The title gag is Hank Scorpio riding a fighter jet. “It was either this or a Porsche.” He explained.

The billboard gag is “Want to gain weight now? Ask me how!” With a picture of Dr Nick.

The chalkboard gag is “it’s Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall.” Uh that one’s not funny...

The couch gag is a grey screen with black lettered words saying Couch for the couch, lamp for the lamp and Homer for where Homer is.

At a shop called I don’t. A wedding cake shop for cakes that get returned from failed weddings. Ie where the groom cheats on the bride etc.

Raphael or one of his clones is the shopkeeper.

“Wow! Look at all of these cakes!” said Homer. Bart and Lisa were also impressed. Oscar was licking his lips and rubbing his hands with hunger at the yummy cakes.

“Yes these are poor works of fine bakery that never got the chance to be cut because the weddings were not to be...” said Raphael.

“Eh?” Homer asked.

“I love your low prices, but why did these weddings get cancelled?” Oscar asked, smooshing his nose against the glass of the display cabinet the cakes were in.

“This one? The groom was cheating on his wife with her sister, this one, the father of the bride made a racist speech. (The cake had a black groom with a white bride) and this? She wanted blue rosettes, he slept with the parishioner.” said Raphael.

“My wife wanted blue rosettes. The florist said that was impossible and had to call upon some scientists to create a genetic mutant rose plant monster.” said Homer. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on my lovely Marge though. Even with a parishioner.”

”Fascinating life story, pally.” said Raphael.

“Returned because of a fight over the prenup.” Raphael continued.

“Aw... “ Homer cooed wistfully. Because the cake was beautiful but sadly the wedding was not to be.

”Father of the bride was a literal monster.” said Raphael. The father of the bride was some sort of monster. Hopefully a zombie.

Bart winced at my continued references to his future zombie bride.

“She wanted a cake with blue rosettes, he slept with her sister.” Again A bride wanted non existent blue roses.

”Again my fascinating life story of our second or third wedding- And Eeeeeeugh! There’s no way I’d do that!” Homer was disgusted such a scenario would happen. The poor sap probably had to have been very inebriated to sleep with his wife’s ugly sisters.

”Or he married the ugly sister and had an affair with the beautiful one...” said Oscar.

Homer wanted the largest cake out of the three Raphael described.

“Oh cake. Will you do the honour of making my stomach the happiest bowl of acid ever? You will!?” Homer spoke to the cake.

He took the cake home in the car. But there was a traffic jam.

“D’oh! Time we took a shortcut!” said Homer. Cool action music played as they went off road.

They went along a rocky path then vertically up a wall...

The cake tipped as its tiers slid about.

“Dad! The cake!” Bart yelled.

Homer steered the car towards a cliff edge.

“Dad! Our lives!” Lisa yelled.

Homer groaned and turned back towards the mountain road. As they drove, evil goats from Jumanji kicked rocks onto them. Homer groaned as the rocks damaged his car.

Then he saw cyclists heading towards him as he was driving the wrong way. “Oooooh! They have the right of way!” He drove dangerously on the edge of the road and leaned out with his kids to balance the car. There was enough room for the cyclists to ride past. “Yello.” said Homer.

“Guten tag!” said the German cyclists.

...

The Simpsons arrive home. They get out but Honer suddenly realises he left someone in the car. With the cake. Maggie.

Homer screamed when he saw Maggie in the car. He talked in baby talk to her. “Daddy will get you out sweetie!”

Maggie giggled and locked herself in.

“D’oh!” Homer groaned.

Marge came out.

“Sweetie here’s the good news. Two of your kids are not locked in the car.”

Marge screamed when she saw Maggie’s head poking out of the cake. Maggie deliberately as if making a rebellious point, licked up some icing and contemplated its flavour.

“Babies aren’t supposed to sleep on their stomachs in a cake! In fact they’re not supposed to have cake!” said Marge.

“Well I don’t have my car keys!” said Homer as Maggie slept on the cake.

“Oooooh!” Marge sighed. They ran inside.

Marge took out a kitchen draw and emptied loads of keys on the table. The Simpsons went through the keys.

“What’s this key with a plastic skull on it?” Lisa asked holding a key with a plastic skull keychain.

“That is the key to a box in my room with the real skull in it.” said Bart taking the key.

The Simpsons continue looking through the keys when Maggie arrives on her own and playing with some keys while covered in icing.

The Simpsons gasped.

“Maggie!” Homer said with joy. He picked up Maggie and vored her like a hungry python. Don’t you think any perverted thoughts Deviantart!

Maggie then stuck her arm in Homer’s mouth and retrieved her pacifier and put it back in her mouth and sucked it. Homer the coughed up her blue bow and she put it back in her hair.

“Why do we have all these keys?” Lisa asked as French music played.

I uh was watching a dodgy copy and um for some reason over the dialogue French music with accordionists played...

Hugo was playing an accordion.

“Hugo! Play that somewhere else!” Lisa yelled.

“Narrator stop pirating and buy the DVDs or watch this episode on TV or Hulu when it’s on...” Bart sighed.

“Any as I was saying.” said Lisa as Hugo starts playing French music on his accordion again. “What are all these keys for?”

“This,” said Homer holding a wooden block with the word “Men’s” in white letters with a little key hanging from it. “Is the key to the men’s room at a stingy restaurant where you have to pay to use the key to the bathroom. The block is to stop people taking the key. But as you can see... hehehe...”

Homer found another key. “These are from a key party we went to.” said Homer.

“But we left as soon as we learnt what a key party was!” said Marge. It’s group sex!! “In time!”

There was a flashback to that night. Eeeeeew!

Homer and Marge left a party in a hurry and Marge was rummaging in her purse for her car keys.

Suddenly Dr Hibbert topless called out to them with Luanne and Kirk Van Houten.

“Oh come on! Stay! You’re missing all the sex!” said Dr Hibbert. Eeeeeeew!

“Uh this key opens your parrot cage!” said Kirk.

“You know the rules!” said Dr Hibbert. Um... he has to have sex in the parrot cage?!

“These are all from my various jobs.” said Homer. Some of they keys read things like “Astronaut. Mayor’s bodyguard. Barney’s Bowlerama.”

“At some point we should try to return these!” said Marge.

“No! Let’s have fun!” said Bart taking some keys and running off.

“Bart no!” Marge yelled. “Homer stop him!”

“Stop who Marge?” said Homer running off with a key with a Duff beer bottle attached to it. “Be more specific!”

...

On a street Bart was causing trouble with his keys.

“Time for me to get my mischief on!” said Bart off to cause trouble.

He took out a key to the mail boxes. “First. A little federal crime...” he opened the mail box. But a man pushed past him.

“I can take back the angry letter I was gonna send to my boss for not rewarding my son for giving him blood and saving his life!” said the man.

Bart winced.

“You too?!” Homer gasped.

Then a woman took some mail.

“I didn’t really want that Readers Digest subscription!” She took a letter and ripped it up.

Then Professor Frink took back a letter. “Actually I shouldn’t patent a robot dog yet. It still needs adjustments. Oooooh why did I give it teeth?!” said Frink as a robot dog was biting his butt.

“Ooooooh! I tried to do bad and ended up doing good...” Bart sighed.

“Ha ha!” Reverend Lovejoy laughed at him.

...

Homer took his friend Barney to the Duff factory.

“Wow! How did you get the key to the Duff brewery?!” Barney asked.

“Well... it might have been when...” Homer day dreams.

He dreamt of a time when he went skinny dipping with Duff Man.

Duff man dived in a lake with Homer. “Duffman does not need beer to enjoy himself!” said Duffman. “... Do you have any beer?”

“Um no...” said Homer.

“Oh well. DuffMan heard drowning yourself feels like getting drunk!” Duffman tries to drown himself.

The dream ended.

“Or maybe I found them on the ground...” said Homer.

Homer and Barney let themselves in the brewery. “Look! Brewing ovens!” said Homer pointing out ovens that boiled and distilled the beer.

“The beechwood barrels!” said Barney feeling the giant wooden barrels.

“The rat filter pipe!” said Homer. A pipe labelled Rat Filter squeaked and rattled as there were rats inside.

“Look! They’re sorting out bears for contaminations!” said Barney as he hid with Homer behind a barrel as they watched a worker talking on his mobile to his friend while picking out rejected beers with things in them.

“Fine, fine, ear, fine, fine, mouse, fine, fine, rat, fine, syringe, fine, nose, fine, fine...” he was distracted and missed a jar with Hitler’s head in it! O_o.

Homer and Barney then watched old commercials such as one with a cartoon doctor taking off like a rocket. And a commercial with John F Kennedy and Richard Nixon.

Kennedy used to sound like Mayor Quimby.

“Actually we based Quimby on Kennedy.” said Homer.

“I errr um would like to use this opportunity to express my fondness for duff beer.” said Quimby sounding Kennedy.

People cheer.

“I uh, would also like to express my fondness for that particular beer.” said Nixon. The audience boo him.

“Boooooo!”

“Hmmmph! Never drank a beer in his whole life!” Homer muttered.

In the tasting room.

“Mmmmm! Gummy beers...” said Homer holding some colourful gummy beer bottles. He ate them. “Barney you’ve had enough! Let’s go home...” said Homer.

“No! I haven’t tried Duff raspberry... Duff dark... Lady Duff... Lady McDuff...” said Barney drunk. Suddenly he was attacked by Macbeth’s evil goons for saying Lady McDuff.

In the parking lot Barney too drunk to drive was getting in get his keys to drive.

“Barney, give me your keys your too drunk to drive...” said Homer.

“No!” said Barney.

“Very well... you leave me little choice...” Homer lunches him very hard.

“Ow! Homer what the?! What are you trying to do?!” Barney asked.

“I’m trying to knock you out!” Homer whacked him with a crowbar.

“Ow!” Barney whined.

Homer then slammed his head repeatedly in his car door.

“Ow! Ow! Ouch! I guess you leave me no choice! Cousin Barney! Help!” said Barney.

Homer turned round and gasped as evil Blond Barney from the old episodes knocked him out with one punch. That’s my fan theory that they’re cousins, Alvin and I’m sticking to it.

Barney belched and laughed evilly as he drove home dangerously drunk with his cousin. He knocked over Wiggum dressed as a German beer stein mug that was a mascot for Duff.

Wiggum cried and swore as he rolled about down a gully. “Hey this is actually fun! Wheeeeeee! Yahoo!” But then he crashed into a tree and violently exploded in a huge explosion.

Plot 2[]

At home.

“And these are from sardine cans your father opened. He saved them out of sentimental value.“ said Marge as there lots of Sardine can keys.

”Uh huh...” said Hugo bored slightly. “And why didn’t you tell me we have sardine cans?”

”So many Allen keys/wrenches here. Hmmmmm, author that line won’t be understood in America. We call them Allen wrenches.” said Marge not answering Hugo.

”Yes but in Blighty we call them Allen keys.” said Oscar.

Lisa finds from the key pile a set of keys.

“I better return these to the school.” said Lisa. She left with the keys.

“I better return this big glowing golden key to Wilf and Floppy before someone uses it to open inter dimensional gateways...” said Oscar using the key to open an inter dimensional door in nothing to another world. “Hey the book where Wilf’s grandma takes them to Scotland to see Loch Ness! Oh my god! Jeremy Beadle!” Yes there’s a Floppy the dog book with Jeremy Beadle as a news anchor in it...

Marge grimaced.

“Well that just leaves us with this odd looking key Maggie.” said Marge to Maggie while holding a clockwork toy’s key. “I wonder what its for...”

Maggie picked up a box for a toy called “Pooter Tooter’s express.” A little train that farts.

“Oh thank goodness your father’s not home to see his anniversary present!” said Marge. Then she took out the toy and tried the clockwork key on it. It got going and made farting sounds as it sprinted along on wheels until Marge switched it off. “I should really put that back.” But the kitchen phone rang. It was Bart. He had got up to something. “Bart return home with those keys.... Why do I hear blimp engines?!”

During this time Maggie turned the farting train toy on. It drove off on its own while farting. Then it went outside.

“Oh no! Pooter tooter express! Sensitive people might be offended by your good natured tasteless toilet humour! Hehehehe!” said Marge. Marge finding fart jokes funny... okay...

The little farting toy went past the fence between the Simpsons and Ned’s house.

“Well hello little train- Gaaaaaah!” Ned greeted the train but screamed because it was farting.

Marge sighed.

“Daddy did you make the devil’s music?” Rod asked.

“No it was this little train!” said Ned.

“What train?” Todd asked.

“You know, it was all up and down like...” said Ned.

“Lies make baby Jesus cry!” said Rod.

In canon he says this! Which I will be taking the piss out of!

”Lies make baby Jesus cry blood!” said Canon Rod.

”Oh my god! He has eye periods!!” Oscar screamed.

’No Oz!” Hugo groaned and shook his head.

...

Lisa was at school. For some reason other kids such as Nelson and Ralph were there. Along with Oscar who is everywhere to tell the story.

“Hey, Lisa. What you doing?” Nelson asked.

”Returning this lost key to Principal Skinner.“ said Lisa.

”But that key could open any door in the school. Aren't you curious?“ Nelson asked.

“Well, maybe a little. But I'd never break the rules.” said Lisa.

“Little Miss Play-It-Safe. Have a nice day. Just like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that...” said Nelson repeatedly like Mr Krabs when he swapped places with Plankton.

(over P.A.): “...and the day before that and the day before that...“ Nelson continued over the school P.A. speakers. Lisa rolled her eyes.

“Nelson, either tell them what they're having for lunch or get off the P.A.” yelled Skinner.

“Sloppy Joes! ...and the day before that... Tater tots! ...and the day before that...” said Nelson.

Lisa used the key to open the door. Inside were three shelves of books. “Ooh, banned books! (Lisa gasps) Band books! (gasps) Banned Band books!” She pondered. Could this key open...? Get thee behind me Namuche!”

“That's the Buddhist Satan.“ she explained to Ralph who was nearby.

Oscar screamed in fear and fled.

”No Oz! Nothing stupid, please!” Lisa whined.

...


Bart came across a window cleaner’s elevator. “Perhaps this key will put the key in anarchy! Mwuhahahaha!” said Bart activating the lift. It went up.

“The last place people will expect to see a moon, in the sky!” said Bart mooning the occupants of the flats.

Hugo opened his mouth to correct Bart’s epic fail on basic astronomy but stopped himself and shook his head deciding there was no point.

People such as dentists and lovers and posh ladies who say “Well I never!” Gasped in disgust at seeing Bart’s moon. His butt.

“Well I never!” They gasped.

However a man watering his flowers saw Bart’s bum and howled and turned into a werewolf! Bart grimaced at this odd sight.

Then Ol Gil commuted suicide but landed in the window Cleaner lift Bart was in with his pants down mooning people.

“Hurrah! I’m alive! And I owe it all to this naked fairy god boy!” said Gil.

“Oh geez! I hope no one heard you say that!” Bart groaned embarrassed.

“And so it is with great honour that I give this key to the city to this naked fairy god boy!” said Mayor Quimby. Bart was mortified.

“Hey what about me?!” said Naked Timmy Turner from the episode Crime Wave.

“You’re under arrest for public indecency!” said Wiggum arresting naked Timmy Turner.

Bart didn’t want the giant key so he gave it to Cleatus Spuckler. The Yokel.

“Hey Brandine! Now we can cut Embry Joe’s umbilical cord!” said Cleatus.

“Okay but first I’m mighty thirsty! Would you like some chocolate milk Embry-Joe?” Brandine asked her son still attached to her by his umbilical cord.

“Yes mama.” said Embry-Joe Spuckler.

Brandine gulped down some chocolate milk. Something was pumped through the umbilical cord into Embry-Joe’s stomach. He made a happy gurgle and a sigh as it was probably the chocolate milk...

...

Marge carrying Maggie went with Hugo to follow the pooting tooting express before it could upset anyone else. Marge gasped as it went inside a meeting hall of people with Irritable bowel syndrome.

“Oh no!” Marge gasped.

The toy farted offending the people with IBS.

“It’s mocking our condition!” A lady cried.

“That really irritates me!” A man yelled.

“Excuse me! Did you see a toy come through here?” Marge asked.

“Yes. Your hate crime just left!” said the IBS lady. Marge saw the little toy train leave. Farting as it went.

...

Homer visited the duff Brewery again with Barney after he had caused an accident driving about drunk.

“The furnaces!” Homer sighed admiring the distilling ovens/furnaces.

“The beechwood (Belches) barrels!” said Barney.

“Oh Barney, can you imagine working here?! It would be a dream come true!” said Homer.

“Actually it isn’t...” said Peter Griffin.

“Eh?” said Homer.

“I work at Pawtucket Brewery. They make my favourite beer, Pawtucket Patriot. But you’re not allowed to drink the produce at work... I thought I could, crashed a forklift causing a beer flood and got demoted to office work by my boss Angela...” said Peter. “And she’s really strict...”

“Okay that’s my dream crushed. Oh! The Duff blimp!” said Homer. Outside sat the Duff blimp. He decided to ride it with Barney.

...

Oscar popped home to the Simpsons and took some keys for his own mischievous reasons. He laughed maniacally. Then he went to Richard Gere’s Buddhist temple with Monkey Hero’s magic story book and performed a dark ritual to summon Namuche/Māra, The Satan of Buddhism.

(Evil Sanskrit chanting.) “Kallae Kistnae...” Oscar chanted evil charms in Sanskrit and Billy Madison gibberish. A fiery crater opened in the floor of the Zen garden.

”Oz What the?!” Richard Gere gasped.

A giant demonic Asura crawled out of the fiery crater. It was Namuche/The Mara. It roared.

”Oh shazbot!” Oscar yelped.

...

At School Lisa found the key unlocks the Banned Band Book cupboard and inside was a hole leading down a tunnel. “Oooooooh! Bright eyes! Fire flies!” She casted ethereal green fire flies with her magic wand and they light up the dark tunnel. At the end was a classroom door. Lisa unlocked it and to her surprise was a high tech classroom with state of the art equipment. But to her dismay it was all fake. The periodic table was just a placeholder and the students were just mannequins.

Meanwhile Oscar got detention for arriving to school late despite that Lisa did too and that Bart and Hugo were completely absent.

Oscar’s lines for the chalkboard gag he had to write because the Hulu version of this episode has a different chalkboard gag... is... “I will not use guinea pigs as guinea pigs.” The former is a cute squeaking little creature closely related to rabbits. The later is a science experiment volunteer. A volunteer for an experiment is called a guinea pig...

Some guinea pigs were running around squeaking.

”D’aaaaaaawwwwwww! Guinea piggies! Huawwwwwwwww!” Oscar squealed.

The school bell rang. Like Bart, Oscar flew out of school on his skateboard and rode off home.

He arrived at the cake shop that started this episode. It was closed now because Raphael went off to lunch.

“I’m sure for Plot reasons one of these keys I borrowed from the Simpsons opens the shop.” said Oscar fetching a grey key. It did. “Eureka! Now I can eat all the cakes!”

Oscar an inside and did just that. He was sat on the floor eating chocolate wedding cake While his pet dinosaur monster Dino, who looks like a baby Chomby was buried inside a cake with pink frosting and messily scooping up with his front feet bits of cake and eating it.

Then Majin Buu came in and ate the cakes.

“Mmmmmm! Buu want cake!” said fat Majin Buu.

Then Super Buu arrived and admired the cakes. “Lemon meringue pie! And Strawberry short cakes! And chocolate cheesecake! Yum!”

“Dude your making us hungry!” said Oscar eating cake.

Super Buu was too busy eating cakes to go on a rampage.

Gotenks arrives. Probably following Super Buu to fight him. Gotenks made a goofy confused face when saw Fat Buu, Super Buu and Oscar (and his pet dinosaur monster, Dino) inside eating cakes. “What the?!”

Oscar and the two versions of Buu were eating cake.

“Uh... Oscar you shouldn’t be breaking into shops and eating the cakes. Buu should know better but we sort of are in the middle of a fight to the death so I’m not as polite with him as I am being with you...” said Gotenks scratching his head confused as he floated in midair.

...

Bart fed up with the keys he took was ready to give up when he found one of them was an Alan Wrench. He grinned and used it to dismantle things by unscrewing them. Signs fell off shops, doors fell off of cars...some guy’s bike fell apart...

Bart laughed deviously. Then he was knocked aside as Super Buu and Gotenks flew out of the cake store and started fighting in midair in an almighty battle with kamehamehas and pink Buu beans that turn people into chocolate.

Bart winced. But things got more zany as Homer flew the Duff blimp erratically through the sky.

“Whooooooahh! Whoooooo!” He cried as he flew the blimp about madly.

Bart rolled his eyes. Then he stumbled as tremors from something enormous stomping about. “Uh?”

He looked up to see the Māra from Buddhism stomping about carrying scimitars in each of its many arms and causing utter destruction.

”What the Hell?!” Bart yelled.

Then a small farting train toy went past and Bart sighed as it went into a high class picnic of ladies that go “Well! I never!”

He immediately heard cries of “Well! I never!” And “Oh my goodness!” From the offended posh ladies upset over the farting toy.

“Ooooh! There it goes again!” Marge sighed as she ran past Bart. To collect the train.

Bart sighed.

Then Timmy Turner dashed past naked.

Plot 3[]

Meanwhile Krillin convinced Oscar to leave the cake store before he got into trouble with the shopkeeper for eating his produce.

“Now seriously! I’d expect you to know better that it is not okay to break into a cake shop and eat the cakes!” Krillin nagged.

“But Buu is eating the cakes!” Oscar explained as Fat Buu is eating the cakes as they come off the conveyor belt by laying under it so they fall into his mouth.

Oscar found some jello desserts and gummy vegetable treats and put them amongst the cakes coming out of the machine.

“I want to see if he likes jello/gummies or if he’s fussy like that Skeith on the Hungry Skeith game on Neopets.” said Oscar playing on his mypad.

“Oz just go before the shopkeeper gets back!” Krillin warned him.

“Let then eat cake!” Marie Antoinette demanded.

“The cake she was talking about was actually brioche.” said Lisa to the fourth wall.

...

Chalmers was cross with Skinner over something. Apparently in canon it was over the secret classroom Lisa found.

”Skinnnnner!” Chalmers yelled.

”Y-y-yes sir?” Skinner stammered.

”Seymour, I super intend 14 schools throughout Springfield! And I’m always visiting yours because of one of the Simpson kids!” Chalmers sounded furious. “If it’s not Bart’s shenanigans, it’s Lisa being too honest for her own good! Or it’s Hugo biting other kids or performing surgery on them in the playground!” He sighed. “What is this all about?!”

”Lisa Simpson claims to have found a secret class room.” said Skinner.

”It’s true! I’ll show you!” said Lisa.

She went to the door that lead to the secret classroom but all that was inside were shelves labelled “Banned Books.” Shelves labelled “Band books.” And shelves labelled “Banned Band Books. Oscar grabbed one book from the banned shelf and ran off chuckling.

”Oh my! No wonder why these books were banned and locked away! Tch! So many swears...” said Skinner.

”I swear there was a tunnel here!” Lisa was confused.

”Lisa remember when an evil toy company bought the school and you found a secret classroom....” Skinner sighed.

”Well I did! But they boarded fit up the next day! I swear! I saw a freaky Funzo skeleton!” Lisa protested.

”Lisa I have better things to do! Namely the rampant violence from the Dragon Ball Z characters and Oscar unleashed the Māra...” Skinner sighed.

Lisa winced.

...

In town.

“Mmm! That wisenheimer windup toy could be anywhere.” Marge muttered as she carried Maggie.

”That’s Wizardheimer!” Wizardheimer the evil Magikoopa wizard yelled with dramatic lighting and scare chords. “WIZARDHEIMEEEEEERRRR!”

Marge rolled her eyes.

(toy farting) The toy farting train scuttled past Oscar farting.

”Oh the Zoomanity!” He yelled in mock disgust. He says stupid things like that.

The Mara stomped on him and crushed him.

”At last...” Bart sighed. He’ll be back next episode, jackass...

Lisa investigates the secret classroom. It was the perfect classroom in her nerdy eyes. A science lab, a mathnasium, periodic tables... However everything was a clever fake. The map was fake, the model of a tooth had no dentine.

Lisa gasped as a person wrote on the blackboard “The children are on bus 23.” The figure fled.

”Wait!” said Lisa. She read the board. “The children are on bus 23.”

She pondered while pacing the halls of the school.

“Skinner's involved in this, deep. Crazy classroom, bus full of missing kids... I know who'd have some answers. Someone who's been here a long, long time.” said Lisa.

That someone was her ex boyfriend Nelson Muntz.

”Yeah, I've been held back more times than I can count. Which I guess is why I keep getting held back.” said Nelson.

”You know anything about Bus 23?“ Lisa asked.

”Whoa, Goldilocks! You best be leaving those bowls of porridge alone.“ said Nelson.

“But I want to break into Teddy’s Mom and Dad’s house and eat all their porridge!” Oscar whined.

crickets chirped.

”Oz how are you alive again...” Lisa asked.

”Because I am the narrator! I am invincible!” said Oscar.

“Anyhoo. There's only one bed that's just right for me, the bed with the truth in it. Which is probably the third one.” said Lisa.

”The right one for me is the one with Goldilocks sleeping in it! Mmmmmmmmmmm....” Oscar drooled.

”Eeeeeeew! Just eeeeew!” Lisa groaned. After retching she turned to Nelson. “Look just tell me about Bus 23.”

Nelson decided to bargain with her over the information as he smirked. “I will only tell you if you gimme a kiss.”

”No....” Lisa said sharply and annoyed. “We’re not kissing. I’m still mad at you for lying to me...”

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